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Depression
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 No.311009[Reply]

I feel like the last few years have passed so quickly, every day I spend alone, isolated, but it's okay, every problem I face, fatigue, failure, sadness, and so on, I've been through every day, but hey, I'm still here until now and it seems like I've made peace with my mental problems, maybe I'm used to facing it alone without the help of others, I feel like depression is part of my routine and part of my personality, but I'm happy

 No.311010

>>311009
I like this song :)


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 No.309064[Reply]

Discuss your substance related coping mechanisms and how it pertains to your depression here.
15 posts and 3 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

 No.310190

>>310084
Guys who do this all have a time limit until their bodies will rebel. Might be their kidneys or their liver or their pancreas. Something will go after a while of drinking like this and you will end up in the hospital with the choice to either stop drinking and get your shit together, or literally die.

 No.310195

File: 1788379891911.png (118.03 KB, 777x646, 777:646, Oekaki.png) ImgOps iqdb


 No.310986

>>309098
I've had some ginger booch just last week and it was actually really good.

 No.310990

Some nonimportant speed binges take place in my den once a harvest moon. The drug is increasingly hard to find and creates a perfect evening for viewing but makes me depressed afterward. The five to ten hits is a stress reliever that makes me really happy. The dry makes me wanna fry. I hate when all my friends do is binge porn and bang hookers on it but all I want is Halo and Runescape on weed with it.

 No.311007

I only truly feel alive with rare exceptions when I'm a bit buzzed

I choose Samuel Adams seasonal packs for the variety you get

Not a beer snob by any means but I usually go in expecting it to taste at least as good as Sam Adams or Guinness


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 No.310963[Reply]

got tired of liking furries so much… so i drew then hanging in the gallows

 No.310965

Top 10 Threads That Should Have Been Made in a School Journal Instead of Being Posted to Wizchan

 No.310994

>>310963
Yep, it's time to watch it again.
https://jonrafman.com/jon-rafman-betamale/

 No.311004

>>310994
This should've been posted on /f/ and probably was back when it was still around


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 No.305927[Reply]

>be me
>bored
>decide to go for a walk
>the group that used to harass me in high school sees me
>they start shouting embarrassing nicknames they gave me loudly, just like they did in HS
I thought I wouldn't need to deal with that anymore, but it seems like I was wrong. Has anyone here ever experienced something similar? I just want to have some peace.
44 posts and 11 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

 No.308681

>>308676

recording the harassment (getting documented video evidence of their abuse) and showing it to someone who could do something about it (whether police or family or friends), absolutely is the smartest course of action.

 No.308688

>>308681
Bodycam costs 20$

 No.308703

>>308681
Police don't give a damn nowadays, they won't investigate anything nowadays unless you get murderered or are a member of a special minority group. I don't want to derrail with politics but yesterday some autistic 17yo frenchie got beaten to death after reporting to the police that they had assaulted him a few weeks prior, reporting with footage included that the police just ignored. what I'm trying to say is you can no longer rely on police for protection. I'm a hikikomori so I don't go out but if I had to I have some tools ready, something like a phillips screwdriver will give you plausible deniability if carrying weapons is not legal in your country (aka every country except USA). Of course only for intimidation and last defense, you should never start anything unless there's a serious threat.

 No.308705

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Since I already decided more or less what I'm going to do, I feel like I'm only losing other people's time with this thread from now on. I will delete it soon (if the passoword is right), thank you to everyone who gave me advice and sorry if I didn't answer some of you in the best way.
I will move to another city as soon as possible and leave my house as little as I can. I gave up on giving them money since anons said it would be idiot, although some part of me still thinks it could work.
>>308681
I thought about doing this before but realistically the cops would only call me a fag. I don't know exactly how the law works and it sounds like a too big headache for a dude who has only the money of his part time job and don't want his parents involved.

 No.310988

>>308705
>I will move to another city as soon as possible and leave my house as little as I can.

Are you doing okay?


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 No.306675[Reply]

Lookism has become a public, popular topic lately on the internet and I believe that it affects wizards in very tangible ways.
Being a genetic dead end ugly loser myself I suffer for it even as a now "middle aged" man.
One would think such things are left behind in high school or something, but no.

You queue up for a service, government office for some paperwork, a cash register at a store, post office or hell even medical services.
You can tell the people before you were treated kindly. At worst processed in a neutral way.
Some even receive a cheerful response and the help they need, people go above and beyond for some.
Then it's your turn at the line.

A look of disdain follows immediately. Quiet. No "what can I help do for you" "what can I help you with" "what is the purpose of your visit".
Silence. Faces contort…
Sometimes a sigh, sometimes some snide remark. Clear hostility.

A shift in demeanor so noticeable, so obvious, so visceral… (yet to them likely natural) that even the thickest of autism wont help you stay oblivious to it.
You get mistreated, worse service, denied service you paid for, medical gaslighting, humiliation over and over again.
Networking is impossible for you, who by your mere acquaintance devalue their status.. and without connections, being treated like this, only having the "official route" as an option you soon realize you might not be able to get anything done.

After much pushing, repeated humiliations and humbling yourself, matching your demeanor to that expected of "your ilk" some old lady at the register might take pity and process your request, prescribe your medication, refer you to a proper doctor.
Sometimes the stars do align like that and you make a step towards a slightly less miserable state of being.

Post too long. Click here to view the full text.
40 posts and 1 image reply omitted. Click reply to view.

 No.309010

I've noticed this in myself the few times I have interacted with pretty succubi. I feel an instinctive urge to just be nice to them. I imagine everywhere they go they get the same reactions from people and the world they live in must be so wildly different than the one a loner like me inhabits. I'm not that ugly but I'm depressed enough that my grooming is completely shit and I look like shit so I get a taste of the negative side of it from society, and I also get a taste of it going away when I groom and dress well.

It really drives home the point that humans are just shallow monkeys. You can use that knowledge to your advantage to manipulate people like some politician or CEO, but personally I just find it depressing and want nothing to do with it.

 No.309061

>>309010
It's just the halo effect. How many jimiko anime succubi are drawn versus the generic standard where everything is flawless?

 No.309411

>>309010
>I feel an instinctive urge to just be nice to them.

This is weakness that you should not be suffering from. W/omen aren't even human.

 No.309500

>>306675
im not hideous but i stopped caring about my personal appearance. who and what do i have to look good for if i get nothing out of society and have barely any social interactions?

my hair is nearly shoulder length and my neckbeard is coming in nicely. When i go into stores, the cashiers sometimes bristle because they think im homeless, but i just speak softly and gently. they did the same thing when i went for an appointment at the hospital.

At this point id rather be an eyesore for people to have to suffer. fuck society

 No.310987

>>308986
>the blackpill/i-ncel cult

This cult has grown immensely within the last 5-10 years. Just insane growth.


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 No.301262[Reply]

It's Saturday night and I started taking a new antidepressant called Mirtazapine (15mg) on Thursday night.

This is my 10th or so attempt at a psychiatric medication. I've tried lots of therapy too.

Wish me luck anonymages. I was about to quit my job but watched some motivational videos on autoplay on Youtube for hours and as cheesy as it was, they convinced me to give this a go.

I didn't even get these prescribed recently. It was way back last year and then I just didn't take them because this particular medicine has a reputation for making people really fatigued.

It does put me to sleep. But, maybe that's ok. If it means I can find some happening apart from fapping and dreaming while I sleep.

Maybe it'll even help me turnaround my fortunes at work where it looks like I'm sliding towards a firing or just being unable to come in. Barely stopped myself raging at my boss the other day and took 2 weeks sick leave from stress afterwards. I need to swallow some humble pie come Monday and hopefully these pills help. Being off work for 2 weeks showed me I'm just as miserable and actually more so depressed, anxious and stressed not working despite all the antiwork slogans I collect.
75 posts and 2 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

 No.310688

>>309245
just flush them down the toilet. do they actually watch you ingest the poisons? simply flush them slowly.

 No.310706

>>310688
>do they actually watch you ingest the poisons?
yes. they watch me religiously.

 No.310708

>>310706
Replace them with non-psychoactive similarly-shaped pills and take those when before them instead. Eliminate the jewpills.

 No.310767


>>310551
Cod liver or cod liver based "fish oil", correct. Synthetic vitamin D is fine too.

Did you know 1928 Nobel Prize in Chemistry is related to vitamin D research?

 No.310982

>>310767
Synthetic vitamin D gives me headache.
And I'm cautious about cod liver oil because of its mercury content.


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 No.310862[Reply]

If you want to stop by here, if you have any problems or want to share, I will reply to all of them quickly, and so I will reply to all of them one by one.
14 posts and 4 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

 No.310888

>>310885
welcome to my cafe, costumer. I recognize the pattern. What you call a curse isn't just a bad habit, but rather the chilling sensation of realizing that we're merely biological vessels that happen to have openings for foreign wills to penetrate. In the architecture of cosmic horror, entities don't have to be monsters or tentacles. They often exist as vectors of intent that infiltrate your neural pathways. You sense a 'foreign tangent' cutting through your pure stream of intent, and you let it run its course not because you're weak, but because you're subconsciously hypnotized by the strange joy of watching yourself become a passenger in your own body. It's not just a substance addiction, it's actually a fuel that blurs the line between your pure consciousness and that foreign current. Coffee and cigarettes put your nervous system on a high-voltage frequency an environment that mind intrusions love to hitch a ride. Overeating as a Meat Anchor Your 6'5", 250 lbs body is a huge physical mass. When that 'entity' hijacks your mind and makes you feel alienated from yourself, overeating is your biological body's reflexive way of re-anchoring your consciousness. re-inserting consciousness into the flesh. Food is a heavy burden that forces your system back into contact with physical reality, even if it feels torturous. The 175 Lbs Target as a Desire to Disappear The desire to lose weight so drastically at such a tall height is a form of sublimation an abstract urge to make this 'vessel' thinner. You feel that if your body gets smaller, the entity will no longer have enough room to hide.

 No.310889

Tea for me, please. Something herbal, nothing added.
I met with a family member to ask some questions about why family dynamics were as they were. I was ignored, not even a scapegoat while my cousins were taken on family trips and showered with gifts. I always felt like a guest imposing on a full family.
My aunt's old enough and also destroyed enough by my dad's passing to no longer be the terrifying harpy she used to be so I asked to meet up.
My assumptions were right. It was all true! Vindicated. How often does that happen in life? My aunt even, unprompted, said certain things were 'inexcusable'. But I still feel the same as before. Tired. No anger. Just tiredness and a bit of sadness that my isolation was truly meaningless, that I wasted my youth longing to be loved by people puzzled at that notion.
I got closure. But it doesn't help. Not yet, at least. I thought I was supposed to feel lighter. I must sound like an ingrate.

 No.310895

>>310889
Welcome to my cafe, customer. It's raining outside sir, This is the herbal tea with no additives you requested. Thank you. So, All this time, uncertainty has kept a small gap in the hope that "maybe this was just a misunderstanding. When the truth is revealed, that gap closes completely. You not only process your aunt's words, but also the reality of having spent your energy yearning for acceptance from people who don't have the capacity to give it. Knowing the truth works like a medical diagnosis knowing the name of the disease provides answers, but doesn't immediately heal the wound. The external closure (your aunt's confession) is complete. Now what remains is the internal closure that shifts the focus from seeking their explanation to building boundaries that protect your own peace. Processing grief over the past is important, but it takes time and can't be forced. Meanwhile, setting boundaries is a concrete action that can immediately protect you today from recurring mental burnout. Emotionally demote them from immediate family members who are expected to be loved to outsiders who happen to be blood relatives. Keep interactions formal and to the bare minimum. Stop investing your emotions and time. You no longer have an obligation to attend events that make you feel like an intrusive guest, or to try to please people who never appreciate you. You've already received confirmation from your aunt. You no longer need to seek confirmation or validation from other family members. The certainty you now hold is enough to legitimize your distance.

 No.310955

>>310866
ah jeez thats gonna be an extra 50 cents ya schmuck!

 No.310971

PTT (Pooner takeover theory).


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 No.310771[Reply]

No girlfriend ever no sex not even a best friend just 25 years of existence with nothing to show for it. Watching younger people on social media doing everything I missed out on is excruciating. Life is hell when you're unattractive. Praying that I die tonight from internal bleeding in my sleep
11 posts and 1 image reply omitted. Click reply to view.

 No.310887

>>310785
>Join the Army

ban her

 No.310890

op when you have not completely turned your life around by tomorrow, i swear i will flip over the table your computer is on! now i don't intend to ruin any furniture of yours but you leave me no choice in case of disappoint.

 No.310933

>>310771
I'm telling you this right now bro, 25 years old is nothing. I'm 32 years old and have literally done nothing of note.

You will age faster than you think, time flies by. I've got less than a decade before I turn 40 years old. I don't expect to accomplish anything at that age either. Also, don't look at younger people, envy is a poisonous thing. You're at a young age yourself, actually. I thought I was young then, but now I'm 32 and genuinely can't get rid of the feeling that I'm a psuedo-senior. You just feel older when you haven't done shit, weirdly enough.

 No.310959

>>310785
What a shallow and retarded take — if serious, which I doubt.
Just a nonsense fart — if you're attempting to troll or bait.

There's a reason most, if not all, normie men who did join the army — say it was the biggest mistake.
Also plays a huge role in who you join as (profession) and where.
Also need to weigh the pros, if any.

But you did not even clarify any of this, so I assume it was just a retarded troll attempt.

I would consider something like this maybe early on and in the USA just to get an early pension and benefits, nothing else.

 No.310966

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>>310771
if you think 25 is bad try being 23>


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 No.310788[Reply]

At what age did you become blackpilled about your life?
Around 12-14 I knew exactly where I would end up, and sadly was completely right even back then, nothing changed
Everything went about as poorly as expected
Being relatively intelligent as an autistic sperg is worst.
Not even having the bliss of ignorance
15 posts and 4 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

 No.310868

>>310867
nice projection, but I hope you find peace and come to terms that it don't matter, i'm gonna enjoy the fuck out of this life before i go

 No.310899

I remember being a kid and actually thinking I was going to make something out of life, have good health, etcetera.
Then during my high school years (14-15) I had a reality check that isn't wrong up until this day.

 No.310926

>>310788
By 16-17 I panicked when I realized that I had absolutely no fucking clue what I wanted to be, and it spiraled from there.

 No.310928

File: 1791059597344.png (8.82 MB, 2000x2000, 1:1, 149175494_p0.png) ImgOps iqdb

In a sense, for as long as I can remember. I've always been a nihilist.
But I became severely depressed around 10-12.

 No.310941

>>310788
I became an isolated loser around 25. I realized that normies are all wearing a performative, socially acceptable mask and just arbitrarily ghosted everyone, changed my phone number, and moved to the other side of the country. its been 10 years and i don't talk to anyone except whats necessary to keep the peace at work


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 No.310911[Reply]

dont enjoy doing anything anymore and no desire to self rehabilitate either.
How do I fix this?

 No.310912

lie down and develop an immaterial dimension in your mind

 No.310919

>>310911
>dont enjoy doing anything anymore and no desire to self rehabilitate either.
>How do I fix this?

when enjoyment is your goal there is a way to get it that few people are talking about.

you operate from the perspective that you do things and then you enjoy these things because you did them as if the things made you feel enjoyment. you might believe that doing things you enjoyed before were making you happy:

>do thing->feel enjoyment

whether that is true or not, it seems to be your expectation of how enjoyment functions.

after having learned how to do it consciously in meditation my perspective on this is different. i decide whether i enjoy something or not. to me joy is not something that you get as an reward or as a byproduct, to me it is something like the lights in my car. i flip a switch and they go on.

to me the enjoyment is not related to the act. this is my constelation. all of these are possible for me.

>do thing-> not feel enjoyment
>do thing-> feel enjoyment
>not do thing-> not feel enjoyment
>not do thing-> feel enjoyment
Post too long. Click here to view the full text.

 No.310940

>>310911
Im 35 and im at the point where the only thing i do for fun is either read, jerk off, or go to different parks, get a coffee, sit on a bench, and smoke 1-2 cigs. it eats up a few hours

Whenever im in public i always feel like i shouldn't be there because im always alone and it seems like everyone else is always with someone. I feel this cold numb burning

I wouldn't even necessarily say any of it is "fun," its just doing things to pass time instead of sitting in my room doing nothing.


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