[ Home ] [ wiz / dep / hob / lounge / jp / meta / games / music ] [ all ] [  Rules ] [  FAQ ] [  Search /  History ] [  Textboard ] [  Wiki ]

/dep/ - Depression

Depression
[]
Email
Subject
Comment
File
Embed
Password (For file deletion.)

  [Go to bottom]  [Catalog]  [Reload]  [Archive]

File: 1592120463751.jpg (27.83 KB, 728x582, 364:291, anime-girl-black-hair-sad-….jpg) ImgOps iqdb

 No.222184[Reply]

To start off, I am a 21yo apprentice wizard living in a third world country.

Growing up I had a very negative childhood consisted of bullying and humiliation which traumatized me and gave lots of complicated mental health issues, such as (anxiety disorder, panic disorder, depression, and agoraphobia)

I did well in elementary and middle school, despite being so vulnerable that I was almost a target for every other kid to show off his masculinity, thus impressing succubus and getting along with them.
From a very young age I was noticeably morbidly obese due to my parent's ignorance and unhealthy, illogical amounts of junk food they've been feeding me for the first decade and a half of my life. along with being morbidly obese my shyness didn't help but damage my already declining self-esteem even further. Nonetheless I managed to be one of the top students in school and I was always complimented by teachers and given awards, however. all that came to an end once I started high school that was almost 4 years ago, my panic disorder got much worse for which I had to shut myself away in my room because I couldn't handle the stress of being involved in social situations. As helpless as I was I had to see a psychiatrist in mid 2017, he insisted on putting me on antidepressants so I can somewhat manage my suicidal ideation. consequently and due to the side effects of the medications, I dropped out of high school and apparently have no future right now whatsoever!

3 years after and I'm not as depressed and suicidal anymore, however. there's a deep sense of sadness and sorrow growing up and eating me from the inside, I want to go to college (My parents are poor folks with no inheritance left for me) I need to graduate and find a job and since I'm in a third world country even minimum wage jobs require a college degree. I don't know I still have to graduate high school, I have time though, a whole year ahead of me.
So what do you think wizzies ? should I seriously consider getting back into the education system and graduate high school? should I be scared of relapsing at any moment because of the amount of dedication it requires to graduate especially after 4 years of hopelessly lurking chans and watching anime?

Any other wizards who are living in third world countries and have to deal with the education system, are welcome here, share your stories wizzies.
1 post omitted. Click reply to view.

 No.222190

How about posting in the already available third-world threads?
I'm going to have to start linking you newfags aren't i..
Mods, instead of deleting my posts how about you actually do your jobs around here?

 No.222213

>>222184
see if your local government offers any kind of "graduate & get a job" program for young adults. you should also look for subsidies for the obese/mentally ill. it's going to be a dehumanizing and humiliating process nonetheless

 No.222215

>>222212
Isn't step 4 killing yourself?
How long have you been NEETing on your workbux?

 No.222217

>>222184
>I am a 21yo apprentice wizard living in a third world country.
Took my time to read because I'm a third worldler spicwiz.

>have to deal with the education system, are welcome here, share your stories wizzies

I'm going to assume you're forced to work or starve (just like me) because there's no autismbux where you live and NEETdom doesn't exist because of being third-world.
Forget about how good or bad your situation is. Focus on getting your degree/diploma and on getting a job, I'm assuming you need the money for obvious reasons. Education goes way beyond what they teach at school/university/college. I work in accounting/finance/audit and there's always new accounting or audit standards I'm supposed to study by myself. I'm still studying and I've been working in finance for a decade.

>From a very young age I was noticeably morbidly obese

Why is this a bad thing, are you still obese? What's wrong with being obese or being thin or whatever? People won't accept you? Forget about what other people think. You can't accept yourself? That's in your hands. I've had a very visible chronic skin condition since I was a kid. I can't do anything about it, there's no cure or treatment. There's nothing I can do. I accept that. I feel comfortable in my own skin.

>illogical amounts of junk food they've been feeding

You're a grown ass man, get your own food. Self reliance is very important, even more given that you're a third-wordler. Mommy and daddy will die some day, what will you do without them?

>My parents are poor folks with no inheritance left for me

Same as me, that's not an excuse to not take ownership of your own life.

>muh depression

Practice dettachment. You're not the body. You're not the person. You're not the feeling.

Let go off your past, don't worry about your future. Live now.

 No.222229

>>222184
What other choices do you have? Highschool will always be easy due to how the curriculum has to be adapted to the lowest common denominator. If you can make such a long and coherent OP post, you're already equipped to past highschool. University is trickier. I dropped out of a "good" university because I don't have the dedication to do anything but I am now doing okay at this shitty university that demands very little work and is practically selling degrees, not an uncommon sight in my part of the third world.

You're probably worse off than me since you've been NEET for so long. I don't know if working abroad is a good idea since it tends to be more stressful than working in your hometown. Try to see if you can do a standardized test for a highschool degree instead of going back to highschool (or just buy one from corrupt officials). Then try to find a lenient shitty university where kids too stupid for proper colleges go. Do a degree with the highest number of socially awkward students. It is IT in my case but your country may be different. Alternatively, you can also work, study a trade or find some other way to make money but I have no experience with that.



File: 1591797257906.png (642.76 KB, 1022x731, 1022:731, Its_All_So_Tiresome.png) ImgOps iqdb

 No.221900[Reply]

Every time I turn on my computer a deep sense of emptiness and depression overcomes me.
I always have to think about how much time I have wasted now doing nothing but trivial tasks like downloading movies, watching useless yt videos and switching between the usual websites and every ambition I might have had is instantly forgotten and the cycle repeats again.
I want to do something useful with the massive amount of free time I have, but everytime I try, this void overcomes me.
I have not played a single game since 2018 or something like that because it felt like a waste of time
Now I have sunken even lower than a consumer cuck

It must have been this cycle of constant failure that has manifested itself inside my brain.
I am beginning to think that this might be related to my autism ocd or whatever that I can't process the massive amount of information available on the internet and should refrain from internet usage altogether.
there must be something to break free of this hell…
16 posts and 6 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

 No.222102

File: 1592069355405.jpg (46.99 KB, 510x598, 255:299, ia_3400003222.jpg) ImgOps iqdb

>>222091
I have been doing something productive the past few days.
I have been selling a lot of the shit that has been laying around unused in my room.
it's just cringe actually meeting up with the people in person.
Most of the stuff I have just sent by parcel.
But it sure is a good feel getting rid of stuff and making some money incidentally

 No.222103

>>222090
How do you know? The afterlife is a meme to keep taxes coming in consistently

 No.222104

File: 1592072023092.png (2.46 MB, 1485x1117, 1485:1117, 1591878815.png) ImgOps iqdb

>>222103
he doesn't know and nobody really does.

 No.222194

>>222104
Right, but no-one who i reply to on this ever responds to me.
The fact that all afterlife talk is made to control the populous seems to be lost on them

 No.222209

>>222102
>it's just cringe
It's just "cringy", you mean. Cringe is a verb.



File: 1586533867964.jpg (237.48 KB, 384x384, 1:1, citykid.jpg) ImgOps iqdb

 No.218306[Reply]

Let's say you could arrange a deal that on 1st Jan 2021 you would cease to exist, what would you spend the rest of the year doing?

My options seem to be:
>Create maximum chaos
Either plan out one big caper, or keep ramping up small acts of dissent here and there, credit cards maxxed, fraud, insurgency etc..
>Monk LARP
Go to Tibet or some equally truwiz place and learn some 'real shit' as it were that could prepare me for the finale
>Continue being a degen, watching increasingly more depraved erotica, eating myself into a stupor and likely dieing before the given date
The true answer
19 posts and 1 image reply omitted. Click reply to view.

 No.221771

>>221770
well, he sure does loves weed, but still that"nigger with more hair than neurons" is more successful then a smart intellectual such as yourself

 No.221788

Make preparations for the afterlife, or my next life if that's even a thing. Probably nothing happens after death, and it probably makes no difference to ponder on it, but there is still slim hope something better can come after.

 No.221860

>>221788
What preparations can you make for the afterlife?

 No.221864

>>218306
>If you could be guaranteed death

I'm already guaranteed to die one day. I can take it away whenever I want to. If I can go whenever I want to, I might as well seek what I enjoy until I die.

 No.222159

>>218306
Scour the local area for the most comfortable patch of vacant land.
Go there December 31st and simply wait.
Otherwise, it'd be regular media-consumption for the duration of the year.



 No.215517[Reply]

I still can't do it well or handwrite properly. Basically anything with visual spacial stuff that's multi step is a nightmare.
22 posts and 4 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

 No.221901

>>220220
https://www.fieggen.com/shoelace/secureknot.htm
I use his secure knot and my shoes haven't come undone since I started, they used to come undone daily.

 No.221912

>>220319
programming skill ultimately comes down to problem-solving ability and being able to break things down, which I was horrible at. I memorized a lot of syntax and it didn't get me anywhere. fizz buzz is easy to memorize. the project euler style shit is mind-breaking if you aren't high iq

 No.221921

I can tie my shoes but I only know how to do it one way. My handwriting is usually messy. I have a minor Non Verbal Learning Disability, so I would say that the people posting in this thread who struggle with Visio-spatial tasks may not have a NVLD.

 No.221922

I meant to say that the people posting in this thread MAY have a NVLD. Man, I wonder what other learning disabilities I have.

 No.221940

>>221921
Mine is more severe. How does your minor one manifest? But yeah the numbers for NVLD are said to be underestimated. It seems to be the most wizardly disability.



File: 1586476998934.gif (619.78 KB, 245x145, 49:29, uftutdyr.gif) ImgOps iqdb

 No.218261[Reply][Last 50 Posts]

No hope, no prospects edition

previous >>214237
302 posts and 40 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

 No.221945

>>221871

Nothing happened. Lmao. Time will heal these wounds. Also not talking about it ofc. Horray for not addressing problems!

 No.222322

>>220730
You can’t have armor piercing AND hollow point. One negates the effect of the other

 No.222449

I applied for unemployment but I also never cashed in on when I was basically out of work for a month and a half in May, but now I'm in waiting hell because they still havent responded to the unemployment claim I sent in 9 fucking days ago, and my co-worker said he got a response within a week. AND I can't send in another claim for the 1.5 months I never claimed for until I got a response. Fuck

 No.222450

>>222449
ex coworker I should say since I dont work there any more

 No.222452



[Last 50 Posts]

File: 1582504555868.png (1.55 MB, 767x960, 767:960, 1529503924465.png) ImgOps iqdb

 No.215185[Reply]

5'8, 127.9lbs
i hate it so fucking much, i wish my diet weren't at the whim of others. lunch is the only meal i can consistently skip, i can't purge, and i only have a few hours a day to exercise.
no amount of sit ups and squats can burn 500 calories consistently
73 posts and 5 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

 No.220505

File: 1589903761957.jpeg (290.81 KB, 869x1497, 869:1497, EF16FC85-A582-4C43-B8A0-0….jpeg) ImgOps iqdb


 No.220578

>>215617
What? You could totally go for runs, if you're alright with doing them at night time or very early in the morning you'll very very rarely ever have anyone say anything to you

Especially if you're listening to something, music, podcast, audiobook
people won't bother you with earbuds in friend

go get that run

 No.220579

>>215617
>only running and swimming are efficient, and they require social interaction.
you what

 No.220581

Why does starvation feel so rewarding? Shame it’s an awful suicide method.

 No.221859

I plan on cutting back food again tm



File: 1591723276985.png (75.04 KB, 200x200, 1:1, 1590772695-0s.png) ImgOps iqdb

 No.221842[Reply]

Why are you depressed, depresion is just in the head ,just cheer up for once

 No.221843

Moved to >>>/b/486861.



File: 1586569448072.jpeg (52.41 KB, 700x934, 350:467, 94E5CBE7-698B-442F-A5B0-8….jpeg) ImgOps iqdb

 No.218346[Reply]

I both believe in and thoroughly hate God. Now a lot of you atheists will think “LOL WhY hATe GuD InSteAD thInK HiM not ReaL?” But disbelief is not an option for me due to intense personal revelation. That’s right, I was in the thick of it, fasting for numbers of days at a time, getting tested by demons and I have fuck all to show for it aside from some psychotic diagnoses I was finally able to milk for neetbux. I’m going to hell and let me tell you God is an importunate douche.
63 posts and 8 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

 No.221716

>>221703
>In all probability, OP is just heretic
Ftfy, faggot.

 No.221717

>>221703
Learn what "schizophrenia" means, religious retard.
And it has nothing to do with wrongthink.

 No.221718

>>221206
They don't, they replaced it with scientism, materialism, aka cult of saturn and cult of ishtar, aka lgbt.
Its really shame, it would be neat if religion were gone.

 No.221729

>>221717
lol not believing someone's religious ramblings is religious all of a sudden

schizophrenia does have to do with hallucinating and seeing supernatural shit

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Terry_A._Davis

 No.221828

>>221716
The thing is you are to. You just have yet to admit it. You don’t love God. You don’t even know him.



File: 1586029133720.jpg (81.56 KB, 907x1360, 907:1360, 61gafoq4XBL.jpg) ImgOps iqdb

 No.217938[Reply][Last 50 Posts]

Post here when you don't have enough to say for a topic and it's too depressing for the general crawl thread.
305 posts and 49 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

 No.220665

>>220559
Smoking probably won't help. A few years ago I was hostile towards the idea of smoking, but now I smoke ten cigarettes a day and it just makes me feel worse.

 No.220692

Well today my (online classes) started again and again I just sat there in front of my PC during a calculus class while understanding pretty much nothing as always,sometimes I wonder why I chose a fucking career in IT if I'm a fucking retard when it comes to math,but then I remember,I only go to university to avoid work and to keep my parents off my ass for some time,I know I'm destined for some shitty job at walmart or similar (I wonder how many people with degrees work as cashiers at walmart,maybe I'll be the first one if I manage to pass this shit lol) I don't really care though,I've always lived without a lot of material cravings,as long as I have a roof,a videogame console and games I'm set for life.

But still it makes me kinda sad that this shitty world expects you to do lots of shit and know lots and lots of garbage in order to survive decently,this is way too fucked up.

 No.220785

>>220553
>>220551
Yes, that's me it is selfish because you hold them back unless you have confidence in what you're doing and have mastered it otherwise you're drag and will get yelled at being a net drain, once you're comfortable being that way its hard to change.

 No.221748

I love you, wizzies.

 No.221792



[Last 50 Posts]

File: 1591349602069.jpg (21.97 KB, 236x320, 59:80, 1582447040493.jpg) ImgOps iqdb

 No.221601[Reply]

I want to believe that my negative view of my self and the world is wrong, but it just keeps getting proven right over and over again.
4 posts and 2 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

 No.221670

>>221669
Really, as a wageslave you have no other choice. Self mastery is not for many people, it requires tons of discipline, good upbringing, money, mental dispositions etc. Most people are destined to become wageslaves, and accepting this is the only way to live a decent life. Life still sucks but living a livable life is still better than getting lost in cognitive dissonance.

 No.221673

LDAR is the way

 No.221675

>>221670
I can't survive wageslaving full time. I've had a half dozen different jobs and couldn't eat healthy or get enough sleep or focus on my hobbies. Just work then go home with a headache, try to eat something, sit anxiously and wait for the next day. I have autism spectrum disorder and am sensitive to things like like bright lights and loud noises that you find in most low skill workplaces. Most jobs also give only 30 minutes for lunch break and there is nowhere in the area to get healthy food, and there is limited time and energy to do exercises after a full day of work and commute etc. I need to do exercises and eat healthy foods and get proper sleep or my depression gets really bad and I start to feel like my body is covered in heavy weights and everyday tasks become very difficult.

I have discipline in some areas of my life but I feel strongly that I need to figure out a way to not work or at least survive with a part time job that only works a few hours per week. It's hard to focus on learning to create things, and I realized that so many things in my environment like video games, media, most foods, etc are there because they were designed to be addictive and unhealthy so other predatory people could profit. I just need to get enough discipline to learn how to make things of my own that people will buy and I can then live without the stress of work or living with parents who constantly fight and scream and shout and throw things around the house.


I've also tried to take the spiritual path and practice things like yoga and meditation to reduce suffering but they have had a limited effect for me, so I don't think the spiritual path of life suits my temperament. It feels like my fate is probably suicide.

 No.221678

>>221675
You sound kind of hopeful still. Maybe you can find a way to make use of your remaining discipline and find an interest in a creative hobby which you then can use to make something others would pay for. Without an honest interest in the process I don't think this is possible, at least not if it is done by yourself instead of a job routine. Many wizards here have a hard time to develop an interest. Personally I think every more advanced, output and not consuming oriented interest, requires work and effort. The self imposed work part never really fades especially if you want to make money with it, but it also needs to be accompanied by a genuine interest. These two things go in hand in hand. No learning without forcing yourself to keep going, no interest in the process without learning. Good luck.

 No.221774

>>221653
He might have put his own theory to good use and lives a life without wizchan now. However that turned out for him.



  [Go to top]   [Catalog]
Delete Post [ ]
[1] [2] [3] [4] [5] [6] [7] [8] [9] [10]
[ Home ] [ wiz / dep / hob / lounge / jp / meta / games / music ] [ all ] [  Rules ] [  FAQ ] [  Search /  History ] [  Textboard ] [  Wiki ]