/dep/ - Depression

Post here when you don't have enough to say for a topic and it's too depressing for the general crawl thread.

Please, be respectful to each other.

Theme:
https://youtu.be/D83cMncj_Ig

Is "friendship" just like religion? I mean, just like people pretend to believe in God to get in a certain social circle that they can use to advance themselves, is there a similar game that occurs when two people call themselves 'friends?' More generally, when people say 'social skills,' do they really mean the set of Machiovellian skills of choosing when to deceive or trust other people to try to put yourself in a higher social clique?

What the hell is 'friendship?'

I've been getting harrassed by someone for more than 3 years now, but since we live in a world where apparently hurting succubi is bad (even though they hurt you much worse) yet not vice versa, nobody wants to help me.

Plus.

Even if I wanted to fight back, had an earthly way of proving it, and she didn't use masochism/yandereism as a shield, just the fact that I also harrassed someone for 3 years makes me feel like this is what I get for not being able to understand their pain neither.

On one side I still want to believe revenge gets me nowhere, but 3 years worth of bad memories don't exactly make you want to hold on to any morals of your own honest free will.

I feel painfully dizzy just confessing this, for any wizards or 20somethingyear olds who are honestly guys or know how to deal with stalker/hackers what should I do?

Normies are evil and fake.

When you re alone face to face with one normie he will most likely act normal, not be rude neither aggresive towards you.

But when that particular normie will be in group of people he will start acting like some animal fighting for domination. He will act stupid, say stupid things and sometimes even be aggresive, nasty.

I hate them. I was always an outcast and I will ever be. I wish I could get neetbux and never get close to normies anymore.

But thats not possible.

If you re different from normies and you are in some place that requires socialization, then you re fucked

Just a month ago I started getting anxiety attack where I keep feeling like I’m dying constantly but I never do. I don’t know why Mother Nature had to make a condition like this. I saw a doctor and got checked up and he said I’m fine but I haven’t seen a psychologist yet and I don’t know if I really want medication. It feels like it’s been a long time since I could just lie down and relax and I really wish I could go back to the days when I could just relax and not feel like I’m suffocating.
I used to think anxiety and depression wasn’t a big problem since it didn’t effect me like this which is quite selfish since it is a big issue but now I understand that the hard way now. I kinda wish I could’ve told my past self to stop stressing out while I could because I could have prevented this if I wasn’t always stressed.
I guess it looks like I’ve written a sob story for attention but really I’m just sad at the moment and it’s 4:22 am and i can’t sleep my chest hurts and I can’t get comfortable anymore.

Anyone else realized to late that there parents fucked you up and abused you in there early childhood and this is the main reason your life went shit before started and broke up with thme later. How did your life turned out after this?

Does anyone else feel like an old rusty machine?

Everything I do I do slow because it feels like with every move I need to work against some resistance. Either like I'm in a higher gravity or I have really heavy bones. I am skinny but I feel like an obese person. Just sitting at the computer feels tiring. So much I got a laptop purely for use while lying in bed. Just keeping my eyes open feels tiring and like my eyelids are heavy. Even when I lie down there is this pressure and discomfort in my body. When I need to think about something hard it's like I'm in a library lit by moonlight and need to put my face close to the book and squint to make out the words. It's like other people's brains are a high-end SSD and mine is a very old hard drive.

I don't have any illness that I know of. My diet sucks, I don't exercise and only go out every 2nd day to go to the store. Could this be it? Or is this just depression? Do antidepressants help with this?

Why am I getting punished when they should. Why am I on the receiving end of the penalty. Why am I the one getting attacked, getting stolen from. I'll kill them in spite. I will kill them. White people are the true villains. Whites are the ones who are degenerates, who must be cleansed from the gene pool. They are inbred. I have woken up. They cheat they lie they manipulate they conquer other countries bomb them nuke them. They tried to enslave an entire continent of people. They have created an economy designed only to profit them. They have caused countless lives to be lost that could have been prevented easily otherwise. Unimaginably high health care. Wage theft. I'll make the wrongs right. I will equalize society. To do this I will commit a massacre just like they have. I'm going to shoot them up like they shot my people. I'll carve them like pigs in a slaughter house. This must be done for the greater good. I serve justice. I will only spare the people of color as they are only victims. I WILL SHOOT THEM UP.
I am the victim. I was the one who was wronged. They have threshed my flesh. They have stripped away my identity. They gave me trauma. They have made my life a waking nightmare every single second of the day. I was an innocent ox living comfortably under the guidance of Budda and they ruined it. I wake up every evening screaming my head off, I scream so loudly that sometimes I fear my head will pop from the internal pressure. I HAVE TO GET REVENGE. It's the only way I can get rid of this five-year burning resentment. It's brewing like maggots in rotten meat, the juices oozing out with the abhorrent stench of unwanted rubbish. I will clean myself of my sins in this way. Now I know why I never feel clean no matter how many times I've showered, it's because the actual grime and muck exists in my mind where my shampooed hands cannot reach. To purify myself I have the duty to lynch these Whites. These whites. Strip their flesh. Pull out their tendons. Prick their body. Extract their organs. Force feed them feces. Rip out their eye sockets. Violence has always been a part of humanity.

I made this thread because I want to share my experience, since I'm pretty sure that some of you made the same experience with the other patients in there.

So I've been to stationary psychiatry a lot of times, sometimes my stay was longer like a couple months and sometimes it was just a week, I went there most of the time because I had bipolar spergouts or semi-psychotic episodes and my parents were afraid that i am going to commit acts of violence.

When I entered psychiatry the first time I thought it's gonna be full of retards and psychotic patients that are acting like they come from another planet but it turned out to be full of your usual normies and I was again the schizoid retard who wouldn't talk most of time and even in there they would think that I am a weirdo, which is kinda fucked up if you consider that this is a nuthouse.

So most of the patients in there were normies and almost all of them were your typical self-loving narcissists, most of them had a girlfriend and friends that came to visit them once in a while, they also all got along with each other and kept hanging out in there.

The succubi in there are your typical borderline whores that had seen more penises than an urologist and blamed it on everyone else, they talked about sex and genitalia a lot and it seemed as if they were more concerned with cocks instead of finding a way to fix their toxic behavior. There was also a lot of sexual stuff going on between the male patients and the borderline succubi, even tough this is considered a breach of the rules it still happened all the time.

The patients who weren't normies mostly consisted of cold-turkey junkies that went through a mental circus and patients that went through psychotic episodes all the time. The patients that seemed like they might be wizards were acting like edgelords and narcissists all the time in order to hide their weakness.

It's also worth mentioning that almost all of the normie patients in there had abusive parents who caused their problems, so they just picked up the narcissistic and abusive personality traits of their parents, they never felt like retards since school and were never subjected to the problems most people on this board face, they still have normie problems so to speak.

I obtained this information though group therapy-sessions and awkward talks, I also just listened to what the other patients were talking about with each other.
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To someone who is also:

>A guy
>An Aspie
>in his midtwenties or late twenties
>Also had his heart broken by, someone who has none of these attributes, in a grueling manner (such as hacking and daunting revenge porn comics of their favourite characters.)

Tell me: what is the average amount of time it would take for you to recover taking into consideration the stages of grief and that they don't end up exacerbating it any further?