/dep/ - Depression

So be cruel to them, never fucking help them. I'm so fucking tired of normalfags trying to use me as a resource. The only thing I will ever give them now is my raw contempt.

I’m genuinely extremely surprised I went as far as I did “straight edge” the point of considering becoming an hero before even considering touching narcotics for the first time, not even weed or hash.
I suppose I might have arrogantly thought that my issues would overshadow the effect of the drugs as I’m fully aware thoughout the experience that no problem is actually being solved in my life and that I because of that would not enjoy it.
I were very wrong. While I of course know with every fiber of my being that it’s not “real” that feeling of everything being alright and like a load lifted off my shoulders for the first time in a decade was unlike anything else. I can see how people could end up like crack whores or heroin junkies now.
Any other wizards chocked by how long they went straight edge? What made you turn away from that? How was your experience like and what did you do?

A thread for those experiencing chronic everyday pain, what is it like, how do you feel, and how have you come to accept the innate suffering of being alive?


I am 25 years old, working a part time warehouse job, not heavy lifting just very repetitive crouching/squatting, A year ago, one day I suddenly with no warning began to feel a pressure that would build in my upper back between my shoulder blades, not particularly painful, but very tense and stiff in my muscles, noticeable and very uncomfortable. No amount of stretching alleviates it once I start work and moving my body. I am in agony every single day.

5pm-6pm I work cautiously, fearing the pain I will for certain endure in the coming hours all the whilst feeling the slight muscle stiffness that indicates the pain is just coming.

6pm-7pm The pain is in the mid-phase, at this moment I am trying everything I can think of to alleviate it, I change the pace of my walking in hopes that going slower will lessen the stress on my back, I walk and move more rapidly, more loosely in hopes that I can push through and ignore the pain through sheer concentration on my work foremost. I alter the different methods I use to bend down: squats, lunges, going on one knee, bending sideways. Nothing works for long and anything I do for too long just makes the pain flare up.

7pm-8pm, My mind goes to the time, If I can just get to 8pm I think to myself I only have to endure one more hour, at this point I can't do anything about the pain in my spine and all over my back now, I must endure it whatever level it has reached now, no matter what I have done successfully or not to mitigate it via my movements.

8pm-9pm finish, starting from 8pm I must use some sort of pain relief, deep heat only lasts for an hour at the very best, I save using painkillers for only the worst times. I do not want to make it a habit of taking them too frequently for fear they will lose effectiveness when I really need it as well as the fear that by not being able to actually feel the pain I'll be doing more damage to my body without realising it. 9pm finally comes, although my work constantly asks for overtime, I make it known I cannot do it. How long they will accept my broken and decaying body is uncertain, I used to be the best worker they had, the fastest, most reliable for overtime. Now I am useless, The flame that burns twice as bright lasts only half as long.


I go home, my back paiPost too long. Click here to view the full text.

If you know anything about the next generation and there similarity to ours you’ll know most of them aren’t having anywhere near as much sex drugs and whatever the fuck boomer highschool movies show teens doing.
In real life your seeing teenagers with jobs, spending all their time either labouring or studying for entrance exams more and more than the grade after them had to while admission averages tend to inflate as time passes more and more since they get more desperate for a chance at not being homeless. And that’s just the beginning then you gotta put up with the cost of well every nonconsumer thing, like health insurance housing utilities you get the fucking point that can cost like fucking 92k if your in a developed country everywhere else it’s even more expensive.

What you get is a generation of obviously overstressed teenagers that barely understand how sex works or anything about life in general piling up more and more grades, degrees, internships, taking on whatever jobs they can find and saving whatever they can pointlessly before it’s all anihillated by whatever new stupid and likely self inflicted economic crisis decides to hit or simple shit like inflation and then it doesn’t become a surprise to anyone why constant reports of mass freak outs, workers finally realizing how disposable they actually are and resigning in mass and millions of reported stress based deaths and injuries keep rolling out every year. When’s the breaking point in such a planet gonna hit and finally kill such on obviously parasitic cycle, ffs your hearing countries like Japan China and the USA try forcing population increases but not fix the way they treat both their experienced and their newest generations and unsurprisingly their economies start eroding more and more yet no one in charge gives enough of a shit to do something that involves actual change

I had always felt like an other online but it wasn't until 2017+ and especially the past two years I feel old online.

It seems as if my fellow netizens all vanished and everyone is a teenager or talks like one. I do not socialize but when viewing comments on youtube or on other websites including sadly here I will notice strange use of language that is similar to baby babbling and doesn ot express more than a single idea.
>finna mad cap
For example is repeatedly posted on the interweb and I do not understand what any of it means.

I am unsure if age is entirely a factor and it could be the isolation that causes this feeling of being out of touch because I have stumbled across older people talking on reddit getting along fine.

People do not seem to want to have discussions anymore online and instead post a meme or use a few words to express themselves.

I cannot be the only one who is experiencing this phenomenon.
I think social media is the cause because a lot of us have been terminally online for decade(s).

I didn’t think crabdom or what you see about guys like me in the media was actually accurate or could exist. I just thought I was slow or something compared to most normal adults around me only to come to the realization that I’m lonely, boring as shit and would be considered mentally I’ll by the average person and afraid of sex.

I feel like a failure at everything, I still don’t have a liscense despite how much I fucking despise driving due to the amount of retards on the road, I’m still unemployed and the only thing I have left is some random degree while my family is gone to god knows where and I live by myself. I’m fucking terrible

I was thinking maybe the reason why I feel so miserable all the time is actually because everybody else seems so cold, detached, unfeeling. Automatons. Sometimes even passive-aggressive, or antagonistic.
Maybe I just never grew up, and I could never deal with the fact that "life is unfair" and other people are naturally not going to care about you anymore. I can always change myself (little by little I'm trying) but I can never change other people or the world around me. Am I just delusional? Is it all in my head? I can't find any peace.

Post here when you don't have enough to say for a topic and it's too depressing for the general crawl thread.

I want to die but I don't have the courage to do it

Sometimes I think about buying a one way ticket to sweden and getting euthanized. I could go through with it if it was painless and like going to sleep.

I can't find any information on sites that list other serious markets for interesting things. How am I supposed to find the .onion of interesting sites?