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/dep/ - Depression

Depression

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File: 1634452834636.png (514.2 KB, 860x803, 860:803, skelly_student.png) ImgOps iqdb

 No.248676

I think this may be the end of the road for me.

Back in high school, I had so much potential:
>Maintained a 95+ average throughout high school. Finished with a 95 average in final year.
>Won numerous academic awards.
>Had decent extracurriculars.

I could have gone to pretty much any Canadian university for anything I wanted (yes, I'm a leaf).

Then, I made one mistake and everything went to shit. I chose to pursue the wrong major (biomedical engineering) at a mediocre university.

Fast forward to first year:
>School online because of Covid. Motivation for school practically non-existent.
>Dad becomes disabled. Family's finances go to shit.
>Dad and mom start hating each other. Toxic home makes me care about school even less.
>Parents decide to divorce.
>Finish first year with a 68 average. Drop several classes.

For whatever reason, become filled with determination over the summer. Learn material I couldn't be assed to learn during the year. Decide to get better grades in second year and transfer into electrical or mechanical engineering at UWO, McMaster, or Queen's.

Fast forward to second year:
>Taking bullshit but easy classes + classes I dropped.
>Need to get incredibly high grades this year or I'm fucked.
>Hate taking bullshit classes. Humiliated and depressed.
>Stupid professors try to make their bullshit classes harder than they have any right to be.
>Doing well so far, thankfully.

I have finally realized the gravity of my situation. I may well end up having to take bullshit classes for years before I can transfer. I don't have the finances for that. And even if I successfully transfer I'll graduate years behind my peers. Plus, how much stuff will I forget by the time I transfer? Basically, I'm in academic limbo now. Becoming a NEET isn't even an option. My parents are poor now because of my dad's disability and they're selling the house because of the planned divorce.

School is the only thing I care about. I never really had a life outside of school. And now, because of one mistake, I may not even graduate.

 No.248677

>>248676
You fell for the university meme.
Start doing freelancer stuff.

 No.248684

>>248678
I dunno what the job market is like in canada but tons of people study things like that in the USA get the degree and dont get jobs in the field anyway. At the end of the day the only reason to go to college is to get more money its not about anything else.

 No.248685

>>248684
I agree that employability should be a consideration when pursuing a degree. If I manage to transfer, I should, statistically speaking, have a good chance (for Canada) of getting employed. Electrical engineering is in demand here. However, getting this degree from these particular schools is important to me for other reasons than just employability. This is truly one of the few things I wanted to accomplish in life. Unfortunately, it looks I’m but a hair’s breadth away from failing to achieve this goal.

 No.248687

>>248685
I used to have similar thoughts. A few years later you will probably not give a fuck about what you did in university, and nobody else will care either. Caring about grades etc is bullshit. You are focusing on that because it is one of the only things you can control and that tends to actually reflect your effort. It is likely one of your only ways to build self-esteem and have an aspect of your identity that is successful. But it is a meaningless scam and your efforts need to be spread elsewhere for a good outcome

 No.248689

>>248676
More like start of the road as a wizchan poster friend or at least a /dep/fag
None of this really matters as the poster above me mentioned you just think it matters because your entire mental world is stuck in this little box.

You are in canada you could try become NEET for disability if you have something wrong with you mentally who knows. If you are so stressed go to the doctors and get benzos so you can still study and work on mindfulness. You say you are humilated in class? stop caring what others think.

Learn to give up and accept life as it is and for you that may mean not having the life you actually want to live but that is growing up. You have a long way to fall before you learn to enjoy the feeling.

 No.248691

>>248689
>>248687
Why are you guys coping with the good grades don't matter bullshit? They absolutely do matter if you want to do postgrad or make something above average in terms of wage. Yeah you'll still be a wagecuck buy at least you'll make more money if that's what OP wants.

 No.248692

>>248691
>Why are you guys coping with the good grades don't matter bullshit?
>They absolutely do matter if you want to do postgrad or make something above average in terms of wage
Tell me you don't get NEETbux without telling me you don't get NEETbux

 No.248693

>>248691
I did do postgrad and got top grades. It was all pointless so I wrote one of those comments. Employers don't care about grades, nobody does.

 No.248694

Don't spend your time here. They will drag you down to their level.

 No.248695

>>248694
Yeah OP, don't cancel that date next Friday.

 No.248696

>>248694
Drag them down to our level? more like we may help you see beyond your own bullshit and come to terms with accepting your pathetic life by dropping out of it.

 No.248697

normalfag site

 No.248698

there is nothing i regret more than going to college
it is an archaic concept in today's society, most normies just smirk and start downplaying your accomplishments if you even bother mentioning them
>Oh you went to college huh? We got a smart ass on our hands
>4.0 GPA? That's nice but have you worked your ass off for 15 hours a day just to pay the bills?
etc etc this shit never ends pretty much once you finish college all you get is a big fuck you from everyone and realize you got scammed for money and time
if you ever do manage to get a job out of college you'll be treated like a baby by everyone who worked their way up the ladder to have the same job and you will get 0 respect there and looked down on as a child by boomers with kids your age

 No.248699

If you are not wasting time in university, it is always hell. From what you posted in the OP, you haven't hit hard classes yet, so difficulty of classes shouldnt be a problem yet. Just study. And get off the internet. The internet is just 5, 50, or 5000 retards saying dumb shit to entertain each other.

 No.248700

>>248699
p.s. dont listen to all the wizards saying "you fell for the university meme" etc, they're all /dep/ wiztards

More than half of H.S students go to higher education. Far less than that can benefit from going to college. The guys who complain about it are just the folks that can't benefit from it. But if you're a smart guy studying STEM, and you could possibly be interested in it, then you're in the right place.

 No.248701

>>248700
You think dep wizzes are sour they dont get a good wage? hows not having the stress of needing to work or do anything in life compared to some extra money to buy the latest phone you dont need.

what benefit at all is there from studying in some institution when you can sit in your room or under a bridge and learn everything you need to know.

 No.248703

>>248689
I’m not necessarily humiliated because of what others think. I’m humiliated because I’m stuck taking retarded classes so I can improve my GPA for a chance to transfer into the degree and institution I want to be in.

 No.248705

>>248699
I may never even end up hitting the hard classes. I’m working on transferring right now but if I can’t, I don’t know what I’ll do.

 No.248706

>>248700
I wish I was in the right place. I chose the wrong major and the wrong university. I’m trying to transfer but who knows if I’ll succeed.

 No.248708

>>248687
>>248689
I disagree about it not mattering. We all have different things we want to accomplish in life. This is something I wanted to accomplish. I could just give up and stoping caring about life but is such a life worth living?

 No.248709

>>248691
Grades matter to me because I need them to transfer.

 No.248710

>>248701
For me, the benefit is that it is the first step towards achieving my goals.

 No.248711

>>248693
I may not even end up having a degree for employers to look at if I don’t transfer. I don’t want to graduate from my current university with a major in biomedical engineering. I want to transfer to one of the schools I mentioned and get either an electrical or mechanical engineering degree.

 No.248712

>>248698
Again I’m not only interested in getting a degree in engineering from the schools I mentioned for the purpose of employability. It is the first step towards achieving my other goals. If only I just went to these schools straight out of high school. Now I’m stuck trying to transfer.

 No.248713

>>248708
> I could just give up and stoping caring about life but is such a life worth living?
this is the only way to make life worth living.
throw this steamer into your noggin to stew for a while and get back to us.

 No.248714

File: 1634493842581.gif (44.49 KB, 220x185, 44:37, milk-and-mocha-cuddling.gif) ImgOps iqdb

Hey, I’m really sorry you’re feeling like this. I hope something good happens sometime soon and you’re able to appreciate it, it can’t be good to be in that dark of a headspace. Good luck with this, I hope it gets better.

 No.248715

>>248676
>>248689
It's hard to really stop caring what others think. Most of us subconsciously care

 No.248716

>>248715
>It's hard to really stop caring what others think. Most of us subconsciously care
This shit ruined my life, but i can't help myself.

 No.248717

>>248700
>But if you're a smart guy studying STEM, and you could possibly be interested in it, then you're in the right place.
Nope. For it to be worth it you need a very specific goal in mind, to enjoy some job for reasons other than money. That is very rare, and those rare people will be so sure of their path that they wont be questioning themselves and posting on the internet like this

 No.248718

>>248714
Thank you for the kind words. I’m not dead yet and I intend to continue trying to transfer but I can’t deny that I’m in a difficult situation. I hope this gets better too.

 No.248719

>>248717
I know in my post I sound undecided about what I want to do, but I’m pretty certain I want to be in engineering. There were a few external factors that pushed me into going into the wrong major at the wrong school.

 No.248721

>>248715
I certainly care what others think, to an extent. However, caring what others think isn’t the only factor influencing my decision.

 No.248722

>>248719
i'm just gonna warn you, engineering is not something you pick lightly. I went to college for it, trust me, you need to be sure.

 No.248723

>>248722
I’m already in one field of engineering - biomedical engineering. I just want to switch into a different field of it at a different school.

 No.248728

>>248722
Would you say that some standalone guidebooks written by an engineer could be a better source than wasting our time in those classes?

 No.248731

>>248728
I would not. At least in Canada, engineering is strictly regulated. In order to become a professional engineer one must finish an accredited engineering degree, practice for two years, and then write an exam on ethics. Furthermore, university allows an engineering student to network and intern. There’s also the prestige factor to consider. An engineer with a respectable degree from respectable school will be more highly regarded than perhaps an engineer with less experience or an inferior education.

 No.248732

>>248731
people jump all through these hoops for what reason? unless your love of life is to be an engineer what possible purpose does going to college to get the degree and do all the work after grant you?

 No.248734

>>248732
One of my goals in life was to become an engineer. Unfortunately, I chose the wrong field of engineering (biomedical engineering) at the wrong school. I’m now trying to transfer into either electrical or mechanical engineering at the universities I listed in my original post. However, I don’t know if I’ll be able to successfully transfer. My goals are very important to me.

 No.248739

>first year covid
>second year
Another college kid zoomermensch from r9k. Just leave us alone.

 No.248740

>>248739
Although I may be a zoomer, I’ve lurked Wizardchan for several years now. Also, I’m a khhv, I have very few friends, and aside from academics my life has been completely uneventful.

 No.248741

>>248740
>I have very few friends
I have never understood what people mean when they say they have very few friends.
You all say this as if not having a friend for every day of the week is abnormal. How many friends is very few? it cant be two or you would say a few and it cant be one because you would say one friend so it must mean at least 3 friends. how many friends do people normally have?

 No.248743

>>248693
>I did do postgrad and got top grades. It was all pointless so I wrote one of those comments. Employers don't care about grades, nobody does.
You know all of this depends on your major right? Of course grades in something like gender studies will never matter

 No.248747

>>248741
I’ll be more precise. I have one online friend. I don’t physically meet up with my online friend. My second friend I knew from childhood. This childhood friend grew up to be a Chad. This particular friend does hang out with me sometimes but I’m never his go to friend and he uses me mainly to feel better about himself by comparing himself to me. It’s kind of a toxic friendship but the benefits outweigh the cons. My third friend is a guy who I helped throughout high school. We hang out sometimes but he’s pretty different from me so our interactions aren’t too interesting.

 No.248748

>>248743
Grades matter to me because I want to transfer universities. GPA will be used to evaluate me.

 No.248749

>>248676
May I ask why do you think is biomedical engineering a wrong major OP? Isn't that one of the more employable sectors of engineering? I guess you don't want to work on MRIs and CTs

 No.248750

>>248747
poor little thing

 No.248751

>>248749
Biomedical engineering is a very niche field. Industries that typically employ biomedical engineers also employ electrical and mechanical engineers to do the same jobs. However, biomedical engineers are not qualified to do electrical or mechanical engineering jobs. Furthermore, I realize now that electrical or even mechanical engineering would be more suitable for what I want to do.

 No.248752

>>248750
I didn’t mean to say that as if it were something negative. I don’t mind having few friends. I’m more interested in academics.

 No.248754

>>248751
Oh yeah I think I read that about med engineering but I forgot. I wanted to do something like that but I'm just garbage at math. Are you good at math?

 No.248755

>>248754
I think I’m good at math. I always did well in it in high school. Additionally, despite getting shitty grades in most of my first year classes, over the summer I tutored (I did their tests and homework) some UofT students who were taking math. “They” all achieved grades in the 80 - 90 range.

 No.248758

>>248747
> I have one online friend
it sounds like this is the only friend you have and that is totally fine.
>This childhood friend grew up to be a Chad
>he uses me mainly to feel better about himself by comparing himself to me.
sounds like something some insecure crab would say. what you say could be true about him comparing himself to you but it may not be and to even calling someone a friend you dont care about is pretty pathetic.
>It’s kind of a toxic friendship but the benefits outweigh the cons
sounds like you are the toxic one but what are even these so called benefits?
so you dont feel lonely? what normalfaggotry is this.
>My third friend is a guy who I helped throughout high school. We hang out sometimes but he’s pretty different from me so our interactions aren’t too interesting.
why don't normalfags know what a friend is when they are the ones who tend to have "friends"

You people don't value each other beyond what you gain from each other in the form of staving off your own lonely feelings of boosting your ego and it is about the only thing I get angry about.
You don't know what it means to be ALONE and you don't know what it means to have COMPANY either.
Why are you people so unable to care for people and bask in the warmth their soul emits.

 No.248766

So, why do you wanna be an engineer anyway?

 No.248774

>>248766
Aside from this being a field I think I’d enjoy working in, I have a few goals I’d like to achieve. Becoming an engineer is the first step to achieving the other goals.

 No.248775


 No.248776

>>248775
How have I broken the rules with that post?

 No.248777

>>248676
One of the worst parts of being young is not realizing just how many chances you get at everything, and that there is no such thing as a single failure that defines the rest of your life like there is in narrative fiction.
I failed out of college my freshman year because I couldn’t find a psych to prescribe the ADHD meds I’d become dependent on in high school. Was also studying biomedical engineering. I spent a year or two doing nothing but help my mom die of cancer, then really really fucking slowly started taking community college classes while fucking around and failing to get different businesses off the ground. I didn’t graduate until I was 25, and it was fine — walked into a high-paying job and everything. It sounds like you might lose a year or two, but as long as you don’t let that fuck with your head and turn it into more years, that really doesn’t matter at all.
Everything that seems like a big deal now is nothing.
Things that seem like nothing now — namely, friends/dating — are crucial, and you will regret not spending time on that.

 No.248778

>>248776
number 3, friendo

 No.248779

>>248778
To be fair I didn’t describe the activities I partake in with my Chad friend. I only said that it’s a benefit of being friends with him.

 No.248782

>>248777
The biggest concern of mine is being able to transfer. If I can’t transfer I’m pretty much screwed. I’m a strong believer in the benefits of celibacy hence why I’m not into dating and all that. I agree that I can certainly make more of an effort to gain friends, however right now I can’t really say I’m in university. Right now I’m taking bullshit classes at my current university in hopes of improving my GPA so I can transfer into engineering at a different university. I think if I’m able to transfer and actually start making progress towards finishing my degree it’ll be easier to make friends.

 No.248783

> I enjoy the activities I participate in with my Chad friend
> I don’t mind any of this, to me participating in fun activities outweighs being somewhat bullied
What type of wizard is happy to be suffering humiliation to hang out doing "activities". This is failed normalfag and lacking in any dignity sir.
>>248779
>To be fair I didn’t describe the activities I partake in
Rule lawyering semantics to try evade violating the rule heavily in spirit is not appealing to any of us. You don't behave in a way that suggests you are even the type of poster who most others would think belongs here. Adjust to the culture of at least not MENTIONING hanging out with your "chad friend".We know some wiz who post here probably have people they interact with from time to time to share hobbies with and we do not hate that people simply have access to being social. The very fact you mention how you want to be near others so much you let someone belittle you speaks volumes.

Look at your post itself

 No.248785

>>248783
Ok I’m sorry. I deleted the post. However, I would like to point out that I don’t enjoy hanging out with my Chad friend for the purpose of being social. It’s hardly social considering that it’s just the two of us. I enjoy the activities themselves. I’m not a good driver and I don’t research different activities available so it would be hard for me to participate in these activities alone. If I could go to these activities alone and do them on my own I would.

 No.248794

Do good grades really not matter? I got A’s in my first year of college when it was online and I could cheat but I’m in my second year now and it’s in person and I’m depressed and have 0 ambition or hope. I will probably fail a class and get C’s. I don’t care about uni or learning, I just care about getting skills so I can get a job

 No.248795

>>248794
It depends on what you’re planning to do. If you want to transfer or attend further education after your bachelors then yes. Otherwise it could only matter for getting your first job or internships.

 No.248796

>>248795
I have connections so I will be able to get an internship because of nepotism. But yeah my grades are dogshit but I don’t want to do grad school fuck that. I just want a job

 No.248797

>>248796
you're fine then, just get bare passes

 No.248803

>>248740
Then lurk more.

 No.248809

>>248785
>I don’t enjoy hanging out with my Chad friend for the purpose of being social
So why do you spend time with this friend? you make no sense
> It’s hardly social considering that it’s just the two of us
oh yeah I have seen normalfaggots say this before. How many of you need to be partying for it to be a social event?
>I’m not a good driver and I don’t research different activities available so it would be hard for me to participate in these activities alone
Funny as you are fully funtional.
There are wizards here who enjoy outside activities but require a social worker to be able to engage in those solitary activities and you make it sound like your friend is doing this for you when he obviously isn't as you are capable of doing things.

I want you to leave

 No.248810

>>248809
What is there not to understand. My hanging out with my Chad friend isn’t about me socializing with him. I simply enjoy the activities that we engage in. It’s convenient for me if he arranges transportation, booking, itineraries, etc.

Besides, this is kind of getting of topic. My original post was about academic matters.

 No.248812

>>248809
Actually, this thread has gone off topic. I will leave. Thank you to everyone who responded, especially to those who provided feedback on academic matters.

 No.248815

>>248810
>>248812
Good then fuck off and maybe next time dont go posting about your social life normal scum

 No.248826

>>248783
>>248809
>>248815
This poster is quite pathetic. Going on a rampage on OP just because he said he hangs out with one person.

 No.248829

>>248826
>one person
way to show you did not even bother to read the thread.

Lurk moar

 No.248831

>>248826
shut up nigger. we have very few and simple rules here, if you can't be fucked to follow them then get out.

 No.248833

>>248829
Whatever you said Mr. Brainlet. I'm saying what I see, jumping on someone for some little thing is stupid.

 No.248842

>>248833
Why did you reply to him with "brainlet" for pointing out that we have very few rules here that need to be followed?

>jumping on someone for some little thing is stupid.

The entire point of using this board instead of r9k is to have these rules and people who do not follow them or fit in not posting.
Go back to kid chan

 No.248859

OP sounds like a successful normie to me.



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