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When did it all go to hell for you?
I think for me it was at age 14 when I realized I am not neurotypical and it is going to be all downhill from there.
I was only happy and able to enjoy life between ages 3-13.
I think for me it was at age 14 when I realized I am not neurotypical and it is going to be all downhill from there.
I was only happy and able to enjoy life between ages 3-13.
>>250716
could never relate to this image or the idea of it.
I am one of the lucky ones who was doomed from the start and miserable for as long as he can remember.
could never relate to this image or the idea of it.
I am one of the lucky ones who was doomed from the start and miserable for as long as he can remember.
>>250722
same, I recall dreading my future as far back as 5th grade because I knew it wouldn't work out
same, I recall dreading my future as far back as 5th grade because I knew it wouldn't work out
Same. When my peers started to worry about relationships/hookups and careers I realized that I would always be an alien to society, i was doomed.
Being a non-NT is a death sentence (especially if you live in Brazil).
Being a non-NT is a death sentence (especially if you live in Brazil).
>>250724
Brazil is arguably the worst planet on Earth to be non-NT, since 99% of the population are hyper NT apes
Brazil is arguably the worst planet on Earth to be non-NT, since 99% of the population are hyper NT apes
>>250726
In sydney/australia even high functioning, social NT people cant afford to live on their own. At least in brazil it is cheap enough that you can just do some shit online and be able to rent an apartment
In sydney/australia even high functioning, social NT people cant afford to live on their own. At least in brazil it is cheap enough that you can just do some shit online and be able to rent an apartment
>>250731
it is physically impossible to live a comfortable life in australia as a non-nt
the average aussie is an utter violent, trashy, loud ape
not just the bogans, its everyone, they all shout, get drunk and punch each other from ages 12-30 until they have kids then it repeats all over
though what else could have happened as this is after all a british overseas penal colony where they sent the lowest iq thieves, rapists, and murderers
it is physically impossible to live a comfortable life in australia as a non-nt
the average aussie is an utter violent, trashy, loud ape
not just the bogans, its everyone, they all shout, get drunk and punch each other from ages 12-30 until they have kids then it repeats all over
though what else could have happened as this is after all a british overseas penal colony where they sent the lowest iq thieves, rapists, and murderers
I think it was when I started going to university, before that my life was easy as fuck, watching anime and playing vidya, my biggest worry was to get some money to buy xbox games.
When I got into university it was like a reality slap for me, everyone there was much better than me, I was (and still am) so behind everyone else, it's like they all got some kind of magic life cheat in life except me, now even the autistic fat guy that used to be a walmart cashier when we were classmates has a very good job while I'm a 26 y/o NEET with a useless degree.
I wish I could go back to not giving a single fuck about everything, that's fine when you're 16, but 10 years later you're supposed to be a successful adult with tons of money, a romantic partner and kids, and I just can't do that, the world isn't designed for people like us, that's why it hurts so much to be alive.
When I got into university it was like a reality slap for me, everyone there was much better than me, I was (and still am) so behind everyone else, it's like they all got some kind of magic life cheat in life except me, now even the autistic fat guy that used to be a walmart cashier when we were classmates has a very good job while I'm a 26 y/o NEET with a useless degree.
I wish I could go back to not giving a single fuck about everything, that's fine when you're 16, but 10 years later you're supposed to be a successful adult with tons of money, a romantic partner and kids, and I just can't do that, the world isn't designed for people like us, that's why it hurts so much to be alive.
>>250743
There's no SSI where I live, unfortunately not everyone can get bucks from daddy state, even in the west.
There's no SSI where I live, unfortunately not everyone can get bucks from daddy state, even in the west.
>>250726
Every time I go out there is always someone talking loudly or laughing like an idiot. And they always talk about the same subjects: soccer, beer and sex.
God, please get me out of this country.
Every time I go out there is always someone talking loudly or laughing like an idiot. And they always talk about the same subjects: soccer, beer and sex.
God, please get me out of this country.
>>250731
I don't know what Australia is like, but Brazil is definitely not a cheap place to live (unless your salary is in dollars).
The monthly salary here is 196 dollars and a 1 bedroom apartment costs at least 90 dollars.
I don't know what Australia is like, but Brazil is definitely not a cheap place to live (unless your salary is in dollars).
The monthly salary here is 196 dollars and a 1 bedroom apartment costs at least 90 dollars.
>>250746
I don't understand how it's possible to endure 80-100 years of being around those people.
It's literally being trapped in hell.
I don't understand how it's possible to endure 80-100 years of being around those people.
It's literally being trapped in hell.
>>250716
Since the day I was born, but it got worst when I reached puberty and my acne started to ruin my confidence, that's when the hardcore bullying started and it all went downhill from there.
Since the day I was born, but it got worst when I reached puberty and my acne started to ruin my confidence, that's when the hardcore bullying started and it all went downhill from there.
>>250746
Replace soccer with hockey, and you have Canada. Also add drama that these humanoids will forget by the next week
Replace soccer with hockey, and you have Canada. Also add drama that these humanoids will forget by the next week
>>250726
It's the same everywhere in Latin America. Latinos are always so fucking loud and obnoxious. They talk about the same shit everyday like the souless NPCs they are: Soccer, alcohol, succubi etc. At least anglosaxons and germanoids tend to mind their own bussines and respect personal boundaries, but people here are just shamelessly nosy and they are always so touchy, for example it is a custom to greet a succubus with a kiss on the cheek and people greet you with hugs even when they don't know you, I always hated that, covid was a godsend against that bullshit.
It's the same everywhere in Latin America. Latinos are always so fucking loud and obnoxious. They talk about the same shit everyday like the souless NPCs they are: Soccer, alcohol, succubi etc. At least anglosaxons and germanoids tend to mind their own bussines and respect personal boundaries, but people here are just shamelessly nosy and they are always so touchy, for example it is a custom to greet a succubus with a kiss on the cheek and people greet you with hugs even when they don't know you, I always hated that, covid was a godsend against that bullshit.
>>250773
Then imagine my pain growing up in Latin America when I'm not nt, it was literally like being on a foreign planet as a visitor or tourist.
I am utterly and completely detached from the people surrounding me, I don't understand them and they don't understand me.
Though English is my 3rd language I also find it easier and more nuanced to communicate in than my native languages.
Then imagine my pain growing up in Latin America when I'm not nt, it was literally like being on a foreign planet as a visitor or tourist.
I am utterly and completely detached from the people surrounding me, I don't understand them and they don't understand me.
Though English is my 3rd language I also find it easier and more nuanced to communicate in than my native languages.
>>250777
I don't have to imagine it, I live in Central America, so I know what your talking about.
I don't have to imagine it, I live in Central America, so I know what your talking about.
>>250773
>everywhere in Latin America is the same as Brazil
Not every latin american country is a mulatto and trirracial land like Brazil. The ethnic demographic of Uruguay, Argentina, Chile, Peru, Bolivia, Paraguay, are radically different from Brazil.
>everywhere in Latin America is the same as Brazil
Not every latin american country is a mulatto and trirracial land like Brazil. The ethnic demographic of Uruguay, Argentina, Chile, Peru, Bolivia, Paraguay, are radically different from Brazil.
>>250716
When I realized I live in a shithole and getting out is next to impossible. Even going to a bigger city inside the country is a task that most people fail at not to mention getting out of the country. I have no special skills, no relevant education and I'm poor and my family is poor. So I shut myself in and the internet is my only friend. And even on the internet I'm constantly being reminded that life is better somewhere while I'm doomed to suffer. So I'm stuck between people I can't relate to IRL and people online who don't care about me.
When I realized I live in a shithole and getting out is next to impossible. Even going to a bigger city inside the country is a task that most people fail at not to mention getting out of the country. I have no special skills, no relevant education and I'm poor and my family is poor. So I shut myself in and the internet is my only friend. And even on the internet I'm constantly being reminded that life is better somewhere while I'm doomed to suffer. So I'm stuck between people I can't relate to IRL and people online who don't care about me.
20 or 21.
I had moved away from home to university, I had some money from student loans, I did freelance programming work, and I'd spent multiple years full speed trying to fix my depression. I tried being a norman and pushing past my comfort zones, I'd done all the self improvement, philosophy, and psychology, and medication. Nothing was working, it wasn't my home environment causing this, this new stage of my life wasn't actually different at all. I realised this experience of broken moods and emotions would continue forever. And so it continued for the next decade.
I'd been unhappy, suicidal, and depressed since I was 13. I was a neurotic anxious mess since childhood. That is when I fully lost hope though and left me waiting for death.
I had moved away from home to university, I had some money from student loans, I did freelance programming work, and I'd spent multiple years full speed trying to fix my depression. I tried being a norman and pushing past my comfort zones, I'd done all the self improvement, philosophy, and psychology, and medication. Nothing was working, it wasn't my home environment causing this, this new stage of my life wasn't actually different at all. I realised this experience of broken moods and emotions would continue forever. And so it continued for the next decade.
I'd been unhappy, suicidal, and depressed since I was 13. I was a neurotic anxious mess since childhood. That is when I fully lost hope though and left me waiting for death.
Age 8 they singled me out and started drugging me. I only drifted away from everyone else in that span of time. 20 years later it hasn't gotten better.
>>250742
>but 10 years later you're supposed to be a successful adult with tons of money, a romantic partner and kids,
thats ridiculous. You're not supposed to be anything other then who you are
>>250742
>the world isn't designed for people like us,
who cares. You need to stop caring so much about the world (in this sense) everybody knows its a mess
>but 10 years later you're supposed to be a successful adult with tons of money, a romantic partner and kids,
thats ridiculous. You're not supposed to be anything other then who you are
>>250742
>the world isn't designed for people like us,
who cares. You need to stop caring so much about the world (in this sense) everybody knows its a mess
>>250747
>The monthly salary here is 196 dollars and a 1 bedroom apartment costs at least 90 dollars.
Then you can easily survive just by spending a month learning python and doing university homework on freelancer websites
>The monthly salary here is 196 dollars and a 1 bedroom apartment costs at least 90 dollars.
Then you can easily survive just by spending a month learning python and doing university homework on freelancer websites
I’m a loser from birth as a genetic mutant with bad genes.But everything went really worse at age 10 for multiple reasons.
>>250716
The day when i had to get a job. I always knew i was a total outcast and i ws fine as long as i didnt have to work or socialize. the day i realized i had to work i became severelly depressed and never recovered
The day when i had to get a job. I always knew i was a total outcast and i ws fine as long as i didnt have to work or socialize. the day i realized i had to work i became severelly depressed and never recovered
>>250798
This but 11. As soon as they started drugging me for being upset about being abused it all went to hell.
Unnecessary drugs -> weight gain side effects I was too young to control -> peer rejection -> fucked.
I hope that someday anyone that’s given psychoactive medication to children will be hung, but I know that really it’s soft eugenics and will never be punished. The intended result is that the “patient” kills themselves or gets incarcerated before 18. If they manage to escape that they don’t care what happens.
This but 11. As soon as they started drugging me for being upset about being abused it all went to hell.
Unnecessary drugs -> weight gain side effects I was too young to control -> peer rejection -> fucked.
I hope that someday anyone that’s given psychoactive medication to children will be hung, but I know that really it’s soft eugenics and will never be punished. The intended result is that the “patient” kills themselves or gets incarcerated before 18. If they manage to escape that they don’t care what happens.
>>250716
Puberty, suddenly pecking orders formed and the autistic and ugly people like me were bottom of the barrel.
Puberty, suddenly pecking orders formed and the autistic and ugly people like me were bottom of the barrel.
>>251012
I've tried to explain this to psychiatrists, therapists, my parents and random normalfags on the internet and am met with utter confusion every time.
I've tried to explain this to psychiatrists, therapists, my parents and random normalfags on the internet and am met with utter confusion every time.
i think the first time someone humiliated me was third grade, by my old bitch teacher. in fact all the times i can remember being embarrassed were perpetrated by teachers. you dont even have to butt heads with them to cause it. they get a whiff of your autism and they will make an example out of you. there are a lot of people that have no business being in education save for their patience and self-control are on par with school kids and these people think they deserve big salary hikes for their glorified babysitting service. there were a few teachers i really liked, plenty i dont really have anything negative to say about, but there are some that i hope had or will have miserable exits.
>>251023
i have several events and moments that traumatised me through school, and every one of them was a teacher. Other kids werent that bad, just the fucking teachers were bullies.
i have several events and moments that traumatised me through school, and every one of them was a teacher. Other kids werent that bad, just the fucking teachers were bullies.
>>250742
i miss being 16. i remember i hated life so passionately, and i could do it because i had no responsibilities. but now i am forced to work and be a part of this dogshit system and you cant just reject all of it because then you will go homeless
i miss being 16. i remember i hated life so passionately, and i could do it because i had no responsibilities. but now i am forced to work and be a part of this dogshit system and you cant just reject all of it because then you will go homeless
By the age of 12 to 13, I realized I was a non-NT and was totally cool about it. "Alright, fuck these apes I'm gonna spend my days watching anime and jerking off".
Then when I was 16 depression finally hit after enduring psychological and physical abuse from family and externals curses since the day I was fucking born. From that on, my mind went downhill and there hasn't a been single day that I haven't wished for death. I'm also from Brazil, and can agree with >>250724.
But I guess a wiz will suffer anywhere with a considerably population density. We're not made for this planet.
Then when I was 16 depression finally hit after enduring psychological and physical abuse from family and externals curses since the day I was fucking born. From that on, my mind went downhill and there hasn't a been single day that I haven't wished for death. I'm also from Brazil, and can agree with >>250724.
But I guess a wiz will suffer anywhere with a considerably population density. We're not made for this planet.
>>251012
Same. But for me all of my 'friends' at the time started getting laid and suddenly had no problem interacting with others and integrating into society just fine. Then they started bullying me like everyone else too.
Same. But for me all of my 'friends' at the time started getting laid and suddenly had no problem interacting with others and integrating into society just fine. Then they started bullying me like everyone else too.
>>251159
>Alright, fuck these apes I'm gonna spend my days watching anime and jerking off
The irony is palpable
>Alright, fuck these apes I'm gonna spend my days watching anime and jerking off
The irony is palpable
>>251332
Even the nerdy ones I used to hang around with all moved on and had no trouble with succubi.
Even the nerdy ones I used to hang around with all moved on and had no trouble with succubi.
Ghosted all of my "friends" since there was no functional gain from interacting with them anymore.
is the tru wiz way
is the tru wiz way
>>251457
suddenly its normalfag not to have any friends?
why would I interact with people if I derived no value from doing so? I don't feel any compulsion to be near others and only communicate online from sheer boredom.
suddenly its normalfag not to have any friends?
why would I interact with people if I derived no value from doing so? I don't feel any compulsion to be near others and only communicate online from sheer boredom.
>>251465
Eh, this isn't a hikikomori board. Wizards absolutely can have friends, especially online friends.
Eh, this isn't a hikikomori board. Wizards absolutely can have friends, especially online friends.
>>250716
I believe Year 4, when I was ten. I went from top of my class the year prior to failing classes in Y4. I don't know what happened but I believe I matured and developed issues such as anxiety at that time.
I believe Year 4, when I was ten. I went from top of my class the year prior to failing classes in Y4. I don't know what happened but I believe I matured and developed issues such as anxiety at that time.
>>251023
This event didn't traumatize me, it's just one of the few things I remember of a teacher being a dick.
In 3rd grade we were asked to write about our lives: past, today and future. For the 'today' section I wrote "Today, Kieran bullied me".
The old hag said "I meant today as in present, not literally today. And Kieran bullies everyone. Go sit down."
This event didn't traumatize me, it's just one of the few things I remember of a teacher being a dick.
In 3rd grade we were asked to write about our lives: past, today and future. For the 'today' section I wrote "Today, Kieran bullied me".
The old hag said "I meant today as in present, not literally today. And Kieran bullies everyone. Go sit down."
>>251487
not trying to shit on you or anything like that but is this what people consider traumatizing? My bullying led me to the path of embracing myself to the point it demanded respect from normalfags.
not trying to shit on you or anything like that but is this what people consider traumatizing? My bullying led me to the path of embracing myself to the point it demanded respect from normalfags.
>>251489
>is this what people consider traumatizing?
first 5 words of his post:
"This event didn't traumatize me"
>is this what people consider traumatizing?
first 5 words of his post:
"This event didn't traumatize me"
>>250716
9th grade. I don't remember how old I was and can't be bothered figuring it out.
I was a pretty happy kid during and before 6th grade. I was always weird and spacy and never made any friends, but I was perfectly happy to just sit and daydream all day by myself. 7th and 8th grades I was starting to have some anxiety but nothing too bad.
The transition to high school was when everything hit the fan. I started having worse and worse anxiety until I was struggling to even enter the school, one of my classes was so scary to me I had to throw up almost every day before I went to it, eventually I got depressed because of how much pressure all the anxiety was putting on me. I made it to the beginning of 11th grade before I dropped out.
I never really recovered from that. I'm still an extremely anxious person. The depressive episodes come and go but I don't feel like I've ever gotten back to the same baseline I was at when I was a child. Every time a depressive episode goes away "normal" is a little bit flatter than it was before.
9th grade. I don't remember how old I was and can't be bothered figuring it out.
I was a pretty happy kid during and before 6th grade. I was always weird and spacy and never made any friends, but I was perfectly happy to just sit and daydream all day by myself. 7th and 8th grades I was starting to have some anxiety but nothing too bad.
The transition to high school was when everything hit the fan. I started having worse and worse anxiety until I was struggling to even enter the school, one of my classes was so scary to me I had to throw up almost every day before I went to it, eventually I got depressed because of how much pressure all the anxiety was putting on me. I made it to the beginning of 11th grade before I dropped out.
I never really recovered from that. I'm still an extremely anxious person. The depressive episodes come and go but I don't feel like I've ever gotten back to the same baseline I was at when I was a child. Every time a depressive episode goes away "normal" is a little bit flatter than it was before.
Birth, my family was doomed to fail sooner or later.
For me personally, birth of my younger brother. I was a teenager at the time, and turns out succubi shouldn't have children in their 40's after all.
For me personally, birth of my younger brother. I was a teenager at the time, and turns out succubi shouldn't have children in their 40's after all.
I like being autistic but I wish I wasn’t handicapped by other retarded mental health issues.