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Post here when you don't have enough to say for a topic and it's too depressing for the general crawl thread.
It's been a while since I looked at the covid-19 numbers. The USA is less than 15k deaths away from one million now. Amazing just how many normies are when a million of them can die and you don't even notice.
>>255891
The war in Ukraine breaks out and they're crying. 6 million deaths world wide and nothing.
The war in Ukraine breaks out and they're crying. 6 million deaths world wide and nothing.
>>255891
Over 50 million people die each year. About 3k people died since you wrote this post. Isolated people will only notice when whoever is footing the bills becomes part of the statistic.
Over 50 million people die each year. About 3k people died since you wrote this post. Isolated people will only notice when whoever is footing the bills becomes part of the statistic.
>>255887
I stopped browsing imageboards for quite some time, but lately I was feeling tremendous lonely. I was longing for social interaction.
Unfortunately, all the corners of the interweb I used to browse are dead.
I used to be active in the 8ch/r9k and 8ch/v9k (virgin9000) which were created as a safe space for the virgins of "4ch/r9k" which became filled with sex havers and faggots. After the 8ch virgin friendly boards disappeared, a bunker emerged in anon.cafe, it also ceased to exist.
I remember that wizchan disappeared too, but I was glad that upon typing "wizchan.org" few days ago I was greeted with a wholesome banner.
I do not know how to feel about this, maybe I am getting old and the imageboard concept as a medium of communication is standing on its last leg.
Or maybe, I just refuse to look for other topics as I hate /pol/ and such themed boards.
Unfortunately (or fortunately), I never felt the appeal to be part of a social media platform like twitter, discord or tiktok. It's just people throwing around reaction images and few buzz words.
So I guess, wizchan will do until it collapses.
I stopped browsing imageboards for quite some time, but lately I was feeling tremendous lonely. I was longing for social interaction.
Unfortunately, all the corners of the interweb I used to browse are dead.
I used to be active in the 8ch/r9k and 8ch/v9k (virgin9000) which were created as a safe space for the virgins of "4ch/r9k" which became filled with sex havers and faggots. After the 8ch virgin friendly boards disappeared, a bunker emerged in anon.cafe, it also ceased to exist.
I remember that wizchan disappeared too, but I was glad that upon typing "wizchan.org" few days ago I was greeted with a wholesome banner.
I do not know how to feel about this, maybe I am getting old and the imageboard concept as a medium of communication is standing on its last leg.
Or maybe, I just refuse to look for other topics as I hate /pol/ and such themed boards.
Unfortunately (or fortunately), I never felt the appeal to be part of a social media platform like twitter, discord or tiktok. It's just people throwing around reaction images and few buzz words.
So I guess, wizchan will do until it collapses.
>>255901
Imageboards are not immune to being overrun. The era of small village internet is rare. All it takes is one retard "influencer" to signal boost a place to viral status. Then it becomes a zoo. Where you are the animal and the place is flooded with gawkers coming to see us freakshows.
I've wondered if some how it is possible to get back the small internet era. Maybe use the fact that the world is tech illiterate including zoomers. I bet if a site was able to block phones completely that would make a huge difference. Social media platforms use anti-patterns against us to profit monetarily and do psyop. Maybe there's some way to anti-pattern out the hoardes of trash.
Imageboards are not immune to being overrun. The era of small village internet is rare. All it takes is one retard "influencer" to signal boost a place to viral status. Then it becomes a zoo. Where you are the animal and the place is flooded with gawkers coming to see us freakshows.
I've wondered if some how it is possible to get back the small internet era. Maybe use the fact that the world is tech illiterate including zoomers. I bet if a site was able to block phones completely that would make a huge difference. Social media platforms use anti-patterns against us to profit monetarily and do psyop. Maybe there's some way to anti-pattern out the hoardes of trash.
>>255902
Every other post on the old wizardchan was tfw no gf though, users just didn't take themselves so seriously so it had a more relaxed mood to it. Actual content was always trash. Also, small places online are more common than ever now. Even on sites like reddit, for every big sub there are hundreds, thousands of small ones where only a dozen or so people go to. For every big yt channel there are thousands of small niche channels were you have the same 6 people commenting on the content for years. Same goes to places like discord. The fact that most people are on the same websites is misleading, in fact those sites are like huge labyrinths with most communities completely buried from view.
All you really need is having an active interest for something. Soon enough you will find a small community centered around the stuff you want to talk about. The problem begins when you have no interests, so you have no direction to dive into, then you'll be forever on the surface, floating around with the garbage.
Every other post on the old wizardchan was tfw no gf though, users just didn't take themselves so seriously so it had a more relaxed mood to it. Actual content was always trash. Also, small places online are more common than ever now. Even on sites like reddit, for every big sub there are hundreds, thousands of small ones where only a dozen or so people go to. For every big yt channel there are thousands of small niche channels were you have the same 6 people commenting on the content for years. Same goes to places like discord. The fact that most people are on the same websites is misleading, in fact those sites are like huge labyrinths with most communities completely buried from view.
All you really need is having an active interest for something. Soon enough you will find a small community centered around the stuff you want to talk about. The problem begins when you have no interests, so you have no direction to dive into, then you'll be forever on the surface, floating around with the garbage.
>>255903
No idea what you're talking about. I really doubt you are old enough to have used the early web. You talk like another zoomer kid deluding himself to thinking the stuff you grew up with counts as vintage internet.
No idea what you're talking about. I really doubt you are old enough to have used the early web. You talk like another zoomer kid deluding himself to thinking the stuff you grew up with counts as vintage internet.
>>255887
tried doing nofap because i wanted to focus on learning something but i failed. It's sad how the only thing that can make me feel good are these stupid porn games.. 3rd day wasted.
tried doing nofap because i wanted to focus on learning something but i failed. It's sad how the only thing that can make me feel good are these stupid porn games.. 3rd day wasted.
>>255906
>It's sad how the only thing that can make me feel good are these stupid porn games
Stop or you gonna fry your dopamine receptors.
Porn is trash and I am glad I am 2 years porn free.
>It's sad how the only thing that can make me feel good are these stupid porn games
Stop or you gonna fry your dopamine receptors.
Porn is trash and I am glad I am 2 years porn free.
i think one of the most brutal feelings in the world is when you try hard to reach a goal for a long time and you dont get anything out of it. it is crazy how much things not in your control can throw you off course and dictate your life
>>255910
What goal did you reach?
>it is crazy how much things not in your control can throw you off course and dictate your life
lol, try telling that to the normies.
What goal did you reach?
>it is crazy how much things not in your control can throw you off course and dictate your life
lol, try telling that to the normies.
In retrospect I wondered why I went (and still do go) through so much mental pain.
I suppose it's because there was something clearly wrong with the world of today and I had to debate myself constantly to understand what my position is, what is the truth, just trite but true
The level of psychological manipulation and stomping I've been through in my life, through so much internet exposure, through so many ulterior motives in information, through the sheer disgusting realities surfaced, through the amount of soul-limp peoples, the searing indifference and the fade of people, the isolated isle of existence, the amount of advertising built to make you miserable (so you buy "happiness"), how addiction is the vein stilt that lets the blood flow, the money blood, blood money, social currency, soul sucking, nothingness
It is a strange sort of thing, all of this mental pain
But I am definitely glad for it, I'm quite happy about it, if this is my challenge.
For at least I am not strung up and begging for forgiveness before the spanish inquisitor rips my spine in two
For at least I am not stuck in the throes of war
For so many things
yes, I do wish the mental pain would stop, it seems there's always some sort of wall I'm stubbing my toe in, stubbing for years, years it doesn't end
But perhaps, just maybe, just maybe I've finally acquired some eyes
things don't have to be so dark
I suppose it's because there was something clearly wrong with the world of today and I had to debate myself constantly to understand what my position is, what is the truth, just trite but true
The level of psychological manipulation and stomping I've been through in my life, through so much internet exposure, through so many ulterior motives in information, through the sheer disgusting realities surfaced, through the amount of soul-limp peoples, the searing indifference and the fade of people, the isolated isle of existence, the amount of advertising built to make you miserable (so you buy "happiness"), how addiction is the vein stilt that lets the blood flow, the money blood, blood money, social currency, soul sucking, nothingness
It is a strange sort of thing, all of this mental pain
But I am definitely glad for it, I'm quite happy about it, if this is my challenge.
For at least I am not strung up and begging for forgiveness before the spanish inquisitor rips my spine in two
For at least I am not stuck in the throes of war
For so many things
yes, I do wish the mental pain would stop, it seems there's always some sort of wall I'm stubbing my toe in, stubbing for years, years it doesn't end
But perhaps, just maybe, just maybe I've finally acquired some eyes
things don't have to be so dark
>>255914
That's what I realized too after quite some time.
I was increasing my own pain due to my grim mindset. People were already giving me a hard time, so why should I shit on myself more ?
It's quite liberating, truly. One of my main issues is that I was often comparing myself to normals and how I missed out on some things.
I am not cut of the same steel, not meant to be like them … And it's fine !
That's what I realized too after quite some time.
I was increasing my own pain due to my grim mindset. People were already giving me a hard time, so why should I shit on myself more ?
It's quite liberating, truly. One of my main issues is that I was often comparing myself to normals and how I missed out on some things.
I am not cut of the same steel, not meant to be like them … And it's fine !
>>255919
>I was increasing my own pain due to my grim mindset.
I've been wondering about this lately.
A lot of the mental pain is due to taking stuff too seriously.
Eventually the seriousness fades away.
I think it's just a lack of self-confidence.
Those who strongly say, "Ah, I'm great and right" are the ones who rarely have such melancholy
The question is to how to believe so strongly in what you believe, what would best support your reality.
I will heed your experience wiz, thank you
>I was increasing my own pain due to my grim mindset.
I've been wondering about this lately.
A lot of the mental pain is due to taking stuff too seriously.
Eventually the seriousness fades away.
I think it's just a lack of self-confidence.
Those who strongly say, "Ah, I'm great and right" are the ones who rarely have such melancholy
The question is to how to believe so strongly in what you believe, what would best support your reality.
I will heed your experience wiz, thank you
when all the lights are off and I am in complete silence I think about how when I die, I am not going to know where I end up and the greatest fear is my mind simply being lost.
The thought of just not existing scares me and the fact that I take drugs and eat unhealthy shit which speeds up my death makes me feel uneasy.
It makes me realize that all there really is to life is just having power and some way to show that you still have that power even when you die, be it something you created or some event you caused
The thought of just not existing scares me and the fact that I take drugs and eat unhealthy shit which speeds up my death makes me feel uneasy.
It makes me realize that all there really is to life is just having power and some way to show that you still have that power even when you die, be it something you created or some event you caused
Strange being completely unrelatable to, even to all the dweebs who bemoan life on this site, when a year ago, I was just like the rest of you. Health problems are a destructor of people's minds and psyches like nothing else. Suffering every day and night for extended periods of time with nobody to relate or ease it, it leads to a path even beyond your average late teen/young adult aged wizkid who cries about tfw no gf like that's valid reason enough alone to bitch like a crying succubus about how hard life is.
No, it's getting 3 invasive surgeries in the course of 2 days, doctors, nurses, surgeons, ignoring your pain, being completely dehumanized like you're a Holocaust victim. Learning the faces and names of all the hospital inpatient staff cause you've been there so often, for months, yet 3/4ths of them treat you like it's your first time there just because you're nothing but another statistic to them, you are furniture that populates a room and nothing more, not an actual human being.
Knowing it'll probably be terminal is the only respite, but all the bumps on the road as they still try to "treat" it and continue failing, are very painful. I try to tell them I'm in so much pain I can barely move, and they will interrupt me, then try to push me around themselves, grabbing me, then when I scream in agony, they're confused and annoying, like I didn't try to tell them. The opioids aren't even as good as I imagined them from junkie tales. Real pain, they're like putting up a fucking paper mache wall between you and the pain.
I'm just complaining about how much real pain and bullshit I had to go through to put in perspective how much of a whiny bitch e everyone is these days, while the real sufferers are silent and abused by incompetent idiots dragging on their subhuman lives because our culture thinks suicide is wrong. What a big joke.
No, it's getting 3 invasive surgeries in the course of 2 days, doctors, nurses, surgeons, ignoring your pain, being completely dehumanized like you're a Holocaust victim. Learning the faces and names of all the hospital inpatient staff cause you've been there so often, for months, yet 3/4ths of them treat you like it's your first time there just because you're nothing but another statistic to them, you are furniture that populates a room and nothing more, not an actual human being.
Knowing it'll probably be terminal is the only respite, but all the bumps on the road as they still try to "treat" it and continue failing, are very painful. I try to tell them I'm in so much pain I can barely move, and they will interrupt me, then try to push me around themselves, grabbing me, then when I scream in agony, they're confused and annoying, like I didn't try to tell them. The opioids aren't even as good as I imagined them from junkie tales. Real pain, they're like putting up a fucking paper mache wall between you and the pain.
I'm just complaining about how much real pain and bullshit I had to go through to put in perspective how much of a whiny bitch e everyone is these days, while the real sufferers are silent and abused by incompetent idiots dragging on their subhuman lives because our culture thinks suicide is wrong. What a big joke.
>>255954
There is no way I can relate and I'm not going to offer words of comfort or advice because what the fuck do I know, I'm just another failed normalfag whiner. But I genuinely hope your pain ends soon, one way or another. It must completely fucking suck.
There is no way I can relate and I'm not going to offer words of comfort or advice because what the fuck do I know, I'm just another failed normalfag whiner. But I genuinely hope your pain ends soon, one way or another. It must completely fucking suck.
>>255954
I really hope you can find that respite from your suffering someday. The fact that anyone has to suffer like this disgusts me.
I really hope you can find that respite from your suffering someday. The fact that anyone has to suffer like this disgusts me.
I just found in the trash compartment of my building a functioning mini oven. Granted it needs some clearning.
I don't know how to cooks (except scrambled eggs).
This might be a great opportunity to do something.
It's surprising what people toss aside.
I don't know how to cooks (except scrambled eggs).
This might be a great opportunity to do something.
It's surprising what people toss aside.
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Anyone just feel purposeless? I have no reason to be alive and i'm not interested in anything except fulfilling my biological need to fap, I don't like any hobbies or anything else. I don't think it's depression because i'm taking my medication and I feel fine mentally and physically. I don't know what to do with my life anymore.
>>255993
>i'm taking my medication
You mean you're ingesting chemicals designed solely to numb your ability to find joy, drive, and passion? Anti-depressants are also anti-joys. If you're able to lament over not feeling any purpose, then you're not fine mentally. Consider waning off of these drugs.
>i'm taking my medication
You mean you're ingesting chemicals designed solely to numb your ability to find joy, drive, and passion? Anti-depressants are also anti-joys. If you're able to lament over not feeling any purpose, then you're not fine mentally. Consider waning off of these drugs.
why do normalfags care about ukraine so much? my parents think I'm some kind of monster because I'm not pledging my support
>>255995
not him and i agree with you, but as a disclaimer, ive never taken any medication and i feel very purposeless
not him and i agree with you, but as a disclaimer, ive never taken any medication and i feel very purposeless
>>255995
I have no choice, my medication helps me not get so angry as much or feeling a bundle of intense emotions. I don't know if the pills ruined my brain because i'm 21 and have been taking them since I was 15, I just got on new medication and don't think I can afford to immediately quit.
I have no choice, my medication helps me not get so angry as much or feeling a bundle of intense emotions. I don't know if the pills ruined my brain because i'm 21 and have been taking them since I was 15, I just got on new medication and don't think I can afford to immediately quit.
>>256000
the past two years has literally just been people fighting over fucking paper masks of all things, now there's finally something new to talk about that's actually entertaining, people might pretend there's deeper reasons but it's just as simple as that
the past two years has literally just been people fighting over fucking paper masks of all things, now there's finally something new to talk about that's actually entertaining, people might pretend there's deeper reasons but it's just as simple as that
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>>255887
I've always been depressive and felt like I am completely alien to other people for as long as I can remember, and then in my early 20s suddenly developed multiple serious brain problems as a reward for dealing with it up until then.
I've always been depressive and felt like I am completely alien to other people for as long as I can remember, and then in my early 20s suddenly developed multiple serious brain problems as a reward for dealing with it up until then.
>>256000
honestly who care about ukraine i'm, not ukrainian so why the fuck would i care? this society is hilarious tryin to make people care about things that have no effect on their life
honestly who care about ukraine i'm, not ukrainian so why the fuck would i care? this society is hilarious tryin to make people care about things that have no effect on their life
>>255891
the people who died were old and in poor health, had the disease been more indiscriminate and deadly people would have definitely noticed.
the people who died were old and in poor health, had the disease been more indiscriminate and deadly people would have definitely noticed.
>>256065
You have to take it just before you sleep and no phone or computer allowed wiz !
If you can find the sublingual form, it kicks in faster.
You have to take it just before you sleep and no phone or computer allowed wiz !
If you can find the sublingual form, it kicks in faster.
>>256059
Go outside and walk for at least 4 hours even though you are tired. That will make you even more tired so that you will be able to sleep.
Go outside and walk for at least 4 hours even though you are tired. That will make you even more tired so that you will be able to sleep.
I need to exercise, I feel like shit when I don’t, but I hate going to the gym and doing it around other people. I hate seeing all these dude bros that mog the shit out of me and succs that despise me. But I am too poor for a home gym
>>256082
You can do a bodyweight routine from home, it'll be better than nothing. Running is also free, if you are comfortable with running in public
You can do a bodyweight routine from home, it'll be better than nothing. Running is also free, if you are comfortable with running in public
>>256085
What kind of body weight routine do you recommend
>if you are comfortable with running in public
No I could never. My ankles are fucked so I run like a retard. If I have to do cardio I need to use an elliptical
One of the ammenities included with my apartment is a gym but I have been avoiding it out of fear of gymbrahs and succs. and I’ve been slowly rotting away in my apartment knowing full well the reason why I feel like shit, but I just can’t bring myself to leave. It’s crippling, it’s stifling
What kind of body weight routine do you recommend
>if you are comfortable with running in public
No I could never. My ankles are fucked so I run like a retard. If I have to do cardio I need to use an elliptical
One of the ammenities included with my apartment is a gym but I have been avoiding it out of fear of gymbrahs and succs. and I’ve been slowly rotting away in my apartment knowing full well the reason why I feel like shit, but I just can’t bring myself to leave. It’s crippling, it’s stifling
I’ve known for a long time that I’m a future suicide statistic. I really don’t envision any way in which I make it to 40. There’s just no way. What am I even going to do? Live just to stay alive? Fuck that. Getting old is for normies.
But I’m not stupid enough to kill myself now when I am in my prime. Probably I will kill myself when I realize I have no joy in my life anymore. I know that day is coming. Happiness has been seeping out of my life for some time now. There’s still some left, but it’s not gonna last me that long
But I’m not stupid enough to kill myself now when I am in my prime. Probably I will kill myself when I realize I have no joy in my life anymore. I know that day is coming. Happiness has been seeping out of my life for some time now. There’s still some left, but it’s not gonna last me that long
>>256090
>fear of gymbrahs
Gymbros are the nicest guys you'll ever meet. They thrive on helping men better themselves and love seeing dudes improve. As long as you don't do anything to put anyone else in danger they'll either give you tips or keep to themselves. Wearing headphones is universal language for Do Not Disturb, but expect someone to suggest a change in your movements if what you're doing risks injuring yourself. And running the treadmills is no dangerous task so you'll really just be left alone. You and every other man in that gym are there to improve yourselves. You're all there with a common purpose, so you're all brothers.
Except the succubi, fuck them (figuratively). They have their own succ-only gyms they can go use those. Where are the male only gyms? Illegal that's where.
>fear of gymbrahs
Gymbros are the nicest guys you'll ever meet. They thrive on helping men better themselves and love seeing dudes improve. As long as you don't do anything to put anyone else in danger they'll either give you tips or keep to themselves. Wearing headphones is universal language for Do Not Disturb, but expect someone to suggest a change in your movements if what you're doing risks injuring yourself. And running the treadmills is no dangerous task so you'll really just be left alone. You and every other man in that gym are there to improve yourselves. You're all there with a common purpose, so you're all brothers.
Except the succubi, fuck them (figuratively). They have their own succ-only gyms they can go use those. Where are the male only gyms? Illegal that's where.
>paying to move
walk outside or grab a bike. the best kind of physical activity is one that is not done merely for the sake of it like hitting arbitrary numbers in a tight bright yellow suit
when I walk past these unsightly buildings the people inside look like rodents in a wheel. id rather be naked in public than walk into these cesspits
walk outside or grab a bike. the best kind of physical activity is one that is not done merely for the sake of it like hitting arbitrary numbers in a tight bright yellow suit
when I walk past these unsightly buildings the people inside look like rodents in a wheel. id rather be naked in public than walk into these cesspits
My parents make me go to a psychiatrist every 4 months to get my meds and today is the day again. I have some bad news to give him but I hope I can bullshit my way through the session and have another 4 months of freedom again. Can't wait to be back home.
>>256104
Female only gyms are tantamount to whites only drinking fountains, disgusting trash.
Female only gyms are tantamount to whites only drinking fountains, disgusting trash.
>>256044
dude healthy 30 year olds losing a lung because some normies need to hang out and get sick. death rate does not matter chud, some of us are fatasses from withdrawing from society
dude healthy 30 year olds losing a lung because some normies need to hang out and get sick. death rate does not matter chud, some of us are fatasses from withdrawing from society
>>256121
>some of us are fatasses from withdrawing from society
what are you so scared for then? you're less likely to get sick than someone with a social life
you can't expect the world to keep up the charade forever because you might or might not get seriously ill. and lol at healthy 30 year olds losing a lung. it's an infinitesimal proportion
>some of us are fatasses from withdrawing from society
what are you so scared for then? you're less likely to get sick than someone with a social life
you can't expect the world to keep up the charade forever because you might or might not get seriously ill. and lol at healthy 30 year olds losing a lung. it's an infinitesimal proportion
>>256114
I used to go every 2 months but because of the pandemic he changed it to 4 months.
I used to go every 2 months but because of the pandemic he changed it to 4 months.
This entire year everything I've tried has failed, dropped out of collage, can't even get an interview, there is no work to be found. Obviously no friends, my only acquaintance owes me money and if I don't get it I'm homeless soon. He might have cancer so I've already lost hope I'll get any money back…
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i wish i could express how i feel. i feel like at the eye of a hurricane. unending manic episode. unending hyperfocus. i feel awesome. but also very cold and lonely. i feel like im entering a world of lights. i feel free and predestined at the same time. studying and learning makes me feel that. i love math, physics, computer science, programming and computers. they set me free. i think i can clearly see things no one else can. i feel so fluent.
i dont know i just hope my mom can work her job for another 10 years so i can become a phd. ill be really spectacular. ill have the power to make a change. its just a matter of time and acquiring knowledge.
i feel something otherwordly. so awesome but so afraid.
i dont know sorry and goodbye.
i dont know i just hope my mom can work her job for another 10 years so i can become a phd. ill be really spectacular. ill have the power to make a change. its just a matter of time and acquiring knowledge.
i feel something otherwordly. so awesome but so afraid.
i dont know sorry and goodbye.
this is my first time checking WizChan. I've been afraid of peeping in but the cruel reality that I'm turning into a 30 year old virgin this year is hitting me hard. Hello new frens
>>255887
this is my first time on WizChan. I have tried to avoid this place for a long time but he reality that i'm almost a 30 year old virgin has brought me here. Hello new frens
this is my first time on WizChan. I have tried to avoid this place for a long time but he reality that i'm almost a 30 year old virgin has brought me here. Hello new frens
>>256104
i dont give a fuck about "improving". stop trying to project your shitty ideology onto me. thats one reason i despise gymbrahs. if i need to improve, then i am not good enough, so it is basically just an insult.
i dont give a fuck about "improving". stop trying to project your shitty ideology onto me. thats one reason i despise gymbrahs. if i need to improve, then i am not good enough, so it is basically just an insult.
>>256132
Are you the same guy I was responding to ( >>256090 ) ? If so, then your anger is misplaced. You implied in that post that you weren't happy with what you are; that you weren't good enough for yourself. You mentioned needing to use equipment to heal your body, that you have a fear of a type of person, and that you're crippled by lack of motivation. I tried to explain to you that the gym you mentioned was a way out of your physical ailment, that the types of people you fear are not types that you ought to fear, and that getting out there is easy. If you feel stifled by your mental and physical state, then what was anyone supposed to say to help besides encouraging you to follow through with advice you gave yourself in that same post?
What do you think I meant when I said "Improve yourself"? The only person insulting you is yourself by considering yourself hopeless. Sorry for not agreeing with you? I am rally confused by your response.
Are you the same guy I was responding to ( >>256090 ) ? If so, then your anger is misplaced. You implied in that post that you weren't happy with what you are; that you weren't good enough for yourself. You mentioned needing to use equipment to heal your body, that you have a fear of a type of person, and that you're crippled by lack of motivation. I tried to explain to you that the gym you mentioned was a way out of your physical ailment, that the types of people you fear are not types that you ought to fear, and that getting out there is easy. If you feel stifled by your mental and physical state, then what was anyone supposed to say to help besides encouraging you to follow through with advice you gave yourself in that same post?
What do you think I meant when I said "Improve yourself"? The only person insulting you is yourself by considering yourself hopeless. Sorry for not agreeing with you? I am rally confused by your response.
>>256134
you dont understand because you are a literal fucking autist retard. its ironic that i still come here to get consolation from faggots that cant communicate
you dont understand because you are a literal fucking autist retard. its ironic that i still come here to get consolation from faggots that cant communicate
>>256138
>I want to go to the free gym that is in the same building, but I am afraid of the people there
<The people there are not as fearsome as you think
>I don't give a fuck, stop projecting your shitty ideology, I despise you, fucking autist retard faggot who can't communicate
is this parody or are you psychotic?
>I want to go to the free gym that is in the same building, but I am afraid of the people there
<The people there are not as fearsome as you think
>I don't give a fuck, stop projecting your shitty ideology, I despise you, fucking autist retard faggot who can't communicate
is this parody or are you psychotic?
>>256132
if i need to improve, then i am not good enough, so it is basically just an insult.
You're a vulnerable narcissist legit
if i need to improve, then i am not good enough, so it is basically just an insult.
You're a vulnerable narcissist legit
>>256126
Now I feel similar to you, feels like I could be king of the universe. The possibilities seem endless. In reality I know that I'm not that unique or exceptional to achieve great things but who cares? It feels awesome, this feeling, while it lasts.
>>256125
Beat up the guy and get your money back. If you will be homeless you don't have anything to lose.
Now I feel similar to you, feels like I could be king of the universe. The possibilities seem endless. In reality I know that I'm not that unique or exceptional to achieve great things but who cares? It feels awesome, this feeling, while it lasts.
>>256125
Beat up the guy and get your money back. If you will be homeless you don't have anything to lose.
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>>256090
This used to be my go to guide. I just focus on 2-3 exercise and do it 3 times a week when I am not depressed. It's based on the book Convict Conditioning that you can read too. I am also afraid of gymbrahs or rather I am afraid of humans in general. I am even afraid of my own family members watching me exercise so I do as much of it in my room as I can. Had to give up on the handstands because there is no space to do it in my room and I don't like doing it where people can see me.
This used to be my go to guide. I just focus on 2-3 exercise and do it 3 times a week when I am not depressed. It's based on the book Convict Conditioning that you can read too. I am also afraid of gymbrahs or rather I am afraid of humans in general. I am even afraid of my own family members watching me exercise so I do as much of it in my room as I can. Had to give up on the handstands because there is no space to do it in my room and I don't like doing it where people can see me.
>>256158
>It's based on the book Convict Conditioning that you can read too.
FUCKING THANK YOU. I've tried asking this sort of question on this board before and either get NO replies, or a bunch of fuckheads telling me "Go ask that on the exercise thread" only to get NO replies. This is awesome, thanks.
>It's based on the book Convict Conditioning that you can read too.
FUCKING THANK YOU. I've tried asking this sort of question on this board before and either get NO replies, or a bunch of fuckheads telling me "Go ask that on the exercise thread" only to get NO replies. This is awesome, thanks.
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my life is very fragile. there are so many things that could go wrong. the wind could blow everything away. i wish i could express how i feel. so free and awesome. i cant express what i feel, but with time ill be able to show some of the things i can see. ill be truly useful, ill be able to shine a bright light on your path, and if you hold my hand youll never be lost again. computers and computing give me freedom. im walking through the door to another world. im leaving this universe. im becoming a different person. its wonderful, spectacular, amazing, incredible. but at the same time everything could be wrong. i could be witnessing something only i will ever see. a one of a kind flower that blossoms and dies without being seen. i dont know. im sorry, thank you and goodbye.
>>256174
You sound like that femalebrained anon who blogpost about his (her?) life in /b/.
I can not relate nor understand your unintelligible talk.
You sound like that femalebrained anon who blogpost about his (her?) life in /b/.
I can not relate nor understand your unintelligible talk.
This feeling, when you find a goal, no, THE goal of life. The meaning, the objective value. Wonderful. My whole life was unlimited wiz works. I will sacrifice my life to the promotion of the wizardly life. That is the duty of every wise and virtous person.
>>256174
If you don't post here in 10 years explaining how you cured cancer or something i'll be disappointed
If you don't post here in 10 years explaining how you cured cancer or something i'll be disappointed
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i was feeling pretty good earlier and i just woke up feeling absolutely dead
just empty, nothing going on, nothing to look forward to, goddamn
for some reason water tastes especially nice though, maybe my bad diet is catching up to me
peace upon all my fellow wizbros
just empty, nothing going on, nothing to look forward to, goddamn
for some reason water tastes especially nice though, maybe my bad diet is catching up to me
peace upon all my fellow wizbros
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>>256216
quantum computing, cryptology, artificial intelligence. anything related to pure and applied mathematics, physics and computer science.
words cannot describe how much fear i feel. its like jumping into a dark abyss, collapsing into a black hole, diving head first into an ocean, taking the first steps in an entirely unexplored world. but im going to do it. im afraid, im afraid, im scared, this is scary, im doing something very scary inside myself. but i feel so free. and i feel so free but i think im not going to make it. i feel so free but i think ill die without letting others know what im like. i dont know. i think i can be very useful and i can show you things only i can see, i can only hope im going to make it.
i dont know. theres something i wanted sure to get across, i hope i got it across somehow. i feel awesome but im very afraid. i think theres something very special inside me but it might die.
im sorry, thank you and goodbye.
quantum computing, cryptology, artificial intelligence. anything related to pure and applied mathematics, physics and computer science.
words cannot describe how much fear i feel. its like jumping into a dark abyss, collapsing into a black hole, diving head first into an ocean, taking the first steps in an entirely unexplored world. but im going to do it. im afraid, im afraid, im scared, this is scary, im doing something very scary inside myself. but i feel so free. and i feel so free but i think im not going to make it. i feel so free but i think ill die without letting others know what im like. i dont know. i think i can be very useful and i can show you things only i can see, i can only hope im going to make it.
i dont know. theres something i wanted sure to get across, i hope i got it across somehow. i feel awesome but im very afraid. i think theres something very special inside me but it might die.
im sorry, thank you and goodbye.
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Live has quickly turned from bearable to a literal hell so quickly after injuring my back, which has now become a chronic pain. Every day I have to work with an exhausting stiffness in my back, it never breaks through into true physical pain but just maintains itself at a level of continuous pressure on my spine and tightness in my muscles. A discomfort reserved for those in hell.
I am exhausted every day and every day I wish I could kill myself. I hap planned to kill myself at 17 but events out of my control prevented me being able to make use of my chosen location afterward I had been too demoralized to do anything but resign myself to life.
Before I had managed to maintain a contentedness with life, of course still wishing no never have been, but managing to live a hedonistic life reading books and enjoying them until I eventually die.
Now at 25 all that fills my mind is the pain in my back, how I could possibly relieve it and how I can kill myself without harming my single remaining family member as well as how to die in a way where I do not suffer any pain. But I have no hope of any of that. I feel like a walking corpse, by body decaying faster than I can keep up with I'm horrified of what I'll turn out to be if I live any longer.
I am exhausted every day and every day I wish I could kill myself. I hap planned to kill myself at 17 but events out of my control prevented me being able to make use of my chosen location afterward I had been too demoralized to do anything but resign myself to life.
Before I had managed to maintain a contentedness with life, of course still wishing no never have been, but managing to live a hedonistic life reading books and enjoying them until I eventually die.
Now at 25 all that fills my mind is the pain in my back, how I could possibly relieve it and how I can kill myself without harming my single remaining family member as well as how to die in a way where I do not suffer any pain. But I have no hope of any of that. I feel like a walking corpse, by body decaying faster than I can keep up with I'm horrified of what I'll turn out to be if I live any longer.
I'm afraid to commit suicide because I worry that once I die, I will experience something worse than my current life.
I'm afraid there will be life after death, stuck in a constant loop. I'm afraid I will wake up in a life that is far worse than my current life or wake up in the same life.
I wish there was nothingness after death, I wish it were true. I would sleep easy at night if that were true, but I doubt it is.
I'm getting teary eyed writing this because I'm afraid we're all stuck in hell.
I'm afraid there will be life after death, stuck in a constant loop. I'm afraid I will wake up in a life that is far worse than my current life or wake up in the same life.
I wish there was nothingness after death, I wish it were true. I would sleep easy at night if that were true, but I doubt it is.
I'm getting teary eyed writing this because I'm afraid we're all stuck in hell.
>>256256
I believe this life is a punishment for something I did. This world is a layer of hell.
I believe this life is a punishment for something I did. This world is a layer of hell.
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>>256256
Your intuition is likely correct. Focus on fixing your psychospiritual mutilations before you die.
Your intuition is likely correct. Focus on fixing your psychospiritual mutilations before you die.
>>256256
We all have eternal life. And while I'm sure God would actually understand why you did what you did and would show you mercy (it's only retarded traditions within religion that portray suicide as a great sin) and would welcome you into his realm after putting you through purgatory, suicide isn't the perfect solution. You were put on this earth to do good and help others. You won't find peace in death, you will find it through God only.
>>256264
Nobody is punished for anything. This is just a test to see whether you want to live with God or without him in the long run. Those who desire God will go to Heaven, those who refuse him go to hell.
We all have eternal life. And while I'm sure God would actually understand why you did what you did and would show you mercy (it's only retarded traditions within religion that portray suicide as a great sin) and would welcome you into his realm after putting you through purgatory, suicide isn't the perfect solution. You were put on this earth to do good and help others. You won't find peace in death, you will find it through God only.
>>256264
Nobody is punished for anything. This is just a test to see whether you want to live with God or without him in the long run. Those who desire God will go to Heaven, those who refuse him go to hell.
Just saw a webm of a mouse being tortured. The dude cut its dick off with scissors; it was already pinned down to paper and missing a leg that had been ripped off I guess. It was going crazy from the pain but couldn't go anywhere.
It has truly deflated anything positive or wanting inside of me. More than any gore has in a long time. This world should be un-made.
It has truly deflated anything positive or wanting inside of me. More than any gore has in a long time. This world should be un-made.
I am unable to remain consistent on any of the goals i set out for myself. I recently bought a digital piano with the intention of steadily learning it over time, but I had a mental breakdown and got bored of it and sold it. This capricious nature that i have is not settling perfectly well with me. If I am unable to be consistent with anything, then what is the point of trying anything or attempting to have a good life? My greatest fear is the prospect of returning to a life of homelessness and jail. I really wish that I was a completely logical animal. The uncertainty of the future is very hard to stomach and I am a very unhappy person.
>>256309
You could tell me I'm going to be homeless in 1 hour if I don't do something totally trivial and I would just walk out the door with my stuff.
I am incapable of doing anything
You could tell me I'm going to be homeless in 1 hour if I don't do something totally trivial and I would just walk out the door with my stuff.
I am incapable of doing anything
going to be travelling for a month this summer. i am a wizard so i am poor which means i will have to stay at hostels. how can i cope being forced to be around all these hyper social hyper sexual norm groids? i just want horrible things to happen to all of them
>>256311
If you're poor then why you travel? Is work? Better spend that money on some games or drugs instead.
If you're poor then why you travel? Is work? Better spend that money on some games or drugs instead.
God, I wish there was relief.
There is no relief. My whole world is circling around me trying to muster up the courage to finally end it.
I can't stop crying. I've dug my own grave, there is no escaping this one. I can't go on living like this. I don't do anything anymore as I'm petrified from absolute fear and shame.
I wish I could change my name and assume a new identity, but that isn't possible because there would be court records. I want a fresh slate from the burdens I'm carrying.
There is no relief. My whole world is circling around me trying to muster up the courage to finally end it.
I can't stop crying. I've dug my own grave, there is no escaping this one. I can't go on living like this. I don't do anything anymore as I'm petrified from absolute fear and shame.
I wish I could change my name and assume a new identity, but that isn't possible because there would be court records. I want a fresh slate from the burdens I'm carrying.
>>256309
This goal-oriented thinking is crap most of the time. People only do whatever they at least moderately enjoy. You sold the instrument because you were forcing yourself to enjoy something you didn't care about.
Why not set realistic goals for yourself? "I'm going to watch this movie" "I'm going to read this book that interests me" etc etc.
This goal-oriented thinking is crap most of the time. People only do whatever they at least moderately enjoy. You sold the instrument because you were forcing yourself to enjoy something you didn't care about.
Why not set realistic goals for yourself? "I'm going to watch this movie" "I'm going to read this book that interests me" etc etc.
>>256312
>If you're poor then why you travel?
i got a free round trip flight to europe so i can travel cheaply and make it work.
>If you're poor then why you travel?
i got a free round trip flight to europe so i can travel cheaply and make it work.
>>256320
this is very true from my experience. there are many things that i think would be good for me to do, but i have no desire to do them.
this is very true from my experience. there are many things that i think would be good for me to do, but i have no desire to do them.
Here it is again, the inevitable march of bullshit international politics of war and hate and bullshit inflation economies that have nothing to do with me, driving up the prices for food and clothing and whatever other needs that I have until I can't afford to live anymore.
This job I stressed myself so much to get, and keep stressing to maintain, is no longer making me enough money to stay in the green. I feel like I got where I am through a stroke of godly miracle, and not even 8 months later, I need another one to stay afloat. There's no end to it. Nothing got better in the last year - I'm more tired, have a shorter attention span, worse health, still no social life, and now, again, no financial stability.
I thought I'd at least get to keep in contact with a guy I got on well with from the last job, but no - he ghosted me from the moment we parted ways. That likely means I was the only one who thought we had something good going, while in actuality I was merely tolerated by him while we were stuck together. It's fucked up that I even considered a different possibility, really - naivete and hope still takes hold of me sometimes, only making the obvious outcome hurt more than it could've.
This job I stressed myself so much to get, and keep stressing to maintain, is no longer making me enough money to stay in the green. I feel like I got where I am through a stroke of godly miracle, and not even 8 months later, I need another one to stay afloat. There's no end to it. Nothing got better in the last year - I'm more tired, have a shorter attention span, worse health, still no social life, and now, again, no financial stability.
I thought I'd at least get to keep in contact with a guy I got on well with from the last job, but no - he ghosted me from the moment we parted ways. That likely means I was the only one who thought we had something good going, while in actuality I was merely tolerated by him while we were stuck together. It's fucked up that I even considered a different possibility, really - naivete and hope still takes hold of me sometimes, only making the obvious outcome hurt more than it could've.
Living with an incompetent family just never lets up
Your expectations are always too high
I told them to be careful with a loose tap for 12 hours until I can fix it and they nearly rip it out the wall
Assuming someone agreeing to be careful after you show them means they won’t just yank and twist it off the wall is too much of an expectation.
Your expectations are always too high
I told them to be careful with a loose tap for 12 hours until I can fix it and they nearly rip it out the wall
Assuming someone agreeing to be careful after you show them means they won’t just yank and twist it off the wall is too much of an expectation.
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felt good the last few days, had actual self esteem for a while, now im back to feeling like an ugly retard that wont be able to operate in meatspace
then i opened a youtube with a bunch of people humblebrag posting about what they enjoy in their life and i got really deflated
fucking gay world
then i opened a youtube with a bunch of people humblebrag posting about what they enjoy in their life and i got really deflated
fucking gay world
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I've decided on changing my name and moving across the country.
This has actually gave me the biggest relief I've ever felt. I was dangerously suicidal and I thought there was no way out.
I'm not sure if I should hire a lawyer to help me though. I'm still researching.
This has actually gave me the biggest relief I've ever felt. I was dangerously suicidal and I thought there was no way out.
I'm not sure if I should hire a lawyer to help me though. I'm still researching.
>>256382
You can't run from your past, Don. That racist post you made back then will never be forgotten.
You can't run from your past, Don. That racist post you made back then will never be forgotten.
>>255959
Even if I don't agree with anything he says, hearing his rants is always very comfy. I remember I used to put his videos on the background while grinding on RPG's or playing Touhou. I don't know much of his personal life but he's very wizardly.
Even if I don't agree with anything he says, hearing his rants is always very comfy. I remember I used to put his videos on the background while grinding on RPG's or playing Touhou. I don't know much of his personal life but he's very wizardly.
I am forced by my evil, cruel parents to memorize 2800 questions for the most ridiculous entrance exam(yea, 3rd world things). I have finished university and they want me to do this internship so to say to have better prospects.
I don't know how am i supposed to do this, i want to kill myself every day
I don't know how am i supposed to do this, i want to kill myself every day
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>>255887
I fucking can't stand be sober, now I completely understand drug addicts in general. I fucking hate my existence so much, every second is pain and all I wanna do is rot in my bed, I don't wanna do anything or enjoy anything ever since I quit recently. I don't know if these are symptoms of withdrawal but god damn I fucking hate life with such a great passion at this point.
I fucking can't stand be sober, now I completely understand drug addicts in general. I fucking hate my existence so much, every second is pain and all I wanna do is rot in my bed, I don't wanna do anything or enjoy anything ever since I quit recently. I don't know if these are symptoms of withdrawal but god damn I fucking hate life with such a great passion at this point.
>>256392
Yop, this will be the rest of your life. Welcome to hell. Death is the only freedom.
Yop, this will be the rest of your life. Welcome to hell. Death is the only freedom.
>>256392
Doing drugs is opening Pandora's box. The thing is everyone chases chemical reward anyway, but those not initiated to how high the highs can soar are unconscious to it and so they draw a distinction between indulging in strong substances and eating food, having sex, playing video games, winning money through horseracing or at the slots, etc. These things can make people feel good, really good even, but they can't make you feel like you're on a rollercoaster to the moon so effortlessly or often as drugs can.
Doing drugs is opening Pandora's box. The thing is everyone chases chemical reward anyway, but those not initiated to how high the highs can soar are unconscious to it and so they draw a distinction between indulging in strong substances and eating food, having sex, playing video games, winning money through horseracing or at the slots, etc. These things can make people feel good, really good even, but they can't make you feel like you're on a rollercoaster to the moon so effortlessly or often as drugs can.
>>256392
imagine you could just take one painkiller and feel like it's the best day of your life, thats what opiates are like
imagine you could just take one painkiller and feel like it's the best day of your life, thats what opiates are like
>>256395
Friend I was straight edge for 26 years before I indulged in drugs. I can safely say the sober life is not worth it.
Friend I was straight edge for 26 years before I indulged in drugs. I can safely say the sober life is not worth it.
>>256412
Also straight edge for 26 years here. Being sober is fine, your life just sucked, sorry to say.
Also straight edge for 26 years here. Being sober is fine, your life just sucked, sorry to say.
>>256433
I care, because I don't like seeing the stupid conclusion that sobriety was the cause for your problems and that a pit of addiction and substance abuse will do anything for you.
I care, because I don't like seeing the stupid conclusion that sobriety was the cause for your problems and that a pit of addiction and substance abuse will do anything for you.
Everything is so fucking boring. Even stupid shit like reading or playing games or watching something is not only unbelievably dull, but also just exhausting. I don't get how people do anything, yet alone so much. It takes so much effort, and there's so little reward.
>>256437
Except nobody said that. What was actually said is that mindlessly choosing sobriety is stupid because you're denying yourself pleasure that is otherwise unobtainable and you are still an addict for other, weaker chemicals anyway.
Except nobody said that. What was actually said is that mindlessly choosing sobriety is stupid because you're denying yourself pleasure that is otherwise unobtainable and you are still an addict for other, weaker chemicals anyway.
>>256448
exactly. all of life is about enjoying fleeting pleasure, in whatever form you can find it. Drugs are fucking great and can seriously enhance your life, as long as you arent a retard about it. I cant get over how pathetic the average person is to have such low trust in their own self-control abilities
exactly. all of life is about enjoying fleeting pleasure, in whatever form you can find it. Drugs are fucking great and can seriously enhance your life, as long as you arent a retard about it. I cant get over how pathetic the average person is to have such low trust in their own self-control abilities
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Please rate my story and sufferings, thanks
I was born with autism. People always liked me in my early life, I was a loner that used to pace back and forth, but I was affable and had friends I hung out with on the weekends. I grew up in a single mother household, and lived a pretty normal white trash life, apart from the fact that I sat around playing video games and reading books all day.
Then when I was eighteen, my dad came and said I was going to live with him and work and become a man. And something instinctual came into effect, I was like, yeah okay, and fanatically I did everything he said. The hypersensitivity drove me insane, every slam of the hammer, every touch of steel drove into me and weared me down. I was soon psychotic and hearing voices, and he'd nutter off at me and call me attention seeking, saying I was just like my mother and shame me constantly. So I ended up loading up on anti-psychotic medication to make the sensations not felt, and in between visits to institutions I worked as a demolition man and a scaffolder, with earmuffs and gloves the hypersensitivity wasn't felt, and the psychotic episodes passed, and I could function somewhat normal.
Then the SNRI and anti-psychotics stopped working. And I started patrolling the streets, slitting tires and getting into fights. I got into trouble with gangs, punched over, robbed. Now here I am, violent and unstable. Alone, with no friends, pining for my high school life where I could play Halo 3 with my friends and all this scary shit didn't happen.
I was born with autism. People always liked me in my early life, I was a loner that used to pace back and forth, but I was affable and had friends I hung out with on the weekends. I grew up in a single mother household, and lived a pretty normal white trash life, apart from the fact that I sat around playing video games and reading books all day.
Then when I was eighteen, my dad came and said I was going to live with him and work and become a man. And something instinctual came into effect, I was like, yeah okay, and fanatically I did everything he said. The hypersensitivity drove me insane, every slam of the hammer, every touch of steel drove into me and weared me down. I was soon psychotic and hearing voices, and he'd nutter off at me and call me attention seeking, saying I was just like my mother and shame me constantly. So I ended up loading up on anti-psychotic medication to make the sensations not felt, and in between visits to institutions I worked as a demolition man and a scaffolder, with earmuffs and gloves the hypersensitivity wasn't felt, and the psychotic episodes passed, and I could function somewhat normal.
Then the SNRI and anti-psychotics stopped working. And I started patrolling the streets, slitting tires and getting into fights. I got into trouble with gangs, punched over, robbed. Now here I am, violent and unstable. Alone, with no friends, pining for my high school life where I could play Halo 3 with my friends and all this scary shit didn't happen.
Growing up in a household with domestic violence made me fear my life everyday. It was one thing to go to school and be tortured by groids, but waiting to be killed in your own house, even normalgroids shouldn't experience that.
>>256459
It's such a shame you have to experience that, it's a unecessary stupid experience only to make you hate the world even more than ever.
It's such a shame you have to experience that, it's a unecessary stupid experience only to make you hate the world even more than ever.
I'm having a hard time summoning the will to live. It just doesn't seem like there's anything worth going on for. I was determined that I can't kill myself until I have my own place to live and decided if it's worth it then, but I don't feel like that'll make anything any better right now. I'm at home and off work but I feel just as shit as any other day. I just can't find the value in my life.
>>256447
I know what you mean, just trying to fulfill my obligations is enough to get me exhausted, just doing the absolute bare minimum, and doing it poorly too, but when I look at the people around me they fulfill their obligations, many times exceling them, and they have other personal projects they're working on, they go to the gym, they have other hobbies, they go out with their friends or SO, etc. I don't know what's worse, feeling so drained all of the time, or being judged by others because I don't have it in me to do so much like they do.
I know what you mean, just trying to fulfill my obligations is enough to get me exhausted, just doing the absolute bare minimum, and doing it poorly too, but when I look at the people around me they fulfill their obligations, many times exceling them, and they have other personal projects they're working on, they go to the gym, they have other hobbies, they go out with their friends or SO, etc. I don't know what's worse, feeling so drained all of the time, or being judged by others because I don't have it in me to do so much like they do.
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I wish I had the life of some of you here.
I'd switch my life with someone here in an instant. I wish I had a loving mother and I wish I could wash away all the baggage I'm currently carrying.
I'd switch lives in an instant. All the stupid inane bullshit people whine about on here are pale in comparison to what I have to deal with.
I have to change my name and move across the country while having nobody. This is a months long process and it will cost me a lot of money. All of my job history will be erased. All of my contacts will be erased. Everything on my computer will be wiped. Everything about me will be erased.
I will be starting new with no one to back me up. I can stomach it because I'm resilient. I just laugh at all the petty shit people on here love to whine about.
I'd switch my life with someone here in an instant. I wish I had a loving mother and I wish I could wash away all the baggage I'm currently carrying.
I'd switch lives in an instant. All the stupid inane bullshit people whine about on here are pale in comparison to what I have to deal with.
I have to change my name and move across the country while having nobody. This is a months long process and it will cost me a lot of money. All of my job history will be erased. All of my contacts will be erased. Everything on my computer will be wiped. Everything about me will be erased.
I will be starting new with no one to back me up. I can stomach it because I'm resilient. I just laugh at all the petty shit people on here love to whine about.
>>256478
Our perception of our own suffering is not something 100% objective that you can rank and/or put on a scale, anything like that, because it depends a lot on our life experiences and interactions with the environment around us. Everyone's pain is real to them. If we go by a deterministic point of view, if you had lived the same life of the people you're complaining about from the start, you'd end up having the same experiences and would be "whining" here just the same. I'm not trying to say I don't empathize with what you're going through right now, it does sound rough and I hope you can pull through, I just ask you to not put other people's suffering down, because it's not a competition. We're in a depression board, no one is here because their lives are perfect and/or they're happy, we're all suffering enough already, so let's not judge each other, because from my experience the approach of telling a depressed person that they're being whiny and have nothing to complain about doesn't make them stop feeling bad, they keep feeling bad, but now they also feel bad about feeling bad, so the suffering just increases. Once again I want to make clear that I'm not upset or trying to call you out in a rude manner, anything along those lines, I'm just asking that we all be sympathetic to people's struggles here, in the same way I'm sure everyone here will sympathize with your current struggles, which do sound difficult and painful. I wish you good luck on your new life.
Our perception of our own suffering is not something 100% objective that you can rank and/or put on a scale, anything like that, because it depends a lot on our life experiences and interactions with the environment around us. Everyone's pain is real to them. If we go by a deterministic point of view, if you had lived the same life of the people you're complaining about from the start, you'd end up having the same experiences and would be "whining" here just the same. I'm not trying to say I don't empathize with what you're going through right now, it does sound rough and I hope you can pull through, I just ask you to not put other people's suffering down, because it's not a competition. We're in a depression board, no one is here because their lives are perfect and/or they're happy, we're all suffering enough already, so let's not judge each other, because from my experience the approach of telling a depressed person that they're being whiny and have nothing to complain about doesn't make them stop feeling bad, they keep feeling bad, but now they also feel bad about feeling bad, so the suffering just increases. Once again I want to make clear that I'm not upset or trying to call you out in a rude manner, anything along those lines, I'm just asking that we all be sympathetic to people's struggles here, in the same way I'm sure everyone here will sympathize with your current struggles, which do sound difficult and painful. I wish you good luck on your new life.
>>256478
>I have to change my name and move across the country while having nobody.
No you don’t. You are a mentalcel. Get some help instead. You are such a hypocrite, all your problems are a result of your disoriented mind and not actually real
>I have to change my name and move across the country while having nobody.
No you don’t. You are a mentalcel. Get some help instead. You are such a hypocrite, all your problems are a result of your disoriented mind and not actually real
>>256482
What a amazing post honestly. I never understood whining about other people lives because they have it so much worse apparently. Chester Bennington had money, succubi, kids and fans all alike, he was really rich too and yet he still killed himself. Everyone suffers one way or another, we should all try to support each other instead of being jealous.
What a amazing post honestly. I never understood whining about other people lives because they have it so much worse apparently. Chester Bennington had money, succubi, kids and fans all alike, he was really rich too and yet he still killed himself. Everyone suffers one way or another, we should all try to support each other instead of being jealous.
>>256485
yeah i always hated the "first world problems" insult, since its not like the assholes using it are saints dedicated to improving the 3rd world themselves.
yeah i always hated the "first world problems" insult, since its not like the assholes using it are saints dedicated to improving the 3rd world themselves.
>>256452
I'm that pathetic, I thought quitting weed will help me but i'm still as miserable before and after I took the devil lettuce, god I don't know what to do with my life anymore, I just don't wanna exist and want my head to finally shut the fuck up.
I'm that pathetic, I thought quitting weed will help me but i'm still as miserable before and after I took the devil lettuce, god I don't know what to do with my life anymore, I just don't wanna exist and want my head to finally shut the fuck up.
>>256486
>>256485
>>256482
Respectfully disagree. Thoughts create feelings, feelings create behavior, and behavior reinforces thoughts. But since you are rational and therefore free, you can change the way you think about things and make the bad feelings go away. This is why I have an abundance of contempt for the self described “mentally ill”, “depressed” females, dopers, and “suicidal” rich people. They materially have everything they needed to be happy, but they chose to be unhappy instead. These ungrateful lowlifes are the worst kinds of people, the subhumans whose only issue is that they are purposefully injurious to themselves, something they can easily prevent, but instead they go on and on “woe is me”, rolling in the mud until they put themselves out of their self inflicted misery. If you put a wizard NEET in their shoes, gave him money and sex and love and success and social status and health, all of his depression would go away.
>>256485
>>256482
Respectfully disagree. Thoughts create feelings, feelings create behavior, and behavior reinforces thoughts. But since you are rational and therefore free, you can change the way you think about things and make the bad feelings go away. This is why I have an abundance of contempt for the self described “mentally ill”, “depressed” females, dopers, and “suicidal” rich people. They materially have everything they needed to be happy, but they chose to be unhappy instead. These ungrateful lowlifes are the worst kinds of people, the subhumans whose only issue is that they are purposefully injurious to themselves, something they can easily prevent, but instead they go on and on “woe is me”, rolling in the mud until they put themselves out of their self inflicted misery. If you put a wizard NEET in their shoes, gave him money and sex and love and success and social status and health, all of his depression would go away.
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im scared. im close to becoming a different person. i feel a lot of loneliness. i have to dive into my own world and forget about everything else. i have to accept im a monster and that ill never be like everyone else. im scared. i wish i could express everything i feel and everything i see. i promise i can give you so much. i want to make everyone happy, i want to give important things, i think i can. i just hope ill make it through the next 10 years, and that ill have a little of life left after that. i dont know im sorry thank you and goodbye. ill get real now. really real. sorry. sorry a lot.
>>256493
Nobody would choose to be unhappy you fucking retard. And even if they did or could, then they'd be classified as mentally ill.
Nobody would choose to be unhappy you fucking retard. And even if they did or could, then they'd be classified as mentally ill.
>>256501
>Nobody would choose to be unhappy you fucking retard
People do it all the time. In fact, everybody does it, just to different extents. Like think about when eve could of just spent an eternity in paradise basking in the glory of her creator, but instead chose to eat the forbidden fruit and live a shitty mortal life. People willingly do things injurious to themselves to prove that they are free and not just mindless automatons. Read notes from underground
>Nobody would choose to be unhappy you fucking retard
People do it all the time. In fact, everybody does it, just to different extents. Like think about when eve could of just spent an eternity in paradise basking in the glory of her creator, but instead chose to eat the forbidden fruit and live a shitty mortal life. People willingly do things injurious to themselves to prove that they are free and not just mindless automatons. Read notes from underground
>>255887
Why are normfaggots so bad at giving advice? Its the same "take your time, things will get better" bullshit.
To be honest there is not much anyone could say to make me feel better.
Why are normfaggots so bad at giving advice? Its the same "take your time, things will get better" bullshit.
To be honest there is not much anyone could say to make me feel better.
>>256513
because normalfaggots get everything handed to them, they never have to struggle. their worst emotional agony is when they piss off their mom or something. people who give good advice are people who have gone through some experience and learned something
because normalfaggots get everything handed to them, they never have to struggle. their worst emotional agony is when they piss off their mom or something. people who give good advice are people who have gone through some experience and learned something
>>256432
the most lame boring people on the face of the planet call themselves "straightedge" . let me gie you a hint no one fucking cares its literally pointless. if you ain't getting high youre basically a boring person anyway.
the most lame boring people on the face of the planet call themselves "straightedge" . let me gie you a hint no one fucking cares its literally pointless. if you ain't getting high youre basically a boring person anyway.
>>256489
quitting weed is a meme. life doesn't get better it becomes worse without weed, thast why people smoke in the first place to give them good feelings.
quitting weed is a meme. life doesn't get better it becomes worse without weed, thast why people smoke in the first place to give them good feelings.
I used to love anime, watched almost all shows every season and dedicated a very big part of my time to it.
But not anymore, I have not watched anything seriously for like 3 years now, the constant repetition of the same themes along with the fact that anime is probably the most normalfag and mainstream thing out there now killed the hobby for me.
The same happens with every little thing that makes me happy it seems.
But not anymore, I have not watched anything seriously for like 3 years now, the constant repetition of the same themes along with the fact that anime is probably the most normalfag and mainstream thing out there now killed the hobby for me.
The same happens with every little thing that makes me happy it seems.
>>256527
You just grew out of it. And I don't mean this as in you got more mature, you just saw all you wanted to see. The same thing more or less happened to me.
You just grew out of it. And I don't mean this as in you got more mature, you just saw all you wanted to see. The same thing more or less happened to me.
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>>256525
I should of kept my mouth shut and not bring so much attention to myself god i'm a fucking retard. Smoking weed isn't bad if you're not obnoxious about it and only do it in your home, but my parents eventually found it because I was being such a fucktard with it.
I should of kept my mouth shut and not bring so much attention to myself god i'm a fucking retard. Smoking weed isn't bad if you're not obnoxious about it and only do it in your home, but my parents eventually found it because I was being such a fucktard with it.
I'm also going to have to trade in my car after I change my name, so nobody can track me from my VIN number.
>>256493
>>256512
I agree more or less. I hate this whole thing about "everybody suffers equally :(" No, it's a lie. There are levels between suffering. A NEET living in Scandinavia or somewhere else where he can live comfily without working but is depressed because of existential crisis doesn't feel the same despair as someone in a prison in Madagascar, living in a cell that is made for 30 persons but holds 300 criminals who regularly rape and beat each other for fun, sleeps on the ground with bugs and such and eats rotten food. I hate it when privileged people whine. Of course, what is privileged? Depends on your situation what you consider that.
I don't care about sex or succubi or friends but if I had money and health for granted for the rest of my life then I would be content. I would enjoy life very much.
I hate this succubi-like "logic", when they feel sorry for celebrities with billions of cash and for Princess Diana or Michael Jackson or who the fuck, because supposedly they had a "sad life". Yeah right, but they lived in incredible luxury, they forget that.
Rich people who get addicted to drugs, alcohol or get into some unnecessary trouble with the law because they are bored are the worst. They have no excuse for anything.
>>256527
Why do you care whether normals watch anime or not? Everything is made by normalfags for normalfags. By this logic you shouldn't watch or read anything.
>>256512
I agree more or less. I hate this whole thing about "everybody suffers equally :(" No, it's a lie. There are levels between suffering. A NEET living in Scandinavia or somewhere else where he can live comfily without working but is depressed because of existential crisis doesn't feel the same despair as someone in a prison in Madagascar, living in a cell that is made for 30 persons but holds 300 criminals who regularly rape and beat each other for fun, sleeps on the ground with bugs and such and eats rotten food. I hate it when privileged people whine. Of course, what is privileged? Depends on your situation what you consider that.
I don't care about sex or succubi or friends but if I had money and health for granted for the rest of my life then I would be content. I would enjoy life very much.
I hate this succubi-like "logic", when they feel sorry for celebrities with billions of cash and for Princess Diana or Michael Jackson or who the fuck, because supposedly they had a "sad life". Yeah right, but they lived in incredible luxury, they forget that.
Rich people who get addicted to drugs, alcohol or get into some unnecessary trouble with the law because they are bored are the worst. They have no excuse for anything.
>>256527
Why do you care whether normals watch anime or not? Everything is made by normalfags for normalfags. By this logic you shouldn't watch or read anything.
>>256514
this isn't really true. normalidiots still go thru things and struggle, they just have an overall better attitude on life for some reason.
this isn't really true. normalidiots still go thru things and struggle, they just have an overall better attitude on life for some reason.
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>>256532
>normalidiots still go thru things and struggle
not to the same extent we do. here's some food for thought for you. the fertility rate among the mentally ill is substantially lower than that of NTs. furthermore, within the mentally ill, mentally ill males have a substantially lower fertility rate than mentally ill succs. succs with "mental illness" are usually reproducing twice as much as mentally ill men. so its pretty clear to me how men become wizards, and why the same thing isnt happening to succs
>normalidiots still go thru things and struggle
not to the same extent we do. here's some food for thought for you. the fertility rate among the mentally ill is substantially lower than that of NTs. furthermore, within the mentally ill, mentally ill males have a substantially lower fertility rate than mentally ill succs. succs with "mental illness" are usually reproducing twice as much as mentally ill men. so its pretty clear to me how men become wizards, and why the same thing isnt happening to succs
>>256531
So are you saying you also have it worse than a starving African child or trafficked child being sold into sex slavery? If not then you shouldn't be depressed and you have no problems at all!
So are you saying you also have it worse than a starving African child or trafficked child being sold into sex slavery? If not then you shouldn't be depressed and you have no problems at all!
>>256540
>So are you saying you also have it worse than a starving African child or trafficked child being sold into sex slavery?
not him but yes. worse or at the least equivalent
>So are you saying you also have it worse than a starving African child or trafficked child being sold into sex slavery?
not him but yes. worse or at the least equivalent
>>256542
You have access to internet while people are being kidnapped, raped, tortured, starving, lynched, and way worse things as we speak, but yes a 30 year old virgin neet who probably eats fast food and faps to cartoons got it waay worse.
You have access to internet while people are being kidnapped, raped, tortured, starving, lynched, and way worse things as we speak, but yes a 30 year old virgin neet who probably eats fast food and faps to cartoons got it waay worse.
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>>256543
like starving african children and trafficked children being sold into sex slavery, my basic physiological needs are not being met, since i am not having sex, although i have other things like safety and food. the trafficked child being sold into sex slavery is having sex while being deprived of other things, so my suffering is equivalent to him or her. furthermore, this places my suffering way below that of a normalshitter, whose suffering is usually shit like having a stressful day at work or getting caught having an affair
like starving african children and trafficked children being sold into sex slavery, my basic physiological needs are not being met, since i am not having sex, although i have other things like safety and food. the trafficked child being sold into sex slavery is having sex while being deprived of other things, so my suffering is equivalent to him or her. furthermore, this places my suffering way below that of a normalshitter, whose suffering is usually shit like having a stressful day at work or getting caught having an affair
>>256544
Hmmm, i see, relative suffering.
XXXXX <-(project your status here) wizards might fail to understand this perspective.
I believe they see things as for what they are (pain in scales) and don't abstract things.
Hmmm, i see, relative suffering.
XXXXX <-(project your status here) wizards might fail to understand this perspective.
I believe they see things as for what they are (pain in scales) and don't abstract things.
>>256544
In order to properly judge things adecuately, i believe that two person with the same background (Basically clones?), should be subjected to two different sufferings, in that moment, we can truly measure who suffers more and who suffers less
In order to properly judge things adecuately, i believe that two person with the same background (Basically clones?), should be subjected to two different sufferings, in that moment, we can truly measure who suffers more and who suffers less
>>256545
>>256546
fucking cope. this is actual psychology, not just your pseud bullshit. sex is the most basic kind of need, akin to food, water, air, etc. because without these you disrupt the regulation of your body. you need sex to remain in homeostasis, people who arent having sex suffer the worst, on par with people dying of thirst, hunger, etc
>>256546
fucking cope. this is actual psychology, not just your pseud bullshit. sex is the most basic kind of need, akin to food, water, air, etc. because without these you disrupt the regulation of your body. you need sex to remain in homeostasis, people who arent having sex suffer the worst, on par with people dying of thirst, hunger, etc
>>256540
No, I don't have it worse at all, I have relatively minor problems compared to the example you mention. I realize lots of people have it way worse than me and that I'm lucky when it comes to lots of things.
>>256542
>>256544
Please shut up, you are embarassing yourself. You can satisfy your sexual needs via masturbation, that is all we need to say here. The child who is sold into sex slavery most likely doesn't enjoy it, as it is a pretty horrible experience that can cause serious trauma.
Most people here don't have it that bad at all, at least the majority are born into privileged countries, that's something. Many people don't even have that. Most wizards don't know how good they have it, there are bigger problems in life than tfwnogf or tfwnofriends.
No, I don't have it worse at all, I have relatively minor problems compared to the example you mention. I realize lots of people have it way worse than me and that I'm lucky when it comes to lots of things.
>>256542
>>256544
Please shut up, you are embarassing yourself. You can satisfy your sexual needs via masturbation, that is all we need to say here. The child who is sold into sex slavery most likely doesn't enjoy it, as it is a pretty horrible experience that can cause serious trauma.
Most people here don't have it that bad at all, at least the majority are born into privileged countries, that's something. Many people don't even have that. Most wizards don't know how good they have it, there are bigger problems in life than tfwnogf or tfwnofriends.
>>256549
Fucking lol'd. Maslow pyramid is nothing more than normalfag psychology forced onto everyone. Sex is nowhere near a basic need, maybe if you watch porn 24 hours a day or if you are a mindless norm who is controlled by his animal urges only. You'd know if you actually had empathy that there are way bigger issues and horrors in life than not being able to have sex. Grow the fuck up.
Fucking lol'd. Maslow pyramid is nothing more than normalfag psychology forced onto everyone. Sex is nowhere near a basic need, maybe if you watch porn 24 hours a day or if you are a mindless norm who is controlled by his animal urges only. You'd know if you actually had empathy that there are way bigger issues and horrors in life than not being able to have sex. Grow the fuck up.
>>256549
I fail to see how my perspective is not in armony with your statement.
Due to biological differences, two sexless person might not be suffering the same amount.
This is where our arguments depart, as you set every person to be equal, and i set every person to be different, to equally be able to scale suffering, we need to abstract things.
Your premise is that we all are the same, so two sexless person suffer the same, either you already finished abstracting or you didn't. Compare a monk to a crab, both sexless but only one suffers.
Why do i say "you already finished abstracting"? because two crabs might be suffering because of the lack of sex, but keep in mind that due to biological differences, the amount of suffering might be different, so you abstracted to compensate, but is also possible that you didn't abstracted.
>>256551
Wizard, did you know that the brain changes after first real sexual contact?, and having a relationship with a succubus affects the psyche?
Masturbation only does the job for a moment.
We should keep the scope of the conversation to the goal we are trying to achieve.
Imagine that everyone has a perfect life in every corner of the planet. that procrastination is the biggest issue that most presidents are trying to solve, then it doesn't seems like a small problem doesn't it?.
I fail to see how my perspective is not in armony with your statement.
Due to biological differences, two sexless person might not be suffering the same amount.
This is where our arguments depart, as you set every person to be equal, and i set every person to be different, to equally be able to scale suffering, we need to abstract things.
Your premise is that we all are the same, so two sexless person suffer the same, either you already finished abstracting or you didn't. Compare a monk to a crab, both sexless but only one suffers.
Why do i say "you already finished abstracting"? because two crabs might be suffering because of the lack of sex, but keep in mind that due to biological differences, the amount of suffering might be different, so you abstracted to compensate, but is also possible that you didn't abstracted.
>>256551
Wizard, did you know that the brain changes after first real sexual contact?, and having a relationship with a succubus affects the psyche?
Masturbation only does the job for a moment.
We should keep the scope of the conversation to the goal we are trying to achieve.
Imagine that everyone has a perfect life in every corner of the planet. that procrastination is the biggest issue that most presidents are trying to solve, then it doesn't seems like a small problem doesn't it?.
>>256553
Sex does the job for a moment only, what is your point? There is no complete sexual satisfaction until you naturally start to lose interest in the thing due to biological changes that come with aging.
There is literally no difference between masturbation and sex as far as satisfaction goes. Normalfags of course try to fill your brain with shit like "doing it properly with a wo-man is wow dude there's nothing like it" but don't fall for it. You can get by just fine with masturbation. And you don't even need to do it that often.
Sex does the job for a moment only, what is your point? There is no complete sexual satisfaction until you naturally start to lose interest in the thing due to biological changes that come with aging.
There is literally no difference between masturbation and sex as far as satisfaction goes. Normalfags of course try to fill your brain with shit like "doing it properly with a wo-man is wow dude there's nothing like it" but don't fall for it. You can get by just fine with masturbation. And you don't even need to do it that often.
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>>256556
Then why my body asks for a gf?
Then why my body asks for a gf?
>>256556
Psychological changes happen in the brain when you enter a relationship, I've read about it once
Psychological changes happen in the brain when you enter a relationship, I've read about it once
>>256551
you are mad because i speak the truth. i gave you the cold hard facts. i know you might not like it because it is "cool" to hate on sexless males, and society tells us these people are loser deadbeats, but its the truth. sexless males are victims who deserve your sympathy just as much as starving africans, sex trafficking victims, and ukrainian refugees. the science shows it.
you are mad because i speak the truth. i gave you the cold hard facts. i know you might not like it because it is "cool" to hate on sexless males, and society tells us these people are loser deadbeats, but its the truth. sexless males are victims who deserve your sympathy just as much as starving africans, sex trafficking victims, and ukrainian refugees. the science shows it.
>>256557
Your body doesn't ask for a gf, it asks for sexual satisfaction and pleasure. Which you can give it by fapping too.
>>256559
>>256562
This is just part of the normalfag agenda. Living as a celibate person wasn't always as strange in history as it is nowadays. Like I said, Maslow is full of shit on this one. You can jerk off and go on with your business without any trouble. The need for a gf is a social expectation first of all. You think you are supposed to have sex or have a gf therefore you feel bad when you can't have that. Simple as that.
>>256560
It's exactly your logic which shows males who can't have sex as "loser deadbeats". Once you stop placing so much value on normshit things you won't care about sex at all.
Your body doesn't ask for a gf, it asks for sexual satisfaction and pleasure. Which you can give it by fapping too.
>>256559
>>256562
This is just part of the normalfag agenda. Living as a celibate person wasn't always as strange in history as it is nowadays. Like I said, Maslow is full of shit on this one. You can jerk off and go on with your business without any trouble. The need for a gf is a social expectation first of all. You think you are supposed to have sex or have a gf therefore you feel bad when you can't have that. Simple as that.
>>256560
It's exactly your logic which shows males who can't have sex as "loser deadbeats". Once you stop placing so much value on normshit things you won't care about sex at all.
>>256563
>Your body doesn't ask for a gf, it asks for sexual satisfaction and pleasure. Which you can give it by fapping too.
I mean like, emotional connection, i know is not sex.
Might be because im lonely.
>Your body doesn't ask for a gf, it asks for sexual satisfaction and pleasure. Which you can give it by fapping too.
I mean like, emotional connection, i know is not sex.
Might be because im lonely.
>>256563
The human body can tell the difference between sex with another human and masturbation. One involves pheromones and skin contact, among other differences. This is validated through empirical data. Lack of sexual contact leads to heart disease and stroke, increased cortisol, and many other chronic and severe health issues. Pretending it doesn't is something someone does in order to not have to concede an obvious point, or to cope with a dark and difficult truth.
The human body can tell the difference between sex with another human and masturbation. One involves pheromones and skin contact, among other differences. This is validated through empirical data. Lack of sexual contact leads to heart disease and stroke, increased cortisol, and many other chronic and severe health issues. Pretending it doesn't is something someone does in order to not have to concede an obvious point, or to cope with a dark and difficult truth.
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i wish i could express what i feel and what i can see.
the deeper i dive into computers and numbers the more amazing things i feel and see. the more i think my mind has been wired just for this. i see so many possibilities. there are so many big things just waiting to be made. with computers and mathematics i can make everything i can imagine and i can imagine anything. i feel so much power and freedom.
i love you so much. i believe in you so much. i want to give you the world. i want to give you freedom. i want to provide for you. i want to hear you and help you grow. i want to show you beautiful things.
im very afraid. when i read the news there are sad things happening all the time and it feels like a single feather out of place could make this world collapse. i hope it wont happen. i hope ill make through it.
sometimes i feel doubts. like maybe it would be better to use my freedom and my powers for myself. not in a way that would interfere in anyones lives but i mean sometimes i feel like i dont have to help others and live for myself.
i dont know it feels like changing something inside myself completely and im afraid of what comes next.
i dont know. sorry and thank you for reading.
the deeper i dive into computers and numbers the more amazing things i feel and see. the more i think my mind has been wired just for this. i see so many possibilities. there are so many big things just waiting to be made. with computers and mathematics i can make everything i can imagine and i can imagine anything. i feel so much power and freedom.
i love you so much. i believe in you so much. i want to give you the world. i want to give you freedom. i want to provide for you. i want to hear you and help you grow. i want to show you beautiful things.
im very afraid. when i read the news there are sad things happening all the time and it feels like a single feather out of place could make this world collapse. i hope it wont happen. i hope ill make through it.
sometimes i feel doubts. like maybe it would be better to use my freedom and my powers for myself. not in a way that would interfere in anyones lives but i mean sometimes i feel like i dont have to help others and live for myself.
i dont know it feels like changing something inside myself completely and im afraid of what comes next.
i dont know. sorry and thank you for reading.
>>256544
well boy child sex slaves are only fucked by males not succubi. so if you're so jealous of it having its sex needs fufilled why you aren't, you could always just go gay. males will fuck anything that moves. all crabs are volcel at least as far as gay sex goes
>like starving african children and trafficked children being sold into sex slavery, my basic physiological needs are not being met, since i am not having sex, although i have other things like safety and food. the trafficked child being sold into sex slavery is having sex while being deprived of other things,
well boy child sex slaves are only fucked by males not succubi. so if you're so jealous of it having its sex needs fufilled why you aren't, you could always just go gay. males will fuck anything that moves. all crabs are volcel at least as far as gay sex goes
>like starving african children and trafficked children being sold into sex slavery, my basic physiological needs are not being met, since i am not having sex, although i have other things like safety and food. the trafficked child being sold into sex slavery is having sex while being deprived of other things,
>>256569
its because hes being disingenous - the body asks for intimacy as well as sexual release, fapping only solves one, same reason going to a prostitute is a defunct suggestion
its because hes being disingenous - the body asks for intimacy as well as sexual release, fapping only solves one, same reason going to a prostitute is a defunct suggestion
>>256473
sorry for the late response, no i have not watched but i was considering it, i elected to watch The Shield instead which i very much enjoyed. i'll give The Wire a shot, thanks.
sorry for the late response, no i have not watched but i was considering it, i elected to watch The Shield instead which i very much enjoyed. i'll give The Wire a shot, thanks.
>>256584
He's just Brazilian. I can tell because all he posts is anime succubi and he has bad English.
He's just Brazilian. I can tell because all he posts is anime succubi and he has bad English.
>>256569
>>256577
You don't need anyone, not friends, not succubi, this is the big truth society tries to hide from us. Most in-cels don't want a gf because they are so horny first of all, they want a gf because they see everybody has one and so they think they must have one too. Or the same goes for simply having sex, they want to brag about how they could have sex in front of normalfags. And then there is also the kind which has a false conception about relationshits, like the guy who wants "emotional connection". It is all shit propaganda we were raised to believe is true.
>>256571
>empirical data
Which contradicts each other most of the time, depending on who does these little tests and with what purpose. Sex is the holy cow of normalfag society, of course there won't be anything scientific that could show us that it isn't necessary at all.
>Lack of sexual contact leads to heart disease and stroke, increased cortisol, and many other chronic and severe health issues
No, it's actually having too many orgasms which leads to having heart issues. Whether you masturbate too much or have too much sex it is irrelevant, both are harmful to you in the long run. This is the truth behind religions encouraging celibacy. Orgasms give you high blood pressure and strain your body too much.
>cope with a dark and difficult truth
Yeah, it is you coping with the hard truth, that normalfag values are useless. You have to make up your own values, oh but that's hard, better get back to the herd to give me instructions what to do and what to think!
>>256577
You don't need anyone, not friends, not succubi, this is the big truth society tries to hide from us. Most in-cels don't want a gf because they are so horny first of all, they want a gf because they see everybody has one and so they think they must have one too. Or the same goes for simply having sex, they want to brag about how they could have sex in front of normalfags. And then there is also the kind which has a false conception about relationshits, like the guy who wants "emotional connection". It is all shit propaganda we were raised to believe is true.
>>256571
>empirical data
Which contradicts each other most of the time, depending on who does these little tests and with what purpose. Sex is the holy cow of normalfag society, of course there won't be anything scientific that could show us that it isn't necessary at all.
>Lack of sexual contact leads to heart disease and stroke, increased cortisol, and many other chronic and severe health issues
No, it's actually having too many orgasms which leads to having heart issues. Whether you masturbate too much or have too much sex it is irrelevant, both are harmful to you in the long run. This is the truth behind religions encouraging celibacy. Orgasms give you high blood pressure and strain your body too much.
>cope with a dark and difficult truth
Yeah, it is you coping with the hard truth, that normalfag values are useless. You have to make up your own values, oh but that's hard, better get back to the herd to give me instructions what to do and what to think!
Everyone here is extremely depressed and suicidal. How does one even get to this point? You must acknowledge that you all are so young and can still find a purpose with your life.
>>256478
Don't you remember what happened to Don? The past came back to haunt him. Don't you think yours will, too?
Don't you remember what happened to Don? The past came back to haunt him. Don't you think yours will, too?
>>256611
what if you did something new everyday and developed a hobbie and friends that way instead of being confined to the walls of your house
what if you did something new everyday and developed a hobbie and friends that way instead of being confined to the walls of your house
>>256603
I don’t want a purpose. Fuck having a purpose. I’m not some mindless automaton set on a journey to produce the most value for my employer or to saturate a market. You narrow minded “people” all think the same way. I blame the Protestant work ethic. Can’t you see outside your own worldview and understand how your culture has warped your perceptions?
I don’t want a purpose. Fuck having a purpose. I’m not some mindless automaton set on a journey to produce the most value for my employer or to saturate a market. You narrow minded “people” all think the same way. I blame the Protestant work ethic. Can’t you see outside your own worldview and understand how your culture has warped your perceptions?
>>256616
Finding some sort of purpose and meaning in this lifetime shows resiliency and strength, we don’t know the meaning of our existence just yet but it’s better to make something of this life than to suicide. Don’t want to exactly say that people who suicide are cowards but they really are. Letting yourself waste away day by day is selfishness and a total let down to the creator who was generous enough to give you a chance at life.
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>>256584
sorry. there are two reasons why i have been saying basically the same things. first because its very important to me so i really want to get it across, i wanted to scream and i wanted someone to hear. second because im on the verge of making a big internal change and thats so scary i just talk about it instead of doing it.
i dont know. i just feel like something very important is happening inside me. and im very scared. because i feel like i might lose something important inside me.
its like im moving to a different world or plane of existence where theres only me. im very free, it feels so awesome, but also so lonely.
i feel like theres something like an important piece or part inside me that belongs somewhere and i must deliver whats inside me to where it belongs but i feel so hopeless and i feel so unfortunate and miserable im giving up on my purpose and taking a solo approach. it feels like defying god, or rather like god forgot about me even though im right here. i feel like im making a mistake.
i dont know, i dont know how to express these things, really i could write thousands of pages about how i feel. but essentially i think something big is changing inside me, it feels like i could lose something important inside me, it feels like im making a mistake, it feels amazing, and i think i will be so fre*king awesome at progrmaming and mathematics i just need stability i just need a chance to show what im like inside. and i love other people and i want to make others happy. and i wanted to talk about that before going quiet forever.
i dont know sorry for being annoying and thank you for reading.
ill leave on my journey now. im scared but it feels great. i was here and i existed. and there were things inside me. sorry. sorry a lot.
sorry. there are two reasons why i have been saying basically the same things. first because its very important to me so i really want to get it across, i wanted to scream and i wanted someone to hear. second because im on the verge of making a big internal change and thats so scary i just talk about it instead of doing it.
i dont know. i just feel like something very important is happening inside me. and im very scared. because i feel like i might lose something important inside me.
its like im moving to a different world or plane of existence where theres only me. im very free, it feels so awesome, but also so lonely.
i feel like theres something like an important piece or part inside me that belongs somewhere and i must deliver whats inside me to where it belongs but i feel so hopeless and i feel so unfortunate and miserable im giving up on my purpose and taking a solo approach. it feels like defying god, or rather like god forgot about me even though im right here. i feel like im making a mistake.
i dont know, i dont know how to express these things, really i could write thousands of pages about how i feel. but essentially i think something big is changing inside me, it feels like i could lose something important inside me, it feels like im making a mistake, it feels amazing, and i think i will be so fre*king awesome at progrmaming and mathematics i just need stability i just need a chance to show what im like inside. and i love other people and i want to make others happy. and i wanted to talk about that before going quiet forever.
i dont know sorry for being annoying and thank you for reading.
ill leave on my journey now. im scared but it feels great. i was here and i existed. and there were things inside me. sorry. sorry a lot.
>>256620
>christnigger
Oh ok now I see why you sounded like a crazy lemming. Fuck Jesus dude, go get martyred like a purposeful retard nigger
>christnigger
Oh ok now I see why you sounded like a crazy lemming. Fuck Jesus dude, go get martyred like a purposeful retard nigger
>>256603
how am i supposed to find it when i dont enjoy anything and have no will to try new things or go out into the world and be around people
let alone assuming doing these things would somehow arbitrarily create a purpose when even normalfags who do the above are wagies first and foremost
the logical conclusion from this frame is that things wont improve and i wont find some majestic greater cause to dedicate myself to so being miserable and thinking i should die is befitting
how am i supposed to find it when i dont enjoy anything and have no will to try new things or go out into the world and be around people
let alone assuming doing these things would somehow arbitrarily create a purpose when even normalfags who do the above are wagies first and foremost
the logical conclusion from this frame is that things wont improve and i wont find some majestic greater cause to dedicate myself to so being miserable and thinking i should die is befitting
>>256628
so you’re just going to die a pathetic fag? We don’t know the true reason for our existence yet but at least make something out of your life. You must enjoy doing something with friends and family, but your laziness has gotten the best of you or perhaps you haven’t tried things you really want to do. You can achieve happiness but it’s going to come once you actually start doing something with your shit life. We all die in the end, yes, but if you maintain this fixed mindset then nothing will ever come of you.
so you’re just going to die a pathetic fag? We don’t know the true reason for our existence yet but at least make something out of your life. You must enjoy doing something with friends and family, but your laziness has gotten the best of you or perhaps you haven’t tried things you really want to do. You can achieve happiness but it’s going to come once you actually start doing something with your shit life. We all die in the end, yes, but if you maintain this fixed mindset then nothing will ever come of you.
>>256622
Why are you such a fucking jerk about it? What’s the problem with trying to find a purpose in life, and I’m not very religious but the idea of god gives people a sense of hope.
Why are you such a fucking jerk about it? What’s the problem with trying to find a purpose in life, and I’m not very religious but the idea of god gives people a sense of hope.
>>256630
I think the reason a lot of people reject advice like this is that normalfags tend to look down on wizard hobbies
I think the reason a lot of people reject advice like this is that normalfags tend to look down on wizard hobbies
>>256631
you're the nigger who comes in to the depression thread going "HURR DURR HOW IS DEPRESSION EVEN REAL" and you expect what? A warm welcome? Everyone to say "my god I never thought of that"?" Fuck you.
you're the nigger who comes in to the depression thread going "HURR DURR HOW IS DEPRESSION EVEN REAL" and you expect what? A warm welcome? Everyone to say "my god I never thought of that"?" Fuck you.
>>256637
I’m not saying depression isn’t real, but why are you defending something that causes you pain? I guess everyone here just wants to complain about their shit life.
I’m not saying depression isn’t real, but why are you defending something that causes you pain? I guess everyone here just wants to complain about their shit life.
>>256630
i dont know why i even replied to you in the first place, your "how does one even get to this point?" is tantamount to "how does one even stay a virgin?"
i can tell youre some lost outsider who thinks he can help but youre just a condescending christfag nigger
you cant relate so dont even bother, just leave
i dont know why i even replied to you in the first place, your "how does one even get to this point?" is tantamount to "how does one even stay a virgin?"
i can tell youre some lost outsider who thinks he can help but youre just a condescending christfag nigger
you cant relate so dont even bother, just leave
>>256655
Ur comparing hopelessness with not being able to loose your virginity? Yet you all recognize succubi are attracted to good looking men or men that can make a living for themselves? But yes you’re too lazy to change.
Ur comparing hopelessness with not being able to loose your virginity? Yet you all recognize succubi are attracted to good looking men or men that can make a living for themselves? But yes you’re too lazy to change.
File: 1648315152945.jpg (168.66 KB, 828x923, 828:923, 1648304211385.jpg) ImgOps iqdb
Not this shit again. People here just want to complain and stuff like that, they don't want to change. Most of them can't even change. >>256632 is right. Everyone here needs to find his own way, they won't suddenly go and enjoy life just because some normalfag told them they should do so. In my case I used to be really depressed but wanted to change and managed to do it. I don't have any big success stories or anything like that but at least I enjoy some things now. I don't even think it is proper to call depression an illness. It is natural for men to go through dark times, for some these last longer unfortunately.
Instead of finding purpose or meaning (what a meme) you should focus on finding something you like doing or enjoy and then stick to that. Don't be afraid to try out new things, experiment with everything. Life is a test anyway.
Instead of finding purpose or meaning (what a meme) you should focus on finding something you like doing or enjoy and then stick to that. Don't be afraid to try out new things, experiment with everything. Life is a test anyway.
>>256663
You are being vague, wdym by change exacly, also I doubt most people can make living off something they enjoy and even if they do, they'll stop enjoying it.
You are being vague, wdym by change exacly, also I doubt most people can make living off something they enjoy and even if they do, they'll stop enjoying it.
>>256667
Ur source: “trust me bro”
U actually have the balls to come on here and say “most people won’t enjoy what the do” tf
Ur source: “trust me bro”
U actually have the balls to come on here and say “most people won’t enjoy what the do” tf
How can normalfags not understand I get no pleasure out of anything? I can "change" and work out and eat right (all of which I tried) but life is still boring.
But they can't just get this through their dense skulls. I don't want a girlfriend .I don't want to go to a club. I don't want to pay some shitty instrument. Fuck off
But they can't just get this through their dense skulls. I don't want a girlfriend .I don't want to go to a club. I don't want to pay some shitty instrument. Fuck off
im so sick of boomer/normies trying to talk to me or get near me without a mask in the library. why the fuck would i want to help you or talk to you chud
does anyone with an overbearing/helicopter/abusive parent relate to this comedians life at all growing up?
https://mentalpod.libsyn.com/471-smothered-entitled-al-lubel
https://mentalpod.libsyn.com/471-smothered-entitled-al-lubel
>>256658
no you moron, im comparing it to the fact youre so obviously an outsider that if you cant even comprehend why someone could be depressed and suicidal you shouldnt be giving "advice" on how to fix it
yes if you want to find the epic perfect wifey become a doctor or high status provider thanks i know that and dont care
no you moron, im comparing it to the fact youre so obviously an outsider that if you cant even comprehend why someone could be depressed and suicidal you shouldnt be giving "advice" on how to fix it
yes if you want to find the epic perfect wifey become a doctor or high status provider thanks i know that and dont care
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>>256670
I feel this so much. All around me it seems people think depression is just a phase where you're sad often due to something bothering you a lot and, if you can fix that something, it'll go away and you'll go back to "normal" in no time. I simply want nothing out of life, I have nowhere I want to be, nowhere I want to go, nothing I want to become, and this is my "normal" self, or at least has been for a long time. I simply am, I exist because my parents wanted me to and now I don't really know what to make of it, I've lived plenty of years, trying to do many different things in the meantime, and while I've had my fun in life and had things I cared about at certain points, nothing really stuck with me, I've lived enough and experienced enough, I don't get excited about things anymore, there's nothing to look forward to and because of that life is nothing but fulfilling obligations, taking care of my responsibilities so I have a roof over my head and food on the table, not because those things make life good, but because the absence of them makes life insufferable, if I'm going to be alive I might aswell have some physical comfort and dopamine whenever I can, at least until I can have the will needed to kill myself.
I don't feel particularly fulfilled when trying to do all of the things I'm told to do, all of the advice, so in the end it's just extra work without much emotional reward, which is why nowadays I spend most of my free time doing nothing, sleeping, less effort, and therefore less suffering, but with the same result.
I feel this so much. All around me it seems people think depression is just a phase where you're sad often due to something bothering you a lot and, if you can fix that something, it'll go away and you'll go back to "normal" in no time. I simply want nothing out of life, I have nowhere I want to be, nowhere I want to go, nothing I want to become, and this is my "normal" self, or at least has been for a long time. I simply am, I exist because my parents wanted me to and now I don't really know what to make of it, I've lived plenty of years, trying to do many different things in the meantime, and while I've had my fun in life and had things I cared about at certain points, nothing really stuck with me, I've lived enough and experienced enough, I don't get excited about things anymore, there's nothing to look forward to and because of that life is nothing but fulfilling obligations, taking care of my responsibilities so I have a roof over my head and food on the table, not because those things make life good, but because the absence of them makes life insufferable, if I'm going to be alive I might aswell have some physical comfort and dopamine whenever I can, at least until I can have the will needed to kill myself.
I don't feel particularly fulfilled when trying to do all of the things I'm told to do, all of the advice, so in the end it's just extra work without much emotional reward, which is why nowadays I spend most of my free time doing nothing, sleeping, less effort, and therefore less suffering, but with the same result.
>>256670
What is separating you from normalfags anyways? Everyone probably feels like this, guess we should all go and die
What is separating you from normalfags anyways? Everyone probably feels like this, guess we should all go and die
does anyone relate to having a helicopter/overbearing mother lik this comedian?
https://mentalpod.libsyn.com/471-smothered-entitled-al-lubel
https://mentalpod.libsyn.com/471-smothered-entitled-al-lubel
>>256667
By change I meant being able to enjoy stuff again. Making a living is another problem entirely, a very serious one compared to this.
I think if you are able to NEET, to have basic things like a place to live, good food, electricity, etc. plus if you are healthy enough not to be in constant pain then you don't have anything to complain about. The rest is just empty luxury. All you need is privacy, free time, internet and basic comforts and as a wiz you can enjoy life.
>>256670
>>256674
Nobody will wipe your ass for you. Nobody will enjoy life instead of you. If you are content with refreshing /dep/ and masturbating all day then go on, continue this way. However, if you don't like being this way then yes, you need to put some effort into things. Sorry, that is how it works. I highly doubt it you guys experienced or tried out everything fun life has to offer, you probably stick to the same shit, watching the same 10 movies, listening to same music, playing the same games, etc. Leave your comfort zone and explore a little. There are many ways to entertain yourself in this day and age thanks to the internet, be grateful. You need to force yourself at first, because your attention span is probably horrible thanks to imageboards and watching youtube videos. Keep reading that book, even if the first 10 pages are boring. Keep watching that movie, even if you don't like a first 10 minutes. Don't quit playing that game just because you don't go crazy over the 1st level and so on. Have a little endurance and willpower and then it will be easier as you continue.
>until I can have the will needed to kill myself
Haha, if you can't even find stuff to occupy yourself with then how will you kill yourself? This is just a cope. No, you won't kill yourself. So better get your shit together and spend your time enjoying life to the fullest.
By change I meant being able to enjoy stuff again. Making a living is another problem entirely, a very serious one compared to this.
I think if you are able to NEET, to have basic things like a place to live, good food, electricity, etc. plus if you are healthy enough not to be in constant pain then you don't have anything to complain about. The rest is just empty luxury. All you need is privacy, free time, internet and basic comforts and as a wiz you can enjoy life.
>>256670
>>256674
Nobody will wipe your ass for you. Nobody will enjoy life instead of you. If you are content with refreshing /dep/ and masturbating all day then go on, continue this way. However, if you don't like being this way then yes, you need to put some effort into things. Sorry, that is how it works. I highly doubt it you guys experienced or tried out everything fun life has to offer, you probably stick to the same shit, watching the same 10 movies, listening to same music, playing the same games, etc. Leave your comfort zone and explore a little. There are many ways to entertain yourself in this day and age thanks to the internet, be grateful. You need to force yourself at first, because your attention span is probably horrible thanks to imageboards and watching youtube videos. Keep reading that book, even if the first 10 pages are boring. Keep watching that movie, even if you don't like a first 10 minutes. Don't quit playing that game just because you don't go crazy over the 1st level and so on. Have a little endurance and willpower and then it will be easier as you continue.
>until I can have the will needed to kill myself
Haha, if you can't even find stuff to occupy yourself with then how will you kill yourself? This is just a cope. No, you won't kill yourself. So better get your shit together and spend your time enjoying life to the fullest.
>>256726
I enjoy things but that doesn't mean I am an optimist. I like this board, even though it has a lot of whining, it has wise posts lots of time.
I enjoy things but that doesn't mean I am an optimist. I like this board, even though it has a lot of whining, it has wise posts lots of time.
>>256725
does it bother you that I'm a loser NEET virgin but I still feel superior to you because you're a dumb normgroid?
does it bother you that I'm a loser NEET virgin but I still feel superior to you because you're a dumb normgroid?
Listening to audiobook
Dude says we like depression secretly
Because it dulls hurt and fear and pain
What this niggah smoking
Depression amplifies pain and fear
Weakens your mind and makes emotions hard to regulate or deal with
You’re like a traumatised dog shivering in fear at its worst
When depression passes it’s 100 times easier to deal with fear and pain
These dudes always reveal they haven’t actually dealt with shit
They’re well respected and accomplished
And they’re talking about the most shallow version of depression that exists
I will listen to the rest of the book
I try not to dismiss everything these people say off little comments
But how can you take these people seriously
They always do this shit
Dude says we like depression secretly
Because it dulls hurt and fear and pain
What this niggah smoking
Depression amplifies pain and fear
Weakens your mind and makes emotions hard to regulate or deal with
You’re like a traumatised dog shivering in fear at its worst
When depression passes it’s 100 times easier to deal with fear and pain
These dudes always reveal they haven’t actually dealt with shit
They’re well respected and accomplished
And they’re talking about the most shallow version of depression that exists
I will listen to the rest of the book
I try not to dismiss everything these people say off little comments
But how can you take these people seriously
They always do this shit
There has to be something I like doing. there has to be some some some hobby or task or repetitive physical activity that i can do. It's not possible to dislike everything. I must like something. I just have to find it
File: 1648697386263.png (1.16 MB, 1277x1200, 1277:1200, ClipboardImage.png) ImgOps iqdb
ive tried to communicate with the external world. i wanted to talk to you, understand you, help you and be part of something bigger. im falling off a cliff and into an infinite abyss where theres only me. living my own life only for myself. becoming something completely separate, discrete, different from everything else, like a new cell that completes telophasis. im building a new world from scratch, im going to be its only inhabitant. ill walk through the door, lock it from the inside, and delete it.
i feel so much freedom. i feel so much power. fire and ice. black and white at the same time. i have an unbreakable, incorruptible internal moral code and belief system which gives me strenght. i think i know what is "right" and that makes me confident. i understand how things work and that sets me free. in a decade or two ill work miracles in many fields and ill acquire much more money than a person should have. i can make things, turn tumbleweeds into polished crystals. paint stars in the sky. i can make anything i can imagine and i can imagine anything.
im very scared. im scared of things like totalitarianism and economic collapse. i hope it wont happen and humanity will stay the same on the surface for the next few decades. im afraid of other people. petty thieves and psycho billionaires. i can give things but there are many parasites who will kill their own host. i wish youd let me grow, its better for yourself. im afraid of things i cant control. im afraid, im scared, its scary. im afraid everything will be for naught.
im going to do my part, i think i have a purpose and theres something i must do. at least, i feel like i can be free and sustain my core forever, without intruding on other beings internal worlds. i will do everything i can, i hope thats enough.
i dont know sorry. i wish i could express what i feel and how much i feel that. i feel like almost reaching infinity, its so scary but so awesome. i dont know sorry.
i feel so much freedom. i feel so much power. fire and ice. black and white at the same time. i have an unbreakable, incorruptible internal moral code and belief system which gives me strenght. i think i know what is "right" and that makes me confident. i understand how things work and that sets me free. in a decade or two ill work miracles in many fields and ill acquire much more money than a person should have. i can make things, turn tumbleweeds into polished crystals. paint stars in the sky. i can make anything i can imagine and i can imagine anything.
im very scared. im scared of things like totalitarianism and economic collapse. i hope it wont happen and humanity will stay the same on the surface for the next few decades. im afraid of other people. petty thieves and psycho billionaires. i can give things but there are many parasites who will kill their own host. i wish youd let me grow, its better for yourself. im afraid of things i cant control. im afraid, im scared, its scary. im afraid everything will be for naught.
im going to do my part, i think i have a purpose and theres something i must do. at least, i feel like i can be free and sustain my core forever, without intruding on other beings internal worlds. i will do everything i can, i hope thats enough.
i dont know sorry. i wish i could express what i feel and how much i feel that. i feel like almost reaching infinity, its so scary but so awesome. i dont know sorry.
I have such a toxic relationship with alcohol. I am really considering the idea that I have an addictive personality. Permitting drinking alcohol opens me up to badness and completely nullifies my morals. Am I normal? I seriously need to know if I am actually an alcoholic. Please don't recommend me support groups like AA since I have a very strong aversion to it.
>>256881
i don't drink very usually. the other night i drank a ton and threw up in my bed and now my parents are pissed.
i don't drink very usually. the other night i drank a ton and threw up in my bed and now my parents are pissed.
>>256886
I understand that imageboards have the potential to be very hostile places, but i think most users on the listed boards would be open to understanding what's troubling you without resorting to ridicule. Can you explain what this "problem" is?
I understand that imageboards have the potential to be very hostile places, but i think most users on the listed boards would be open to understanding what's troubling you without resorting to ridicule. Can you explain what this "problem" is?
>>256894
I've never met someone who has had this happen before.
How did your name get linked to the IP? ISP leak? Couldn't you sue them?
I've never met someone who has had this happen before.
How did your name get linked to the IP? ISP leak? Couldn't you sue them?
>>256901
>having someone's entire life literally ruined for being mean online is completely justifiable and hilarious to me
sometimes you gotta wonder who the real bullies are, man…
>having someone's entire life literally ruined for being mean online is completely justifiable and hilarious to me
sometimes you gotta wonder who the real bullies are, man…
>>256903
>Not celebrating sodomites grooming children, and shitskins invading your country and burning it to the ground is shameful and wrong.
I might be mentally ill, but you're on another level.
>Not celebrating sodomites grooming children, and shitskins invading your country and burning it to the ground is shameful and wrong.
I might be mentally ill, but you're on another level.
>>256903
>but he's just another privileged white dude that can afford to throw money at the problem and move across the country to hide away like a rat that he is
or he could just be a privileged black dude and never have to worry about being called out for racism ever
>but he's just another privileged white dude that can afford to throw money at the problem and move across the country to hide away like a rat that he is
or he could just be a privileged black dude and never have to worry about being called out for racism ever
>>256903
Jesus Christ, parasites like you really are on every corner of the internet nowadays aren't you?
Jesus Christ, parasites like you really are on every corner of the internet nowadays aren't you?
>guy on dep says that he has a big problem and doesn't want to share
>C'mon anon share it anon it can't be that bad and we do understand
>He does share it
>Receives insults in return
Things like this make me realize that you're the same as normals, just failed, sad individuals.
>C'mon anon share it anon it can't be that bad and we do understand
>He does share it
>Receives insults in return
Things like this make me realize that you're the same as normals, just failed, sad individuals.
>>256912
>>256918
Where on earth did you come here from? I feel like I’ve entered the Twilight Zone.
>>256918
Where on earth did you come here from? I feel like I’ve entered the Twilight Zone.
Are you guys ever afraid of even attempting to resolve your longstanding problems? As in, the possibility of there being a solution makes all the fuck ups that resulted from it rain down on you even more because as it turns out it was totally avoidable. All the guilt and shame gets only worse. For me it's as if I wished to be doomed to fail. I know it's retarded, and that I'm only making everything worse, but I can't stop myself from thinking this way.
i figured out the cure to anhedonia. i hate video games, reading, browsing IBs, watching youtube, and anime. but watching gore and people dying just never gets old. i think it is something innate, its real life. it has always been something that i am very passionate about
>>256928
I think the older you get, the less you relate to imaginary and fake scenarios.
That is why adults get tired of video games and cartoons because they can no longer relate to those types of mediums unless they're perfected to their specific tastes.
I think the older you get, the less you relate to imaginary and fake scenarios.
That is why adults get tired of video games and cartoons because they can no longer relate to those types of mediums unless they're perfected to their specific tastes.
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My new identity will become almost untraceable once I get fully settled down in my new location, with a new drivers license, social security number and birth certificate.
This is a big relief because I will be able to start over and not worry about my past life or any consequences. It has been a roller coaster for the last few months, with many depressions and manic euphorias.
Once I'm settled down in my new life, I will once again find peace and I will continue on my wizardly monk path.
This is a big relief because I will be able to start over and not worry about my past life or any consequences. It has been a roller coaster for the last few months, with many depressions and manic euphorias.
Once I'm settled down in my new life, I will once again find peace and I will continue on my wizardly monk path.
>>256929
i think its less to do with relating and more to do with developing taste, and if you spend all your time immersed in a medium you will eventually (or at least you should) become more attuned with what is actually good or bad, and as most things are bad, itll be hard to find anything that fits your improved standards
i think its less to do with relating and more to do with developing taste, and if you spend all your time immersed in a medium you will eventually (or at least you should) become more attuned with what is actually good or bad, and as most things are bad, itll be hard to find anything that fits your improved standards
>small lump just off my right hip
>right foot feels like it's almost falling asleep
If I die, it was alright knowing you, fellow depressed and lonely bastards.
>right foot feels like it's almost falling asleep
If I die, it was alright knowing you, fellow depressed and lonely bastards.
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今夜, 夢の時間は終わり告げる
怖くないよ, 世界はまだ優しく色づいてるから
怖くないよ, 世界はまだ優しく色づいてるから
I completely regret that I skipped late high school and college because I was so drenched in depression that I didn't wanted to do anything besides playing vidya. I have no skills, degree or certifications. I doomed myself to live with my parents until I wither from this earth. What's worse, my brain is completely rotted from all these years of mindless consuming in auto-pilot mode. I tried to pick up some skills in a fancy of motivation and I was appalled at how inept I was at even grasping basic layman concepts. I used to be great at geometry in high school, but today I'm struggling to even understand elementary level geometry.
>>256978
fuck high school and college dude. the grass is always greener etc. you just need to fake it till you make it. i am always amazed at how many retards are in positions of authority and can get other retards to listen to them, just because they are confident and preach like they are jesus or something. even college is just a bunch of faggots pretending to be smart because they got some shit paper from some phoney university that says they are certified retards. if you ever actually went to college, its just a bunch of nerds cheating on their homework for classes they will never need when they have a job.
fuck high school and college dude. the grass is always greener etc. you just need to fake it till you make it. i am always amazed at how many retards are in positions of authority and can get other retards to listen to them, just because they are confident and preach like they are jesus or something. even college is just a bunch of faggots pretending to be smart because they got some shit paper from some phoney university that says they are certified retards. if you ever actually went to college, its just a bunch of nerds cheating on their homework for classes they will never need when they have a job.
>>256980
Nobody hires you if you don't have a degree, otherwise I don't feel like I missed out on anything by not being caged with dozens of normgroids within 4 walls for 6 hours a day, every weekday. I'm planning to get a 2 years bachelor degree from a distance learning college and become a desk jockey, it's not something I would want to do in my finite existence but if it means that I get to live alone in my own place and be able to pay rent and taxes then I'm willing to endure it and the heap of nuisance that comes with it, I had a lucky run living a NEET life without having to sacrifice any comfort in my materially carefree life but now I'm alone on my own in a world that I was never prepared for and I have to make a decisive choice without much time left. Not sure how do I revive my cognitive abilities that has been dulled over the years of mental inactivity, including my horrible memory problems and inattentiveness. I'm going to start taking Ritalin and then draw a roadmap once I set things in motion, I guess.
Nobody hires you if you don't have a degree, otherwise I don't feel like I missed out on anything by not being caged with dozens of normgroids within 4 walls for 6 hours a day, every weekday. I'm planning to get a 2 years bachelor degree from a distance learning college and become a desk jockey, it's not something I would want to do in my finite existence but if it means that I get to live alone in my own place and be able to pay rent and taxes then I'm willing to endure it and the heap of nuisance that comes with it, I had a lucky run living a NEET life without having to sacrifice any comfort in my materially carefree life but now I'm alone on my own in a world that I was never prepared for and I have to make a decisive choice without much time left. Not sure how do I revive my cognitive abilities that has been dulled over the years of mental inactivity, including my horrible memory problems and inattentiveness. I'm going to start taking Ritalin and then draw a roadmap once I set things in motion, I guess.
>>256982
If you're taking Ritalin, good luck with the hellish side effects unless you don't mind being a skelly
If you're taking Ritalin, good luck with the hellish side effects unless you don't mind being a skelly
>>256983
I'm OK with that. In fact it would be even helpful for me since I'm a bit of a fatass.
I'm OK with that. In fact it would be even helpful for me since I'm a bit of a fatass.
>>256982
>still believing bachelor degrees have a meaningful impact on improving career prospects, from a distance learning college no less
anon…
>still believing bachelor degrees have a meaningful impact on improving career prospects, from a distance learning college no less
anon…
>>256982
degrees dont mean shit after your first job. it helps to get your foot in the door, but there are other ways. also, dont even think about getting a non stem meme degree. just dont.
degrees dont mean shit after your first job. it helps to get your foot in the door, but there are other ways. also, dont even think about getting a non stem meme degree. just dont.
>>256992
>>256985
It does matter when you are applying for low-level office job. In reality, a HS graduate is as skilled as a guy with 2 year degree and can easily do the same low-level job in office the college graduate is applying for. But HR department boomers see college degree, no matter where it's from and how shitty it is, as a certificate of expertise. To sum it up you are much much more likely to get hired when you list your degree on your resume than diffidently telling the interviewer that you are a HS dropout. That's just how things work unfortunately. And blue collar jobs (with exceptions that require a degree) here pays almost 2x less than white collar jobs before you say that I should just work in construction.
>>256988
I'm not alone yet as now. My dad is retiring next year and he told me I should start looking for a job because his pension money won't be enough to maintain our current life standards. I suspect he might be lying, but I'm seizing this opportunity to finally break free.
>>256985
It does matter when you are applying for low-level office job. In reality, a HS graduate is as skilled as a guy with 2 year degree and can easily do the same low-level job in office the college graduate is applying for. But HR department boomers see college degree, no matter where it's from and how shitty it is, as a certificate of expertise. To sum it up you are much much more likely to get hired when you list your degree on your resume than diffidently telling the interviewer that you are a HS dropout. That's just how things work unfortunately. And blue collar jobs (with exceptions that require a degree) here pays almost 2x less than white collar jobs before you say that I should just work in construction.
>>256988
I'm not alone yet as now. My dad is retiring next year and he told me I should start looking for a job because his pension money won't be enough to maintain our current life standards. I suspect he might be lying, but I'm seizing this opportunity to finally break free.
i used to be an active poster on the crabs forum. however, it shows the amount of time you've spent online, and i became disgusted at myself when i saw how much time i wasted there. furthermore, i felt like being on there exacerbated my depression. so i requested to be perm banned.
well the thing is, i think its actually good to have a support group for people like me. which is why i pop on here sometimes. its just everything in moderation. so i tried to make a new account, but they said i need to appeal on my old one. but i cant because its permbanned.
i could probably try to reset my ip or some shit, but im too lazy and depressed to figure it out. and i dont really believe in the justice of it. i would probably fall back into old habbits and waste a bunch of time. so i dont know how to feel about it
well the thing is, i think its actually good to have a support group for people like me. which is why i pop on here sometimes. its just everything in moderation. so i tried to make a new account, but they said i need to appeal on my old one. but i cant because its permbanned.
i could probably try to reset my ip or some shit, but im too lazy and depressed to figure it out. and i dont really believe in the justice of it. i would probably fall back into old habbits and waste a bunch of time. so i dont know how to feel about it
>>257007
I relate to you so much man. When someone feels like an outcast from society they feel like they are the only ones but when you have places like this where like-minded people can congregate it makes you feel accepted but can also be debilitating. Such forums allow hate speech against religions and races, and people feel like they were just born different and can’t help their condition. So yeah, it does add to the depression and makes you feel more depressed about the world we live in. That’s why I don’t come here that often, because the more time you waste on here, the worse your mental health gets. Going outside and meeting actual people and doing actual things outside of my house are what keep me sane. Don’t waste your time online mate,
I relate to you so much man. When someone feels like an outcast from society they feel like they are the only ones but when you have places like this where like-minded people can congregate it makes you feel accepted but can also be debilitating. Such forums allow hate speech against religions and races, and people feel like they were just born different and can’t help their condition. So yeah, it does add to the depression and makes you feel more depressed about the world we live in. That’s why I don’t come here that often, because the more time you waste on here, the worse your mental health gets. Going outside and meeting actual people and doing actual things outside of my house are what keep me sane. Don’t waste your time online mate,
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I might have an enlarged prostate or something. Since around September, I've been unable to fully empty my urethra when pissing, so I can still feel sensitivity in the shaft even after going to the bathroom. The thing is, it doesn't even mean I ever "need" to go, it's just a slightly irritating feeling that subtly makes my life just a bit worse.
I wish I could get a proper debilitating disease that just killed me outright in a few days, instead of life fucking me around with these half-assed, irritating benign ailments that present no actual threat to my life beyond being annoying.
I wish I could get a proper debilitating disease that just killed me outright in a few days, instead of life fucking me around with these half-assed, irritating benign ailments that present no actual threat to my life beyond being annoying.
>>257025
Not him but what kind of things do you do friend? I have wasted a lot of my time online and it makes me sad to the point of crying but it feels like I am too far gone to have any actual human connections at this point
Not him but what kind of things do you do friend? I have wasted a lot of my time online and it makes me sad to the point of crying but it feels like I am too far gone to have any actual human connections at this point
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i think there is something i am supposed to say here.
i was once told i only pretend to be normal and that i tell myself i am normal.
i wish i could express myself. i wish i could show you what is inside me. i am afraid.
i think i had a purpose, i think i could have given you much more than you could ever ask for and lift you to the greatest heights, with mathematics and computers i can make things nobody else can even dream of, but there are obstacles i cant get rid of in the way, like poverty, sickness and such things.
so instead of helping you, because im too weak, i will create a new world for myself. it is greater than anything. infinitely perfect. but no one can see it. no one can enter it. its exclusive. mine.
im afraid. im afraid, i am very afraid. i think i might be making a mistake. i think i am erasing something important. i do not want to have existed in vain. i was here and there was something very important inside me that i was supposed to share. it was not supposed to be like this. you will miss out on so many sweet things. i wish i could have given you everything inside me. i wish you could imagine, i wish you had just a glimpse of what i can see, i wish i could have shared this.
i dont know, i think there is something happening inside me, i am very close to making an irreversible decision and changing something inside me. i think something went wrong, i think i was supposed to help you with things you cant do on your own, and right now the most i can do is to say this.
i dont know. im sorry. goodbye.
i was once told i only pretend to be normal and that i tell myself i am normal.
i wish i could express myself. i wish i could show you what is inside me. i am afraid.
i think i had a purpose, i think i could have given you much more than you could ever ask for and lift you to the greatest heights, with mathematics and computers i can make things nobody else can even dream of, but there are obstacles i cant get rid of in the way, like poverty, sickness and such things.
so instead of helping you, because im too weak, i will create a new world for myself. it is greater than anything. infinitely perfect. but no one can see it. no one can enter it. its exclusive. mine.
im afraid. im afraid, i am very afraid. i think i might be making a mistake. i think i am erasing something important. i do not want to have existed in vain. i was here and there was something very important inside me that i was supposed to share. it was not supposed to be like this. you will miss out on so many sweet things. i wish i could have given you everything inside me. i wish you could imagine, i wish you had just a glimpse of what i can see, i wish i could have shared this.
i dont know, i think there is something happening inside me, i am very close to making an irreversible decision and changing something inside me. i think something went wrong, i think i was supposed to help you with things you cant do on your own, and right now the most i can do is to say this.
i dont know. im sorry. goodbye.
every time i try to play a single-player game i just can't do it. i am too jaded. i see all the tricks the developers do. their worlds are so empty and dull.
I've feeling like Gene Takovic (Saul's assumed identity after getting in trouble) from Better Call Saul.
All the joy in my life has been sucked out from a mistake (nothing criminal or illegal) I made over 8 years ago. This one stupid mistake that I made when I wasn't even mentally developed or aware of the issue is coming back to haunt me.
So what do I do in this situation? There is no way to rectify it, so the only option is to forget about it and cope, but that isn't working.
How do I reassure myself that everything is going to be okay?
All the joy in my life has been sucked out from a mistake (nothing criminal or illegal) I made over 8 years ago. This one stupid mistake that I made when I wasn't even mentally developed or aware of the issue is coming back to haunt me.
So what do I do in this situation? There is no way to rectify it, so the only option is to forget about it and cope, but that isn't working.
How do I reassure myself that everything is going to be okay?
>>257044
I totally get what you mean, I wasted countless hours online throughout my high school and early college years but for what? I would aimlessly scroll my life away and everyday just blended into one. An endless suffering. You feel trapped in everything going on, all the thoughts racing through your head, and feelings of depression settle in. When I go outside I realize what people are really like, and how much stuff I could have accomplished. Places like this site are good to let out some feelings and feel accepted but do not wake up to this every morning, it will kill you internally.You’re way too young, don’t waste your time viewing useless shit.
I totally get what you mean, I wasted countless hours online throughout my high school and early college years but for what? I would aimlessly scroll my life away and everyday just blended into one. An endless suffering. You feel trapped in everything going on, all the thoughts racing through your head, and feelings of depression settle in. When I go outside I realize what people are really like, and how much stuff I could have accomplished. Places like this site are good to let out some feelings and feel accepted but do not wake up to this every morning, it will kill you internally.You’re way too young, don’t waste your time viewing useless shit.
>>257063
I hear they have support groups for racists and animal rapists, might be worth a shot.
I hear they have support groups for racists and animal rapists, might be worth a shot.
>>257025
>Going outside and meeting actual people
yeah do yourself and us a favor and leave forever thanks
>Going outside and meeting actual people
yeah do yourself and us a favor and leave forever thanks
>>257070
A 100K is not a lot of money, but it shows you're just another privileged white dude that never had to suffer any real problems (except to his ego). Honestly, I'm just laughing my ass off knowing you're stewing in your own juices for probably months now with no relief. Guess changing your name and moving across the country didn't work out huh? You could always go full Ted Kaczynski and live in the woods, write a manifesto about your dumb ass beliefs and send a couple fart jars to the IRS instead of your income tax report, wouldn't be the first time LOL
A 100K is not a lot of money, but it shows you're just another privileged white dude that never had to suffer any real problems (except to his ego). Honestly, I'm just laughing my ass off knowing you're stewing in your own juices for probably months now with no relief. Guess changing your name and moving across the country didn't work out huh? You could always go full Ted Kaczynski and live in the woods, write a manifesto about your dumb ass beliefs and send a couple fart jars to the IRS instead of your income tax report, wouldn't be the first time LOL
>>257072
this anger is unhealthy for you and for everyone else. go occupy yourself with something and stop exploding on people on the internet.
this anger is unhealthy for you and for everyone else. go occupy yourself with something and stop exploding on people on the internet.
>>257077
Wizcord butt buddy to the rescue huh? Yeah, I'm reflecting on all my hateful messages shitting on minorities over the years. Real doozy explaining that one in a job interview LOL. Like lady, my brain was underdeveloped back then and didn't know about VPNs, but yes I still hold those views, that's one of my other virtues, uhh sticking to my principles.
Wizcord butt buddy to the rescue huh? Yeah, I'm reflecting on all my hateful messages shitting on minorities over the years. Real doozy explaining that one in a job interview LOL. Like lady, my brain was underdeveloped back then and didn't know about VPNs, but yes I still hold those views, that's one of my other virtues, uhh sticking to my principles.
>>257078
if you dislike disagreeable topic like racism and such, there are places like reddit that host an environment for people that hold the same views as yourself. no n-words or anything. you're only here because you really really really like to complain.
if you dislike disagreeable topic like racism and such, there are places like reddit that host an environment for people that hold the same views as yourself. no n-words or anything. you're only here because you really really really like to complain.
>>257080
I made a similar mistake a couple years ago. Fortunately, the things I wrote aren't tied to my full name, but there are still days when I fear it will all come out.
I made a similar mistake a couple years ago. Fortunately, the things I wrote aren't tied to my full name, but there are still days when I fear it will all come out.
>>257079
>laughing at something = disliking it
I really don't care if some pasty ass white boy spams nigger all day long, but forgive me for chuckling at a guy torturing himself (justifiably) for being a self-admitted internet asshole. You expect me not to comment on that with absolute delight? You should go back to reddit yourself for expecting this to be a safe space, even for racists LOL
>>257080
Yes, yes, it's all very hidden and untraceable, yet the anxiety permeates your very soul. Not a moment goes by without the thought of your deep, dark secret being exposed to the world. What would mother think? Ah who cares, the hag practically raised me like this, what about all my co-workers and facebook friends? "So he's just one of them, another alt-righter nazi trump supporter, who knew?"
Relax asshole, no one cares unless you run for president one day. If that was your ambition, then I'm sorry LOL
>laughing at something = disliking it
I really don't care if some pasty ass white boy spams nigger all day long, but forgive me for chuckling at a guy torturing himself (justifiably) for being a self-admitted internet asshole. You expect me not to comment on that with absolute delight? You should go back to reddit yourself for expecting this to be a safe space, even for racists LOL
>>257080
Yes, yes, it's all very hidden and untraceable, yet the anxiety permeates your very soul. Not a moment goes by without the thought of your deep, dark secret being exposed to the world. What would mother think? Ah who cares, the hag practically raised me like this, what about all my co-workers and facebook friends? "So he's just one of them, another alt-righter nazi trump supporter, who knew?"
Relax asshole, no one cares unless you run for president one day. If that was your ambition, then I'm sorry LOL
>>257081
It wasn't even really my fault.
It was because data brokers buy your data from cellphone providers and companies that keep track of your IP, full name, address, etc, so when their gay ass servers get breached, all of your sensitive information is released on the internet.
It wasn't even really my fault.
It was because data brokers buy your data from cellphone providers and companies that keep track of your IP, full name, address, etc, so when their gay ass servers get breached, all of your sensitive information is released on the internet.
>>257082
Look at you, being a fucking hypocrite and perpetuating anger. Have fun jumping around with your vpn and getting banned again. You'll just keep bouncing back despite being unwanted everywhere that you go.
Look at you, being a fucking hypocrite and perpetuating anger. Have fun jumping around with your vpn and getting banned again. You'll just keep bouncing back despite being unwanted everywhere that you go.
>>257086
Why is it that human garbage like yourself expects others to treat you with respect and kindness when you admit to holding such de-humanizing views? And the emotions I'm feeling is closer to disgust and pleasure from your suffering, nothing more. Next time I see another vague post about "guys ever felt like you're suffocating" or similar whining like that, yeah, I'll know its you and you can imagine the shit eating grin I'll have.
I have nothing else to say, I don't have to do anything really because you are, as the school of life so aptly put it, already being cosmically punished for your nastiness. The fact that you wake up in a cold sweat each night, terrified of someone discovering your shadow self is something you will never get rid of without a genuine transformation of your views. You will always feel the need to hide like a cockroach, except in front of the few racist schmucks that have accepted your rotten disfigured soul because they see themselves in you.
Why is it that human garbage like yourself expects others to treat you with respect and kindness when you admit to holding such de-humanizing views? And the emotions I'm feeling is closer to disgust and pleasure from your suffering, nothing more. Next time I see another vague post about "guys ever felt like you're suffocating" or similar whining like that, yeah, I'll know its you and you can imagine the shit eating grin I'll have.
I have nothing else to say, I don't have to do anything really because you are, as the school of life so aptly put it, already being cosmically punished for your nastiness. The fact that you wake up in a cold sweat each night, terrified of someone discovering your shadow self is something you will never get rid of without a genuine transformation of your views. You will always feel the need to hide like a cockroach, except in front of the few racist schmucks that have accepted your rotten disfigured soul because they see themselves in you.
>>257001
i'm finishing an associates degree program in the fall. i felt like a 2 year associates would be better than just HS grad.
i'm finishing an associates degree program in the fall. i felt like a 2 year associates would be better than just HS grad.
>>256746
>Dude says we like depression secretly
I actually fuckign hate normals so much it is nearly unbearable. This dumb fake depression bullshit is genuine insanity, because I don't think people are leveraging it for social gains. I think people's pets die, they (understandably) get sad, and then they claim they need SSRIs and special treatment etc. They don't understand the utter anhedonic apathy and mood jumping that it causes. From self hatred to numbness to regret to the next thing with no enjoyment from external stimuli.
>Dude says we like depression secretly
I actually fuckign hate normals so much it is nearly unbearable. This dumb fake depression bullshit is genuine insanity, because I don't think people are leveraging it for social gains. I think people's pets die, they (understandably) get sad, and then they claim they need SSRIs and special treatment etc. They don't understand the utter anhedonic apathy and mood jumping that it causes. From self hatred to numbness to regret to the next thing with no enjoyment from external stimuli.
I’ve had ocd for like 7 years now. I used to have really bad contamination ocd, but I fixed it with exposure therapy and medication. Now I have noticed I am having a lot of intrusive thoughts and obsessions again. Not about contamination, about other stuff. It’s a bitch and I never close my eyes without feeling it there. Do you think I should try and get on medication again? Also, how do you really do exposures for pure o stuff?
>>257001
You would be much better off to do some sort of IT certification. They take less time and effort, are more reputable, and give you actual useful knowledge/skills.
You would be much better off to do some sort of IT certification. They take less time and effort, are more reputable, and give you actual useful knowledge/skills.
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>>257126
OCD here too. I know what it’s like: Hell. I did exposure therapy for some things (ex. Sticky hands), but most of my OCD is “pure O” too. I know how difficult it is to describe and explain the pure O obsessions/compulsions too; it’s so difficult to get people to understand. That being said, I’ve been on medication for many years now, but only recently have I found some semblance of relief. What works is different for everybody, so there’s not much point in me telling you specifically what I take. It’s a high dose of an old tricyclic antidepressant though, along with low dose of benzos for the anxiety and racing thoughts. I do feel incredibly lethargic, but I don’t have the painful numbness I felt while on antipsychotics. That is to say, this feels workable. If this doesn’t work, the next thing will probably be to look into TMS. It’s a bit scary but it can’t be any worse than when my brain was nuked by antipsychotics. I’m willing to give most things a shot. Very worst case, I put an end to all this, but I decided some time ago that I want to live and that suicidal ideation was just a shitty coping mechanism. Let me know if you have any questions, though I’m sure you know this is something everyone has to figure out for themselves ultimately. Godspeed wizzor.
OCD here too. I know what it’s like: Hell. I did exposure therapy for some things (ex. Sticky hands), but most of my OCD is “pure O” too. I know how difficult it is to describe and explain the pure O obsessions/compulsions too; it’s so difficult to get people to understand. That being said, I’ve been on medication for many years now, but only recently have I found some semblance of relief. What works is different for everybody, so there’s not much point in me telling you specifically what I take. It’s a high dose of an old tricyclic antidepressant though, along with low dose of benzos for the anxiety and racing thoughts. I do feel incredibly lethargic, but I don’t have the painful numbness I felt while on antipsychotics. That is to say, this feels workable. If this doesn’t work, the next thing will probably be to look into TMS. It’s a bit scary but it can’t be any worse than when my brain was nuked by antipsychotics. I’m willing to give most things a shot. Very worst case, I put an end to all this, but I decided some time ago that I want to live and that suicidal ideation was just a shitty coping mechanism. Let me know if you have any questions, though I’m sure you know this is something everyone has to figure out for themselves ultimately. Godspeed wizzor.
i just went to the gym today after a year of not exercising at all. i used to go all the time, but i stopped, partly because i was disillusioned with my lack of progress, partly because i feared the gym succs and dude bro chads.
this time i decided to go not to look better, but for my own health. i hope that i can improve my brain chemistry and mood by exercising regularly.
this time i decided to go not to look better, but for my own health. i hope that i can improve my brain chemistry and mood by exercising regularly.
I'm really starting to hate people who are stupid and wrong. You have the goddamn internet. There is no excuse for remaining so damn ignorant but it's still the norm. I just can't respect these cretins who spew some random bullshit that is completely retarded like they are making some sort of logical and rational arguments. No dude, you're literally a crazy person. This happens day after day after day. Crazy, stupid, and utterly wrong people who have no right to be so goddamn delusional about matters of fact which are simple to educate yourself about if you're not a complete fucking retard. They go around spewing off this random bullshit, who knows how it got into their heads and then if you don't "debate" them then it shows them they are "right", but of course if you do try to "debate" them they will just keep spewing complete bullshit and ignore literally anything and everything you post to try and convince them their random brainfart is not supported by the evidence. I know, I've done it millions of times in millions of ways but the specific type of person who ends up completely retarded and wrong about things only ends up that way because they are hostile to the correct information whenever presented to them. It is an exercise in futility. Like I said, I'm just really starting to hate these people, it gets goddamn old. Every problem in society can be traced back to people who are stupid ignorant and wrong.
Recently I've been taking multiple stimulant drugs, but still finding myself lying in bed staring at the ceiling. I think drugs only work if you're already a functional human
This is so fucking brutal. I thought I had gotten better, but I am sinking into old habits of not wanting to do anything at all, not wanting to get out of bed, dreaming about committing suicide instead of dealing with my problems. It just doesn’t really seem worth it to keep in living. It’s just an uphill climb. I really feel like that Greek guy that kept having to push that rock up the hill
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>>257182
>dude
>you're literally a crazy person.
On top of having internet we have reddit.
But nice appeal to authority, fact checking faggot.
>dude
>you're literally a crazy person.
On top of having internet we have reddit.
But nice appeal to authority, fact checking faggot.
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ive stopped taking meds and i can think more clearly now. i can be myself now.
i think i might have turned out like this because of meds. ive been forced to take several pills since i was 4 and i think that severely damaged my body, brain and mind. it isnt my fault, but im sorry for turning out like this, im sorry for having behaved the way i did.
i like to think, hadnt i been drugged, i could have made decisions, i could have been myself from the start, i could have spent all of my childhood quietly and lonely studying mathematics and computer science in my bedroom like i think i should have, like i wanted to. and by the time i turned 18 i would have made a couple kks from crypto and would have been accepted to princetons undergraduate math course or something and by now i could be shining my light on the world.
i think my parents ruined my life. i dont care about me, but i would care if i were right that i have a talent for imagination and such things no one else has.
i think my life is completely ruined, i dont have a chance anymore, i feel like ive been raped beaten and thrown in a ditch, but ill keep trying because thats the only thing that makes sense.
i wish i could explain what i feel and what im going through. i feel like finally accessing a part of my brain i should have accessed when i was a child. i think now is too late and even if i turn this switch inside me its not going to get me anywhere. i feel like walking through the barrier to another dimension. i feel like im leaving this world. i feel like death is embracing me, consuming me, absorbing me. its so scary. its complete loneliness. but at the same time i feel so much power. i feel complete freedom. i feel like in a world with no rules, where i can do absolutely anything i could ever dare to imagine without repercussions, i feel like having reached infinity.
i dont know what is it that i want. i know for a fact i care about other people, maybe i wish to understand everyone and to watch over everyone. or maybe i just want to quietly be myself and that no one will mind me. i dont know.
i dont know. i wish i were known. i wish to leave a record of my existence.
i dont know. im sorry.
i think i might have turned out like this because of meds. ive been forced to take several pills since i was 4 and i think that severely damaged my body, brain and mind. it isnt my fault, but im sorry for turning out like this, im sorry for having behaved the way i did.
i like to think, hadnt i been drugged, i could have made decisions, i could have been myself from the start, i could have spent all of my childhood quietly and lonely studying mathematics and computer science in my bedroom like i think i should have, like i wanted to. and by the time i turned 18 i would have made a couple kks from crypto and would have been accepted to princetons undergraduate math course or something and by now i could be shining my light on the world.
i think my parents ruined my life. i dont care about me, but i would care if i were right that i have a talent for imagination and such things no one else has.
i think my life is completely ruined, i dont have a chance anymore, i feel like ive been raped beaten and thrown in a ditch, but ill keep trying because thats the only thing that makes sense.
i wish i could explain what i feel and what im going through. i feel like finally accessing a part of my brain i should have accessed when i was a child. i think now is too late and even if i turn this switch inside me its not going to get me anywhere. i feel like walking through the barrier to another dimension. i feel like im leaving this world. i feel like death is embracing me, consuming me, absorbing me. its so scary. its complete loneliness. but at the same time i feel so much power. i feel complete freedom. i feel like in a world with no rules, where i can do absolutely anything i could ever dare to imagine without repercussions, i feel like having reached infinity.
i dont know what is it that i want. i know for a fact i care about other people, maybe i wish to understand everyone and to watch over everyone. or maybe i just want to quietly be myself and that no one will mind me. i dont know.
i dont know. i wish i were known. i wish to leave a record of my existence.
i dont know. im sorry.
Got drunk yesterday and remembered how good things can be, and I could imagine there being beauty in the world.
I had completely forgotten that feeling.
Maybe it's cope, but it gave me a little hope.
I had completely forgotten that feeling.
Maybe it's cope, but it gave me a little hope.
>>257362
This is just sad. Feel bad about the pills.
However, you seem to fetishize math and comp sci a lot, but it doesn't seem you've ever tried to even study them. You like the idea of Math & CS more than you like the subjects in itself.
This is just sad. Feel bad about the pills.
However, you seem to fetishize math and comp sci a lot, but it doesn't seem you've ever tried to even study them. You like the idea of Math & CS more than you like the subjects in itself.
>>257103
I'm going to be racist on the internet every day and you're going to cry yourself to sleep over it every night.
There's nothing wrong with being racist, you worthless parasite. What makes you think you're entitled to the fruits of white civilization?
I hope you're shaking as you read this lol
I'm going to be racist on the internet every day and you're going to cry yourself to sleep over it every night.
There's nothing wrong with being racist, you worthless parasite. What makes you think you're entitled to the fruits of white civilization?
I hope you're shaking as you read this lol
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>>257367
in addition to taking several different drugs since i was about 4 there were several other factors that made me turn out like this. for example, genetics. theres a reason why i had to be highly sedated in the first place. also severe psychological stress. i was abused in many ways, for example physically tortured by a psychopathic father. i mean electrocution, that sort of physical torture. there are plenty of studies that show electric shocks have positive and negative effects on the human brain.
its not my fault but im sorry that i turned out like this, im sorry for having said all the stupid things i said, im sorry for not living my purpose until now, im sorry if its too late and ill fail no matter what i might try, im sorry for having behaved so badly. i wasnt being myself, i was a sleeping prisoner inside my own body.
im about to open my eyes but i think its too late. i dont have any money, knowledge or friends, i was born in one of the worst possible places in the world. my course of action should be to acquire massive amounts of knowledge, i should read textbooks by the thousands. without knowledge, my cognitive powers are useless. with knowledge, i can then prove my incredible usefulness to others and acquire money. and then i can serve my purpose of helping others, and things will always keep improving for everyone. but i think i wont be able to go through the learning period because im poor and sickly and my life is fragile. for example, my country could collapse economically and socially and then i could get killed by violent bandits on my way to the university campus. i could die from a heart attack because i have tons of risk factors associated with heart attacks, and so on. i need stability to learn but i think i wont have that. i think its too late and ill be burried without ever being able to show whats inside me. i think theres an infinite light inside me and i want to unleash it but i think its impossible now. i think i could make things from thin air and give them for free but i think i cant get where i need to be to do so.
i dont know. most of all i just want to express what im feeling and what i think will happen. i think i will be erased from this world like i never existed. im disappearing, desintegrating, i feel like im dematerializing. i feel like there was something i was supposed to do in this state but this state will change now. ive never felt change like this before, its like turning the page and forgetting about the previous. i feel like releasing my memories, unallocating the memory space and allowing everything to be overwritten, its like im telling my brain i can just forget everything that happened until now and that my brain can start from zero. i feel like being erased. it is a very simple feeling, becoming nothingness, but its so scary, and i have to allow it to happen. i wish i could express how much fear i feel.
and i wish i could express whats on the "other side", its a new world, a different world, my world. im not something in that world, i am the world. i feel like i can keep growing and expanding forever. the speed of growth always increases, and the speed increases at increasing rates, and the rate of increase of the rates of increase increases, and i expand to increasing orders of infinity, at speeds of increasing orders of infinity. every instant matters and is different from all the previous, nothing is predictable like in an algorithm, yet there is self-evident order and principles. theres only light expanding in all directions and i feel like an inflating soap bubble that can only get bigger and bigger. there is so much peace, i feel all the freedom there is, i feel like i am where i should be, i feel like everything is where it should be, everything is so perfect that it feels nothing could destroy this world. maybe this world will keep existing even if i die in this world. its a world completely separate from this world, its unaffected by anything that goes in here. its bliss, happiness, life. but maybe its bound by my brain so if i die it will stop existing materially and will only to continue to exist metaphysically. i dont know.
i dont know, i just wanted to leave a record of my existence, i want to scream i existed, i wanted to scream i think i had a purpose and that i could not fulfill my role due to circumstances far beyond my control. i think i belong somewhere, that i belong with some group of people, but i fell of their radar, and now im lost. i think somehow souls were summoned to this world and were not meant to die here, but i will because ive been forgotten. the poverty you see in the world is not how life is supposed to be, its not how it usually is, the universe is bountiful. this era is a ladder to that bountifulness, but i cant climb it, even though i know how to harvest much better than possibly anyone.
i dont know. im sorry for typing several paragraphs of schizophrenic nonsense. i wanted to express that there is something important that i can feel but it cannot be expressed in words, there is something important but words cannot touch what it is. in short im sorry for being a failure, i just wanted to say that among other things i was severely drugged since i was 4 but now im not anymore and i will try to savage whats left of my life. i dont know, i just wanted to scream, and it is comforting to think a real soul might have read this, and made them think something other than "gibberish" even though i know they wont.
i dont know. im scared of that other side. im scared of the loneliness. its so awesome but im being erased. i dont know. im going to do it. im going to descend into the abyss to another world. i wish i could express the sadness and the nothingness, i wish i could express the ocean of black water im sinking into, i wish i could express what i feel. i will sink and become separate, i will become discrete, not understandable, i will fight this world, i will start a chain reaction and i hope it sustains itself forever.
in this instant im a schizo. but im about to change into a performance obsessed psychopath.
my sign is capricorn and its tarot card is the beast, i think thats meaningful, because practically speaking, i will be a monster at all things related to computing. i think computing is magic. programs are spells. i will show you witchcraft so different from everything you believe real that you will turn crazy.
i dont know sorry. i dont know. im sorry. i promise i will change now.
in addition to taking several different drugs since i was about 4 there were several other factors that made me turn out like this. for example, genetics. theres a reason why i had to be highly sedated in the first place. also severe psychological stress. i was abused in many ways, for example physically tortured by a psychopathic father. i mean electrocution, that sort of physical torture. there are plenty of studies that show electric shocks have positive and negative effects on the human brain.
its not my fault but im sorry that i turned out like this, im sorry for having said all the stupid things i said, im sorry for not living my purpose until now, im sorry if its too late and ill fail no matter what i might try, im sorry for having behaved so badly. i wasnt being myself, i was a sleeping prisoner inside my own body.
im about to open my eyes but i think its too late. i dont have any money, knowledge or friends, i was born in one of the worst possible places in the world. my course of action should be to acquire massive amounts of knowledge, i should read textbooks by the thousands. without knowledge, my cognitive powers are useless. with knowledge, i can then prove my incredible usefulness to others and acquire money. and then i can serve my purpose of helping others, and things will always keep improving for everyone. but i think i wont be able to go through the learning period because im poor and sickly and my life is fragile. for example, my country could collapse economically and socially and then i could get killed by violent bandits on my way to the university campus. i could die from a heart attack because i have tons of risk factors associated with heart attacks, and so on. i need stability to learn but i think i wont have that. i think its too late and ill be burried without ever being able to show whats inside me. i think theres an infinite light inside me and i want to unleash it but i think its impossible now. i think i could make things from thin air and give them for free but i think i cant get where i need to be to do so.
i dont know. most of all i just want to express what im feeling and what i think will happen. i think i will be erased from this world like i never existed. im disappearing, desintegrating, i feel like im dematerializing. i feel like there was something i was supposed to do in this state but this state will change now. ive never felt change like this before, its like turning the page and forgetting about the previous. i feel like releasing my memories, unallocating the memory space and allowing everything to be overwritten, its like im telling my brain i can just forget everything that happened until now and that my brain can start from zero. i feel like being erased. it is a very simple feeling, becoming nothingness, but its so scary, and i have to allow it to happen. i wish i could express how much fear i feel.
and i wish i could express whats on the "other side", its a new world, a different world, my world. im not something in that world, i am the world. i feel like i can keep growing and expanding forever. the speed of growth always increases, and the speed increases at increasing rates, and the rate of increase of the rates of increase increases, and i expand to increasing orders of infinity, at speeds of increasing orders of infinity. every instant matters and is different from all the previous, nothing is predictable like in an algorithm, yet there is self-evident order and principles. theres only light expanding in all directions and i feel like an inflating soap bubble that can only get bigger and bigger. there is so much peace, i feel all the freedom there is, i feel like i am where i should be, i feel like everything is where it should be, everything is so perfect that it feels nothing could destroy this world. maybe this world will keep existing even if i die in this world. its a world completely separate from this world, its unaffected by anything that goes in here. its bliss, happiness, life. but maybe its bound by my brain so if i die it will stop existing materially and will only to continue to exist metaphysically. i dont know.
i dont know, i just wanted to leave a record of my existence, i want to scream i existed, i wanted to scream i think i had a purpose and that i could not fulfill my role due to circumstances far beyond my control. i think i belong somewhere, that i belong with some group of people, but i fell of their radar, and now im lost. i think somehow souls were summoned to this world and were not meant to die here, but i will because ive been forgotten. the poverty you see in the world is not how life is supposed to be, its not how it usually is, the universe is bountiful. this era is a ladder to that bountifulness, but i cant climb it, even though i know how to harvest much better than possibly anyone.
i dont know. im sorry for typing several paragraphs of schizophrenic nonsense. i wanted to express that there is something important that i can feel but it cannot be expressed in words, there is something important but words cannot touch what it is. in short im sorry for being a failure, i just wanted to say that among other things i was severely drugged since i was 4 but now im not anymore and i will try to savage whats left of my life. i dont know, i just wanted to scream, and it is comforting to think a real soul might have read this, and made them think something other than "gibberish" even though i know they wont.
i dont know. im scared of that other side. im scared of the loneliness. its so awesome but im being erased. i dont know. im going to do it. im going to descend into the abyss to another world. i wish i could express the sadness and the nothingness, i wish i could express the ocean of black water im sinking into, i wish i could express what i feel. i will sink and become separate, i will become discrete, not understandable, i will fight this world, i will start a chain reaction and i hope it sustains itself forever.
in this instant im a schizo. but im about to change into a performance obsessed psychopath.
my sign is capricorn and its tarot card is the beast, i think thats meaningful, because practically speaking, i will be a monster at all things related to computing. i think computing is magic. programs are spells. i will show you witchcraft so different from everything you believe real that you will turn crazy.
i dont know sorry. i dont know. im sorry. i promise i will change now.
>>257064
Sorry for the late response. What do you mean, "what people are really like"? I am completely invisible to the people around me and the truth is I don't think I like other people very much but this is probably just a "me" problem. Am I just supposed to wait and meet the right people? How much longer do I have to wait? All life is to me is just waiting for something to happen. A part of me just wants to kms but I probably would have done it by now if I was seriously considering it.
Sorry for the late response. What do you mean, "what people are really like"? I am completely invisible to the people around me and the truth is I don't think I like other people very much but this is probably just a "me" problem. Am I just supposed to wait and meet the right people? How much longer do I have to wait? All life is to me is just waiting for something to happen. A part of me just wants to kms but I probably would have done it by now if I was seriously considering it.
this website is a breath of fresh air when compared to all of the shit-talking normalfaggots in the world
>>255892
It's almost like a preventable war where innocents die or have their lives destroyed is more tragic than a contagious disease that no one can do anything about and eventually we all will get but only <0.01 will die from it and most of them will have severe comorbidities.
It's almost like a preventable war where innocents die or have their lives destroyed is more tragic than a contagious disease that no one can do anything about and eventually we all will get but only <0.01 will die from it and most of them will have severe comorbidities.
>23
>living with parents
>failed at school
>failed in life
>barely left my house for 5 years
>lost contact with my only friend
>dad is trying to throw me away any given chance
>no job
>deep in existential crisis for almost a decade
>gained a lot of fat lately and smoking for more than 2 years
I tried to kill myself a week ago but couldn't do it. Pulling the trigger scared me. I am too afraid to die and had nothing left to live
>living with parents
>failed at school
>failed in life
>barely left my house for 5 years
>lost contact with my only friend
>dad is trying to throw me away any given chance
>no job
>deep in existential crisis for almost a decade
>gained a lot of fat lately and smoking for more than 2 years
I tried to kill myself a week ago but couldn't do it. Pulling the trigger scared me. I am too afraid to die and had nothing left to live
>>257383
Capricorn here also. I believe you for what that's worth.
I've seen so many people with formidable talents not finding "their place" in the world, and as a result being left without the means to prove their worth. Do we really need to prove anything to anyone though? If the very society that depends on our utility has failed to not only give us a path to actualization, but trampled that path and then set it on fire, doesn't that speak for itself?
I could be wrong and maybe this isn't the case everywhere, but I hear this echoed by both younger and older folk usually when least expected. I think we can measure our abilities for ourselves well enough, and the struggle may be worth it by itself.
What kind of computing sorcery can you do, if you want to share here? Also no need to be sorry — sounds like you've had a rough ride and this is one of the better places to tell your story after all.
Capricorn here also. I believe you for what that's worth.
I've seen so many people with formidable talents not finding "their place" in the world, and as a result being left without the means to prove their worth. Do we really need to prove anything to anyone though? If the very society that depends on our utility has failed to not only give us a path to actualization, but trampled that path and then set it on fire, doesn't that speak for itself?
I could be wrong and maybe this isn't the case everywhere, but I hear this echoed by both younger and older folk usually when least expected. I think we can measure our abilities for ourselves well enough, and the struggle may be worth it by itself.
What kind of computing sorcery can you do, if you want to share here? Also no need to be sorry — sounds like you've had a rough ride and this is one of the better places to tell your story after all.
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