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There's nothing worse than being shizotypal
I have weird annoying psychological issues that intervene with life and especially social life, I do volunteer work because social workers make me, i need to take medication so i can work a couple of days and appear normal.

I constantly need to switch volunteer work because i manage to weird people out given a few weeks working there…
>Today it happened again, there's this succubus at work that sits in the same office as me, she's always super nice to me which is always a bad sign because my autism can't handle it.
My mind works against me, someone is nice to me ? great let's manage to make it super awkward and fuck it up.

To give some information, there's a problem i have with radio and music in public spaces more specifically work places. I had an episode that relates to that. Basically i start relating feelings and emotion to the music that's being played, i relate emotion to the lyrics being sung etc. That's a big issue because the music on radio stations are 90% about love sex or relationships (akwardness intensifies)
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Schizotypal here, I feel you. Funny enough, I had a similar incident like yours. It sounds like you are highly sensitive. Not as in by being insulted, etc but that you are very moved by music and such. I wonder if all schizotypals are highly sensitive.


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I'm a diagnosed paranoid schizophrenic and I relate to some of what you're saying here. I'm on 6 different pills a day. Struggle with a substance abuse disorder because that's how I cope. I'm now in sober living, friendless, jobless, etc. Don't give up friend.

>pic related is on month 2 of antipsyotics


I take ssri's and zyprexa and yes you def gain weight on that poison and friends i've never really had, i always fuck it up.
I'm always the odd one out not to sounds like a special snowflake but it's just how it goes, fitting in doesn't work and the harder you try more obvious it is you don't belong


I think we need to embrace it. We have to accept for who we are. Faking it won't work. The more you accept yourself, the more comfortable you will be with yourself and with others. Fuck anyone else who brings you down. I'm sick of needing to be someone I'm not because of how society runs. If I can be nice and enthusiastic with others then I'm good in society and thats good enough. Sorry that went out into rambling. As you can tell I have a lot of anger and injustice.


that's a beautiful and cute succubus :-)


Anyone else feel like their world lost "colour"?
Somehow it seems that the world in my past was more colourful and beautiful.
5 posts omitted. Click reply to view.


Still like colour but because i find it interesting and not monotone


I feel as though my time perception has fucked up as I've entered my 30s. As a kid time seemed to drag on, which I understand why. Then at 14 time was at the right pace. I was young enough to still feel anxious anticipation for holiday breaks or the release of a new video game, yet mature enough to be patient and understand why I had to wait for things. 15 - 18 were a complete blur. Before I knew it I had graduate high school. 18 - 29 was spent being sleeped deprived and working hard for money so the days just flew by. Now that I'm almost in a comfortable position at 30 it feels as though time is just dragging on again. 2019 was when things lost color for me.


Everything went to shit for me around 23-24. Dunno why or what happpened. I think it’s when I realized my degree was worthless but I was already a senior. I gave up before I even graduated college. I have no debt and some paltry savings at 30, but I have no skills and I don’t talk to anybody except boomers sitting next to me at the bar or service people. Haven’t had friends in like 6 years.

The novelty of shit just wears off. You have to chase novelty and excitement.


Hedonic adaptation is one hell of a curse


Yes and no, I'm trying to not make my life lack in color. God i need a break from depression, it'll be the end of me if i let it get to me.

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Lost my job because libtards said I was a racist and provided no evidence and been homeless before, not doing it again.
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That's because the typical male is viewed as disposable and nobody cares


the unfortunate reality is that the typical male is disposable.


I think it’s true, leftists do this all the time to people they dislike. They’ll do it to you just because you aren’t NT or if you’re short. More than likely however it was just some roasty who didn’t like OP, and then just based on that, everyone else followed suit.


OP is the one telling the story, he didn't have to leave it so vague for us to play guessing games


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>getting involved in /pol/ crab drama
wizchan 2021

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 No.235149[Reply][Last 50 Posts]

What's the point in doing anything if we are all going to die, I mean if I were to die right now my life "experience" would be exactly the same than if I were to die at 99 after curing cancer and creating space colonies, to be precise, I would experience nothing, the end result of life is the same no matter what you do while alive, non existence. The king and slave are the same once they are in the grave, just a rotting sack of flesh and bones, sure the king may have more history books written about him, but it's not like he will ever have the chance to read them. And of course the psychologist will say "oh that's the depression talking, you have a warped view", but is it really? Is there anything really wrong with what I just said? It just seems to me that nothing is worth doing in life, no goal can justify the pain and suffering of working to achieve it. What do you think about this?
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I do think you are unfair to yourself and me when you state nothing matters due to death, but that things matter while alive. Either they matter, or they don't, but I do understand what you mean since your argument is not in a strictly "logical debate" fashion, but one that you have with yourself and becomes rather confusing out in the open.

Anyways as for you post, that is why I put "unless pushed in one direction." in mine. Personally I take the stoics's viewpoint of suicide, as Epictetus put it “Has someone made smoke in the house? If it is moderate, I’ll stay. If too much, I exit. For you must always remember and hold fast to this, that the door is open.”. There is at the end of the day only a subjective interpretation of reality, which decides if living is worthwhile or not. If you believe life to merely be suffering and nothing else, while also believing that suffering worthy enough for suicide, then exit as soon as you can. That is the only proper response, and there is nothing wrong with that unless you believe in magical gods writing down rules against suicide.

Perhaps this sounds like a very simple answer, or even self evident that if you believe life not to be worth living you would not live. My answer to that, is simply to say that is why it is probably true and worth thinking about. After all I cannot magically convince you that life is not suffering, nor would I since it very well might be. All that "matters" is if you believe it to be, and what action you will take afterwards.


You know I wonder. We all say that nothing matters because we die. So let's suppose we don't die. We live eternally. Does everything starts to matter now? I assume that any activity in life is pointless because how short it is. But what if you were to live 1000 years? You would start doing anything that requires more effort or on the other hand be overwhelmed by the length of it and amount of suffering and immediately suicide?

You see death is not really a problem at all, in fact it is kind of a bliss because we have no idea what's after it. Every beliefs are just assumptions and have no proof whatsoever. So in this case ignorance is a bliss and we can choose what we want after death. Perhaps our situation after life is individual and based on our presumptions.

What I would be more disturbed about is not the point of activity but mere existence. I think of it this way. Let's say you're in the jungle, you eat bananas, drink water from the river and make structures from mud and wood. You might say that purpose of banana is to feed you, river to give you a drink etc. But what about a mountain? A mountaineer would say it's purpose is to climb it. What about Earth? The Sun? Milky Way and universe?

You see purpose is helpful when it comes to basic survival because it helps to set goals that keep us alive. Why do we create computer simulations? Just for our enjoyment? Because we don't have anything better to do? You could ask the same question to God. And either we are too simple-minded to understand the answer or there might be no God at all and purpose might be a result of our limited brains. Does a rock think about purpose of things? Maybe we shouldn't think at all?

We are but a conscious, breathing rocks that are a mistake or we are a part of a God's plan that we are unable to understand.


When you become adult things lost his special aura you know that everything is rigged you know how succubus truly are you know you will not be rich so you lost all motivation


Nice post, I'll be borrowing a few things you said in my worldview.


Not half bad, wiz. Not half bad.

[Last 50 Posts]

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 No.228958[Reply][Last 50 Posts]

>worthless polisci degree (2015)
>didn't work a job until 24
>have had 14 jobs and quit them all within a year or less
>haven't worked more than 2 months at a job since almost 2 years ago
>live at home, never paid rent
>never made more than 16/hr doing almost entirely what amounts to stocking shelves in grocery stores
>lack the natural affect and social fluidity that makes interactions with people smooth due to years of isolation
>can't stand interacting with people in a professional way
>get really anxious, feel panicky, etc
I got a job where I had to go into 711's, convenience stores, etc and talk to the store managers about shelf space for our candy bars and buying displays. I couldn't handle it. The idea of having to ingratiate and grovel to someone i don't want to talk to so some anonymous faggot company can make more profit just made me so angry. I ghosted after 2 weeks of training and one week of sitting in my car outside the stores to spoof the companies GPS on our tablet.

Is it over? Should I just move to some small town in the midwest and stock shelves at the local grocery store and hide from the vicious judgement and shame of the east coast yuppies who i was supposed to be a part of?
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Welcome to the blackpill


Immense wisdom in this post. Suffering is caused by desire. We want this or don't want that, and when we don't get what we want we suffer


Ugly, manlet and/or your mom buys your clothes?


Why would you put up with this? Become a hermit, join a monastery or something. I would literally rather be homeless and eating wild plants than put up with hostile normie bullshit


The most realistic answer is "You can turn your life around at any time, but it gets exponentially harder as you get older".

[Last 50 Posts]

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I think about my life and I realized something.
Years 2008-2009 were the worst years of my life. But 2010 was much better than 2008-2009.

At the end of the 2020 year I realized that 2018-2019 were very terrible to me (just like 2008-2009). Just exactly 10 years passed and history repeated themself. Yet 2020 year was much better. In years 2018-2019 I had terrible job - I felt so exhausted both mentally and physically. Now I have a job that isnt that much tiring like my previous job.

I wonder - was it just a coincidence or life does keep on repeating - if 2018-2019 years were tragic - will the years 2028-2029 be tragic too?
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If by repeatability you mean things get worse every year than yeah, but other than that I can't seem to find any repeatable pattern.
I think you are reading too much into an almost mystical view of chronology instead of just noticing the events themselves.





If by repeatability you mean things get worse every year than yeah, but other than that I can't seem to find any repeatable pattern.
I think you are reading too much into an almost mystical view of chronology instead of just noticing the events themselves.


Every one of my posts is a brainfart. My demented mind can't remember what I posted even weeks prior.

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The thread all about therapy of all sorts including non conventional therapeutic practices like taking psychedelics and experience with drugs used in conjunction with therapy.
What are some books you have read about the subject that has helped you and do you think the role of a therapist is important?

>what therapy have you done and did it help you

>why do you think therapy does not work in your case if so
>would you consider taking psychedelics
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Should I try get a test for hyperthyroidism or find a psych for a bipolar diagnosis first? Internet says they have similar symptoms so I don't know which one I have.


i was just about to say the same thing


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I have clinical depression and my parents (who also have it) suggested trying talk therapy. however, the idea always seemed somewhat abject to me; sharing the most intimate aspects of my being with a person who is a complete stranger, payed to listen to my shit.

i've tried smoking pot, and it only amplifies whatever negativity im feeling, or fucking worse, digs up loads of nasty shit swimming under the surface i had to fight to overcome.

there are a number of drugs i would like to try, but considering how fucked up i get from something casual like weed, delving into something more serious seems ill advised.


Please spoiler flashing images


Especially when it comes to games, I've lost all motivation to do anything with my self. Even getting up in the morning is exhausting.

I don't know what to do with myself. It's an endless cycle; work, go home, sleep.

Everything is just fucking empty and hollow. It just feels like I've wasted 20-odd years of my life with nothing to really 'push' towards.

I can't even find anything that interests me anymore. Everything's just so over saturated and plagued by normalswine who have the conversational depth of a fucking plate.
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neetbux is always an option. Everyone here could easily get an autism disorder diagnosis and get ~$1,000 a month to just exist. As long as psychiatry is bending over backwards for their fake illnesses, we'll be safe


see some shrink and get diagnosed with some imaginary disorder and get on neetbux


>neetbux is always an option.
Not in here.


More like $800 per month here in burgerland. Also it takes time and dedication to get the bux. For some wizards, being a severely depressed hikki is enough to convince the government that they can't work. For others, they would have to fake it cuz they have normal brains.


Many of us are the same I do not even know how I manage to spend all the time shitpostng or sleeping I wasted this life.


After all you don't feel anything, not pain, the absence of pleasure etc, you won't feel any negative feeling, you won't worry about anything.
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You can't escape. Do you think escaping would be as easy as just killing yourself.


I had an NDE… and I promise you death and what comes after is really bad. Whatever you do, DON’T DIE. There is no heaven afterwards. But there is hell. There is only hell.


Tell your story. You can't just leave it at that.


stop avatar fagging with er


Death cannot be avoided, you'll die of old age someday, suicide is just speeding up things.

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What do you want to do before you kill yourself?
What do you plan to do?
Is there anything that you recommend other wizards to do or books/film/video games to experience before they kill themselves?
ITT we discuss and list these things.
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We are machines. We have inputs and outputs, just in a more sophisticated form. Take corals for example, they don't say "I", yet they live and die same as you. Their functions are more simple than those of humans(take in light make oxygen and glucose). Are they not exactly like machines? Just go a few steps above in terms of functions and add some complexity and you reach humans.


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I assumed that you meant people IN GENERAL are terrified of death/nonexistence, as opposed to just SOME people. There are currently only 3000-4000 people worldwide signed up for cryonics. That's less than 1 in a million people worldwide.


Not him but I always found that image compelling. The reason you don't just kill yourself is that it's only a theory (and it's a stretch to call it that). Still, it's the only reincarnation or spiritual idea that seems somewhat plausable to me, even if I won't bet my life on it.


I think it is a well thought out image too, just really hope eternal recurrence is not real


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I'm thinking a tour of the country before walking into the sea.

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