File: 1621882507513.jpg (68.26 KB, 890x839, 890:839, why is the cat screaming.jpg) ImgOps iqdb
Post here when you don't have enough to say for a topic and it's too depressing for the general crawl thread.
I don't know how I can be so utterly terrible at handling even the smallest responsibilities. I don't know if the anxiety I feel is just much worse than other people or if I'm just much weaker, it's probably some combination of the two. The thought of making a simple phone call has me sweating and pacing and knowing I have to make or receive a phone call makes it impossible for me to relax, I feel constantly on edge with my stomach tight.
>>240480
Broke down recently for similar reason. Realized I am really non functional there is no conspiracy against me some true Sato delusions.
You're not alone
Broke down recently for similar reason. Realized I am really non functional there is no conspiracy against me some true Sato delusions.
You're not alone
Every time I try to do anything a voice inside me tells me it's all pointless and a waste of time.
>>240487
That's the Cosmic Ghost beckoning you to return. Embrace apathy, shed your husk of a body and prepare to become God once more.
That's the Cosmic Ghost beckoning you to return. Embrace apathy, shed your husk of a body and prepare to become God once more.
After 32 years, I'm finally giving up. Started the process of applying for disability. I'm not very knowledgeable on the process, just learning as I proceed. I expect rejection, and will likely need to appeal the decision. Applied due to "depression" and "anxiety" diagnoses. Can't help but feel like my issues run deeper, but it's all I have to work with. If this doesn't work in my favor, I'm glad I at least have nembutal ready as a contingency plan. I'm escaping one way or another, I can't take it anymore.
>>240493
If you're in america, it's not gonna work, they only give disability for literal retards, maybe in europe depression and anxiety could work but fuck no not in america.
If you're in america, it's not gonna work, they only give disability for literal retards, maybe in europe depression and anxiety could work but fuck no not in america.
>>240498
If its severe enough as in cannot work catatonic at times you could. Real bad true depression
If its severe enough as in cannot work catatonic at times you could. Real bad true depression
>>240503
Not him but I got mine from a "J" in China. I overdosed on it (accidentally, was using it for sleep) and think I got a bit brain damaged as a result. Knocks you right out, though. Not painful, true to its reputation.
Not him but I got mine from a "J" in China. I overdosed on it (accidentally, was using it for sleep) and think I got a bit brain damaged as a result. Knocks you right out, though. Not painful, true to its reputation.
You ever get a sense of impending doom? There's no hope for my generation. We're all fucked and our parents will place the blame squarely on us.
>>240505
Impending doom mixed with dread here. Worst thing about it is that I'm doing nothing about it, besides engaging in passive activities (like posting here) and/or getting high.
Impending doom mixed with dread here. Worst thing about it is that I'm doing nothing about it, besides engaging in passive activities (like posting here) and/or getting high.
>>240507
Have you hit the point where you feel you are simply unable to do anything about your passivity? I'm just a deer in the headlights.
Have you hit the point where you feel you are simply unable to do anything about your passivity? I'm just a deer in the headlights.
>>240493
Nothing wrong with throwing in the towel, but only if you are content with this decision and won't regret it later on. I can't seem to do the same. I want to finish my studies and get a PhD first, then if my life still hasn't improved or even gets worse, I will give up completely. But at least I can say I tried and will have no regrets about the decision later on in life. Guess I'm just weird like that.
Nothing wrong with throwing in the towel, but only if you are content with this decision and won't regret it later on. I can't seem to do the same. I want to finish my studies and get a PhD first, then if my life still hasn't improved or even gets worse, I will give up completely. But at least I can say I tried and will have no regrets about the decision later on in life. Guess I'm just weird like that.
A guy I know online for some number of years is going to kill himself tomorrow. Hes getting kicked out by his parents. I sort of knew it was going to happen at some point but im still pretty sad about it.
>>240503
As >>240504 mentioned, there is "J" from China that is a reputable source. Mine was sourced from "B" (formerly "D") from Mexico. If you're located in or near Mexico, there are a few vendors that you could visit in person to score the product for dirt cheap in comparison to the online order. Sanctioned suicide has the current PPeH pdf available for more direct information on how to order.
>>240520
Honestly glad to hear that you have a goal to work towards and the will to not give up quite yet, nothing weird about that. I sincerely wish you the best anon. As for my decision,I feel at peace with it. Truth be told, the only reason I even have those diagnoses is due to a failed attempt last year with CO. No one knew and I had no desire to be found, but a police officer of all people found me in my car before I could expire. I tried to give things one more shot, even gave big pharma a chance with their anti-depressants.
I'm self aware enough to know that my situation is predominantly my own fault. I've been dealt plenty of shit hands, but it seems I played like shit anytime I managed to get a fair deal. I had to figure things out quick as a teen after being kicked out of my parents house at 17. I've lost track of how many jobs I've had over the years. It has to be approaching 40 different companies. I've scored multiple certifications, no degrees however. Jobs ranging from retail and food service, to towing, forklift driving, multiple management positions, call centers, insurance (both provider and beneficiary services), even became a certified DSP earlier this year just to try out something different that slightly interested me. I just can't pull off the mental gymnastics to make me feel like working for peanuts is supposed to be rewarding. The social side of it all is the final nail in the coffin for me though. I'm at my best when I just stay inside and avoid everything. The sheer banality of every social exchange I partook in or observed, coupled with all the degenerate behavior was enough for me to realize that I'm just plain fucking tired and not really cut out for the dog eat dog world we live in.
Financially, I was never getting anywhere. It's partially due to drug addictions, and also not knowing what to invest in or how to go about learning without being led astray. It's practically impossible to do anything but just scrape by every month, even after curbing the vices. The savings are too slow and all it takes is a major car repair to undo several months of saving. If you don't have the backing of your family somehow, you're pretty well fucked unless you've got an amazing head on your shoulders. I'm going to stop before this becomes a novel.
As >>240504 mentioned, there is "J" from China that is a reputable source. Mine was sourced from "B" (formerly "D") from Mexico. If you're located in or near Mexico, there are a few vendors that you could visit in person to score the product for dirt cheap in comparison to the online order. Sanctioned suicide has the current PPeH pdf available for more direct information on how to order.
>>240520
Honestly glad to hear that you have a goal to work towards and the will to not give up quite yet, nothing weird about that. I sincerely wish you the best anon. As for my decision,I feel at peace with it. Truth be told, the only reason I even have those diagnoses is due to a failed attempt last year with CO. No one knew and I had no desire to be found, but a police officer of all people found me in my car before I could expire. I tried to give things one more shot, even gave big pharma a chance with their anti-depressants.
I'm self aware enough to know that my situation is predominantly my own fault. I've been dealt plenty of shit hands, but it seems I played like shit anytime I managed to get a fair deal. I had to figure things out quick as a teen after being kicked out of my parents house at 17. I've lost track of how many jobs I've had over the years. It has to be approaching 40 different companies. I've scored multiple certifications, no degrees however. Jobs ranging from retail and food service, to towing, forklift driving, multiple management positions, call centers, insurance (both provider and beneficiary services), even became a certified DSP earlier this year just to try out something different that slightly interested me. I just can't pull off the mental gymnastics to make me feel like working for peanuts is supposed to be rewarding. The social side of it all is the final nail in the coffin for me though. I'm at my best when I just stay inside and avoid everything. The sheer banality of every social exchange I partook in or observed, coupled with all the degenerate behavior was enough for me to realize that I'm just plain fucking tired and not really cut out for the dog eat dog world we live in.
Financially, I was never getting anywhere. It's partially due to drug addictions, and also not knowing what to invest in or how to go about learning without being led astray. It's practically impossible to do anything but just scrape by every month, even after curbing the vices. The savings are too slow and all it takes is a major car repair to undo several months of saving. If you don't have the backing of your family somehow, you're pretty well fucked unless you've got an amazing head on your shoulders. I'm going to stop before this becomes a novel.
>>240509
I've hit that point at least a decade ago. Not sure what keeps me going. Probably passivity itself
I've hit that point at least a decade ago. Not sure what keeps me going. Probably passivity itself
im so alone
im a mentally ill brain damaged high school dropout and i still have trauma from bullying
ive never had a friend in my life, been to a social gathering had a job or even had online friends. someone please say they are like me and im not alone
im a mentally ill brain damaged high school dropout and i still have trauma from bullying
ive never had a friend in my life, been to a social gathering had a job or even had online friends. someone please say they are like me and im not alone
When feeling like complete shit I stay in bed watching rpg book reviews. It helps me somehow, not sure why. Do you have any behavior you can retreat into when feeling completely miserable?
File: 1621972632040.png (154.86 KB, 474x203, 474:203, corpus.png) ImgOps iqdb
I'm in physical pain. IBS, neck/shoulder spams, it never ends. Mix in wageslaving, anxiety and depression. No point.
>>240540
I read wikipedia articles about technology, or cold war, or interesting things, it's therapeutic to read about something that happened decades ago when you just want to drop dead.
I read wikipedia articles about technology, or cold war, or interesting things, it's therapeutic to read about something that happened decades ago when you just want to drop dead.
>>240540
It sometimes pays to ride out the misery. You will unexpectedly have days that aren't so bad. I had a horrible day yesterday. Almost passed out from the pain of a kidney stone. Turns out, I was probably unwittingly poisoning myself with high levels of oxalic acid from my food. Changed my diet and it resulted in a sudden burst of energy to work on hobbies.
It sometimes pays to ride out the misery. You will unexpectedly have days that aren't so bad. I had a horrible day yesterday. Almost passed out from the pain of a kidney stone. Turns out, I was probably unwittingly poisoning myself with high levels of oxalic acid from my food. Changed my diet and it resulted in a sudden burst of energy to work on hobbies.
I was taking an online class/webinar by someone who is just a couple of years older than me (25 vs 28) but he has way more knowledge, experience,looks and good things going for him than me, he described complex programming and math concepts as if they were childs play while I could barely understand what he was saying at times, at the end everyone was impressed and everyone taking the class agreed that he was very good, very knowledgeable and charming.
I like the guy, but I can't stop thinking how I would like to be as good as him, I would like to be good at math, programming and others things even if I stayed a NEET forever at least I could say that I'm good at something but I suck at everything I try, I'm fat, ugly, with a horrible personality and no one wants to be around me or listen to my opinions, my own mother tells me that I should just shut up because she doesn'6 want to hear my opinions about various topics.
I wish I could just die, It's not my fault to be a complete human waste, If I knew on the womb that my life would be this horrible later on I would have killed myself right there before enduring all this shit.
I just want to stop suffering, why I have to keep this shitshow going on?
I like the guy, but I can't stop thinking how I would like to be as good as him, I would like to be good at math, programming and others things even if I stayed a NEET forever at least I could say that I'm good at something but I suck at everything I try, I'm fat, ugly, with a horrible personality and no one wants to be around me or listen to my opinions, my own mother tells me that I should just shut up because she doesn'6 want to hear my opinions about various topics.
I wish I could just die, It's not my fault to be a complete human waste, If I knew on the womb that my life would be this horrible later on I would have killed myself right there before enduring all this shit.
I just want to stop suffering, why I have to keep this shitshow going on?
>>240567
There is some solace in knowing math and programming. You can quietly reassure yourself that you are capable of applying abstract concepts. Being able to impress others or achieve real world success with your knowledge is another thing. You may have to be content, in the end, with working on projects as a hobby. Projects that nobody but you will care about. It's still something.
There is some solace in knowing math and programming. You can quietly reassure yourself that you are capable of applying abstract concepts. Being able to impress others or achieve real world success with your knowledge is another thing. You may have to be content, in the end, with working on projects as a hobby. Projects that nobody but you will care about. It's still something.
>>240570
I love that guys videos, he used to do so much insane terry trap doom vids, it was funny as fuck.
I love that guys videos, he used to do so much insane terry trap doom vids, it was funny as fuck.
I can't stop thinking about my uneventful, unfulfilling childhood and adolescence. The bombardment of suggestive narratives from media like anime, movies, books and TV only compounds the problem and makes me long for a way to turn back the clock. I'd like to watch the hands swing backward, watch myself grow younger and get a second chance to do things over, but I know there won't ever be a second chance and even if there were, I'd be doomed to live out the same ordeal in repeat. It wasn't the choices I did (or even didn't) make which haunt me: it's my being in total. Everything from my stature and my intelligence, to my upbringing and natural temperament, are laid around me not unlike a circle of binding salt in some magic ritual, circumscribing my fate.
>>240597
That just makes you a sensible human being. Enjoy the times where you can still care about the past before your body and mind fall into parts and you're trapped in the painful present.
That just makes you a sensible human being. Enjoy the times where you can still care about the past before your body and mind fall into parts and you're trapped in the painful present.
File: 1622031335851.png (619.12 KB, 684x1675, 684:1675, thingsActuallyGetBetterYea….png) ImgOps iqdb
Anyone else continually consumed by this thought of, "Things continually get worse?"
I had this dream last night that my old cat was still alive. Woke up crying.
I had this dream last night that my old cat was still alive. Woke up crying.
>>240599
So according to the pic there's only anger and sadness while happiness is an imaginary construct of a time that never was real?
So according to the pic there's only anger and sadness while happiness is an imaginary construct of a time that never was real?
>>240599
This comic is somewhat true as the best years of my life were the worst and I fondly reminisce on them but life has gotten much worse. We are broken creatures and I sometimes wonder if I adapted to being isolated since it started in childhood and then embraced it. Either way life is horrible the good never makes up for the bad.
This comic is somewhat true as the best years of my life were the worst and I fondly reminisce on them but life has gotten much worse. We are broken creatures and I sometimes wonder if I adapted to being isolated since it started in childhood and then embraced it. Either way life is horrible the good never makes up for the bad.
>>240599
Pretty much, it's also somewhat a self-fulfilling prophecy because I anticipated stuff becoming worse and hoped there'd be a death squad and credits roll after my graduation.
Pretty much, it's also somewhat a self-fulfilling prophecy because I anticipated stuff becoming worse and hoped there'd be a death squad and credits roll after my graduation.
>>240597
It never fails to amaze me how others on this board manage to sum up exactly how I feel also. There is great suffering here but also great wisdom and self-awareness. I wish you well, OP. We're all fucked
It never fails to amaze me how others on this board manage to sum up exactly how I feel also. There is great suffering here but also great wisdom and self-awareness. I wish you well, OP. We're all fucked
>>240522
And as far as I know it, he is gone now. I don't think I will ever really be able to know for sure about if he has died or not beyond never seeing him online again. All i can do is look at the 'last online X hours ago' as the number grows higher and higher. Ill miss ya wizard sempai.
And as far as I know it, he is gone now. I don't think I will ever really be able to know for sure about if he has died or not beyond never seeing him online again. All i can do is look at the 'last online X hours ago' as the number grows higher and higher. Ill miss ya wizard sempai.
File: 1622080059522.jpg (15.84 KB, 640x480, 4:3, animegrill smoking.jpg) ImgOps iqdb
>>240479
Is there some kind of law that explains how several unrelated things in one's life go to shit at the same time?
Is there some kind of law that explains how several unrelated things in one's life go to shit at the same time?
I continually shift between negative and neutral to somewhat skeptically positive states when it comes to healing myself and taking control of my life. I will shift in moods multiple times even during a therapy session and I know I need help but I need to want to help myself and seem to deny it.
I'm 40 next year. This past couple of months have been rough. I thought I'd start to care less as I got older but the opposite is true. My motivation to even attempt improvements in life and enjoyment in things is close to nil. At least when I had a bit more natural youthful energy I could cope for periods with deluded shit like working out, even though I never got in shape. Now I just don't give a fuck but not in a good way. I still have almost constant stress and anxiety and the existential angst gets worse. There is no point to me being here whatsoever yet I know I will never rope.
I just sit and do nothing. I don't watch TV, I don't participate in any websites, forums etc. I don't play video games, I have zero interest in them. I'm not remotely into anime or other common wizardly interests. I occasionally read but usually give up pretty quickly, I'm not smart enough for philosophy. I don't create. I have half a dozen guitars that I never play. I just fucking sit in silence and talk to myself in whispered tones. I need to start wageslaving soon but no idea how I'll get a job or how I'd cope if I did. The same mental hamster wheel over and over again.
There is probably some philosopher who put the torment into words very eloquently, Nietzsche or someone, I dunno. It's a deep self-awareness that you are nothing more than a genetic fluke governed by neurochemicals that happen to dictate that you will always be miserable. You didn't get the NPC gene, you are not attractive or born into money. You are simply a futile. Then you realise there are billions worse off than you, not that you give a shit. But it just brings home the suffering of existence for most people. I envy those who genuinely believe in a religion. Whatever gets you through. No matter how much I sit in a state of anxiety fretting about WHY I am the way I am, understanding absolutely nothing of psychology, science, sociology, history etc, I can never ACCEPT it. The insanity of the life lottery.
If only I could reach the point of genuinely not giving a shit and just fucking rope. Sadly, I'm inflicted with some kind of OCD circular thinking and highly neurotic. It eez wut it eeeez
I just sit and do nothing. I don't watch TV, I don't participate in any websites, forums etc. I don't play video games, I have zero interest in them. I'm not remotely into anime or other common wizardly interests. I occasionally read but usually give up pretty quickly, I'm not smart enough for philosophy. I don't create. I have half a dozen guitars that I never play. I just fucking sit in silence and talk to myself in whispered tones. I need to start wageslaving soon but no idea how I'll get a job or how I'd cope if I did. The same mental hamster wheel over and over again.
There is probably some philosopher who put the torment into words very eloquently, Nietzsche or someone, I dunno. It's a deep self-awareness that you are nothing more than a genetic fluke governed by neurochemicals that happen to dictate that you will always be miserable. You didn't get the NPC gene, you are not attractive or born into money. You are simply a futile. Then you realise there are billions worse off than you, not that you give a shit. But it just brings home the suffering of existence for most people. I envy those who genuinely believe in a religion. Whatever gets you through. No matter how much I sit in a state of anxiety fretting about WHY I am the way I am, understanding absolutely nothing of psychology, science, sociology, history etc, I can never ACCEPT it. The insanity of the life lottery.
If only I could reach the point of genuinely not giving a shit and just fucking rope. Sadly, I'm inflicted with some kind of OCD circular thinking and highly neurotic. It eez wut it eeeez
why are people such sociopaths who need to bully naive people who arent corrupted and why is it encouraged
why is it only antisocial behavior if you dont have friends
why is it only antisocial behavior if you dont have friends
File: 1622154784397.jpg (82.64 KB, 500x460, 25:23, rightinthefeels.jpg) ImgOps iqdb
>>240744
>I envy those who genuinely believe in a religion. Whatever gets you through.
This hit me, anon.
>There is no point to me being here whatsoever yet I know I will never rope.
Too powerless to live. Too powerless to die.
>I envy those who genuinely believe in a religion. Whatever gets you through.
This hit me, anon.
>There is no point to me being here whatsoever yet I know I will never rope.
Too powerless to live. Too powerless to die.
>>240751
Why do they need to bully the losers we know we are low on the social order what do they gain do they do it for fun what is it they are hoping to do? Do they know it does not feel nice?
Why do they need to bully the losers we know we are low on the social order what do they gain do they do it for fun what is it they are hoping to do? Do they know it does not feel nice?
>>240758
Please learn how to punctuate your posts properly and avoid run-on sentences. Thank you.
Please learn how to punctuate your posts properly and avoid run-on sentences. Thank you.
all the halfway interesting parts of me are the things i prefer to keep private. being a paranoiac (due to past trauma), i board up my windows and encrypt hard drives, and generally avoid being seen in public–that is, until someone, some heavy-handed authority figure looking to pummel me into submission (in the name of preserving my "health" despite contributing to its decline in some way), forcibly removes these stopgaps. it's like a kind of fog settles over my brain then. i can't indulge in the few strange, disreputable activities i enjoy; no anime or weird hentai or comic books, nothing. so i sit there and now i see myself as every normalfag sees me in public, just a vast expanse of nothing, an absolute nonentity of a person.
it must be absolutely wonderful to be a normalfag. they can share every trifling thought that passes through their head, every detail of their lives and interests, and for the most part evade criticism. nothing about them warrants suspicion, or disgust, or sanctimony from the "respectable elements" of society.
it must be absolutely wonderful to be a normalfag. they can share every trifling thought that passes through their head, every detail of their lives and interests, and for the most part evade criticism. nothing about them warrants suspicion, or disgust, or sanctimony from the "respectable elements" of society.
>>240779
>it must be absolutely wonderful to be a normalfag.
Yes and no
Yes in that they are able to get what they want much easier by knowing the right people (connections) and can get by with the help of others (family and friends)
No in that they are trapped in a hamster wheel, working like slaves to attain material things and constantly seeking approval from those around them (their social circle)
>it must be absolutely wonderful to be a normalfag.
Yes and no
Yes in that they are able to get what they want much easier by knowing the right people (connections) and can get by with the help of others (family and friends)
No in that they are trapped in a hamster wheel, working like slaves to attain material things and constantly seeking approval from those around them (their social circle)
anyone so much of a loser they cannot relate with losers since they are not as fucked up as yourself? even on here I do not relate to most.
>>240798
Yes I guess it's not that different from those psychology forums where the posters are surprisingly, relatively functional. The most fucked-up individuals simply don't participate or are squeezed out by the general normalcy of the average poster.
Yes I guess it's not that different from those psychology forums where the posters are surprisingly, relatively functional. The most fucked-up individuals simply don't participate or are squeezed out by the general normalcy of the average poster.
My brother is a disgusting garbage human being. He has aids, abuses drugs and is an angry dramatic piece of shit. For decades he's made hell at home every day stealing things, yelling at our parents and begging for money, and being woken by his shit at 3am was routine. He's 24 years older than me and I've lived with this my whole life. Well, he got progressively worse over the years. His fiance left him 20 years ago after finding he has aids and his son has it too, and so he lives as a failed normieshit angry at the world and uses this as an excuse to forever be a parasite living with parents. When I was a kid I spent all my days watching TV with him. At 6yo I was being taught to sit in front of a tv and get late to school because I was watching thundercats. He taught me to masturbate and encouraged me to do it, turning me to a cumbrain degenerate with no sense. At some point he started playing fart games where he held my head and farted on my face while I was sitting watching tv. Only at like age 18 I realized I could not sit there watching TV and what a disgusting manchild he is, which glitched his dumb manchild mind thinking I was a robot destined to sit there with him.
All his drug hell literally killed my dad. My dad was over 75 and my brother kept steadily with his behaviour, raising hell every day, fighting my dad etc. My dad was literally getting ill and depressed and literally got some degenerative illness because he couldn't bear existing anymore. He put a chain on his bedroom door so that my brother couldn't break in. I fact, for over a decade everything on that house is always locked with doors and you can't move freely, everything takes a key. So, Im much like my dad and as my brother was abusive of me too I felt the same as my dad. His disease wasnt natural, it was his body responding to his desire to leave. It was fucking awful to watch all that. Then he withered on a bed for two years until he died. On the same day my brother started talking about doing parties at home and acting and talking like he's the man of the house now. He spoke about how he shamelessly and cluelessly bragged one day at his construction job when his boss wanted to restrict his amount of lunch (my brother eats like 3 or 4 people) and he bragged proudly about how he can eat any much he wants at home, and left work to eat that lunch at home. While it's my mom that spoils him while my dad gets mad that he's a fuckin parasite, sleeps on the tv with the tv turned on wasting energy, eats like a pig while refusing to give a single cent for the bills. It took me 4 months of this bullshit to grab a steel stick and beat his head. I wrote all this because I wanted to say that he's becoming loud again, talking loudly at 7am, talking nonstop at night between the time we get home from work until I go to sleep, even talks to himself, and it's fucking annoying, yesterday he made a little joke about me, and I want to beat his face with a hammer like a gore video. When he talks, it makes me very anxious, nervous, with a fight of flight response, and depressed and disturbed. He doesn't just talk, he fucking yells all the time, spreading out all the shit that goes on his head, anger, resentment, drama, will to destroy, to bully, to provoke me so that I get angry and destabilized, the response he loved to get from me when I was a kid and that I stopped by cutting all words with him, but now he sees this lack of response as passiveness and just increments the abuse, so the choices are leaving forever (I don't have a career so I would starve), living bearing this shit like a rat, beating him up again so that he stops for a few months, and killing myself and let my family have the misery that they love.
All his drug hell literally killed my dad. My dad was over 75 and my brother kept steadily with his behaviour, raising hell every day, fighting my dad etc. My dad was literally getting ill and depressed and literally got some degenerative illness because he couldn't bear existing anymore. He put a chain on his bedroom door so that my brother couldn't break in. I fact, for over a decade everything on that house is always locked with doors and you can't move freely, everything takes a key. So, Im much like my dad and as my brother was abusive of me too I felt the same as my dad. His disease wasnt natural, it was his body responding to his desire to leave. It was fucking awful to watch all that. Then he withered on a bed for two years until he died. On the same day my brother started talking about doing parties at home and acting and talking like he's the man of the house now. He spoke about how he shamelessly and cluelessly bragged one day at his construction job when his boss wanted to restrict his amount of lunch (my brother eats like 3 or 4 people) and he bragged proudly about how he can eat any much he wants at home, and left work to eat that lunch at home. While it's my mom that spoils him while my dad gets mad that he's a fuckin parasite, sleeps on the tv with the tv turned on wasting energy, eats like a pig while refusing to give a single cent for the bills. It took me 4 months of this bullshit to grab a steel stick and beat his head. I wrote all this because I wanted to say that he's becoming loud again, talking loudly at 7am, talking nonstop at night between the time we get home from work until I go to sleep, even talks to himself, and it's fucking annoying, yesterday he made a little joke about me, and I want to beat his face with a hammer like a gore video. When he talks, it makes me very anxious, nervous, with a fight of flight response, and depressed and disturbed. He doesn't just talk, he fucking yells all the time, spreading out all the shit that goes on his head, anger, resentment, drama, will to destroy, to bully, to provoke me so that I get angry and destabilized, the response he loved to get from me when I was a kid and that I stopped by cutting all words with him, but now he sees this lack of response as passiveness and just increments the abuse, so the choices are leaving forever (I don't have a career so I would starve), living bearing this shit like a rat, beating him up again so that he stops for a few months, and killing myself and let my family have the misery that they love.
>>240813
if you are going to kill him stop posting about it on here maybe delete your posts idk but do not leave a trail of intent.
if you are going to kill him stop posting about it on here maybe delete your posts idk but do not leave a trail of intent.
>>240817
Yeah, but I thought it's usually managed as HIV for some reason. Full blown AIDS is surprising.
Yeah, but I thought it's usually managed as HIV for some reason. Full blown AIDS is surprising.
>>240815
What's your job if I may ask. Unless your brother overdoses and dies I don't think there's any other solution other than getting away from the house. Fucking sucks wizzie.
What's your job if I may ask. Unless your brother overdoses and dies I don't think there's any other solution other than getting away from the house. Fucking sucks wizzie.
>>240816
He's a degenerate since as early as his teens and sticks his penis in anything that looks like a female, loves cheap whores etc. He claims he got aids at around 16. He's nearly 50 now
He's a degenerate since as early as his teens and sticks his penis in anything that looks like a female, loves cheap whores etc. He claims he got aids at around 16. He's nearly 50 now
File: 1622240357035.jpg (769.71 KB, 1920x1306, 960:653, 1518085468519.jpg) ImgOps iqdb
I think I'm fundamentally incompatible with society and people. Everyone else has their own quirks and personality, I'm nothing, a nonperson, not funny, no opinions, nothing to share, so introspective it's painful. When the conditions are right I can just about pass off as a human and engage in generic pleasantries but there's nothing there; just working acquaintances and relationships of convenience, which end as soon as they begin.
I feel like a sim who can only attain at best the lowest resolution level wants like meet a new stranger or play a game, everything else is unobtainable for my deficient, lacking, warped and isolated self. Usually I'm fine with this - fizzling out in a uneventful meagre, safe and comfortable existence isn't that bad when you consider all the humans that died as infants or boys that got conscripted and sent off to die in some war, getting stabbed in the belly or blown up in a ditch before they even reached adulthood. Still I can't help but feel like there's something missing and almost every interaction with people makes me feel more incompatible and broken, there's a whole field of "normal" human experiences I can't access because I got a bad dice roll, and this is so innate to my being it's impossible to change.
I'm torn between wanting to be left alone and simultaneously wanting to engage with people, it's probably some monkey brain survival instinct that's telling me to join the herd or be outcast and die - which is still pretty much true today. I would be "fine" if I won big on crypto or some meme then I could just NEET it up and live peacefully in my bubble with my escapism and hobbies (for whatever they're worth as tainted and molested as they are) but I'm not smart or resourceful enough for working out some niche so I'll probably be forced to engage with society and live a pitiful wagie life at the bottom of the totem pole. This then reactivates my lizard brain, creating all sorts of negative emotions and thoughts, telling me to kill myself for being such an invalid. Yeah you can call me a failed normalfag, unfortunately I'm not one of the lucky few genetic lone wolfs or stoic larpers that has no desire for friendship, camaraderie or belonging, I can ignore it for a time but it always comes back, to me these are the only things that could make working and existing among other people worthwhile, and if I can't attain them then there's no hope - I'll only get older, uglier, more twisted and alienated, doomed to exist in some ethereal pseudo autistic void of melancholy and disappointment, in a world that won't even let losers like me escape into fantasy without cunts ruining it.
I feel like a sim who can only attain at best the lowest resolution level wants like meet a new stranger or play a game, everything else is unobtainable for my deficient, lacking, warped and isolated self. Usually I'm fine with this - fizzling out in a uneventful meagre, safe and comfortable existence isn't that bad when you consider all the humans that died as infants or boys that got conscripted and sent off to die in some war, getting stabbed in the belly or blown up in a ditch before they even reached adulthood. Still I can't help but feel like there's something missing and almost every interaction with people makes me feel more incompatible and broken, there's a whole field of "normal" human experiences I can't access because I got a bad dice roll, and this is so innate to my being it's impossible to change.
I'm torn between wanting to be left alone and simultaneously wanting to engage with people, it's probably some monkey brain survival instinct that's telling me to join the herd or be outcast and die - which is still pretty much true today. I would be "fine" if I won big on crypto or some meme then I could just NEET it up and live peacefully in my bubble with my escapism and hobbies (for whatever they're worth as tainted and molested as they are) but I'm not smart or resourceful enough for working out some niche so I'll probably be forced to engage with society and live a pitiful wagie life at the bottom of the totem pole. This then reactivates my lizard brain, creating all sorts of negative emotions and thoughts, telling me to kill myself for being such an invalid. Yeah you can call me a failed normalfag, unfortunately I'm not one of the lucky few genetic lone wolfs or stoic larpers that has no desire for friendship, camaraderie or belonging, I can ignore it for a time but it always comes back, to me these are the only things that could make working and existing among other people worthwhile, and if I can't attain them then there's no hope - I'll only get older, uglier, more twisted and alienated, doomed to exist in some ethereal pseudo autistic void of melancholy and disappointment, in a world that won't even let losers like me escape into fantasy without cunts ruining it.
>>240842
Good post wiz. Well, not good post – really morbid post, a real shо ga nai post, but you hit the nail on the head. Shit's fucked.
Good post wiz. Well, not good post – really morbid post, a real shо ga nai post, but you hit the nail on the head. Shit's fucked.
>>240842
You just sound like a normalfag who has autism being able to introspect is fundemental to a wizard. By genetic lucky lone wolfs you mean schizoids? you do not realize that by not needing company of others and being schizoid means that the value of nearly every activity is lowered as it relates to increasing your social position etc. It is not gaining something when you are schizoid but missing out on a huge chunk of what makes life enjoyable to the point you do not enjoy it.
The very fact you think that you oculd be happy after winning big on crypto shows how utterly ignorant you are and I suggest keeping it that way because once you look behind the curtain well.. there is no going back.
You just sound like a normalfag who has autism being able to introspect is fundemental to a wizard. By genetic lucky lone wolfs you mean schizoids? you do not realize that by not needing company of others and being schizoid means that the value of nearly every activity is lowered as it relates to increasing your social position etc. It is not gaining something when you are schizoid but missing out on a huge chunk of what makes life enjoyable to the point you do not enjoy it.
The very fact you think that you oculd be happy after winning big on crypto shows how utterly ignorant you are and I suggest keeping it that way because once you look behind the curtain well.. there is no going back.
embracing the rot just laying in my vcave doing nothing not even watching anime gone are the days of escapism.
>>240842
Nailed it. There are some articulate motherfuckers here I tell you.
Do you have any kind of plan of action, any copes that you can cling to?
Nailed it. There are some articulate motherfuckers here I tell you.
Do you have any kind of plan of action, any copes that you can cling to?
my existence is a mistake that shouldn’t happened I’m just a bad genetic mutant and with no talent,strength or intelligence I hope I will find courage to kill myself.
>>240857
If anything you're the normalfag. You're just like those retarded social workers saying to poor wizards that can't leave their home how pathetic they are and how much they miss out on life. You're the worst kind of person.
If anything you're the normalfag. You're just like those retarded social workers saying to poor wizards that can't leave their home how pathetic they are and how much they miss out on life. You're the worst kind of person.
>been retardedly raised to be nice above all things
>can't make demands
>when someone calls me out for something I don't do I just stay shut up or apologize
>the other day I went to a doctor and they misdiagnosed me and I was too afraid to speak up and just thanked him and paid him and went away with nothing solved
>can't make demands
>when someone calls me out for something I don't do I just stay shut up or apologize
>the other day I went to a doctor and they misdiagnosed me and I was too afraid to speak up and just thanked him and paid him and went away with nothing solved
>>240895
>went there to get help with my hand/wrist/arm tendons that hurt and don't let me type much on the computer anymore
>it peaked three years ago when a couple fingers started hurting more than the others and I could barely press a key or a guitar string without them burning
>gave up on computers then and today they still start hurting again and get stuff within minutes of typing
>doctor barely believed my pain could be that strong and said my tendons were all fine on his test :-)
>told me that I need to strenghten them up to the needs of the activity
>as if they weren't exercised when I typed the whole day as a meet and dabbling on guitar
>went there to get help with my hand/wrist/arm tendons that hurt and don't let me type much on the computer anymore
>it peaked three years ago when a couple fingers started hurting more than the others and I could barely press a key or a guitar string without them burning
>gave up on computers then and today they still start hurting again and get stuff within minutes of typing
>doctor barely believed my pain could be that strong and said my tendons were all fine on his test :-)
>told me that I need to strenghten them up to the needs of the activity
>as if they weren't exercised when I typed the whole day as a meet and dabbling on guitar
File: 1622320107684.jpg (177.02 KB, 720x1560, 6:13, 20210529_162507.jpg) ImgOps iqdb
Wow people are fucking dumb. Imagine defending creating life and dumping it after an arbitray amout of time because it no longer is useful to you. Fucking morons.
File: 1622320144983.jpg (131.01 KB, 720x1560, 6:13, 20210529_162614.jpg) ImgOps iqdb
Fucking idiots.
I make up tragic stories in my head and cry in real life. I am crying right now after imagining a story about a mentally ill NEET who slowly loses his sanity and runs off to the forest so he doesn't trouble his parents. Yesterday, I cried after imagining the story of tribal warlords who seek revenge for the genocide of their people.
>>240798
I'd imagine the wizards among us who are actual losers and not just LARPing are chronically homeless, unemployed and don't have the energy to post here that often. Then the next level up are the NEETs who still live with their parents. They happen to post on /hob/ and the other less active boards here. Then the next level up are the wagies who mainly stick to /dep/ because they hate their very existence. And finally the wizards who are living the dream, are financially successful and post on /wiz/ and /lounge/ for the most part.
I'd imagine the wizards among us who are actual losers and not just LARPing are chronically homeless, unemployed and don't have the energy to post here that often. Then the next level up are the NEETs who still live with their parents. They happen to post on /hob/ and the other less active boards here. Then the next level up are the wagies who mainly stick to /dep/ because they hate their very existence. And finally the wizards who are living the dream, are financially successful and post on /wiz/ and /lounge/ for the most part.
>>240936
Same. I wonder what the underlying utility of this behavior is. Are you an emotionally repressed person?
Same. I wonder what the underlying utility of this behavior is. Are you an emotionally repressed person?
>>240945
>Are you an emotionally repressed person?
I think I am. I try not to show my emotions around other people and am addicted to my computer as escapism from uncomfortable feelings.
>I wonder what the underlying utility of this behavior
Maybe it's just an escape behavior. It's engaging to think up stories and the emotions associated with them is cathartic and pleasurable. A think to note is when I am angry, my daydreaming started to consist of thing like me committing terrorism acts and such. I don't think these sorts of fantasy feel good or serve much utility at all. Maybe I just have an overactive imagination and poor emotional regulation.
>Are you an emotionally repressed person?
I think I am. I try not to show my emotions around other people and am addicted to my computer as escapism from uncomfortable feelings.
>I wonder what the underlying utility of this behavior
Maybe it's just an escape behavior. It's engaging to think up stories and the emotions associated with them is cathartic and pleasurable. A think to note is when I am angry, my daydreaming started to consist of thing like me committing terrorism acts and such. I don't think these sorts of fantasy feel good or serve much utility at all. Maybe I just have an overactive imagination and poor emotional regulation.
Started having schizophrenic hallucinations, like I keep hearing my alarm clock going off and I'm now hearing people talking crap about me despite being alone.
>>240949
You can get that if not schizophrenic I get all sorts of hallucinatiosn myself try not to worry about it it is really more the psychotic breaks that cause issues and only ify ou go too far into a delusion. If you mention this to a doctor they will push antipsychotics on your and the cure is worse than the illness unless you are seriously schizo
You can get that if not schizophrenic I get all sorts of hallucinatiosn myself try not to worry about it it is really more the psychotic breaks that cause issues and only ify ou go too far into a delusion. If you mention this to a doctor they will push antipsychotics on your and the cure is worse than the illness unless you are seriously schizo
>>240940
This might be true because the normalfag and truwiz vibes in /wiz/ give me anxiety, /lounge/ is filled with /pol/ content and pron, /hob/ while comfy reminds me too much of how I don't have any hobby. So I'm stuck with /dep/ mostly and it is the best it gets I suppose.
This might be true because the normalfag and truwiz vibes in /wiz/ give me anxiety, /lounge/ is filled with /pol/ content and pron, /hob/ while comfy reminds me too much of how I don't have any hobby. So I'm stuck with /dep/ mostly and it is the best it gets I suppose.
>>240958
NTA but I think a lot of wiz just do not bother contributing to discussions not out of a lack of capacity or means but because they have no energy and have spent so many years online there is just little point. The wiz who hate on /dep/ come across like normalfags and you can be a normalfag virgin it is not even uncommon.
NTA but I think a lot of wiz just do not bother contributing to discussions not out of a lack of capacity or means but because they have no energy and have spent so many years online there is just little point. The wiz who hate on /dep/ come across like normalfags and you can be a normalfag virgin it is not even uncommon.
>sunday
two days at home and it's already becoming uncomfortable. no brushing teeth, no sun, no showers, no nothing if im not going to do something on the world. and my wrists are starting to hurt from sitting on the computer all day, head and mouth hurts too. plus being in the same house as my crazy brother makes each minute stressful, draining and tiresome. the last couple weekends were better because he was out banging some whore or doing drugs. cant wait to go slave myself again tomorrow.
two days at home and it's already becoming uncomfortable. no brushing teeth, no sun, no showers, no nothing if im not going to do something on the world. and my wrists are starting to hurt from sitting on the computer all day, head and mouth hurts too. plus being in the same house as my crazy brother makes each minute stressful, draining and tiresome. the last couple weekends were better because he was out banging some whore or doing drugs. cant wait to go slave myself again tomorrow.
i cant bring myself to do my chores
it's like that thing that the longer youve been watching tv the harder it is to turn it off, except it's with the computer
it's like that thing that the longer youve been watching tv the harder it is to turn it off, except it's with the computer
I can have just one very simple thing to do and then still not do it day after day despite intending to do it each and every day. Right now it's cutting my hair. It's to the point that normies are giving me looks. Why can't I just make myself do it?
File: 1622646325661.png (99.77 KB, 500x628, 125:157, drug shapes.png) ImgOps iqdb
File: 1622666723032.png (283.44 KB, 551x409, 551:409, netherlands.PNG) ImgOps iqdb
ever think about how shit 90%+ people on this Earth have it? That your suffering will never be helped because it's not unique and tons of people have it worse. I've been thinking about moving out of the US for the Netherlands or another high quality of life western European country, but the more I learn about them the more I figure it's only moderately better than the US. There's no utopia. wageslaving will always be a thing unless you do something drastic and live completely differently in a way you weren't conditioned. No one can hep my mental issues that keep me from forming or keeping relationships. Being alive is just kinda shit and we have to endure it for the rest of our lives.
>>241080
You aren't wrong, I drink mountain dew occasionally and my god it makes me work or do shit for some reason.
You aren't wrong, I drink mountain dew occasionally and my god it makes me work or do shit for some reason.
>>241088
The Netherlands are a good place to live in (unless you live in one of the major cities like Amsterdam) but yeah, the culture may be more workaholic in nature than that of the US.
The Netherlands are a good place to live in (unless you live in one of the major cities like Amsterdam) but yeah, the culture may be more workaholic in nature than that of the US.
I fucking hate postpubescent children, especially on the internet. Puberty is the killer of innocence.
>>241110
Things were alright before puberty. Then one boy shoots up like a tree overnight. The others follow suit. succubi start getting their curves: some receive nature's blessings in abundance, and from then on are initiated in the ways of the adult world. Then everyone learns what sex is, and a more complex social hierarchy materializes. Those who can't compete are squeezed out. Children can be crafty, sure, but they're nothing compared to the duplicity which teenagers learn to make use of in maneuvering their ever-growing social circles. I hate sex. Sex makes young people go to such lengths for its sake. A child is effectively dead once all their built-in normalfaggot transformation protocols kick in. Puberty is the death of innocence, just as a butterfly's emergence from its chrysalis signals the death of the pupa it once was.
Things were alright before puberty. Then one boy shoots up like a tree overnight. The others follow suit. succubi start getting their curves: some receive nature's blessings in abundance, and from then on are initiated in the ways of the adult world. Then everyone learns what sex is, and a more complex social hierarchy materializes. Those who can't compete are squeezed out. Children can be crafty, sure, but they're nothing compared to the duplicity which teenagers learn to make use of in maneuvering their ever-growing social circles. I hate sex. Sex makes young people go to such lengths for its sake. A child is effectively dead once all their built-in normalfaggot transformation protocols kick in. Puberty is the death of innocence, just as a butterfly's emergence from its chrysalis signals the death of the pupa it once was.
>>241111
Children can be evil too. Life only cares about passing on of DNA and doesn't care about the hell it creates in between.
Children can be evil too. Life only cares about passing on of DNA and doesn't care about the hell it creates in between.
>>241110
>especially on the internet
Absolutely. I know that every generation goes "oh kids these days" but that was all before internet. The internet has funamentally changed the way human beings operate and think. I see kids 2 or 3 years old with ipads operating them from muscle memory. Before they can even speak they have a direct link between their brain and the internet. The internet as a whole is practically grooming kids; taking the role of friends and family. I tried making a twitter account because I were curious (yes I know, big mistake) and the kids on there all had bios filled with weird pronoun stuff and self diagnosed mental illnesses. I saw one argue with someone alse and they went "umm sweety I'm underage and you made contact first so apologize or I'm reporting you (:".
>especially on the internet
Absolutely. I know that every generation goes "oh kids these days" but that was all before internet. The internet has funamentally changed the way human beings operate and think. I see kids 2 or 3 years old with ipads operating them from muscle memory. Before they can even speak they have a direct link between their brain and the internet. The internet as a whole is practically grooming kids; taking the role of friends and family. I tried making a twitter account because I were curious (yes I know, big mistake) and the kids on there all had bios filled with weird pronoun stuff and self diagnosed mental illnesses. I saw one argue with someone alse and they went "umm sweety I'm underage and you made contact first so apologize or I'm reporting you (:".
Have barely slept for 5 nights. I feel barely sentient. Not sure how much longer I can go on. Life has been one hell of a fucking disappointment. Humanity deserves everything it gets. Wish I was low IQ enough or had an NPC personality type so I could brainwash myself into religion and become a monk or something. Anything to escape this perpetual misery
File: 1622729771897.jpg (8.2 KB, 311x436, 311:436, Water_Rune.jpg) ImgOps iqdb
>>240936
Do you even drink your own tears? It's therapeutical
Do you even drink your own tears? It's therapeutical
>>240562
>Diet, fasting and colon cleansing were the "warp wanings" long ago I explained here.
Read from Suvorin, Ehret and Daniel Reid. I won't explain anymore, it's mostly physical.
And it takes quite a lot of time to have proper results.
>Diet, fasting and colon cleansing were the "warp wanings" long ago I explained here.
Read from Suvorin, Ehret and Daniel Reid. I won't explain anymore, it's mostly physical.
And it takes quite a lot of time to have proper results.
>>240535
I used to bully my bullies… no way out the constant fear I was into everytime.
But why in the world would you want to have anyone else looking like you?
I used to bully my bullies… no way out the constant fear I was into everytime.
But why in the world would you want to have anyone else looking like you?
>>241113
Twitter is such a vile cesspool. It used to be Tumblr but Twitter is both more popular and degenerate than its predecessor. Still can't believe that 13yo gay furries and prepubescents transgender kids are not just figments of my imagination. This is the reality that we live in, and it's only going to get worse.
Twitter is such a vile cesspool. It used to be Tumblr but Twitter is both more popular and degenerate than its predecessor. Still can't believe that 13yo gay furries and prepubescents transgender kids are not just figments of my imagination. This is the reality that we live in, and it's only going to get worse.
Sometimes I get so bored it becomes almost a sublime emotion. Like something transcendent or other worldly.
You know those news about people that first kill their family members and then themselves? I'm having a a lot of sympathy for them recently.
Was bored so decided to try discord and even imageboard servers were garbage and I know that the good places are not easy to find but I do not want to spend time getting to know people and joining them plus it is a small world. Socializing just does not seem like the effort seriously it is much better to read or do anything else unless you are willing to put in the time to get to know people and establish yourself within a group
>junkie, aids infested, construction worker, brother randomly started asking mom to leave a bigger share of the house for him on the testament (dad died recently and mom is 69)
>mom said he'll then have to be better and help around the house more and stop doing drugs and making hell at any time of day or night
>also tells him to get a house of his own instead of having just a bedroom in his parents house forever
>brother gets mad and starts raising his voice
>brings up that the other day his boss called and asked if he had spent the night out or if he had proper sleep, mom said he spent the night out, and boss didn't take him to work that day
>starts yelling at mom for not lying that he did sleep the night at home and demands her to pay him his daily wage because it's HER FAULT that he didn't work
>I say that if he didn't want that to happen he shouldnt have spent the night out
>he tells me that he was drunk but was good to work and mom should have lied
Should I get this fucker arrested for holding drugs?
I should have done it years ago so that he wouldn't make my dad ill from severe (and I mean severe) stress, depression and threatenings, but since he's already dead I didn't do anything, but he deserves some punishment and he also keeps making hell at home for me and mom.
>mom said he'll then have to be better and help around the house more and stop doing drugs and making hell at any time of day or night
>also tells him to get a house of his own instead of having just a bedroom in his parents house forever
>brother gets mad and starts raising his voice
>brings up that the other day his boss called and asked if he had spent the night out or if he had proper sleep, mom said he spent the night out, and boss didn't take him to work that day
>starts yelling at mom for not lying that he did sleep the night at home and demands her to pay him his daily wage because it's HER FAULT that he didn't work
>I say that if he didn't want that to happen he shouldnt have spent the night out
>he tells me that he was drunk but was good to work and mom should have lied
Should I get this fucker arrested for holding drugs?
I should have done it years ago so that he wouldn't make my dad ill from severe (and I mean severe) stress, depression and threatenings, but since he's already dead I didn't do anything, but he deserves some punishment and he also keeps making hell at home for me and mom.
>>241178
Make sure he is caught with enough drugs to be away from a long time, otherwise he'll be back at the house in 2 weeks and probably with an worse temper.
Make sure he is caught with enough drugs to be away from a long time, otherwise he'll be back at the house in 2 weeks and probably with an worse temper.
People often use the phrase to 'grow up'. Now where I'm 28 I finally start to understand what that means. It basically means to lobotomize your own thoughts and experience. It means to just do stuff and move on and don't think about it. It's the most retarded thing in the world. It means the loss of magic and and the loss of questions about what is going and why we exist. It means to earn money, survive. Now you don't read books anymore, you consume them and forget them. It's pointless to read deep stuff or to be interested in higher knowledge. The only function of that is to waste time.
>work out and starting to feel better about myself
>heard family being angry downstairs about how the local thugs gave them shit
>realize I live in a corrupt, crime ridden shithole and get depressed again
When I was younger I had the delusion of being successful and taking my family to live in a better place. Now I am a mess.
>heard family being angry downstairs about how the local thugs gave them shit
>realize I live in a corrupt, crime ridden shithole and get depressed again
When I was younger I had the delusion of being successful and taking my family to live in a better place. Now I am a mess.
>>241225
It barely gets more down to earth than this. Could be straight out of a side plot from The Wire.
It barely gets more down to earth than this. Could be straight out of a side plot from The Wire.
>>241205
yes, basically it means to be a wage slave because everyone else is doing it so if you're not doing it they get jealous and hate you because it feels unfair to them, but in reality everyone's life is their own to live how they please, if they didn't want to work they didn't have to. The only thing keeping them in line is the groupthink and collective shaming and snubbing they impose on anyone who falls out of line.
yes, basically it means to be a wage slave because everyone else is doing it so if you're not doing it they get jealous and hate you because it feels unfair to them, but in reality everyone's life is their own to live how they please, if they didn't want to work they didn't have to. The only thing keeping them in line is the groupthink and collective shaming and snubbing they impose on anyone who falls out of line.
>>241241
Being a neet doesn't make you special or superior to other people in the way you think. Humans have been wageslaving since ever, in a way or another, it's not a case of "everyone else is doing it so I have to do it too", it's the fact that people need to survive
Being a neet doesn't make you special or superior to other people in the way you think. Humans have been wageslaving since ever, in a way or another, it's not a case of "everyone else is doing it so I have to do it too", it's the fact that people need to survive
File: 1622920579857.png (2.44 MB, 1920x1080, 16:9, anime spice and wolf give ….png) ImgOps iqdb
>>241205
Anybody worth anything is a halfway delusional loonie.
Going around challenging literally everybody to a sword duel? You must be absolute cuckoo to do that. But it has been done and now that man is immortal.
Anybody worth anything is a halfway delusional loonie.
Going around challenging literally everybody to a sword duel? You must be absolute cuckoo to do that. But it has been done and now that man is immortal.
>>241242
Where did I say it made me superior? The wage slaves are the ones who care about such things, they are not only working to survive, they are working to "succeed" aka prove themselves superior to others. They are trying to fit into societal ideals that are pushed by corporations for profit so they can attract succubi. I have no interest in such a thing, I just live how I want to. The reality is that you can live a wealthy life by all of human history's standards by being a panhandler on the street today or simply living with your parents or living on bux of some sort. We have had centuries of technological progress that have created immense wealth and productivity. To produce the same amount of wealth that people had just 100 years ago with today's technology would take only a fraction of the time that we currently spend working. My problem with it today is that we're not actually working out of necessity anymore, we're working because of debt slavery.
Think about it, in normal circumstances in the past if you wanted a house you would find a patch of unclaimed land and build a house on it. Once the labor of building the house was completed, you were rewarded with the house, plain and simple. Now the houses already exist, everything has been built out already, but if you want one of them and the land it sits on you have to pay through the nose to get it because all the land is owned and everyone is competing with everyone else to buy it with big multi decade loans given out by banks that do nothing but suck money from people like leeches. The more finacialized the economy as a whole becomes the more people are forced to play by the rules and go into debt for everything they want to buy, this makes them little more than slaves being obligated to work somewhere unless they want to lose their home and all their worldly possessions. It's all so artificial and pointless especially considering the massive problem of global warming that we're making worse by requiring everyone to work flat out exploiting every resource possible to "make it" and "be an adult". I just want nothing to do with it, if you want to go ahead and tell yourself that makes you superior to me, go ahead but I have no interest in doing the same.
Where did I say it made me superior? The wage slaves are the ones who care about such things, they are not only working to survive, they are working to "succeed" aka prove themselves superior to others. They are trying to fit into societal ideals that are pushed by corporations for profit so they can attract succubi. I have no interest in such a thing, I just live how I want to. The reality is that you can live a wealthy life by all of human history's standards by being a panhandler on the street today or simply living with your parents or living on bux of some sort. We have had centuries of technological progress that have created immense wealth and productivity. To produce the same amount of wealth that people had just 100 years ago with today's technology would take only a fraction of the time that we currently spend working. My problem with it today is that we're not actually working out of necessity anymore, we're working because of debt slavery.
Think about it, in normal circumstances in the past if you wanted a house you would find a patch of unclaimed land and build a house on it. Once the labor of building the house was completed, you were rewarded with the house, plain and simple. Now the houses already exist, everything has been built out already, but if you want one of them and the land it sits on you have to pay through the nose to get it because all the land is owned and everyone is competing with everyone else to buy it with big multi decade loans given out by banks that do nothing but suck money from people like leeches. The more finacialized the economy as a whole becomes the more people are forced to play by the rules and go into debt for everything they want to buy, this makes them little more than slaves being obligated to work somewhere unless they want to lose their home and all their worldly possessions. It's all so artificial and pointless especially considering the massive problem of global warming that we're making worse by requiring everyone to work flat out exploiting every resource possible to "make it" and "be an adult". I just want nothing to do with it, if you want to go ahead and tell yourself that makes you superior to me, go ahead but I have no interest in doing the same.
>>241244
Your life would be hell if from one day to the next day suddenly everyone on this planet would decide that they don't want to work anymore. Food, electricity, water, sanitary infrastructure, house services, have fun dealing with that entirely on your own.
Your life would be hell if from one day to the next day suddenly everyone on this planet would decide that they don't want to work anymore. Food, electricity, water, sanitary infrastructure, house services, have fun dealing with that entirely on your own.
>>241280
I'm definitely not advocating for that, I'm just saying that we're doing a bunch of work that is essentially not necessary and just for luxury and we're doing it all on a completely selfish level with every man competing against one another for wage slave positions on unequal and unfair terms. If the basic question of life is how do we provide everyone with the basic level of wealth to live a happy life there are infinitely better ways to do it than the current clusterfuck but that's not the goal, the goal is to perform our stupid fucking mating rituals because humans are stupid fucking monkeys that are controlled by instinct. We will destroy the environment and make it unlivable for the massive numbers of people we continue to shit out generation after generation. Famine and war is on the horizon again, we have just been living in a small golden age of energy abundance from fossil fuels that has allowed resource exploitation and wealth generation to go up to crazy levels but it's fundamentally unsustainable and will backfire.
Current society does not make sense to participate in. People who fundamentally do not even work and just own things will take the lions share of the profits of your labor so that you have just barely enough to fund a normal and socially acceptable lifestyle as long as you scrape and bow every day working playing the wage slave rat race. In return for this you get all the hedonistic pleasures that modern consumerist society can provide along with all the drunken social interactions with normies as you please. But of course me being here, I desire none of that, so therefore why would I put myself through the stress of working? It's not like people will starve if I don't go tend the fields or something, the world will continue on unchanged. As the pandemic clearly showed only a fraction of the people who work are actually "essential" and surprise surprise it turns out they're all low tier wage slaves and all the rich people just fuck around on the computer in their underwear and pay themselves hundreds of thousands of dollars for doing work that is essentially pointless and unnecessary. The game is essentially rigged at its core and unless you have the traits it takes to play the game and worm your way through all the normie circles you will always be the one being exploited. I'm not about to play myself like that.
I'm definitely not advocating for that, I'm just saying that we're doing a bunch of work that is essentially not necessary and just for luxury and we're doing it all on a completely selfish level with every man competing against one another for wage slave positions on unequal and unfair terms. If the basic question of life is how do we provide everyone with the basic level of wealth to live a happy life there are infinitely better ways to do it than the current clusterfuck but that's not the goal, the goal is to perform our stupid fucking mating rituals because humans are stupid fucking monkeys that are controlled by instinct. We will destroy the environment and make it unlivable for the massive numbers of people we continue to shit out generation after generation. Famine and war is on the horizon again, we have just been living in a small golden age of energy abundance from fossil fuels that has allowed resource exploitation and wealth generation to go up to crazy levels but it's fundamentally unsustainable and will backfire.
Current society does not make sense to participate in. People who fundamentally do not even work and just own things will take the lions share of the profits of your labor so that you have just barely enough to fund a normal and socially acceptable lifestyle as long as you scrape and bow every day working playing the wage slave rat race. In return for this you get all the hedonistic pleasures that modern consumerist society can provide along with all the drunken social interactions with normies as you please. But of course me being here, I desire none of that, so therefore why would I put myself through the stress of working? It's not like people will starve if I don't go tend the fields or something, the world will continue on unchanged. As the pandemic clearly showed only a fraction of the people who work are actually "essential" and surprise surprise it turns out they're all low tier wage slaves and all the rich people just fuck around on the computer in their underwear and pay themselves hundreds of thousands of dollars for doing work that is essentially pointless and unnecessary. The game is essentially rigged at its core and unless you have the traits it takes to play the game and worm your way through all the normie circles you will always be the one being exploited. I'm not about to play myself like that.
>>241290
I agree with all that but even though I still have reasons to look for a job. I just don't know how to spend my time and feel like my mind and body rot after years of doing nothing. There are people who embrace and make use of the NEET lifestyle but I can't enjoy it for too long nor am I creative. The hedonistic pleasures are important to me as my whole life is based around escapism and the quality of this escapism requires money. My parents are disappointed and I can't move out. It's useless to hate your parents when you live under the same roof as them. Makes things only worse.
The game might be rigged but from a metaphysical point of view it doesn't matter either way. My life should have ended years ago, I was psychotic and often was at the train rails, but I couldn't do it, there's nothing to lose now. If I don't like working either I can still kill myself later.
I agree with all that but even though I still have reasons to look for a job. I just don't know how to spend my time and feel like my mind and body rot after years of doing nothing. There are people who embrace and make use of the NEET lifestyle but I can't enjoy it for too long nor am I creative. The hedonistic pleasures are important to me as my whole life is based around escapism and the quality of this escapism requires money. My parents are disappointed and I can't move out. It's useless to hate your parents when you live under the same roof as them. Makes things only worse.
The game might be rigged but from a metaphysical point of view it doesn't matter either way. My life should have ended years ago, I was psychotic and often was at the train rails, but I couldn't do it, there's nothing to lose now. If I don't like working either I can still kill myself later.
It's said that those who bear great resentment towards themselves are really just narcissists under another guise. That's true, I think: it takes a real self-obsessed person to ruminate over every aspect and condition of self; raising yourself up on the pillory is self-obsession, plain and simple. When someone who has a death-wish or a grudge against themselves threatens suicide, or invents fanciful hypotheticals ("If everyone within a 1 mile radius could vote to have me drawn and quartered, they'd do it! By God, they would!"), they are showcasing a particularly nasty version of egocentrism – that is, they are unwilling or even unable to admit that what ails them so is not an excess of self-love or self-hatred, but the desire to have the world bend to their whims and woes.
For a number of reasons the real world is becoming more and more hostile towards me, don't get me wrong the real world has always been hostile to me, but in the past few months things have been getting worse.
I wish I could just escape, not really die but escape, put me in some kind of happy slumber that I could wake up once or twice a week to greet my parents or something, I don't like this world, I don't like my environment so what I'm supposed to do? Take the wagie pill and "work hard" to change it? I don't even want to do that because even if I had money I would still live in this horrible world and that's the thing that makes me depressed.
I wish I could get fully immersed in vidya and anime like some hardcore gamer weebs out there, but I don't have neither the money or the proper mindset to get there.
So my choices are dealing with a world that is always hostile against me or killing myself, and honestly the killing myself option seems to grow stronger every single day….
I wish I could just escape, not really die but escape, put me in some kind of happy slumber that I could wake up once or twice a week to greet my parents or something, I don't like this world, I don't like my environment so what I'm supposed to do? Take the wagie pill and "work hard" to change it? I don't even want to do that because even if I had money I would still live in this horrible world and that's the thing that makes me depressed.
I wish I could get fully immersed in vidya and anime like some hardcore gamer weebs out there, but I don't have neither the money or the proper mindset to get there.
So my choices are dealing with a world that is always hostile against me or killing myself, and honestly the killing myself option seems to grow stronger every single day….
feel I have gotten mature I tried to interact with some people online and I just cannot get behind what conversations revolve around anymore as if I have outgrown socializing with others online. Who needs to socialize when you can entertain yourself with media
>>241374
Yeah. Fuck the moddess and her pet pooper (CCTroon) and fuck Mod Andrew. Fuck anime. Fuck anime ince|s.
Yeah. Fuck the moddess and her pet pooper (CCTroon) and fuck Mod Andrew. Fuck anime. Fuck anime ince|s.
What’s up friends, fastidious paragraph and good urging commented here, I
am truly enjoying by these.
am truly enjoying by these.
God I hate breeders so much.
Im going to create life because im a narcissistic asshole failure and hope my kid wont be a mediocre screw up like me. But guess what, you think theyre going to actually support their crotchspawn? NO because hey; tHaTs HoW tHeY wERe rAiSed! Then when their kid ends up a mediocre fuck up with no skills and low paying job that has to live at home, the breeders REFUSE to take responsibility! OR WORSE, kick their fucking spawn, that had no choice existing, out into the FUCKING STREET. OH my kid didnt end up rich and famous BYE BYE. You will never here a breeder admit they fucked up EVER. People should have to get a mental and financial evaluation before being allowed to have kids becuase this shit is just fucking insane to me.
Im going to create life because im a narcissistic asshole failure and hope my kid wont be a mediocre screw up like me. But guess what, you think theyre going to actually support their crotchspawn? NO because hey; tHaTs HoW tHeY wERe rAiSed! Then when their kid ends up a mediocre fuck up with no skills and low paying job that has to live at home, the breeders REFUSE to take responsibility! OR WORSE, kick their fucking spawn, that had no choice existing, out into the FUCKING STREET. OH my kid didnt end up rich and famous BYE BYE. You will never here a breeder admit they fucked up EVER. People should have to get a mental and financial evaluation before being allowed to have kids becuase this shit is just fucking insane to me.
>>241499
"Go forth and multiply"; the moment I read this was the moment I realized that the God of this world must be evil.
"Go forth and multiply"; the moment I read this was the moment I realized that the God of this world must be evil.
>>241499
> You will never here a breeder admit they fucked up EVER.
My mother routinely tells me that she’s a failure of a parent because of the way I turned out.
> You will never here a breeder admit they fucked up EVER.
My mother routinely tells me that she’s a failure of a parent because of the way I turned out.
-see a counselor
-she tells me a list of things I need to do every day
-leaving my room to sit outside for 15 minuets
-talk to family for 30 minuets a day
-stop eating out of the garbage
My family contacted them and told them I eat out of the garbage sometimes (for good reason) and this is menat to be bad behaviour.
I feel so misunderstood I eat out of the garbage because there is good food in there that gets thrown away and I hate waste. Normal niggers treat me like I am an animal.
-she tells me a list of things I need to do every day
-leaving my room to sit outside for 15 minuets
-talk to family for 30 minuets a day
-stop eating out of the garbage
My family contacted them and told them I eat out of the garbage sometimes (for good reason) and this is menat to be bad behaviour.
I feel so misunderstood I eat out of the garbage because there is good food in there that gets thrown away and I hate waste. Normal niggers treat me like I am an animal.
>>241526
I'll assume this is a serious post: a counselor will obviously encourage you to adopt healthy habits, and a good measure of health (or, at the very least, one of several metrics) is how far one differs from the baseline. Your habits are not "normal", and thus unhealthy. They elicit disgust from norms (and for good reason, too; you're liable to get sick because bad things go in the garbage, wiz).
I'll assume this is a serious post: a counselor will obviously encourage you to adopt healthy habits, and a good measure of health (or, at the very least, one of several metrics) is how far one differs from the baseline. Your habits are not "normal", and thus unhealthy. They elicit disgust from norms (and for good reason, too; you're liable to get sick because bad things go in the garbage, wiz).
Yeah no, stop eating trash. Even if the food looks fine it’s been sitting in the same container that rotting shit has. Just tell them not to throw shit out when you see them going for the trash.
File: 1623262574445.jpg (719.67 KB, 1985x2048, 1985:2048, 1620494112318.jpg) ImgOps iqdb
My exams are starting on the 20th and I am mentally incapable to sit down and focus on the matter, doesnt help that I didnt do anything the whole semester because I just cant concentrate on a computer screen.
I might just get a gun and kill myself if I dont make it, cant be bothered anymore to do an extra year or move to another city to study another subject.
I might just get a gun and kill myself if I dont make it, cant be bothered anymore to do an extra year or move to another city to study another subject.
>>241532
You’re mindset is so hard stuck on college you are seriously considering ending your life over some numbers on paper. College isn’t everything.
You’re mindset is so hard stuck on college you are seriously considering ending your life over some numbers on paper. College isn’t everything.
File: 1623262932684.gif (632.58 KB, 273x230, 273:230, dX7FUHo.gif) ImgOps iqdb
I'm afraid to die because I believe we are on the cusp of being able to upload our minds into the cloud to live forever.
I don't want to die and be trapped in an endless loop of suffering with the possibility of "awakening" in a new consciousness.
I don't want to die and be trapped in an endless loop of suffering with the possibility of "awakening" in a new consciousness.
>>241205
No it means to take responsibility for your actions. Which is also why you shouldnt care about what dumb normalfags say or do.
Grow up, its fun.
No it means to take responsibility for your actions. Which is also why you shouldnt care about what dumb normalfags say or do.
Grow up, its fun.
>>241529
Yes this is a serious post I could not help but laugh when she was telling me to eat food from the fridge like a human.I truly felt like I do not fit in with normal people when she was giving me a lecture about eating from the bin and isolating myself.
She says if I eat from the fridge and try look after myself I may learn to care about myself but is this true?
>>241531
I have never been sick I used to eat a lot of raw meat and rotting food in the past so have healthy guts or something I presume. My family go by the use by date instead of checking the food if it is good. I do not seem to get sick but am careful with what I will eat.
>>241532
Can you get some amphetamines to help you wizz? as others have said college is not everything you can change your perspective and be happy with nothing.
Yes this is a serious post I could not help but laugh when she was telling me to eat food from the fridge like a human.I truly felt like I do not fit in with normal people when she was giving me a lecture about eating from the bin and isolating myself.
She says if I eat from the fridge and try look after myself I may learn to care about myself but is this true?
>>241531
I have never been sick I used to eat a lot of raw meat and rotting food in the past so have healthy guts or something I presume. My family go by the use by date instead of checking the food if it is good. I do not seem to get sick but am careful with what I will eat.
>>241532
Can you get some amphetamines to help you wizz? as others have said college is not everything you can change your perspective and be happy with nothing.
>>241543
Honestly eating from the garbage probably won’t hurt you in the long run, and I don’t see how eating from the fridge will somehow normify you. But still there’s little reason to do so and it’s clearly causing you undue stress as your family keeps hassling you about it.
Honestly eating from the garbage probably won’t hurt you in the long run, and I don’t see how eating from the fridge will somehow normify you. But still there’s little reason to do so and it’s clearly causing you undue stress as your family keeps hassling you about it.
>>240480
Same. Even the tiniest responsibilities and expectations just make me too stressed to function. I have no idea how am I supposed to deal with this. How would someone like me ever get any job? I crumble under the smallest pressure.
Same. Even the tiniest responsibilities and expectations just make me too stressed to function. I have no idea how am I supposed to deal with this. How would someone like me ever get any job? I crumble under the smallest pressure.
My sex drive is dying rapidly and it's really breaking me. The last thing I could routinely enjoy is just dying. I look at porn, I feel horny, I even still get a boner, but I just can't will myself to touch my dick. I know the nofap cultists will say this is good, but it's just destroying me mentally.
I wanna make stuff like I used to do as teen but I am too apathetic and low energy now, I used to make games for no reason and they sucked and I didnt care because it was fun, now I open my text editor and just sigh, I think of all the crap I have to do, how no one will give a shit about it, how people already did what I want to do hundreds of times in every language imaginable
it used to be so fucking easy I didn't even have to try, now I don't even care enough to start
it used to be so fucking easy I didn't even have to try, now I don't even care enough to start
>>241622
I feel this way too except I never did creative hobby stuff when I was younger. My advice? Drink heavily and relax
I feel this way too except I never did creative hobby stuff when I was younger. My advice? Drink heavily and relax
>>241625
>Drink heavily and relax
Out of curiosity how old are you? I used to do that in my early 20s by my mid to late 20s binge drinking stopped being novel and began to take it's toll on my body. Now drinking does the opposite of helping me relax.
>Drink heavily and relax
Out of curiosity how old are you? I used to do that in my early 20s by my mid to late 20s binge drinking stopped being novel and began to take it's toll on my body. Now drinking does the opposite of helping me relax.
>>241635
good old weed never let me down. Not only can I relax but I can actually feel pleasure. Alcohol in comparison makes me feel physically terrible.
good old weed never let me down. Not only can I relax but I can actually feel pleasure. Alcohol in comparison makes me feel physically terrible.
>>241533
I just returned to school at 24 years old, nothing I ever attempted succeeded and I am sick of failing all the time.
Its really taking a toll on me, I havent had a single success since graduating high school.
I just returned to school at 24 years old, nothing I ever attempted succeeded and I am sick of failing all the time.
Its really taking a toll on me, I havent had a single success since graduating high school.
Internet lingo and discussion corrupted my mind to a great deal. I exhaustively started using the internet for communication purposes around 11 years ago, I was 17-18 then. Before my life wasn't great or anything like that but I was kind of more of myself, a person who lives in his own little bubble of a world view and meanings, opinions and semantics. Now, this does not mean much as I obviously was still a child back then. However I came to the conclusion that the very form of communicating online influenced me in a negative way. This is including text, images and videos, from image boards like 4chad where I started in 2010, to forums and reddit and even stuff like comment sections on youtube, and of course porn sites, gore, personal blogs, reading about other people's stories and opinions,red pills and other colors, conspiracy theories, pol, life style theories, reading how people live better life's than me. The internet lets you forget your own life, it let's your own life look meaningless. I am drowning in its hyperspeed of information, there is always another source that let's me know that someone right now somewhere knows more than me, lives a happier life than me, knows the truth about how things work. It's equally pointless to read the stuff of depressed and sick people, how would that better my situation, it only spreads more miserable thoughts in my brain. People apparently know what's good and what I should do better than me who is sitting here with my own past but apparently according to the internet I should just listen to this random guy who knows something I missed out on. And what I mean with the form of communication is that the hyperlinks, never-ending content, endless amounts of people who think they have something important to say or do online, and always updating information about what is supposed to be important right now, what I should consume and what opinions I should held now, all these things never give us a break. There's constantly another f5 refresh button to be pressed and it will with no doubt present new information. All the while I forget why I'm even online and why I care about any of these information because 99.99 % of them are a waste. And yet there are some invasive ideas that infect the mind, especially when it's repeated again and again like all the useless red pills and hollow philosophical memes that spread like a fire and everyone adopts to these stupid ideas like sheep. That is, when they are in vogue. The general topoi, e.g. things that people care about and how they adress certain issues, of the internet seem to work in waves and these change every few years. Right now it seems to be in vogue to have mental illness. No wonder I think when actual children grow up in this swamp, they never knew anything else meaning they never had time to see the world and themselves their untouched by the hyperlinked society.
>>241791
Very good post. I took the time to read all of it and agree with you fully.
I do wish your text was spaced though, so it would be easier to read for most people, and transmitting your ideas would be more effective.
But all the points in your post are correct.
Very good post. I took the time to read all of it and agree with you fully.
I do wish your text was spaced though, so it would be easier to read for most people, and transmitting your ideas would be more effective.
But all the points in your post are correct.
>>241656
Well obviously I cant, I am also sick of the NEET life and just feel bored and tired of everything, like I cant be bothered to either study or work or NEET, its just all some tiresome.
Well obviously I cant, I am also sick of the NEET life and just feel bored and tired of everything, like I cant be bothered to either study or work or NEET, its just all some tiresome.
>>241806
Thank you.
Despite recognizing all this it's still hard to avoid. The corruption has already taken place. Even though I know better I still will without reason go online. It doesn't help to simply say 'I will not use the computer or smartphone anymore'. What else do I have to kill time during the day?
But I am trying small steps and writing that post helped a bit. This is another instance of laying in bed after waking up where I could do something better like going to the bath and take care. Well I'll stop now. Small steps and getting more aware of what I'm doing and all that stuff
Thank you.
Despite recognizing all this it's still hard to avoid. The corruption has already taken place. Even though I know better I still will without reason go online. It doesn't help to simply say 'I will not use the computer or smartphone anymore'. What else do I have to kill time during the day?
But I am trying small steps and writing that post helped a bit. This is another instance of laying in bed after waking up where I could do something better like going to the bath and take care. Well I'll stop now. Small steps and getting more aware of what I'm doing and all that stuff
Can't see any future in which my life has meaning. I dread what's coming in a general sense (the world, my country) and in a personal sense. Might as well go with a bang, right?
>>241910
Have you ever thought about what "meaning" should entail? Because in my opinion its just an attempt to rationalize depression.
What, you wanna be famous?
Have you ever thought about what "meaning" should entail? Because in my opinion its just an attempt to rationalize depression.
What, you wanna be famous?
File: 1623809990969.jpg (277.89 KB, 1176x872, 147:109, 1589048592934.jpg) ImgOps iqdb
That "Fuck it, back to Wizchan banner" is painfully, brutally accurate. Every time I pry myself away from this place in search of other things to occupy my time, I inevitably fall into the sinkhole that is the modern internet. Every contact with the zeitgeist leaves me feeling varying degrees of anger, culture shock and dysphoria ; I don't know if I'm living on planet Earth anymore. I don't know how people communicate anymore – the descriptions and comments of Youtube videos from 10 years ago seem much more straightforward and honest than anything on that website today. It's as if people are slowly forgetting how to speak English, too; all "sus" this "cringe" that. Disgusting. There's just too much information now, too many optics to uncover, and – against all reason – this deluge of data obfuscates the true nature of things, rather than revealing them.
No matter how bad this place gets, there's always something worse. Everything else gives me a goddamn headache.
No matter how bad this place gets, there's always something worse. Everything else gives me a goddamn headache.
>>241983
What are you doing insulting someone for having a low IQ or not being masculine on fucking wizchan?
What are you doing insulting someone for having a low IQ or not being masculine on fucking wizchan?
File: 1623823914335.jpeg (156.43 KB, 1080x1073, 1080:1073, B65AB1FF-05E2-4ED9-8FEA-A….jpeg) ImgOps iqdb
Wizards, may I present to you modern day humor.
File: 1623845265407.jpg (268.54 KB, 720x1608, 30:67, a4DZDogxrtk0xuOB8krQ31erkB….jpg) ImgOps iqdb
>>241999
Zoomzooms are cringe by default
Zoomzooms are cringe by default
>>241982
The internet is just no replacement for genuine human interaction. In fact it makes it much worse in the long run. That's the price we pay for anonymity and an override of content. This place is probably the best for what it is supposed to be, but yeah… I feel like ever since it was down for a few days it got even slower here. Hell, sometimes I wish it would have just stayed death. Not sure why.
The internet is just no replacement for genuine human interaction. In fact it makes it much worse in the long run. That's the price we pay for anonymity and an override of content. This place is probably the best for what it is supposed to be, but yeah… I feel like ever since it was down for a few days it got even slower here. Hell, sometimes I wish it would have just stayed death. Not sure why.
going to keep this brief
29 years old and have been paying parents $600 in rent a month to 2016 and $800 a month up to now. I have never missed a rent payment.
My parents: treat me as a servant, threaten me physically, threaten to destroy my property, threaten to write me out of their will, spy on me with house cameras
What sort of legal action can I take?
It's hard to just move out when you're property gets threatened in the process.
29 years old and have been paying parents $600 in rent a month to 2016 and $800 a month up to now. I have never missed a rent payment.
My parents: treat me as a servant, threaten me physically, threaten to destroy my property, threaten to write me out of their will, spy on me with house cameras
What sort of legal action can I take?
It's hard to just move out when you're property gets threatened in the process.
>>242063
my parents do the same exact things, what gets to me the most is the physical violence/threats to kill me and the spy cameras. I don't understand why parents do this
my parents do the same exact things, what gets to me the most is the physical violence/threats to kill me and the spy cameras. I don't understand why parents do this
File: 1623959478211.jpg (47.13 KB, 640x629, 640:629, image0-1.jpg) ImgOps iqdb
I'm russian,dodging the draft and completely lost all interest in my hobbies and degree. First one was quite enough to neck myself tbh.
It's interesting how every attempt to improve my life fails and drags me down closer to paralyzed depression.
I hope whichever forces control my life allow me to die soon and be annihilated.
I hope whichever forces control my life allow me to die soon and be annihilated.
File: 1623964302264-0.jpg (40.79 KB, 700x457, 700:457, 14148178507440.jpg) ImgOps iqdb
i feel like my brain is shutting off and i will collapse. i can't think. i can't do even the simplest tasks. sleepy. want to die. why it's so hard to die?
I fucking hate everyone. And I mean everyone. Every human living and dead. I can’t fucking stand them. They torment me to no end. And when I seclude myself hoping to find peace of mind I find only that I hate myself as well.
>>242071
the depression is always the worst for me after another failed attempt to improve my life. At this point I've pretty much stopped trying.
the depression is always the worst for me after another failed attempt to improve my life. At this point I've pretty much stopped trying.
>>242068
Dont like 97% of all Russians dodge the draft because the Army is shit? What are you doing there as an apprentice???
Btw I have a Russian exam this monday and I think I am going to neck myself, still dont know like 60% of the vocabulary.
Dont like 97% of all Russians dodge the draft because the Army is shit? What are you doing there as an apprentice???
Btw I have a Russian exam this monday and I think I am going to neck myself, still dont know like 60% of the vocabulary.
the last time i remember feeling joy or satisfaction was middle school, over a decade ago. even then it was fickle, short-lived, and intertwined with being pushed into lockers and having my stuff thrown into urinals. please god dont let me wake up tomorrow morning. please god have some mercy on a coward who cant grow a spine enough to off himself.
I hate politics and I hate the overly politicized nature of the internet. I hope everybody who participates in this stupid tribalistic "MY SIDE GOOD YOUR SIDE BAD" nonsense gets their heads flattened by a tractor.
>>242160
You can't escape it. One way or another they will find you, they will kick down your door, and they will demand you join their side or perish.
You can't escape it. One way or another they will find you, they will kick down your door, and they will demand you join their side or perish.
>>242140
I can relate to this, school was terrible and most likely ruined my mental health even more but I felt way more alive back then
I can relate to this, school was terrible and most likely ruined my mental health even more but I felt way more alive back then
>>240479
I feel like my spirit has been broken that I have to be forced working mandatory overtime because amazon is doing some stupid special for the week, get called lazy by my parents for not wanting to do it, so i'll probably be a yes man and never take a day off for the rest of the year, I hope they'll be happy and I hope I get killed in the job by some stupid warehouse, this fucking life isn't worth it, fuck this man.
I feel like my spirit has been broken that I have to be forced working mandatory overtime because amazon is doing some stupid special for the week, get called lazy by my parents for not wanting to do it, so i'll probably be a yes man and never take a day off for the rest of the year, I hope they'll be happy and I hope I get killed in the job by some stupid warehouse, this fucking life isn't worth it, fuck this man.
I wish I didn't get so negatively affected by mom being mean to me. She was going to fry and asked me to remove the smoke sensor to prevent its siren from going off. I'm short so I couldn't reach it and wanted to grab it with a jump but it fell down and she started screaming about how lazy I am because I didn't bring a chair, how I just lie around, how it's broken (it's not) and how I have to pay for it. Said nothing to my sister of course and then she wonders why I avoid her and doing things in general.
Also fuck the government for forcing this shit since a few years.
>just remove it permanently
That's what I said but if something happened we would be liable.
Also fuck the government for forcing this shit since a few years.
>just remove it permanently
That's what I said but if something happened we would be liable.
>>242204
My mother wasn't able to mentally handle shit as well and she'd have outbursts at me for almost any mistake I made. She destroyed a lot of things that belonged to me including a lot of toys I loved, sometimes not even in front of me which is really weird when I think about it now, makes me wonder if she just wanted to let off frustration or if she wanted to punish me.
Funny enough when I turned out to be the same mental mess as her everyone acted like it's my fault and my mother would get mad at me for behaving exactly the same way as her.
My mother wasn't able to mentally handle shit as well and she'd have outbursts at me for almost any mistake I made. She destroyed a lot of things that belonged to me including a lot of toys I loved, sometimes not even in front of me which is really weird when I think about it now, makes me wonder if she just wanted to let off frustration or if she wanted to punish me.
Funny enough when I turned out to be the same mental mess as her everyone acted like it's my fault and my mother would get mad at me for behaving exactly the same way as her.
Took a lot of drugs today to try to alter my state of mind so I could enjoy things. Nothing happened. Not sure what to do at this point.
The void is growing. I feel so hopeless, no path to follow, no one around, nothing. No dreams, no ambitions, not a thing to do beyond self contemplation. I feel like crying though, after all I'm human, the sorrow of all this acknowledging…it never ends.
>>242289
Yeah, but I couldn't find cheaper words to best describe what I was a feeling. I'm a little better now though
Yeah, but I couldn't find cheaper words to best describe what I was a feeling. I'm a little better now though
>>242289
>bit melodramatic
this is a depression crawl thread on the depression board, you fucking idiot
>bit melodramatic
this is a depression crawl thread on the depression board, you fucking idiot
As a kid I used to draw all the time or make action figtures by cutting paper, I was very creative. Even in school I would draw on the edges of the paper I was writting on because I couldn't stop myself from drawing. Now I'm 32 and it's been 15 years I don't draw anything. It just hit me today how I completely changed. I'm dead inside. If my kid self saw me today he would be ashamed.
>>242113
True, and it can be surprisingly easy if you are willing to go to uni or fake a medical condition. Though living in Russia is still depressing as hell.
True, and it can be surprisingly easy if you are willing to go to uni or fake a medical condition. Though living in Russia is still depressing as hell.
Just feeling sad and down no one wants to talk to me on voicecall it hurts my feelings. I apologized for bothering everyone in discord and asking I suck I hate having autism and no friends. No one understands what its like to lose a mother or be lonely it sucks.. I should be dead with my mom.
>>242360
Making art is almost impossible when struggling with mental health and depression in general because because you can't do anything constructive when your mind is tired
Making art is almost impossible when struggling with mental health and depression in general because because you can't do anything constructive when your mind is tired
>>242392
Part of the macho culture. Also plenty of countries still have drafts. America still has the draft from Vietnam, however you only need to sign up you don’t need to go through basic training or anything.
Part of the macho culture. Also plenty of countries still have drafts. America still has the draft from Vietnam, however you only need to sign up you don’t need to go through basic training or anything.
>>242397
Plenty? I don't think any first world countries have the draft anymore.
Finland does but that's only because of their proximity to a very hostile nation that has regularly attacked them through history.
Plenty? I don't think any first world countries have the draft anymore.
Finland does but that's only because of their proximity to a very hostile nation that has regularly attacked them through history.
>>242360
I had a similar revelation, even though I just a 24 year old wizkid.
As a teenager I told myself I would just kill myself before I turn 30, like that was my life plan because nobody ever told me about college, what it is and how to prepare. I just went to school because I didnt have a choice.
And ever since finnishing high school nothing has happened. On and of the NEET life, kicked out the Army (we have a draft), never went to Uni after signing up for something my parents wanted, went to a mental hospital for a few months, generally I was in and out the NEET life while struggling with mental illness.
Last year I went to Uni and I am about to fail the year and in the stress I kinda realized that I dont even a fuck, I made my decision as a teenager and ever since I have been a dead man walking.
I had a similar revelation, even though I just a 24 year old wizkid.
As a teenager I told myself I would just kill myself before I turn 30, like that was my life plan because nobody ever told me about college, what it is and how to prepare. I just went to school because I didnt have a choice.
And ever since finnishing high school nothing has happened. On and of the NEET life, kicked out the Army (we have a draft), never went to Uni after signing up for something my parents wanted, went to a mental hospital for a few months, generally I was in and out the NEET life while struggling with mental illness.
Last year I went to Uni and I am about to fail the year and in the stress I kinda realized that I dont even a fuck, I made my decision as a teenager and ever since I have been a dead man walking.
>>240479
I wish some doomer would LARP into biotech to develop and unleash an organism to give everyone Ultra Cancer and end this misery
I wish some doomer would LARP into biotech to develop and unleash an organism to give everyone Ultra Cancer and end this misery
>>242415
Same thing here. Told myself id kill myself before 18. Im 23 now and still "alive" as a NEET. I want to die.
Same thing here. Told myself id kill myself before 18. Im 23 now and still "alive" as a NEET. I want to die.
>>242517
Stick through it. My life was hell through 19-30 but I got inheritance at age 31 and life became heavenly as I was able to do anything I ever dreamed of.
Stick through it. My life was hell through 19-30 but I got inheritance at age 31 and life became heavenly as I was able to do anything I ever dreamed of.
File: 1624544793937.jpg (12.71 KB, 300x300, 1:1, shoko_asahara.jpg) ImgOps iqdb
>>242496
The Aum Shinrikyo (Supreme Truth) cult in Japan attempted to do that in 1995.
The leader, Shoko Asahara, declared humanity would end, except for the elite few who joined Aum. Aum's mission was not only to spread the word of salvation, but also to survive these End Times.
Asahara declared that Armageddon would occur in 1997.
He first launched a sarin gas attack on the Tokyo subway, which killed 14 people.
He ordered his cult members to produce botulinum and phosgene in order to overthrow the Japanese government.
Attempts to stockpile botulinum toxin proved unsuccessful. Seiichi Endo – one of the members tasked with acquiring botulinum toxin – collected soil samples from the Ishikari River, and attempted to produce the toxin using three 10,000-litre (2,600 US gal) capacity fermenters. In total, around 50 batches of 9,000 litres (2,400 US gal) of a crude broth were produced.
He also attempted to spread B. anthracis spores (Anthrax) with a crude hot air dryer throughout Tokyo. An attempt was made to spread this powder through the centre of Tokyo, but it didn't kill people for unknown reasons.
At it's peak of power, the group chartered aircraft from Perth to Banjawarn Station, where they searched for uranium deposits to make nuclear weapons.
Asahara was executed by hanging on July 6, 2018, at the Tokyo Detention House.
Though the leader is now dead, the group still has over 2,000 members left.
The Aum Shinrikyo (Supreme Truth) cult in Japan attempted to do that in 1995.
The leader, Shoko Asahara, declared humanity would end, except for the elite few who joined Aum. Aum's mission was not only to spread the word of salvation, but also to survive these End Times.
Asahara declared that Armageddon would occur in 1997.
He first launched a sarin gas attack on the Tokyo subway, which killed 14 people.
He ordered his cult members to produce botulinum and phosgene in order to overthrow the Japanese government.
Attempts to stockpile botulinum toxin proved unsuccessful. Seiichi Endo – one of the members tasked with acquiring botulinum toxin – collected soil samples from the Ishikari River, and attempted to produce the toxin using three 10,000-litre (2,600 US gal) capacity fermenters. In total, around 50 batches of 9,000 litres (2,400 US gal) of a crude broth were produced.
He also attempted to spread B. anthracis spores (Anthrax) with a crude hot air dryer throughout Tokyo. An attempt was made to spread this powder through the centre of Tokyo, but it didn't kill people for unknown reasons.
At it's peak of power, the group chartered aircraft from Perth to Banjawarn Station, where they searched for uranium deposits to make nuclear weapons.
Asahara was executed by hanging on July 6, 2018, at the Tokyo Detention House.
Though the leader is now dead, the group still has over 2,000 members left.
>>242524
(cont.)
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Banjawarn_Station
In April 1993 they purchased Banjawarn and built a facility there. It happened when Kiyohide Hayakawa, deputy leader of the Aum personally arrived in Western Australia in search for areas suitable for uranium mining. In his notes, he also praised the high quality of uranium ore.
Aum Shinrikyo used a front company headed by Yasuko Shimada, an Australian citizen of Japanese descent and a former member of Mahikari, to purchase Banjawarn.
The chairwoman for the Aboriginal community living near the sheep station, Phyllis Thomas,
said that she and other Aboriginal people saw about five people wearing full-length hazmat suits and helmets on the remote site in late August 1993.
The site also contained a number of sheep carcasses that showed signs of exposure to sarin. The soil in the area contained traces of methylphosphonic acid, a residue of sarin use.
The conclusion was that Banjawarn had been used as a test site for chemical weapons use.
On the night of 28 May 1993 a mysterious seismic disturbance was detected in Western Australia and found to have emanated from south of Banjawarn.
The explosion was 170 times more powerful than the largest mining explosion known in Australia up to that time.
The event was determined to have had the strength of "a small nuclear explosion, perhaps equal to up to 2,000 tons of high explosives".[6] It was known that Aum were interested in developing nuclear as well as chemical weapons, as they had recruited two nuclear engineers from the former Soviet Union and had been mining uranium at Banjawarn.
No known group or cult has come as close to manufacturing weapons of mass destruction and using it to wipe out life as Aum Shinrikyo.
(cont.)
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Banjawarn_Station
In April 1993 they purchased Banjawarn and built a facility there. It happened when Kiyohide Hayakawa, deputy leader of the Aum personally arrived in Western Australia in search for areas suitable for uranium mining. In his notes, he also praised the high quality of uranium ore.
Aum Shinrikyo used a front company headed by Yasuko Shimada, an Australian citizen of Japanese descent and a former member of Mahikari, to purchase Banjawarn.
The chairwoman for the Aboriginal community living near the sheep station, Phyllis Thomas,
said that she and other Aboriginal people saw about five people wearing full-length hazmat suits and helmets on the remote site in late August 1993.
The site also contained a number of sheep carcasses that showed signs of exposure to sarin. The soil in the area contained traces of methylphosphonic acid, a residue of sarin use.
The conclusion was that Banjawarn had been used as a test site for chemical weapons use.
On the night of 28 May 1993 a mysterious seismic disturbance was detected in Western Australia and found to have emanated from south of Banjawarn.
The explosion was 170 times more powerful than the largest mining explosion known in Australia up to that time.
The event was determined to have had the strength of "a small nuclear explosion, perhaps equal to up to 2,000 tons of high explosives".[6] It was known that Aum were interested in developing nuclear as well as chemical weapons, as they had recruited two nuclear engineers from the former Soviet Union and had been mining uranium at Banjawarn.
No known group or cult has come as close to manufacturing weapons of mass destruction and using it to wipe out life as Aum Shinrikyo.
>>242524
>Though the leader is now dead, the group still has over 2,000 members left.
Those types of people are the backbone religion. Leader is dead, all the profecies turned out to be wrong or have completely incorrect dates to them and yet those people won't let it go.
It's like with christianity where Jesus said he was going to come back before his generation came to pass, didn't, then the world was going to end, didn't.. and people still don't let it go. I wish I had that immersion into something other than boredom.ohwell
>Though the leader is now dead, the group still has over 2,000 members left.
Those types of people are the backbone religion. Leader is dead, all the profecies turned out to be wrong or have completely incorrect dates to them and yet those people won't let it go.
It's like with christianity where Jesus said he was going to come back before his generation came to pass, didn't, then the world was going to end, didn't.. and people still don't let it go. I wish I had that immersion into something other than boredom.ohwell
>>242531
Touch grass bro. Theres so much to get immersed into . Go and vote and make sure our side wins . White pride wordwide.
Touch grass bro. Theres so much to get immersed into . Go and vote and make sure our side wins . White pride wordwide.
>>242529
Warlock is an understatement. Asahara was like the grand archmage. He made actual strides towards producing nuclear weapons just to eradicate life.
His group even made a successful nuclear bomb test in Australia on a remote farm they bought. They also managed to recruit unemployed russian nuclear engineers after the fall of the Soviet Union.
Warlock is an understatement. Asahara was like the grand archmage. He made actual strides towards producing nuclear weapons just to eradicate life.
His group even made a successful nuclear bomb test in Australia on a remote farm they bought. They also managed to recruit unemployed russian nuclear engineers after the fall of the Soviet Union.
love these threads and /dep/ in general but realize i need to stay productive to be happy so i just try my best.. sometimes just maintaining my sanity takes so much out of me
>>242620
>The only time my phone ever rings is when the hospital calls me (once a day) about owing them money for my suicide attempt.
This planet is hell.
>The only time my phone ever rings is when the hospital calls me (once a day) about owing them money for my suicide attempt.
This planet is hell.
File: 1624723996514.jpg (123.16 KB, 700x525, 4:3, 1574589742174.jpg) ImgOps iqdb
I am experiencing what you may call information overload. My brain is completely fried and it's only getting worse every day. I don't know what to say or to think. It's like I'm just a copy of all the media I've consumed all my life. I don't even know who I am anymore. I think I never had a single creative thought in my entire life.
>>242653
But you indeed are the product of the information you have consumed during your life. What happens to babies that grow isolated from information? Do they spontaneously develop into something new? No! They die! You are nothing more than a living echo. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Language_deprivation_experiments
But you indeed are the product of the information you have consumed during your life. What happens to babies that grow isolated from information? Do they spontaneously develop into something new? No! They die! You are nothing more than a living echo. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Language_deprivation_experiments
>>242654
> After 30 days, the "total isolate" rhesus monkeys, as they were called, were found to be "enormously disturbed".
>After being isolated for a year, they barely moved, did not explore or play, and were incapable of having sexual relations. When placed with other monkeys for a daily play session, they were badly bullied. Two of them refused to eat and starved themselves to death.[7]
So it is torture, after all. It destroys the psyche.
> After 30 days, the "total isolate" rhesus monkeys, as they were called, were found to be "enormously disturbed".
>After being isolated for a year, they barely moved, did not explore or play, and were incapable of having sexual relations. When placed with other monkeys for a daily play session, they were badly bullied. Two of them refused to eat and starved themselves to death.[7]
So it is torture, after all. It destroys the psyche.
I got forced into some government work training for autistic people recently. I can't stand seeing this nigger infested shithole city everyday.
I didn't tell the (female) psychologist anything they can suck my dick
I didn't tell the (female) psychologist anything they can suck my dick
Is it a bad idea for legal reasons to hit up a childhood friend on FB and ask if he knows anyone that sells substances? I don't have his number.
>>242719
If you want evidence of illegal activity linked to your name in the most public place possible, that can never be deleted, go ahead.
(at least ask them to use a different communication platform like Signal)
If you want evidence of illegal activity linked to your name in the most public place possible, that can never be deleted, go ahead.
(at least ask them to use a different communication platform like Signal)
File: 1624913436402.jpg (1.45 MB, 2786x3569, 2786:3569, sqte4cff8qu01.jpg) ImgOps iqdb
I have stopped having hopes or expectations for everything. Everything. The present feels as ephemeral and intangible as the past does; just as one cannot touch the past, I can't really interact with the "now" anymore than with a hologram. My house, the house that I've lived in for 15 years, could be demolished tomorrow and I feel I'd only be vaguely put off. There's no point in writing anything longer than 2 sentences – I never read them, myself. That cat still feels like screaming, so it at least has that going for it.
It's hardly an original or stimulating thought, but while lying in bed I happened upon an interesting (to me) situation: a person can be "die" and still walk the earth. Pandora found hope underneath all the ills of the world, and I guess that may be implicating that hope is the most insidious and least recognized of all evils – give a man with no prospects, or future, or humanity hope, and he will stay his wretched course despite all that befalls him.
I am a liar; you can tell someone is a liar if they bloviate like this. Or, your common sense should rankle under the many vague and indefinite words being thrown at you, and you'll soon come to the conclusion that nothing is really being said. In a way, this might be the only method I have to convey what depression feels like (personally). Boredom: nothing happens, nothing is always happening, nothing significant is said or done, and you'd feel angry at having your time wasted if there were anything to exact your displeasure on. In any case, never fall for a swindler; I still have my expectations. Some (irrational) part of me wants catharsis (or at least recompense) for writing this out, and another (the more sensible) part of me expects things will get worse before they get better, and yet another part of me hopes I will still get to connect with my fellow human beings. Hope really is terrible. I want to stop caring about what happens. Nor should you care, either. You weren't enriched by reading this; nothing wise or valuable was imparted to you, and your time and effort has gone up in smoke reading what amounts to legible graffiti.
I do hope something happens, though. A lingering spirit may be removed from the causal chain of events which shape material reality, but it's not as if he can't speak to the living, as I do. Speak, and speak, and speak…it never ends.
It's hardly an original or stimulating thought, but while lying in bed I happened upon an interesting (to me) situation: a person can be "die" and still walk the earth. Pandora found hope underneath all the ills of the world, and I guess that may be implicating that hope is the most insidious and least recognized of all evils – give a man with no prospects, or future, or humanity hope, and he will stay his wretched course despite all that befalls him.
I am a liar; you can tell someone is a liar if they bloviate like this. Or, your common sense should rankle under the many vague and indefinite words being thrown at you, and you'll soon come to the conclusion that nothing is really being said. In a way, this might be the only method I have to convey what depression feels like (personally). Boredom: nothing happens, nothing is always happening, nothing significant is said or done, and you'd feel angry at having your time wasted if there were anything to exact your displeasure on. In any case, never fall for a swindler; I still have my expectations. Some (irrational) part of me wants catharsis (or at least recompense) for writing this out, and another (the more sensible) part of me expects things will get worse before they get better, and yet another part of me hopes I will still get to connect with my fellow human beings. Hope really is terrible. I want to stop caring about what happens. Nor should you care, either. You weren't enriched by reading this; nothing wise or valuable was imparted to you, and your time and effort has gone up in smoke reading what amounts to legible graffiti.
I do hope something happens, though. A lingering spirit may be removed from the causal chain of events which shape material reality, but it's not as if he can't speak to the living, as I do. Speak, and speak, and speak…it never ends.
Worse part of my day is right when I wake up. It's like I get punched in the face as soon as I open my eyes. I want to kill myself so badly. I don't know for how much longer I can put up with this.
File: 1624967114945.jpg (26.03 KB, 408x408, 1:1, 1624948449303.jpg) ImgOps iqdb
I have autism and was treated like shit all my life for behaving in eccentric ways I can't control. It's funny seeing all my bullies become "mental health awareness" advocates, fucking hypocritical faggots. They just care about their (most likely self diagnosed) depression or anxiety.
As soon as one of us eccentric autists behaves in unusual ways, you mental health advocates become the biggest bullies. Why the biggest bullies? Even the conservative Ben Shapiro types leave me alone. You're just a bunch of hypocritical faggots. I see through it because I'm on the receiving end. You have absolutely no tolerance for actual eccentricity, all their pity goes towards benign anxiety or depression. The actual chronic diseases, even chronic problems like bad depression, become uncared for. They only care about minor depression because they themselves have (self inflicted) minor depression and anxiety.
I can't take mental health advocates seriously when all the mental health advocates I see on social media from my personal life, were my bullies. Fuck you, fuck you all. It's hypocritical posturing. You don't care for actual eccentricity. Just the ailments you personally suffer from.
As soon as one of us eccentric autists behaves in unusual ways, you mental health advocates become the biggest bullies. Why the biggest bullies? Even the conservative Ben Shapiro types leave me alone. You're just a bunch of hypocritical faggots. I see through it because I'm on the receiving end. You have absolutely no tolerance for actual eccentricity, all their pity goes towards benign anxiety or depression. The actual chronic diseases, even chronic problems like bad depression, become uncared for. They only care about minor depression because they themselves have (self inflicted) minor depression and anxiety.
I can't take mental health advocates seriously when all the mental health advocates I see on social media from my personal life, were my bullies. Fuck you, fuck you all. It's hypocritical posturing. You don't care for actual eccentricity. Just the ailments you personally suffer from.
my psychiatrist has recently been really "concerned" about me, and having long private talks with my mom, I dont know what they are talking about but it makes me feel powerless and due to circumstances I have no choice in taking the meds they give me, it seems like everyone is so quick to say that I am crazy than to listen to what I am trying to say
>>242868
Point in case is that people only care about someone's mental well-being under the premise that they like them. So as soon as your mental health extends to your personality and behavior in a way that repels people they stop caring about how you feel. An otherwise nice and friendly depressed dude or a (female) person whose anxiety comes off as a cute and harmless shyness, will receive sympathy and help. But once your behavior reflects a personality which people don't understand and find disgusting or aggressive and so on then it does not matter how much you suffer. It also does not matter that in fact this behavior is a direct result of a real mental illness and that the afflicted person acts against his own will the way he does because their illness controls them even despite their own reflection and thinking on a biological, immediate level.
All this is why the idea of neurodiversity is such a joke. It all comes down to a scale of appreciation of a person's behavior and their whole 'presence' or aura. Positive or negative appreciation is not a conscious decision, it happens prereflectively just by sensing another person. So you can be extremely mentally ill to a point where you cannot leave your bed and still people might appreciate you for reasons neither you or them will understand. But you can also suffer immensely while trying to do your best and work hard yet people will hate you for the same unspoken reasons.
Point in case is that people only care about someone's mental well-being under the premise that they like them. So as soon as your mental health extends to your personality and behavior in a way that repels people they stop caring about how you feel. An otherwise nice and friendly depressed dude or a (female) person whose anxiety comes off as a cute and harmless shyness, will receive sympathy and help. But once your behavior reflects a personality which people don't understand and find disgusting or aggressive and so on then it does not matter how much you suffer. It also does not matter that in fact this behavior is a direct result of a real mental illness and that the afflicted person acts against his own will the way he does because their illness controls them even despite their own reflection and thinking on a biological, immediate level.
All this is why the idea of neurodiversity is such a joke. It all comes down to a scale of appreciation of a person's behavior and their whole 'presence' or aura. Positive or negative appreciation is not a conscious decision, it happens prereflectively just by sensing another person. So you can be extremely mentally ill to a point where you cannot leave your bed and still people might appreciate you for reasons neither you or them will understand. But you can also suffer immensely while trying to do your best and work hard yet people will hate you for the same unspoken reasons.
>>242868
>>242872
Probably doesn't make any difference for you, but I only have eccentric friends, both men and succubi.
Some are neurologically different, some just dress funny, some have really weird hobbies, I like all of them.
At this point I can't even imagine how socializing with a "normie" would feel like.
>But once your behavior reflects a personality which people don't understand and find disgusting or aggressive and so on then it does not matter how much you suffer.
Yeah, that's not me. I've had friends go on meltdowns or just break down crying.
My initial reaction is not to hate them but to comfort them and understand why they are feeling what they currently feel, based on their past, their current ailments and their life arc.
But yes, the average "normie" is so pea brained they will instantly abandon and demonize such a person.
>>242872
Probably doesn't make any difference for you, but I only have eccentric friends, both men and succubi.
Some are neurologically different, some just dress funny, some have really weird hobbies, I like all of them.
At this point I can't even imagine how socializing with a "normie" would feel like.
>But once your behavior reflects a personality which people don't understand and find disgusting or aggressive and so on then it does not matter how much you suffer.
Yeah, that's not me. I've had friends go on meltdowns or just break down crying.
My initial reaction is not to hate them but to comfort them and understand why they are feeling what they currently feel, based on their past, their current ailments and their life arc.
But yes, the average "normie" is so pea brained they will instantly abandon and demonize such a person.
>>242868
The problem is that autism is a developmental disorder. Normgroids can easily sympathize with depressed, anxious or otherwise normal people, but to sympathize with someone who is fundamentally screwed up is… not really possible. Don't expect other people to give two shits about your autism is all I'm saying. This is coming from a fellow autist.
The problem is that autism is a developmental disorder. Normgroids can easily sympathize with depressed, anxious or otherwise normal people, but to sympathize with someone who is fundamentally screwed up is… not really possible. Don't expect other people to give two shits about your autism is all I'm saying. This is coming from a fellow autist.
>>242877
I'm slightly non-neurotypical (maybe 10%) but I fully understand the autistic brain, how it behaves and what behaviors it leads to.
Therefore I have no problems being friends with an autistic person. I don't even care if they avoid eye contact. The only thing that matters is them as a person.
I'm slightly non-neurotypical (maybe 10%) but I fully understand the autistic brain, how it behaves and what behaviors it leads to.
Therefore I have no problems being friends with an autistic person. I don't even care if they avoid eye contact. The only thing that matters is them as a person.
>>242885
It's not a hikikomori board. You are allowed to have online friends or even talk to people at work.
Not everyone lives in a luxurious first world country that gives you money just for existing.
It's not a hikikomori board. You are allowed to have online friends or even talk to people at work.
Not everyone lives in a luxurious first world country that gives you money just for existing.
>>242876
>>242881
>>242887
>Not everyone lives in a luxurious first world country that gives you money just for existing.
What does that have to do with you talking about loving your friends, whom you 'comfort and understand'? This board is about personal depression, and you come off as a tourist who doesn't make the slightest effort to fit in.
>>242881
>>242887
>Not everyone lives in a luxurious first world country that gives you money just for existing.
What does that have to do with you talking about loving your friends, whom you 'comfort and understand'? This board is about personal depression, and you come off as a tourist who doesn't make the slightest effort to fit in.
>>242889
If you have to go to work, you have to meet people.
And some of those people are wizards or just very neuro-atypical. Especially in min wage jobs.
If you have to go to work, you have to meet people.
And some of those people are wizards or just very neuro-atypical. Especially in min wage jobs.
>>242891
Just by the fact you can go to work and talk to people to the point you consider them friends it's safe to say you don't belong here. You or them being quirky normies doesn't really change anything.
Just by the fact you can go to work and talk to people to the point you consider them friends it's safe to say you don't belong here. You or them being quirky normies doesn't really change anything.
File: 1624999366575.jpg (122.85 KB, 338x456, 169:228, 1624961721954.jpg) ImgOps iqdb
>>242877
>>242876
I made this same post on 4chan /r9k/ and the expected happened.
https://boards.4chan.org/r9k/thread/64361272#p64368743
I don't know if crossposting is against the rules, but take a look at this disgusting thread. Normoids are animals.
>>242876
I made this same post on 4chan /r9k/ and the expected happened.
https://boards.4chan.org/r9k/thread/64361272#p64368743
I don't know if crossposting is against the rules, but take a look at this disgusting thread. Normoids are animals.
>>242950
I don't even know at this point whether the homeless meme is just a meme or deadly serious wizards being deadly serious.
That's not a good alternative or option.
It's 1000x safer and better for your body and mind to be forced to socialize with a couple people at work, compared to living under a bridge or in a shelter with very unstable people.
Don't fall for the "homelessness is freedom" meme. The only rational reason to be homeless is because you were temporarily forced to due to a lack of money.
I don't even know at this point whether the homeless meme is just a meme or deadly serious wizards being deadly serious.
That's not a good alternative or option.
It's 1000x safer and better for your body and mind to be forced to socialize with a couple people at work, compared to living under a bridge or in a shelter with very unstable people.
Don't fall for the "homelessness is freedom" meme. The only rational reason to be homeless is because you were temporarily forced to due to a lack of money.
>>242949
You talked about having friends youvmoron. Only a normal would become friends with their colleagues. Drop the violin your "woe is me i have to work cuz im not as lucky as you are :(((" shit is completely missing the point
You talked about having friends youvmoron. Only a normal would become friends with their colleagues. Drop the violin your "woe is me i have to work cuz im not as lucky as you are :(((" shit is completely missing the point
>>242951
I think if I was homeless I'd bus myself to a small town filled with boomers and just get help from the local church. But if you're functional at the point where you can do that hustle, you won't end up homeless long term anyway.
Most of the shitiness from homelessness comes from the inherent vulnerability that comes with being mentally ill. In my current state I'm healthy enough to scale buildings to find a safe place to sleep (downtown there's lots of safe grooves on rooves you can easily sleep in, comfortable too). I can work out where the free services are and I can leverage social welfare/bus to a safe place to get a decent place to stay. If you're somewhat neurotypical you're not going to be homeless for long.
An unpopular opinion on wizchan, but some eccentric types that are somewhat functioning DO prefer homelessness. They do enjoy it.
I think if I was homeless I'd bus myself to a small town filled with boomers and just get help from the local church. But if you're functional at the point where you can do that hustle, you won't end up homeless long term anyway.
Most of the shitiness from homelessness comes from the inherent vulnerability that comes with being mentally ill. In my current state I'm healthy enough to scale buildings to find a safe place to sleep (downtown there's lots of safe grooves on rooves you can easily sleep in, comfortable too). I can work out where the free services are and I can leverage social welfare/bus to a safe place to get a decent place to stay. If you're somewhat neurotypical you're not going to be homeless for long.
An unpopular opinion on wizchan, but some eccentric types that are somewhat functioning DO prefer homelessness. They do enjoy it.
>>242951
Ppl who talk about homelessness as if it's freedom don't know a lot about streets in general, they talk out of their ass but never remotely been close to any of these scenarios.
Living on the streets is rough, you can't just sleep anywhere and in winter you are forced to go to a shitty overcrowded shelter filled with other ppl who are fucked up and on drugs/drunk. You have to avoid other homeless ppl because they will most likely spot the weakness in you and try to fuck you over in some way and generally ppl will avoid you or even look at you in disgust because some homeless ppl are rather obnoxious and disgusting.
You'll have to beg for money like an asshole and annoy ppl or you will have to steal food or get the little food they give you at a shelter after waiting in line with a bunch of mentally ill bums.
You can't take a shower when you want to and you don't have any other comfort, it sucks and that's it. We are on a imageboard discussing things and some ppl on here seriously romanticize being homeless, they should try to stay off the internet for a while and spend most of their day outside to look into the face of reality.
Ppl who talk about homelessness as if it's freedom don't know a lot about streets in general, they talk out of their ass but never remotely been close to any of these scenarios.
Living on the streets is rough, you can't just sleep anywhere and in winter you are forced to go to a shitty overcrowded shelter filled with other ppl who are fucked up and on drugs/drunk. You have to avoid other homeless ppl because they will most likely spot the weakness in you and try to fuck you over in some way and generally ppl will avoid you or even look at you in disgust because some homeless ppl are rather obnoxious and disgusting.
You'll have to beg for money like an asshole and annoy ppl or you will have to steal food or get the little food they give you at a shelter after waiting in line with a bunch of mentally ill bums.
You can't take a shower when you want to and you don't have any other comfort, it sucks and that's it. We are on a imageboard discussing things and some ppl on here seriously romanticize being homeless, they should try to stay off the internet for a while and spend most of their day outside to look into the face of reality.
>>242954
I don't have any friends. But I could see how someone befriending the people they've spent the last 13 years doing some crappy menial job with could happen, even if they're a wizard.
You make it sound like wizards aren't human at all which in turn makes you sound like an asshat.
I don't have any friends. But I could see how someone befriending the people they've spent the last 13 years doing some crappy menial job with could happen, even if they're a wizard.
You make it sound like wizards aren't human at all which in turn makes you sound like an asshat.
>>242972
What do you mean? I have been here for an unholy number of years.
I have no job, no friends, I'm disabled, I practically wouldn't be alive without my parents goodwill and cash deposits.
What do you mean? I have been here for an unholy number of years.
I have no job, no friends, I'm disabled, I practically wouldn't be alive without my parents goodwill and cash deposits.
My doctor increased the dosage of my medication and it has been effecting my sleep, not like I cant fall asleep but no matter how much I sleep it doesnt feel like enough. I told him this and he refused to believe me, "I've never heard of this symptom with any of my patients", then he goes on to suggest a bunch of things that might be the problem other than the medication, I tell him I am a NEET and nothing has changed at all except the dosage of my medication, and he still is adamant about the problem not being the medication. I didn't wanna get aggressive or anything but along with my exhaustion and the absurdity of what he was trying to sell me it was getting on my nerves and I could hear a bit of attitude pick up in my voice. Then he goes and talks to my mom in private. He finally settled on "keep taking it and your side effects will go away", really wish I could have gotten some sleeping pills at least.
>>242986
doctors are arrogant retards
quit taking jewpills and only go to a doctor if you've lost a limb.
doctors are arrogant retards
quit taking jewpills and only go to a doctor if you've lost a limb.
>>242955
Being homeless is never a choice. Even the vagabonds and forest dwellers are forced to live on the road or outside because they can't fit in with normal society. The ones who say they like being homeless are so far gone that they are basically coping at that point. I'm pretty sure nobody actually enjoys being without a permanent shelter.
Being homeless is never a choice. Even the vagabonds and forest dwellers are forced to live on the road or outside because they can't fit in with normal society. The ones who say they like being homeless are so far gone that they are basically coping at that point. I'm pretty sure nobody actually enjoys being without a permanent shelter.
>>242986
I have this problem and I don't take any medication, there's a small chance he's right. No matter how much I sleep, I'm always tired and sleepy, of course if I don't sleep at all its much worse (specially for me, because I get insanely anxious if I can't/don't sleep) but still
I have this problem and I don't take any medication, there's a small chance he's right. No matter how much I sleep, I'm always tired and sleepy, of course if I don't sleep at all its much worse (specially for me, because I get insanely anxious if I can't/don't sleep) but still
my mom is forcing me to take valium every day, I feel so tired and lazy and I do/say stuff thats sorta out of character for my usual reserved self, also I have mind blanks often and make careless mistakes, it helps with the anxiety but I dont like how zoned out I feel
>learning japanese
>nightmares start again
fuck, I can't do anything that is mentally stressing, everything that I try to do causes me nightmares if it requires too much thought or study
>nightmares start again
fuck, I can't do anything that is mentally stressing, everything that I try to do causes me nightmares if it requires too much thought or study
My mom used my fucking bank account to hide money from her stupid debt collectors and now I can't even use my bank account anymore. Say anything and my mom says she'll call the police and report me and then kick me out
I LOVE BEING ALIVE!!!
I LOVE BEING ALIVE!!!
>>243137
That's terrible WTF. You're going to get really messed up taking it everyday. It isnt like an SSRI, it is better to just take it when necessary like when you have a bad day or need to do something stressful
That's terrible WTF. You're going to get really messed up taking it everyday. It isnt like an SSRI, it is better to just take it when necessary like when you have a bad day or need to do something stressful
>>243329
Go to the police… It's better to be homeless or dead than live with someone like that
Go to the police… It's better to be homeless or dead than live with someone like that
>>243329
It's your account, take the money and run, she's the one who is in danger of being reported and going to jail. She's just projecting that shit onto you.
It's your account, take the money and run, she's the one who is in danger of being reported and going to jail. She's just projecting that shit onto you.
>>243338
Don't fall for that stupid homeless meme.
If you think life is bad now, it will be 10,000x worse homeless.
Do everything you can to get at least a 1 room apartment. Even apply for McDonald's if you have to.
Don't fall for that stupid homeless meme.
If you think life is bad now, it will be 10,000x worse homeless.
Do everything you can to get at least a 1 room apartment. Even apply for McDonald's if you have to.
>>243338
It depends on the country. Probably in your case - someone legitimately being fucking deeply abused - there would be some support system to help you significantly
It depends on the country. Probably in your case - someone legitimately being fucking deeply abused - there would be some support system to help you significantly
File: 1625981368825.jpg (13.14 MB, 4045x5205, 809:1041, Death_of_Marat_by_David.jpg) ImgOps iqdb
Decided to actually try living for once, it had been going better than expected for a few months. I even made plans to get a job for the first time. Two weeks ago I realized I have major numb spots throughout my body mostly on the legs, feet, and back, and also leg weakness and pain. My symptoms also seem to be progressing very quickly(with new spots on my legs).
Before this I knew I had numbness on my upper back for over a year and cardiovascular disturbances for longer. Not sure what it could be but I'm in my early 20s and underweight.
I almost thought I had a chance to function at least independently and now I'll probably be severely disabled or dead in a few years regardless.
Before this I knew I had numbness on my upper back for over a year and cardiovascular disturbances for longer. Not sure what it could be but I'm in my early 20s and underweight.
I almost thought I had a chance to function at least independently and now I'll probably be severely disabled or dead in a few years regardless.
I started a semi-online college in 2019 where most things are online but the tests are presential. Then the pandemic started in 2020 and they couldn't do the tests presential anymore, and instead you just had to answer some questions online. Since then I started cheating to pass the tests for the past year and a half. Now there's talks of reopening colleges again and I'm fucked. I have 1 month to study what I should have studied for the past year and a half. There's not enough time. When my parents find out I'm dead.
File: 1626112572242.gif (1.85 MB, 500x395, 100:79, 1620767963172.gif) ImgOps iqdb
I've been looking at seiyuus (anime voice actors) on MyAnimeList. A lot of them started their careers at 18, 20. Feels weird. Hardly adults and yet they're going places. Weird. There are kids out there who have accomplished more than I could ever hope to. At their age I was, I don't know, jerking myself raw and sleeping in all day. I don't know.
I'm beginning to feel like I have been downgraded to the free version of reality whereas before I was playing the premium edition. It's like in World of Warcraft where you get to experience the first twenty levels of the game for free and then after that you have to pay. I got to level 25 and the game just ended at that point. It's been purgatory for the past five years, prison for the past year. I can't roll a new toon either. Except it's worse than that. Now I'm stuck in the starting area. 90% of my time is spent in my childhood room. I'm not able to travel more than a few blocks from my house because I no longer have a car, the bus doesn't run through here and my mom thinks it's too dangerous to ride a bike. I feel like they downgraded my AI level as well. I used to be able to focus for long hours on programming projects but now I am stuck doing basic 85-IQ normgroid shit as if I no longer have the free will to do anything else. The people running the simulation decided to quit wasting resources on me and turned me down to the minimum settings. I'm waiting until they pull the plug.
>>240479
My life is depressing I’m 43 permma neet on disability for life with numerous disabilities. Friend from high school who still messages me likely out of pity is married with grown kids who have jobs. I am the biggest genetic failure. I’ve done fuck all with my life. I can’t suicide I’m too afraid I pray I die young. I don’t know how much longer I can take it.
My life is depressing I’m 43 permma neet on disability for life with numerous disabilities. Friend from high school who still messages me likely out of pity is married with grown kids who have jobs. I am the biggest genetic failure. I’ve done fuck all with my life. I can’t suicide I’m too afraid I pray I die young. I don’t know how much longer I can take it.
[Last 50 Posts]