/dep/ - Depression

>>307804
the blackpill/i-ncel cult is jewish social engineering to force hopelessness in the young male population, which if embraced leads down to two ends:

1. transgenderism (which is ultimately population reduction)
2. suicide (which is ultimately population reduction)

I've noticed this in myself the few times I have interacted with pretty succubi. I feel an instinctive urge to just be nice to them. I imagine everywhere they go they get the same reactions from people and the world they live in must be so wildly different than the one a loner like me inhabits. I'm not that ugly but I'm depressed enough that my grooming is completely shit and I look like shit so I get a taste of the negative side of it from society, and I also get a taste of it going away when I groom and dress well.

It really drives home the point that humans are just shallow monkeys. You can use that knowledge to your advantage to manipulate people like some politician or CEO, but personally I just find it depressing and want nothing to do with it.

>>309010
It's just the halo effect. How many jimiko anime succubi are drawn versus the generic standard where everything is flawless?

>>309010
>I feel an instinctive urge to just be nice to them.

This is weakness that you should not be suffering from. W/omen aren't even human.

>>306675
im not hideous but i stopped caring about my personal appearance. who and what do i have to look good for if i get nothing out of society and have barely any social interactions?

my hair is nearly shoulder length and my neckbeard is coming in nicely. When i go into stores, the cashiers sometimes bristle because they think im homeless, but i just speak softly and gently. they did the same thing when i went for an appointment at the hospital.

At this point id rather be an eyesore for people to have to suffer. fuck society

>>309168
sounds too ideal and you could just get a single studio apartment for similar prices depends where you live. much rather just have a 1 bedroom apartment, its actually my dream. just wouldnt like seeing others in the halls

I have neetbux but am struggling to find a room to rent in socal. Never moved out

>>309271
Why not just live on public land? If you have bux you can buy a car and solar panels and tents and stuff. I would need about 1k per month to sustain that lifestyle, but only because I spend $400 a month on weed. Most of the costs are start up costs.

It is not O.K. that I have to live here with him. He is not too gay or demanding but he is dumb and takes his sons wizardry never and his food is barebones and we both almost starve. Sometimes we steal beef t-flank steak but I am hungry a lot. Beer recently got phased out as a basic at 30 3/4years. I make him mad and ornery and he makes me sick and hungry. I recently took a motorcycle from him and he is gay about how it gets used lol. I am broke always him almost never. Trying to get beer has done me in today yet he sits up there drunk and asleep like a weightwatchers yogi. How frazzling and inane can it get? Bear

>>309000
it's a week before pension payment and the ma only has enough for the credit payment on her account that goes at the end of the month. she figured out that if you don't have enough, they just take it as soon as she has money on her account with seemingly no fees as punishment, so she went and withdrew some of the money today to buy snacks and fruit (instead of just eating the food with have in two fridges and freezer). she also talked to the lady at the bank about another loan, a refinancing one where she pays off everything she owes and then just has a smaller flat rate… oh and she's renovating the windows and buying new carpets.

i spent like an hour arguing with her but there's no point. some people are just really terrible with money and don't have a frugal bone in their body. why can't she just live within her means? of course, the more in debt we are, the more she pressures me to go work. we were pretty much poor my entire childhood because of my dad's retarded decisions, now we're poor because of hers.

>>309370
>belittle
I lashed out at them once, they cut all contact with me after that.

Our entire breed is subhumans somehow, so we're comfy right here together!

>>309412
>Our entire breed is subhumans somehow
What do you mean?

>>309431
I think he means that we're very unlucky in all departments, as most people here are ostracised by their peers, family, and friends. Most of us have either dead end jobs or no jobs, a lot of us don't also look good which eventually set us on the path of embracing wizard-hood because we can't have anyone either and trying to get someone will only worsen the pain. Also a lot of people here have been abused as well.

I can be completely wrong though, maybe people here are smart white collar workers and maybe they get well with their families, but I am certainly treated like a subhuman by people around me, of course though no one is subhuman, everyone feels pain one way or other. If anything I believe people on this little image board are profoundly human.

>>309409
I had the same experience with my older cousin. He was an ass to me constantly. Belittled me, called me fat, said I need to wear a bra because I am a fat bitch with tits and other nasty crap. One day he came to my home and wanted to play on my PC. He didn't ask. He just straight up told me 'Get up!'. I got mad like never before for some reason. This asshole came into my house and just barks orders like that. It was infuriating.
I yelled at him and told him everything I thought about him. He was about 17, I was 12. Ever since then we don't talk, even when meeting with my relatives he doesn't speak to me. And I don't mind that, fuck him.

>>309395
How does it not make sense? Its literally the plot of Amadeus.

some people just are insufferable and only live to torment others
can't you just block him or filter him or something?

>>309393
>The worst part is that my "envy" has moved from wanting a catalog like his, to having now, in my own estimation, attained that catalog
You mean to say that his demeaning behavior may have contrubted to you succeeding in your goals? Perhaps that's why he does it. He wants to see you shine, and as a man, he goes about pushing you down the right path through keyboard combat. He knows that you know what he can do and he aims to show you how confident and vivacious you too could be once you reach his height.
>to envying his pride and arrogance and self-assuredness.
If you have achieved your goals, then you ought to feel pride. You by all means should self-assure yourself that you are able to do what you put your mind to.
>…as a supposed Christian
>As a Christian I shouldn't…
Stop shackling your healthy male emotions "as a Christian" and instead embrace your them as a tool with which to grow.

There is no shame in envy. To want what others have only becomes a sin when you seek to take it from them. To use your envy as a tool for growth and advancement towards your greater goals, then envy is good.

Not in a hobby but I was the joke at work. The supervisor signed me up for insulting mailing lists for junkmail to my house, sent strange emails from other employee's open computers so I looked like a freak trying to respond to them (people I respected and thought they were having an off day)… I had to quit finally, they guy was unfireable and I wasn't going to stick around for that. I recommend finding another circle of hobbyists: keep the hobby but find another crew.

>>309434
Yeah I used to be bullied by my coworker too. It sucks when you have to go in day after day being called a retard.

>>308868
>buried
you DO know japan has made burials illegal, right? they just cremate people and have trouble with space of ashes vases

>>308886
burials, cremation, it's all the same to me, I just don't want my remains to stay in Eur*pe.

yeah would be really good to know how much i have left.

Not really, it's a slow death. You should envy those guys who suddenly die from heart attacks or ODs

even when I was more content during the early stages of NEEThood (when I wasn't harrassed daily to find work) I would have liked knowing I had 6 months left. I could have wrapped things up rather nicely. I hate how I could be living shit for decades and then once I find a bit of peace I end up dying. Not so much dying I guess, but the painful process of it, as it usually is.

I don't think police hates you, it's more likely that people just vote ignorant and rude individuals in power

yeah people tend to like to make your life worse
I don't see any way out except neeting, drugs or suicide

It's really tough to go through life with no positive reinforcement

The queues are always stupidly long too, i have sometimes had to wait hours just for some miserable lady to pick up and give me "motivational poster" ass advice

AFAIK, a door slam and a gunshot would be indistinguishable over the phone line.

They are designed for normies with normie problems "My succubus left me man!!" "Chad cheated on me !" or some other studpid reason. I texted one around 2013 in my country and gave them a very blackpilled reason for wanting to die, they couldn't even use the le happy responce they just said hope it gets better please call the police LOL

>>308735
whatever the reason is these hotlines exist, they basically 'do nothing' except call the cops on some callers

My country basically has shut them down. Mental health awareness fatigue has set in. Its an addictive habit ringing them up anyway.

>>301325
If you don't need money, then get friends is not a need. I've tried being friendly and nice with people but always think that being a good guy to them is being weak so they surprise when I don't tolerate their injustices over me and automatically they consider me a threat to their environment so unless that I need money or stuff like that, I don't have any interest to know new people. At least until I get a friend that don't want to use my kindness to mock me around or use me.

>>301325
It took me awhile to find friends on discord. If you play video games you gotta find them in the games you like. Popular games are easier to find people but not high quality, high quality meaning good match for you. I found a friend while i was living in a hotel playing dark souls remastered on switch like 5 years ago and still play with him to this day. He found more people and they became my friends too. I also found friends playing pubg. I think for men and especially autistic men which i was very autistic before, it’s better to have a shared goal or objectives and the small talk is just a ctach up or time occupier inbetween gameplay. This could also be applied to a mens shed or something where you go to build objects or whatever else. When you’re socially awkward it’s better to have something to focus on objectively until you gain enough levels to tolerate and then later enjoy small talk. It took me years but now i enjoy myself with random people from good discord groups. I count myself lucky. I could have easily never recovered.

I am alone because having connection to the Inter is not equal finding people like myself.

>>301325
Also, bump.

Yesterday, a simple question of what to eat for the next dinner / breakfast was turned into a heated negotiation with various rhetoric tricks. Old good tactic - put your terms as "suggestion" and proceed to manipulate your opponent of a family member into agreeing with you. If the opponent proposes something else - proceed to ask dumb questions, suggest new ideas, rephrase your opponent's idea in the wrong way and so on. I am stuck with this faux-retarded highly educated person and my only way out is to abandon my decent job. Ugh. And the worst thing is, I actually do care about them so just grabbing my laptop and HDDs, some bags of clothing, and going away from them to a small rented apartment on a taxi is not for me

Regards,
>>309202

>>309203
P.S.

No matter how I tried, instead of finding people like myself, I would be greeted with… well, enough negativity against my "attempts to look bigger than I am", as they used to put it.

I
Have
Given
Up

Just had a realization.
All the times I thought "well someday"…
Someday isn't even today.
That day of action, that one day where dreams come true was 10 years ago.
It just never happened.
It passed by like any other day.
A day of inaction. Then a month and year and a decade.
It should have been. Long ago. I should be reminiscing about those days today. I don't even have the fond memories to look back on.
Failure? Is it a failure if you never tried? I don't know.

Facing mortality like this feels impossible.

>Every time I think of death, the end of my self I can feel my brain fighting it, pretty much actively trying to shut down.

that's the little you who somehow got into the cockpit. there are deeper parts of you, how bout letting them into the cockpit and kick the little you out?

>I screwed myself, my health because
if you don't want to die then how come you aren't healthy. that'd be the number one thing you would make sure to handle because it is the only thing that can give you extra years.

pasta, pizza, soda and candy don't give you extra years, they shorten your life.

>How do you deal with the inevitability of death?
i'm healthy and i try to make the best out of the little time i have left. i'm not that good at using my time and i am way slower then i would like to be because of the constant molestation and hostility around me that i keep having to pick myself up from but what matters is that i am getting better. the reason i don't worry about death or getting old is because i trust in my abilities and in the preparation i am doing, also i was never tricked in this cultural delusion of all the idiots who prioritize in controlling everything and everyone and in the process never even felt the present moment. the worry you experience might be the result of the state of greed that you have accepted as normality. normal people are just fuel for corruption, they aren't alive the way i am or the other people who try to live a life of wisdom. they are just imposters who get so jealous that their circuits jam when they see someone alive. i'm sure you have never found the good stuff in life so you are like all the others who haven't. it's tragic but i don't think you can be helped. until you question the peer pressured life, your life will feel empty, shallow and distant. the real you is sitting passenger while the little you flies the plane. if you were sitting in the cockpit yourself, you could fly to where it is nice but passengers don't get to make decisions, or believe in free will.

just quit being a passenger and fly yourself.

>>305937

>>306014
Halts? 14 years old? Or maybe we're on a computer that a 14 years old got as a 9th grade gift.


>>305937
>>306172

Count me in!
I still have some issues with the "worth living" part despite having it objectively easy these days.

And the death is a "taboo" for me too, not the EL QUERO VIVRE burning desire to live, but rather… rather…

>>306169
Peter griffin manga edition ? pic

>>306722
regression for someday- by what is there

Creatine Monohydrate should be supplemented because to get a full working dose one would need to eat an entire chicken dinner's worth of beef. It's vital in the human body's functions that relate to not being unhealthy. I've been taking it for years and I'm very strong and smart and large.

>>307661
That seems like a lot to take in but many men's health support supplements cover much of that in two doses. Ideally much of this shouldn't be supplemented but rather acquired through an actual balanced diet, but that would probably give a caloric surplus for the average NEET.

>>308003


I ask a chatbot (cheap DeepSeek, nothing fancy) to be a decent time-managing coach for me and tell DS some tasks off my head… get a timetable… tell DS some more… get a bigger timetable - bam! Now I have a three hour time-table for tomorrow :)

>>308402
Update: it's done and many more

>>303176
I have bought a vial of synthetic vitamind D, diluted in water, thanks to a hint from >>305097

I feel less anxious and not as doomed as before. I think half of my depression is gone.

As a soy/lentils eater, I decided to start eating B12 without even getting tested.

>>307661
Cool. Which brands I should ask my AI assistant? I am going to get something similar.