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/dep/ - Depression

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What do you do when you try hard to make something happen and cultivate your skills, only for nothing to change? And then you try and change your approach and do something different and still nothing changes?

I am so jaded at this point and on the brink of a LDAR. Because why even try to do things when they aren’t going to happen? Like with my career and my health. Nothing is changing so it seems like a more appealing option to just LDAR and binge on shallow pleasures since I am damned anyway


I won’t bombard you with “advice” because I know the feeling. However, contemplate the phrase “self-fulfilling prophecy”.

That being said, I know how frustrating it can feel to try your hardest only for things to stay the same or get worse. I feel this especially with my health: I stopped all drugs and alcohol a year ago, I eat fairly healthily, I sleep well, etc etc., yet seemingly random health problems hit me as soon as things start to look up. The latest one has involved me mysteriously shitting blood.

At the end of the day, some things are in our control and some things aren’t. I can work to make my health better, but it will never be perfect. There are too many variables for that to happen. Some things are just bad luck. If you’re trying and trying to accomplish something but it never works out, there’s no shame in putting it down for a while until a later date when you have a fresh perspective. As cliché as it sounds, thinking outside the box is often a useful technique. There’s also nothing wrong with admitting defeat.

In short: Focus on what you are able to make better, and give little thought to the rest.


I don't really have any ability to control myself. I think I want to do certain things but then I can't make myself do them. I'm not sure if I'm trying or not. It feels like I'm trying my hardest to achieve my goals but if I'm not actually succeeding in making myself do things that bring myself closer to those goals, can I really call it trying at all?


this is something i struggled with for a long time. i would try to do something and try to do it intelligently, but get nothing out of it and it just looks like im wasting my time. i used to let people gaslight me that i just am not trying hard enough, even though i see people become successful who are shittier than me and dont put in any effort. but i realized that just because i don't have the opportunities to act on, that other people do have, doesn't mean i'm lazy.


Keep simplifying your life however long it takes until you can control what you are doing.


50% of humanity will soon, if it didnt already, become useless. As procreation is becoming more and more the last concern of many people. Its strange how it remind me of universe 25 experiment when mice stopped breading.
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I’m sorry to disparage “us” but 90% of men are just ugly ogres in the background being cogs off
Society. Most men are repulsive to succubi and unless they’re paying the succubi, there’s zero benefit for a succubus to associate with an ugly man.

I don’t even know why ugly people breed. You’re just condemning your child to a shitty existence from the womb


Third worlders are still breeding like rabbits, reproduction has been exported to the third world, now. Only the wealthy or exceptionally tight knit communities can sustainably have kids in the first world. If you say men are "useless", call your grandpa and get him to teach you woodworking/survivalism/farming/etc. Compared to previous generations men have become soft and complacent, you feel useless because you are useless.


crab spotted. Stop browsing female profiles online


Humanity has always been completely useless. Or rather, it has always been useful for this or that purpose that some other person had. This is means-end rationality.

"Humans were useful for reproduction." That's rational, but what is the value of use of reproduction? Replication for reproduction's sake? That's completely irrational. I don't see the point of the continuation of humanity except so that I may continue to consume a few of its products in a dimly-lit room — music, images and colors, stories, hardware and software. But even that eventually gets old. It might just decide to stop providing me with such things before then according to its rules of resource distribution.

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Does people really give each other expensive gifts and shit on christmas? every year? I've never given a fucking gift in my entire life and received nothing in return.

I can't believe normies do this stupid shit every year just to pretend that everything is good and the world isn't shit.
5 posts omitted. Click reply to view.


I haven't participated in Christmas in 20 years
But now I'm staying with relatives who are big on that shit
I'm thinking about how to get out of participating but I can't just drive off because I can't drive
Honestly this is the first time I've ever wanted to learn, so I can leave


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Whenever my parents ask me if I want anything for Christmas or my birthday, I tell them to donate to various AI safety and Effective Altruism-related charities.


Holidays are such a joke. I cringe at people puttting up decorations what are they tryin to hold onto theres no point to life.


I legit think of it as a ploy to keep each other poor.


The modern Santa himself is a capitalism scam to make the plebs spend their money and consume



I can't even hide it. Have never been able to, it has only gotten more visible and it has fully evolved to its full extent now that I am nearing 30.

It's my personality. I challenge fear instead of just cowering into it. If something is making me insecure, paranoid or fearful I will confront it. THAT has landed me into almost perpetual problems. A small price to pay for being crazy CHADwiz that gives no fucks.
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Only with my therapist


I don't talk to that many people but if it comes up I make no bones about being a crazy recluse
I've decided to turn away from society and make myself a pustule surviving on fact that Americans can't bring themselves to let people like me die like we're supposed to
It's nothing to be proud of but it's nothing to hide either
I can't and won't engage in the game of Life, what are you gonna do about it


Nobody in my family knows. Some of my online friends know, but I don't plan to tell them before I seppuku; they can look up an obituary if they really care, since they have my real name. I have one IRL friend who knows, but I don't vent to them so I don't think they understand the severity. Overall I hide my issues extremely well. I'm a chronic people pleaser and will do whatever it takes to hide my severe depression from the people around me. The funny thing is, this façade has only made it easier to rationalize my suicide, as I can easily say that nobody around me actually knows the "real" me.


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…hahaha. haha
>some of my online friends
heehee… heh…

>IRL friend

haha, oh wow
>my friends
>today me and my friends
>a friend and I


I don't know what normans like this even come here for.

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Might sound like a dumb question but here's the thing:
I'm absoluletly loaded with antidepressants and antipsychotic meds such as: Lithium,Risperidone,Haloperidol,Viverdal,Fluoxetin,Zoloft,Carbomazepine,Clonazepam.
And by loaded i mean LOADED,full sacks,boxes of it.But mostly with anti-depressants which for some reason i don't think are enough to kill even with high doses, personally i never heard of anyone OD'ing on anti-depressants, but i also have a significant amount of the others so a mixed cocktail could work.
My plan is to go as peacefully as i can and die.
Don't wanna deal with coma bullshit or someone having to clean my stomach and put me in some psych-ward.
I want 100% assurance i'm going to die.
I just want a comfortable way to go.
I had a really stressfull life and i couldn't find a single day of peace in these last few years so i deserve a peacefull and clean death.
Would just 6 tablets of Clonazepam be enough to do it? They absolutely knock me out like no other med ever did, closest feeling to dying i'd imagine.
Or do i have to go with the classic cocktail with everything in it and wish for luck?
And before someone asks:
No i can't buy a gun if i did i wouldn't be here.
No i can't buy N.
The classic hanging method still seems too risky despite what most of what you guys say.
So to me drugs are the way.
My major concerns are throwing up or some of the meds end up cancelling the effect of the others or some other nonsense happening and fucking it up.
I need to be absolutely sure i'm going to die.


>I need to be absolutely sure i'm going to die.
then dont bother with meds. you will not die. you will wake up later in agony in a hospital bed and things will only get worse.


I really doubt that.
By the amount of meds i can use and that i haven't been eating for days to make myself more vulnerable to the meds (which helps in case you're planning to OD) i don't think any heart would be able to take it.
Even if you have healthy heart.
I think this is it for me.
But thanks for giving your opinion anyway.
Hope you find peacefull way to go.


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OP here.
You know after reading the classic shill reply from that anon and looking at the piles of pills of almost all kinds, i realized that's obviously certain death for me or any human and that making this thread was a mistake. "A dumb question" indeed.
And after a while looking at these piles of pills i realized i've always knew what's going to happen to me when i take them. I'm finally free.
So could the MODS please delete this thread?
Nobody wants an useless thread clogging up the board right?
I forgot this was Wizchan and that this board you guys worship depression and don't really do anything about it unlike other boards such as good old /suicide/ on 8ch where things actually happened,people helped and people died.
So please MODS go ahead and please just delete this thread it's just wasting space on you precious board.
My sincere apologies.
And to those who stay i wish you finally find peace.


My trashy genetics ruins everything. I literally look,feel and act like a retarded zombiee. People often laugh smile or loo kaway when they see me, my face is revolting. The the whites of my eyes have a extremely unpleasing yellow/brownish complexion to them,my my gums have receeded thanks to gingivitis and my poor oral hygiene, suffer from constipation and my ribs are literally sticking out. Also; I haven't slept properly in over 3 years and look as if I belong in a grave. I am 23 years old and I am meant to be in the prime of my life, yet here I am rotting in my bed, surviving on one small meal a day with a bit of fruit included. Everyone else on this website complaining about their health should consider themselves lucky in comparison to me.


I am sorry about the bad grammar. I just can't be bothered anymore.


only mental problems for me, and I guess chronic joint pain since I hit puberty


I have been having a similar grammatical lapse
I don't have the strength to care about it anymore
As long as the gist of my ideas he across that's enough


I am a literal laughing stock; at first I attempted to divert the blame towards others but now I truly understand. When a large portion of people view you as a joke you have to reflect upon yourself. Now I am beginning to understand why. My life was over in my teeange years. Am I going to continue this way and be viewed as a retarded, dysfunctioning freak. No one really wants me around. My soul has had enough.


I am sure there are many modern health practcioners t can aswell as modern exercise and dietary methods that can help you with chronic joint pains. Therapist and other mental health professionals can help you through your problems. But me personally I've had enough.

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Im tired of leaving this stupid boring life with no surprises and no startling events whatsoever. I've decided that I'm killing myself and nothing has any meaning so before i do that, i want you to tell me random crazy shit to do. Like but keep it possible, im a pathetic coward and i wont be like cutting of my dick or joining the ISIS so just tell me like stupid random shit to do that might sound cool or new. Even if they are insane like reading every garlfiend comic ever or something, wih luck, when im done with it maybe i'll have something to care about or that i enjoyed doing. Again, please keep it possible for a stupid virgin like me to do, also i dont have the money to just "travel the world" so dont pull that bs pls. thank you so much
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God I hate that dude
He's just the latest in a long line of self help conartists


I think this guy(?) has trigger words to spam his shite on command. Make a thread with the word 'brainfog' and he's sure to pop up. At this point it's clearly avatarfagging.


Drink until you puke wizzie. Or play MMOs or something. Try WoW. Maybe binge read history if you're self improvement Sam. Maybe a quick toke if you know what I mean.. hehe
The chans are already a hobby, if you're real simple that ought to be all you need.
And anyway, drinking, it's the only part of normie culture to get into. I had about a pint tonight myself. It's great. And I'm substance opiate for marijuana, my health is okay and I don't really hurt.




Sheeit, I mean marijuana.
I stay clear of opioids now. No point in that shit, it makes you act retarded.

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I know this might sound off, but it's something that really bothers me.

I've done many things I regret in my life, for various different reasons, but one of the main type of memories that won't leave my head and makes me miserable is all of the times I've humiliated myself somehow, where I did something embarassing, or as it's usually called nowadays: "Cringe".

Things like throwing temper tantrums, or acting awkward and only realizing later, doing or saying something which made someone feel embarassed or even upset at me, being a sore loser, all of these things, sometimes in the middle of the night they just pop up in my head, these memories, I want to erase them.

Still, I know I can never really erase them, so I at least need to cope, how?
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okay that is clearly an example that is so extreme people are gonna remember it

but that does not apply to every little thing we do on a daily basis that is embarrassing and haunts the memory for no good reason


Not actually. The elements in your mind that allowed such events are like being supurated, therefore they still cling on you to torture as much as they can before death.

Follow the method, your brain may thank you: https://wizchan.org/dep/res/251711.html#251741


Will you stop peddling this hippy dippy fad diet snake oil in every thread


I simply block them out. If you don't talk to those people who were involved in your 'cringe' moments, then those moments might as well have never existed. I do this for every traumatic experience that I've encountered, and so far it's been working. Although, fair warning, if you aren't very good at blocking memories out, or can't find a good way to distract yourself constantly, this won't work and you'll start to suffer again.


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alcohol, and compulsive lying
I just keep drinking until what actually happened and what mightve happened are undistinguishable mush of memories. coupled with constantly lying to myself and others I've lost nearly all touch of what has actually happened and things I've made up entirely either to quickly get out of a confrontation or to comfort myself


I was literally humiliated by everyone at school, 6 years have passed and I never managed to unleash all the rage I had inside me. I was too weak, still am.
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I do give short answers. Literally yes or no most of the time. It doesn't help. It is impossible not to react to something. Even if I give a short answer or don't look at them, that is still a reaction. It then becomes a game for them to see how long I can keep this up, which they never get bored of.
Any time I do speak, such as to the guy sitting next to me, the bully will overhear and butt in and use what I said to mock me even though it wasn't directed at him. This makes me avoid speaking entirely.
>Have you actually never been bullied before?
I have been bullied since the age of 12 and have tried many different solutions. The only one that actually works is staying home.


You have to let go. Even if all the things that make you angry are true you have to let go, because at the end of the day all you have is your health, it's hard enough for people like us the be mentally healthy. Just find other things to focus on, if you need professional help go get it, sounds like you might with the pent up rage.


Bullies have no soul


Tell him to never speak to you again


This is a predatory world, you have not much choice but to keep foreseeing (a thing you do not seem to have even tried for a bit) more disgraces to come, many of them alike to what keeps you in bitterness because of your cowardice and lack of self-influence


I can’t be the only person here that gets extreme paranoia from being outside, can I? How do you cope with your paranoid delusions that crop up from day to day? I really wanna know, anything, therapy, meds, etc., this problem has ruined my life basically
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The problem is not paranoia, just the fear behind it, which has reached a morbid status.

Going towards it is the main solution I have ever found to emotional fears suggested by my own cracked mind


I suggest you take a minimum dosage of 5 mg antipsychotics
Being paranoid you're going to say no, but trust me your life is only going to get worse if you don't medicate yourself.
I suggest zyprexa, should help you get rid of paranoia or at the very least support you, maybe take some ssri's as well or benzodiazepines
Though benzos can slow your cognitive functions and be addictive so you need to tread carefully.


I can't tolerate antipsychotics, they make me restless and irritated and don't calm me down at all, I've had doctors push them on me a lot of times, tried pretty much all of them. Even though recently I've had to deal with being paranoid about rotting inside, I don't know how to fix it


well not much you can do about paranoia besides take those or some anxiety meds
That'd be benzos because ssri's are sugar pills that just give you ED


Get on a very low dose of antipsychotics (the cheap generic variety). You don't want to spiral into schizophrenia and wind up on some insanely high dose that makes you sleep all day, not bathe, gain 50 lbs and grow gyno. It happened to me at least initially and took me like 4 years to lose the weight and get on a low dose. I still barely have the energy to do anything mentally demanding.

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