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 No.301262

It's Saturday night and I started taking a new antidepressant called Mirtazapine (15mg) on Thursday night.

This is my 10th or so attempt at a psychiatric medication. I've tried lots of therapy too.

Wish me luck anonymages. I was about to quit my job but watched some motivational videos on autoplay on Youtube for hours and as cheesy as it was, they convinced me to give this a go.

I didn't even get these prescribed recently. It was way back last year and then I just didn't take them because this particular medicine has a reputation for making people really fatigued.

It does put me to sleep. But, maybe that's ok. If it means I can find some happening apart from fapping and dreaming while I sleep.

Maybe it'll even help me turnaround my fortunes at work where it looks like I'm sliding towards a firing or just being unable to come in. Barely stopped myself raging at my boss the other day and took 2 weeks sick leave from stress afterwards. I need to swallow some humble pie come Monday and hopefully these pills help. Being off work for 2 weeks showed me I'm just as miserable and actually more so depressed, anxious and stressed not working despite all the antiwork slogans I collect.

 No.301269

Good luck wiz. Sounds pretty bad what you're experiencing.

Do you work full time?

 No.301284

Mirtazapine is a powerful sedative. I tried it a few months ago and 5mg was enough to immediately put me to sleep and knock me out the next morning. Not good if you're employed.
Didn't fix the depression at all (and why would it? I'm depressed because my life objectively sucks) but at least it god rid of the sleep issues.

 No.301285

>Wish me luck anonymages
I wish that you'll stop falling for the pharacutecal scams.

 No.301294

You will get fatter if you keep taking that pills.

 No.301301

>>301269
Yep, full time. They'd make me do the same work if I went part time anyway since I'm a manager

>>301284
The evidence suggests antidepressants and therapy are the best option when you're depressed. Objectively, I'm not a peasant or a tribesman eating bugs. My biology was trained on shittier scenarios. So far it actually does seem to be helping but maybe that's placebo since it's such early days. Still depressed and anxious but not distressed as much now

>>301285
How can it be worse than the hell I was already feeling?

>>301294
I'm skinny so that's good. It's increased my appetite.

 No.301492

Ok, OP here with an update.

I've moved interstate to live with my parents. This includes my mum who was physically, emotionally and verbally abusive across my childhood.

But she's like Dr Jeckle and Mr Hyde. She's very helpful around the home when she's not abusive.

Everyone I know is shocked I'm moving back and had told me not to. It's been one night now and I'm surviving. I need to remember that I can and should leave if I get stuck in suicidal mode here or degenerate further.

Anyway, it's because I couldn't be stuffed figuring out a new place to rent basically. Too fatigued.

I keep getting tonnes of criticism from my boss and it's really eating me up. But they let me work from home interstate. It's almost performance assessment time and I'm dreading when the guillotine drops on my lasting sign of high functioning.

But I still have time, for now.

I'm going to apply for lots of jobs, and also try to really impress the boss in the coming weeks…

 No.301499

Ive tried so many medications from antidepressants to anti-psychotics, all that shit fried my brain even more and made things much worse, I'm not trying or taking anything ever.

 No.301566

Just like every other time everyone warned me something would be a bad idea, this was a bad idea thinking I could live with my partners

My mum is still a domestically violent aggressive psycho. Guess I got to figure out a place to live asap while figuring out the mental health and trying to keep this stupid job.

>>301499
That stuff doesn't have lasting effects if you stop tho. Unless you stop abruptly without tapering down, then you can get brain zaps

 No.301567

>>301566
>That stuff doesn't have lasting effects
sexual dysfunction, dystonia, akathisia, tardive dyskinesia, gastroparesis, rebound psychosis, dementia, tinnitus, diabetes, PR prolongation, cancer…all of this for literally a placebo/lobotomy effect, psychiatrists are INSANE

 No.301571

I have been forced to take a sum of six antipsychotics and antidepressants since childhood. I think it has given me slight mental retardation.

 No.301572

>>301571
You were poisoned as a child and those who poisoned you need to be killed. As a man, nobody can force you to do anything, so stop taking their poison.

 No.301788

>>301567
OOF

>sexual

AKA susceptibility to succ***

 No.301789

>>301262
Lemme guess. Your sleep schedule is a mess, you have a cheap bed or none (a.k.a. sleeping on a coach); you have no blackout curtains and no background noise to hum out the small noises in the night.


Well… You may or may not have additional" factors that render a decent drug useless.

 No.301848

>>301789
This was all true except now at my parents place I have an awesome bed

And it is dark and quiet enough here.

It's way better.

But.

My boss is back from leave and making me feel like shit again.
This job has rare qualities: remote, low effort, high pay, low interaction, secure, and prestigious. I’d be throwing away a dream job.

As for thinking I need to quit to focus on therapy or medication: that’s not true. When I was not working, I found I don't get healthier. I don’t eat better, exercise more, or feel less anxious. I just stress about different things — including future jobs, financial security, family and community perception and relationship prospects as a result of my job.
i am actually more productive in ny life outside work when I've worked that day it seems or worked during weekday if it's weekend, so not only a mental health boost but productivity.

That said, if the working conditions are too harsh for me, I still have to quit if I can't find a resolution, whatever the consequences.

The meds (I'm OP) are still keeping me from feeling too suicidal tho. Worth it. Still depressed tho.

 No.301903

hold on


so you used to consume SSRIs…

…without consuming serotonin precursors?

Well… You could use some 10$ box of L-carnitine



also, try fixing your diet (how? See "Dr. Berg" channel)

 No.301904

>>301848
ooh.

glad to hear the "better" part, comrade


I used to be somewhere in the /dep/ zone too. Never showed up at local schrink's since my maternal brother is a certified schizo (so they would pretty much misdiagnose me as yet another schizo as well)

 No.301905

>>301848
>My boss is back from leave and making me feel like shit again.


I wonder if you and your boss have different ethnicities, so you pretty much could try and "fake it till you make it" to be into boss' culture?



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