/dep/ - Depression

>>305403
Can I ask what job you're doing now? I think the best we can do is try to find something that isn't so bad and lower our standards of living so we can have more free time. I had 1 year of working nightshift at my job, it was bliss but under new management I'm now forced to interact with customers during peak hours and drive in horrible traffic. I thought I appreciated what I had, I didn't appreciate it enough. Sadly good jobs are disappearing these days with the advent of these eager slaves willing to break backs for peanuts. When I first entered the work force they would joke about how half of my day I was free to "look busy" and do my own thing. Now you can't even take a 5 second break after pulling a 2 ton pallet with a broken trolley without being yelled at and written up. We are worked like those slave egypt had

>>305366
working out is pathetic, and for 50 IQ imbeciles, OP is moaning about not having free time and you suggest to waste even more time in a shallow retarded meaningless hobby that only gets you body dysmorphia

>>305362
I'm 36 and been NEET all my life and to me its a mystery how people even manage to get jobs to begin with.
back in highschool all my classmates somehow had university and apprenticeship and jobs lined up for them but I had nothing, then people told me I have to send my CV to places which I did but everytime I got a rejection or an interview where they already decided to reject me because there are apparently 5 billion other people lined up for the job.
I been signed up to countless job programs at the local job center and none of this shit has ever yielded me a proper job so all I did was sit around listening to some twat explaining how to write a CV or doing a warehouse wagecuck job while getting paid less than half what a real warehouse wagecuck gets.
I even volunteered for the Military and they told me to get lost.

Do you get the neexbux though? Schizobux, maybe?

>>305408
>I even volunteered for the Military and they told me to get lost.
How the fuck do you even get denied a military job? Even if you're a fat fuck they should give you some desk assignment or an in-base driver's gig.

>>304486
i enjoy doing drugs
i enjoy playing games a lot too
but i do not really enjoy where this lifestyle carries me
when weeks turn into months and months into years
and i realize i smoked so much of it away while feeling anxious and lonely, or i get sick of a game and the rank I worked so hard for doesn't even mean anything to me anymore once I uninstall.

i miss how easy it felt when I was part of a cohort of students or coworkers. Being disconnected from it for years now I don't know how I can ever re-integrate and find meaning in society again

or how do I forget all that and find meaning in an endless video game drug binge? That one i've tried and it can't really be done long term so I just feel like I'm at the end of the road and need to make a change

quitting weed will be a start i guess

>college
>solid employment for many years

Been there, did not work out at all, had to take a "warehouse worker" position.

Get a hobby. It's as simple as that, something to keep your mind focused and something that will take up time. Read, exercise, write a game design doc, learn a trade, anything is better than doing nothing and doing pot. What's the difference between it and just drinking yourself into a stupor? Both are equally pathetic. You don't have to stop smoking(or drinking), but you have to find something else to do with your time. A normalfag would go out and socialize and have sex or something, but well, you got to find an alternative.

>>305419
>You don't have to stop smoking(or drinking)
thanks for not going judgemental
>but well, you got to find an alternative
As a person whos been hinting everyone here to get cozy - second this

>>305420
If by "alternative" you mean porn, then no. That shit is just as damaging to your mental health as drugs or alcohol, coomers are absolutely pathetic. Being a wizard is about not falling for temptations of simple pleasures, be it flesh or otherwise, at least the way I see it, when I say "alternatives" I definitely mean finding something actually productive. Find a way to get /fit/ or at least get rich, make that game you always wanted to play or write that book you've been throwing around in your head, that sort of thing. Starting out is always the hardest part, you would be surprised just how easy things get once you get going with anything.

>>304061
>I'm tired of people being ugly to each other. I'm tired of all the pain I feel and hear in the world… every day. There's too much of it. It's like pieces of glass in my head… all the time. Can you understand?
Camaraderie and friendship still exist. You're always going to end up with weird, problematic, shy, avoidant, or very inadequate friends anyone is perfect. And more than one person just wants validation and acceptance, even with their problems.
You can be better than this every day by being exemplary, but exemplary means setting an example, not just being perfect.
>Also
I'm tired of being tired and defeatist.
Read Prometheus rising. Do the exercises thank me later.
Exercise, get some sun before 10 a.m., drink water, sleep well, stop listening to trashy indie sad pop music, and listen to adrenaline-pumping music or old cheerful music, and don't pay attention to the shit news.
>the thing
If you think there's a Machiavellian plan to exterminate humanity, just think that the group conspiring against them are your friends, and that's the mindset of a winner.
And dont be a asshole, become an unstoppable and immovable force of nature, kindness and humanity.
every day, in every form you will become great and more great at everything. And this is the way to a humanizing process ,called life, and some people now believe that life is a rush race and die fast, take it slowly, repeat every day, make it often.
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=Z7BByo2V-HA&list=RDZ7BByo2V-HA&start_radio=1&pp=ygUqV0FSTklORyAtIE1DIE9SU0VOIChTUEVFRCBVUCkgRVhURU5ERUQgTUlYoAcB

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=bRHb99evKU4&list=RDbRHPost too long. Click here to view the full text.

The logical end for humanity is extinction.

I used to feel like this
now I just want to die
I feel like I just wanted to be left alone but the normies are hellbent on making everything as miserable as possible
personal failure exists but this isn't how my life went
tbh when I read other posts here some people cope by ascribing their misery on personal failure and not the intentional harm others did to them
I plan on hanging myself soon

>>304081
Don't do it anon. Please. stay for somebody you love, or atleast stay for me. i'll talk to you if you want and drop the @.

I've been like you and yearning love and approval. which lead me to many desolate places most of you will not enter without a gun. Yet im still here. ive been plagued by addictions since childhood yet im still working on it. Ive been ghosted by 10+ friends over the years yet im still out in the field. Best you can do is see the cards lying ahead of you and bide your time before you draw.

>>304067
define "human"

Different civilizations went extinct, but the DNA kept shuffling again and again.

Tried to befriend a person. He would not listen to me at all. Friendship - screw him

Well, yeah, a lot of schoolboys used to bully me (of course they would bully a fatherless person who's too tall, they would call me "second yearer" and such.)

Good thing those bully twins aren't in my town anymore. I assume they had to move to Siberia to work some plant job…

>>304195
Basically, when Im bored and have to focus, I remeber those stinky working-class (cook's kids?) retarded kids who couldn't handle 4th grade curriculum yet had the brainz to leave a fuckton of emotional markings in my mind. I suppose they live the life I expected thm to live - gatherting scraps ant some kitchen job, "trying to survive", "it's not us being ass, it's life being ass" stuff…

>>300350
I can't really form what I feel into anything coherent anymore. It's just a misshapen undefinable amalgam.
Maybe because if it gets defined it'll be the day I've settled for suicide

I had an insight last night

see, in the "Metal slug (???number???)"'s final, the outro sequence outro, you see a guy lauching a paper plane. Said plane flies throughout all cleared levels showing some people mourninv over, well, the mooks who got killed by the playable characters..

And in the end this plane flies towards the night sky, turning into a little innocent star in the sky.

E N D

I remembered this scene.

"Maybe this is all what I wanted to be all along", I thought last night. "A little… innocent… star in the sky…" (and then it rained)

>>305009
That's just how old succubi talk

>>305011
I accidentally started to respect my mother thanks to you reply: my mother is a certified master of the art of "old succubi talk".


Feels good to know she's a pro at some "normal thingy".

>>305011
>>305013

thanks to your reply. (Sorry, a phoneposter's typo)


Happy New 2026 Year!

Wizard, warlocks, robots, failed normies, normies, chads, tyrones, simps, ALL THE MEMES can all agree

succubi.

>>305013
guess I should buy her something.


I feel so much shame I think at least 1 of my complexes stems from still not getting her a new extension cord + TV antenna (telly), a new hole in the wall (mirror), a small player (telly - VCR)

hold on. I did.
I got a new bed for me mum.

>>299368
>How do you guys deal with fatigue, if at all.
"Shall live and die by the fuck you". If providence wants me to be a slave OK I couldn't care less. I can't seem to comprehend how the fuck I am supposed to do anything when I basically have two options
1. Wake up late and be sleepy all day
2. Wake up early and be miserable all day
I have realized that the amount sleep doesn't matter. I'm just fucked up by the Gods themselves. Days when I feel acceptably well happen as often as you find a pattern in white noise.

>>299368

OK, so, I am going to spill some *seemingly offtopic* idea: try optimizing your sleeping station.
Reasoning is that… so you *could* - *probably*, at least - get higher quality sleep, by not aching while sleeping.
PROFIT: you will recharge better for the same sleeping time.

CONTEXT: I mean, sleeping on trashy bed >>> bad sleep despite "proper" hours of sleep >>> fatigue… >>> errors

Details: well, it happened to me! Twice or even "thrice"!

1. I had a too warm blanket. A wool blanket, "normal" for an old house, was too warm for me in our brand new heat-insulated apartment. I bought a cotton blanket - half the insulation - for 20$ or so recently and woke up so well-rested I remeber thinking "and… how come no one have told me this before?!?!"
2. I got a cool matress this year! Slapped it atop my cheap "sofa bed" with a huge crack (two 200x70 sleeping cusions, but not a single 200x140) My back finally stpped aching.

3. Also, I got a good big pillow (I am a big person, as in both tall and fat)
Without it, I have a harder time sleeping

4. AC in the summer. (Or a dehumidifier and a bunch of spare water bottles, at least… not sure if that's a good idea though)

5. Get a set of disposeable nose expanders to see if your sleep improves. If it does, well, check yourself for "Sleep apnea" stuff. REASON: What if you *need* a CPAP mask but you don't know about it yet?

The solution is getting diagnosed for adhd and getting precscribed stimulants. If you can control to urge to binge them, and take them as prescribed - it is LIFE CHANGING

>>304372
>1. Wake up late and be sleepy all day
>2. Wake up early and be miserable all day
>I have realized that the amount sleep doesn't matter


sounds like the issue I had before I upgraded my bedroom.


You should try:
1. a better matress
2. a better pillow
3. air humidifier?
4. vitamins
5. eating less, wear something to tighten your belly (spandex?) to trick your belly into thinking its still full…

I mean, I used to be even fatter than I am now. Nowadays, I feel less problems…

>>305356
Please stop taking them before you lose your mind, read horror stories about these psych drugs, you will find plenty of material

>>305357
>where do you live?
Let's say I'm a thirdie
>how old are you?
Old enough
>why can't you just btfo your parents?
No, can't do. I live with my parents, their house, their rules.
>e.g. how the hell could you be prescribed antipsychotics while being "healthy"?
That's what I'm asking. Am I healthy?
were you even evaluated?
I was, but they are not sharing the results
>and why are your parents not explaining anything?
That's what I'd like to know too.

>>305363
R.I.P.

>>305356
>Wizardly schizos, I need your input.
I was dragged to a shrink by my family and he prescribed me some injections, then Abilify 30 mg. He said I'm healthy, but need to deal with my depression.
But I've read that Abilify 30 mg is a lot for depression. What gives?


1. "Horse dose", e.g. A LOT pre-emptively
2. Shock therapy?

3. The meme answer: he gets paid for prescribing LOTS of meds so he hands out meds like candies

>>305387
4. maybe your body is "tolerant" e.g. insensitive to drugs?

5. ur wizard, so giving you A LOT of Abilify wont put you into the "that feel when no gf" pool…

6. you're probably a 300lbs big dude so you probably need more VERSUS your sources hint at "normal average person" with under-40kg people and maybe schoolers included

>>302846
>>303759
Now, whom should I listen to?

I used Discord for six consecutive years, and this experience helped me make the only friend I’ve had in my whole life. We will complete six years of friendship in September this year. (Like many boys at a young age, I was bullied, and that messed up my social interactions.)

Maybe you don’t need to join a Discord server to make friends, but you can look for online games that make you interact with people and invite someone to a voice call. If this person is very communicative, he will introduce you to his friends, and “friendship” will become something you build every day. Obviously, everyone has their own limit when it comes to talking to a new person, so it’s natural to have moments of silence.

Friendship is something you need in life. Just one is enough, but it has to be solid.

I have this problem, but I like to think my problem more than being "nervous to talk to anyone and make friends" is that im too adhd, or plainly lazy and dumb, to develop the routine needed to make friends. Thats how it works, no? At least when youre old, and thats the thing, once youre old youre set in your ways, if your ways were those of solitude *and* complacence in solitude, then well, youre kinda truly permafucked in that department. Your brain cannot register new people in your life thus no friends.

And yet it hurts, it hurts so much watching others make connections and friends. But perhaps it is not exactly that what hurts me, but rather the passage of time (completely in vain in my specific case), approaching death with absolutely nothing and no one to show for it.

Oddly I think I make good first impressions, but never goes beyond that because cannot be fucked to care about myself let alone others.

>>301328
Also this

>>301482
>usually about exchanging attention, validation and things like that but if you lack that drive then you won't see the point in it either.
In other words they become energized from socializing while you and I become drained. Its a losing battle.

>The key might be to just find drive in solitude without becoming a rabid consumer or mentally crippled loner, find whatever you're craving in yourself and not other people. 99% of social stuff is just vapor and noise anyway.
Kinda true but again, like it or not socializing expands a groups borders. So your hobby or whatever, will eventually become engulfed by this social monster.

>>302451
>4chong
>succesful
Excuse me what? Do you really believe this? 4chan at this point is a bunch of schizophrenic cliqueish terminally online faggots spamming the same threads 24/7. Literally. Im not being hyperbolic here, its literally the same fucking 100~ people talking to themselves, with 10 of them making 90% of the posts. Why do you think they removed the IP counter?
Post too long. Click here to view the full text.

>>301659
IRL people are too judgemental. The consequences for acting like a sperg or violating social norms IRL are too high. I prefer the internet where the consequences for fucking up social interactions are minimal.

>>305336
Hey, anon.

I don’t see a problem with sharing my experience with my only friend and how I see this world.

My friendship with him started in September 2020. I was 17, and he was 19.

I met him on a Discord server after he sent a message saying, “Today feels like a day I could put a knife to my neck,” right in the middle of a chat full of dumb jokes about school and love. When I read that, I just replied:
“Hey man, if you want to talk, send me a message. Some feelings hit harder because everything is still too recent, and it’s hard to see things clearly when you’re desperate.”

After that, we started talking about the usual stuff — anime, games, music, and things like that.

Over the years, our contact slowly faded. In a month, we exchange maybe five to twenty messages. Just enough to know if the other one is still alive or doing okay. For most people, this would mean “the friendship is over,” because there’s no real conversation anymore. But I don’t believe that. Friendships don’t die just because they change. They die when both people stop caring that the other exists.

Right now, we talk maybe once every three months. We send long messages about how life’s been going. It’s our way of giving each other a bit of hope in this sad world. I actually like it. We grew up, and the friendship grew up too.

As for my relationship with people in general: when I was a kid, I avoided human contact — not because I was scared or something, but because I just wasn’t interested. Drawing, math, and books felt way more interesting. I was distant from my family back then, and I still am. Maybe bullying affected me more than I noticed at the time.
My psychiatrist told me I have schizotypal personality disorder, which makes my depression worse. It sounds kind of ironic, since I work with culture and events and I’m always busy — sleeping three or four hours a night and working until late.

Going back to being distant from my family: at some point, I started to see human connections in terms of what they’re for. Some people are just there to say “hi,” “good afternoon,” or “good night.” Others notice you, point things out about you, and make you think later. And a lot of people only show up to say weird things that make you uncomfortable. You can’t really avoid any of this — it’s all part of being human.Post too long. Click here to view the full text.

I don't like it when people say that because in my case it just made me numb and less able to connect with people. Not even that I mistrust them or whatever, I don't really dislike them either, it just feels like I no longer have it in me to crave any type of approval or anything similar to that. I think that if I didn't struggle as much as I did as a kid that I'd probably have turned out differently, more compassionate than I am today. That is not really to say that I'm unable to feel compassion, but I've just reached a point where I'm not actually feeling these things and being aware of it anymore, it feels like I'm reacting to something else instead of me actually having some type of recognition of the fact that I'm feeling remorse or anything towards someone. It's weird to describe and explain, but pretty much I don't feel as I did in the past, seems like instead of me having a set of emotions I can actually differentiate from other emotions and being aware, I'm instead just not feeling like I can be aware of these things, but instead I display it as though it affects me, and it definitely does, but I'm not aware of it as I might have been before. I'm not sure if I can blame it exclusively on my past, I'm also on medication which I've been on for some time now and that could also be the reason as to why I feel like this. But I was also more or less the same back when I wasn't on medication.

The phrase "suffering makes you stronger" has an implicit assumption: you're already strong, i.e., you can find meaning in your suffering by deeply analysing it and using it for your own observation and improvement, not a material form but a spiritual or psychological one, like understanding the causes behind someone's behaviour and not taking it personal.

Recently I was watching a yt channel where the youtuber was ranting about her life and she was unable to watch herself but as a victim: everyone was mean to her "just because"; but she couln't analyse her own behaviour which, in fact, was the common factor to all of her social problems. Another people might not feel as a victim but neither they can analyse their past, they will just… bear with it, not in the sense that you don't give a shit but in the sense that you deserve all the shit people throw at you. You can cultivate resentment, low self-esteem or personal growth, that is up to you.

>>305272
you make important omissions.

first, babbling is a part of the process of "figuring it out'. of course, if you don't put a conscious effort into it, you'll just be babbling forever, but even if you *do* put effort into it, you will still babble until you "figure it out".

second, it's not really "up to you". what is up to you is how you use your "good time". by "good time" i mean periods when your brain functions ok. but if most of the time your brain is NOT operating ok, then you can't "figure anything out"

>>305269
>Anon, Elon Musk, one of the greatest man, has been bullied his whole life and is a lolcow, and every clowning on him makes him more popular. Bullying can be a gift.



"Oh we11! Th3y bu11y me a lot! Which 54y5 a 1ot about my achievwments" card requires knowing how pull it right e.g. kn0wing your rights

>>305123
You do not grow stronger by suffering, you grow stronger by overcoming hardship and difficulty. This can very well be done without suffering, though unfortunately most people wouldn't bother to do so until it starts to cause them harm.

>>305241
Very well said. You need to have 0.01% tier luck to actually have a life worth living.

I've never actually had any type of dreams. I'm probably an NPC or whatever kids these days call it. There was a point in time where I wanted to have a lot of money but I've never actually seriously had my sights on any type of specific work or education.

Honestly, my life is full of the moments where I asked for this, and now I have to live with it. Feels lainpilled…



…guess I need to friendmaxx.

I wonder what are those normal things in life OP mentions. Because things like owning a home and the such are becoming more and more scarcer.

Three days ago was my birthday. I realized it when my mom hugged me and said, “HB, honey!” After that, I started thinking more — and I ended up cursing my own existence.

It feels impossible for me to live the life I wanted. I can’t isolate myself to read books or study music, math, and philosophy. I don’t even know if I would call that life a dream — maybe it is one. It feels so fucking annoying and utopian when I stop everything to think about it.

I think I’ll die in some stupid loneliness I once believed in. I stopped cutting myself, but I no longer take my meds for depression, schizoid personality disorder, and misanthropy.

Like another anon said, “We’re not born to be happy.” If that’s true, maybe all I can do is sit down and watch my whole life turn to dust in the wind.

Fuck.