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/dep/ - Depression

Depression

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File: 1632872358510.jpeg (5.23 KB, 256x197, 256:197, images (9).jpeg) ImgOps iqdb

 No.247746

I remember in my 20s I used to have friends I hung out with and had a decent social circle.Now at 30 years old I really have no one.If I didn't live with family I would be completely alone.Life is tough living like this.

 No.247747

I never had friends in my entire life, even people online hate me, you just roll with it

 No.247749

I don't know. It's just what's natural for me.

 No.247752

>>247747
There's no way you haven't had at least one friend.

 No.247753

>>247746
This >>247749. I have never really had any real friends or a social life, so being completely alone for me is the norm.

 No.247754

Every friend I ever had (except maybe one) was a narcissistic piece of shit and because of this I'd much rather be alone.

 No.247755

>>247752
I had a few "friends" in school, as in people that would talk to me occasionally in class, people who would hesitate and change the subject if I even asked them to play a videogame on steam with me. One single person had my phone number and I found out a little after high school that he would just pretend to be my friend so I would tell him secrets and then he would tell his friends so they could laugh at me. I didn't realize this until he invited me to some hangout with his real friends where I realized I was the clown/entertainment for them, to which I left and cried in car and never talked to him again. In general people have never liked me, even when I was a kid (6-7 years old) my parents tried to have a party for me and invited my whole class and not a single person showed up.

 No.247768

>>247752
I had school friends that I sat with at lunch but after high school I spent all of my twenties alone

 No.247776

I have simulated friends and I do introspection and name my needs.
I don't want to maintain a friendship, but I want to talk with people ocasionally. I simulate having friends by talking with online strangers and ocasinally co-workers that are 'cool'.
Basically focus on yourself, respect yourself and assess what do you want. Why are you a wizard, why are you a loner, is this not what you wanted? Or are you just afraid to admit it or don't respect yourself to be happy with your choices?

 No.247783

Sounds like failed normalfag shit.

 No.247795

File: 1632955382411.png (248.31 KB, 384x649, 384:649, 1624142572789.png) ImgOps iqdb

>>247746
I'm 27. The last time I had friends was when I was 20.
I made a serious effort to make friends during my second college attempt. On the first day at lunch time I went around looking for people in my class who were on their own and said "want to hang out". Then they would follow me and I got them to walk around with me, looking for more people. Then I'd ask them to hang out and they all said yes. It was so easy, like catching pokemon.
Eventually I had a group of 4 people and we'd all hang out at lunch. Then it all started to fall apart for me. I'm just not a good conversationalist. My rag tag group became friends while I kind of just sat there awkwardly, laughing at their jokes.
They were all PC gamers but I could only afford a crappy laptop, so I couldn't even hang out with them online.
Now picture me 3 years later and forgotten, looking them up on facebook at uni together and thinking "I built this shit".
Since then pretty much every attempt to make friends has been the same, mostly in discord. People just don't want to be friends if you can't chat like a normal person.

 No.247797

>>247795
>People just don't want to be friends if you can't chat like a normal person

That's fucking facts. For me, it's my focus and reaction time that just aren't there. I can't come up with comments on the spot and just throw them into a short pause. It's always too fast-paced and then I end up daydreaming and feeling depressed. Almost every contribution I can think of I just write off as being too risky. If I did say what's on my mind freely, I would have to endure the painful trial-and-error of learning to socialize and building an external identity, which is 2hawd for a lazy sensitive bitch boy like myself.

 No.247819

Yeah, you get used to it, nothing more to say

 No.247821

>>247746
Most of my social interaction these days comes from shitposting on various chans and watching YouTube livestreamers.

 No.247829

>>247746
Your 20s? I haven't had a "friend" since I was 11.

 No.247834

I don't deal with it, I'm depressed. Why do you think I'm here?

 No.247836

i hate talking to people and i really have a hard time relating to them, and usually we are not interested in the same things. so i basically choose to be alone. but it is so brutal on like my emotional health. like i feel like a zombie 90% of the day and cant focus on anything. i notice i am a lot less intelligent and i react to things slower. i keep subconsciously reaching out to other people like on imageboards or parasocial interaction like on youtube or tv or books. but i end up getting frustrated and it never fulfills the innate biological need for companionship. isolation is slowly rotting away my mind. i cant wait until it dims the light so much that i lose my self consciousness and start just acting on impulse like an animal

 No.247902

>>247746
When life let's you alone, megasupersexgigafuck.

 No.247903

buy tons and tons of shit, eat tons and tons of food, watch tons and tons of TV and movies, play tons and tons of video games, take tons and tons of drugs and alcohol.
If you got the creativity to do it, maybe make tons and tons of shit, too.

right now i'm dumping maybe $600 into the Digimon Vital Bracelet and maybe i'll buy a custom digivice off of etsy, too.
I'm also undergoing quite a serious project in RPG Maker MV.

if you're constantly waiting for expensive toys in the mail and racking your brain with intoxicating substances and flashing lights on the computer, you don't even think about people. i haven't thought about anybody in about 4 weeks now because i've been doing quite a good job of avoiding it entirely and just stuffing my fucking face with good food and good drugs.

 No.247905

I was like that like 3 years ago but then I realized, especially after the quarantine happened, that friendships are just a giant scam. I feel bad for you to falling for in in ur 20s but now you should look at it for what it is, just truepill yourself.
In some ways talking on imageboards or to a lesser extent discord is better because this form of communication removes some of the factors that can make friendships irl fickle and fragile. But E-friendship certainly have their own drawbacks as well.

 No.247906

>>247905
P.S
This is the best imageboard even if it's slow. Making friends here is against the rules i think but i guess you could still try.
Aside from this place, I've been on discords and its such a mixed bag there. There are decent wizardly people there, but in every server there's time when crabs try to one up each other, trying to flex similar to normalfag apes. Discord can be a popularity contest and it very much is a lot of the time.

 No.247907

>>247906
People that use discord are one step away from normalfags.

 No.248545

I get you anon, but just remember that even normies have extremely fragile friendships. They backstab and drop each other all the time. There's no such thing as having a real brotherhood anymore. I guess that's the thing that makes me sad as fuck when I watch anime. Friends that actually have each other's backs for life? Unrealistic bullshit hahaha

 No.248558

>>247746
I haven't had "friends" since I was 15ish. Yeah, it's a lonely life, but it is what it is. It is a lot easier with the internet. I am reminded how annoying people can be and how autistic I am all the time, so that usually takes any desire I have for companionship and I would prefer to be alone except for occasional chats with my mom.

 No.248571

By being on the "journey to discover myself" however cliche it sounds. I'm reading stoicism, Bible and reflecting. People are a distraction and I started to recognize them as such.

 No.248578

I have the ability to have friends, I had a decent size of friends in High School and College (almost all of them weird weebs like me, one of them may or may not be a pedo) I also had the chance to become friends with some of my coworkers that were a bit nerdish n shieet.

The thing is that I don't really need it, I can make friends but I would rather not, I would rather be alone, I don't have a problem with loneliness, my problem is money or more exactly the lack of it.

 No.248607

That's great until you run out of things to do your burn out your dopamine recetpors. Consuming garbage and distracting yourself with hobbies only works for so long.

 No.248609

>>248578
here's your (you) retarded normalfag

 No.251661

Why would you want friends? I always avoided having them.

 No.251662

I want friends in the ideal sense, but I know having friends for real wouldn't be fun for me, I don't like being tied to people

 No.251667

The same way I deal with not having food I do not even like in my fridge. I dont really care about being by myself. sometimes I talk to someone online may try to get close but it never works I am too detached.

 No.251681

I just endure it, tough shit but no one cares. I never had friends since elementary school but I always felt like I was missing out on life since i was 18. I remember how the sudden realization of how soulless my teenage years were made me very depressed and i was already feeling old, not even noticing that i was on the way to blow up my 20's. Now that I'm 28, 18-20 years old seems very young. Melancholy due to a life devoid of love (in a very broad sense), events and memories is at the core of my psyche at this point, it's all a damn blur and i feel weird as fuck. Don't get me wrong though : I never was eager to throw myself at the feet of the first person that would have given me the chance to be socialized. It's pretty obvious that for a sensible person, lots of people kinda suck, that's why I never really made lots of efforts and kinda looked down on the world. But if I ponder on it, let's say "in the absolute" , there are also people that are worth your consideration and time, but maybe it's not everyone's fate to find them. To be honest, i was actually too mediocre myself to connect with good people. I kinda get how having friends and a richer emotional life while one is young must feel like, because I could feel the bliss of youth even though I was alone and unhappy.

 No.251687

>>251681
>but no one cares.
What I find most amusing about this phrase is the hidden aghast tone.
No one cares? No one cares?!
But no one cares!
You can almost hear that, "How can no one care?!"

Oh how far we've fallen, unable to see that which is most obvious…
or let ourselves be deceived by those around, clinging onto the faint possibility that someone cares!
What does it even mean to CARE for someone anyway?
It is up to you whether to find liberation or despair from it.
No one cares!

Here are some other lies littered in your paragraph for you to contemplate
>soulless
>missing out
>old
>love
>worth the time [hint: to do what?]

But at least you have one kernel of truth
>lots of people kinda suck
Good luck, we'll both not need it.
:)

 No.251688

>>251687
behold the smug contempt of the condescending truewiz everyone!
fuck off you hostile fag, let the man /dep/ in peace

 No.251689

I cope with alcohol

 No.251691

At the moment I'm just spending inheritance on copes and posting on places like this, watching youtube videos etc.

 No.251698

Nowadays when I feel like pontificating on loneliness and my despair and aghast tone! oh dear feelings of being abandoned by the world and consigned to rot in a corner until death takes me – when I have these funny feelings, I simply imagine myself writing it out on paper (like a typical /dep/ post) and then crumpling it, and throwing it into an overflowing waste bin marked "Things People Will Never Read Or Care About".

 No.251701

>>251687
I already wondered at what extent I'm subordinated to the idea of how life and it's representation i see in the lives of others should be, or to what a vitalistic society is selling us. It is, at some degree, superficial and pathetic, I'm just a mortal person and i can't tell where exactly the reification starts or ends, but at the same time it's just me recognizing what might be genuinely beautiful in the civilized human experience.

>No one cares!

I just meant that you're alone and forgotten, this part of the post really has nothing special next to the rest of it apart from the fact that it gives you the possibility to do some smug boy theatrics.

>lies

I didn't even want to affirm or claim anything like it was an absolute truth, just wanted to vent my feeling so "lies" seem like a strong word in that context. You're maybe the one lying to yourself with your uberman delusions, with your head in the sand, which might explain why you immediately got on a war footing. But hey maybe this time I'm the one looking too much into a tiny part of a sentence.

 No.251728

Around August this year I made an instagram account and tried to talk with some persons. Later this autumn I also made a facebook account and tried to talk with people in my own town/area. There was only one person who talked with me regularly. From the end of August until early this month we used to write to each other on facebook daily or so. However, of course I fucked it up. I simply am not capable of maintaining proper connections with others, I am a fuck up in this sense, a true loner. My final conclusion is that most people aren't worth the effort and time to befriend them, but there are still persons out there who I consider worthy. But like I said, even if I were to meet someone like that, I would fuck it up again. I'm annoying, possessive, aggressive and incredibly sensitive, so whenever this person didn't write back for some reason I always attacked/insulted him. He forgave me numerous times but at the beginning of this month he had enough of me…So that's it for my little experiment. I am not made for social life, even if it is on the internet. I can't coexist peacefully with others, no matter how much I like them. And most people don't even want to talk to me actually, so it is fine. Time to go full Musubi from SMT Nocturne and embrace solitude.

 No.251730

>>247746
>I remember in my 20s I used to have friends I hung out with and had a decent social circle
I think the later on you become a social reject, the more painful it will be to deal with.
I haven't had a normal/active social life pretty much ever, so dealing with it has been deeply ingrained into my mind making it less of a chore and more of an autonomous/subconscious process, to the point of not even wanting it.

 No.251767

I never had any true, actual friends, not even on the internet.
IRL i was always alone and rejected by everyone else when i was a kid so as a teen i didn't even bother, later on i tried to make friends on the internet and things went ok until i started to open my feelings a bit to a group of "friends" i had which ended with all of them endlessly mocking me and in general treating me like crap.
Ok, maybe i lied a bit with the "no true actual friends" part since later on i found two or three people i actually liked talking to and shared many of my interests, but then i realized that i'm terrible at starting and maintaining a conversation, and of course if i didn't engage they didn't really have a reason to do so either so the friendship just ended up fading away.

 No.251798

>>247746
I lost all my friends around 25 and struggled with it for a year or two but I love it. I love being left alone and I hate people. Most people still act like faggots in high school and it’s just a joke.

I don’t care what other people think of me and I don’t care about them either. I’d rather read a book or learn a language etc. must people are just dumb animals

 No.251809

>>247746
The only friends I imagine exist in fiction. As a general rule, I do not like people and they do not like me. It's fine.

 No.251810

Friendship between losers isn't real. Not even normies can get a stable mutual friendship going with all their communication and social skills. It's a nightmare when wizards try to befriend each other since it'll never be an equal friendship. I.e neets can't be friends with wagies, and wagies will have their own totem pole based on how easy their job is and how rich they are. Throw in poor social skills and mentally illness and you are always paranoid of the other might be a secret normie or nonvirgin.

 No.251834

>>247903
That is going to catch up with you soon both physically and mentally.

 No.251839

It's really fucking difficult anon. I'm 25 and I haven't had friends in a long long long time.
For several reasons I'm 4 years behind the normie schedule of going to university and getting a master's degree. I enrolled this year so I'll only finish it by the time I'm 27.
Meanwhile I've only briefly worked two blue collar jobs that were absolutely awful since they had a toxic work environment.
I try to make friends at the university but things just don't fucking seem to work, people backstab each other all the time.
A couple of weeks ago I got so sick I ended up at the ER. When I came back to school no one gave a fuck about what I had gone through. Surely some pretended but no one actually cared.
No one understands major pain and suffering in this day and age of instant gratification and social media bullshit.
I've been in pain a long long time, I try to hide it but I can't hold it much longer.
My pain is sharp and constant and I do not hope a better world for anyone.

 No.251850

I dealt by enjoying my alone time and freedom until one day I turned 25. Suddenly I didn't want to be alone anymore. So I started browsing the LFGs on Xbox Live. Did that on & off for 8 months until I finally found a group of friends I mesh with. For the first time I made friends that initiate at least as much as I do. I read somewhere that you can tell how much of a "friend" someone is by how much they initiate the conversations [this applies to XBL party invites as well]. On top of that I learned how to "adapt" to each group's humor and add onto it in an appropriate way. Is this making any sense? Anyway, if you have a console or a PC with a mic, definitely start joining custom lobbies or their equivalent. It will take time, but you'll find your new friends.

 No.251852

>>251850
Are online friends real?
攻殻機動隊

 No.251854

>>251850
consider yourself lucky, I cant even use a microphone and I'm older than you

 No.251856

Wizchan 2021. What the fuck.

 No.251861

I recently had this Christian group invite me t-o a meet and greet (mostly to get people out of their houses because of covid and I honestly gave it a try at first. I went to exactly one of their meets – it was fine – the people were nice. But the whole time I was there I felt awkward and uncomfortable.

I went to it because I thought it might be good for me. But over time I realized that I just wasn't the kind of person to enjoy such things. I ended up sending out a long autistic text explaining how im a shut-in with anxiety but that I appreciated their invite. All in all, I think some people are just meant to be alone and there's nothing wrong with that.

If you think about it even normies to a large extent don't do much social stuff when they end up in relationships. Their social needs get fulfilled by being in a couple so they just end up being by themselves. I think people like us can get that social need in just from talking online. And not everyone even needs to do that to be happy.

 No.251885

>>251861
Sounds like you learned something about yourself anon. How much "social needs" people have is just because they THINK they need to have socialization because of culture/peer pressure?
Why'd you sage yourself?

 No.251889

Yeah op I was the same in my early 20s. Healthy social life, hung out with people all the time, the works.
Then I moved to a new city for school and I've only made like 1 connection with another person. The people at my work are nice and one of them is really cool and we have a lot in common but we don't hang out and to be honest I'm pretty sure most of my coworkers are just waiting for me to leave on the 30th for my next school semester.

It's incredibly hard for me to connect with anyone. I'm awkward, I'm not funny or witty hardly at all, and sometimes I feel like I make others uncomfortable. Am I too intense? Do I smell? I don't understand I try to be so nice to others and not be a bummer to be around but I just can't seem to find anyone that truly wants to hang out outside of work.

I spend the majority of my time alone smoking and drinking and playing SoulSilver on my phone.

I wish I had more people to connect with. I'm so lonely.

 No.251891

>>251889
>>251889
>Yeah op I was the same in my early 20s. Healthy social life, hung out with people all the time, the works.

Wizchan 2022 arrived early I see.

 No.251892

>>251839
And I get ignored yet again. Even losers ignore me.

 No.251893

>>251839
>>251892
I read it, didn't reply because I couldn't post anything useful.

Imageboards make people think that they're being ignored if they don't receive 10 (You)'s.

 No.251894

>>251893
"If you do thing right, people won't be sure you've done anything at all."
This is my #1 cope.

 No.251906

>>251891
I don't know why people with healthy social lives find the need to come to websites like this. Is there nowhere sacred anymore that I can call a refuge with others who are like me?

 No.251919

>>251893
Thanks for reading anon. Hope you had a good day.

 No.251920


 No.251926

why is there no place for genuine outcasts without normalfags? just go to r/depression like the rest of your kind

 No.251928

>>251926
what are you even talking about?

 No.252269

>>251928
see: successful functioning yuppie STEMcoder ubermensch will-to-power /fit/izen philosopher-monk "wizards" with at least four friends IRL

 No.253898

>>247797
>That's fucking facts. For me, it's my focus and reaction time that just aren't there. I can't come up with comments on the spot and just throw them into a short pause.

I've had people approach me and attempt to have a conversation various times, but I just couldn't really say anything at all. Just say monosyllabic stuff like "yeah" and "uhuh" responses most of the time, and I can only think about what would have been good comments when the conversation is way over. The real issue here is that people will not initially realize you have a problem socializing, they will think you're some smug, condescending asshole who thinks they're not worth your time.

 No.253908

>>253898
>The real issue here is that people will not initially realize you have a problem socializing, they will think you're some smug, condescending asshole who thinks they're not worth your time.

So then let them think that and use your aloofness as a shield to protect you from normalfags

 No.253939

>>253898
>people will not initially realize you have a problem socializing, they will think you're some smug, condescending asshole who thinks they're not worth your time
Spot on in my case. Yeah, I'm an elitist snob who views normals as lowly animals most of the time. Not everyone can be on good terms with each other.

 No.253946

I am in my 30s. I live alone in my house. I visit my parents once a week and socialize with them. Other than that, I am in the presence of people when I run errands and go to the gym. I managed to maintain a few friendships from high school, until covid bullshit cowed these friends, causing what little fondness for them lingered in my mind to shift to disgust. "Who are these obedient midgets?" I can never look at them in the same way; unable to have respect for them, we can no longer commiserate, the friendships now shambling undead. Life is not so tough yet, but I am cogent enough to realize that if I do not connive some sort of social safety net into reality before my parents expire, then, when I am old, sick, and spent, I will suffer much exertion and pain. To connive, however, is a human function that I lack; to pretend to be amicable is loathesome to me, so I bide my time until no one is aware of my existence, at which point I will have permission to end my life. Best to be alone and have this option open, rather than to be burdened by the chains of love which choke out our moral allowance to disintegrate. If there is a God I thank him for granting me the ability to be content in solitude. I curse him for it in the second breath.

I must continue to immerse myself in the human milieu, to the extent that I retain the ability to acquire comforts and sustenance. This requires maintenance of sanity, defined as attunement to the cultural wavelength surrounding me. I nurture attunement through reading and browsing the web. When alone, emotions become wound up in a jumbled mental constipation. Most men clear this accumulated angst out into human receptacles, confidants (the Catholics formalized this necessary function with the confessional). Any form of articulation functions as an emetic. For me, art is an adequate substitute for a friendly ear: writing, painting, and music, these three keep the raving at bay. To a lesser extent, temporary self-annihilation through absorption in media, but I find that this method serves mostly as a postponement of problems better conquered through expression. At the outset of watching a movie or playing a game, I am already disappointed, for I know that these sessions are mere substitutes, practice runs, for the true death. These activities which mirror sleep.

 No.253974

>>253946
this reeks of larping

 No.253975

>>253974
What does that even mean? What are you implying by saying it's a "alrp"? If you don't believe his story is true, just say so. There's no reason to immediately come in with the flavour-of-the-month buzzword used to talk down to imageboard users.

 No.253980

>>253975
I don't know, something about the unnecessarily ornate style rubs me the wrong way.
maybe I'm reading too much into it and being agressive for no reason, you are right.

 No.253990

>>253980
That's just how I write sorry

 No.253991

>>253975
>>253990
I have made two observations that may help you.

1. there is a significant minority of wizards that recoil at what, to us, is normal language
2. these same people are incapable of discussion when the floweriness is stripped away

We can maliciously support these people in their vendetta because I'm extremely confident they can't survive the conditions they want to create, whereas we can. When wizchan reads like a science journal, solely concerned with mechanical reasoning, the people who attempted to exclude you will be excluded themselves.

What you're dealing with is a power grab hidden behind the mask of anti-intellectualism, but it actually grants you a lot of power if you follow it through to its natural conclusion.

 No.254030

File: 1643565776388.jpg (3.94 KB, 169x250, 169:250, 1621229512799.jpg) ImgOps iqdb

badly. loneliness is hell. The only time I feel okay is when I'm high or after a workout. then I long for human contact. can't focus on my studies. the current social climate is so dystopian. there's nothing to say. just pain

 No.254032

I'm so tired of being friendless. Next time I get the chance I'm going to start talking to people about whatever I can justify approaching them about. Doesn't have to be a long convo. I just need some interaction.

 No.254035

Loneliness went away when I was about 25. I'm nearly 30 and pretty much feel nothing now, but not in a good way, I don't really enjoy anything anymore.

 No.254082

I just remind myself most other human beings are utterly insufferable and I'm better off without them. I thank God, Fortuna, the Great Pumpkin- whomever, that at least I have a little solitude and can live the NEET life.

 No.254086

>>253991
I hate people that nitpick over grammar and language

 No.254088

>>247746
I love it. There's nothing more beautiful than solitude and silence. The best moment of my day (before going NEET) were enjoying my cup of coffee in the early morning when everyone was still sleeping and it was completely silent. It was magical.

 No.256366


 No.256369

>>247752
>>247746
How the fuck is this thread allowed?
>There's no way you haven't had at least one friend.
Are you serious? unironically fuck off normonig

 No.256379

>>247746
I haven't had friends since i was 27 and im 31 now. it was tough at first but now its whatever.

 No.256423

Everybody is too disgusting to bother.
I try making online friends every couple months and all of them are pathological liars obsessed with sex and obsessed with staring at themselves in the mirror.
I'll show disapproval of this but they'll eventually "slip" and talk about it around me anyway so I'll quickly eject them and be reminded of why I don't care about friends in the first place.
Give it a month and I'll get lonely again and seek out a new friend and have another repeat of the exact same thing.
Try for yourself and see what happens.

 No.256426

>>256423
>I'll show disapproval of this but they'll eventually "slip" and talk about it around me anyway so I'll quickly eject them and be reminded of why I don't care about friends in the first place

You expect people to act accordingly to your own sensitivities and when they don't you start avoiding them. This shows that you have unrealistic expectations in people because there is no reason for anyone to rethink every sentence they are about to say in order to not bother you. It's just not how people work, you can't expect them to avoid talking about certain topics for you, it's annoying and no one is actually that emotionally close to you to take extra measures.

It also looks like you try to socialize with people on public discord servers or whatever platform you are on and those are usually crowded with people craving attention, lying, obsessed with sex as you described and usually they are younger than you as well, so they are definitely the wrong people to talk with if things like pop culture and sexual topics bother you.

I don't think it's possible to fix loneliness by trying to socialize with people online, there is a reason why you are lonely and the people who actually end up talking to you most likely have some issues themselves which could lead to further problems for you. A lot of people also act different on the internet and a lot of normies are actually quite boring irl or way less interesting. You hardly get a 100% genuine thing out of anyone on the internet because most of them have a social life and just use internet communication as entertainment.

Now I wonder, do you actually care about other people or do you just use them in an attempt to fix your loneliness while they use you for your attention.

 No.256429

>>247746
Having no friends can feel either grueling or a bliss.
It depends on the days, some ups some downs.

 No.256450

>>253990
Seems good to me

 No.258065

>>247755
That's painfull i'm sorry lad

 No.258066

>>256423
You are not a good person.

 No.258067

File: 1650539908819.jpg (164.42 KB, 1983x1590, 661:530, 1617992604939.jpg) ImgOps iqdb

I have no problems talking with people one on one but if it's a group environment I just stall up and don't know what to do or say. It could be text chat even and my mind just goes blank and I begin to worry and get paranoid. It's worse for the few times I tried voice chat. Joining servers in games and stuff and everyone is talking shit. All I can muster is a forced laugh at the best of times before I quietly leave with nobody noticing. The same thing happened in an MMO when I joined a guild and went in voice and everyone was just so casual and chatty. It'd help maybe if they tried to include me in the conversation but perhaps from their POV they don't account for socially crippled loners. Not like MMO's or games in general are the bastion for those types of people anymore.

 No.258146

I do not know, I never had real friends although some people I knew in Twitter a couple years ago, but they were only online friends and I never met them irl. Also I barely speak with them anymore. At least I lived with my family so I had some human interaction but now I live in a little room I'm renting, I barely have money and I think I never felt so alone before. This sucks, I wish I could speak with somebody but I don't know where and even if I knew I always lose interest. Anyway, sorry for my English, I'm from Latin America. Bye.

 No.258152

>>247755
I'm know we're all anonymous here but I truly hope that life worked out for you since then

 No.258156

>>256426
How many friends do you have and regularly talk to, IRL or otherwise?

 No.258160

>>258156
Skirting the edges of rule 3.

 No.259885


 No.261589

>>247746
Rule of power: disregard things you cannot have. Ignoring them is the best revenge.

I crossed your actual situation at my 14 years. Achieved some peace from wanting to please undeserving peers.



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