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The worst thing my parents did was to never take me to a shrink as a kid/teenager despite me being obviously fucked up. I doubt this would've fixed me in any meaningful way, but I would've gotten proper documentation for NEETbux at least.

When I go to a doctor to complain about my broken psyche now, the first question is "if you have it so bad, why didn't you do anything about it for the last 28 years?" They all think I'm faking it for disability money: nobody can be this unwell and never have seen a shrink about it.

It's amazing how much my parents managed to kneecap me in this regard just because they were too prideful and normie to want to admit that their kid is a dud.


>It's amazing how much my parents managed to kneecap me in this regard just because they were too prideful and normie to want to admit that their kid is a dud.
How sure are you about that reason?


I feel the same way although with some provisos, that idk if psycs are miracle workers, and by my teens I had more of a sense of self, and deluded myself that my life was a choice and I had fixed my problems. So by the time my parents were ready to send me to a psych, I woulda resisted fiercely. But you can't expect a messed up kid to not try to fix his own problems. And then I became prideful in my results.


The actual worst mistake was fucking you up in the first place, not the fact that they also neglected to fix their mistake.


>want to admit that their kid is a dud.
unless you're like this guy you're not a dud

think about it next time you feel like you're broken.

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I listen to music and feel envy instead of amazement. I think "They're lucky to make money by only doing what they love. I too have lots of creative energy and even some musical skills and talents, but no one needs that. My parents don't want to support me", etc

I see my classmates from good families being happy and shit and I'm overflowing with envy and hatred. I don't want them to die or anything, I just wish I never knew they exist. It's torture

I see people who suffer even more than me and I ask myself, "How can I ever be happy knowing about this suffering? I can't help them. I can't even help myself. I can only sit in my pants in my parents' flat and hate this world quietly"

In before hah, another edgester, get your shit together, man up, get over it, your problems are nothing, it's all in your head, just take a shower, go for a walk, go to hell
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you can really see who are the larpers normgroids and failed normgroids with a post like these. saddening


There is nothing wrong with envy and hatred. Embrace your passions. Be proud of them. Treasure them.

>I see people who suffer even more than me and I ask myself, "How can I ever be happy knowing about this suffering? I can't help them. I can't even help myself. I can only sit in my pants in my parents' flat and hate this world quietly"

Haha! I used to be like that too. I was depressed too because of the evils of the world and because of all that suffering. But you know what? I realized that I was a hypocrite. If I really did care about those people who suffer then I would have done something to help them. Or at least I should have TRIED. But no! I didn't even try to ease their pain! WHY? Because ultimately no one cares about anyone except themselves and those who contribute to their own happiness. Empathy is one of the biggest lies in this world. You don't care about those people, fellow wizard. You just want to feel good by deluding yourself into believing that you care about them. Don't be ashamed, accept your inner beast. You are selfish just like everyone else but there is nothing wrong with it.


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are you for real? It's not a bad thing to not help others who are already in a bad situation, but to cause them to be in that awful situation. Right now there are thousands of people who need help, am I being bad for not helping them? Of course not. I'd be bad if I was the one who put them in such a situation where they are suffering and in need of help.


You could be considered "bad" by certain standards, yes. But good and evil are just baseless terms at the end of the day. There is nothing wrong with being selfish, everyone is selfish but most people are delusional and believe they aren't like that.

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I'm 4 days being totally off my SSRI per doctor's orders after tapering for about 2 months. The main thing I notice is not the physical side effects, but how my emotions have risen from the dead. My libido too. I just had a nice, good crying spell. I was browsing the internet and saw this poor son of a bitch trying to dance at a club and getting shamed for it, and the look on his face made me cry my ass off. I never once did anything like that while on SSRI, sadness is impossible on SSRI, or any genuine emotion. Honestly this is kinda worrisome.
Anyone else out there with experience? How long does this emotional stage last? I'm still dealing with minor brain shivers and hot flashes.
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i feel the same wat. im not on ssris right now but when i was on prozac i noticed my emotions were stunted. for example
my anger wasn't as intense as before, and to be honest i didnt like it


something else i want to add is that if your environment is so shit you have to dope yourself up on jewpills to make yourself feel better you should just leave your environment. i know its easier said than done and not every wizard can just get up an leave. but shit its not worth getting dependent on these pills


SSRI's literally saved my life. I don't understand all the hate. Sure they numb some emotions but I always have thought emotions are stupid and destructive so whatever.


I'm getting back on SSRIs due to return of severe depression


back on cymbalta, feel a lot better now


what is the meaning of life if you are not exceptional in any way, if you do not look exceptional, if you do not have exceptional talent, if you were not born in a unique place, you don't have any unique skills, or you don't have a bigger goal in life?
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>Pleasure can only make you forget about what's your meaning.
An interesting thing to say because forgetting, or distraction, is the single purpose of all of our behavior combined. It is perpetually scratching the various itches we have been cursed to endlessly feel in various places and times on our body.
The drive to try forgetting these itches exists on a level that includes all that nonsense about achievement, procreation, being respected, finding happiness and peace so that it becomes silly to zoom in on any one of these small temporary parts of it as if it is THE meaning in life. I'd just refer to it as self maintenance.


>An interesting thing to say because forgetting, or distraction, is the single purpose of all of our behavior combined.
Are you one of those imbeciles who believe that everything is a coping mechanism?


And how is it not?


There are things people genuinely enjoy and which bring them true happiness. So just because you fail at finding those things which make you happy and content you shouldn't force your misery unto others.


meaning defines purpose which defines meaning

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~5 years in college. Exams, but most importantly, insufferable college normans. Sounds like hell. Also, education quality is rather low here in my borderline third world country

I want to learn programming. Is it possible to get a job without a degree but with enough skills?

Sorry for asking here, I just need advice but I have literally no one else to talk to


I doubt they'd hire a college graduate over someone with a strong portfolio or a brilliant app.
I think college is a joke, and its meant as a cushion for lazy people so they can extend their high school days well into their 20's.


It's about right.


You can try but even with 4 years of college no one looks at you unless you spent 6-12 months as an intern


College degrees are fucking useless. I have a degree in electrical engineering and I can’t find any suitable employment.

Have you considered maybe some kind of professions certificate? Honestly dude, for wizards, no matter how qualified you try to make yourself it’s always going to be a struggle.


Have any of you guys TRIED self-improvement?

This may sound like a normie thing to some of you, but ""simple"" tasks such as meditation and exercise may help us to reduce our depression.

This guy sounds very honest and well-intended.
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Why is this annoying "improve yourself bro" meme everywhere on the internet ever since that Peterson faggot became popular? It used to be kind of a small reddit thing but now it's fucking everywhere.

Unless by "improvement" you mean >>204126, which I approve


If you're not interested, you don't need to shitpost on my thread just to get some attention. I don't know Reddit and I don't know happens there.

Why does the idea of improving oneself bothers you?




for the most part it worked, i am more attractive now than what i was 3-4 years ago but im still not really happy with myself or my life. i think i can speak for most people


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Under the guidance of a professional, certified, qualified, adjective adjective therapist I did the standard shit, tried mindfulness, tried exercise, tried exposure therapy, none of it really worked
Don't see him anymore, but these days, keep a regular routine of when I sleep/wake up (not deliberately, it just sort of happens), and I picked up reading actual books a few years back, that's enough mental stimulation for me, writing's not bad for me either I find, so I'm not 'cured', nor to an outsider do I look much at all like someone who's at all in a state of self-improvement, but it happened, and I'm rather content with it, the only way my situation could be better would be if I had money, but that would entail getting a job, a counter-productive act
In conclusion, tried self improvement with the methods that are usually prescribed, didn't work, ended up improving myself somewhat through other methods, didn't make me Bill Gates but I'm happy enough with where I am

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Eight months ago, I finnaly w

Couldn't find a better description.


I remember that, it was a brilliant.


lol it's been three years since that post that I didn't find funny but got over more than 100 replies


>personal progres
I quit my jawb and have no intention of ever getting one back

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I think normies braiwashed me. It started with my mother who often told me that I m saying stupid things and I should do everything exactly like she wants me to do.

Later it was case with normies at school who bullied me and I was told that i m stupid while normies are the smartest people in the world by them.

I dont have any assertiveness at all. I m acting like I dont have any will to live. I m just empty inside.


every parent brainwashes their kids. it's just the nature of kids that they're super impressionable. whether you're brought up christian or muslim or atheist, whether your parents called you a retard or a genius, whether you were pushed towards math or science or art or retail… you got brainwashed. maybe they did it because they thought they were being good people. maybe they did it to advance their own interests. maybe they did it because they're malevolent and wanted to ruin your life.

even after you grow up, everyone is trying to push their bullshit ideology on you, just like i am doing right now.

allow me to continue, you can't escape it. the axioms that certain people accept are implicit in any of their interactions with you. all the conversations and arguments are just a struggle to advance that person's particular ideology. whether they believe it themselves or not, they feel that it's a good idea for them to promote those ideas.

take me. maybe i am making this post because i want my ideas to spread. maybe i want you to believe these things because i think it will make you better at dealing with the world. maybe i am doing it to make you more depressed and hopeless.

you will never know my motivations, or anyone's, because even if i told you - you would have no way to know if it's true or not.

most of the time, imo, it's just people spreading their ideological seed. because they wanna make as many people like them as possible. they don't think if it's good or bad, or what the consequences are. if it fucks up your life, then you're just a casualty of the greater good, collateral damage. or, they find some way to blame you, "well you're not doing it perfectly. you need to also be doing xyz."


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I feel it's only brainwashing if they intend to double down on it when you grow up or when you realize yourself what they told you is objectively wrong and you are left to clean their mess.
Like all the romantic love bullshit, or people being generally good.
You grew up, realized people are mostly selfish assholes, because why wouldn't they be? You find out that romantic love is just an euphemism for dumb lust and maybe liking being around someone. There's no magic, people would fuck like animals in the street if they could.
Why hide the truth away from the child only for it to blow up in its face one day eventually? There are a few examples I could provide from my personal life. It's too late to fix most of them, I've accepted it and try to make the best of the life I have now even though I wish I were never born. I won't necessarily go out of my way to make life easier for the people that took a dump on my developing brain and personality, though.


There is a difference between socialisation and manipulation. Socialisation is simply the sum of social and cultural influences you are exposed to while growing up. This process happens indirectly and unintentional for the most part despite it having such a huge effect on your personality and views. Manipulation on the other hand is calculated and forced onto you with the explicit goal to create a certain attitude or feature in you or even change your entire personality. People don't normally want you to become like them. They simply live and talk according to some precognitive believes but it's expected from an adult to reflect and think about things on his own. A child lacks this cognitive distance so the influence of other people is greater however still it might not be the parent's intentions to make their child like them even if they demonstrate certain habits and ideas which are integrated into their life because everyone has to behave in a certain way and form different views of the world. It's unavoidable to expose other people to your bullshit but that's far from cold blooded manipulation.


same thing different degree. there's no inherent difference even if the intent is pure/evil it doesn't matter.

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 No.203095[Reply][Last 50 Posts]

Post here when you don't have enough to say for a topic and it's too depressing for the general crawl thread.

Please, be respectful to each other.

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>Online money exchange that doubles as my bank account changes the currency to my native one
>Suddenly realize it's chump change


>On the one hand, it enrages me that such people have kids. On the other, I understand that they have no idea what they're doing.

It sounds like his parents are downright assholes fully aware of the fact that they are making his life horrible and discouraging every glimpse of positive energy he tries to act upon. His parents must be miserable and regretable fucks who unwillingly gave birth to a child to whom they now fail to be responsible for. Even worse, unable to accept their own situation they shame their own child and project all their despair on him in a hateful and cynical way to prevent any chance that the child might live a worthy and decent existence overcoming his own parents' failures. These kind of people are life sucking parasites nourishing themselves from the mental suffering that they inflict on their looked down upon flesh and blood to ensure that he doesn't get any better than they have ever been. I really hope that he will find a way to free himself from these psychic vampires devoid of any love for their own child.


that seems to be exactly it
will most likely be gone by tomorrow and I'll most likely forget it ever happened by thursday in any case


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I seriously think life has traumatized me. I have always suffered hugely just existing and taking part in the world and this constant emotion quite clearly fried my reward systems and so on. I realized today that I've been training myself to dissociate just to do chores or take action in the world; I go outside my body, stop my mind thinking, and being mindful or paying attention to my body shuts down my body. Placing myself inside my body freezes it and it doesn't want to move. I learned recently this is what disassociation is when people do it to avoid trauma or have to engage in traumatic things. Has just moving and participating in the world been so much suffering that existing has traumatized my brain - it sounds like a thing people just say but it might be true. My brain associates getting up and doing things with the burning pain in my head of suffering and the demiurge has broken me. At least this disassociation stuff works.



>>204052 >>204052 >>204052

[Last 50 Posts]


reinstalling computer games made me addicted and obsessed again and it made me realize how far i had gotten from the addiction


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For some reason I was never really into video-games. Though I played a lot of them, especially the ones for PS1 and PS2. Really enjoyed Resident Evil 4 and GTA, but never got addicted to it simply because I get tired of video-games too rapidly. Whereas, I've been browsing imageboards since 2014 and still enjoy it.


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playing videogfames its tehe ebetst


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What kind of games do you get addicted to?

I think I've had issues with addiction to them from as early as I was playing games at like 6 up to around 15 years old. As a kid pretty much all my time not in school was spent on them. As a kid before 12 or so pretty much anything was fun for me and I could spend 100+ hours on it probably, I played some good ones like Harvest Moon and Morrowind but even shitty movie licensed games were fun to me.

After 12 or so I got into multiplayer games. I think Monster Hunter was the first and I spent 1000+ hours on it. I'd get home from school and outside of taking like ~10 minutes for eating and bathroom breaks, then the rest of my time was spent playing it.

Got into first person shooters more after that, spent most of my time playing TF2 when I was 14. It was pretty bad, I stayed up until 1 am playing usually when I had to get up at like 7 the next day for school. And I once forgot to give the dog water while my parents were away because of it.

After that I haven't really gotten seriously addicted to anything, I can play some games for entire days on the weekends but it's never gotten to the point where I can't drag myself away easily. I think a big part of it is due to the guilt I feel playing games instead of spending time on learning so I can make more money and retire earlier in the future. But if I had the funds to keep me and my family comfortable for the remainder of my life I'd be fine spending just about all my waking hours on games (outside of exercise and reading to maintain the body and mind). I don't really see value in doing much else unless you need to.

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