A thread for those experiencing chronic everyday pain, what is it like, how do you feel, and how have you come to accept the innate suffering of being alive?
I am 25 years old, working a part time warehouse job, not heavy lifting just very repetitive crouching/squatting, A year ago, one day I suddenly with no warning began to feel a pressure that would build in my upper back between my shoulder blades, not particularly painful, but very tense and stiff in my muscles, noticeable and very uncomfortable. No amount of stretching alleviates it once I start work and moving my body. I am in agony every single day.
5pm-6pm I work cautiously, fearing the pain I will for certain endure in the coming hours all the whilst feeling the slight muscle stiffness that indicates the pain is just coming.
6pm-7pm The pain is in the mid-phase, at this moment I am trying everything I can think of to alleviate it, I change the pace of my walking in hopes that going slower will lessen the stress on my back, I walk and move more rapidly, more loosely in hopes that I can push through and ignore the pain through sheer concentration on my work foremost. I alter the different methods I use to bend down: squats, lunges, going on one knee, bending sideways. Nothing works for long and anything I do for too long just makes the pain flare up.
7pm-8pm, My mind goes to the time, If I can just get to 8pm I think to myself I only have to endure one more hour, at this point I can't do anything about the pain in my spine and all over my back now, I must endure it whatever level it has reached now, no matter what I have done successfully or not to mitigate it via my movements.
8pm-9pm finish, starting from 8pm I must use some sort of pain relief, deep heat only lasts for an hour at the very best, I save using painkillers for only the worst times. I do not want to make it a habit of taking them too frequently for fear they will lose effectiveness when I really need it as well as the fear that by not being able to actually feel the pain I'll be doing more damage to my body without realising it. 9pm finally comes, although my work constantly asks for overtime, I make it known I cannot do it. How long they will accept my broken and decaying body is uncertain, I used to be the best worker they had, the fastest, most reliable for overtime. Now I am useless, The flame that burns twice as bright lasts only half as long.
I go home, my back paiPost too long. Click here to view the full text.