/dep/ - Depression

Anyone else fucked themselves over into bagholding for at least a few years by spending their savings on crypto? I spent over $2500 total since Dec 2020 with shit return so far, wish I sold in May/December 2021 everyday. I've made myself a poorfag, and now everything costs at least 10% more too, so I can't even fucking cope with a new GPU or something.

Following a series of bad decisions and consequently a myriad of losses, and perpetual rejection from peers, excluding delusive contentment my existence can no longer be justified. The vast majority of the problems I face are circular, and likely the result of innate negative characteristics, but as can be deduced from the title, I'm typing this with minimal expectations.

I suspect that I likely suffer from OCD, internet-induced ADHD, or at the very least impaired WMI, apophenia, anxiety, and an abnormal gait which results in people's perception of me being affected negatively. I tend to experience depersonalization fairly often, and in retrospect, I've verily experienced life more so as an observer than a veritable participant. I've faced rejection since kindergarten, and I haven't been able to perpetuate a friendship for longer than two years, both online and in real life. Prior to adolescence, I spent most of the time friendless, followed only by a short period of time during which someone would show interest in me, and I've spent the entirety of my adolescence in relative isolation (no contact with anyone irl excluding a few family members I live with). The relationship I had with my best friend from kindergarten ended when his mother forbade him to converse with me, and the same happened in elementary school, and later on in middle school, albeit the reasons differed. During school, I was generally the person who sat alone, and during trips, I was generally the person who had to have a friend appointed by the teacher. Persons of the opposite sex did surprisingly show an evanescent interest in me, but it would evaporate as soon as they'd notice my lack of confidence, social skills, and some other ailments. As an example, during fourth grade, my classmate's cousin was visiting and was allowed to attend our classes. She asked me for my skype, and after a few months of messaging, she expressed that she possesses feelings for me, only to stop replying after I failed to reciprocate. In seventh grade, a friend of mine told me that our classmate has a crush on me, and suggested that I ask her out after school. The best I could do was ask her over Facebook, and after the initial conversation, I didn't even message her as I failed to see any mutual interests. She decided to end the "relationship" after two weeks, and two days later decided to invite me to meet with her and her friends. In retrospect, I've failed to pick up on any cues, and due to my lPost too long. Click here to view the full text.

Anyone a wizard in part due to self harm? I have mutilated my legs with cutting addiction, making it impossible to ever show my body to anyone.

I quit cutting for like a year but I'm diving back in because it feels good and I have nothing to lose.

I am returning to this board after a long period of abscence. Lots of things happened during that time, another suicide attempt, a 2 week stay in a psych ward, me sorting my shit and "succeeding" and I've significantly cut my substance abuse.

I am a wizard like all of you, and you are a wizard just like me. I discovered I could channel my hatred and misanthropy into whatever pursuit I have. You probably have the same hatred and untapped energy. I read the catalog and I just see docile, bitter men and a few wizards doing wizard things.

Think about this. You are already not part of society, you have nothing to let go off. Death is guaranteed. Nothing has value, not even your own life. You are completely free once you grasp these concepts. I will eventually offing myself, in the meanwhile I am building whatever pursuit, hobby or interest I want.

Be free, let go off your docile and bitter self. Build whatever you want to build, run over anyone that crosses your path. Make sure everyone surrounding you is scared of you, that way they cooperate to your pursuits or simply leave you alone. Fear far outweighs respect.

Every day I tell myself I should not eat that much, but I still end up ordering take aways. I don't know what's wrong with me.

What is the most easily accessible substance you can overdose and die from? Specify wheter it will be a nice or a bad trip?

"I'm gonna turn my life around tomorrow"
How many of you have been saying that all your lives. So why didn't it work?

Post here when you don't have enough to say for a topic and it's too depressing for the general crawl thread.

My mother has always passive aggressively asked me if i needed a therapist or if i was depressed during arguments but recently my whole family has been getting more outspoken. I know that my family has always talked about my depression behind my back. My family was having a little party yesterday and i opted to stay inside and scroll wizchan, my sister walks in and asks me if im depressed, my response "i dont know", I went outside later, my sister had obviously told them what happened because my family was trying to tiptoe around the subject of depression and self improvement stuff. I have recently been given an opportunity to leave the house for the first time and roommate with an old friend, so today my mom tells me that she told my sisters about how i was thinking about moving and they said that its not a good idea for me to be away from family knowing that im depressed and emotionally unstable even though the main source of my depression right now derives from rotting in my familys attic. it makes me feel guilty and pathetic having my family worry about me but at least i know they have good intentions.

I hate the way i act, the way i talk everything i do. I'm dumb, socially i'm a fuckin mess.

I'm a very unlikeable maglamation of bad traits, i'm the most annoying stupid person i know, and i can't change it.