[ Home ] [ wiz / dep / hob / lounge / jp / meta / games / music ] [ all ] [  Rules ] [  FAQ ] [  Search /  History ] [  Textboard ] [  Wiki ]

/dep/ - Depression

Depression
[]
Email
Subject
Comment

File
Embed
Password (For file deletion.)

  [Go to bottom]  [Catalog]  [Reload]  [Archive]

File: 1658729580089.jpg (61.37 KB, 498x518, 249:259, 1657995695133.jpg) ImgOps iqdb

 No.262244[Reply]

Anyone else fucked themselves over into bagholding for at least a few years by spending their savings on crypto? I spent over $2500 total since Dec 2020 with shit return so far, wish I sold in May/December 2021 everyday. I've made myself a poorfag, and now everything costs at least 10% more too, so I can't even fucking cope with a new GPU or something.
4 posts omitted. Click reply to view.

 No.264574

While you are sad, many years ago there was a wiz here who bought loads of chain link saying how if it hit $1 he’d be stupidly rich. Now it seems to be at $7 or so.

There’s a chain link millionaire on this very board and he thanks you very much.

 No.264575

i dont know much about crypto but it seems like you just bought at the wrong time. i looked at a few price graphs and i think the pandemic caused a lot of instability/speculation in crypto and that is just easing off now. if you subtract this disturbance from the data and just look at prices from march 2020 and now, ethereum, bitcoin, monero, and chainlink have all at least tripled in price, and i think that at least means your better off than holding fiat currency and getting fucked by inflation.

 No.264933

It might cheer you up I lost over fifty times as much as you did.

 No.264936

Isn't it an ok time to buy crypto rn? I mean when u look at the graphs of 99% of crypto it's very clear to see the patter: bubble every 2-3 years and then it bursts after a year ad nauseum:
2013 bubble, burst next year. 2017 bubble burst in 2018, 2020 bubble, burst at the end of 2021.
next bubble probably 2023 so i think maybe it's the right time idk(don't trust me on anything im just babbling).

 No.264940

>>264936
>Isn't it an ok time to buy crypto rn?

No. The global recession hasn't even hit yet.



File: 1659747028305.png (829.32 KB, 1440x900, 8:5, 1659726985575.png) ImgOps iqdb

 No.262985[Reply]

Following a series of bad decisions and consequently a myriad of losses, and perpetual rejection from peers, excluding delusive contentment my existence can no longer be justified. The vast majority of the problems I face are circular, and likely the result of innate negative characteristics, but as can be deduced from the title, I'm typing this with minimal expectations.

I suspect that I likely suffer from OCD, internet-induced ADHD, or at the very least impaired WMI, apophenia, anxiety, and an abnormal gait which results in people's perception of me being affected negatively. I tend to experience depersonalization fairly often, and in retrospect, I've verily experienced life more so as an observer than a veritable participant. I've faced rejection since kindergarten, and I haven't been able to perpetuate a friendship for longer than two years, both online and in real life. Prior to adolescence, I spent most of the time friendless, followed only by a short period of time during which someone would show interest in me, and I've spent the entirety of my adolescence in relative isolation (no contact with anyone irl excluding a few family members I live with). The relationship I had with my best friend from kindergarten ended when his mother forbade him to converse with me, and the same happened in elementary school, and later on in middle school, albeit the reasons differed. During school, I was generally the person who sat alone, and during trips, I was generally the person who had to have a friend appointed by the teacher. Persons of the opposite sex did surprisingly show an evanescent interest in me, but it would evaporate as soon as they'd notice my lack of confidence, social skills, and some other ailments. As an example, during fourth grade, my classmate's cousin was visiting and was allowed to attend our classes. She asked me for my skype, and after a few months of messaging, she expressed that she possesses feelings for me, only to stop replying after I failed to reciprocate. In seventh grade, a friend of mine told me that our classmate has a crush on me, and suggested that I ask her out after school. The best I could do was ask her over Facebook, and after the initial conversation, I didn't even message her as I failed to see any mutual interests. She decided to end the "relationship" after two weeks, and two days later decided to invite me to meet with her and her friends. In retrospect, I've failed to pick up on any cues, and due to my lPost too long. Click here to view the full text.
23 posts and 5 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

 No.264900

>>263340
He is in his late teens too. Wtf is this r9k shit.

 No.264902

File: 1663271373944.jpeg (28.75 KB, 649x419, 649:419, You are invited to suffer.jpeg) ImgOps iqdb

>>262985
>perpetual rejection from peers
That is what you get when you go after people only to alleviate an anguish who turns into a craver for relationships: usually the objectives for such desire are totally unworthy. DO NOT CHASE PEOPLE.

>induced ADHD, anxiety, etc.

Psychology (official one) is not made to help you. If you just knew that your symptoms are mostly physical due to brain stagnation of unrecycled emotions… the body accumulates them, that's why I've been talking so heavily about Ehret's mucusless system, fasting and others: when the body gets clean, the neural glia starts actually doing its job, and those things vanish.

You face rejection due to exposing yourself to it. Embrace loneliness, despise the cattle, your lamentations are so humilliating to me… because of this desire for intimact you've been dishonored, for you should always act AGAINST it, to hurt it, to kill it.

>feel inferior

Then put things on the board:
>There's no reason why you should fulfill the standard
>You didn't bully your bullies nor sabotaged but instead you were expecting some love out there, due to your miserable craving.

Also, what skills do you assume you lack? If nothing comes to your mind to say, then listen to that: there was never a damn thing to say.

Your peers at universities are just applying for wagecuckoldry pretty much, while you still hide your situation, like serving some hidden pride-made homunculi in your mind who punishes you for not fulfilling the standard- what to do? Embrace shame, open your truth, yell what you are doing and claim carelessly you don't have to give a damn about standards because that's too much hassle. Send this shame to the heck, for it is a control device in your soul. It's like your owner.

REJECT WHAT YOU CANNOT HAVE. IGNORING SUCH THINGS IS THE BEST REVENGE. HANDLE YOUR ISSUES AS YOUR ENEMIES AND SUBDUE THEM, AND EXPECT THE WORLD TO BE FULL OF DECEITS AND TRAPS.
>Make what you fear become more scared of you. Visualize your fear. Be the standard.

 No.264905

File: 1663277427023.png (374.87 KB, 1866x695, 1866:695, 4chan - the cursed destiny….png) ImgOps iqdb

>>263340
Chasing succubi like losers, even worse caring for their thoughts on them and hurrying to be the ones "fortunate" in their lives.
>vomit

 No.264910

>>262985
>perpetual rejection from peers
So you are failed normalfag.
Normgroid is not peer of wizard.

 No.264937

entire walls of text talking about relationships. not what i want to read here…



File: 1662927201097.jpeg (15.16 KB, 500x333, 500:333, images (8).jpeg) ImgOps iqdb

 No.264812[Reply]

Anyone a wizard in part due to self harm? I have mutilated my legs with cutting addiction, making it impossible to ever show my body to anyone.

I quit cutting for like a year but I'm diving back in because it feels good and I have nothing to lose.
4 posts omitted. Click reply to view.

 No.264817

%%

 No.264819

do drugs instead

 No.264824

Cut your head off

 No.264889

>>264812

Don't hate yourself, if you are going to hate something hate the world instead. They actually deserve it. The other answers in this thread are prof of it.

Have you explored psychedelics? That is a far better alternative to cope with this shitty world as well.

 No.264903

>>264889
Holotropic breathwork is safer than psychedelics, since they do not free a regulated flow of DMY inside you, they can sometimes be dangerous.

Wizards should become psychologists better than computer nerds, damn.



 No.262962[Reply]

I am returning to this board after a long period of abscence. Lots of things happened during that time, another suicide attempt, a 2 week stay in a psych ward, me sorting my shit and "succeeding" and I've significantly cut my substance abuse.

I am a wizard like all of you, and you are a wizard just like me. I discovered I could channel my hatred and misanthropy into whatever pursuit I have. You probably have the same hatred and untapped energy. I read the catalog and I just see docile, bitter men and a few wizards doing wizard things.

Think about this. You are already not part of society, you have nothing to let go off. Death is guaranteed. Nothing has value, not even your own life. You are completely free once you grasp these concepts. I will eventually offing myself, in the meanwhile I am building whatever pursuit, hobby or interest I want.

Be free, let go off your docile and bitter self. Build whatever you want to build, run over anyone that crosses your path. Make sure everyone surrounding you is scared of you, that way they cooperate to your pursuits or simply leave you alone. Fear far outweighs respect.
37 posts and 10 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

 No.264861

>>264856
>strongly geared towards the assumption that whoever is taking the test is either socially normal
The test is geared towards the assumption that you are a normal person. You know, like most other people out there.

>"payback should be immediate and harsh," which is a simple truth

>which is a simple truth
It's not. You're a blackwiz. Nothing wrong with that.


>>263365
>>264855
>>263365
You all have a very strong aptitude towards manipulation, which isn't inherently bad. Whether you want to see it or not, I don't care, I'm telling you it's there. You don't have to fancy yourself as an "evil mastermind", truth is most people are dumb and dumb people are easy to manipulate.

Manipulation is an extremely efficient way to keeping yourself safe without getting physical. Through manipulation you can terrorize a big group of people that's fucking with you. Heck, I once convinced a normie that was bothering me into giving me $500 bucks.

 No.264862

>>264861
I think a lot of these prompts are either poorly worded or simply irrelevant for what this test is trying to judge. I don't see how I can answer a prompt like "most people are easily manipulated" without strong agreement. However, that doesn't mean that I actively try to manipulate everyone or that I think it is necessarily a good practice. Prompts dealing with what I think broader reality looks like shouldn't factor into my score.

 No.264864

>I just came back to humble brag about my success and offer paternalistic and meaningless advice to all of you using the same old shit about "If I did it you can too"

 No.264866

>>263285
Cool quiz, wizzo. My results:
Machiavellianism 4.1
Narcissism 1.8
Psychopathy 1.1

So I guess I have low narcissism and psychopathy traits but high Machiavellianism? Which means what? "personality trait of being unprincipled and manipulative, cynical and an acceptance of "by whatever means necessary".

Sadly I wouldn't really call the way I am 'manipulative.' If you decide to trust anyone these days they will use it to take whatever they can from you. The ones who are 'unprincipled' and immoral or the people who prey on those who they think are weak or easy marks. If you have mental illness, autism, etc, that means you. People are fucked.

By the way: I have no clue what you're even talking about, OP. I very much doubt you'll get anyone to fear you. The closest you might come is making some normalfag think that you're so unhinged you're willing to continue to pursue them at great cost. But to be perceived that insane would require more effort than it's worth.

 No.264884

>>264862
The test is specifically about the Dark Triad, a concept used in psychology, criminology and law. It's a random internet quiz, a real life assessment is obviously more detailed.



 No.264791[Reply]

Every day I tell myself I should not eat that much, but I still end up ordering take aways. I don't know what's wrong with me.

 No.264792

you're simply an NPC incapable of making self-directed decisions without significant push from your environment. if by some off chance, your NPC parents are able to cook for you and keep you disciplined, you might be able to stave off the habit while their support lasts.

 No.264793

>>264792
Npc niggers represent 🤖

 No.264806

sanctioned threda

 No.264822

nigjak



File: 1662028836949.jpg (1.28 MB, 3300x3000, 11:10, 1661746185926516.jpg) ImgOps iqdb

 No.264410[Reply]

What is the most easily accessible substance you can overdose and die from? Specify wheter it will be a nice or a bad trip?
5 posts omitted. Click reply to view.

 No.264416

>>195018
Hang around jobs and areas with people who smoke weed, they'll know someone. Either that, or you'll find a friend of theirs who at least does lsd. Try to find the gel tabs for better quality, and make sure it's not cloudy (indication of contamination, possibly fentanyl). Ask for the chocolate bars if you still decide you want expensive but natural shrooms over lsd, but you may have to wait until spring.
The rare druggies that have LSD and shrooms are always getting kicked out though, crying shame.
Either move to Oklahoma, order some on the dark web, or order shroom syringes on the clearnet (usually legal).
>how to take care of them
https://yewtu.be/watch?v=NFEZe6Akd_I
>a couple tor sites (disable javascript in settings, don't use anything that requires javascript, even this link should probably be opened in tor)
https://www.thedarkweblinks.com/page/7/
>using monero (please don't send people btc on the dark web)
https://yewtu.be/watch?v=6ipsNfB3biY
Personally, I'm going to go to LSD (when and where legal, in minecraft) since it's cheaper and more common than shrooms. Both are pretty niche in this area anyways.
That being said, in comparison to LSD, weed, and booze, shrooms are the only thing that'll send you on a trip opens up parts of life you never thought were there.
That's not to say I suggest in any way breaking the law.
Have fun, my fellow retard.
>>195022
they do it for free

 No.264417

>>264416
I've always wanted to dabble in this forbidden lore of psychodelics, few months ago managed to acquire ten tabs and had quite a magical summer full of revelations, but also two bad trips where the gates of hell consumed me and threw me into the dimension of pain. It was fun while it lasted, but i've been wondering how are the shrooms in comparison to LSD? Heard the trips are more organic and give less synthetic, robotic, pixelated feel.

 No.264418

Why can't you guys keep suicide discussion in the fucking suicide thread.

Especially when OP is basically using wizchan as google…

 No.264450

>>264417
They're a more spiritual and godlike experience, LSD is more visual and aethereal. Shrooms make the things you see bloom, the visualizations are more in your head than open eye (in spite of being open-eye).
It's waay smoother.
I was told by intuition that the point of shrooms was to become "enlightened" (of the same capabilities when not on droogs), so don't be afraid to use it hand in hand with a habit of lucid dreaming.
They're expensive as hell in comparison though, $150 for 6g???
Get some where it's legal, it's only worth it for a first time. Organic is better, and it's fine if you can grow your own without the pigs kicking your door down, but pharmakia is cheap.

 No.264811

>>264412
>>264414
>Psilocybin mushrooms have low toxicity, and death from an overdose is very rare. One survey in 2016 found that out of more than 12,000 users who took psilocybin, only 0.2% reported emergency medical treatment. That rate is 5 times lower than MDMA (Ecstasy), LSD, and cocaine.
Don't try to overdose on psychedelics at all OP that's pretty dumb, you'll just have psychosis for a few days and thats it..
Opioids are the way to go, specifically heroin overdose would be very easy, its also painless.
Sodium nitrate is also good i heard but do your own research, not painless too.



File: 1655361288403.png (639.44 KB, 595x386, 595:386, 1652106831472.png) ImgOps iqdb

 No.260433[Reply]

"I'm gonna turn my life around tomorrow"
How many of you have been saying that all your lives. So why didn't it work?
62 posts and 5 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

 No.264775

>>264759

I could not agree more. The only person that makes sense in the movie is Cypher.

"You know, I know this steak doesn't exist. I know that when I put it in my mouth, the Matrix is telling my brain that it is juicy and delicious. After nine years, you know what I realize?
Ignorance is bliss."

"Free. You call *this* free? All I do is what he tells me to do. If I have to choose between that and the Matrix. I choose the Matrix!"

Morpheus is just another asshole cult-leader that wants minions to prop him up, so he can feel really important and have people to order around.

 No.264776

>>264775
Kinda off topic, but I wish for Matrix 4 they had humanity clamoring back at the feet of the machines and begging for a return to the Matrix. And Morpheus and the rest of the humans in Zion being rejected as outcasts, even hunted down, for ruining the dream world.

 No.264779

ive never said this. i've known i'm doomed since i was only 12-14 years old. it's a miracle that i'm still alive and never been institutionalized. it's because i'm very scared of drawing attention to myself and have been good about going and hiding in a restroom for sometimes 4 hours straight when i'm having a psychotic episode, usually involving disassociating from my body and watching myself in a 3rd person perspective. usually when i see myself in the 3rd person, i'm a clockwork machine or a robotic scarecrow instead of a man. some of these episodes and the thoughts surrounding them can be so disabling that i do nothing but cry and sleep for a full week. first one happened when i was 17.

i have nothing to live for and nothing to care about. people continually disappoint me, nobody is ever nice to me, and do nothing with me, not even play coop games i'm interested in.

the only career i've cared about in my whole life is animals. i had aspirations of being a veterinarian, but after learning more of what the job entails, my 1 childhood dream was crushed and i felt nothing regarding it. it's just the way of the world. this world is fucked and doomed all over and it was no surprise to me to learn that a large vet tech does nothing but cut off balls, kill animals, and keep animals artificially alive so that someone else can kill them later at a more opportune time. i think the way animals are treated here is proof that we're living in Hell already.

 No.264780

>>264779
I felt the same at 12-14 and I just knew it's over.

Weird shit did happen later on (like getting a big inheritance at 29) but I had no dopamine left, I don't feel any enjoyment from buying or doing anything.

It's like living as a living dead.

 No.264781

>>264779
i also had psychotic symptoms and other mental stuff at around that age. if you have been mental that early there's a chance that you will go fully schizophrenic when you reach middle age at around 30-40 on average, this even happens to normies quite often if they had early signs. life feels like a bad joke just made to torture us. currently i experience occasional paranoid delusions and my mind keeps switching in a weird way and im not sure if this can be controlled. meds also fried my brain and gave me terrible muscle spasms so i will never touch any of that again no matter how bad it gets.



File: 1658595894742.png (526.05 KB, 677x631, 677:631, ClipboardImage.png) ImgOps iqdb

 No.262111[Reply][Last 50 Posts]

Post here when you don't have enough to say for a topic and it's too depressing for the general crawl thread.
299 posts and 46 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

 No.264731

Every time I get too stressed out or overwhelmed I start sleep walking. According to my housemate I threw out a teapot that I still wanted and that I have been eating his food or throwing it away. It's to the point now that he put locks on the refrigerator. What's more scary is that I apparently can have coherent conversations during my sleep walk. It used to be that I would just mutter nonsense so he would know I was sleep walking. I'll apparently try to leave the house, but I can't figure out the dead bolt so I always fail. If I can now speak actual words while sleepwalking, I'm afraid it's only a matter of time until I leave the house. It's as though my body is telling me that it's time to throw in the towel and just kill myself. My brain is like an engine that commits suicide by going into overdrive until it overheats itself.

 No.264732

>>264728
>tfw lost my bracrabs

 No.264733

>>264728
>tfw don't know where my bracrabs are

 No.264774

>>264728
>tfw almost kms the day i first lost my bracrabs but somehow kept going.. dont even know how… many such cases

 No.264849

File: 1663096192755.png (584.84 KB, 542x650, 271:325, ClipboardImage.png) ImgOps iqdb

>>263616
im not going to write a 90 page essay explaining what went wrong with my life.
it has been something like a random ai generated lovecraftian horror with a plot twist every second sentence, i am a ragdoll. i didnt even have control of my own mind, until very recently ive lived as a completely different person from what i am, it feels like i was born just a couple of years ago and im mentally 2, i dont know, its all weird.
i dont know. i just love mathematics a lot. and related things like cryptography, artificial intelligence and physics. i like these things a lot, more than anyone in the world.
i think god loves me because god made me different from everyone else. i think i had a purpose, i was supposed to study these things from a very young age. and become extremely useful. i wanted to carry the world on my shoulders, like atlas. because i love other people very much. i once had a dream and there people lost in a forest and i was a firefly and i showed them the path out. i wish i were like that. im very proud of what i can do but i didnt do anything and its too late to do anything now.
when i die, i dont want to go to heaven. i dont want anything like heaven. i know god exists but i dont even want to meet god. i dont want eternal rest either. i wish i could wake up again when i was 4, i wish i could try everything again. i want to study a lot and contribute a lot, thats all. i want to be free, i want to be myself. i want to show you what i can see. i think maybe i will become some kind of bad ghost after i die, and i will annoy living people, because i want something that is impossible and i cant not have that. i wish i could live again, i had a life to live but i didnt live it. i think by now ive spent years every day locking myself away in a dark bedroom and i spend all day wishing i had another life where i can be myself, i like imagining the things i would do, because its all impossible and pointless now, theres no escape from where im from. i dont know.
i really believe in god. i think shes like a succubus. i cry a lot in my bedroom, so i got a case of third man syndrome, where this succubus comes to comfort me, and i think shes my anima and i think of her as god, shes like my real mother, infinitely kind and forgiving and so many other nice words. i think she made me for a purpose but i failed her completely.
i dont knowPost too long. Click here to view the full text.


[Last 50 Posts]

File: 1661708801936.jpg (16.08 KB, 300x193, 300:193, unt.jpg) ImgOps iqdb

 No.264260[Reply]

My mother has always passive aggressively asked me if i needed a therapist or if i was depressed during arguments but recently my whole family has been getting more outspoken. I know that my family has always talked about my depression behind my back. My family was having a little party yesterday and i opted to stay inside and scroll wizchan, my sister walks in and asks me if im depressed, my response "i dont know", I went outside later, my sister had obviously told them what happened because my family was trying to tiptoe around the subject of depression and self improvement stuff. I have recently been given an opportunity to leave the house for the first time and roommate with an old friend, so today my mom tells me that she told my sisters about how i was thinking about moving and they said that its not a good idea for me to be away from family knowing that im depressed and emotionally unstable even though the main source of my depression right now derives from rotting in my familys attic. it makes me feel guilty and pathetic having my family worry about me but at least i know they have good intentions.
18 posts and 3 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

 No.264528

I don't have a family.

 No.264639

>What does your family have to say about your depression?
They seem to believe it has lowered down. While it is kind of true life just keeps throwing me down, and I don't want to tell them the truth, they will definitely get mad if I do.

 No.264641

File: 1662507713712.jpg (96.44 KB, 600x600, 1:1, 1597947143765.jpg) ImgOps iqdb

They don't give a shit. Or maybe they're too addled/narcisstic to realize it is in fact depression and not laziness, which they have accused me of many times over the years even though a psychiatrist diagnosed me right in front of them. They're from a country in which "crazy" and "defective" people are simply shucked to the side or told to seek religious healing.

 No.264642

>>264528
how come?

 No.264671

I'm about to find out. I can't bear living like this much longer since I'm already 32 years old (33 next year) and have suffered from this condition for ~20 years now.

I will flat out ask if they would like to give me advance inheritance so I can fix the physical mistakes I got from both sides of the family by surgery.
And to be able to buy a decent means of transport, and be able to start a small refurbishing business so I don't have to spend 14 hours awake each day browsing meaningless websites.

If they say no, I will just take my meagre $1000 savings, move to Canada and ask for euthanasia since it is legal there and costs 300 dollars in total.

For my last meal I will preferably have steak, wine (not a big fan of alcohol, but why not) and a piece of chocolate cake.
I would like to have a childhood friend beside me when the injection happens but I don't know how realistic it is to expect him to travel to Canada for me.



 No.264555[Reply]

I hate the way i act, the way i talk everything i do. I'm dumb, socially i'm a fuckin mess.

I'm a very unlikeable maglamation of bad traits, i'm the most annoying stupid person i know, and i can't change it.

 No.264561

I hate you too, stop making stupid threads.

 No.264564

>>262111
Please sir please post small posts to the crawl thread

 No.264666

File: 1662591403273.png (3.44 MB, 2634x1972, 1317:986, Quotestalmud1.png) ImgOps iqdb

>>264555
are you jewish? then there's no reason for self-hatred, just cause you're dumb spic doesn't mean you can't be doing something for greater cause.



  [Go to top]   [Catalog]
Delete Post [ ]
[1] [2] [3] [4] [5] [6] [7] [8] [9] [10]
[ Home ] [ wiz / dep / hob / lounge / jp / meta / games / music ] [ all ] [  Rules ] [  FAQ ] [  Search /  History ] [  Textboard ] [  Wiki ]