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 No.306061[Reply]

I got summoned to jury duty. I am depressed and socially anxious, probably have avoidant personality disorder. It is asking me if I have a disability that prevents me from completing jury duty and I honestly don't know how to answer that. If I couldn't handle college and I can't handle employment because I'm too mentally ill, why would jury duty be any different? I kind of feel like it would be possible just unpleasant, but then I also wonder if I can physically force myself to show up and that I'm less sure of.

I have to ask my doctor to tell them I'm disabled though and then that would be weird. How are you supposed to know if you just have mental illness or if you are disabled by that mental illness?
1 post omitted. Click reply to view.

 No.306130

>>306061
Never go to the psych ward or be blatantly honest with a therapist. These people are quick to deem you mentally adjudicated (incompetent) and will fuck you over for life.

Just because society socially ostracizes you doesn't mean you're mentally ill necessarily; it's a negative feedback loop.

All they'll do is gaslight you and project onto you. If you do need to seek out help from them, attempt to be as relatively neurotypical and politically correct in a nuanced way as possible, and pretend that their shit advice is somehow a groundbreaking revelation of self-awareness.

 No.306138

I think this is obvious unless you are truly delusional, or too retarded to realise you are retarded. I would avoid this jury stuff anyway, even when you interact with the court system in a good way these things somehow always bring bad stuff in your life

 No.306193

I know I must be developing schizophrenia. I am seeing plenty of visual hallucinations such as animals like cats and dogs that don't belong to me playing in my house, seeing massive spills of juice on the floor then it fades away after a minute. However the thing that gets me are the little things that aren't interesting enough to be noted as fake, such as hearing a knock on the door or a phonecall which really irritates me. At least I'm not seeing demons and believe the government is trying to kill me like my mother gets

 No.306227

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>>306193
I’m schizoaffective and also suffer with hallucinations. I have subtle hallucinations such as the ceiling fan sound can merge with voices, it gives off the feeling of being in the interrogation room from COD: Black Ops.
I have hallucinations where I can telepathically hear people’s inner monologue. There’s plenty other stuff but what makes it worse is that I lost my inner monologue after using copious amounts of psychedelics, so I’m stuck with these voices and intrusive thoughts without any room for my own.

It’s fucking over

 No.306763

>>306061
yo i just got summoned too…

how did it go with you OP if you ever return?

My plan is gonna be just being honest and tell them i have a lot of anxiety and would really prefer not to participate, but I'm here if they literally have no one else in the system willing to take my place…. (my anxiety of having follow-up calls or getting in trouble for not showing up is wayyy worse than going… cus i've done it before and never even got selected or had to make an excuse)


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 No.301325[Reply]

>Join discord server
>Too nervous to talk to anyone and make friends
>Become a lurker and feel sad when I see others make connections and friends
>end up leaving the server

Any tips to help stop this dilemma?
44 posts and 3 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

 No.306672

Okay, I tried Discord AGAIN, and I believe it's not for me.
The go-to advice for making friends is "just joing a niche hobby discord sub bro!"
It's all nice, but the biggest hurdle for me was the small talk and off topic discussions.
Basically, you are walled off from the most of the server until you prove you are a chill guy, and only then you are allowed to see the hidden channels.
I did just that, tried to build my cred on one of the servers by participating in some stupid bullshit discussion in the off topic chat only to find that nobody posts in the hidden channels (aka on-topic channels) and like 95% of discussion is some benign shit about the users' day or some latest meme or whatever.
I hate hate HATE that I have to participate in small talk, my sped brain hates small talk.
I tried the same strategy with different subs, even purely technical ones, but they are mostly dead and nobody talks there.
Just join discord, my ass.

 No.306719

>>301325
>Discord
Discord is a shit place to make friends

 No.306723

That's insane. Just use a throwaway account

 No.306746

>>301325
If you don't need money, then get friends is not a need. I've tried being friendly and nice with people but always think that being a good guy to them is being weak so they surprise when I don't tolerate their injustices over me and automatically they consider me a threat to their environment so unless that I need money or stuff like that, I don't have any interest to know new people. At least until I get a friend that don't want to use my kindness to mock me around or use me.

 No.306755

>>301325
It took me awhile to find friends on discord. If you play video games you gotta find them in the games you like. Popular games are easier to find people but not high quality, high quality meaning good match for you. I found a friend while i was living in a hotel playing dark souls remastered on switch like 5 years ago and still play with him to this day. He found more people and they became my friends too. I also found friends playing pubg. I think for men and especially autistic men which i was very autistic before, it’s better to have a shared goal or objectives and the small talk is just a ctach up or time occupier inbetween gameplay. This could also be applied to a mens shed or something where you go to build objects or whatever else. When you’re socially awkward it’s better to have something to focus on objectively until you gain enough levels to tolerate and then later enjoy small talk. It took me years but now i enjoy myself with random people from good discord groups. I count myself lucky. I could have easily never recovered.


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 No.306265[Reply]

I feel like a lot of people, especially older normies overestimate the abilities of the average guy and the problems that are out there to be solved in real life.

There is this old guy I listened to for the past decade now called Eli the Computer Guy and he often repeats this mantra that a tech professional should go out there pick themselves up by their bootstraps and solve problems for money.
Solve real world problems for money. Provide solutions using your skills. Over and over again while teaching people about making toy cars with a microcomputer or whatever.

Issue is there aren't any problems the average guy is capable of solving that people are able to pay enough for to make it worthwhile.
Maybe I'm low IQ and not creative enough, but that is the point I guess.
The average guy that got a CS or engineering degree and is now doing menial tasks at a big corporation isn't going to create groundbreaking solutions because everything worth doing, all the low hanging fruit and obvious problem/solution pairs have been done to death, patented to death or worse.

Big tech is so big that they offer a solution so refined, so solid, so cheap that no mom-and-pop shop will ever give you the time of day if those even exist.
The average normie is quite content with a phone which is basically a toy-ified computer gadget.
They don't need more.
Most even run their own little business from it using a handful of cheap/free big tech tools that if you were to offer a homebrew solution for it would cost an arm and leg to maintain without economies of scale.

What does a network tech that wants to "solve problems" do aside from running cable? You could lease a 10G fiber line from a big ISP and sublet it by wiring up a small village I guess?
Then the government gives a huge fucking grant to big ISP and they just wire up every small village themselves leaving you with nothing.
If you are lucky you can become a subcontractor doing menial tasks for the big ISP in a set region.

What does the average coder do now? Especially with the future of them limiting hardware/software access? Every app is made that a normie needs. Kinda like with websites.
Every normie uses less than a dozen of them, mostly through apps…
Post too long. Click here to view the full text.
14 posts and 5 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

 No.306323

>>306318
Care to explain how you will remain unaffected?
How did you move beyond the system?
I wish I knew.

 No.306330

>>306323
I am a neet but I think it is impossible to truly remain unaffected. What I rather meant is being born, growing up, and living in this society tricks you into believing a certain way of thinking is reality, it gives you this subtle brainrot interacting with these systems over years which is hard to notice, you're entire way of thinking becomes warped and you lose track of what is actually real
hence the normies get filtered

 No.306331

>>306330
I feel like we have a different thing in mind when it comes to being filtered.
If the world turns sour and you lose your neetbux you'll end up in the same spot as we are.
At the end of the day, as a NEET you are just as much if not more attached to the system in this case.
Perhaps I'm completely missing your point, in which case I'm sorry.

 No.306743

>>306267
liberal arts degrees exist for people with a particular passion to have a place to pursue it, and for people with a place at dad's company to have an easy way to get a piece of paper that says "degree" on it. considering it from a career perspective is stupid.

if anything, the practice of treating university as a vocational school that prepares people for a career is historically abnormal, a feature of the centralized nation state trying to mass-produce technical specialists. now that the demand for those is dying out, so is the system of university as a step you take to guarantee a job.
>>306265
the low hanging fruit were picked a lot longer ago than you think. even most of the oft-cited examples of someone "single handedly" changing the world at any time in the past 200 odd years are more often than not about someone spending a decade or two fundraising and eventually getting lucky after burning millions than working alone in a shed.

success in starting a business is almost always a matter of simply being in the right place at the right time, and getting lucky on a risky gamble. you won't find it by just going around and looking for problems, because everyone is out there looking fof ways to make money. you need to be one of the first few to find out, have the right skills and know the right people to get things off the ground before the market is saturated.

as for average engineers and programmers, they're glorified assembly line workers. the real entry level degree to do actually creative technical work is a PhD nowadays, and even that doesn't work out for most people (don't think it worked out for me)

 No.306744

>>306271
>>306296
asking a chatbot for business ideas is the exact opposite of a way to succeed. it will distill the statistically most probable responses, aka the things it thinks people would say, aka the things it has seen people say in situations like yours time and time again, aka the shit that everyone else is already doing or trying to do

you need arbitrage, a competitive edge, something that sets you apart. a business profits because it discovers a shortcut, it solves some problem so much cheaper than the alternatives that you can afford to take a cut. if everyone has already thought of it, everyone has tried it, and it either didn't work or it worked and now they're already there eating your lunch but with an established process and customer base.


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 No.305937[Reply]

Every time I think of death, the end of my self I can feel my brain fighting it, pretty much actively trying to shut down.
It's a weird sinking feeling, thinking of the unimaginable.
People have died around me and I felt nothing, but then again I'm not an overly emotive or emotional person.

I still can't cope with death as a concept. I don't want to cease experiencing. I'd genuinely prefer hell to oblivion.

I screwed myself, my health because of a lack of attachments and care for things in general and I'm at the age where recovery is getting harder even if I try.
Mitigation is a more realistic goal if I don't already have something terminal, hopefully. (29)

How do you guys cope? I see so many people here talking about suicide and I just can't fathom it.
I suffer from many chronic ailments, pain, tinnitus (really severe) and much else. I had many absolutely horrid experiences during childhood and youth.
I have no real connection to my broken family, no connection to pretty much anyone or anything. Never loved or felt loved by anyone, not even family.
I don't pursue hobbies I'm a man of inaction. I can't even force myself to do things I supposedly enjoy.
I have one friend I talk to online exclusively in text and meaningless time wasting activities, consuming media, manga/manhua mostly.

It's a pointless life. Wasted.

Based on all of this I should probably be suicidal, but I'm the opposite. I'd be content being a specter just observing things too. I just want to persist.
I don't want this to end, I don't want to end.
I'm terrified. Sure I'm sick, in pain, constantly depressed or anxious, generally a failure, but I don't want to be gone.
Post too long. Click here to view the full text.
13 posts and 1 image reply omitted. Click reply to view.

 No.306168

>>306128
evil people just are like that and live for it
can you look at someone like Epstein and imagine there is even the tiniest amount of goodness or purity, anything but the ultimate depravity in him?
there is no good guy inside the high school bully, just someone seeking to do nothing but torment
so when they die they go to the ultimate evil and depravity, that is hell

 No.306169

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I'm sorry took a while to gather the energy to reply to anything at all, wont reply to everyone, but thanks for contributing regardless.

>>305943
I'm no longer in a state prior to birth nor do I have any recollection of such.
Therefore it is reasonable to fear what comes after, at least in my eyes.

You might be spot on in some sense, I do suffer from quite a lot of ailments as described, but over all I'm sure I'm blessed compared to many.

Suffering is relative.

A strong person might think what I suffer from is nothing.
To me the suffering of a virgin normie is nothing as well, yet some just blow their brains out for not getting a female demon of their own.
Does any of that matter? Not to me. I'm sure it will get worse, I'm sure I'll suffer more as I age, I might even wish for death later.

Still I don't want to be shut down forever. I would prefer to persist, even if just a specter. I don't desire survival I desire to remain, for my awareness to continue for eternity.
For you maybe that counts as this survival instinct too, but I don't believe so.
Wanting pain to stop and wanting to not exist anymore is not the same for me.

>>305956
>you lack the fantasy to think about the unimaginable.
Post too long. Click here to view the full text.

 No.306172

>>305937
I'm in a similar boat. Life not worth living, but death is a taboo for me. The thought of not existing gives me have anxiety attacks; the thought of eternal existence, good or bad, fills me with dread. I'm a prisoner of my own flesh.

 No.306722

File: 1775169179715.jpg (125.98 KB, 736x1104, 2:3, 1740444764381.jpg) ImgOps iqdb

Just had a realization.
All the times I thought "well someday"…
Someday isn't even today.
That day of action, that one day where dreams come true was 10 years ago.
It just never happened.
It passed by like any other day.
A day of inaction. Then a month and year and a decade.
It should have been. Long ago. I should be reminiscing about those days today. I don't even have the fond memories to look back on.
Failure? Is it a failure if you never tried? I don't know.

Facing mortality like this feels impossible.

 No.306729

>Every time I think of death, the end of my self I can feel my brain fighting it, pretty much actively trying to shut down.

that's the little you who somehow got into the cockpit. there are deeper parts of you, how bout letting them into the cockpit and kick the little you out?

>I screwed myself, my health because
if you don't want to die then how come you aren't healthy. that'd be the number one thing you would make sure to handle because it is the only thing that can give you extra years.

pasta, pizza, soda and candy don't give you extra years, they shorten your life.

>How do you deal with the inevitability of death?
i'm healthy and i try to make the best out of the little time i have left. i'm not that good at using my time and i am way slower then i would like to be because of the constant molestation and hostility around me that i keep having to pick myself up from but what matters is that i am getting better. the reason i don't worry about death or getting old is because i trust in my abilities and in the preparation i am doing, also i was never tricked in this cultural delusion of all the idiots who prioritize in controlling everything and everyone and in the process never even felt the present moment. the worry you experience might be the result of the state of greed that you have accepted as normality. normal people are just fuel for corruption, they aren't alive the way i am or the other people who try to live a life of wisdom. they are just imposters who get so jealous that their circuits jam when they see someone alive. i'm sure you have never found the good stuff in life so you are like all the others who haven't. it's tragic but i don't think you can be helped. until you question the peer pressured life, your life will feel empty, shallow and distant. the real you is sitting passenger while the little you flies the plane. if you were sitting in the cockpit yourself, you could fly to where it is nice but passengers don't get to make decisions, or believe in free will.

just quit being a passenger and fly yourself.


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 No.306649[Reply]

>19 at college, first year almost over
>When I was 16/17(i can't remember) i attempted suicide, but was too much of a dastard to follow through
>Did psychedelics a bunch over the past year and a half, deluded myself into thinking im fixed now
>Pure-O has been the worst aspect of my life by far

idk, maybe its just a bad day, but some days i wonder if my improvement is just a small hill in an overall downhill trend. I'm not any more organized, in shape, social, or nicer than i was before. I've been genuinely happy but do I deserve it? Have I just been distracting myself? I have crippling Pure-OCD so I really can't tell which thoughts are my own, maybe this whole post is a pure-o delusion. Or maybe it's not and i need to face the music.

I just wish i could stop thinking, pure-o makes you just constantly think up scenarios ad nauseum. I can't trust anything my brain says unless i stop everything i'm doing to stabilize myself and focus in on my thoughts and even then it doesnt always work. There are issues i deal with that i have no idea are even real or not. I have always perceived myself as moderately autistic to the point where atleast socially it makes life more difficult, but what if all of the symptoms are just overreactions and fear from pure o. There are days where i cant feel a god damned thing, it gets so numb and my vision goes blurry and i get dizzy and my memory starts cutting from scene to scene. I ask myself am i dead? I feel dead, i dont feel alive, this feels like some post mortum dream or purgatory, there isnt an ounce in my body in body that feels alive.

But is that Cotard's syndrome? I don't believe the sensations but they feel so uncannily real, its unbearable. How could I ever tell if its Cotard's or Pure-O obsessing over anhedonia? Does it even matter? Is me writing this whole rant just an ocd compulsion?

I don't know where im going with this, I was gonna talk about how I wanna kill myself again but idk, maybe cus i just took an edible and its starting to kick in or typing this out was cathartic but whatever. it doesn't matter

i just hope a communist revolution comes so i can throw away my life for something with meaning, i dont even care if i see the fruits of said revolution
2 posts omitted. Click reply to view.

 No.306702

>>306649
>Pure O
>psychedelics binge
Holy shit thats relatable.
Pure OCD is as close to being in hell as possible. I am a bit better now but ocassional flare ups make me want to just kill myself (even more than usually).
I don't trust my brain. He is a nasty motherfucker. I can't engage in escapism because I am my own cage and my own brain is my jailer.
I have to endure constant barrage of mental imagery, of thoughts and sensations I despise. There is no escape even in dreams - they are often perverted by this insanity.

I am an acidhead. It helped back in the day, I lived for 6 month OCD free thanks to it. But now I am so fucked up nothing helps. I did acid recently and my OCD flared up at that time. It was pure suffering made manifest.
There is a limit to what we with our rotten brains can achieve. THe only self improving I do is trying to build muscles and eating properly. The rest should be let go. Or it will become just another theme for your OCD.

 No.306711

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>>306649
>Pure-O

i don't know what that is but i am twice your age and i played 2000 hours of factorio so i have figgured out some things.

the thing with your thoughts being loud i believe is something you can improve with meditation or even just more basic relaxation and breath exercises. tell me how your breathing is and i can imagine a bit better about you. is it shallow and short like half a second in, half a second out (or worse) because that's what i would expect.

if you ran your breathing at a lower and deeper frequency, the loud thoughts might subside on their own and if they don't you still have meditation, mindfulness and detaching from thought as things to try so i would like to encourage you that you have options. try them at your own convenience young sir, i don't think it will be a waste of your time.

regarding what you summarize with autism, you have been subjected to the fast paced modern internet from childhood, internet came to my house when i was 10 years old and it was brand new and slow and had no effect on my life whatsoever until i learned how to pirate with 16, which is where i found all the good stuff. you have been chain-watching interesting videos for years already i imagine. that means you have grown up with knowing what is possible beyond what anyone from my generation ever experienced.

you don't have attention deficit disorder, you don't have a reduced attentionspan, you are annoyed that a better life is possible and you are kept from experiencing it. to that i say don't be, it doesn't help when you are annoyed. instead get good at one thing: ceasing the day. making good use of your time. finding out how to spend your time wisely and start applying what the fast paced internet has shown you is possible, which requires you to set priorities.

WHAT IS MISSING FROM YOUR LIFE THE HARDEST? start there and manifest it quickly so that you can manifest all the other stuff you want.

 No.306712

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from brave ai:

>"Pure O" (purely obsessional OCD) is a term used to describe a form of obsessive-compulsive disorder where individuals experience intrusive, distressing thoughts, images, or urges but perform covert mental compulsions rather than visible physical rituals. Although the name suggests an absence of compulsions, people with this subtype engage in hidden mental acts such as rumination, mental checking, seeking internal reassurance, or silently repeating phrases to neutralize anxiety.

interesting i had never heard that. i guess the medical side of things would try to express this phenomenon in some way, though the more spiritual people have been aware of this since forever. they just call this unconsciousness.

there are purely spiritual approaches to this (not identifying with your thoughts and listening to the silence instead as a way to regain control over your attention against the habitual unconscious force).

if that is too far out for you, there is also the approach of famous psychologist Carl Jung. learning a few Jungian concepts and words could be useful to you because it would give you an intelligent frame on which to describe and question the phenomena. i am talking about jungian concepts like

>the shadow
>personality 1 and 2
>projection
>integration

jung says the way to get healthy in the head is to do "shadow work", to "integrate the shadow". that means finding out the things you don't know about yourself, the unconscious parts and learn about them or even just to see them or stop looking away from them. once you can clearly see them, they are no longer unconscious but consciously "integrated". is a fascinating deep, useful, life-affirming body of knowledge to dive into.

also, please enjoy this 20 year old meme pircture.

 No.306715

>>306712
>just integrate shadow bruh that will cure your intrusive thoughts and abominable compulsion cycles bruh
Pure O doesn't work this way. The moment you start DOING something for relief, it becomes a compulsion. Obsessions regarding it will arise quickly. 'What if I am not integrating it properly?', etc.
The real cure is to realize you don't have to do jack shit and just be with your thoughts and emotions. easy to say but it takes a shit load of suffering to get to this insight

 No.306716

>>306715
>just integrate shadow bruh that will cure your intrusive thoughts and abominable compulsion cycles bruh

just integrating? i guess you have no frame of reference for the emotional turmoil this usually includes. it is maddening, it is emotionally draining and what little i have seen about it reminded me of what is called exorcism. grownups having child-tantrums. uncontrollable crying, screaming, stomping on the floor, stuff like that.

>Pure O doesn't work this way. The moment you start DOING something for relief, it becomes a compulsion. Obsessions regarding it will arise quickly. 'What if I am not integrating it properly?', etc.

that's but modern language to describe an ancient phenomenon. what do the people who invented the language think the solution is? probably petroleum-based patent pending pharmaceutical products.

>The real cure is to realize you don't have to do jack shit and just be with your thoughts and emotions. easy to say but it takes a shit load of suffering to get to this insight

yeah you got it. when within something like a depression, the way out seems impossible but after the way out is found, it is literally just stop doing it as if it was as easy as the snap of a finger.


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 No.304481[Reply]

feeling really lost
especially because i can compare it to earlier times
where things felt more bearable
or at least that i had some bearings to ground myself
school and college, a brief post-graduate unemployment, and then solid employment for many years that led to to a point where i actually kind of enjoyed my life
things felt really stable. i liked the people i had around me every day.
but shit doesn't last, and I have lost everything that kept my mental health from spiraling
and so it's spiraled
addiction and dopamine control my life and I get phases of focus and productivity that quickly fades when I get anxious and start smoking weed from morning to night.
I'm just rambling now because this is my mind these days, just constantly ruminating and unable to find a glimmer of hope to latch onto in order to make sustained gradual change to improve my life and 'return to glory' like I used to experience day to day.

Because nowadays life is uncomfortable
and discomfort without meaning is just suffering

how do i find meaning again after I lost it? Without it I feel so unmotivated to do anything about lacking it.
14 posts omitted. Click reply to view.

 No.306414

>>306405
>even then your influence on them isn't that big.
Projection from someone with no willpower.

 No.306416

>>306414
willpower precedes consciousness, but you're not self conscious enough to see unfortunately

 No.306425

>>306393
>arts and crafts
sounds nice, wish I had something calming
>>306404
this is pure bullshit

 No.306426

You dont hope or yearn for meaning. You discard these things, and pursue what your heart desires without logical justifications for them. Its a principle from ego death, it's helped me in shedding the ego and embrace the self.

 No.306530

>>306426
That sucks. My heart urges me to smash a few skulls and I'm too much of a pussy to do so.


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 No.302319[Reply]

Let's discuss strategies for getting rid of pessimistic thoughts. No negativity allowed in this thread.

I know this is a meme, but taking a shower can completely turn my mood around and make my worries go away, even if it's just for a couple of hours. Listening to uplifting and happy music is also very effective for me. Sometimes I have to force myself at first, but generally it changes my mood.

What are some things you wizs do to minimize depression?
29 posts and 1 image reply omitted. Click reply to view.

 No.306444

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>>302319
My greatest source of depression aside from the shit life and health I created is my inability to take action and clutter that results from it.
In a way the layers upon layers of dust on everything I own represents me.

Lately I've been doing extremely minor stuff on impulse, that arguably wasn't beneficial, but it gave me an insane mental boost.

>minor cleaning
Like dusting, vacuuming, making my bed, putting my clothes away in my wardrobe properly.
Before I had 2 months worth of dust (clumps of stuff, and food stuffs) and random garbage sometimes on my floor.
Had my clothes freshly washed thrown on the floor in a pile next to the used pile.
Last time I changed my sheets was idk maybe in summer.

It really helped, even if it was extremely minor.
Every step, vacuuming, dusting, etc. took me like a whole day to do. I didn't do anything else that day. They were my days off work.
Even though my room is only 2.5m x 5m.
But each day I did something minor like that it felt heavenly and filled with energy.

>throwing stuff away
I guess it's part of clearing clutter. I just threw away 2 bags of clothes I never wear, random gadgets and general junk.
Sure I could have gave it away, but most wasn't worth giving to a second hand store either way. Don't have that much energy from a spark of impulse either.
Post too long. Click here to view the full text.

 No.306476

Huh, taking a shower always ruins my already horrible days, unless I'm completely delusional about my state. I look horrifying while naked.

 No.306490

normalchan

 No.306523

Going from being obese to overweight helped me a little bit. Even a small amount of weight control helps with feet and knee pain, acid reflux, sleep apnea. Also please do not make "no negativity allowed" threads here.

 No.306524

>>306523
Can second this.
I went from 110kg to 91~ back to 96-7 unfortunately, but it's still been a significant improvement in overall life quality.
Hope I'll get another burst of willpower soon.


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 No.306232[Reply]

You guys ever feel like you fucked up somewhere a long time ago,

and now you're living the bad version of the live you were supposed to have?
18 posts and 1 image reply omitted. Click reply to view.

 No.306353

>>306352
too much nihilism coming off you. i went that road as well and now i'm completely dead inside, not even sure how much humanity is left in me. heh.

 No.306380

>>306339
>>306347
>>306349
Either you're newfags or you don't understand why modern day imageboards suck ass. Imageboards used to exist in a larger ecosystem that no longer exists and haven't for a long ass time.

 No.306384

>>306380
everything sucks ass these days, mister old fag

 No.306470

yes but also i could be fucking dead right now by suicide and im not. God gives and God takes away

 No.306471

>>306244
Reincarnation is a top tier cope for this sort of life. I too believe I lived here for too long and now i'm getting shoehorned into a life of monkhood so I go back to who knows where in my own terms.


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 No.306372[Reply]

People, who claim that your mental health can actually improve, are feminist fucking liars trying to catch you in their jewish big pharma clutches.

Once you enter the spiral, there is no escape. No matter how hard you try and kick, no matter if you even do nothing at all, it's only downwards from that point on.

And you always sink one wizard at a time, so when you are at the height of your agony there isn't anyone to do as much as tell you something relatable. More often than not people will openly hate and abuse you.

*Desperate gargling babbling gagging sounds intensify*
7 posts omitted. Click reply to view.

 No.306397

>>306376
This

Happiness is not of this world, it doesn't exist in any shape under the sun, we're in constant need may it be hunger or shelter from elements our body is never satisfied our mind is never at peace not even during sleep and whatever you do death will take you

 No.306402

psychiatric medication will ruin your life
people like to kick those who already are down

 No.306403

To be fair, the people saying this are usually just young. I used to be one of these optimistic dudes that saw mental health as like a self-improvement puzzle. Like, if you just figured out how it all works and connects, then you gain control over it and you get to be a normal adult, perhaps even happy. Well, after reading the entire psychotherapeutic canon, I realized it was all bullshit and that mental illness can only get worse. I even went beyond the field into ancient traditions, woo-woo mysticism, all that esoteric crap, thinking that they might have the answer. Nope!

Now at 28, I stand defeated. I realized that suicide is truly the only answer. When you get dealt a bad hand, you should just quit and minimize your suffering. Honestly, I regret not going for the rope sooner, but when you're young, you don't know what you don't know, you have stupid amounts of hope, you can believe it gets better but at some point, the truth is undeniable. Like, you just collect so much evidence that you can't even create some power fantasy where it all works out somehow. Yes, in the end, dying seems like the only choice, all paths lead to roping. Further life can only bring more humiliations, new and unique pains that you've yet to experience.

 No.306407

>>306403
Yeah metal health is basically outside conscious control. What really scares me is the intellect. When doing something, I often notice some mistakes post factum. It makes me so fucking scared, because I never notice them while working. This means that no matter how much you're rationalizing something, most likely it's all a delusion and you are incapable of knowing it in the moment. You can only potentially know your mistake in future, and that's not a guarantee either. How the fuck am I supposed to be "accountable" for my own happiness, as normies put it, when I have so little control over my psyche? When I have nothing in my head that I could consider reliable? What the fuck am I, even? I feel like a pattern recognition pattern reproduction machine. It's so fucking unfair that normies are allowed to feel ok and I'm not.

 No.306417

>>306403
>you can believe it gets better
"Someday" for sure. Unfortunately that someday has come and my situation is worse than it was.
What a life…


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 No.305837[Reply]

I won't dwell too long on the clinical descriptions -I don't fully get much of it either, still- I got diagnosed "early enough" >will start treatment very very soon but was given a prognosis of 1-2 years ,some wiggle room - or +
I just need advice on things like; legacy videos (don't dvds\ electronics just rot after a while too, due to some oxidative thing?) ,managing Estate Sale whilst alive, any legal shenanigans, to which point to insist on spending time with relatives outside immediate family, etc
I'm 34 y.o. male. I would ask for "bucket list + finance" advice but I'm not american so currency diff. would be it unintelligible i guess.
4 posts omitted. Click reply to view.

 No.305860

I am dying too. I am completely miserable and terrified. There is no point, whatever you do you are forced to confront this fear one day. Unless you are one of those strong people who can die or ctb just like that.

 No.306278

>>305837
Blu-rays are better for archival purposes if you want to leave behind recordings of yourself for people to find in the future or your relatives.
Alternatively there are archival DVDs too, since a bluray burner is quite expensive (150-200€~) if you don't already have one and those wanting to check them will need a player as well.
Maybe get 1 hard drive 1 SSD and blu-rays/dvds as a third option. What is your plan for this? Could help better if we knew what the purpose is.
If it's just to leave something to look back at for immediate family then as described, perhaps some photographs.
If you want to have it accessible to randos in 100 years then HDDs will last longer. They don't lose data while not powered like SSDs. Forget thumbdrives or SD cards though.
For DVDs and Blu-rays the rot you describe is theoretical for the most part unless stored in humid places or direct sunlight.

Who will actually care though aside from immediate family and how often will they look at those really?
Don't get bent out of shape over it I think. Remember you probably never met your great grandparents let alone know more about them than some random strangers.
Nobody will care in 2 generations and everything you could leave behind will fade either way.

I'd say get the treatment either way if it helps live longer. For what it's worth and how things are looking, it's going to get grim for most of us in 2-3 years time.
I wish you the best of luck.

As for the rest, it really depends. Without context I have nothing much to offer aside from the obvious. Make sure you pass on any expensive stuff you might own like a house or car while still alive to prevent headaches for relatives.
You can also set up access to your bank account in a way that they'll be able to use the funds while your death is being processed instead of it being frozen.
This way you could pay for your funeral if you care for that.

Hope you make it.

 No.306279

Remember to have fun

 No.306362

b u r n 2 d i s c

CD-R (AZO / Gold)
• Longevity: ~50–100+ yrs
• Capacity: ~700 MB
• Role: Ultra-stable small masters (text, notes, master copy of best CD mixtape or album to burn from)

DVD-R (AZO / Gold)
• Longevity: ~30–70 yrs
• Capacity: 4.7 GB (single-layer), 8.5 GB (double-layer)
• Role: Cheap, broad redundancy

DVD / Blu-ray M-DISC
• Longevity: ~100–1,000 yrs (inorganic layer)
• Capacity: DVD 4.7 / 8.5 GB, Blu-ray 25 / 50 / 100 GB
• Role: Deep-archive “final authority”

Blu-ray (standard HTL)
• Longevity: ~20–50 yrs
• Capacity: 25 / 50 GB
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 No.306366

>>306362
SSDs are cunts. HHDs demagnetize and the mechanical parts don't like to unused. With HDD I guess you need to power it on at least once or twice a year just to make sure, I have no idea. And you definitely need to rewrite all data every 5 years or so, just to make sure, again. Faggots recommend ZFS but I'm personally not using that ubermachine. I think two disks with btrfs with sha checksums and exactly same data on them should be fine. No idea how to go about rewriting data though. btrfs check maybe and then copy all files from one disk to another and then back.


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