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What do you think causes child prodigies to kill themselves in adolescene/young adult years?

Was reading this https://www.newyorker.com/magazine/2006/01/16/prairie-fire and it had such a profound effect on me.
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Ted has talked about this before. He wasn't MKultra'd, that was actually an innovative government psyop to get people to think Anti-Industrialism = Insanity. Ted was involved in an experiment where he had his thesis heavily heavily criticized. He didn't take it hard and went on to perform other academic activities. The interesting thing is that before he was involved in the experiment he had already been having anti-tech sentiments, so a better case could be made that they were trying to dissuade him (which is also highly improbable).


I wouldn't be surprised if his sex change appointment anecdote was a govt psyop too


Allegedly he went off the deep end towards the end. He began having strange theories and took a bird as his wife/lover.
In my personal opinion, it seems more likely that his deteriorating mental health was a result of extensive isolation rather than a direct result of high intelligence. From what I recall, in the twilight years of his life he was living in complete solitude and poverty. Those conditions tend to break down even lesser minds. I imagine sensitive types suffer to an even greater extent. What seems most plausible is that intelligence tends to be isolating, and isolation tends to lead to "mental illness" (in quotes because I dont particularly agree with this framework in general).

Theres a book called Empires Of Light that contains a nice overview of Tesla and his life.


>What do you think causes child prodigies to kill themselves in adolescene/young adult years?
1- Failure to satisfy the high expectations set up by their parents.

2- Realizing that perhaps they weren't as brilliant as their parents and teachers made them believe.

3- Realizing that intelligence is not that important in the grand scheme of thing because society actually favors retards more.


>2- Realizing that perhaps they weren't as brilliant as their parents and teachers made them believe.

>3- Realizing that intelligence is not that important in the grand scheme of thing because society actually favors retards more.

Parents can fuck up their children so bad even if they are not abusive, just by lying to them about "potential" and "talent" while doing nothing to actually make them develop confidence and self-esteem which is the only thing they would actually need to succeed in life.

I also agree that intelligence is not even as important, only "social intelligence" is important and confidence. Most of the people who succeed in the world are not some intelligent wonderchild faggots, they are just assertive enough to get stuff done while the ones who pride themselves in things like intelligence or how thoughtful they are usually end up sad and fucked up.

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Im thinking about it, dont have much to look forward too in this life. I work for no future, no friends, will never be in a relationship because im fucked in the head and look like a bridge troll. Whats there to stop me from maiding myself honestly?
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This seems so incredibly realistic that it's almost physically sickening. I think this is almost exactly how it will be.

Its also quite relatable since I've been in the exact situation where female therapists were digusted by my pathetic existence and overwhelmed by my depressed outlook on life until they had to send me to their male higher ups because they were to incompetent to handle it.


I don't know which trailer you watched, the one I looked at has him saying he is depressed and is only like 30 seconds long; he doesn't mention success in life. I can't remember the specifics, but I think he had been in therapy since he was a toddler so he'd been through all the healthcare/lifestyle interventions which is why he was allowed to euthanasia in the end.

On the outside, he's actually more successful than many here because he participated in the supportive state and community. He participated in the hobbies, classes, volunteering, had friends, hobbies, and as such evidenced he found life unbearable despite the claims of what fixes the mind.

You are inserting a lot of aggressive assumptions, possibly because you are envious of his position in a western welfare state and his low social value being fat? No he isn't some magical ideal but he's still one of the few examples of someone peacefully facing euthanasia because he doesn't find value in living on film. And with a family that understands after seeing decades of struggle.

It doesn't matter, imageboards aren't the place of meaningful conversation.


Ok then it seems more like chemical imbalance. I assumed he was a loser/poor because morbidly obese people like him often times tend to be


Not him, but I don't care what the excuse is. As soon as the state or private entities are permitted to kill, they will make an industry of it. That man was plainly and simply murdered. Fuck the pigs that did it to him.


Medical professionals and corporate bureaucrats are some of the most corrupt individuals on the planet, perhaps moreso than military, intelligence, and political groups.

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The difference Ive noticed is that there are a ton of moralfags trying to push people into therapy or convince people not to go through with it. it gives me a fake feeling like they have an ulterior evil motive. you really cant even talk on wizchan without the demons crawling around lurking and watching and waiting to attack
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Come to think of it, an extremely good method of discouraging people on the internet from committing suicide is by telling them that they can fail and end horribly wrong. At a time like this, perhaps it is the only thing that saves a person.


My failure to commit suicide (and the permanent consequences that it resulted in) is the reason I have not attempted suicide again. I have even seen a case where a man jumped from 8 stories in Russia and survived with a horrifyingly disfigured face, multiple amputations, brain damage, and lifelong paraplegia. That was always my primary motivating factor not to commit suicide.
But now I have a reason to live, and until I complete my goal I will not die.


>At a time like this, perhaps it is the only thing that saves a person.
I still take issue with the assumption anyone should as it's precisely this attitude that produces worst case scenarios and then uses taxes to drag it out for years.


I unironicaly joined dignitas bus live in Shitland and was detained after being spiked CTO travel restrictions are a bitch,
What I really need is something that prevents someone interfereing with my suicide so I can die in peace


>take cyanide
>activate bleach gas
>go unconscious
>puke most of the cyanide out while asleep, but not before suffering brain damage
>chlorine gas melts your eyelids shut and gives you permanent blindness
>throat burned to the point that you need an oral catheter
>lungs damaged to the point that you need o2 for life
>gas dissipates
>police go in and haul you to a hospital
>they rule you insane and your brain damage prevents you from making the case that you need the "services" of dignitas
>you live for 60 years as a near vegetable


Pretty much, that's why I like the idea of attacking the hospital to prevent treatment.
Unfortunately I lack the resources to do this mostly hoping I can get them to lift the fucking CTO so I can just fuck off and die already.

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I feel tired at all times, my limbs feel like lead weights, and just walking 10 feet to the bathroom causes tachycardia. I am not fat and eat quite healthy, I've also tried avoid caffeine and stuff like that but it doesn't even matter. Am I the only person suffering from this? This condition makes me depressed, I want to do things but I physically can't enjoy doing anything that requires me to stand or even just sit up, so I just lay in bed all day
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Yes, another booster shot will do the trick.


he can decline and walk away

ok. done now?


I went to the doctor for that problem and they diagnosed me with depression. I don't feel sad, I don't have a feeling of emptiness, apathy, or low self-esteem, I just feel tired, but I think it's because I didn't do physical activities for a long time, when I did sports the fatigue went away.


>done now?

It's called The Booster because it accelerates you to your grave.

An emo got all 8 boosters because she liked the scars the needle produced. Now when she cuts the veins on her arms, no blood comes out!

What's the difference between a healthy individual and a living corpse? One free Dunkin' Donut.


Doctors are greedy faggots and most "depression" diagnoses are a joke since it's usually caused by things related your lifestyle that can be changed and it's not some kind of chronic mental illness.


Its like whenever I begin to enjoy something it just instantly goes away, like I can enjoy a book or a movie but as soon as I become conscious of it my brain zaps it away, it has started becoming worse…

Its not only that either I can't remember anything as well as I used to I can't conversate or be interesting anymore, I used to be so intelligent a couple of years ago, I used to get into arguments online and make funny jokes that were witty one day someone told me I was actually funny so it started fading away I cannot be complimented on a trait I have without it being zapped away wtf is wrong with me??!
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I'm getting older and I was just a curious young adult a couple of years ago and now going into my mid 20s, I just don't feel any joy in anything anymore, i don't get why most old people don't off themselves.


This feels too severe to be just growing older, also I am not that old either, I am only in my early 20s.


>i don't get why most old people don't off themselves.
I've wondered the same thing. This is all that life is, there's no "waiting" for things to become better, more interesting, etc. This is it. Worse part about it is that our best days are behind us, and losing your wits, intelligence, and interests will accelerate over time with age.


>curious young adult
No such thing, you were merely a teenager with some remnants of childish innocence left. The world wants to strip you of your innocence as soon as possible, and if by 18 you still got some of it left, then you're metaphorically thrown out of your cosy bed and have to make ends meet somehow. But usually, by 18, the drive to explore is long gone in most people, as the school system manages to crush that, on top of the normie peer pressure around getting laid, starting at around 16.

I'm a late bloomer. Normie society expected me to go to a university and live in the big city by myself, clean up, study, at the age of 19. I looked like a kid, got carded all the time when buying booze. I was yet to grow 5cm in height in the next years. Of course I dropped out.


It's the same for me, it feels like these good things came in short streaks and then just vanished completely for no reason, none of these good streaks last long either and they just end abruptly.

I used to actually go on public discord servers and enjoy talking dumb shit or partake in discussions on chats and imageboards and now I have a hard time even staying focused when posting in a thread on here.

I also used to enjoy listening to podcasts or just watching videos and now I always find myself desperately looking for interesting stuff to watch/listen like a lost retard.

It's honestly fucking sickening that all I can think of is stuff on the internet since that also shows me how much time I wasted behind screens and I think a lot of this boils down to not having a social life.

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This thread probably had been made over a million times on the internet and I suppose now is my turn. It'll be very long so if you don't want to read I'd understand. I will probably try another board if I don't get any answer so don't be surprised if you see my story somewhere else in the following months. I've lurked around here for about 3 years now and I feel like there's a chance I could get an answer here. Still I doubt I will find a definitive answer here, or at all. I guess I'm desperate.

Long story short, I'm extremely addicted to PMO. Or even MO. I've read Your brain on porn and the easy peasy method twice. I've probably tried to stop porn over a hundred time. In fact, I'm CONSTANTLY trying to stop. Half the time I PMO I tell myself "okay one or two times and then I stop". I also tried to "regulate" (whatever that means) my addiction (I know it doesn't work). I'm 25 now, I have been a NEET since I'm 16 or 17, I was still registered at high school but didn't go anymore. You can say that at 19 I was officially a NEET because since I never worked, never studied, talked to anyone my age, nothing. I have other health issues that I won't detail here. I never had any friend, any girlfriend, in fact apart from my parents I don't talk to anyone. The path for me to be a wizard is rather unavoidable at that point.

So back to the main topic… I started masturbating very early, around 7 or 8 years old. Fun fact, I'm circumcised. So much about circumcision avoiding masturbating… I wouldn't even ejaculate at that point but still did it more and more often! It started with prone masturbation and I never masturbated in a normal way, like NEVER. I tried but couldn't get an erection "normally". I'm just unable to get an erection with my hands and keep it. Around 11 or 12 years old it basically became daily. It might have been daily before that, but it's the first occurence I remember where I masturbated myself at least once a day. During middle and high school, I easily masturbated up to 3 times a day during school, and over 5 times a day during holidays. When I watched porn, I edged as much as possible. So I literally spent months of holidays masturbating, and edging.

The lack of motivation caused by PMO is HUGE. The amount of laziness it causes is unbelieable. I successfully stopped 2 weeks at best, and when I did my daily life improved soooo much. I'm not talking about my life, I'm not saying I got superpowers only that mPost too long. Click here to view the full text.
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yes but I'm too socially akward to use a pc in a library, not to mention it'll just restrict myself more than I would like since I enjoy downloading everything which isn't really possible with a library bandwidth.

I think I'm depressed enough thanks and it doesn't even necessarily related to porn addiction as it pushes you to fap even when it's flacid. Most of the times I fap now I just don't want to, but still do it.

I could stop to drunk myself daily but can't stop watching porn and fapping.
Stop saying it's an addiction because it's ridiculous. It would be the same if I said "oh you know alcohol isn't an addiction" of course not everyone watching porn will get addict, that doesn't mean it isn't an addiction for some people.

And you're saying "stop yourself from watching porn" as if I didn't already tried a hundred time already… Say to an alcoholic "you just need to stop drink".

I've spent most of my life watching porn, in fact if you add it up I've watched porn more than I talked to people, I watched porn more time than school, I watched porn more than I played video games, I watched porn more than anything else. I just can't stop.


>And you're saying "stop yourself from watching porn" as if I didn't already tried a hundred time already… Say to an alcoholic "you just need to stop drink".
maybe it is a painful truth, but all you really need to do is stop, stop acting sorry for yourself and pretending that you're powerless because it's easy, if you want to stop then you just have to do it, there is literally no other way to stop doing anything, no one is going to cast a magic spell and make you stop, you have to do it yourself


Go to a 12 step program get a sponsor and call them when you wanna cum to PMO


You can't quit it cold turkey, this is nearly impossible and gonna cause negative symptoms that will ruin all the benefits you might derive from it.
Most likely, if you were to successfully achieve this feat, your body would have to have been trained into it.
This is the second time I'm attempting it with a gradual approach. It's very time consuming but it's got the greatest chances of success.


I think easy peasy is retarded. You're just trying to space out the coom addiction until it stops significantly interfering with your quality of life. Prolonged nofap is basically for spiritual purposes but a normie can get by with just lofap and semen retention

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Anyone else get this? I'm depressed because of traumatic things happening to me in the past; I'm still the same scared little boy inside despite my attempts to prove to myself otherwise. I've heard of depression being described as "aggression turned inward" and I identify with that. I just wish I wasn't so angry at myself for getting bullied that I refuse to do anything to help myself because "what's the point?" I already got bullied anyway and I'm a husk of who I used to be much less, who I could be".
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I think you're missing the big picture of what that guy is saying. I've beaten up people who bullied me before. So what? They still went on to have good lives and I'm a depressed loser. 99% of your life is predetermined, mostly by your genes and the socioeconomic background of your family. Throwing a few punches is unlikely to change the trajectory of your life.


That guy was literally saying that if you aren't attractive enough then you will be the victim or prey of normals all your life. I proved him wrong.

What you are saying is also quite crab-core. If you consider the way normals live a good life then go ahead and leave. Try to fit in with them instead of forcing yourself to post on a site like this.
>I've beaten up people who bullied me before. So what?
You protected yourself, that should be basic and elementary for everyone. Plus shaming normals is always a good thing.


>I'm a depressed loser.
Why do you consider yourself a loser?


ntayrt but I like this question – it's seemingly unassuming and I think most wizards might struggle with emotional based self-esteem issues


Boring normie.
It was neither my nor my bullies sole "fault" that his parents divorced and he was obese and the teachers were gormless retards.
Your appeal to essentialism is lame and untrue.

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So, it's second of January 2023, and I'm 28 years old, soon to be 29, and I'm starting to wonder why, I don't know if it's the closing of my 20s that finally start to sinking in, a lot of dumb decision, wrong ideas and overall stupid behavior in my part since I was a little kid. I'm a NEET right now, but thing are coming to a close to me, parents are pushing me to do something about it, but I don't want to spent my years as wageslave, I truly don't know, and I'm full of regrets about things, I'm starting planning to rope myself at my 29th birthday, it wasn't a bad life, but not great either, wish I was born different like the normal guys that I saw when I grow up and in college, they seems to work through thing with such effortless, and I struggle a lot of emotional things, my mother is bipolar and I have a uncle that suffer from mental illness too, maybe I do have a mental illness, don't know, just want peace of mind and spirit, life is struggle mentally and emotionally for me, even though I have a comfortable life, and I do acknowledge that a lot of dumb shit that happen to me was my fault. I truly don't know, I wish to finally have a understand of why I have that life I have and why I'm the way that I'm.

Just a random rambling, need to get it out.
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How does that work? Do you need a reference from someone already in the military to get in? That's fucking gay.
Cybersecurity is a great gig though; that's the one I enlisted for but I ended up getting disqualified due to having foreign relatives living abroad.


you need about five references. They can't be your friends or family, they have to be authority figures like your boss or a professor. I didn't have enough references to do the application.

The can army is notoriously dysfunctional anyways. Leddit bitches about it every time it gets raised


Mentally and physically disabled

At this point, I'll probably have to settle for mind-numbing slave labor. I remember years ago doing mTurk for many hours per day, making pocket change in my parents basement. It literally never began for me.


>15-20% permanent minimum wagie wagers/manchildren
Thats me. What stings is my cousins all seem to be doing really well and are generally happy people. Having to be around them feels humiliating at this point.




I live with my parents and I'm an only son. I'm a psychiatric patient too, I need meds to function.

My parents separated some days ago. I lived the same exact scenario when I was a kid. My father cheated on my mom, my dad left, I became content, the succubi left him and he came back, got depressed and I never got out of that depressive "episode".

The exact same thing might happen again. I am remembering all the trauma of that moment I had buried. I don't have to explain why I hate my parents or my father or how they influenced me into turning into a wizard, or how being around my parents negatively impacts my mental health, no one will read it. I just feel disoriented and I got no one to talk to and I'm trying to calm down.
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> "Stability" is the keyword
That's because society would rather try to normalize anyone 'abnormal', even if it means keeping them permanently lobotomized and sedated. This happens out of an instinctive drive to attack anything different, as well as for the convenience of normals and to preserve the status quo. All of psychiatry is centered around identifying outliers and normalising them - often not for the good of the patient, and often not in the best interests of the patient.

What they are "treating" is part of your core identity and characteristics. They don't like who you are and want to change you.

Be careful and try to open your mind.


Also because BPD people are difficult to be around
They strain relationships


>That's because society would rather try to normalize anyone 'abnormal', even if it means keeping them permanently lobotomized and sedated
Mate, I understand your perspective but it's wrong. I am a severe patient, other severe patients like me lose functionality in everyday activities. Doctor talk to us about "stability" because of severity, we belong to the psych ward, if I'm not stable I go back to the ward because I can't take care of myself. Imagine not being able to groom yourself or being bedridden due to symptoms. This is why we need daily meds and therapy multiple times a month.

>but that happens with wizards too

Well most wizards are mentally ill too, whether people here like to admit it or not. There's nothing wrong with being a loony btw.

>They strain relationships
Yes and no, this applies more to succubi. I don't strain shit because I prefer to be a loner, and a good chunk of BPDs are loners like me.

>Also because BPD people are difficult to be around

Yes, men with BPD show a very distinctive criminal and violence-prone behavior that succubi with BPD don't have. Doctors are technically trying to keep me out of jail too. Studies show a good percentage of male inmates on any prison meet the diagnostic criteria for BPD (20%-40%).


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My father decided to come back because he regrets his "bad decision".

My mom is now defending him, scolding me at the same time. I hate my parents, I'd kill myself if I had to keep talking to them, luckily I am moving out soon.


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Father is snoring in his bed almost butt-naked as if nothing ever happened. Now parents will start threatening me with police again if I don't leave soon.

When things are looking bleak in life, remember hell has no lowest floor.

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I live with my parents and they are npcs, the only good part is that in a box they have plenty of meds, like nolotil. I am planning write a suicide note and then swallow all the meds and hang myself, if hanging doesnt does it, the meds will. Also, before of the idea of the hanging i had the idea to burn myself, put the lighter in my chest and wait to reach the heart and burn it. Who is the best idea? I heared that with hanging you can stay 45 min waiting to death
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>I've been suicidal before and I researched hanging. I will say that, unless your a professional and trained hangman with the right equipment and a gallows, hanging is not a quick and painless death. If you tried to hang yourself your more likely to end up slowly choking out for up to 80 minutes while your neck has to carry the weight of your entire body, blood flow is cut to your brain, the tendons in your neck begin to tear and your body twists in agony. There is a high chance the rope will snap and you'll regain consciousness except now your spinal cord is fucked and you have brain damage. Whether you have a proper knot or not it doesn't matter, hanging is painful and doesn't necessarily kill you.
I attempted suicide by overdose about three years ago and suffered permanent brain and cardiovascular damage. If suicide fails you'll wish it succeeded, OP.
Don't try something reckless.


You two are normalniggers who do not belong to this website and both of you need extremely tortured to death for telling blatant lies to men here. I hate you normalmiggers.


your cells in your body want to live
and your cells in your body are responsible for your dreams,hopes,fears,decisions

i think suicidality isnt really a wish to die, its just a wish for suffering to end
i think 100% of sane sober people killing themselves regretted their decision before their death
their cells recognized the danger of the situation and made the suicider regret it


This is a place for adults, please try to be more educated with users.


If life was easy to create then you wouldn't put much emphasis on it. People who live in primitive conditions with untarnished bodies that aren't pumped full of hormones and pollutants have 10 kids easily. 7 of them die and 3 survive to adulthood. Nobody gives a shit about the 7 who died.

In the west, first off, people don't have kids between ages 18-26 when it would be healthiest. They have them at 30-45.

They need IVF, they need fertility treatments, they have 6 miscarriages before 1 healthy baby is born and even then it's likely an aspie or autist.

Now that baby and person get an inflated ego and think their life is invaluable and extremely precious, because it took unimaginable effort and money just for him to exist.
In reality his life is no more valuable than that of a dead third world mudhut dweller who died at 4 due to pneumonia.

Human life isn't precious. It's just harder to create in the west than most other life forms like dogs or cats.

People in the west are so scared of death as a result and want to live until age 120 at all costs.

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