/dep/ - Depression

>I miss being a proper neet so much and im jealous of people who can be
Same, strictly speaking I am a neet, but health issues make my life unbearable. Only the rope can release me from this crap

>>306724
> I wanted to move to SEA after grinding but nope
Why not? As much as it's nice to have expendable money it's really not worth it if you have to keep working for it IMO. I'd much rather save up and then live frugally as a NEET as long as possible in some third world country.

I'm just enough of a sperg to fail all chances at getting ahead, but not enough for neetbux. I'm lucky to have landed a job that values loyalty (getting crapped on for years) over excellence so I can coast I guess.

My first time being NEET it drained me and made me mentally ill, but I was far younger and thought I was missing out on life. 15 years later I now know that life has nothing to offer, and it's getting worse fast. I wish I could become NEET again, even if I had to be rather poor to do so. All I need is a room and PC

I'd rather check out than eventually getting a job, in which involves waking up early having to cook travel to my wageslave center in which I will be waging 8 hours while interacting with normgroids and then traveling back to cook again and wash the dishes before cleaning the house with no energy left in the little time that I have for myself, no amount of money is worth that life. At least I would accept work as a farmer for more hours a day since I wouldn't be cucking to some privileged retard bossing me around.

My dad's friend said something along the lines of the world will eat you alive or it will beat you into a pulp.

>>308204
Your dad's friend is out of touch. The reality is that life will either chew you up and spit you out, or it will sweep you under the rug.

>>308206
isn't what his dads friend said??

>>308207
some are lucky enough to be forgotten, I much prefer that than being beaten to a pulp with medical issues etc

>>308206
I mean all his children turned out alright.

>>308081
You are speaking as someone who is already informed of this and has some idea of how to use it as a tool while simultaneously avoiding the worst of it.
The average guy who suddenly develops audio hallucinations or gets suicidal will just get antipsychotics which destroy him.
I guess it is good for you you have the ability to extract value from the system.
But I avoid engaging with it entirely.

>>308152
I get what you are saying but as I said this is every system. Legal system, tax system, medical system/normal doctors, how employment works. We live in a world where everything is designed to degrade you and extract as much value out of you as possible and spit you out. Psychology isn't special in that it's just another instance and the average guy needs to know that just as well for all those other situations he can't avoid.

>>308165
>We live in a world where everything is designed to degrade you and extract as much value out of you as possible
I don't think the current decline and dysfunction is really because people tend to extract value. More like a certain way of thinking dominates, everything has to be "locked down", similar to each other, homogenised, unpleasant and every other approach or way of doing things is bad or "doesn't even exist"

>>308169
It's just a humiliation ritual.

>>308170
yeah this too but the system tricks you a little bit by constantly humiliating those outside of it
while those outside of it don't have to suffer from it
like neets don't have to suffer from humiliation at work and won't even read propaganda like "being unemployed means you are humiliated"
it's full of stupid lies like that
I definitely agree these humiliation rituals are insufferable and make people want to neet and such

>>307731
Depressingly true.
I used to have online friends when I was a fun clown in MMOs and later when I was hardcore high rank in a moba…
Never since.
Though to be fair I never looked for them outright either or asked to join or whatever.
>dry up like plants and die off.
Unfortunately. If you have a multiyear or decade long lay-down-and-rot episode you are just stuck alone forever.

>>307949
>Unfortunately. If you have a multiyear or decade long lay-down-and-rot episode you are just stuck alone forever.

No social obligations, no letting people down, no emotional stress from others, a lot cheaper without stuff like dinners and events, no helping people move, maximum free time for hobbies, interests, etc.

so it's not necessarily "unfortunately", but it is true… very hard to recover from looooong breaks of many things

somethings come back like riding a bike…

others truly atrophy and die.

or you just give up and don't try anymore so it might as well be dead…just slowly rotting

>Though to be fair I never looked for them outright

Were you just not motivated? Or was something holding you back

>>307958
That all sounds nice, but I was killing myself mentally.
Stress and neglect combined ruined my health for good in many ways.
>or you just give up and don't try anymore so it might as well be dead…just slowly rotting
Pretty much. At some point I just surrendered. I truly tried to do a lot of things, maybe it's some mental problem, but I could just never act on anything that wasn't directly stimulating.
At some point even those lost any appeal.

>others truly atrophy and die.
Indeed, to the point where I developed panic attacks whenever I'm around people or even talk to them over voice calls lately.
I can't even control it. It's very weird.

>Were you just not motivated? Or was something holding you back
Much was lost as you say. I lost interest in most if not all things and without caring about anything, what do you even talk about with people?
I asked an anon this above >>307748 and the response was as expected… they don't have much to talk about with people either.
What would I even do if I had friends? I can't tell you.

I was motivated for a bit.
I tried to reignite a passion for yugioh (childhood love) spent a good chunk of time going to local gatherings, but it didn't work out.
I couldn't connect to people at all aside from the somewhat forced interactions due to the nature of the engagement/game.
The panic attacks got worse too, but I forced it for almost a year.
Post too long. Click here to view the full text.

>>307723
>Very late 20s. Never been on a date, never been approached. Never had any friends, only acquaintances
All that plus, never had a job, never had any respect, never had any friends either to confide to like you and the ones that I did have never really talked to me after school/college etc. I just wish everyday that I go and sleep that this sleep should be my last.
>>307729
>we're fundamentally victims of poverty, not of money or resources, but experiences. if you don't have the right experiences by a certain age, it's over
completely agree with that except I am actually a victim of being short on money and resources as well
>even if someone gave me friends and a gf on a silver plater, i wouldn't know what to do with them, i would feel nothing
This is where I would partially disagree with you, while it's true that it would be hard to navigate a situation like this, I doubt that people can truly accept and find solace without having someone, hate to say it, but I think all of us hooomans are wired the same way, even introverts, and recluses. That to some degree, their biology, their heart, and mind require someone to be with them for companionship.

>>307958
>maximum free time for hobbies, interests, etc.
Unless you're a programmer, you are basically stuck reading books and watching anime if you wish to avoid social obligations, letting people down and emotional stress from others.

>>304292
>I want to be a natural blonde and blue-eyed person with paler skin, from a Germanic tribe, and mainly from a 1st world country.

for what purpose?

>>304281
with such english you dont have to bother learning anything in the first place , go watch shoujo anime.

>>305550
To not feel like you're a net negative on the Earth

>>307993
>feel like you're a net negative
There are plenty net negatives in this world that dont dwell on this. You having a "proper" life wouldnt balance this out.

For any action to occur, the discomfort of doing nothing needs to outweigh the discomfort of moving, and the good news for you is that any retard these days can devise a plan of action if they have a clear objective in mind.

>>307624
they wake up call was a while ago I installed NoScript as a means of making my web browsing more secure when I heard all of the remote executables you could launch with JavaScript. Now every fucking website is blank on a browser I run with NoScript. You gotta bend over and let your privacy be fucked just to watch silly videos. Now its getting worse where not only does everyone want you to make an account using a gmail, but they want your fucking phone number. Pretty soon they are gonna demand your credit card number and enable an autopay function by default just to have an account.

>>307677
>emote executables you could launch with JavaScript
You need to have those executables on your system, the script on the browser needs to know their exact path, and all modern browsers ask you to confirm before a script on the page can communicate with something on your system. If those executables communicate with the internet they need to have Windows give them a firewall entry which is asked upon the first time they're launched.
>You gotta bend over and let your privacy be fucked
How dare them allow you to use their website for free. The nerve of them to do so and require basic information about your browser required to give you a webpage that works. The absolute freaks they must be to not offer streaming HD content while accommodating some dork who purposely chips away at his browser functionality out of his misguided phobia about being datamined or something. You paranoid privacy shizos are the ones killing the internet.

>>307678
so lowbrow lol. time to reboot, you've got a windows 11 update is pending

I hate how everything's hobby-related online has become a dick measuring contest. People can't seem to have genuine interest in things without making it about views, clicks, or money.

>>307990
hard to have genuine interest in anything when you can have zero reward in either short or long term

>>307343
sometimes i wonder about the power of it- is it from the retention itself (like chi or life force) or is it more of the act of discipline, like training yourself to hold your breath, you become more efficient at using oxygen in your body, you train past the pain (with sex the 'pain' would be that 'itch' drive force that produces urges etc)

Curious how practicitoners here utilize the practice. Do you have any conscious practice around it?

Doing some self-examination here… obviously i'm giving myself signs to quit and give myself a break at the very least to reset my libido… my spirituality has been really out of touch for months

>>307344
I don't believe in chi or vitalistic ideas and all that stuff because I experiment with what I believe maybe and it seems to be hypnosis, beliefs, and mild altered states of consciousness.
Kinda materialistic approach if you see it like that way.
Maybe nofap, abstinence, and holding back make you more susceptible to suggestions/hypnosis.
Or maybe it opens you up to some kind of magic, I don't know, I have no idea.
Maybe it change something in your head, neurochemicals, i dont know, or maybe its just for discipline or sex control.
>Also
Right now I'm trying the 50-day challenge just to see what it's like. I did it last year, but I never actually had orgasms I just fapped without it. Basically, I was just “gooning” (I think Genesis P-Orridge recommended this method in one of his books or something lol), although there are several authors who replace the no fap no sex with something else that's just as bizarre in its own right related to sexual activity.
I dont know Wizard.

>>307362
that sounds like the eroto-comatose lucidity technique
how long were your sessions and did you reach an altered state of consciousness with them?

>>307363
>that sounds like the eroto-comatose lucidity technique
No, the gooning tech like p o-rridge maybe suggested is just fap without orgasm climax for 50 days or more.
The eroto-comosatose was more into total stimuly of all the senses, never tried it. But i remember reading somewhere that use abstinense to enchance pleasure sense.
>how long were your sessions and did you reach an altered state of consciousness with them?
I know its not the topic of the answer but sometimes i got a lot of focus and visualization just by focusing and feign having sex in my head in my bed. It even enchanced orgasm feeling so maybe the thing of visualization and acting was into it.
In a way is like playing before sex for succubus maybe. The focus exchance the orgasm and pleasure maybe.
In the Tibet the buddhist do something similar but with deities and visual power.

>>307364
Guys, i was reading, i asked a AI about Semen-retention around 50 days (not Nofap, just semen-retention but same) around neurochemicals and brain etc and the AI cited me interesting articles that i lost now but look like nofap in a way enchance suggestionability based in a production of a neurochemical in head (ignoring the other good effects of taking a good healthy routine in 50 days) in the 50 days
>in 7 days get the peak testoterone (i tested this and i can confirm its true for my experience)

>after 7 maybe, the testoterone to the in a way middle or like Regression toward the mean

>after 14 or 17 days supposed get a light change in brain

>but after 50 days something change in a way reset and some neurochemical improves suggestibility

So… ignoring the Gooning Magical technique or the nofap technique for more pleasure later or even placebos and beliefs/bias, maybe the old pagan Greek philosopher, Chinese taoist/daoist, Roman philosophers, Vitalist, Victorian mages like Papus (this guys say this is the first thing to magic but 40 or 48 days i dont remember), Aleister Crowley and maybe Golden Dawn around abstinence, and Robert Anton Wilson around the secret of sex magic of 50 days in sexual abstinence and other modern ceremonial magicians etc maybe that's the secret
>what?
improves suggestibility based in reset of the brain and production of a neurochemical that improves suggestibility to self-hypnosis or rituals, like RAW book around sexual imprinting we are making a new opportunity to imprint one of the circuits? who knows? like a pavlov dog or a peak or trauma experience?
Maybe the AI have bias or i go full schizo but why no try? maybe its just a placebo but why not try?
>Also
Yeah, this is probably pseudoscience, but as I recall, the AI cited studies mentioned humans and the chemistry of sex, masturbation, and addictions, as well as animal experiments—which doesn’t exactly make it very credible but I still think there’s something odd about ceremonial magicians placing so much emphasis on 40, 48, or 50 days of sexual abstinence. anyone know same practice and days in chinese or oriental magesPost too long. Click here to view the full text.

Everything revolves around balance. Evil is just another useless concept that doesn't work without there being good. Maybe existence is just there because some bored Gods wanted to demonstrate each other what these formal concepts look like in full colour and how limited conscious beings behave when they are given the option between good and evil.

>>307910
And I' sure you define torture as minor inconvenience.

look into gnosticism. i'm increasingly convinced it's the truth.

>>307913
Here is a list of what I call torture that is commonly suffered on earth:

Hunger and thirst -> the most common form of torment in nature and the major cause of death among animals
Temperature -> from being burned alive to frozen to death I call this the seasonal torture
Violence -> millions of animals are slaughtered every day, among humans every 30 seconds a violent crime happens
Disease -> pain, suffocation, nausea, dizziness, itching, spasms, pressure, discomfort, cramps, paralysis, clots, dysfunction, infections, cancer, etc…
Psychological torment -> anxiety, depression, psychosis, existential dread, trauma, etc…
Fatigue and coercion -> being tired and exhausted, forced slavery, enduring prison or psychiatrization
Emotional trauma -> being scolded, abandoned, abused, bullied, etc…
Nature -> insects biting you, animals devouring you, losing your home from a disaster, storms, earthquake, eruptions
Threat from outer space -> asteroids, aliens, intergalactic events, etc…
Laws -> many laws may prevent you from getting relief such as a home for the homeless, or opioids for the suffering ones

>>307917
Drug addicts not being given free drugs is torture..? So I was right.

>>307829
fact check: false

>>307830
> Stop giving a fk about them and start focusing on yourself and what you want in life.

What he said is true. Also if you actually live like that good things come automatic.

>>307829
>not care about what others think
ill just get my shit kicked in if its around the wrong person

>>307837
Are you so small and weak that you believe people will not only attack you, but also beat you every time? If someone gets violent, get violent back.

>>307831
not true. Having a valid social environment that helps you grow is just as important. source: look at the mirror.

>living is not worth it
I agree. I'm Christian and it's evil to say God sends people to Hell for suicide according to the Bible as it nowhere says this, in fact several Old Testament figures game ended themselves.
Isekaism, that is being forced to live over and over again sounds incredibly depressing to me.

>>307757
I just want to go to a magical medieval world and get reincarnated as a crown prince.

I actually died last year after some dipshit told me I could make a portal to Gensokyo by cooking pennies on a stove or something. The planet I got reincarnated to was 100% full of other reincarnated Earthlings. Instead of being all fantasy and cool it was just diet Earth with crappy tech. Same old groids. Everyone lied about what they were in their previous life while constantly having dick-measuring contests over who died the most brutally. I was friends with a guy who said he was a B-52 bomber pilot who, instead of bailing out, died steering his flaming plane away from a church full of kids. I found it suspicious that he was still so young so when I killed myself to reincarnate again I asked the angel responsible for moving my soul and she confirmed that it was total bullshit and he would have been an old man if he was telling the truth. Evidently I was reincarnated back on Earth Classic with a secret duty to fulfill and once that's done they say they'll try to reincarnate me as my younger self on to one of the dangerous but fantastical planets with its own native populace of cute witches. Apparently it was a fluke for me to end up on the bad planet in the first place considering I died a virgin so they just reset my entire record.

>>307760
the more I think about it, I see zero point in staying alive in this world

>>307812
here's a science pill i heard recently. "chicken is an egg's way of making another egg". this finished what scraps of spirituality remained in me. so yeah you're right there's literally no reason to stay alive. never has been.