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Hello wizards, 29 y/o apprentice here. I've been meaning to write here from time to time but never got myself enough will to do it. I've never had proper friends before, childhood, teenager times and even university memories does nothing but give me bad memories of how things ended with people. On the other hand I got to talk people online but even then I am rather sick and tired of making the first move. It's either people are busy with their lives or don't care. It's almost as if there is something prevents others to talk with me for a change. I try my best to keep autism away but nothing ever changes. And this alone drives me crazy.
Aside from that I'm already depressed and been taking antidepressants since 2017. I live in a shit country, my parents, especially my mother gives us hell at home. I've graduated from translation but I can't get to work at where I live thanks to being a shit country and shitty conditions. I'm being pressured to do things as I have no drive to do anything. Call me lazy but I usually have no will to do anything at all. I want to learn about drawing and 3D modelling and hell even study Japanese so that at least I'd get more chances but I never got myself worked up to make an effort to learn those. If I manage to do it, I can't keep up more than 3 days and I immediately lose interest and roll back to square one. Clock is ticking and the only thing I want is killing myself, but then again I'm too afraid and too lazy to do it. What should I do?
Aside from that I'm already depressed and been taking antidepressants since 2017. I live in a shit country, my parents, especially my mother gives us hell at home. I've graduated from translation but I can't get to work at where I live thanks to being a shit country and shitty conditions. I'm being pressured to do things as I have no drive to do anything. Call me lazy but I usually have no will to do anything at all. I want to learn about drawing and 3D modelling and hell even study Japanese so that at least I'd get more chances but I never got myself worked up to make an effort to learn those. If I manage to do it, I can't keep up more than 3 days and I immediately lose interest and roll back to square one. Clock is ticking and the only thing I want is killing myself, but then again I'm too afraid and too lazy to do it. What should I do?
>>255057
Why do you assume that nothing will change, 1 year is alot of time while most deaths are from people above the age of 65
Why do you assume that nothing will change, 1 year is alot of time while most deaths are from people above the age of 65
>>255065
There’s nothing else to it. I can’t make OP commit to things, only OP can. And there isn’t really any kind of trick to it, either you can do it or you can’t. I can tell him to try using stimulants but drug reactions vary wildly from person to person. Same with antidepressants, or even just goal setting and scheduling. I don’t think OP even knows what he wants, does he want friends and social interaction? Does he want to achieve a degree or good job? He said he has no interest in these things but at the same time he lists them as reasons he feels like shit. He isn’t even motivated to pursue his own interests/hobbies.
OP I would try to meditate or reflect deeply on how YOU feel and on what YOU want, and why YOU seem unable to pursue these things that YOU have set for yourself. These are not easy questions, and they don’t come with easy answers. But nothing will ever change if you don’t decide what needs changing.
There’s nothing else to it. I can’t make OP commit to things, only OP can. And there isn’t really any kind of trick to it, either you can do it or you can’t. I can tell him to try using stimulants but drug reactions vary wildly from person to person. Same with antidepressants, or even just goal setting and scheduling. I don’t think OP even knows what he wants, does he want friends and social interaction? Does he want to achieve a degree or good job? He said he has no interest in these things but at the same time he lists them as reasons he feels like shit. He isn’t even motivated to pursue his own interests/hobbies.
OP I would try to meditate or reflect deeply on how YOU feel and on what YOU want, and why YOU seem unable to pursue these things that YOU have set for yourself. These are not easy questions, and they don’t come with easy answers. But nothing will ever change if you don’t decide what needs changing.
>[My life is shit.] What should I do?
Figure how to stop being a little bitch and do what you need to do to have the kind of life you want, one obstacle at a time. Depression, anxiety, mental problems in general are just another obstacle that you can circumvent. Mom and dad giving you shit? Deal with it, move out, appease them, tongue their boomer assholes until they're nice and clean and they're off your back. Unemployed? Do some research and figure out what people are willing to pay you to do and take into account if you're capable of doing it for sustained periods of time. Overwhelmed? Break it down into manageable chunks, you got a whole lifetime. No purpose? Figure out what would make you happy, the kind of shit that would make you say "hmph, that shit was worth it", the kind of happy that makes your ball hairs stand up…and aim for it with conviction as your highest good.
Figure how to stop being a little bitch and do what you need to do to have the kind of life you want, one obstacle at a time. Depression, anxiety, mental problems in general are just another obstacle that you can circumvent. Mom and dad giving you shit? Deal with it, move out, appease them, tongue their boomer assholes until they're nice and clean and they're off your back. Unemployed? Do some research and figure out what people are willing to pay you to do and take into account if you're capable of doing it for sustained periods of time. Overwhelmed? Break it down into manageable chunks, you got a whole lifetime. No purpose? Figure out what would make you happy, the kind of shit that would make you say "hmph, that shit was worth it", the kind of happy that makes your ball hairs stand up…and aim for it with conviction as your highest good.
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>>255057
Maybe this can help
Maybe this can help
>>255080
>but for some reason few people have discussed a drastic proposal like that
self help and improvebrah drivel have never been discussed, thank heavens the messiah has come
>but for some reason few people have discussed a drastic proposal like that
self help and improvebrah drivel have never been discussed, thank heavens the messiah has come
>>255057
Just concentrate on what can go from bad to worse. Stop chasing people, for the sake of your own mental health
Just concentrate on what can go from bad to worse. Stop chasing people, for the sake of your own mental health
>>255080
I enjoy reading stuff like this, especially when someone claims they have a novel idea or theory. But this sounds pretty much like a rehash of "dopamine fast" crap, this meme idea that abstaining from everything you enjoy will somehow "reset" your brain, clean it from toxins and make you a productive drone, willing to do today what you weren't willing yesterday.
Ignoring all the biological reductionism which the author himself probably barely understands, there's one fundamental problem with this approach. Just consider this, after 7 days of basically being isolated from all enjoyable stimuli, do you really think you would forget how fun video games were? How enjoyable your faps or junk food were? Those memories are still there, your reasons for doing things are still there, nothing has changed. If you remove all the "cues" from your environment, this leads to an extinction effect in behaviorism terms, but your learning never goes away, it just waits for the environment to change again and it gets re-activated. And you can't eliminate these cues forever, unless you can completely engineer your environment down to every detail, which isn't practical in any real sense (or desirable…who wants to live on a desert island where only your homework exists lol).
My advice when it comes to these matters: ignore every approach that doesn't rely on reaching some kind of genuine self-insight, doesn't require self-observation of your mental and behavior processes and relies on pseudo-magical elements that you can't pinpoint in your direct experience, even if it sounds super scientific ("you gotta wait for the neurons to reset bro"). You can quickly eliminate most shit with this basic heuristic. Taking fish oil and vitamins leading to an increase in productivity, no different than drinking a magical potion that gives you luck or makes someone fall in love with you.
I enjoy reading stuff like this, especially when someone claims they have a novel idea or theory. But this sounds pretty much like a rehash of "dopamine fast" crap, this meme idea that abstaining from everything you enjoy will somehow "reset" your brain, clean it from toxins and make you a productive drone, willing to do today what you weren't willing yesterday.
Ignoring all the biological reductionism which the author himself probably barely understands, there's one fundamental problem with this approach. Just consider this, after 7 days of basically being isolated from all enjoyable stimuli, do you really think you would forget how fun video games were? How enjoyable your faps or junk food were? Those memories are still there, your reasons for doing things are still there, nothing has changed. If you remove all the "cues" from your environment, this leads to an extinction effect in behaviorism terms, but your learning never goes away, it just waits for the environment to change again and it gets re-activated. And you can't eliminate these cues forever, unless you can completely engineer your environment down to every detail, which isn't practical in any real sense (or desirable…who wants to live on a desert island where only your homework exists lol).
My advice when it comes to these matters: ignore every approach that doesn't rely on reaching some kind of genuine self-insight, doesn't require self-observation of your mental and behavior processes and relies on pseudo-magical elements that you can't pinpoint in your direct experience, even if it sounds super scientific ("you gotta wait for the neurons to reset bro"). You can quickly eliminate most shit with this basic heuristic. Taking fish oil and vitamins leading to an increase in productivity, no different than drinking a magical potion that gives you luck or makes someone fall in love with you.
>>255096
I think these “dopamine fast” approaches do in fact work. Not because of any reason they actually claim, but just for the fact that it requires you to majorly alter your behavior for a somewhat extended time. If you’re stuck in your ways, then forcing yourself to stop will give you that opening where change can begin to happen. Obviously you can just relapse but you’ll never change if you don’t make space for it to occur.
I think these “dopamine fast” approaches do in fact work. Not because of any reason they actually claim, but just for the fact that it requires you to majorly alter your behavior for a somewhat extended time. If you’re stuck in your ways, then forcing yourself to stop will give you that opening where change can begin to happen. Obviously you can just relapse but you’ll never change if you don’t make space for it to occur.
>>255077
People think depression is the same as being "sad and mopey". A character defect caused by lifestyle and easily solved by positive change. It's really something more like schizophrenia or MS. A permanent malfunction in the structure of the brain. You wouldn't tell the schizo to stop screaming at the voices in the walls or the MS guy to stop acting like a spastic, you wouldn't tell the guy with no legs to take a hike or ask the guy with no arms why he doesn't wear those nice gloves you gave him. You don't know what depression is so you can only advise from your own frame of reference.
People think depression is the same as being "sad and mopey". A character defect caused by lifestyle and easily solved by positive change. It's really something more like schizophrenia or MS. A permanent malfunction in the structure of the brain. You wouldn't tell the schizo to stop screaming at the voices in the walls or the MS guy to stop acting like a spastic, you wouldn't tell the guy with no legs to take a hike or ask the guy with no arms why he doesn't wear those nice gloves you gave him. You don't know what depression is so you can only advise from your own frame of reference.
>>255070
I know there's nothing else he can do.
But also, don't you think him and millions of other people in his position haven't been told that?
It's also pretty obvious that millions of those will never be able to do make drastic or even noticable change like that.
I know self actuation is important and all but some people are just FUCKED and there's that.
You can see that movie play out and end in the same way. You can see the pattern.
I know there's nothing else he can do.
But also, don't you think him and millions of other people in his position haven't been told that?
It's also pretty obvious that millions of those will never be able to do make drastic or even noticable change like that.
I know self actuation is important and all but some people are just FUCKED and there's that.
You can see that movie play out and end in the same way. You can see the pattern.
>>255057
>What should I do?
with regards to what?
>It's either people are busy with their lives or don't care
it's true, especially at our age. I remember being 16 and having a massive circle of online friends, despite already being a wizkid. they were all ready to talk and play at any times, and over the years, they started disappearing or talking less, and I made fewer and fewer friends.
>I can't keep up more than 3 days
if you can't keep it up for that long then you don't truly want to do it. you want to KNOW japanese, but you don't want to work hard and learn it, even if you want to want to learn, if that makes sense. try to make smaller goals.
>What should I do?
with regards to what?
>It's either people are busy with their lives or don't care
it's true, especially at our age. I remember being 16 and having a massive circle of online friends, despite already being a wizkid. they were all ready to talk and play at any times, and over the years, they started disappearing or talking less, and I made fewer and fewer friends.
>I can't keep up more than 3 days
if you can't keep it up for that long then you don't truly want to do it. you want to KNOW japanese, but you don't want to work hard and learn it, even if you want to want to learn, if that makes sense. try to make smaller goals.
>>255139
What's the point in just deciding you're fucked and that's that? Nothing will ever change if he doesn't try. If OP has decided he's given up he wouldn't have come here asking what to do.
What's the point in just deciding you're fucked and that's that? Nothing will ever change if he doesn't try. If OP has decided he's given up he wouldn't have come here asking what to do.
>>255136
I've been depressed for 20 years man. I've tried everything. You're a poopy doodoohead.
I've been depressed for 20 years man. I've tried everything. You're a poopy doodoohead.
>>255142
I've never said anything about giving up.
To keep going is nice, it's the spice of life.
But normgroids like you need to stop promising people that will yeald any great results.
I've never said anything about giving up.
To keep going is nice, it's the spice of life.
But normgroids like you need to stop promising people that will yeald any great results.
>>255121
You lack self-awareness. Probably what you are calling "depression" is some mixture of difficult negative emotions caused by circumstances and an unwillingness to deal with hardship. It makes you feel better to mystify it all as some incurable brain disease because you relinquish control and responsibility and successfully demotivate any part of you that wants to take action. Depression as a state of mind is always self-inflicted, it's always preferable to its alternative. Rather than feel pained by a missed opportunity, you simply never had a chance to begin with. Rather than deal with uncertainty, the possibility of failure, you can cut those difficult emotions at their legs by seeing no possibility for action ever. Oh well, guess it's really all hopeless, with just a hint of a smile at the end of your mouth. You'd be a fool not to see the sickly enjoyment present in "depressed" individuals, the glee with which they write their meditations on meaninglessness, futility and self-assuredness of their own demise.
>>255147
There's no substitute for self-awareness. If you don't understand your condition in the first place, it's unlikely you'll able to overcome it. Your first mistake is conceptualizing it as a brain disease. Start observing yourself and differentiating between what emotions you feel and the subtle internal actions you take, only then will you see your own complicit hand in the illusion, how before each settling into a defeatist attitude, there comes something painful that pushes it into that spot. Depression is your solution for hardship, a bad one all things considered, but one that offers some semblance of relief.
You lack self-awareness. Probably what you are calling "depression" is some mixture of difficult negative emotions caused by circumstances and an unwillingness to deal with hardship. It makes you feel better to mystify it all as some incurable brain disease because you relinquish control and responsibility and successfully demotivate any part of you that wants to take action. Depression as a state of mind is always self-inflicted, it's always preferable to its alternative. Rather than feel pained by a missed opportunity, you simply never had a chance to begin with. Rather than deal with uncertainty, the possibility of failure, you can cut those difficult emotions at their legs by seeing no possibility for action ever. Oh well, guess it's really all hopeless, with just a hint of a smile at the end of your mouth. You'd be a fool not to see the sickly enjoyment present in "depressed" individuals, the glee with which they write their meditations on meaninglessness, futility and self-assuredness of their own demise.
>>255147
There's no substitute for self-awareness. If you don't understand your condition in the first place, it's unlikely you'll able to overcome it. Your first mistake is conceptualizing it as a brain disease. Start observing yourself and differentiating between what emotions you feel and the subtle internal actions you take, only then will you see your own complicit hand in the illusion, how before each settling into a defeatist attitude, there comes something painful that pushes it into that spot. Depression is your solution for hardship, a bad one all things considered, but one that offers some semblance of relief.
>>255158
I don't believe it's a brain disease but ur also a retard if you actually believe depressed people take enjoyment from being depressed.
In fact, the first time i went from depressed to depressed, I immediately stopped deriving any comfort or pleasure from my situation, idleness etc.
I don't believe it's a brain disease but ur also a retard if you actually believe depressed people take enjoyment from being depressed.
In fact, the first time i went from depressed to depressed, I immediately stopped deriving any comfort or pleasure from my situation, idleness etc.
I would give you a good advice op but I already got banned for it previously (something about encouraging people to break the law or whatever)…So I will just say that dick around until worst comes to worst and the pressure is so big that you will naturally commit suicide. You can't do it now because your life is still relatively good. Wait until you run out of all other options, then sayonara cruel world!
OR you could learn how to live as a lumpen (homeless guy, criminal or just generally as a crazy hermit, or if you are talented as some bohemian artist or philosopher who lives via begging). Pick your poison. It is possible to live as an outcast or outsider but it is life on ultra-hard mode. Well, in exchange you would have much more freedom than the average normalfag. Safety or freedom? What do you like better? If you want a safe life then be a normal, if you want a free life then continue as you are.
OR you could learn how to live as a lumpen (homeless guy, criminal or just generally as a crazy hermit, or if you are talented as some bohemian artist or philosopher who lives via begging). Pick your poison. It is possible to live as an outcast or outsider but it is life on ultra-hard mode. Well, in exchange you would have much more freedom than the average normalfag. Safety or freedom? What do you like better? If you want a safe life then be a normal, if you want a free life then continue as you are.
>>255070
This is the best advice, I should do the same.
But my mental is so broken that I can't think straight and then act on impulses and don't think about the long term effects of my actions, life is bullshit, I wish I lived in the neanderthal era
This is the best advice, I should do the same.
But my mental is so broken that I can't think straight and then act on impulses and don't think about the long term effects of my actions, life is bullshit, I wish I lived in the neanderthal era
>>255158
How can someone be self aware when they have diferent personalitys on them? I usually just become self aware after some One points out the incongruencies of myself, and thats what causes me depression.
How can someone be self aware when they have diferent personalitys on them? I usually just become self aware after some One points out the incongruencies of myself, and thats what causes me depression.
OP Here.
>>255060
Because I live in a shit country and it just keeps getting worse day by day.
>>255070
>>255080
Thanks for your response.
>>255072
I have about 885 games on my Steam and I don't get the urge to play any of these despite I have a really decent PC. Go figure why I said I don't want to do anything at all.
>>255094
Thanks I guess? Does that also mean I shouldn't overthink about conversations with people too?
>>255140
See, thats the problem. I lack motivation. But if it's something I really want nothing stands in my way. I just can't pinpoint why I can't get myself to work with learning Japanese, drawing and 3D modelling.
>>255060
Because I live in a shit country and it just keeps getting worse day by day.
>>255070
>>255080
Thanks for your response.
>>255072
I have about 885 games on my Steam and I don't get the urge to play any of these despite I have a really decent PC. Go figure why I said I don't want to do anything at all.
>>255094
Thanks I guess? Does that also mean I shouldn't overthink about conversations with people too?
>>255140
See, thats the problem. I lack motivation. But if it's something I really want nothing stands in my way. I just can't pinpoint why I can't get myself to work with learning Japanese, drawing and 3D modelling.
>>255172
Most retarded thing I've read today. Becoming what you describe gives no freedom whatsoever, rather the opposite, and I refuse to believe you actually believe what you wrote.
>>255286
When you have so little motivation that you end up constantly procrastinating, the most difficult thing is to start doing the thing. For example, when you're on the computer, you'd rather be browsing IBs or wasting your time playing vidya or whatever instead of finding your japanese lessons, getting a pen and paper for drawing, or opening the 3D software. What you need to do, is to "accidentally" start doing them. Because once you start, the sunken cost fallacy sets in and you're like "oh well, I started already, might as well continue for a bit", then it goes on and on and before you realize it, you've done something productive, even if it's minimal. The difficult part is starting, and that's why you need to do it "accidentally" because you will never do it out of your own will. Tell yourself, "hmm I need to check what my Blender version is", then you'll be forced to open the software. Leave it like that, then go do something else for a few minutes, like have a snack, so that when you come back you'll find your computer in a productivity-friendly state. Now that the program is open, might as well play with it for a bit. Oh, how do I change the cube's color? Let's look for a tutorial… Wow, this donut tutorial looks fun, let's try it, etc…
You get what I'm trying to say, good luck anon
Most retarded thing I've read today. Becoming what you describe gives no freedom whatsoever, rather the opposite, and I refuse to believe you actually believe what you wrote.
>>255286
When you have so little motivation that you end up constantly procrastinating, the most difficult thing is to start doing the thing. For example, when you're on the computer, you'd rather be browsing IBs or wasting your time playing vidya or whatever instead of finding your japanese lessons, getting a pen and paper for drawing, or opening the 3D software. What you need to do, is to "accidentally" start doing them. Because once you start, the sunken cost fallacy sets in and you're like "oh well, I started already, might as well continue for a bit", then it goes on and on and before you realize it, you've done something productive, even if it's minimal. The difficult part is starting, and that's why you need to do it "accidentally" because you will never do it out of your own will. Tell yourself, "hmm I need to check what my Blender version is", then you'll be forced to open the software. Leave it like that, then go do something else for a few minutes, like have a snack, so that when you come back you'll find your computer in a productivity-friendly state. Now that the program is open, might as well play with it for a bit. Oh, how do I change the cube's color? Let's look for a tutorial… Wow, this donut tutorial looks fun, let's try it, etc…
You get what I'm trying to say, good luck anon
>>255299
>how do I change the cube's color?
I would just paint the screen with a marker and go to sleep, not op tho.
>how do I change the cube's color?
I would just paint the screen with a marker and go to sleep, not op tho.
>>255299
What, you disagree that being a lumpen gives you more freedom? Then go rot as a wageslave, if you think that is freedom. I don't understand what you mean at all.
What, you disagree that being a lumpen gives you more freedom? Then go rot as a wageslave, if you think that is freedom. I don't understand what you mean at all.
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>>255080
>an extremely longwinded dude bro just dopamine fast it'll fix everything just get new habbits that are bettter lol
thanks but no thanks anon from the past
>an extremely longwinded dude bro just dopamine fast it'll fix everything just get new habbits that are bettter lol
thanks but no thanks anon from the past
>>255057
>On the other hand I got to talk people online but even then I am rather sick and tired of making the first move. It's either people are busy with their lives or don't care. It's almost as if there is something prevents others to talk with me for a change.
My experience with trying to socialize with people online has been the same, I never had anyone write me first, I always have to get in contact with people to get a message otherwise they would just forget about me but conversations usually end up feeling weird and forced anyway. I think this is mainly due to a lack of personality, social skills or mental health issues, many of us are simply not interesting or not relatable to most people. I tried to improve my social skills but it's not possible on the internet since people act different on it as well and nothings that deep anyway, most people just wanna meme or play games and then they return to their normal lives and their irl friends to experience things while we are still on the internet like its a portal to the real world we can never get through, it seems like people only put value in online friendships if they somehow feel lonely themselves.
Generation is also a reason for this since people of our age usually have done something in their lives or they end up being lonely like us, I'm sure that people born in the 90s are the loneliest generation of them all, we didnt experience social media and smartphones until we've already been at a certain age and then we got hit by it unexpectedly fast and some of our parents were clueless boomers who couldn't provide us with a personality or social skills. We had to go through a lot of change while the younger generations just grew up with all of it in an organic way and usually had more socially skilled parents than us.
The internet is also ultimately controlled by analytics and algorithms and we don't fit into social spaces since they are usually based on things we don't relate to. Places like wizchan are fading away as their userbase is not growing anymore.
>On the other hand I got to talk people online but even then I am rather sick and tired of making the first move. It's either people are busy with their lives or don't care. It's almost as if there is something prevents others to talk with me for a change.
My experience with trying to socialize with people online has been the same, I never had anyone write me first, I always have to get in contact with people to get a message otherwise they would just forget about me but conversations usually end up feeling weird and forced anyway. I think this is mainly due to a lack of personality, social skills or mental health issues, many of us are simply not interesting or not relatable to most people. I tried to improve my social skills but it's not possible on the internet since people act different on it as well and nothings that deep anyway, most people just wanna meme or play games and then they return to their normal lives and their irl friends to experience things while we are still on the internet like its a portal to the real world we can never get through, it seems like people only put value in online friendships if they somehow feel lonely themselves.
Generation is also a reason for this since people of our age usually have done something in their lives or they end up being lonely like us, I'm sure that people born in the 90s are the loneliest generation of them all, we didnt experience social media and smartphones until we've already been at a certain age and then we got hit by it unexpectedly fast and some of our parents were clueless boomers who couldn't provide us with a personality or social skills. We had to go through a lot of change while the younger generations just grew up with all of it in an organic way and usually had more socially skilled parents than us.
The internet is also ultimately controlled by analytics and algorithms and we don't fit into social spaces since they are usually based on things we don't relate to. Places like wizchan are fading away as their userbase is not growing anymore.
OP here. I just want to vent a little.
You know what fellow wizards, I'm actually sick and tired of life, but I'm just too scared to kill myself. Only if I had the courage, I'd do it and at least find some peace. I had that sad feeling surging inside me about my life choices so far. I really felt bad thinking about the future too. It's just I feel that life is all about suffering. My depression dosen't help either, it sometimes just punches me from my gut to remind me that I can do nothing but feel bad about myself. Just why I was born anyway… I think sometimes… Why here of all places, even… I just feel like I'm incompatible with everyone else.
You know what fellow wizards, I'm actually sick and tired of life, but I'm just too scared to kill myself. Only if I had the courage, I'd do it and at least find some peace. I had that sad feeling surging inside me about my life choices so far. I really felt bad thinking about the future too. It's just I feel that life is all about suffering. My depression dosen't help either, it sometimes just punches me from my gut to remind me that I can do nothing but feel bad about myself. Just why I was born anyway… I think sometimes… Why here of all places, even… I just feel like I'm incompatible with everyone else.
>>255774
You keep thinking about making friends. Making friends past 25 is insanely difficult.
Sure loneliness get you sad and gloomy, i understand. I, myself, am in bad mental shape right now. But you should stop focusing so much on it, there is not much you can do about it, you cannot force people to be your friends.
Don't torture yourself about things you can do nothing about.
Can't you apply for jobs that are in a different city in your country ? Good luck wiz.
You keep thinking about making friends. Making friends past 25 is insanely difficult.
Sure loneliness get you sad and gloomy, i understand. I, myself, am in bad mental shape right now. But you should stop focusing so much on it, there is not much you can do about it, you cannot force people to be your friends.
Don't torture yourself about things you can do nothing about.
Can't you apply for jobs that are in a different city in your country ? Good luck wiz.
>>255776
It's not about having friends anymore, literally no one wants to talk with me. And when I initiate and try to keep conversation I can't help but feel that I'm being overbearing or forcing other party to talk with me. This feeling never goes away and makes me desperate. And I'm told to get some friends, haha. I mean what's the point of trying if no one shows the exactly same effort as I do? This alone drives me crazy. Like I'm trying to get to know you, or have a decent conversation for a moment. BUT NO, I get the silent treatment and conversation ends before it starts.
I'm mostly stuck here in this city of retired people because I don't have the financial support nor the money. I tried to open my own business but since this country is so shitty and corrupted, I am forced to pay income tax even if I gain nothing, so that ended rather quickly. My only so-called option is working online, and I've been trying to do that. Despite being able to nab 2 high-paying jobs and spending over 2 weeks to earn hard work's pay and be happy about it, last night I had this horrible surge of bad feeling. The thoughts were mostly like: "Everyone is talking about computers and engineering. Did I make a mistake studying translation? Why can't I earn more? It's way below minimum wage. It's not enough. Why can't I make any progress?" It's like this wizanon, if I am happy for a day, I get sad for a week for no reason.
It's not about having friends anymore, literally no one wants to talk with me. And when I initiate and try to keep conversation I can't help but feel that I'm being overbearing or forcing other party to talk with me. This feeling never goes away and makes me desperate. And I'm told to get some friends, haha. I mean what's the point of trying if no one shows the exactly same effort as I do? This alone drives me crazy. Like I'm trying to get to know you, or have a decent conversation for a moment. BUT NO, I get the silent treatment and conversation ends before it starts.
I'm mostly stuck here in this city of retired people because I don't have the financial support nor the money. I tried to open my own business but since this country is so shitty and corrupted, I am forced to pay income tax even if I gain nothing, so that ended rather quickly. My only so-called option is working online, and I've been trying to do that. Despite being able to nab 2 high-paying jobs and spending over 2 weeks to earn hard work's pay and be happy about it, last night I had this horrible surge of bad feeling. The thoughts were mostly like: "Everyone is talking about computers and engineering. Did I make a mistake studying translation? Why can't I earn more? It's way below minimum wage. It's not enough. Why can't I make any progress?" It's like this wizanon, if I am happy for a day, I get sad for a week for no reason.
>>255798
>It's not about having friends anymore, literally no one wants to talk with me. And when I initiate and try to keep conversation I can't help but feel that I'm being overbearing or forcing other party to talk with me. This feeling never goes away and makes me desperate. And I'm told to get some friends, haha. I mean what's the point of trying if no one shows the exactly same effort as I do? This alone drives me crazy. Like I'm trying to get to know you, or have a decent conversation for a moment. BUT NO, I get the silent treatment and conversation ends before it starts.
That's pretty much my experience as well, we just lack what it needs to be interesting to others. Other people simply can't follow or relate to what you're saying because of the way you talk or act.
You might be too monotonous or boring to talk with , you might be depressing or irritating to listen to or it just feels forced to talk with you. It can be a lot of different reasons on why conversations don't end well and you might find out or already know about them.
>It's not about having friends anymore, literally no one wants to talk with me. And when I initiate and try to keep conversation I can't help but feel that I'm being overbearing or forcing other party to talk with me. This feeling never goes away and makes me desperate. And I'm told to get some friends, haha. I mean what's the point of trying if no one shows the exactly same effort as I do? This alone drives me crazy. Like I'm trying to get to know you, or have a decent conversation for a moment. BUT NO, I get the silent treatment and conversation ends before it starts.
That's pretty much my experience as well, we just lack what it needs to be interesting to others. Other people simply can't follow or relate to what you're saying because of the way you talk or act.
You might be too monotonous or boring to talk with , you might be depressing or irritating to listen to or it just feels forced to talk with you. It can be a lot of different reasons on why conversations don't end well and you might find out or already know about them.
>>255799
I wish someone could at least point out what's wrong. Typically my conversations go up until "hi, how're you?" and it's a miracle if it keeps on from that point onwards. It's so frustrating to see my conversations fail right after they start. As if I expect more, all I ask from other party is "how am I feeling" in return at most then again I'm so boring no such thing is asked, and mostly conversations end there. Second most frustrating thing to me is, the other party never initiates a conversation with me. NEVER. I can try bugging them a couple of days even, but I can never get something in return.
I wish someone could at least point out what's wrong. Typically my conversations go up until "hi, how're you?" and it's a miracle if it keeps on from that point onwards. It's so frustrating to see my conversations fail right after they start. As if I expect more, all I ask from other party is "how am I feeling" in return at most then again I'm so boring no such thing is asked, and mostly conversations end there. Second most frustrating thing to me is, the other party never initiates a conversation with me. NEVER. I can try bugging them a couple of days even, but I can never get something in return.
You have to pretend that everything is fine because it is useless to express it. Nobody cares! And if they ask you how are you? It's routine, they really don't want to know and it's better to keep quiet than to be called crazy and the worst thing is that you're afraid to believe it so you trace that grimace on your face that everyone calls a smile, the dictionary tells you that "smiling" is the result of joy and in your case it is the result of not wanting to appear mentally ill in front of people.
Some believe that being depressed is spending the day crying, but when you really feel it, crying stays in the background because you don't even find sense to cry, you're just empty, you're a disguise with no one inside, they look at you and think you're there, but you are never there, you feel absent from yourself, you cannot even find yourself and bring yourself back and you come to think if you were ever someone, you take out the old photos and it is impossible to remember what was there before this because now you are dead even though you are still living.
>>255801
There's no reason for them to point out what's wrong with you since they have no interest in further communicating, they have no benefit in getting all personal with you when their gut tells them to keep their distance in the first place.
People don't initiate a conversation because they are not interested in talking with you, they are zero invested in who you are or what you're doing and you are basically losing self-respect by being invested in them and trying to contact them repeatedly.
People who don't struggle socially will pick up very fast if someone has no interest in talking with them but for people with low social skills these hints can be difficult to notice since all interactions feel weird in some way and it can be hard to differentiate.
It's most likely impossible that something you say will suddenly spark their interest in you if the first impression has been dry and boring. A lot of the people on this board would be able to talk like they're in a podcast if the conversation is focused on a topic and they would be able to say interesting in-depth things but when it comes to small talk or average/casual conversations many struggle because that requires actual social skills and not just being able to talk about things.
I'm not sure how much of this can be changed and I think it's largely based on your personality and how you developed. We are not able to shape ourselves into a whole new person mentally but I think a lot of us still have a vivid personality which is hidden by depression and other mental health issues.
If someone actually wants to communicate with you it doesn't mean that its a good thing since there are a lot of fucked up people who prey on lonely dudes who just wish to socialize. Being actually lonely and socializing with semi-lonely weirdos or failed normies is usually a recipe for disaster. If most people avoid you then the one person who doesn't is to be approached with caution because that person might still keep you at an arms length but not in a way you will notice right away and then you might get exploited.
tl;dr
If they don't put any effort into communicating with you they have no interest in it, if someone has interest in you it could easily still be a bad thing.
There's no reason for them to point out what's wrong with you since they have no interest in further communicating, they have no benefit in getting all personal with you when their gut tells them to keep their distance in the first place.
People don't initiate a conversation because they are not interested in talking with you, they are zero invested in who you are or what you're doing and you are basically losing self-respect by being invested in them and trying to contact them repeatedly.
People who don't struggle socially will pick up very fast if someone has no interest in talking with them but for people with low social skills these hints can be difficult to notice since all interactions feel weird in some way and it can be hard to differentiate.
It's most likely impossible that something you say will suddenly spark their interest in you if the first impression has been dry and boring. A lot of the people on this board would be able to talk like they're in a podcast if the conversation is focused on a topic and they would be able to say interesting in-depth things but when it comes to small talk or average/casual conversations many struggle because that requires actual social skills and not just being able to talk about things.
I'm not sure how much of this can be changed and I think it's largely based on your personality and how you developed. We are not able to shape ourselves into a whole new person mentally but I think a lot of us still have a vivid personality which is hidden by depression and other mental health issues.
If someone actually wants to communicate with you it doesn't mean that its a good thing since there are a lot of fucked up people who prey on lonely dudes who just wish to socialize. Being actually lonely and socializing with semi-lonely weirdos or failed normies is usually a recipe for disaster. If most people avoid you then the one person who doesn't is to be approached with caution because that person might still keep you at an arms length but not in a way you will notice right away and then you might get exploited.
tl;dr
If they don't put any effort into communicating with you they have no interest in it, if someone has interest in you it could easily still be a bad thing.
>>255846
>If most people avoid you then the one person who doesn't is to be approached with caution
Not the OP, but really this is a good advice. Thanks wizzie.
>If most people avoid you then the one person who doesn't is to be approached with caution
Not the OP, but really this is a good advice. Thanks wizzie.
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>>255846
OP here again, thanks for the interesting reply. Although, I don't know what to do really. Guess I'll get used to it.
OP here again, thanks for the interesting reply. Although, I don't know what to do really. Guess I'll get used to it.
File: 1646683805153.mp4 (13.06 MB, 720x1280, 9:16, 16466621556610.mp4) ImgOps iqdb
How to jump armed person better?
Sorry i cant read captcha on 4ch.. so i resort here.
Here in Russia , military persons wont go hungry, if famine happen.
So wont i am , if i get gun 1st.
So my plan by far, jump cop dude ( spray him w tear gas 1st).
Maybe even dude will go alive.
W gun then , i have a lot of targets , there are lot of types who are guilty of war.
(I just afraid to post this shit on local main board as monitoring intensifies, main poard is gov own esp now in war time)
Sorry i cant read captcha on 4ch.. so i resort here.
Here in Russia , military persons wont go hungry, if famine happen.
So wont i am , if i get gun 1st.
So my plan by far, jump cop dude ( spray him w tear gas 1st).
Maybe even dude will go alive.
W gun then , i have a lot of targets , there are lot of types who are guilty of war.
(I just afraid to post this shit on local main board as monitoring intensifies, main poard is gov own esp now in war time)
>>255057
Do never hurry. Do not try to control what is above your capacity or need. If you are only allowed to do a insignificant piece of good thing instead of what you actually dream or would like to, then select the tiny thing. After that, you may try further.
Other are busy and you should stop looking for their attention. Clock is tcking but… do you really think you have any power against what universe has determined to happen?
Towards what is that clock ticking? What do you fear?
Do never hurry. Do not try to control what is above your capacity or need. If you are only allowed to do a insignificant piece of good thing instead of what you actually dream or would like to, then select the tiny thing. After that, you may try further.
Other are busy and you should stop looking for their attention. Clock is tcking but… do you really think you have any power against what universe has determined to happen?
Towards what is that clock ticking? What do you fear?
File: 1650391579714.jpg (32.77 KB, 250x250, 1:1, 1650371122115.jpg) ImgOps iqdb
>>257475
OP here. I meant "life is going on and I grow older with no progress"
My depression mostly got quelled ever since I started nailing small scale jobs online. But the greed is driving me very ambitious. I want that dough and yet my options are very available. At least I try, beats doing nothing. Although earlier today I felt my depression surging back because I couldn't hang out with a succubus from Discord. Generally speaking, while making friends I'm really tired of always making the first move, I try my best not to act overbearing yet people doesn't does not return the favor, like let me give an example here. If I try to befriend someone and keep contacting them for 3-4 days I then start expecting them to do the same, it just feels I'm bothering them too much and I think the relationship should balance itself out. Yet I see most of the time people doesn't care and I end up with a surging depression. Really, life is truly hell for sensitive people like me.(USER WAS BANNED FOR THIS POST)
OP here. I meant "life is going on and I grow older with no progress"
My depression mostly got quelled ever since I started nailing small scale jobs online. But the greed is driving me very ambitious. I want that dough and yet my options are very available. At least I try, beats doing nothing. Although earlier today I felt my depression surging back because I couldn't hang out with a succubus from Discord. Generally speaking, while making friends I'm really tired of always making the first move, I try my best not to act overbearing yet people doesn't does not return the favor, like let me give an example here. If I try to befriend someone and keep contacting them for 3-4 days I then start expecting them to do the same, it just feels I'm bothering them too much and I think the relationship should balance itself out. Yet I see most of the time people doesn't care and I end up with a surging depression. Really, life is truly hell for sensitive people like me.(USER WAS BANNED FOR THIS POST)
>>257963
The nature of relations is usefulness, as long as you're useful to someone, a relation starts.
You're wired to crave those things.
Your problem is that you're not useful to them.
Hence hobbies, those are ties.
The nature of relations is usefulness, as long as you're useful to someone, a relation starts.
You're wired to crave those things.
Your problem is that you're not useful to them.
Hence hobbies, those are ties.
Why is his thread still up? Having succubus friends and hanging out with them is fine as long as you don't mention their gender?