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I'm wondering, were any of you ever happy? From my time lurking here it seems like everyone has always been miserable
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mostly remaining neutral was my top priority although it eventually leads you nowhere and you are kind of stuck in one place
As a child until I was 10, though I already experienced billying I still had friends and childish innonce. From the age of 14 onward I’ve always been depressed
>>241101
Yes, I beleive everyone has been happy at one point. Be it as a baby or young child. I have some very fond memories of going to a park with my family after finishing school and then it was summer break. I had just opened the letter and seen great grades, the sun was shining, I had not a worry in the world. Not a single thing to taint my happiness. It was just a pure feeling. I must have been 12 or 13 the last time I were truly happy. After that a decade of slow decline.
My grades would later fall as I grew older, not that I didn't try my best. School stressed me out, I felt like a massive dissapointment to my parents. Now I'm working a dead end job waiting for the weekend so I can sleep. I think a lot of people here have similar stories
Yes, I beleive everyone has been happy at one point. Be it as a baby or young child. I have some very fond memories of going to a park with my family after finishing school and then it was summer break. I had just opened the letter and seen great grades, the sun was shining, I had not a worry in the world. Not a single thing to taint my happiness. It was just a pure feeling. I must have been 12 or 13 the last time I were truly happy. After that a decade of slow decline.
My grades would later fall as I grew older, not that I didn't try my best. School stressed me out, I felt like a massive dissapointment to my parents. Now I'm working a dead end job waiting for the weekend so I can sleep. I think a lot of people here have similar stories
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Maybe.
Yes, my childhood was pretty chill and all, but I always felt dissociated from this world, as if I couldn't feel as other human beings would. It didn't make me feel horrible or anything, it just made me feel kind of numb. Still, my childhood was the best period of my life, of course, no worries, all that innocence… But somewhere in my thirteenth year things started to go down at a rapid pace. I started to realize how cruel and desolating my reality was.
Don't think I even have words to describe how agonizing my life is currently, and the fact that it will probably get worse…. Honestly, I'm tired
Yes, my childhood was pretty chill and all, but I always felt dissociated from this world, as if I couldn't feel as other human beings would. It didn't make me feel horrible or anything, it just made me feel kind of numb. Still, my childhood was the best period of my life, of course, no worries, all that innocence… But somewhere in my thirteenth year things started to go down at a rapid pace. I started to realize how cruel and desolating my reality was.
Don't think I even have words to describe how agonizing my life is currently, and the fact that it will probably get worse…. Honestly, I'm tired
Yes I was pretty happy up until my 20s even though my home life growing up could be pretty brutal at times. I remember being quite content during my teen years when I had a high speed internet connection/xbox live/tons of internet stuff to explore even though by normalfag standards they would have probably appeared Hellish.
I think a lot of it was low expectations. A poor kid can do a lot with a little.
I think a lot of it was low expectations. A poor kid can do a lot with a little.
Not even happy as a child that was when I first got diagnosed with problems as well. I was happy one christmas when I got a gameboy and pokemon gold though and started playing that.
Life is miserable I never relate to people who had nostalgia for being young it was always awful
Life is miserable I never relate to people who had nostalgia for being young it was always awful
i just played video games and stayed inside because it made me happy and i hated being around people in general, i really hit the wall in my teens when imageboards and videos games didnt help anymore
Not really, even at 3 I hated this society because I hated going to preschool instead of playing around in my backyard. This society is a prison.
i was a child because i didn't have to get a career. having to work/career ruined my life i'm not social and i'm a nihilistic minimalist so i don't want to work at all.
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my childhood was so shitty I am actually happy now just living away, maybe visiting this site makes miserable
Ever since I was a kid, maybe 8 or 9, I just knew that I was screwed when I turned 18, and indeed I was. I am actually less unhappy now at 25 years old than when I was a kid/teen, but now it's more like I am extremely scared about my future, parents will probably die when I'm around my 50s and if I havent been able to massively change myself by then then I am fucked. My forecasting of how my future will play out has been pretty spot on my entire life so I believe I will be screwed in the future
>>241101
I was happy, or at least stupid enough, and thought I was semi-normal just introverted up until I graduated college.
Now I realize how fucking strange I am and it feels terrible.
I was happy, or at least stupid enough, and thought I was semi-normal just introverted up until I graduated college.
Now I realize how fucking strange I am and it feels terrible.
>>241101
My entire life has been a constant stream of having brief moments of joy, followed by a sudden shutdown, back into feeling like shit. As a child I was bullied by both my dad and my peers whenever I was happy. As a kid, whenever I laughed or had a rush of joy, I would "happy flap" my arms and tap my feet. I was met with criticism and stares, because no one knew why I did this. I didn't even know why I did that either before I looked it up and found out it's called "stimming"
My entire life has been a constant stream of having brief moments of joy, followed by a sudden shutdown, back into feeling like shit. As a child I was bullied by both my dad and my peers whenever I was happy. As a kid, whenever I laughed or had a rush of joy, I would "happy flap" my arms and tap my feet. I was met with criticism and stares, because no one knew why I did this. I didn't even know why I did that either before I looked it up and found out it's called "stimming"
>>241108
>>241107
I remember asking my mother myself why we couldn't commit suicide to get to heaven now with how boring and awful and bad life was. I was like 5 years old and now 32. Substance abuse 'saved' my type but then also damns it to health issues, then there's my being a neet with no money this entire time so it has to be mead off and on that I make and over eating while lazy…..
So no, I've never been happy for a long period myself.
>>241101
Off and on but never happy for very long.
>>241107
I remember asking my mother myself why we couldn't commit suicide to get to heaven now with how boring and awful and bad life was. I was like 5 years old and now 32. Substance abuse 'saved' my type but then also damns it to health issues, then there's my being a neet with no money this entire time so it has to be mead off and on that I make and over eating while lazy…..
So no, I've never been happy for a long period myself.
>>241101
Off and on but never happy for very long.
>>241164
Does one have to be autistic to do this? I'm an adult and I still catch myself flapping when I'm excited.
Does one have to be autistic to do this? I'm an adult and I still catch myself flapping when I'm excited.
>>241164
Yes, I am diagnosed with aspergers. But people weren't as educated on it or its symptoms back in the day.
Yes, I am diagnosed with aspergers. But people weren't as educated on it or its symptoms back in the day.
>>241101
Yea I was happy up until I was 23. Then everything just started stagnating and it’s slowly been declining every 2 year or so. I’m 30 now. The past 5 years have all been the same. Just wasting time on the internet and going for walks. Nothing else. I quit smoking in March so I guess that’s nice. Haven’t smoked since then
Yea I was happy up until I was 23. Then everything just started stagnating and it’s slowly been declining every 2 year or so. I’m 30 now. The past 5 years have all been the same. Just wasting time on the internet and going for walks. Nothing else. I quit smoking in March so I guess that’s nice. Haven’t smoked since then
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>>241101
>I'm wondering, were any of you ever happy?
Yes, a bit of context my family wasn't wealthy, but I and mom were the "servants" cause my mom borrowed money from gramps to pay for my education, ADHD, hyperactive, made it hard for me to learn in public schools so my mom chooses to acquire this system were she works for gramps, get paid a misery and do the chores around the house for me, in exchange for gramps paying for private school and meds. it was horrible seeing my mom get humiliated, and crying.
But in HS my dad was put in jail and because of that he was forced to pay for my education, so mom no longer had to deal with abusive family:
>peace of mind thanks to mom not being abused anymore (or not that much)
>Cool school were turned out I was pretty smart for math
>Most of my class mates were white (3rd world country, 1.60, 52kg)
>Got an old MP3 walkman that was my most prized possession
>Got my first laptop
>Discover that I'm gay
>Every day would be: wake up take a short bus ride while listening to my music, school, where I was relatively liked by classmates even though I didn't talk that much, and homework/exams were easy so that boosted my confidence, on the way back, same music then, spend the rest of the day on my laptop or playing the brand new Dark Souls
Rinse and repeat for 3 years, those were good times.
>I'm wondering, were any of you ever happy?
Yes, a bit of context my family wasn't wealthy, but I and mom were the "servants" cause my mom borrowed money from gramps to pay for my education, ADHD, hyperactive, made it hard for me to learn in public schools so my mom chooses to acquire this system were she works for gramps, get paid a misery and do the chores around the house for me, in exchange for gramps paying for private school and meds. it was horrible seeing my mom get humiliated, and crying.
But in HS my dad was put in jail and because of that he was forced to pay for my education, so mom no longer had to deal with abusive family:
>peace of mind thanks to mom not being abused anymore (or not that much)
>Cool school were turned out I was pretty smart for math
>Most of my class mates were white (3rd world country, 1.60, 52kg)
>Got an old MP3 walkman that was my most prized possession
>Got my first laptop
>Discover that I'm gay
>Every day would be: wake up take a short bus ride while listening to my music, school, where I was relatively liked by classmates even though I didn't talk that much, and homework/exams were easy so that boosted my confidence, on the way back, same music then, spend the rest of the day on my laptop or playing the brand new Dark Souls
Rinse and repeat for 3 years, those were good times.
>>241194
Because robots and wizards never knew where to draw the proper lines in the sand to keep certain types out. You can be completely and totally normal but if you didn't have sex then tada! You get to shitpost all over wizchan just because you are a normalfaggot with anxiety that has not came out yet. Also gondolas for some reason trick autistics into thinking that someone is okay. Find me someone banned that uses gondola on literally any IB.It's a obey the rules to fit into the culture sort of thing. There will never be enough rules because people that make them are afraid to leave no wiggle room, of which in itself suggests something that asspains me.
Not him of course and are being sardonic.
>>241101
When I first started using emulators and eating however much I wanted upon adulthood I was pretty happy.
Because robots and wizards never knew where to draw the proper lines in the sand to keep certain types out. You can be completely and totally normal but if you didn't have sex then tada! You get to shitpost all over wizchan just because you are a normalfaggot with anxiety that has not came out yet. Also gondolas for some reason trick autistics into thinking that someone is okay. Find me someone banned that uses gondola on literally any IB.It's a obey the rules to fit into the culture sort of thing. There will never be enough rules because people that make them are afraid to leave no wiggle room, of which in itself suggests something that asspains me.
Not him of course and are being sardonic.
>>241101
When I first started using emulators and eating however much I wanted upon adulthood I was pretty happy.
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No. I wasn't always a miserable piece of shit, but I was never actually happy.
Bad father, incompetent (but well meaning) mother, and my "friends" in elementary school and middle school just bullied me for fun and to impress succubi. Socially isolated (partially self imposed) in high school. Never had any sense of fulfilment or anything to look forward to.
Bad father, incompetent (but well meaning) mother, and my "friends" in elementary school and middle school just bullied me for fun and to impress succubi. Socially isolated (partially self imposed) in high school. Never had any sense of fulfilment or anything to look forward to.
>>241193
>playing the brand new Dark Souls in high school
this really hit me how young people are here
>playing the brand new Dark Souls in high school
this really hit me how young people are here
I was depressed even when I was a young child. In my mid 20s got as close as one can be to suicide.
However I have broken out now and miraculously recovered, it seems. Moving out away from my toxic family and buying shitcoins fixed everything. It is interesting to see that it was my circumstances causing my depression rather than something within me
However I have broken out now and miraculously recovered, it seems. Moving out away from my toxic family and buying shitcoins fixed everything. It is interesting to see that it was my circumstances causing my depression rather than something within me
>>241218
I was on antidepressants for some years (only made me worse) but never did therapy
I was on antidepressants for some years (only made me worse) but never did therapy
Probably at some point. I was happier back in the 00s and beginning of 10s, but I can recall wishing for suicide even as a toddler and having really depressive episodes. Maybe it was bad since the beggining but I was just too innocent to realize it.
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>>241285
im sorry
im sorry
i was so happy as a little kid, maybe around 8-10 i started to become unhappy because i got fat and thus ugly, which led to bullying. i became depressed at 12 when i switched schools and got extremely sad and depressed. its been downhill for me since the age of 7.
I can't remember having even one positive experience in my life. Even things which should have felt good didn't. Due to this I have no motivation and desire nothing from life. No pleasure, no warmth, no love. I don't even feel anything from taking drugs which are supposed to make you euphoric.
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i'm always happy
I was pretty happy although i didn't do much with life, until i was about 8 or 9, then i suddenly became extremely depressed. It caused me to stop trying at school, stop talking to family, withdraw completely from everything that wasn't sitting in my room. To this day i still feel the same as i felt then, emotionally i have not progressed at all and the depression has only become worse with age.
>>241461
It's all so bleak and bland.
I see other people, even wizards and the sort, feeling this world, maybe not "happy" (I'm not really sure if I know what that means), but still able to feel something, while I'm confined to this state of anhedonia, numbness…
It's all so bleak and bland.
I see other people, even wizards and the sort, feeling this world, maybe not "happy" (I'm not really sure if I know what that means), but still able to feel something, while I'm confined to this state of anhedonia, numbness…
>>242521
I don't even have the energy to go through with suicide. I just let time pass. It's so dull and boring, even when it's not supposed to be (I guess)
And I'm always tired and sleepy, no matter how much I sleep, no matter what I do all day. I just don't get it. It seems like nobody else around here feels like me. I'm going to the psychologist again tomorrow and she's probably going to end up sending me to a psychiatrist, which is going to prescribe me some useless SSRIs and anti-psychotics, but it's not like I have anything else to do, so I'm going there anyways.
I don't even have the energy to go through with suicide. I just let time pass. It's so dull and boring, even when it's not supposed to be (I guess)
And I'm always tired and sleepy, no matter how much I sleep, no matter what I do all day. I just don't get it. It seems like nobody else around here feels like me. I'm going to the psychologist again tomorrow and she's probably going to end up sending me to a psychiatrist, which is going to prescribe me some useless SSRIs and anti-psychotics, but it's not like I have anything else to do, so I'm going there anyways.
>>242526
Yeah, I dunno man – sounds like you're suffering from a lack of purpose. A young, virile white man like yourself should be out saving civilization instead of rotting here. This website reminds me of Israel. Go outside and save the white race now.
Yeah, I dunno man – sounds like you're suffering from a lack of purpose. A young, virile white man like yourself should be out saving civilization instead of rotting here. This website reminds me of Israel. Go outside and save the white race now.
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I am happy right now too, I've been happy since I started living like a hermit. I was depressed from 15 to my early 20s but I learned how to enjoy life again. Happiness is so easy if you get the hang of it. The key is to satisfy your emotional, mental and physical desires.
Now I can barely stop being happy, even if shit things happen to me or I witness bad stuff I only see the fun side of it. I wonder if this is how mania feels like? Well, mania is superior to lethargy in every way so I don't complain.
Like Jack Nicholson said in Batman, "as my plastic surgeon always said: if you gotta go, go with a smile." This is my life philosophy now. Laughter and joy really leads to more fun and happiness, this is a continous spiral.
>>242267
I like you.
Now I can barely stop being happy, even if shit things happen to me or I witness bad stuff I only see the fun side of it. I wonder if this is how mania feels like? Well, mania is superior to lethargy in every way so I don't complain.
Like Jack Nicholson said in Batman, "as my plastic surgeon always said: if you gotta go, go with a smile." This is my life philosophy now. Laughter and joy really leads to more fun and happiness, this is a continous spiral.
>>242267
I like you.
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>Mom spews her doomsday scenarios only to finish them with religious cope at the end
>"At least we had a good life"
No we didn't, not since you sharted me out and made my childhood traumatic with your fearmongering and lies. I was ready to move when the corona meme hit. My life has been nothing but a unfunny joke. When one door was closed in my face, another one opened and I couldn't ever reach it in time.
>"At least we had a good life"
No we didn't, not since you sharted me out and made my childhood traumatic with your fearmongering and lies. I was ready to move when the corona meme hit. My life has been nothing but a unfunny joke. When one door was closed in my face, another one opened and I couldn't ever reach it in time.
>>242649
Had savings and a job. Not anymore.
>her help
not happening, she'd sabotage me if she knew I want to move.
Had savings and a job. Not anymore.
>her help
not happening, she'd sabotage me if she knew I want to move.
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>>242634
>I was ready to move when the corona meme hit. My life has been nothing but a unfunny joke. When one door was closed in my face, another one opened and I couldn't ever reach it in time.
Had a similar experience, made the mistake of looking forward to how my life was going for the first time in over a decade and it all came crumbling down within weeks and now I'm in a worse state than ever. It feels like a softlock in life, something that wasnt intended to be possible to mess up so badly yet I found a way get completely stuck.
To come back to the thread topic I've never been overly happy but there was definitely a time when I was somewhat content with living. Regaining that has always been my goal, a goal so simple and mundane yet one I'm slowly beginning to realize I'll never reach.
>I was ready to move when the corona meme hit. My life has been nothing but a unfunny joke. When one door was closed in my face, another one opened and I couldn't ever reach it in time.
Had a similar experience, made the mistake of looking forward to how my life was going for the first time in over a decade and it all came crumbling down within weeks and now I'm in a worse state than ever. It feels like a softlock in life, something that wasnt intended to be possible to mess up so badly yet I found a way get completely stuck.
To come back to the thread topic I've never been overly happy but there was definitely a time when I was somewhat content with living. Regaining that has always been my goal, a goal so simple and mundane yet one I'm slowly beginning to realize I'll never reach.
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>>241101
No, I've never been happy. I've always been universally despised as a subhuman and I've suffered immensely from it. Even back when I was a young child I was systematically humiliated in the school system and by normalfags in outer-society, I've only ever known scorn, hatred and ostracism. I hate the few relatives I have. I've always been an outcast, I developed a schizoid personality very early on where I grew to prefer isolation but it didn't help much to numb the pain of living this cursed existance in this rotting corpse of a body. I'm totally seperate from humanity but I prefer it this way. If I could live in a cabin in the woods in the middle of nowhere and never see anyone ever again I'd be content. I've known no happiness or serenity, only the cold.
No, I've never been happy. I've always been universally despised as a subhuman and I've suffered immensely from it. Even back when I was a young child I was systematically humiliated in the school system and by normalfags in outer-society, I've only ever known scorn, hatred and ostracism. I hate the few relatives I have. I've always been an outcast, I developed a schizoid personality very early on where I grew to prefer isolation but it didn't help much to numb the pain of living this cursed existance in this rotting corpse of a body. I'm totally seperate from humanity but I prefer it this way. If I could live in a cabin in the woods in the middle of nowhere and never see anyone ever again I'd be content. I've known no happiness or serenity, only the cold.
>>242693
This except I've lived in a cabin out in the woods and I just struggled very hard to do basic tasks for myself to keep myself alive like get out of bed, eat food, drink water, etc. I was too damned depressed.
This except I've lived in a cabin out in the woods and I just struggled very hard to do basic tasks for myself to keep myself alive like get out of bed, eat food, drink water, etc. I was too damned depressed.
>>243210
I’ve been wondering for a long time about why this is. It seems to be universal to basically all mental illnesses/developmental disorders/sexual disorders/etc. No idea why. You would think some things would manifest later and some earlier. Maybe social dynamics become exponentially more complex at that age? Is it purely the introduction of gendered dynamics?
I’ve been wondering for a long time about why this is. It seems to be universal to basically all mental illnesses/developmental disorders/sexual disorders/etc. No idea why. You would think some things would manifest later and some earlier. Maybe social dynamics become exponentially more complex at that age? Is it purely the introduction of gendered dynamics?
>>243662
It's when boys and succubi lose their innocence and start competing in the sexual marketplace which causes a lot of suffering for the people at the bottom
It's when boys and succubi lose their innocence and start competing in the sexual marketplace which causes a lot of suffering for the people at the bottom