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File: 1778540535632.png (Spoiler Image, 149.42 KB, 980x553, 140:79, image.png) ImgOps iqdb

 No.307723[Reply]

Very late 20s. Never been on a date, never been approached. Never had any friends, only acquaintances. Not even meme internet "friends". I always thought these things would naturally come to me at a later age, but they never did. With each passing year it gets worse. There is something profoundly wrong with me, it's like the part of my brain that's responsible for human contact was amputated at birth
19 posts and 3 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

 No.307949

>>307731
Depressingly true.
I used to have online friends when I was a fun clown in MMOs and later when I was hardcore high rank in a moba…
Never since.
Though to be fair I never looked for them outright either or asked to join or whatever.
>dry up like plants and die off.
Unfortunately. If you have a multiyear or decade long lay-down-and-rot episode you are just stuck alone forever.

 No.307958

>>307949
>Unfortunately. If you have a multiyear or decade long lay-down-and-rot episode you are just stuck alone forever.

No social obligations, no letting people down, no emotional stress from others, a lot cheaper without stuff like dinners and events, no helping people move, maximum free time for hobbies, interests, etc.

so it's not necessarily "unfortunately", but it is true… very hard to recover from looooong breaks of many things

somethings come back like riding a bike…

others truly atrophy and die.

or you just give up and don't try anymore so it might as well be dead…just slowly rotting

>Though to be fair I never looked for them outright

Were you just not motivated? Or was something holding you back

 No.307966

>>307958
That all sounds nice, but I was killing myself mentally.
Stress and neglect combined ruined my health for good in many ways.
>or you just give up and don't try anymore so it might as well be dead…just slowly rotting
Pretty much. At some point I just surrendered. I truly tried to do a lot of things, maybe it's some mental problem, but I could just never act on anything that wasn't directly stimulating.
At some point even those lost any appeal.

>others truly atrophy and die.
Indeed, to the point where I developed panic attacks whenever I'm around people or even talk to them over voice calls lately.
I can't even control it. It's very weird.

>Were you just not motivated? Or was something holding you back
Much was lost as you say. I lost interest in most if not all things and without caring about anything, what do you even talk about with people?
I asked an anon this above >>307748 and the response was as expected… they don't have much to talk about with people either.
What would I even do if I had friends? I can't tell you.

I was motivated for a bit.
I tried to reignite a passion for yugioh (childhood love) spent a good chunk of time going to local gatherings, but it didn't work out.
I couldn't connect to people at all aside from the somewhat forced interactions due to the nature of the engagement/game.
The panic attacks got worse too, but I forced it for almost a year.
Post too long. Click here to view the full text.

 No.308012

>>307723
>Very late 20s. Never been on a date, never been approached. Never had any friends, only acquaintances
All that plus, never had a job, never had any respect, never had any friends either to confide to like you and the ones that I did have never really talked to me after school/college etc. I just wish everyday that I go and sleep that this sleep should be my last.
>>307729
>we're fundamentally victims of poverty, not of money or resources, but experiences. if you don't have the right experiences by a certain age, it's over
completely agree with that except I am actually a victim of being short on money and resources as well
>even if someone gave me friends and a gf on a silver plater, i wouldn't know what to do with them, i would feel nothing
This is where I would partially disagree with you, while it's true that it would be hard to navigate a situation like this, I doubt that people can truly accept and find solace without having someone, hate to say it, but I think all of us hooomans are wired the same way, even introverts, and recluses. That to some degree, their biology, their heart, and mind require someone to be with them for companionship.

 No.308014

>>307958
>maximum free time for hobbies, interests, etc.
Unless you're a programmer, you are basically stuck reading books and watching anime if you wish to avoid social obligations, letting people down and emotional stress from others.


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 No.304279[Reply]

There's no meaning of existing when you can't be what you want. I wish I could live in a world where I am the main and where people would respect me or care about me. If I don't live in this world, I should die.
9 posts and 1 image reply omitted. Click reply to view.

 No.305550

>>304292
>I want to be a natural blonde and blue-eyed person with paler skin, from a Germanic tribe, and mainly from a 1st world country.

for what purpose?

 No.307992

>>304281
with such english you dont have to bother learning anything in the first place , go watch shoujo anime.

 No.307993

>>305550
To not feel like you're a net negative on the Earth

 No.308001

>>307993
>feel like you're a net negative
There are plenty net negatives in this world that dont dwell on this. You having a "proper" life wouldnt balance this out.

 No.308002

For any action to occur, the discomfort of doing nothing needs to outweigh the discomfort of moving, and the good news for you is that any retard these days can devise a plan of action if they have a clear objective in mind.


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 No.304408[Reply]

new internet of over 10 yrs now… is it me or there is nothing left to talk about?
44 posts and 6 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

 No.307677

>>307624
they wake up call was a while ago I installed NoScript as a means of making my web browsing more secure when I heard all of the remote executables you could launch with JavaScript. Now every fucking website is blank on a browser I run with NoScript. You gotta bend over and let your privacy be fucked just to watch silly videos. Now its getting worse where not only does everyone want you to make an account using a gmail, but they want your fucking phone number. Pretty soon they are gonna demand your credit card number and enable an autopay function by default just to have an account.

 No.307678

>>307677
>emote executables you could launch with JavaScript
You need to have those executables on your system, the script on the browser needs to know their exact path, and all modern browsers ask you to confirm before a script on the page can communicate with something on your system. If those executables communicate with the internet they need to have Windows give them a firewall entry which is asked upon the first time they're launched.
>You gotta bend over and let your privacy be fucked
How dare them allow you to use their website for free. The nerve of them to do so and require basic information about your browser required to give you a webpage that works. The absolute freaks they must be to not offer streaming HD content while accommodating some dork who purposely chips away at his browser functionality out of his misguided phobia about being datamined or something. You paranoid privacy shizos are the ones killing the internet.

 No.307679

>>307678
so lowbrow lol. time to reboot, you've got a windows 11 update is pending

 No.307990

I hate how everything's hobby-related online has become a dick measuring contest. People can't seem to have genuine interest in things without making it about views, clicks, or money.

 No.307999

>>307990
hard to have genuine interest in anything when you can have zero reward in either short or long term


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 No.303398[Reply]

The sole purpose of this post is to share the techniques and books I have accumulated over time to achieve relaxation and other things.
I have read about meditation, magic, ceremonial magic, chaotic and postmodern magic, anxiety therapies, and relaxation techniques. This thread is not a cure for all problems. I don't want to turn this into a blogspot, so feel free to ask whatever you want.
>Also
Remember that you can also search for the techniques I mention on the internet, on YouTube, or on WikiHow, where you can find help on how to perform these techniques and more tips.
60 posts and 38 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

 No.307344

>>307343
sometimes i wonder about the power of it- is it from the retention itself (like chi or life force) or is it more of the act of discipline, like training yourself to hold your breath, you become more efficient at using oxygen in your body, you train past the pain (with sex the 'pain' would be that 'itch' drive force that produces urges etc)

Curious how practicitoners here utilize the practice. Do you have any conscious practice around it?

Doing some self-examination here… obviously i'm giving myself signs to quit and give myself a break at the very least to reset my libido… my spirituality has been really out of touch for months

 No.307362

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>>307344
I don't believe in chi or vitalistic ideas and all that stuff because I experiment with what I believe maybe and it seems to be hypnosis, beliefs, and mild altered states of consciousness.
Kinda materialistic approach if you see it like that way.
Maybe nofap, abstinence, and holding back make you more susceptible to suggestions/hypnosis.
Or maybe it opens you up to some kind of magic, I don't know, I have no idea.
Maybe it change something in your head, neurochemicals, i dont know, or maybe its just for discipline or sex control.
>Also
Right now I'm trying the 50-day challenge just to see what it's like. I did it last year, but I never actually had orgasms I just fapped without it. Basically, I was just “gooning” (I think Genesis P-Orridge recommended this method in one of his books or something lol), although there are several authors who replace the no fap no sex with something else that's just as bizarre in its own right related to sexual activity.
I dont know Wizard.

 No.307363

>>307362
that sounds like the eroto-comatose lucidity technique
how long were your sessions and did you reach an altered state of consciousness with them?

 No.307364

>>307363
>that sounds like the eroto-comatose lucidity technique
No, the gooning tech like p o-rridge maybe suggested is just fap without orgasm climax for 50 days or more.
The eroto-comosatose was more into total stimuly of all the senses, never tried it. But i remember reading somewhere that use abstinense to enchance pleasure sense.
>how long were your sessions and did you reach an altered state of consciousness with them?
I know its not the topic of the answer but sometimes i got a lot of focus and visualization just by focusing and feign having sex in my head in my bed. It even enchanced orgasm feeling so maybe the thing of visualization and acting was into it.
In a way is like playing before sex for succubus maybe. The focus exchance the orgasm and pleasure maybe.
In the Tibet the buddhist do something similar but with deities and visual power.

 No.307989

File: 1779678737765.gif (611.76 KB, 498x357, 166:119, wizard-sword-in-the-stone.gif) ImgOps iqdb

>>307364
Guys, i was reading, i asked a AI about Semen-retention around 50 days (not Nofap, just semen-retention but same) around neurochemicals and brain etc and the AI cited me interesting articles that i lost now but look like nofap in a way enchance suggestionability based in a production of a neurochemical in head (ignoring the other good effects of taking a good healthy routine in 50 days) in the 50 days
>in 7 days get the peak testoterone (i tested this and i can confirm its true for my experience)

>after 7 maybe, the testoterone to the in a way middle or like Regression toward the mean

>after 14 or 17 days supposed get a light change in brain

>but after 50 days something change in a way reset and some neurochemical improves suggestibility

So… ignoring the Gooning Magical technique or the nofap technique for more pleasure later or even placebos and beliefs/bias, maybe the old pagan Greek philosopher, Chinese taoist/daoist, Roman philosophers, Vitalist, Victorian mages like Papus (this guys say this is the first thing to magic but 40 or 48 days i dont remember), Aleister Crowley and maybe Golden Dawn around abstinence, and Robert Anton Wilson around the secret of sex magic of 50 days in sexual abstinence and other modern ceremonial magicians etc maybe that's the secret
>what?
improves suggestibility based in reset of the brain and production of a neurochemical that improves suggestibility to self-hypnosis or rituals, like RAW book around sexual imprinting we are making a new opportunity to imprint one of the circuits? who knows? like a pavlov dog or a peak or trauma experience?
Maybe the AI have bias or i go full schizo but why no try? maybe its just a placebo but why not try?
>Also
Yeah, this is probably pseudoscience, but as I recall, the AI cited studies mentioned humans and the chemistry of sex, masturbation, and addictions, as well as animal experiments—which doesn’t exactly make it very credible but I still think there’s something odd about ceremonial magicians placing so much emphasis on 40, 48, or 50 days of sexual abstinence. anyone know same practice and days in chinese or oriental magesPost too long. Click here to view the full text.


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 No.307908[Reply]

It comes to my mind very often how evilness surrounds everything, from your own body being rotten and painful to the average politician being cruel and unhinged.
I can really assume we live in a hell realm, people are so used to suffering that atrocious and disgusting news such as murder or car accidents are deemed normal.
We're born without knowing why in a world we did not create and we must obey rules we did not decide, there is really no point in counsciousness when existence is like this unless it was conceived by evil forces for evil purposes.
So my conclusion is that we live inside a reality of pure evil, no chaotic, no orderly, just pure evil without any sense, like hitting your head until you die.
2 posts omitted. Click reply to view.

 No.307911

Everything revolves around balance. Evil is just another useless concept that doesn't work without there being good. Maybe existence is just there because some bored Gods wanted to demonstrate each other what these formal concepts look like in full colour and how limited conscious beings behave when they are given the option between good and evil.

 No.307913

>>307910
And I' sure you define torture as minor inconvenience.

 No.307916

look into gnosticism. i'm increasingly convinced it's the truth.

 No.307917

>>307913
Here is a list of what I call torture that is commonly suffered on earth:

Hunger and thirst -> the most common form of torment in nature and the major cause of death among animals
Temperature -> from being burned alive to frozen to death I call this the seasonal torture
Violence -> millions of animals are slaughtered every day, among humans every 30 seconds a violent crime happens
Disease -> pain, suffocation, nausea, dizziness, itching, spasms, pressure, discomfort, cramps, paralysis, clots, dysfunction, infections, cancer, etc…
Psychological torment -> anxiety, depression, psychosis, existential dread, trauma, etc…
Fatigue and coercion -> being tired and exhausted, forced slavery, enduring prison or psychiatrization
Emotional trauma -> being scolded, abandoned, abused, bullied, etc…
Nature -> insects biting you, animals devouring you, losing your home from a disaster, storms, earthquake, eruptions
Threat from outer space -> asteroids, aliens, intergalactic events, etc…
Laws -> many laws may prevent you from getting relief such as a home for the homeless, or opioids for the suffering ones

 No.307920

>>307917
Drug addicts not being given free drugs is torture..? So I was right.


 No.307706[Reply]

Why do us humans have to be so alone? I feel that despite having options to live and exist and do things we still are so very dependent on this biological programming to seek connection. I don't know how to say this but I honestly, often hate myself for seeking it from other people — trying to make friends who would listen, or talk, or at least stay. I know people are very busy and have no time to stay to listen and understand other people's loneliness but I typically wonder if I could just have one person, not a therapist, just one genuinely good person who would not be judgemental (although they could be if they have any good advice) and would just listen to me like I matter; my situation is not something I am making up, this is me, suffering from being an outlier who has tried so hard to be a part of normal people but just couldn't. I really tried, but the performance was too much (although calling it a performance would be hypocritical). I could not do it, everyday I felt I was lying to myself, there was a small part of whatever honesty left was leaving me everyday, slowly but I could feel it. I did't know if I am living or lying. How long can I continue with this? Even when alone one, doing his work, to push through shouldn't there be a part within him that calls for an alignment with his honest self? I feel I lack that, it feels so pretentious to be existing. I don't wanna leave everything and just run away because I am not strong enough but I wonder if I could continue like this, and even if I could, calling that just a part of being human and a lot of other (fellow wizards) are going through the same, I don't know how long I could go on without completely going insane.
7 posts omitted. Click reply to view.

 No.307830

>>307829
fact check: false

 No.307831

>>307830
> Stop giving a fk about them and start focusing on yourself and what you want in life.

What he said is true. Also if you actually live like that good things come automatic.

 No.307837

>>307829
>not care about what others think
ill just get my shit kicked in if its around the wrong person

 No.307838

>>307837
Are you so small and weak that you believe people will not only attack you, but also beat you every time? If someone gets violent, get violent back.

 No.307873

>>307831
not true. Having a valid social environment that helps you grow is just as important. source: look at the mirror.


 No.307749[Reply]

I'm an isekaist, I believe I'll get reincarnated in another world as I please. I don't think living in this world is worth, like this world is not what I wished for. I might have committed serious sins in my past life. So, I basically did nothing wrong in my current life and God/Deity/Goddess doesn't punish suicidal people as the bible doesn't mention condemnation to those who kill themselves.

 No.307757

>living is not worth it
I agree. I'm Christian and it's evil to say God sends people to Hell for suicide according to the Bible as it nowhere says this, in fact several Old Testament figures game ended themselves.
Isekaism, that is being forced to live over and over again sounds incredibly depressing to me.

 No.307760

>>307757
I just want to go to a magical medieval world and get reincarnated as a crown prince.

 No.307763

File: 1778636991973.jpg (223.11 KB, 1080x1080, 1:1, aybe.jpg) ImgOps iqdb

I actually died last year after some dipshit told me I could make a portal to Gensokyo by cooking pennies on a stove or something. The planet I got reincarnated to was 100% full of other reincarnated Earthlings. Instead of being all fantasy and cool it was just diet Earth with crappy tech. Same old groids. Everyone lied about what they were in their previous life while constantly having dick-measuring contests over who died the most brutally. I was friends with a guy who said he was a B-52 bomber pilot who, instead of bailing out, died steering his flaming plane away from a church full of kids. I found it suspicious that he was still so young so when I killed myself to reincarnate again I asked the angel responsible for moving my soul and she confirmed that it was total bullshit and he would have been an old man if he was telling the truth. Evidently I was reincarnated back on Earth Classic with a secret duty to fulfill and once that's done they say they'll try to reincarnate me as my younger self on to one of the dangerous but fantastical planets with its own native populace of cute witches. Apparently it was a fluke for me to end up on the bad planet in the first place considering I died a virgin so they just reset my entire record.

 No.307812

>>307760
the more I think about it, I see zero point in staying alive in this world

 No.307813

>>307812
here's a science pill i heard recently. "chicken is an egg's way of making another egg". this finished what scraps of spirituality remained in me. so yeah you're right there's literally no reason to stay alive. never has been.


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 No.307613[Reply]

Buddhism just straight up ends the subject/object split and dependent co-origination makes the whole illusion of a permanent self or creator god look like the retarded cope it is while Christianity is still stuck LARPing with its sky daddy judging your jerkoff sessions and promising eternal torture for not believing in the magic carpenter. The eightfold path dissolves the whole mess without needing some jewish blood sacrifice ritual to "save" your immortal soul from original sin bullshit that never even happened. Every time some midwit starts yapping about how le based trad christianity built the west I just remember how their dualistic garbage keeps people chained to craving and aversion like retards chasing their own tail while the dharma lets you actually see through the aggregates. Fuck this gay earth and its endless rebirths of this same midwit argument.
4 posts omitted. Click reply to view.

 No.307622

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>>307613
Take the religion that make you happy
i took absurdism sometimes and other times thelema… and other times buddhism.. and other times… just lol
or dont take anything and dont give a damn thing about it.

 No.307676

>>307613
I don't believe Buddhism has any real doctrine based in reality. There obviously is an immaterial consciousness stuck in the bodies of humans and animals, Abrahamic religions are superior. Reincarnation is obvious bullshit too.
Some Buddhist stuff is still kind of calming. Seems more like a hobby instead of a religion.

 No.307680

>>307676
Buddhism is not a religion, it was made to be a religion by shitheads morons who follow without understanding. It is more of a approach to life that prevents you being duhkha'd too much

 No.307782

>>307680
Pretty sure Buddhists themselves describe and view themselves as practicing a religion.

 No.307793

>>307680
Buddhism is spiritual and demands a belief in a multitude of alternate plains of existence and creation theories.
>It is more of a approach to life that prevents you being duhkha'd too much
How so? By convincing people that everything in existence is Dunkha and that they should try to die as soon as possible to not become consumed by it?


 No.306959[Reply]

I have a lot of faults of my own, perhaps my current predicament is entirely my fault. I have no friends. No one to talk to. But things are worse, I was born and currently live in a really hated country on this planet but regardless it could've always been worse, I could've been a prisoner in North Korea or on the menu in Africa for a good hearty meaty meal.

The true tragedy is I am significantly over than 21, I have a very rocky relationship with my parents, who abused the hell out of me, and I literally shake and tremble in fear when my parents are angry, I can feel pain in my heart. But guess what I am over 21 years of age and they are not bound by any law to take any care of me at all but they still do, they have also helped me a lot, while I don't wish them harm, I do wish I lived away from them.

And of course I am unemployed, to a great extent, I get talked down on daily basis, while I am grateful for what my parents have done for me, I am grateful for what normies have done for me by making wonderful things like mobiles and games. I do not like the fact that my father has a carte blanche to say anything to me and do anything to me, I am grateful for society for giving me mobiles and games, as I said. But I don't like how my value is only derived from what I earn.

If I don't earn, I am a pest, a drain on resources, my parents treat me like I am disposable, with no respect, at all. And why should they cause love isn't unconditional because if they loved me unconditionally, maybe I would've abused them instead. No such thing as that.

I just want to die but I am terrified of dying without living for once. I live in an honor culture mixed with Western Style liberalism and as an unemployed person, I am the lowest common denominator in them. Money has somehow turned out to be more important than I expected it to be, I mean money is water, money is food, and money is roof. I knew that but I didn't knew how.

I have never spent a day of my life that wasn't in constant anxiety and worrying about something, not a single day in my life where I could claim that 'Yes, it was a good day.'. Perhaps I am like one of those weird females who don't want solutions to their problems but they just want to be heard, when they talk, if you know what I mean. And it surprises me that I have an iota in common with succubi.

As I said a lot of fault lies with me, I have tried for jobs, and tried for online ways to earn. But pePost too long. Click here to view the full text.
9 posts omitted. Click reply to view.

 No.307379

>>307366
When thinking about reincarnation I keep wondering why the hell would God, the Universe or whatever limit you to just one planet, just to one species. Never understood this point of view.
Also, even though pajeeting is a horrible prospect for the afterlife but I can think of thousand worse hells.

 No.307381

>>307374
wizhell
i'd actually pick north korea over it

 No.307382

>>307374
>I am surprised why my parents decided to have me in poverty
Most kids born in India and China are expected to provide for the parents after 20 years or so. Your parents took that gamble and lost.

 No.307758

An incident happened with me today because my father doesn't do proper maintenance of things and instead called some discount guy to do it and he ruined the appliance, he started to shout at me, as if it was my fault.

Never in my life have I wanted to put a kick right into someone's head like today. But I pray to the lord everyday that my father dies. That Pajeet has ruined my life and I have to take it cause I am unemployed. So the world tells me that I should be grateful even if he now has a carte blanche to abuse the fuck out of me.

I swear to god, I really want this motherfucker to be struck by lightning, one way or another. I hope this piece of shit suffers the worst cancer known to mankind and does as early as possible. I hope someone nukes this country and put an end to pathetic suffering.

 No.307759

if you off yourself you kinda hand it to them, but if you can get away from them and break contact, you win

in my view at least, I would find enjoyment knowing they cant touch me anymore and they dont even know what I am up to

then if you still want to off yourself, I would make sure they would never know

again, just my personal view


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 No.307580[Reply]

I am really tired
How can I find happiness independant of other people?
I cant deny I feel the need for connection, but it always ends poorly for me
2 posts omitted. Click reply to view.

 No.307583

realistically what you really crave is just validation. connection is when you're validated by another person's existence because they share your world view or identity. that's difficult for wizardly types because we are more unique and less conformist than others, so it's difficult to find and meet such people.

>>307582
this is a good impersonal way of getting validation that might work for wizardly types. do something valuable, provide a service to a community of people and receive good feedback for it. you have to find a community that isn't completely anonymous and where content isn't transient, so that your contributions can compound and you increase the chance of your work being recognized by others.

i spent a good part of my teenage years just answering people's questions on tech forums and it was actually quite a good source of validation. even though i never made any "friends" in a traditional sense, helping people out with their questions and problems was rewarding for its own sake.

there's tons of ways of getting positive feedback from other people. probably easier than ever now that you have the internet. you just have to put yourself out there, create something interesting, help other people, provide interesting opinions and "takes" that mirror what people are already thinking about etc.

 No.307584

>>307582
>Engage with that hobby's community. Contribute to it.
lmao

 No.307598

>>307580
health, neeting, good entertainment
I guess i'm a bad person to give advice for this as i am suicidal

 No.307713

>>307582
Hobbies don't work long-term, they just give you something to do that isn't doomscrolling

 No.307714

>>307713
>Hobbies don't work long-term (for me), they just give (me) something to do that isn't doomscrolling
Is how you should have wrote your post.


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