/dep/ - Depression

>>250632
>How do you overcome the shame and guilt?
I just ignore it, but that's probably not what you want to hear.

If you can just stay on extended education, go and enroll in some bullshit course and tell your parents that you're trying to do something.

Or tell your parents that you will kys if you have to work, maybe they will get it and let you NEET for a while.

There's no help for you, ccposter. You're mentally ill, and you can't even open a thread here without avatarfaggin. What advice do you want, youre attentionwhoring again.
You shouldn't feel ashamed or guilty, it's illogical, it's unreasonable because your situation is one that you couldn't help. You didn't cause yourself to be mentally ill, it happened to you, it's not your fault so just try to do your best with the help from your family and doctors. So whenever you feel ashamed or guilty remember that you're not entirely responsible for being the way you are, let's say, you're a victim so to an extent you're innocent. You cannot be judged for having a mental condition that won't go away and ruins your life, you're exempt. Never compare to others who are normal and healthy because you're not like them, you're a patient and need healing.
Good luck.

>>250632
could help if you get some doiagnosis I guess even for them. We should not have to live this way OP.

Just try not feel guilty you may not have asked to be born but you also didnt choose to be so averse to life that you have to NEET.
Have you tried to explain to your parents?

>>250635
Didn't you post encouraging messages in some other blogposter's thread on /b/? You're hardly one to talk when it comes to avatarfagging.

>>250633
Due to the expectations my parents had on me since I was a kid, I think a bullshit course would be just as dissapointing for them as me being a NEET, since they expected me to be a doctor, engineer, or something with high status like that. I don't want to tell them I'm thinking of killing myself, it sounds like blackmailing in a way, I'm willing to take up chores around the house though, live a house wife life in a way, just as a NEET man, cleaning and cooking, not having to worry about studying, working or driving, just taking care of my family, actually sounds somewhat comfortable, though it depends on how they'd react to the idea, if it'd be enough to please them, or if they'd still be dissapointed, seeing me as an ungrateful failure.

>>250635
I agree somewhat, I didn't choose to have depression and see things the way I do, I wish I could see the world in the same way my old college classmates saw it, optimistic and interested in what they were doing, feeling like they had a purpose and going for it, being fulfilled by it, if I could choose to be like that too, why wouldn't I? It really isn't 100% my fault, I'm just mentally ill, though at the same time I feel inadequate because I always had a need for people's approval for some reason, maybe because I've always hated myself and felt a need to fill that hole with other people's love and validation instead, and I know most people won't forgive me for being mentally ill, they'll just call me lazy and say terrible things behind my back, and that really hurts me, I wish I could be more successful and functional so people wouldn't look down on me and judge me, but just that isn't motivation enough for me to get out there and live as I'm expected to, it just hurts too much, I want the reward, but the price is just too high and doesn't seem worth it.

>>250639
I was diagnosed with depression years ago, took medication for a few months before I gave up on them due to frustration, because I though they would save me, only for them to do nothing. Also did therapy for 2 years, but never felt any better, never got out of an appointment with my therapist feeling better than when I came in. The problem is my therapist kept telling my parents I was getting better, even though I wasn't, and I felt like she never took me seriously, never took my depression seriously, the same goes for my parents and sister, who call me "Emo" as a way of mocking me when I complain, and say I have nothing to complain about, they see my life as perfect and better than theirs, so me complaining is just a sign of me being ungrateful and pathetic, lazy. I don't want to explain anything to them because I overall dislike venting, I feel comfortable here because it's anonymous, but in real life I always feel inadequate and judged, so with time I've learned to keep it to myself, I've never felt better after venting to someone I know, especially my family, I don't want to sound like a spoiled teenager, but functional people really don't understand, and just see my struggles as nothing, as lazyness and being spoiled, and if they can't understand then talking feels pointless.

>>250641
Reminds me a bit of myself at the start of my NEETlife. My family did not take me seriously about being unable to do things or stand being awake. It was not until I freaked out a few times at home and mom had the day off and seen me just crying all day that they began to understand.

You really need to change your perspective or you will make NEET life worse than it can be. Try to let go of being a failure in others eyes. This is a problem only you can solve and entirely through how you process everything around yourself. I think you should know what NEET life is like as the years go on and on and if you dont want that future you need to think twice about being a NEET.

How long have you been a NEET?

>>250642
I'm new to being a NEET, which is why I'm struggling with it all. Dropped out of college after finally breaking down and not being able to endure it anymore. It'll be really hard to let go of how others see me, I know I must, but I've never really had any genuine goals or dreams of my own, and I've never liked myself or saw any worth in me, so getting other people's love, and living their dreams for them, living up to expectations, has always been everything to me, what justified and validated my existence, and now that I don't feel capable of doing that anymore, I sometimes feel like I might aswell be dead, my life was never centered around myself, and when I finally realized I couldn't motivate myself to live other people's dreams anymore, I also realized I didn't have dreams of my own, life to me is just a chore, it has some things I like, but they don't feel like they're enough to justify the effort existing takes. It's all just too much.

>>250643
Word to the wise.
Try get yourself into a habit of working on some skill daily if you can even if it is only for 30 minuets.
Be weary of these NEET communities off site that are not anonymous (social media, DM, anything like that). it is not worth dealing with the immature antics of our kin and at most having someone you talk with online at most is all that is "needed". If you cannot handle being truly isolated and alone you may never learn to enjoy your own company like a schizoid wiz.

We may not be happy and rarely enjoy ourselves but at least we do not need to work in order to feel like shit every day. Start reading good books and watching good shows, may as well be comfy while being miserable.

It takes time to let go and stop seeing yourself as everyone else and this does not mean deigning yourself as lower and under others but as a different species almost who observes but never or rarely is a part of the world.

You are lucky your parents are ok with you NEETing but at the same time this only causes you to feel worse I bet.

Try take it easy and go with the flow a NEET can still have a rich life especially if they are lucky enough to have something they care about like /hob/fags.

>>250644
I'd say some of what you've said is already my way of thinking in a way, at least partially. I have a hard time seeing the pursuit of happiness as life's goal anymore, because to me joy is a weak and brief feeling, especially compared to misery, which is strong and lasts, and I see that in my old peers from college, always going from goal to goal, spending months working on something and celebrating only for a little while before going to the next goal that'll take months of work and stress. I see the point of life as avoiding one's own suffering as much as possible, which is why being a NEET is the only thing that makes sense to me now, since a funcional life style causes too much suffering for me to bear. So I try to spend my days feeling as comfortable as possible, mostly in my bed, inside of my room where I feel safe, eating my mom's tasty food, I'm not exactly happy, even though part of me feels like I should be, but I'm comfortable.

I appreciate the perspective you gave me, of not seeing myself as being below others, just different, not something which can be objectively compared and ranked, though I know it'll take time for me to genuinely see things that way, if I even manage to do so, because in my whole life I always felt a need to compare myself to others and be better than everyone else, as I felt like that justified my existance in a way, especially in a highly competitive world like this, I recall competing in entrance exams, and even if I graduated I'd have to compete for jobs, it's just so stressful, I need to learn to stop seeing it all as a competition with a winner and a loser, because I'll always see myself as a loser and feel bad because of it. Either way, I'm grateful for the perspective, I'm sure it'll be good for me if I can learn to see things like this.

My parents not kicking me out and letting me be a NEET really is a relief, but like you've said it really does make me feel worse, like I'm taking advantage of them, like I'm a bad son, though I really can't help it, in a way I try not to feel too bad because I know that what I really wanted wasn't a NEET life, because while it's not as bad as other life styles, I'm still miserable, what I really wanted was to kill myself, but I've managed to avoid it until now, though I've already bought everything I need and have it hidden in my room, because it gives me comfort knowing that it's there, still, I try to feel good knowing that I've spared my parents in a way, because I feel that my suicide would make them feel worse than me being a NEET, I'm alive for their sake, even if I'm not very good at being alive, I see the point of my life as minimizing my suffering, but I want to minimize their suffering too, at least as much as I can under my current mental health conditions.

I'll try to take up more activities around the house, like cleaning, cooking, etc, so my mom doesn't have to do it, that way she'd have more time for herself to rest, I'm sure she'd appreciate that, maybe living as a NEET, but taking care of the house chores for my parents, so they can focus on just relaxing after coming home from work, is the way to go for me, depending on how accepting they are to this, on how much they appreciate it, my family life might be comfortable going forward, I just have to hope they really are accepting of me and manage to let go of any grudge, resentment or judgment, little do they know, but my life literally depends on how they treat me from now on, because I'm still here only because I don't want them to suffer with me taking my own life.

>>250645
Absolutely do household chores. I've always told NEETs that they should do whatever they can to make themselves nice to be around. Household chores and paying rent with bux are basically your best weapons in getting your parents to be cool with you being a NEET. Always, always do the first, and if you at all can, do the second.

(A good third is to have official diagnoses of mental illnesses, but this appeals to family more on a moral level than on a pragmatic level.)

>>250646
when your mental issues are too much of a burden they eventually throw you away.

Do something productive, show them (and yourself) you're not a waste. Help out around the house, learn some useful skills needed irl, get out and do things sometimes, make or buy them something to show appreciation.

>>250652
What advice could I give? I live every day pretending my life isn't as bad as it is. I try not to think about the future at all seriously anything i can do to distract myself i do it.

>>250646
>>250652
Agreed on the chores/housewifing part. In my mere 2 months of NEETdom, I was doing laundry, dishes, all the yard work etc. Atop of that, there must be some "middle ground" case you can consider. I was able to "ease my way" into working by starting part-time in IT, which eventually became full-time. But I'm also an aspie with a CS degree and a passion for IT, so I'm probably coming off as too privileged to be of any help. Alot of these will depend on how much you can handle, but:
>nighttime security guard
>volunteering of some kind (i.e. reshelving library books)
>graphics card scalping
>flipping houses or other items
>clinical trials
>writing a book
>day trading
The list goes on & on. Some of these will add financial value, some moral, some both. The biggest thing you need is a hobby/skill to try. Something immersive enough that it gets you out of your head and into a flow state.

>>250684
> The biggest thing you need is a hobby/skill to try.
repeating for hopeful effect.
fuck vidya btw it is better to read forum posts than game all day every day in some ways.

OP you need to think hard about becoming/staying a NEET because it is signing up for a potentially limited life and one where your isolation drives a wedge between yourself and others. You may think this is ok as you are happy being alone but feeling like an alien and being separate from everything normal is a strange feeling.

Your mental may well get worse if you stay a NEET without any goal at all or hobby although it matters not if your mental health declines and refuses to let you even enjoy your hobbies.

you need to do some thinking about what caused you to become a NEET and think hard if it is an expression of another problem you could work on like confidence and managing anxiety. NEET life is great but you need to be warned of what is not so great. Let go of any regrets and better not start regretting being NEET or you are in for a bad time

I honestly don't know why people looks down on NEET's, what? Are people happy with being wageslaves making money for some Jewwith their labor? Now being free is something to be ashamed of?

Make money by yourself if you can OP, try selling things, some years ago there was a wizard that used to combine a bunch of skincare products into some cream and started selling it and making money, you should try something like that, fuck people who tell you that you have to be a slave to have a meaningful life.

>>250692
You still don't get it? They are bitter that someone gets to live fairly comfy, while they need to slave away 8 hours every day.

That's why they go into ape-rage mode and start insulting them.

>>250710
I just remind them that if they were me they would also have to deal with severe mental illness, and it wouldn't be partying and having fun 24/7

>I know they love me, and I do love them
I don't understand where the problem is then. That statement entails that they accept who you are and will support you.
If they resent you, then you are wrong about something.

Personally that wasnt enough for me. I don't really care about my family, and I would rather kill myself than life with them. Luckily i was an early crypto adopter so I have escaped the live-with-parents vs wageslave dilemma for now

Suicide is a perfectly acceptable action, so if your relationship with them falls apart with them resenting you or vice versa, you should just do that. Techniques should also be considered to make them understand the situation, for example the same things that would back a neetbux application, like seeing doctors, therapists, doing embarrassing 'suicide attempts', trying to study and failing. Behave in such a way that society classes as mental illness rather than laziness, even though we know the distinction is in truth an illusion

>>250714
>Behave in such a way that society classes as mental illness rather than laziness, even though we know the distinction is in truth an illusion
I get that normalfags cry about meme depression continually but you do realize some people do have serious mental problems that stop them functioning and it is not just being lazy.

Next time I am having a panic attack and feel like I am tripping because it is so intense I will remnd myself I am just being lazy and same goes for psychotic breaks and so on. fuck off.

Rest of what you said I agree with however OP obviously just feels guilty so until he changes his perspective he will be subjected to it.

>>250712
That doesn't help, tons of normies are 80-90 IQ and think schizophrenia, severe depression, autism etc. are "made up" because it's not something instantly visible like a broken leg.

You can't reason or talk with those subhumans. It just can't be done.
They want to take away your money and benefits just to see you suffer, not because it would impact them in any way.

>>250715
Your aversion to the term laziness just shows that you really care a lot what people think of you. Yes, you are valid, not like those who are just lazy and deserve to be reproached by you along with society.

>>250725
>. Yes, you are valid
this is so important to me XOXO omg thank you so much.

care what people think of me? I am anonymous cockmuncher fagot and I am just trying to make it clear that severe mental illness exists especially among people who belong here.
maybe you crawled out of reddit where it is trendy to have "depression".

>>250733
We all know it's you, cc. You always go on about how you don't care what people think of you but are clearly desperate to be seen as mentally ill instead of morally deficient like those "depressed" who you imply are just lazy. Also you literally made a subreddit lol

OP here.

>>250646
No NEETbux where I live, but I can do household chores, so I'll try. I have an official diagnosis of depression, but I don't think anyone takes it too seriously, not even myself to be honest.

>>250649
I hope that's not the case with me, though I can definitely see many parents doing this, I still trust mine enough to believe they won't though, hopefully.

>>250652
I know that these are all things that I could do, and they sound simple enough, but to me just getting out of bed can take so much energy which I barely have anymore, I feel so tired all of the time, but resting doesn't fix me, so I just stay tired, it's hard doing everything, even the smallest things, but I'll try.

>>250680
You sound a lot like me, hopefully in the future both of us can find a way out of this, anon. Good luck!

>>250684
I know easing my way into some sort of work, especially something I can do from home, is ideal, but I genuinely feel incapable of doing so, I don't really have a passion for anything, never did, I have no goals or dreams, no motivation to live except not wanting others to deal with my suicide, finding the motivation to do things like studying and/or working with something feels impossible, especially because I feel like college and work were the things that broke me in the first place, adult life in general really. All of the things you've mentioned, I'm grateful for the suggestions, but I can't do any of them, asking me to do anything besides existing can feel like way too much. I know, it's pathetic, but it's what I am.

>>250690
I don't really think I've decided to be a NEET, something I've signed up for, because I never wanted this, I always knew the negative effects it could have on me, but I genuinely couldn't stand any other life style besides this one anymore, the reason I quit college and don't look for work isn't just a matter of me not really wanting to do it, but I genuinely can't. I'm sure it's the expression of another problem, but I can't think of anything specific, me ending up like this is an expression of everything, of my life as a whole, almost everything feels wrong, which is why suicide has been my main plan for years, it just feels natural now.

>>250692
I don't have the energy to try making money anymore, the only way I can see myself making money would be to draw for money, but I already don't like drawing anymore, and having to draw for other people, with expectations and demands, just makes it worse. Even if I did make money, it'd never be enough to make up for all of the money I wasted on college, so if I'm going to be debt in human form I might aswell just accept it now.

>>250714
What I meant by this is that if they didn't love me genuinely then I'd probably have been kicked out by now, so naturally they do want my well being, they're my parents afterall, and I'm grateful for everything they've done for me, but that doesn't necessarily mean they accept the failure I've become, just because they love me and care about me, doesn't mean they don't hold grudges and resentment, they're flawed humans like me afterall. I agree suicide is acceptable, it's just that I'd like to avoid it if possible because I don't want to hurt anyone and I know suicide can be painful for those left behind, but I've already got everything ready and hidden in my wardrobe, I can leave whenever I prefer now, and it's comforting to know this. Honestly, not even I take my own depression seriously sometimes, I recall being diagnosed with it when I began college, I was bombing my exams and my parents were treating me poorly, so I asked for an appointment, and I somewhat expected the diagnosis, maybe even acted differently then I normally would during it to make sure I'd get the diagnosis I wanted. I never went to a psychiatrist looking for treatment, I wanted a shield, so I always saw my own diagnosis as manipulative on my behalf, an excuse for me being lazy, disinterested and ungrateful, not even I ever took my own depression seriously, even now where I have everything ready for my suicide method of choice. I don't know what to make of any of this.

>>250751
>I don't really think I've decided to be a NEET, something I've signed up for, because I never wanted this, I always knew the negative effects it could have on me, but I genuinely couldn't stand any other life style besides this one anymore, the reason I quit college and don't look for work isn't just a matter of me not really wanting to do it, but I genuinely can't. I'm sure it's the expression of another problem, but I can't think of anything specific, me ending up like this is an expression of everything, of my life as a whole, almost everything feels wrong, which is why suicide has been my main plan for years, it just feels natural now.

It wasn't a choice and never was. Globally, not just in the US, non-NT's are generally unemployed at rates of 85-90%.

Even in the UK which has done everything it can to incorporate them into 'regular society, 80% of people with aspergers or autism have never had any kind of employment as adults. No matter how highly educated.

https://www.autism.org.uk/what-we-do/news/new-data-on-the-autism-employment-gap

Even Down syndrome adults have higher rates, with 57% of them being employed:
https://www.nchpad.org/1415/6299/Employment~in~Adults~with~Down~Syndrome

Being non-NT is an absolute soul crushing death sentence in modern society. There is *nothing* for us in life and being NEET is not a "choice", it's either that or suicide.

Proof that people can see whether you are neurotypical or not just by looking at you:

https://www.liebertpub.com/doi/abs/10.1089/aut.2020.0059

>Do Neurotypical People Like or Dislike Autistic People?
>Published Online:2 Sep 2021
>https://doi.org/10.1089/aut.2020.0059

>Background: This study investigated whether neurotypical individuals' judgments that they dislike a person are more common when viewing autistic individuals than when viewing neurotypical individuals.

>Methods: Videos of autistic and neurotypical targets were presented to a group of perceivers (neurotypical adults) who were asked whether or not they liked each target and why.

>Results: It was more common for perceivers to “like” neurotypical than autistic targets. The number of “likes” each target received correlated very highly with perceiver ratings of target social favorability and neurotypicality.
>Perceivers cited perceived awkwardness as the reason for deciding they disliked targets.

>Conclusions: The findings shed light on how neurotypical people (mis)perceive autistic people. Such perceptions may act as a major barrier to social integration for autistic people.

You are trapped in hell.

>>250749
You can usually tell it's the cafecretin when it shoehorns crabs and the topic of crabs into its posts for no reason.

>>250826
As if that were a good thing. These make-work jobs are heavily subsidized. Anything to make bureaucrats happy about labour force participation rate.

>>250840
I guess I still use wagie philosophical structures. Still though, you have to admit it's somewhat depressing that the government is more willing to subsidize and employers more willing to employ a Downie. Somewhere behind the scenes, there's more empathy for them.

>>250850
Not really. It's more like retards are being pushed by social workers into these special structures and jobs for therapeutic purposes, or so they claim. Maybe it is helpful to them, I really don't care, and I do not envy them at all for that.

>>250852
I think a large part of it is that the caretakers/parents of the retards want some time to themselves

>>250759
Most of silicon valley, or fens (UK), are non-NT.

>>250855
Those are HFA's though (high functioning autists).

Most people on the spectrum are average, slightly above average or below average IQ and have no hope of being employed in modern society.
Hence the 85% unemployment figures among spectrum folk.

To my fellow neets out there.
It gets better, by the time you are nearing your 30s your parents will start to give up hope on you that you will get married, find a partner, find a job et cetera. They will start to be happy about other things. That you are still alive and well that you are not in trouble.
I wouldn't worry too much about your parents. Parental love, barring few psychos, is truly unconditional. You will be their beloved son forever and ever.

What you really need to take into consideration is what will going to happen to you when they are gone. Luckly there is only 20 years of difference between me and my parents and I am an only child. I expect my parents to live at least 20 years more and will inherit a decent if not lavish amount of money. However this might not be the same case for you. Please act accordingly and prepare yourself. There is quite a lot of early retirement / financial independence discussion online and I think many of the talking points can resonate with NEETs.
My problem is a bit different. I come to the realization that one day I will be alone, truly alone. Being only child of only children really cuts off relatves and I realized one day I might be old and unable to take care of my self. I started to take my health more seriously after I realized this.

>>250969
narcissistic and pathetic. You're almost a full psychopath.

>>250973
What makes you say that?

>>250980
How the hell am I psychopathic. I'm not abusing or using anyone.

>>250759
I gave up on ever finding a job. It's impossible, and the reason why so many autists are unemployed is they can't function like regular adults. Can't make eye contact, can't carry a conversation. Other people see that you are not like them and don't want to be around you.

>>250969
You are fortunate. I see a lot of NEETs who live by the "I'll kill myself when my parents die" mantra.

I urge NEETs to apply for public housing if your country has it, just in case. The sooner the better.

>>250982
Very much so. Fortunes of course can turn anytime.
>>250983
>>250984
I think you are too harsh on me, but coming to middle age you think about death a lot, be it your parents death or your own.
Why I think about my parents death is not due to who is going to buy my tendies, but the sense of true loneliness. Many neets pretend that they are `lonely` but in reality, oftentimes they have parents. When they are truly gone so goes your last connection to world. And I think this is terrifying, maybe far more than being old and not being able to stand after you fall under your ass.
Having a family just to have someone to take care of you is narcissistic I agree with you on that.

>>250985
You don't even know what loneliness is, if you think neets can't feel lonely for having parents. Psychopath trash.

>>250987
They can feel lonely of course but it is not true loneliness. If you have a functioning family consider that a blessing. Many people don't have it and one day they will be gone. I think people dont appreciate their parents as much as they should.
>>250986
>>250988
>>250986
Okay I will stop feeding your bait and random insults enjoy talking to yourself

>>250632
Look into a job that would be NEET friendly and look for seasonal work this winter to keep family happy

>>250989
It's true loneliness you narcissistic trash.
Who are you to tell others they're not feeling true loneliness because they're parents are still alive. For you one might need to be the only single entity alive on this planet to experience true loneliness.

Anons, how did you all tell your parents that you were going to be a NEET from that point forward?

What I mean is, in the moment you told your parents that you were dropping out of school or college/quitting or getting fired from your job and that you also had absolutely no intention at all of taking entrance exams/applying for job interviews in the future, essentially admitting that you were going to be a leech for the rest of your life, that was never going to give them the fulfillment of having a successful son, how did you do that? How did they react to it at first and in later conversations?

I'm going to be giving them the news soon, probably in the next few weeks, and become a NEET like a lot of you in this thread, but I'm not ready, I don't know how to tell them, I'm scared of them getting mad at me, shouting, resenting me, telling me to go to college or get a job, telling me to either work for them and earn minimum wage or to get psychological and psychiatric help, but I don't want to do any of those things, I just want to lay down and rot in the comfort of my room until the day I finally die.

I'm no longer interested in life, so the only existance that makes sense to me is one without effort.

If I can't live like that, then living makes no real sense to me at all, and suicide is all I'm with.

>>251120
>the only existance that makes sense to me is one without effort.
being alive is a lot of effort, neet or not.
Don't quit so soon if you're young, take things with ease. Don't go from one extreme to the other.
You can very well take a part time job, or once you're in college decide what classes you want to take, set your own schedule. Then take a semester or year off college if you're tired.
There's always an option.

>>251122
I understand that existing by itself already takes effort, and naturally leaves us open to enduring difficulties and suffering. What I really meant to say was that the only existence that makes sense to me is one where I can minimize my effort in living as much as possible.

I breakdown pretty much every single day, I think about killing myself for hours every day, and its been like this for years now. Every single day I have to wake up and get out of bed, when I don't want to, drive, which I hate doing, to a place I don't want to go to, to do tasks I don't want to do, and then get back home and park my car, which I hate doing, and then resting for a few hours so I can do it all again tomorrow, it's all just too much and doesn't feel worth it, the effort life demands isn't enough to justify the rewards it gives me.

I feel inadequate all of the time, anxious all of the time, scared of messing up and being judged all of the time. I can't take a part time job or go to college anymore, I don't want to leave my home, I don't want to leave my room, it's the only place where I feel some safety and comfort, so I wish to just be here at all times if I can. I feel like a few years ago I've developed some sort of chronic exhaustion, and it doesn't get better no matter how much I rest, how much I sleep, how much I try to make myself comfortable, I'm always so tired, every day.

Another reason the NEET life is all that makes sense is that I have no goals or dreams in life, so the only reason I could have for studying or working is to pay the bills, have a roof, food, but I've always had these things, and will continue to have them as a NEET. I have no drive.

>>251129
I'd like to be a NEET for the rest of my life, that is until I die of natural causes or kill myself, with the latter being the most likely. I have a middle class family, and we're not doing badly when it comes to money, nothing incredible, but safe and stable. I'm not sure if they'd let me leech indefinitely, I never brought it up with them, since I'm only going to become a NEET now, and I don't know how to tell them, I don't know what to expect, I just know that I'm scared, and depending on their reaction it could be the push that will drive me to use my SN and finally kill myself.

>>251125
>>251131
you seem to be neurotic and that's not gonna help you when you become a NEET. Parents will never approve of their sons becoming neets, and you sound like you hate not being perfect, a neet is a disappointment for the parents and far from a model son. I'm sure there's some help for you. First you must discuss this with your parents, tell them what troubles you, and seek some help for your neuroticism. Whatever the outcome, take some time to relax.

>>251133
I don't know if I deserve the time to relax, that's pretty much all I do now, I've been doing nothing but procrastinating my obligations for years, and at some it caught up to me, relaxing is the last thing I need, and the one thing I don't deserve. I wouldn't say that it's a hate towards not being perfect, it's mosly a hate towards not even managing to be mediocre, I'm the worst. When you say neuroticism, what do you mean exactly? Like, am I mentally ill in some way?

>>251134
If you are going to compare yourself to others constantly and be a NEET you are gonna have a bad time. You don't know the freedom that is gained from giving up on the idea that life is some type of race and everyone is running on the same track.

You either decide after having read this reply to either
1. Go back to college or work
2. Nothing- AKA become a NEET and have self created demons hound you constantly
3. Think about what I and others have said and try to adjust your perspective.

>>251135
I wanna start out by thanking you for taking the time to try helping me.

I know I shouldn't compare myself to others, but it's like my mind has been programmed like this, life has always been about competition, it's been hammered into my head from a young age, it's hard getting past that. We compete in entrance exams, we compete in job interviews, we even compete in hobbies, like sports. It feels like in life there's always a winner and a loser.

Also, I feel that my main problem isn't even the comparasion, it's mostly that I fear my parents resenting me and looking down on me, seeing me as a failure and dissapointment, pretty much everything I've ever done was to make them proud, to turn out a dissapointment would mean that my whole life was a waste. Now, regarding the 3 options you've mentioned, this is how I feel:

1. I can't go back to college or work, I really can't, just don't have it in me anymore.
2. Probably what I'll end up doing, it's not pleasent, but better than the previous one.
3. What should I try to adjust exactly? I feel like I might not be getting something obvious, but I really am kind of dumb so that doesn't surprise me much. How should I see things? What am I doing wrong and what should I strive for in life if I don't like anything?

>>251134
>relaxing is the last thing I need, and the one thing I don't deserve. I wouldn't say that it's a hate towards not being perfect, it's mosly a hate towards not even managing to be mediocre, I'm the worst. When you say neuroticism, what do you mean exactly? Like, am I mentally ill in some way?
Mediocre, relative to what? Why is relaxation something you either deserve or don't deserve? This isn't mental illness, but your values–or rather, the values you're surrounded by. In Go, the difference between your stones being surrounded and surrounding the other player's stones can change in a moment.

>>251136
I think you should start examining the thoughts you have and investigating why you think what you think and if what you are thinking appears valid and worth integrating into your whole. upon examining everything as much as you can work towards actually changing that part of you that spawns these thoughts and holds these ideals which are underneath the conscious control either because they are deep rooted in the subconscious or simply automated patterns of thought.

It is not easy to change a perspective but as hard as it is, it is effortless because we can only ever guide ourselves blindly hoping to stumble upon the path and we nearly never actively steer the direction of the ship.
You need to be your own biggest cynic.

The good news is that you have a potential lead and that is your parents. I cannot give advice n whether it is a good idea to talk to them about how you feel or not but you know that answer. What I am about to say in no way invalidates way invalidates the experiences of wizards with anxiety since I know myself how debilitating it can be but if anxiety is the only thing stopping some heart to heart with your parents you need to try push past it and if you cannot do that there are other ways to share your feelings such as email or a letter.
>what should I strive for in life if I don't like anything?
I can't tell you the answer however I can tell you something that helps. You need to avoid being a closed circuit which is extremely easy as a NEET let alone a depressed and stressed NEET. You need experience in order to manifest change and plant the seed for a potential passion or whatever it is. This applies to altering perspective also. Do not misconstrue this as some suggestion to go partying not that it really matters at the end of the day.
My point is that it can be anything including the mental.

I may be mentally fucked NEET that wishes they could vanish but I find such solace in the face of disaster because I have been fortunate enough to question myself and develop a philosophy that exists not as some systemized attempt at understanding the world but a way to live within the gay ass world.

>>251137
Mediocre relative to what's expected of me, from my parents and peers.

I feel like relaxing is something I have to earn for myself by putting in the work, if I just don't do anything that takes any effort all day long and decide that I want to relax then I'm just looked down on as a lazy and pathetic person by everyone else and I don't want that. I don't really feel that relaxation is something that has to be earned by everyone, anyone can relax whenever they feel tired and that's ok, it's healthy to take a break if you're tired, but I don't feel that this counts for me because nowadays all I do is relax, and yet I'm still tired all of the time, I just don't feel legit and deserving of anything good I guess.

>>251138
I examine and investigate my thoughts all of the time, but never really get anywhere, no conclusions, at least not any helpful ones. I might need therapy, I don't know. Regarding my parents, I can't stand the idea of opening up to them about anything at all, mostly because I hate venting in general, and only do it here because it's anonymous, but in real life I always feel worse after doing so, it's never helped me, ever. Also, I feel ashamed, my parents are good parents and they work hard for me, and they always tell me I have an easy life whenever I complain about things, about how their lives are worse than mine and they envy me because I've been staying home all of the time. I feel ashamed to complain about life with them because it makes me seem ungrateful, because my problems don't feel real, and I also fear being shamed by them, even mocked.

>>251139
Is there a necessary connection between tiredness and relaxation? I think we have that prejudice because we sleep after we become tired, but relaxation is distinct from sleep.

Our organs are silent when they are satiated, and make themselves known when they are agitated. Therefore, taking it easy is the natural state of satiation, and buzzing in agitation is a state of hunger. Much work today is like the buzzing of wasps in an overheated hive, and yet everyone remains hungry. What actually feeds our spirits has been relegated to a luxury activity due to the focus on production, yet the more we produce the less of real value to us is actually made.

>>251146
I think you're right, but how are we supposed to cope with judgement? In this case judgement from family and/or our peers? How can one deal with others perceiving them as and/or calling them lazy?

>>251147
When we say we want to deal or cope with something I feel like that's already a defeat, it's a defensive way of thinking.

When you wrote you feel ashamed for complaining as it may seem ungrateful for instance, to me it is less a matter of shame than honor. In sparing dishonor for others you become the author of your own shame, and avoid the lowly pitying and moralizing that often accompanies ideas of shame. That is a more affirmative way of looking at your duty to your family. Similarly, those who always put others to shame disgrace themselves in their duty to humanity: to cultivate a more courageous way of life free from guilt.