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 No.231052[Reply]

I saw this video recently (I know it's a JBP video but please don't turn this thread into a political shitshow debate, this thread is not about politics), and it really made me wonder, what the fuck determines what you are passionate about? I mean here I am, a lazy high school drop out NEET with zero passions or motivation to do anything but jerk off and browse forums and YouTube all day, meanwhile my peers from school have all went on to get amazing careers and are super passionate about things. I knew this kid in high school, quite introverted like me, yet unlike me he was incredibly passionate about one thing, and that was computer science, he spent hours programming anything and everything, he taught himself calculus and linear algebra at 17, he made tons of program on github that I cannot even begin to comprehend, naturally he is now a senior developer for Microsoft too. What sparked that interest in him in the first place? What made him enjoy computers so much to learn all that? I've tried to learn programming many times and I get bored to tears, anything else would be interesting to me. I can list countless examples of people like this, I know people who are obsessed with music, or neuroscience, or engineering. They spend hours and hours researching and they enjoy it, and best of all, they remember it!

Why am I cursed to live a meaningless and pointless life, why couldn't I have been chosen to be passionate about something, anything! It bothers me so much, that my happiness is completely out of my conscious control. Life is so cruel to me and I don't know why…
42 posts and 3 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

 No.233487

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>>231055
I don't think passion necessarily only comes from DOING something rewarding but rather it comes from something affecting your life in general in an positive way, and you then having the feeling that you can replicate it/do something related to it, even if its not to the same extent/ the same intensity. That would explain why there are some people really passionate about oddly specific things like cheese or watches too.
My passions for art and music came from them really doing wonders for my mental health when I was younger. While doing my passions I'm simultaneously very harsh on myself and easygoing but I think being the latter is really the key: even when I make something I'm not happy with I still often can see the potential in it/what I was TRYING to do, and that is what keeps me going even when I fail, which is most of the time.
I think the key to start developing in a field is to be very easy on yourself but do it very VERY regularly.

 No.234648

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I'll go ahead and necrobump since I recently thought about the subject and immediately remembered this thread.

Anyway, seeing how New Years is often the time that people reflect on their lives and make their resolutions in an attempt to turn their lives for the better or at least better understand their goals and passions, I decided to dig through my memories a fair bit to see what my passions and goals were, because, as you might expect, I can't really say I have any. Though, who knows, they may be buried in the past, after all, as many have suggested, there may be some kind of "archetypal" kind of passion, or a long-lost, innate childhood passion that, for one reason or another, wasn't provided the means to be realized.

Well, I did all that, couldn't sleep well until it was almost morning and kept thinking about it the day after. The result? A letdown.
My childhood interests coincide almost perfectly with what my adult self does, in spite of the fact that, to my current self, it all seems like a waste of time that I want to break away from.
To elaborate, my conclusions upon reflecting on my childhood self's interests are the following:
I liked videogames; I liked discovering new media/content I didn't know existed (but I often did not consume it); I liked daydreaming/dissociating; I liked collecting things; I did not like being around other people; I did not care about school, chores or interacting with the real world, generally speaking, unless I was told to/was coerced into it; I did not care about artistic pursuits, my creativity was spontaneous but simple, a far cry from the deliberate, planned-out work professional (or aspiring professional) artists actually do.
To repeat myself: my current self's core interests are essentially the same. I made attempts to pick up new hobbies and activities, but more often than not they did not stick or, I have to admit, I had to force myself to pursue said hobbies and activities. There are its own reasons for that, primarily: I picked those up out of desperation to be "more productive" and "be able to do more", "monetize it in the future", approached them with an inappropriate sense of professionalism, often setting a high bar for myself, without deriving much fun or sense of personal accomplishment first, as others have also pointed out.

Regardless, I now wonder where this leaves me. Do I have a "core" that is completely unchangeable? Is it even possible for me to develoPost too long. Click here to view the full text.

 No.234657

yeah i wish i could find something to do in this life but there's just nothing out there

 No.234663

>>234657
Same. Nothing out there I Can do because I'm too much of a failure I have to add.

 No.234666

I'm not sure why this thread pissed off so many people.
its not like the notion 'something to do' implies 'something i can do that will get me a career and a normie life.'
id be satisfied if i had a passion for collecting anime figs or something. but i dont. i have never enjoyed doing anything. every conceivable activity has always just slid right off of me from birth. i wish i could do more than just stare at a wall



 No.229314[Reply]

Street cat who has the habit of sneaking in our kitchen. So I cornered her there and went on squeezing her hard against the ground with a broom stick for 30 minutes.

Now this same cat had ruined the water filter before, but even then only cuz i scared her into hiding under the sink and next to the filter in the first place.

She’s sick now all cuz of my pettiness. I have far bigger problems and enemies in my life, but I took it out on her.
73 posts and 9 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

 No.233277

>>233276
I made a good post, explained my positions, and it is this retard that came here to witch hunt and have an internet argument. But fine.

 No.233297

>>229314
It would have been less shameful if you had tortured a human being.

 No.233606

Op here
Cats gotten much better, still not close to how she was before tho. I still want her out of the house either way.

Karma is legit anyway, most of my major health issues are related to some sort of cat related incidence

 No.233891

>>233606
Be nice to the cat from now on OP. Don't take out your frustration on her. Pet her and give her treats and she may forgive. Remember you actions every day and feel shame, it will give you humility and also help you suppress your instincts to hurt.

 No.234658

>>233891
Well even if this cat forgives me, the first one I tortured never will. I tortured that one severely just for the fun of it.

All I want is a clear conscience and for my health to come back.



 No.234599[Reply]

i daydream for hours every day and get wrapped up in outlandish fantasies that could never possibly occur in real life. like sometimes i imagine i win the lottery twice in a row and become some rich bigshot or sometimes i imagine i find a genie that grants me 3 wishes, or sometimes i imagine i get weird powers and can just fuck around and have fun like life is a video game. and i can spend hours in these fantasies. i am seriously half expecting to just wake up one day and have one of them come true and then everything can just pop off.

there is some crazy catholic dude in the commieblocks next to me who thinks the pope got arrested and the combination of that and the capitol riot means christ is going to come back and he is telling everybody to get ready. and honestly i wish he would just come back and save us all. i wish he would of saved us 2000 years ago like he said he would. like imagine how nice it would be to be saved. it would be way better than to be stuck in the rat race

 No.234604

I dissociate pretty much all day

 No.234619

I spend a lot of time getting lost in various fantasies, I have a recurring fantasy where I have a group of friends that understand me and we go on adventures like in anime

 No.234634

>>234599
In a way I admire lunatics like that catholic dude you mentioned. They might be wrong yet they have a conviction which they truly believe in beyond the normalfag way of life. Lunatics like that that are ready to die for their cause - as long as they only hurt themselves or bad people - are extremely based imho.

 No.234637

>>234634
i always think about that scene in O brother where art thou where the guys get the sin washed away in the mire and they come out redeemed and are stoked about it. i wish i could say in the confidence of my faith that i am saved and be truly confident about the fate of my eternal soul



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 No.229783[Reply][Last 50 Posts]

Over the years I've posted many posts on various social media and imageboards describing my problems and I have never gotten any advice that helped, most of it boils down to "just start small!". This doesn't help me at all, I can't maintain focus for long, nor do I feel particularly enthusiastic or passionate about the long term goals I have for myself (i.e read more books, exercise more, study something online like programming). I'm going to post an outline of issues for the sake of further context but I want the focus of this thread NOT to be about helping ME, but rather examining why the typical wizard afflictions are so hard to cure in the first place, why we are like this and if there really is anything we can do to fix it, or if we are just doomed to suffer.

I have no idea what to do with my life, I spend all day in my room on my computer watching YouTube and anime and I'm so sick of this life. I want to do something but I don't know what to do, I try to leave my house but I get so anxious and I have to go back to my room, I hate talking to people too. I've tried to learn something online but I get so bored and uninterested, I tried to learn programming but I found it so boring I couldn't motivate myself to do it. I don't even think I will be able to finish high school (I'm a high school drop out, yay me) or even college because I am so lazy and uninterested. I'm diagnosed with aspergers and ADHD but I can't get prescribed stimulants because I have had psychosis. I have a psychiatrist for my depression but none of the meds ever help, in fact since I started taking antidepressants I've gained over 100 pounds in less than 3 years. My psychiatrist doesn't even prescribe me anything when I say my meds are not working, he says to keep taking what I'm already taking (bupropion). I think my aspergers has ruined my life because I am so depressed and apathetic about everything, nothing seems worth it and life feels meaningless. Everything seems so hard and insurmountable. I honestly hate living this, everyday I get older and less capable, I keep repeating the same joyless day over and over again, hoping for something to spark within and change my entire being, but I know it will never happen. I just wish I could be happy with this current lifestyle but I seem to be missing something incredibly vital to human satisfaction, but I don't know how to get it.
154 posts and 21 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

 No.231883

>>229783
>>231081

I do nothing but cleansing: https://wizchan.org/dep/res/230820.html#231299

But I still rest into lazyness, into not-doing… just getting my body ready as much as I feel to, for the time when life turns a different yet still ugly side towards me.

 No.232319

>>230668
accurate list.

 No.232324

>>231072
It is without a doubt anti Peterson, Ted's idea of what the "system" is will be very different to what others say it is. The quote itself is anti-intellectuals in general - for they think they are different or are rebelling against some majority or system, but really are incapable of any actual rebellion since they support the system they claim to rebel against. Even worse is that they themselves might be the very system they wish to rebel against, since they uphold the technological power that is the system.

 No.234588

Happiness is just "things you care about going well

You can be happy as a wizard but only if social/sexual relationships aren't something you care about

 No.234589

Happiness is just "things you care about going well

You can be happy as a wizard but only if social/sexual relationships aren't something you care about


[Last 50 Posts]

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 No.226477[Reply]

"Suicide is selfish"

What the fuck does this even mean? Is it just one final kick in the balls from normalfags before someone goes and does it? Is it supposed to make the person feel better? If I were contemplating suicide the last thing I would give a fuck about is the same people who drove me to do it in the first place.
48 posts and 5 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

 No.234577

>>234575
Assisted suicide is wrong because not every person in this world is sage enough to be able to make decisions for themselves. The vast majority of people are norpers and it is wrong to allow someone with so little capability for independent thought to kill themselves if the feeling arises.

 No.234578

>>234577
I guess we should be making having kids illegal in most cases as well.

 No.234579

>>234577
I think it is a long process to undergo assisted suicide and it provides time for a family and friends to show their love and try to convince them not to kill themselves. And doctors should they care try to treat the causes. As of now the suicidal are afraid to express their suicidal ideation which silences any chance they have of being helped causing a higher likelihood of suicide.
I think suicidal people should hold onto hope realising that they will die someday and cutting their life short may be severing them for realising some cosmic potential or vague meaning.

The point of my post is that the guy who doesn't want to see you hit the ground while out buying a bagel should become a euthanasia advocate.

I think that euthanasia might cause less suicide as it should be a more appealing way to die
.
Suicidal people think about death a lot and for a long they are capable of making a well thought out decision about assisted suicide and most would prefer it.
Always will be normalfags who lost a girlfriend or were fired from work who decide to jump from their apartment, shoot themselves in the head or leap in front of the train on their way home from work. The people who you say have so little capability for independent thought to kill themselves if the feeling arises can't be stopped

 No.234580

>>234578
People should consider having children more carefully. This won't be taught it schools though our countries want workers not thinkers

 No.234582

>>234578
Being dead is different from having a kid.
>>234579
It's just bad, if someone wants to die they should get crushed by a train.



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 No.234530[Reply]

I've had various depression blogs since 2009, before that I used to mope in the misc sections of various forums. A few of them had a decent readership, relatively speaking. One because I somewhat self-promoted it commenting on other blogs. The other because it touched on issues besides my personal life.

My most recent blog, I think I started it in 2018. idk for some reason I'm still very private about sharing personal details. And so I keep it relatively abstract and philosophical. Don't touch on biographical details. In some ways its the worst of both worlds. It has virtually no readership. And yet it fails as a diary, since I keep shit rather vague, can't really explore the personal stuff in intimate detail.

idk I just feel like theres so much emotion and thought, a volcano exploding within me, that I just want to get out and have others read. But otoh I don't really see the point or know what the goal is. I ask myself who the intended readership is? What do I want out of it? Normies to pity me and offer me useless advice I wont follow? Or maybe fellow wizard-types who do understand to co-miserate with. But then if I just want an audience who understands my specific lifestyle that's what wizchan is for. A post on wizchan that gets 5 wizreaders can be better than 500 normie readers.

I feel like theres so much I have to say and get off my chest. And yet maybe it is egocentric. Its just the typical rants of /dep/. I really loved Wizchan the first years I found it after 2014. And idk if the quality has neccesarily gotten worse, or if I'm just bored of the same topics over and over again. Even the more intellectual isms of /dep/ have been done to death. Anti-natalism, gnosticism, schopenhauer, cioran, ligotti. So maybe theres nothing to say.

Whats the point? I'm not looking for practical advice. Normie sympathy? If I just want to comiserate with similar lifestylists, I already have Wizchan. idk maybe there is the fantasy of being the next Cioran, able to turn pessimism into literature that can appeal across lines. But I don't have the talent for that. The opposite of a Nietzschean aphorism quip. Long, rambling, without a point.

Its pointless, useless, worthless. I have nothing to say. My whole biography is the story of not a single human being able to relate to or understand me. Theres no reason any reader would relate more to my words on a screen than they have in person. Writing is after all an act of communiPost too long. Click here to view the full text.

 No.234531

make the blog if you want to

 No.234532

>Whats the point? I'm not looking for practical advice. Normie sympathy?


Having your thoughts in writing and being able to come back to it whenever you want and be like "oh yeah I relate to that" or "wtf was I thinking" is really helpful for figuring your shit out. On the other hand, if you're intensely negative all the time, it can be a sucking negative experience to read and write, so there's a balance between letting it all out and trying to make a good piece. Combining those two things makes a really interesting read in my opinion.



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 No.231753[Reply]

Does anybody else feel like we're near the end or that society is going to rapidly collapse as a result of climate change, neoliberalism, warfare, political instability, COVID, etc? I feel like these end of the world type scenarios are not sensationalist fearmongering anymore like it was in the past and that the end is actually happening.
27 posts and 3 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

 No.234493

>>231754
>>231754
day by day, We are getting better in every way. day by day; Thats what they all say, when they partake in salsa chip dippin tendie strip scrimpin.

 No.234495

>>231869
wars where the other side has literally no chance of winning dont count, and african chimp out wars dont count either because they cant really stabilize anything anyway.

>>232955
the tighter control doesnt come from nowhere though, there needs to be a collapse so that a new power can take position. everyone can see the collapse coming but what they may not see is whats after the collapse.

 No.234504

Homelessness is going to explode due to corona so society is collapsing, just very slowly. In 1 generation expect lots of tent cities in nearly every city of the US.

 No.234520

I dont think it will collapse, but it will become more dystopian and shit. All those bright visions of the future died as soon as America paid a bunch of sandniggers to fly a plane into their building (+ the internet becoming mainstream)

 No.234528

>>234495
>there needs to be a collapse so that a new power can take position
not necessarily
the thing is, the "powers" are rather limited in number now. there's nothing like a rising capitalist bourgeois class to overtake and subvert the feudal establishment to its interests like what happened in "the long 16th century", the current system doesn't have powerful rivals like that
currently, power is held by something like a "global" elite class, heavily intertwined with each other
they're in control of politics, economy, media, international relationships from trade to war are bound to their interests
there's no rival class to overtake them as the masses are largely easily manipulated, political opposition deplatformed, and potential economic agents are consistently neutered (middle class enterpreneurship is weak) and integrated (i.e. FAANG, despite using entirely novel spheres of economic/social activity and being a "new player", are completely controlled by the elites)
countries tend not to have their own elite groups compete against the global ones, and fall securely under heel of regulations and global treaties and frameworks
the only one that breaks out of the pattern is china, but we don't really have much of an idea on their relations with the current worldsystem's elites

in any case, the current powers that be seem to have things strictly under control, the masses follow them, the economies follow them, the countries follow them… no real global instability exists in this globalist world order.



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 No.220642[Reply][Last 50 Posts]

Post your most relatable depression reaction pictures. I have a folder of these and looking at them, recognizing myself in them makes me feel better. As if someone out there shares my thoughts and feelings, even though the pictures are mostly cartoons and animals. It's an illusion, but somehow it helps.
228 posts and 161 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

 No.234331

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 No.234380

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 No.234509

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 No.234512

>>234509
This heckin depressed anime succubus is so me

 No.234514

>>234512
Why didn't you make fun of him instead >>232996


[Last 50 Posts]

 No.232090[Reply]

How to avoid rotting and atrophying when you're a neet? Is it even possible to completely avoid it or only minimize some aspects of it?
13 posts and 1 image reply omitted. Click reply to view.

 No.234417

>>232092
Why would I learn anything for myself? What's the point? Physical excercise is important but anything above that seems just pointless.

 No.234467

>>232090

There are mainly two proper ways, the first one is /sig/ , the second one is: https://wizchan.org/dep/res/230576.html#234175

Such body, such mind.

 No.234494

>>232090
try to stand at least 2 hours a day while reading or playing video and watching T.v. Drinking v8 is also good for keeping up on your nutrition intake due to lack of poor diet. vitamin d 200mg a day is a great benifit to reducing depression too.
Overall there's no avoiding the rot and eventually if you dont leave your neet den, you will succumb to some form of permanant mental damage due to years of isolation and no mental or social stimulation ect.
I wouldnt reccomend living the true hikki/neet life to people who want to not feel the crushing void of eternal Godlessness…

 No.234499

>>234494
> I wouldnt reccomend living the true hikki/neet life to people who want to not feel the crushing void of eternal Godlessness…

That's what wageslaving did to me and NEET life saved me from it.

 No.234500

>>234499
Yeah, me too.
The thing with the hikineet life is that you have to know how to take care of yourself. By that I mean you ought to know how to use your time in a way that doesn't create a feeling of discomfort and waste. I see a lot of people feeling the neet burnout by over indulging in video games or whatever it is people believe that will be engaging forever. Nothing is interesting forever, you need to understand how your mind works and devise a schedule or enviroment where you'll be comfortable for the long run.

Lot of people that end up a hiki or neet has some mental condition or just a melancholic or anedonic personality and of course having no outside forces to keep you occupied will just exacerbate those qualities and bring them forward.



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 No.233669[Reply]

I don't have any skills or talents and I've never had any friends.
But even if I tried to get out there and make some, I still would end up all alone. Why?
Because seeing people having skills/talents I don't makes me seethe violently. I literally can feel my core getting heated with jealousy every time I see someone do something I can't, which can be a whole lot of things.
I try to distance myself as much as I can from them because seeing people do things I can't but wish I could is enough to ruin my whole day. Sometimes my whole week even.
Hell, even seeing a person with enough money to support their interests/hobbies is enough to fuck me up bad.

How do I even fix this? How do I stop wanting to die the moment I come across a person with skills or money?
13 posts and 1 image reply omitted. Click reply to view.

 No.234170

>>233669

Because you didn't learn to accept your destiny of wizardom. You tried to look for a false happiness out there, leaving you exposed to the burly minds of normies, harming thyself.

Renounce is what made me free.

Also, people with enough money or hobbies…which hobbies? Would you really be happy with their lives or is it just your soul tauting you with sadness and desire?

Embrace what you are, deeply, mercilessly. Some pits are only to be exited the way down, this is: stop trying to be others. Be really alone on purpose, and find yourself there…. slowly.

 No.234176

>>234170
Or as mummy used to say "do not look at what other kids have/ can do"
Mummy put you on this path, mummy knows best.

 No.234233

>>234176

So wasn't she right there?

 No.234273


 No.234466

>>234273
Stop writing to me.



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