/dep/ - Depression

>>301220
Yeah tell that to a veteran

>>301221
I would, because it stands. Even effeminate boys get drafted in to wars. Those who can't endure the natural, bloody human experience are not fit for survival. You can feel bad that these soft guys were thrown in to a situation that could break them permanently, but nobody should have to tolerate those who allow their fears for something no longer happening control them.

War scared you? Sorry to hear. You're going to keep making it everyone else's problem even though the war is over? Eat dirt. If they didn't get the veteran status from being in a war, they'd be just another panicky oddball hyperventilating after being pulled over for speeding. And then we get to here, where guys who DIDN'T experience any of life's less fashionable aspects are having "panic attacks" over nothing, because they were never taught that it's not OK to let your irrational fears weigh down on you and others. Perma waah-waaah tantrum babies. I kick them.

>>301223
I appreciate your effort to make wizzies ‘man up’ and all but the reality of things is the horror created by our own mind, not by external observations. In other words there needs to be no war to experience ptsd symptoms. I agree that these words are used inflationary still the case stands that the symptoms subjectively are very real.

>>301223
>>301226
The thing about PTSD is that it is a stress disorder, which was induced by trauma, not a consistent trauma effect. The trauma is important in that there are associations related to the trauma that can inspire the stress response. Anxiety disorders and other stress disorders can also have traumatic connections but the origin does matter. But stress happens at a very measurable biochemical level with very reproducible effects and it's a little unusual to expect a large oversized chemical process to have only safe and socially tolerable results. Overresponsive stress systems are more like realizing that a particular person loses their coordination and response time at a much lower BAC and should not be permitted even one beer before a drive.

It is true that the standard hormonal stress response is in real life very much sex dependent, for neurotypicals. This is because it is related to the production of cortisol and to androgens. The female body is much more prone to conditioning towards PTSD for ultimately glanular reasons. There are neurotypes that do not have a conditionable stress response at all, partiuclarly psychopaths. Psychopaths tend to drown out any limited stress cortisol with various androgen hormones and this is the primary reason their disinhibition makes them so impulsive and so different from the other empathy-deficit disorders. This is one of the explanations for how a stress disorder can also imitate psychopathy by essentially shorting out the stress response cycle, making it fire everything at once and having a stress-depleted response afterwards. Because this creates a different pattern of criminal behavior this has a special designation in forensic psychology, "secondary psychopathy." More popularly referred to as sociopathy by virtue of appearing to be socially conditioned rather than innate. Sociopaths are far more violent than innate psychopaths and it might be because of this push and pull between the cortisonal and androgenic response systems. Then again it might just be because where psychopaths lack a conscience, sociopaths have a conscience and it is that conscience that is telling them that they are required to do harm to others. Like that old saying about false righteousness being worse than unrighteoPost too long. Click here to view the full text.

>>301223
not quite


PTSD has that "couldnt do shit about it" part. A truck driver may get PTSD over mines risk

I believe that if your solution to The Life Question is to:
- Wait 2+ years
- Travel to a foreign land
- Succeed the bureaucracy of becoming a resident
- Coordinate with doctors and psychiatrists
- Wait however many years for an appointment to sit in a hospital and get poked with a death needle
Then maybe you don't really want to die. You could not have chosen a more drawn-out and tiresome means to an end. Plus it's not something you're allowed tom do on your own. Any Canadian self-murder services predating MAIDs required co-signers - someone who agrees to be responsible for responsibly disposing of your carcass. As a permanent resident you won't qualify for the kind of life insurances that will cover such an expense.

Involuntary "natural" death sounds hellish, I don't get why normies don't make euthanasia as a priority, everyone will die

>>301858
You see, not everyone was done thinking all by themselves, whether one's consciousness just halts at the very moment of dying… FOREVER.

>>301262
Lemme guess. Your sleep schedule is a mess, you have a cheap bed or none (a.k.a. sleeping on a coach); you have no blackout curtains and no background noise to hum out the small noises in the night.


Well… You may or may not have additional" factors that render a decent drug useless.

>>301789
This was all true except now at my parents place I have an awesome bed

And it is dark and quiet enough here.

It's way better.

But.

My boss is back from leave and making me feel like shit again.
This job has rare qualities: remote, low effort, high pay, low interaction, secure, and prestigious. I’d be throwing away a dream job.

As for thinking I need to quit to focus on therapy or medication: that’s not true. When I was not working, I found I don't get healthier. I don’t eat better, exercise more, or feel less anxious. I just stress about different things — including future jobs, financial security, family and community perception and relationship prospects as a result of my job.
i am actually more productive in ny life outside work when I've worked that day it seems or worked during weekday if it's weekend, so not only a mental health boost but productivity.

That said, if the working conditions are too harsh for me, I still have to quit if I can't find a resolution, whatever the consequences.

The meds (I'm OP) are still keeping me from feeling too suicidal tho. Worth it. Still depressed tho.

hold on


so you used to consume SSRIs…

…without consuming serotonin precursors?

Well… You could use some 10$ box of L-carnitine



also, try fixing your diet (how? See "Dr. Berg" channel)

>>301848
ooh.

glad to hear the "better" part, comrade


I used to be somewhere in the /dep/ zone too. Never showed up at local schrink's since my maternal brother is a certified schizo (so they would pretty much misdiagnose me as yet another schizo as well)

>>301848
>My boss is back from leave and making me feel like shit again.


I wonder if you and your boss have different ethnicities, so you pretty much could try and "fake it till you make it" to be into boss' culture?

>>301594
Wizfren are you still with us?? I can't find the obituary

>>301883
He might not be a wiz after all

Looks like he really did 404 though
https://www.youtube.com/live/SQFA7R4EZ3w

if youre gonna die anyway might as well do psychedelics

>>301889
I feel a strange sense of warmth and connection with the ACK victim whenever they actually succeed and I can find their details online. Staring at Liam's experiences at his previous schools/universities and connecting it to his successful ACK is like watching an ethereal portal open up right in front of you, giving you to an opportunity escape this world. It makes me shut out all of the external sensory stimuli around me, as if I'm in a dreamy trance state.

https://thehofstrachronicle.com/75146/features/2019-10-29-the-wizarding-world-of-hofstra-university

>>300268
how's your sleep?
i imagine you have a lot of sleep issues with chronic headaches not to mention how it will hinder your functionality at school/work

>>300270
My chronic headaches appear few times per day, but if I close my eyes for a while a headache would disappear, so sleep is not a problem for me.

Before AI existed I tried to google my problem, but there were no specific informations about that, but only texts - ,,laser pointer in few seconds can make pernament damage", but no one exactly discribed, what ,,pernament eye damage" means.

I also never went to eye doctor to ask, because from my experiences doctors can sometimes be assholes.

In a just world, you would've lawyered up.

>>300268
>But it made my realise, in life nothing is sure, and bad things happens everywhere, you ll be in bad place at bad time and you can lost your health, etc.
Wow, how profound

One time doing laser work I accidentially glanced at a blue-ray laser diode. I saw it through a piece of beam blocking paper I made that had a large circle in the middle at beam height. When I looked away I started seeing that same circle and square shape where ever I looked. I was so terrified but the image eventually faded.

Generally any damage to your retina can be compensated by your brain reprocessing the image. However things like floaters make it difficult because they don't track with your eye movements.

The only really dangerous things is if you start seeing black blotches at the edge of your eye sight slowly growing inwards. These mean your retina is detaching and you have 24 hours to get surgery before permanently losing your eyesight.

>>297544
Social skills and confidence which also correlate are the main points. Without social skills you can't even pursue things like art properly except for the obvious parts that just require creative skill but you will still end up stuck if you don't have the social abilities even with talent and potential on your side.

Its also a good point that this is not about succubi or other noise that doesn't matter. Socializing will always be pointless but having social abilities is still very important because it's about way more than having a good time.

You don't even need to be very social or crazy likeable, you just need to be able to navigate socially. You can even be quiet or reserved to get along in life socially but what you can't be is weird, autistic, insecure or too shut off/in. A lot of guys make the mistake of thinking that they are just quiet when in all actuality they are completely socially retarded while actual quiet guys don't even have social issues and are able to navigate and understand things.

A whole lot of this correlates with confidence, if you are insecure and lack confidence then every social interaction will be unbearable and you will never improve socially even if you expose yourself to situations. Confidence is a whole different chapter however.

>>297542
I've been trying to improooooove myself for years. Never got anywhere. Self-improvement is mostly a myth. It's a nice fantasy we tell ourselves to

1.) Make us feel better about our accomplishments. I did it! it was ME. circumstances didn't work in my favor
2.) Make us not have to feel bad for the suffering of others. They didn't get unlucky and I lucky. They just didn't improooooove!

>>301689
>Most drug free people are obese coomers, vain social media narcissists or gymfags that exert themselves into exhaustion regularly.
Drug habits are just in plain sight and often carry the risk of fucking people up fast but I guess it's safe to say that most people struggle with something such as stimulation addiction, narcissistic brain farts or a dependency on validation. Some of the most fucked up people I witnessed are straight edge and don't even watch porn but they get all depressed if they can't put someone else down or if they don't get attention.

Its also too obvious now that a shitload of 'regular' people have a massive social media and scrolling addiction on top of their fucked up dopamine receptors.

It's really easy to fall into some kind of trap indeed. Doesn't even matter where you are, even third worlders in the most retarded places are scrolling through TikTok all day.

>>301694
Self improvement works to a certain extent but only if its focused on fixing and maintaining. Most self improvement stuff is just fluff but you can definitely improve your life by getting healthier and fit or by cutting out bad influences from your life. Its not rocket science but a lot of people want to become a completely different human being instead of trying to take control of whats in their hands.

Then there's also the retards who start taking TRT for no good reason just because people on the internet told them it's a fix for everything.

>>301695
I think everyone without children cope in better or worse ways. Like you cant believe The amount of 30 yr old normies with less than 5k to their name "just gotta get rich" with a straight face

People with children just care about their family and this is normal and healthy

>>301807
This is it. Financial dependence is the worst kind of dependence. If someone has leverage over you then they are going to exploit it.
>>301805
>>301806
Your only options are to find some way to make money, honestly, there's a saying in my language which translates roughly to better eat one meal a day of respect than three meals of disrespect.

Sadly, I am in the same position in an extremely low income country where I am unable to get any jobs. I wish I could and that would improve my life dramatically. But at this point I am kind of used to the abuses my parents hurl at me. Or maybe I guess not cause they still hurt.

I just found out that my birth was compicated: I had a brain hemorrhage and asphyxia, and I almost died.
It all checks out. I'm a wiz because I got brain damage since birth.
Anyone here has a history of complicated birth or infancy? I think more of us are brain damaged than we think and it contributed to out mental struggles.

>>301825
>I'm a wiz because I got brain damage since birth.
You chose to not have sex because of something you didn't even know happened until now? What?

I at the point where I don't derive any joy from existing. Get up got to work, go home and get 6 hours of free time to try and mentally escape which is impossible when nothing is worth it. Beat video game, nothing happens. finish reading a book, nothing happens. Make art…cook…on and on. Nothing is going to somehow magically catapult my life trajectory somewhere better.

>>301825
Well, I was born into a narcissist's second family as a project to fix all the mistakes from the first family, was molested as a kid, got hit in the head by a soccer ball (never played the damn sport) and woke up on concrete to half the class around me
This was the last time people paid attention to me in those numbers and I was 8 years old

>>301490
Brother I'm not a debugging output, I'm a self-aware being just like you. Atheism only means that there is no god, nothing worthy of praise, a creator can still exist within atheism but he would not be a god.

>>301512
The point was not that you or myself are not self-aware. I know that I am self-aware, and I assume (without proof) that others are self-aware because it would be difficult to go about my life otherwise. The point I was trying to make was that this self-awareness may not be anything more than a debugging output whereby the body can experience what is going on "under the hood" as it goes about its business. It may simply be a byproduct of how the mind operates rather than the actual process of operation itself. By attempting to dissociate from this debugging output, one can experience relief from the suffering caused by our subjective interpretation of this degugging output (this is the essence of Buddhist beliefs as I understands them).

As for your point about atheism, this is more of a semantics debate but if you are willing to concede that some creator may or may not exist but that he would not be a god that should be worshipped then I agree with you.

>>301514
how do you know there's anything "under the hood" and that, if there is such a thing, it's something utterly different from what you call your (self) awareness or mind?

>>301522
I may not have elucidated what I mean by "under the hood" very well. I was simply referring to subconscious processes which are carried out regardless of whether or not the self is aware of them. It is obvious that many biological functions are entirely subconscious and cannot be directly controlled by conscious thought like the rate at which the heart beats. It may be possibly to indirectly control this to some extent but I will get to that shortly. Going back to the topic of subconscious processes, even things that are normally thought of as deliberate actions are subconscious to some extent. As I type this, my mind somehow knows where every key is located on the keyboard and I can type this out without looking at the keyboard and deliberately moving each finger over every letter. I know the order of the letters of the first row of a QWERTY keyboard and can retrieve that knowledge at will. I do not, however, consciously know where all the letters are but I can retrieve them in a roundabout manner by imagining that I am typing something out. For instance, if I wanted to know where the letter 'X' was, I could imagine typing out the word "Xylophone" and seeing where my fingers want to go (bottom row, left side). If I wanted to consciously exert some control over my heartbeat, I can change my breathing or think of things that would normally make me frightened or anxious to increase the rate at which my heart beats. I cannot, however, directly control my heartbeat. There is some kind of process going on under the hood that automatically responds to stimuli and causes physical changes in my body and this occurs regardless of whether or not it is deliberately induced. This occurs at higher levels than core biological functions. Note how people respond to hearing certain words or phrases. Are they deliberately and consciously changing their facial expressions and body language? Obviously not.

So the question is not whether or not there is anything going on under the hood, but to what extent the biological machine that is the human body is controlled by processes that the self or consciousness that one identifies with is unaware of or is aware of but cannot control directly (processes that are going on "under the hood").

>>301426
I want to die with the belief Ill go back in time and live my life again, this time with knowledge of stocks and bitcoin.

>>298379
I can't drive at all and yes It imprisons you in your home. No one gets my disability so no one cares. Just do it bro. That's what I've been told my entire life. Just doooo ittt it's so easy why isn't everything as easy to you as it is to me???

>>301734
I cant drive too probably a good thing i would probably cause accidents with how clumsy i am. Normies dont really care about the disabled they have this weird system where they dont care and simultanously want you to believe they do care. Like schrodingers cat from quantum mechanics

[8:45 PM]
Thought craving opiates would eventually go away, never fucking does.
[8:46 PM]
Reality is gay, just wanna nod off.

I have chronic lowback pain for sitting 12-16 hours a day, It's not for having a job that requires me to stay sit but for playing fucking videogames all day every moment I try to some exercise I just quit, I don't think I will survive past my 20s years if I still live that way

Dug out an ingrown toenail a few weeks ago that looked pretty bad and I think I have an infection on my toe, I've been showering and washing it daily and dousing it in antiseptic and wearing socks but I'm worried that I'll have to go to the doctor, which I haven't been to in a long time.

>>301410
you can post in the pro-suicide thread, then.

>>301430
I would say, easily yes. Especially when you receive disability assistance on top of the 1k pension.

Just stay at home for a year and you'll have 12000 dollars to travel with. Then travel, and go back home, save a few thousand and travel again.

Seems like a dream life to me. I don't need 5 star hotels and first class flights so I could probably explore the entire planet given your situation, and still do it in comfort and with tasty foods.

>>301691
Why would I travel if there are normies everywhere

>>301711
this is a good point…and i have traveled.

bump locked??