[ Home ] [ wiz / dep / hob / lounge / jp / meta / games / music ] [ all ] [  Rules ] [  FAQ ] [  Search /  History ]

/dep/ - Depression

Depression
[]
Email
Subject
Comment
File
Embed
Password (For file deletion.)

  [Go to bottom]  [Catalog]  [Reload]  [Archive]

File: 1746750156701.jpg (66.2 KB, 850x622, 425:311, __original_drawn_by_chan80….jpg) ImgOps iqdb

 No.300364[Reply]

I thought I was a hobby guy who like to spend time on his hobby alone but thats not true, all I care is to talk to people, thats why I come here everyday because I want to talk to someone. I am not an autist asperger with countless of niche hobby and a high IQ, I'm just a low temperture IQ monkey who thought he could fool himself and tricks his brain to think he is a genius but Im not. I wish I was made to do something but Im just a lazy parasyte, it sucks
40 posts and 8 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

 No.302074

>>300364
>>300364
I feel like I am more retarded than I thought I am. I blamed it on being socially awkward, but I really believe I am slower than most people around me. I earn far less than most people in my neighborhood. Everytime I sought out someone to listen to me or read something I wrote, I get this gaze from them like I'm a special ed kid and they immediately want to find a reason to leave my presence. And when you are older its like people are less willing to call you out, but their subconscious body language immediately betrays their judgements.

 No.302075

>>300402
i like the end theme.

 No.302076

>>300637
Wizchan 2025
Damn this site is really getting old. Wizchan 2035 won't even be wizchan anymore.

 No.302077

>feels lonely
>starts thinking that maybe the hikkiNEET life is not for me and I'd be happier if I make friends and seek validation from others
>start imagining myself getting a job
>gets filled with so much primordial dread, feelings of loneliness and any other concerns get vaporized instantly
Sorry. Not normifying today either.

 No.302507

>>300364
try psych2go channel - they have videos on stuff like "touch starvation" and "wounded extrovert".


Because you dwell on introverts' den, but now you realize you was an extrover all along. Plz try.



File: 1753134105016.jpg (1.48 MB, 1850x1088, 925:544, bedside.jpg) ImgOps iqdb

 No.301831[Reply]

Any other wizards here that have trouble with speaking "normally" or pronouncing certain letters? This kind of thing occurs naturally to normalfags and it really is just something that should come inherent to everyone. I've had times when I think I'm talking normally but people tell me to stop yelling, or other times when I think I'm talking in above average volume and people tell me I'm being silent. I also struggle to pronounce the letter "s" properly and sound like a spazz which has made me actively avoid certain words. It's just another one of those things that has made me realize how we and normalfags live in an entirely different state of existence. I remember how Chris Chan used to get bullied for his voice among other things, I'm not sure if it is an autistic trait or a consequence of my reclusive life but it has made my anxiety in public worse, and has also totally ruined my dreams of starting a music project one day
10 posts omitted. Click reply to view.

 No.301850

I find the sound of my own voice too loud. It's conditioned me to find speaking difficult by aversive feedback.

You should go check your LDLs and UDLs:

- LDL (Loudness Discomfort Level): This measures the sound intensity at which a person starts to feel discomfort. People with hyperacusis have abnormally low LDLs.


- UDL (Uncomfortable Loudness Level): Often used interchangeably with LDL, it assesses the same threshold of sound discomfort.

 No.301855

>>301850
>I find the sound of my own voice too loud. It's conditioned me to find speaking difficult by aversive feedback.

That sounds genuinely terrible anon I'm sorry you have to go through that. But I'm not sure how measuring those values would help with my issue, since I primarily struggle with monitoring the volume of voice even though I don't seem to notice it although I wouldn't say that it makes me uncomfortable. If anything it just creates uncomfortable situations by association when I have to interact with normalfags.

 No.301886

I don't thing I have trouble pronouncing as much as I have trouble keeping my brain in sync with my speech. It's getting so bad I feel out of practice at talking or holding a coherent conversation that I don't feel like a native english speaker any more. Usually it is just best to pause and collect your thoughts, and speak slowly parsing out your words. But I am sure we are all familiar with people who don't have the patience or tolerance to listen to us like that.
>>301831
>totally ruined my dreams of starting a music project one day
I see people using AI to do this so I wouldn't give up. Try some private karaoke with yourself using songs you like. I found it much more enjoyable than the manual labor that requires my hands.

 No.302010

I talk really quietly, but what I'm saying is usually fine. A lot of the time i'll get cut off mid sentence by normies so that they can say some retarded shit.

 No.302506

>>301831
> I've had times when I think I'm talking normally but people tell me to stop yelling, or other times when I think I'm talking in above average volume and people tell me I'm being silent

>yelling

<I undertand, hyperacousia can be hard to endure

>silent

<please take care of your ear hygiene



File: 1755745694429.png (709.35 KB, 860x1648, 215:412, 1748984220486.png) ImgOps iqdb

 No.302324[Reply]

i have got 9 months until i am free from this world, so while im still here i was wondering what would be the best way to spend my time, just playing vidya? i have no friends both irl and online, watching shows/animes that i see happy people / people with relationships and stuff makes me have anxiety and i really despise people,i just want to spend my time cozy, hyper obsessed with something that doesnt have any connection whatsoever with the real world, i was thinking about getting into an extreme grindy (no p2w) mmorpg if there is one, any recommendations are appreciated thanks fellow wizs
4 posts omitted. Click reply to view.

 No.302331

>>302330
i live in a big overcrowded city in a 3rd world country with a very high criminality rate(brazil) that there is also a bunch of noisy/loud subhumans outside, going outside for me is a nono because of that.
is there any book you would recommend?

 No.302337


 No.302349

>>302324
play dofus retro a grindy mmorpg

 No.302373

>>302331
Seneca - Letters from a stoic
Plato - The last days of Socrates
Boethius - Consolation of philosophy
If you're dying might want to pick up a suicide manual.

 No.302498

>>302331
Read John's Gospel, maybe Matthew's too if you have the time to spare.
Also, read Ecclesiastes.
>>302373
>Plato - The Last Days of Socrates
You can skip the filler and just read Phaedo. maybe twice.



File: 1754157490225.jpg (1.35 MB, 3328x1872, 16:9, 1562222657954.jpg) ImgOps iqdb

 No.302003[Reply]

My rooster that I've had for ten years, who I consider my best friend and love more than anyone else, died Wednesday night. He was my only friend. He lived in the house with me and was the only thing that would make me feel better when the rest of my life would weigh down on me. I would go hold him and the rest of life would disappear and that would be all that would matter. I keep forgetting now for a few moments, that I can't go see him and hold him anymore.

I have had depression for my whole life adolescence onward, and I was afraid even 5-6 years ago of this day and thought it would be unsurvivable, and now it's here, and I do want to die. I dont want to live in a world where he isn't here with me. The initial shock has worn off and it's sinking in that my best friend is gone, and I'm not going to see him again. My mother is the only other positive presence in my life, because she knew how much I love him. She has stage 4 cancer and it's still unclear if she's going to survive it or not. She's essentially the only reason why I have not shot myself already. She was never abusive or cruel to me, so I couldn't do that to her even though I don't want to live anymore.

Did you ever have an animal that meant this much to you? People are cruel and petty and small. If an animal loves you it's genuine, they dont have ulterior motives or social performance.
27 posts and 5 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

 No.302320

>>302193
thanks

 No.302340

>>302327
>>302327
kekw

 No.302342

ass

 No.302438

File: 1756070556629.jpeg (53.55 KB, 411x608, 411:608, 0e81c607b69c69733bc95b1eb….jpeg) ImgOps iqdb

I WISH (like, making a literal Wish Ritual here) I had a tibetan mastiff as legally designated therapeutical\companion animal

 No.302439

>>302438
That would be a nightmare for anyone but you, unless you live in buttfuck nowhere.



File: 1734700271956.jpg (754.21 KB, 2000x2500, 4:5, wi.jpg) ImgOps iqdb

 No.296810[Reply]

Does any of you get irritated with family gatherings or when guests come to visit you in your family's house?
I am 24 years old, little to not school education, no job, whenever I am with some relatives or in some family gathering I can sense how much they look down at me for being a massive loser, even if they almost never express it directly at all, since I was a child I would always be asked by them questions like "how are you doing in school?" or "are you getting any good grades" Of course they no longer ask me such question, But I still feel a lot of shame when I am around them, I try to avoid sitting with them like the plague
85 posts and 14 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

 No.300185

>>299806
Why are you trying so fucking hard to sound british?
And no , it isn't true he acts out of anger , most of the the time he will remain a loser and doesn't seem to take it personally because who gives a fuck about people's opinion?
We all die whether we fail or succeed.
Seethe & cope .

 No.301149

>>300185
there's nothing british about that
it's just high register

 No.301580

>>299323
For not replying to >>299326 I can tell you're a real one.

 No.301698

>>296810
Normalfags don't compare themselves to elon musk or jeff bezos, so you shouldn't compare yourself to normalfags. You simply live 2 completely different lives with 2 completely different life parameters. We're all born with different means.

 No.302298

>>300185
Don't you realize the posh English is the stuff taught in continental Europe as some kind of golden example?



File: 1754348189796.jpeg (12.26 KB, 200x150, 4:3, IMG_3052.jpeg) ImgOps iqdb

 No.302042[Reply]

I literally got top employee performance of the year two times in a row for exemplary performanceby corporate (not to mention I do unpaid overtime)

And yet because I don't participate in their coffee room gossip and office bullshit (mind you these people are about 20% as productive as me) they want me to lose my job because I don't "match the energy of the community".

Do I just have to suck it up and kms, before I become homeless? Since without a salary that's going to be within 12 months.
13 posts and 1 image reply omitted. Click reply to view.

 No.302273

Maybe you raised the bar so your colleagues feel pressured to work harder, and they hate it/hate you as a consequence.

 No.302274

File: 1755521189623.jpeg (25.24 KB, 635x483, 635:483, images-7.jpeg) ImgOps iqdb

>>302270
It's likely.
I see it as the original novel for I Am Legend, where the zombies turn out to be a hive with their own form of order and Mr. Legend is the intolerant villain.

I say this because America didn't like that ending (even though the novel itself is American) & martyrized Will Smith instead XD.

 No.302278

>>302270
If they succeed how will they prevent their own minds from becoming retarded and vulnerable? It is a lose-lose situation. The NEET outcast always wins.

 No.302281

>>302272
I think what he meant was that for normies all that matters is being too weird, they don’t see or recognize the aspect of autism spectrum and developmental disorder at all because they are too dumb to discern being weird and being autistic.

 No.302290

>>302281
exactly, this


regards, >>302271



File: 1755480490068.jpg (422.07 KB, 1920x1080, 16:9, 412545-Ivan_Kramskoy-sitti….jpg) ImgOps iqdb

 No.302257[Reply]

Isolation has carved me in its image and likeness. The presence of another person- of any person whatsoever - instantly slows down my thinking, and while for a normal man contact with others is a stimulus to spoken expression and wit, for me it is a counterstimulus, if this compound word be linguistically permissible. When all by myself, I can think of all kinds of clever remarks, quick comebacks to what no one said, and flashes of witty sociability with nobody. But all of this vanishes when I face someone in the flesh: I lose my intelligence, I can no longer speak, and after half an hour I just feel tired. Yes, talking to people makes me feel like sleeping. Only my ghostly and imaginary friends, only the conversations I have in my dreams, are genuinely real and substantial, and in them intelligence gleams like an image in a mirror.

The mere thought of having to enter into contact with someone else makes me nervous. A simple invitation to have dinner with a friend produces an anguish in me that's hard to define. The idea of any social obligation whatsoever attending a funeral, dealing with someone about an office matter, going to the station to wait for someone I know or don't know - the very idea disturbs my thoughts for an entire day, and sometimes I even start worrying the night before, so that I sleep badly. When it takes place, the dreaded encounter is utterly insignific ant, justifying none of my anxiety, but the next time is no different: I never learn to learn.

'My habits are of solitude, not of men.' I don't know if it was Rousseau or Senancour who said this. But it was some mind of my species, it being perhaps too much to say of my race.”

Text 49, The Book of Disquiet by Fernando Pessoa

 No.302261

>>302257
Same. When I look at humans, I see such spiteful, filthy, degenerate creatures who I cannot even acknowledge as my equal. It's as if they are hardwired with a primordial hatred against all things pure, innocent, beautiful, and are determined to betray them and exploit them as violently as possible. I am an extrovert, but I find the company of worms and ants more energizing than the blabbering fool called a 'person'.

 No.302262

Yeah, but we finally live in an era where this song is being meme'd more often than deserved.
Insanity is less an obstacle and more a companion at this point :>

 No.302264

>>302262
After reading this >>302257 i cant stop listening to

 No.302286

>>302261
>It's as if they are hardwired with a primordial hatred against all things pure, innocent, beautiful, and are determined to betray them and exploit them as violently as possible.

There's some truth to this, it's because we're living in the age of irony where sincerity has vanished. I would like to go back to a stage where I was scared to even look at the front screen of a porn website, where I immediately, consciously knew and felt that whatever was shown there is just 'wrong' and I would click it away not daring to take a closer peak. That's the form of being naive I would deem as dignity these days. Not in the sense that oh it's bad because succubi are objectified, not in the sense that porn is bad for your health or your brain, but simply a common sense knowledge that whatever is illustrated in porn is bad as it's ot natural. But this kind of naiviety is impossible to even think of these days, what has been unleashed can't be undone. I myself can't go back to it, it's been ver 18 years.



File: 1755382313868.jpeg (883.36 KB, 1062x1156, 531:578, IMG_0099.jpeg) ImgOps iqdb

 No.302248[Reply]

Last year I did a community college course in construction, it was a nice little multi skills course in a small building in the middle of nowhere where, there were only 100 or so people there, it was great, unfortunately I failed to get an apprenticeship and have to do another community college course

It’s landscaping, which seems pretty nice, only issue is that it’s in a very large building, it’s the college’s main building, it’s fucking huge and there’s over 1000 attendees

I am absolutely fucking dreading it

Pray for me bros

 No.302249

Just drive up, give all 1000 attenmdees a firm handshake, and ask when do you start

 No.302250

>>302248
Buy bitcoin

 No.302252

File: 1755395355265.gif (87.52 KB, 220x391, 220:391, colonel-codec.gif) ImgOps iqdb

>>302248
>Snake? Snake!? Snaaaaaaaaaaaake!!!!



File: 1731764107521.png (2.49 KB, 297x170, 297:170, download.png) ImgOps iqdb

 No.296143[Reply]

what does he want from us?
why is he torturing us?
why does he give great amount of suffering and horror to poor believers while giving happiness and wealth to evil disbelieving people?
why is he so careless?
52 posts and 2 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

 No.302157

>>302156
Nature is interested in only two things—to survive and to
reproduce one like itself. Anything you superimpose on that, all
the cultural input, is responsible for the boredom of man. So we
have varieties of religious experience. You are not satisfied with
your own religious teachings or games; so you bring in others
from India, Asia or China. They become interesting because they
are something new. You pick up a new language and try to speak it
and use it to feel more important. But basically, it is the same
thing.

 No.302158

>>300436
This is absurd. We don't transcend our reality, by definition of what our reality is. If God is given birth to by us, he isn't God. Can you give birth to miracles? The word of God from Heaven? No. There exists a limit to the human mind and God, by definition, would exist beyond it.

 No.302180

>>302155
Why don't we say that the self awareness itself is a proof that God exists, Our awareness is of God's knowledge or either that we created omnipotence through our awareness

 No.302183

>>302180
the self
is an insubstantial construct invented to lend coherence and meaning to
an existence that is actually chaotic and meaningless

 No.302199

>>302155
It doesn’t matter whether the cultural hero-system is frankly magical, religious, and primitive or secular, scientific, and civilized.
It is still a mythical hero-system in which people serve in order to
earn a feeling of primary value, of cosmic specialness, of ultimate usefulness to creation, of unshakable meaning. They earn this feeling by carving out a place in nature, by building an edifice that reflects human value: a temple, a cathedral, a totem pole, a skyscraper, a family that spans three generations. The hope and belief is that the things that man creates in society are of lasting worth and meaning, that they outlive or outshine death and decay, that man and his products count. When Norman O. Brown said that Western society since Newton, no matter how scientific or secular it claims to be, is still as “religious” as any other, this is what he meant: “civilized” society is a hopeful belief and protest that science, money and goods make man count for more than any other animal. In this sense everything that man does is religious and heroic, and yet in danger of being fictitious and fallible.



File: 1748984220486.png (709.35 KB, 860x1648, 215:412, yyoooa.png) ImgOps iqdb

 No.301028[Reply]

People willl always hate you if you're asocial and never talk.
There is no way around it.
22 posts and 2 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

 No.302130

>never talk to anyone nor give a reason for anyone to pay attention to you
>no one pays attention to you

WHO WOULDVE THUNK.

Literally just say what comes to mind. That is what the "normies" are doing. They see a hot succubus and tehy ask her out. They see someone doing a cool thing so they walk up to them and ask about it. It comes easy to them because they havent built up a complex that makes them overthink themselves out of action.

 No.302131

>>301724
Its so dumb how this works. It is like everyone is playing this stupid game where they tell you not to do something and you are supposed to do it anyway. Society doesn't have to be like it but it is.

 No.302134

I know what I need to do to be more social. I need to watch modern entertainment, like stuff on Netflix. That way I can relate to people better and understand how modern people interact.

But I can't bring myself to do it. It always makes me feel so inadequate to watch modern entertainment. I always feel like I'm the butt of the joke.

I always see myself in whoever is getting made fun of. Like if I watch Squid Game I'm sure they shit on some guy and I'm going to relate to the guy and feel like crap about myself.

 No.302188

>>302134
its called "empathy"


try watching pr0n parody of Squid Game instead of the real stuff (IF your ELECTROCHEMISTRY stat is high enough)




or play Disco Elysium, for i dunno

 No.302194

>>301028

I have a recipe for a shaky cocktail of hate and tolerance.

Switch cities, provinces and towns.
Wear something stereotypical of your home county, combine it with "autism awareness" merch or such.

Boom. Your quirkyness is now "plausible" spread between *being around autists too much (not "personal" autism) and "not local" feel (you're from some distant area for locals of the city you're in now)

>>302129

AFAIK, the world of gesture "speakers" is:

a) has several "systems" of gestures, just like languages
b) the "systems" don't correlate with real world languages.
c) we live in XXI century. Set up a chatbot, hand out strangers your business cards that inquire them to use non-vocal ways of communication. Effectively, you'll throw their pep talk into a proper chatbot.



  [Go to top]   [Catalog]
Delete Post [ ]
[1] [2] [3] [4] [5] [6] [7] [8] [9] [10]
[ Home ] [ wiz / dep / hob / lounge / jp / meta / games / music ] [ all ] [  Rules ] [  FAQ ] [  Search /  History ]