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Post here when you don't have enough to say for a topic and it's too depressing for the general crawl thread.
suicide is a romanticized concept in TV and film and we all know it. That, or my brain is screwed up so much that I romanticize things I shouldn't.
Why is suicide so freaking scary?
Like, I'm afraid I will mess it up and have to live like a vegetable, having to live the same life over and over again or awaking in an even worse life.
I'm convinced this is a hell world.
Like, I'm afraid I will mess it up and have to live like a vegetable, having to live the same life over and over again or awaking in an even worse life.
I'm convinced this is a hell world.
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does marijuana help with depression?
>>257503
That depends, do you like marijuana? Cause that's like asking if doing puzzles helps. It's pretty good at keeping off boredom.
That depends, do you like marijuana? Cause that's like asking if doing puzzles helps. It's pretty good at keeping off boredom.
>>257505
My point was it won't "cure" you. But I personally like it and so it helps me. You should try it a few times and see if it helps you relax or just makes you paranoid and suicidal. Cause it can do either.
My point was it won't "cure" you. But I personally like it and so it helps me. You should try it a few times and see if it helps you relax or just makes you paranoid and suicidal. Cause it can do either.
>>257490
That it is. Not just films, but in literature too. There is nothing inherently good or noble about suicide, in some cases it is good to escape unnecessary suffering but that's it. And most people who contemplate it won't do it anyway.
>>257500
It is scary as long as you like or enjoy this life even a little. Most people considering suicide don't want to die, they just want to escape the pain and suffering they experience currently.
That it is. Not just films, but in literature too. There is nothing inherently good or noble about suicide, in some cases it is good to escape unnecessary suffering but that's it. And most people who contemplate it won't do it anyway.
>>257500
It is scary as long as you like or enjoy this life even a little. Most people considering suicide don't want to die, they just want to escape the pain and suffering they experience currently.
>>257503
It's a gamble for me. Sometimes I have nice highs where I feel a physical euphoria and slightly elevated mood, other times it makes me more self-conscious and reserved.
It's a gamble for me. Sometimes I have nice highs where I feel a physical euphoria and slightly elevated mood, other times it makes me more self-conscious and reserved.
>>257503
It helps me. At low to moderate doses with no tolerance I found the drug to be highly euphoric and mentally stimulating, when a tolerance develops it's more like an antidepressant where you are more clearheaded and the euphoria is less intense but still enough to make you not want to kys. At least that was my experience. Since I got my medical card I have almost entirely stopped being suicidal. In the beginning there are intense food cravings but those become much more mild with tolerance and after that the only side effect is dry mouth and sometimes tiredness but that usually goes away if you do something active.
It helps me. At low to moderate doses with no tolerance I found the drug to be highly euphoric and mentally stimulating, when a tolerance develops it's more like an antidepressant where you are more clearheaded and the euphoria is less intense but still enough to make you not want to kys. At least that was my experience. Since I got my medical card I have almost entirely stopped being suicidal. In the beginning there are intense food cravings but those become much more mild with tolerance and after that the only side effect is dry mouth and sometimes tiredness but that usually goes away if you do something active.
>>257530
It doesn't feel good. My body is decaying from disuse. I know my life is empty and I should fill it with some goal, even something as simple as watching anime. I have no desire to do anything.
It doesn't feel good. My body is decaying from disuse. I know my life is empty and I should fill it with some goal, even something as simple as watching anime. I have no desire to do anything.
>>257529
you can begin by sleeping early to regulate your internal clock but then again it's hard to keep a habit when you've nothing to look forward to in your life, seems like you're depressed and that your problem lays deeper.
i'm not going to tell you to "just fix your depression bro" because you've heard it 100 times and i know you're working on it, so i'll just say good luck with your struggle
you can begin by sleeping early to regulate your internal clock but then again it's hard to keep a habit when you've nothing to look forward to in your life, seems like you're depressed and that your problem lays deeper.
i'm not going to tell you to "just fix your depression bro" because you've heard it 100 times and i know you're working on it, so i'll just say good luck with your struggle
>>257508
Suicide just is. Not bad or good IMO. I will die by suicide no matter if I'm happy or not though. It's just the way I've decided I want to die. If I go gray and it's the end of my life, I will end it myself. If I'm still young with no ailments and want to end it, it'll be through suicide (obviously).
Suicide just is. Not bad or good IMO. I will die by suicide no matter if I'm happy or not though. It's just the way I've decided I want to die. If I go gray and it's the end of my life, I will end it myself. If I'm still young with no ailments and want to end it, it'll be through suicide (obviously).
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I feel like my constant feelings of inferiority stem from my mother. Both me and my brother are fucked up, and she abused us both pretty bad. Every single morning, without fail, began with her ranting at us about how we're horrible narcissistic pieces of shit and how "no other mother has to deal with such horrible children". The ranting would literally go on for half an hour. If we tried to do anything, anything at all, she'd go on a hysterical rant about how we fuck everything up and make more work for her. So my entire childhood I spent in front of the playstation, and all her insults kind of just became background noise. At school I was a notoriously naughty child and a bit of a sadistic bully, because the scolding I got there were just so inconsequential to what I got at home. I developed a sort of learned helplessness, sort of like the Ludovico technique from a clockwork orange, where I had a strange adversion to any exertion and just wanted to play playstation and fuck around all day.
At my birthday one year she went on about the family dog dying, the one she overfed into a chonker, she gleefully and sadistically went into full detail about how the dog choked on its own vomit and died by the front door, it was a lynchian horror moment. She adopts sickly dogs from the shelter to waffle on about how uwu hard she has it looking after such retarded doggos. She made out me and my brother were retarded sickly kids, incapable of anything, got us loaded on a cocktail of drugs, barely fed us, insulted us every day. The only thing that was expected of us was intelligence. Her fantasy was having sickly children that were uwu helpless, but also had to be super geniuses that would one day be working as engineers and scientists or some cerebral narcissistic bullshit.
At my birthday one year she went on about the family dog dying, the one she overfed into a chonker, she gleefully and sadistically went into full detail about how the dog choked on its own vomit and died by the front door, it was a lynchian horror moment. She adopts sickly dogs from the shelter to waffle on about how uwu hard she has it looking after such retarded doggos. She made out me and my brother were retarded sickly kids, incapable of anything, got us loaded on a cocktail of drugs, barely fed us, insulted us every day. The only thing that was expected of us was intelligence. Her fantasy was having sickly children that were uwu helpless, but also had to be super geniuses that would one day be working as engineers and scientists or some cerebral narcissistic bullshit.
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>>257535
How are you still alive
How are you still alive
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>>257540
You were supposed to post a stare face wizard, you failed.
You were supposed to post a stare face wizard, you failed.
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It just doesn't get better
>>257534
I highly doubt it you will kill yourself but whatever. Good luck.
>>257554
I wish UBI was a thing where I live. Not a chance, though. And not because my country is so poor but because the men running it don't want to waste any money on people like me, instead they give more money to the rich and "successful" people with families and good jobs.
I highly doubt it you will kill yourself but whatever. Good luck.
>>257554
I wish UBI was a thing where I live. Not a chance, though. And not because my country is so poor but because the men running it don't want to waste any money on people like me, instead they give more money to the rich and "successful" people with families and good jobs.
I forced myself to get a hobby because the doing nothing wore down my sanity. The hobby ended up being so boring but I hate the idea of going back to doing nothing.
I think my mental health is just getting worse as I get older. I guess I had some kind of hope in my 20s and the depression didn't seem that bad. But now that I'm 30, everything just feels worse. People expect a lot out of me because I'm 30 now, but I'm still a mentally ill fuckup. The walls closing in, the isolation, the shame I feel… it just makes everything so much worse now. Soon enough I'll have to deal with my parents getting old, and I can't even take of myself.
how do you cure anhedonia
literally dont care about any of the other stuff because if i cure the anhedonia i can just ignore any other problems by playing games or something
literally dont care about any of the other stuff because if i cure the anhedonia i can just ignore any other problems by playing games or something
The idea that I actually do have complete free will is bringing me absolutely no peace even though it was told to me (rather, to somebody else) to help my depression. Just feels like I have squandered most of my life. Anhedonia makes it so that I have no real desire to improve my life. Someone in another thread said that people actually enjoy their life of solitude, and if they didn't they would have fixed it by now, but all they do is complain. Oh, well.
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I like to imagine what comes after death, as it brings modest relief from severe bouts of anhedonia and malaise. Death is the final frontier; all we know, or think we know, about what comes after is mere speculation which is touted as genuine knowledge thanks to a little thing called the human ego. it very well might be hell, or the void, or purgatory, or reincarnation into the material world as a worse-off lifeform–but there is no reason to presuppose such. It's hard to overcome the influence of prevailing notions of the afterlife; one reason being that a great many people with more wisdom and spiritual feeling in their little finger than I contain in my entire corpus have debated, rather hotly, over the course of many centuries and formulated many compelling arguments for what lies beyond. In the face of all this I feel silly trying to put forth the (poorly-articulated) idea that life after death is just, like, bliss duuuude… But sometimes we must be silly. The world is too grim to get by in without a bit of humor.
it could be an eternity of bliss: imagine spending eons enveloped in the warmth of a cloud-like substance that stretches out in every direction as far as the mind can perceive, and floating without a body through this eternal void–and this is not a cruel, gaping abyss of a void, but rather a chamber within a vast, beating heart. Now that I think about it, this kind of description suggests an existence within a immense, unknowable yet benevolent being; it's a sort of return to the womb. On daydreaming about this sort of existence, and how our squalid waking lives pale in comparison, it's suddenly much easier to bear the fact that I'm an aging failure with no connections or prospects within human society.
it could be an eternity of bliss: imagine spending eons enveloped in the warmth of a cloud-like substance that stretches out in every direction as far as the mind can perceive, and floating without a body through this eternal void–and this is not a cruel, gaping abyss of a void, but rather a chamber within a vast, beating heart. Now that I think about it, this kind of description suggests an existence within a immense, unknowable yet benevolent being; it's a sort of return to the womb. On daydreaming about this sort of existence, and how our squalid waking lives pale in comparison, it's suddenly much easier to bear the fact that I'm an aging failure with no connections or prospects within human society.
>>257535
I used to have an acquaintance who had a mother just like that. Tormented him and his younger siblings all their life until he was old enough to escape. I wonder if someone with such a mother would feel relief by strangling her to death. I imagine it would satisfy a temporary lust for revenge, but would be pointless as nothing can undo the damage. I think it'd be better to get back at the system which allows such a despicable creature to care for children in the first place.
I used to have an acquaintance who had a mother just like that. Tormented him and his younger siblings all their life until he was old enough to escape. I wonder if someone with such a mother would feel relief by strangling her to death. I imagine it would satisfy a temporary lust for revenge, but would be pointless as nothing can undo the damage. I think it'd be better to get back at the system which allows such a despicable creature to care for children in the first place.
>>257602
The fantasy of sick children no longer becomes fun for them when the kids hit 16-18, suddenly having a helpless loser son makes people no longer think "oh poor single mother who has it so hard" and it becomes a "well she's a terrible mother". So there's a hysterical 180 where after a lifetime of "you're incapable of anything, don't try" you go to "You're a lazy piece of shit who does nothing, no effort". Her own munchausen behavior started to die off as she got older as well, when being sickly was expected, nobody cares if an old lady has health complications. Suddenly we went from cancer/MS/misfiring nerve/brain damage to radio silence.
>I think it'd be better to get back at the system which allows such a despicable creature to care for children in the first place.
I don't think there's any stopping them short of them not having a husband to keep them on a leash. As soon as social welfare allowed these abominations to raise children it was all over. Living what I've lived has given me a bit of an insight into this, I can say watching those docos like "I am Jazz" that all those children transitions have the same sort of attention seeking mothers that I have.
The fantasy of sick children no longer becomes fun for them when the kids hit 16-18, suddenly having a helpless loser son makes people no longer think "oh poor single mother who has it so hard" and it becomes a "well she's a terrible mother". So there's a hysterical 180 where after a lifetime of "you're incapable of anything, don't try" you go to "You're a lazy piece of shit who does nothing, no effort". Her own munchausen behavior started to die off as she got older as well, when being sickly was expected, nobody cares if an old lady has health complications. Suddenly we went from cancer/MS/misfiring nerve/brain damage to radio silence.
>I think it'd be better to get back at the system which allows such a despicable creature to care for children in the first place.
I don't think there's any stopping them short of them not having a husband to keep them on a leash. As soon as social welfare allowed these abominations to raise children it was all over. Living what I've lived has given me a bit of an insight into this, I can say watching those docos like "I am Jazz" that all those children transitions have the same sort of attention seeking mothers that I have.
>>257594
Prime normalfag thinking there. Avoidance is a meme created by normals who can't understand that not everyone is like them. "Whaaaat? You don't want to talk about 'enlightened' topics like football or sex with your drunken bros? Or you would rather masturbate at home or be celibate than try to get into some annoying succ's pants?! You are crazy maaan!"
As long as you allow their values to rule your thinking there is no hope for you.
>>257593
If you don't want to "improve" that is fine too. As long as you enjoy it…that's what counts. There are many people who like being miserable and to play the victim, especially succubi. I'm not trying to insult you, just saying my true opinion.
Time lost is something you can't fix. The best you can do is concentrate on the present. I feel like you don't know yourself well enough and don't even know what you want in life. Know thyself was the saying of the oracle of the greeks…for a good reason. Also, if you want general advice on anhedonia read on what I say to the next guy.
>>257590
Willpower. First you won't enjoy what you do but continue anyway. If you do something regularly or for longer periods of time you will get into it, that is if you are interested in the thing even a little bit. If it is video games, the go play them, even if you don't find pleasure in them first. Transcend the pleasure-pain axis and you will reach the point when you do it because you want to and because you set it before yourself as some kind of duty. And THEN, ironically, will come the pleasure again. This is true for most things generally, pleasure escapes you when you aim for it directly. Make yourself suffer a little, go on reading that book that is boring, go play that game that is meh, go on watching that movie which seems bad to you anyway. Why? Because you WANT to.
>>257572
Don't give up. This is a good start. Anything is better than staring at the wall all day or jerking off and refreshing chans the whole day.
>>257599
That sounds boring, no offense. I have the same problem with most after life fantasy. For myself, I hope I will reincarnate again into life as a human being who can continue learning, seeking wisdom, striving for power and enjoying art/media. I have so many things I want to do in this life, even 1000 years wouldn't be enough to read all the books, watch all the movies and anime I want.
Prime normalfag thinking there. Avoidance is a meme created by normals who can't understand that not everyone is like them. "Whaaaat? You don't want to talk about 'enlightened' topics like football or sex with your drunken bros? Or you would rather masturbate at home or be celibate than try to get into some annoying succ's pants?! You are crazy maaan!"
As long as you allow their values to rule your thinking there is no hope for you.
>>257593
If you don't want to "improve" that is fine too. As long as you enjoy it…that's what counts. There are many people who like being miserable and to play the victim, especially succubi. I'm not trying to insult you, just saying my true opinion.
Time lost is something you can't fix. The best you can do is concentrate on the present. I feel like you don't know yourself well enough and don't even know what you want in life. Know thyself was the saying of the oracle of the greeks…for a good reason. Also, if you want general advice on anhedonia read on what I say to the next guy.
>>257590
Willpower. First you won't enjoy what you do but continue anyway. If you do something regularly or for longer periods of time you will get into it, that is if you are interested in the thing even a little bit. If it is video games, the go play them, even if you don't find pleasure in them first. Transcend the pleasure-pain axis and you will reach the point when you do it because you want to and because you set it before yourself as some kind of duty. And THEN, ironically, will come the pleasure again. This is true for most things generally, pleasure escapes you when you aim for it directly. Make yourself suffer a little, go on reading that book that is boring, go play that game that is meh, go on watching that movie which seems bad to you anyway. Why? Because you WANT to.
>>257572
Don't give up. This is a good start. Anything is better than staring at the wall all day or jerking off and refreshing chans the whole day.
>>257599
That sounds boring, no offense. I have the same problem with most after life fantasy. For myself, I hope I will reincarnate again into life as a human being who can continue learning, seeking wisdom, striving for power and enjoying art/media. I have so many things I want to do in this life, even 1000 years wouldn't be enough to read all the books, watch all the movies and anime I want.
I want a house, but impossible in this market. Will stay in this rental commie apartment for life it seems. I will probably just end my life soon enough, cant take hearing my neighbor stomp and drill anymore
>>257599
I'll definitely be with my waifu in the afterlife. Apparently, all I've to do is just not step into the tunnel of light and that's it.
I'll definitely be with my waifu in the afterlife. Apparently, all I've to do is just not step into the tunnel of light and that's it.
>>257622
I don’t think I will ever be happy with my current position no matter if I improve my anhedonia. I can, at the very least, make it tolerable and force myself to start liking things and go from there.
I don’t think I will ever be happy with my current position no matter if I improve my anhedonia. I can, at the very least, make it tolerable and force myself to start liking things and go from there.
Anyone else stuck in the trap of having nothing to occupy your time, so you try to find a form of media to indulge in and distract yourself, only for it to only make you feel even more like shit?
>>257647
I actually find that the media itself puts me in a better mood than communities or circles that discuss it. I feel like virtual communication in general (especially these days) has an at least nominally pessimistic focus with regard to any given subject, even if people actually find enjoyment and/or happiness when they simply engage with the subject in a vacuum.
In modern times, the internet seems to be fixated on complaining and culture wars, so usually I end up in a better mood just engaging in something directly. This doesn't just apply to media, but any subject.
I actually find that the media itself puts me in a better mood than communities or circles that discuss it. I feel like virtual communication in general (especially these days) has an at least nominally pessimistic focus with regard to any given subject, even if people actually find enjoyment and/or happiness when they simply engage with the subject in a vacuum.
In modern times, the internet seems to be fixated on complaining and culture wars, so usually I end up in a better mood just engaging in something directly. This doesn't just apply to media, but any subject.
>>257647
I'm watching random tv shows. I don't like them but it's better to experience audio and moving pictures than staring at the ceiling.
I'm watching random tv shows. I don't like them but it's better to experience audio and moving pictures than staring at the ceiling.
>>257635
What do you dislike about your current position exactly and how do you imagine a happy life?
>>257649
Yes, engaging in media is the wizardly thing to do, I mean the most wizardly thing. There is something holy about the whole deal, you get to experience the best adventures and the worst tragedies, horrors without suffering from anything yourself, all while staying in your comfy room. I don't understand how normals prefer doing actual things in the real world when they could just visit thousands of worlds through books, movies, manga, comics, VNs, TV shows.
>>257647
Maybe don't watch/read ultra-normalfag media? Why would you even feel like shit from it?
>>257630
Depends on luck mostly but you can work towards it too. It can get better, don't listen to the other poster.
What do you dislike about your current position exactly and how do you imagine a happy life?
>>257649
Yes, engaging in media is the wizardly thing to do, I mean the most wizardly thing. There is something holy about the whole deal, you get to experience the best adventures and the worst tragedies, horrors without suffering from anything yourself, all while staying in your comfy room. I don't understand how normals prefer doing actual things in the real world when they could just visit thousands of worlds through books, movies, manga, comics, VNs, TV shows.
>>257647
Maybe don't watch/read ultra-normalfag media? Why would you even feel like shit from it?
>>257630
Depends on luck mostly but you can work towards it too. It can get better, don't listen to the other poster.
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Stardew valley is mind poison.
It makes you fall in love with these little characters and have a "family", and then sooner or later you're reminded that you're just sitting alone in your room making doofy faces at a computer screen. It’s also sad how a little country life is unattainable high fantasy on par with Tolkien at this point.
Also embarrassing that I spent the entirety of this week playing something that has a target audience of middle-aged succubi. I was even supposed to be doing something important that I didn’t do.
It makes you fall in love with these little characters and have a "family", and then sooner or later you're reminded that you're just sitting alone in your room making doofy faces at a computer screen. It’s also sad how a little country life is unattainable high fantasy on par with Tolkien at this point.
Also embarrassing that I spent the entirety of this week playing something that has a target audience of middle-aged succubi. I was even supposed to be doing something important that I didn’t do.
>>257664
Then go outside and live real life to the fullest. These vidya games are just that, a distraction from the infinitely more vibrant and rewarding reality outside of your room.
Then go outside and live real life to the fullest. These vidya games are just that, a distraction from the infinitely more vibrant and rewarding reality outside of your room.
>>257665
What website do you think you’re on?
May as well tell someone in a wheelchair they can run in the Olympics.
Hence the Tolkien comparison.
What website do you think you’re on?
May as well tell someone in a wheelchair they can run in the Olympics.
Hence the Tolkien comparison.
>>257664
Keep in mind that if reaching a little country life is impossible for you, then for the ones living a little country life it is impossible to live the life you're living
Keep in mind that if reaching a little country life is impossible for you, then for the ones living a little country life it is impossible to live the life you're living
>>257654
I feel unhappy no matter what I do so I occupied my time watching media which doesn’t bring me the same joy anymore and doesn’t distract me like it used to. I don’t actually know what I want for a happier life, but I’m too scared to go through with suicide (funny since it’s the coward’s way out as some people call it) so I feel like I’m sinking in my own quicksand.
I feel unhappy no matter what I do so I occupied my time watching media which doesn’t bring me the same joy anymore and doesn’t distract me like it used to. I don’t actually know what I want for a happier life, but I’m too scared to go through with suicide (funny since it’s the coward’s way out as some people call it) so I feel like I’m sinking in my own quicksand.
>>257665
How often do you engage with the “vibrant and rewarding reality” outside yours? I assumed everyone here was a NEET or a wageslave who doesn’t socialize much
How often do you engage with the “vibrant and rewarding reality” outside yours? I assumed everyone here was a NEET or a wageslave who doesn’t socialize much
>>257695
if you're not incompetent at socializing, why don't you engage with the chads & stacys "vibrant and rewarding reality" instead of being in this losers' board ?
if you're not incompetent at socializing, why don't you engage with the chads & stacys "vibrant and rewarding reality" instead of being in this losers' board ?
>>257696
>you MUST be depressed to be a wizard
>if you can socialize then you would OBVIOUSLY be out there doing it, it's not as if someone can willingly CHOOSE the solitary life and pursue knowledge and self-betterment
Bit by bit you reveal your own nature; you are a thwarted normalfag in wizard's robes. Nothing more.
>you MUST be depressed to be a wizard
>if you can socialize then you would OBVIOUSLY be out there doing it, it's not as if someone can willingly CHOOSE the solitary life and pursue knowledge and self-betterment
Bit by bit you reveal your own nature; you are a thwarted normalfag in wizard's robes. Nothing more.
God OCD is hell. This sticky mess of structures. I would do anything to get rid of this. I’ve had tastes of contentment over the years and I wish I could find a way to kill this OCD once and for all. My grandparents are visiting for Easter and I can’t enjoy their company without this godforsaken OCD eating away at my brain. I wouldn’t wish this upon anyone.
>>257705
You must use your willpower and discipline to fight off the delusion that you suffer from "illnesses", which the psychiatric establishment has burdened you with. In the pursuit of money and total control over everyone, they have resorted to diagnosing people at the drop of a hat with phony diseases and charging for phony cures. They've only made you think you are ill, but I believe in you wizard. Fight the good fight against these soul-draining Jews.
You must use your willpower and discipline to fight off the delusion that you suffer from "illnesses", which the psychiatric establishment has burdened you with. In the pursuit of money and total control over everyone, they have resorted to diagnosing people at the drop of a hat with phony diseases and charging for phony cures. They've only made you think you are ill, but I believe in you wizard. Fight the good fight against these soul-draining Jews.
>>257700
>you MUST be depressed to be a wizard
Well … first, you are in the /dep/ board. You big dummy.
Second, I didn't say that.
I said if you are not incompetent at socializing and thus have an active social life, why are you here ?
>you MUST be depressed to be a wizard
Well … first, you are in the /dep/ board. You big dummy.
Second, I didn't say that.
I said if you are not incompetent at socializing and thus have an active social life, why are you here ?
>>257711
>if you are not incompetent at socializing and thus have an active social life, why are you here ?
When you ask questions like this it gives us the impression that you'd cease to be depressed if you became socially active. There are AT LEAST 480 reasons to be depressed that have nothing to do with social skills or the size of the friend sphere. Many men who kill themselves to the point where they die do so surrounded by loving friends and family, but for one reason or 479 others, those people aren't enough to keep him grounded to the mortal plane. Why do YOU think he's here despite him having the skills to summon friends?
>if you are not incompetent at socializing and thus have an active social life, why are you here ?
When you ask questions like this it gives us the impression that you'd cease to be depressed if you became socially active. There are AT LEAST 480 reasons to be depressed that have nothing to do with social skills or the size of the friend sphere. Many men who kill themselves to the point where they die do so surrounded by loving friends and family, but for one reason or 479 others, those people aren't enough to keep him grounded to the mortal plane. Why do YOU think he's here despite him having the skills to summon friends?
>>257714
I don't know if you are the same guy I replied to.
If you are then I am genuinely curious about the reason you are here despite having an active social life.
I don't know if you are the same guy I replied to.
If you are then I am genuinely curious about the reason you are here despite having an active social life.
another year and absolutely nothing to show for it. i am beginning to think time itself isn't real. in 100 years i'll still be sitting here, doing the same banal things, enjoying nothing.
>>257669
You don't go through with suicide because you don't want to. In your place I would look for a solution to this
>I don’t actually know what I want for a happier life
As long as you don't even know why you are depressed or what you want you can't enjoy life. It is good to know what you want, everyone wants something, even you most likely, you just can't realize it on a conscious level.
>>257671
Haha, yes. I like how all these cityfolk idealize country life because they saw it in some anime or other things. Country life has lots of negative aspects, for one everyone knows everyone and the whole gossip shit can be annoying as hell.
Still, I've always lived in the country so I can't imagine myself living in a big city at all.
You don't go through with suicide because you don't want to. In your place I would look for a solution to this
>I don’t actually know what I want for a happier life
As long as you don't even know why you are depressed or what you want you can't enjoy life. It is good to know what you want, everyone wants something, even you most likely, you just can't realize it on a conscious level.
>>257671
Haha, yes. I like how all these cityfolk idealize country life because they saw it in some anime or other things. Country life has lots of negative aspects, for one everyone knows everyone and the whole gossip shit can be annoying as hell.
Still, I've always lived in the country so I can't imagine myself living in a big city at all.
>>257695
Sure but what is your vibrant and rewarding reality IRL? What is it that you do? Do you have an active friend group? Why did you choose the solitary life? I am not trying to be rude, I just want to know.
Sure but what is your vibrant and rewarding reality IRL? What is it that you do? Do you have an active friend group? Why did you choose the solitary life? I am not trying to be rude, I just want to know.
Having an alcohol craving and a quandary about quitting again
I'm not going back on the bottle, it ruined my life three fuckin times, fuck this I'm going to suffer
I'm not going back on the bottle, it ruined my life three fuckin times, fuck this I'm going to suffer
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i will keep trying but it doesnt look like im going to make it.
i wish i could express what i feel.
if i die, i wish to reincarnate. i wish i were born again in this era, with the same mind but with a normal home, family and body. i wish had spent thousands of hours with computers during my childhood and gone to a good university. i wish i werent so heavily drugged and that my childhood werent so bad.
i wish i had a chance to grow. i wish i could be myself. i wish i could give everything i can make and show everything i can see. at least i wish i could have been free.
i promise theres endless life inside me and i want to give it. and if you dont want it then let me keep it. i dont want to have existed in vain.
if i make it, im sorry for everything ive ever done and said so far. im sorry for having been so ugly.
i dont know. im sorry. i wish i could communicate.
i wish i could express what i feel.
if i die, i wish to reincarnate. i wish i were born again in this era, with the same mind but with a normal home, family and body. i wish had spent thousands of hours with computers during my childhood and gone to a good university. i wish i werent so heavily drugged and that my childhood werent so bad.
i wish i had a chance to grow. i wish i could be myself. i wish i could give everything i can make and show everything i can see. at least i wish i could have been free.
i promise theres endless life inside me and i want to give it. and if you dont want it then let me keep it. i dont want to have existed in vain.
if i make it, im sorry for everything ive ever done and said so far. im sorry for having been so ugly.
i dont know. im sorry. i wish i could communicate.
I'm planning on commiting suicide but before I do I want to beat down my high school bully in such a manner that his face will forever be that of a circus freak.
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>>257793
Use acid, it's more reliable.
Use acid, it's more reliable.
>>257793
i almost wish i had bullies because then i could pour all my resentment and hatred onto one or a few figures. everyone at school just had this uniform level of disgust and disdain for me, at best they ignored my existence and at the worst they treated me like i was covered in raw sewage.
i almost wish i had bullies because then i could pour all my resentment and hatred onto one or a few figures. everyone at school just had this uniform level of disgust and disdain for me, at best they ignored my existence and at the worst they treated me like i was covered in raw sewage.
Today absolutely everything feels boring and tiresome. I can’t find anything to watch. I can’t even find a good book to read. I can’t relate to any motivation for anything. I just sit in silence.
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This Asian guy from the "this is a no nigger zone" video got arrested, his real estate license revoked and fired from his job.
Honestly, I wouldn't even judge the guy if he want on some sort of rampage after this. I would totally be cheering him on (in minecraft).
Honestly, I wouldn't even judge the guy if he want on some sort of rampage after this. I would totally be cheering him on (in minecraft).
>>257842
normalfags salivate at the idea of ruining someone's life, of just trampling someone under a justifiable excuse. They don't care that someone said nigger, they just rejoice at the opportunity to act cruelly.
normalfags salivate at the idea of ruining someone's life, of just trampling someone under a justifiable excuse. They don't care that someone said nigger, they just rejoice at the opportunity to act cruelly.
I have this weird paradoxical feeling.
Everyone I see that is suicidal seems to have it better than me, and I feel like they are giving up too easily on life.
Everyone I think has it harder than me doesn't seem to be suicidal somehow, and I don't understand how that's possible.
I feel like I have it the worst out of every suicidal person, but not the worst out of every person. I never know what to do with these feelings.
Everyone I see that is suicidal seems to have it better than me, and I feel like they are giving up too easily on life.
Everyone I think has it harder than me doesn't seem to be suicidal somehow, and I don't understand how that's possible.
I feel like I have it the worst out of every suicidal person, but not the worst out of every person. I never know what to do with these feelings.
>>257842
I don't get it, what's wrong with this? Guy admits point blank that he's a racist, basically calls the guy the n-word for walking down the street and using his phone. Guy's obviously an asshole and only got fired because he was recorded doing something most of society agrees is disgusting. Probably not his first time calling people racial slurs in public. Why should anyone feel bad about this guy?
I don't get it, what's wrong with this? Guy admits point blank that he's a racist, basically calls the guy the n-word for walking down the street and using his phone. Guy's obviously an asshole and only got fired because he was recorded doing something most of society agrees is disgusting. Probably not his first time calling people racial slurs in public. Why should anyone feel bad about this guy?
>>257861
Because niggers are currently assaulting visible East Asians at every corner of America. Bloody rape and murder of Chinese and Koreans at the hands of Basketball Americans every day, and these monkeys admit is racially motivated. But, the MSM paints it as if Asians are the victim of White supremacists while promoting the idea that it is impossible for Africans to be racist. This guy didn't want to sell a house in a Chinese-dominant neighborhood to a black because he's aware that the black would just bring violence and crime to a peaceful place.
Blacks have their own self-made ghettos to be black in.
Because niggers are currently assaulting visible East Asians at every corner of America. Bloody rape and murder of Chinese and Koreans at the hands of Basketball Americans every day, and these monkeys admit is racially motivated. But, the MSM paints it as if Asians are the victim of White supremacists while promoting the idea that it is impossible for Africans to be racist. This guy didn't want to sell a house in a Chinese-dominant neighborhood to a black because he's aware that the black would just bring violence and crime to a peaceful place.
Blacks have their own self-made ghettos to be black in.
>>257862
So, all black people are violent criminals? The guy was taking pictures and minding his own business, not beating some granny on the street. I get that racists have their justifications and in their mind they're being heroes for telling a black guy he can't buy a house in their neighborhood, but most normal people see this kind of behavior in the video and feel physical repulsion and rightful anger. I hope the guy never works in real estate ever again. How many black families did he scare off with his "I'm a racist" taunts? Fuck that guy. Deserved everything he got and probably more LOL
So, all black people are violent criminals? The guy was taking pictures and minding his own business, not beating some granny on the street. I get that racists have their justifications and in their mind they're being heroes for telling a black guy he can't buy a house in their neighborhood, but most normal people see this kind of behavior in the video and feel physical repulsion and rightful anger. I hope the guy never works in real estate ever again. How many black families did he scare off with his "I'm a racist" taunts? Fuck that guy. Deserved everything he got and probably more LOL
>>257863
>So, all black people are violent criminals? The guy was taking pictures and minding his own business
#NotAllOrcs. Consider how despite being 13% of the USA population, Blacks commit over 55% of all violent crime in America. This statistical miracle gives anyone reason enough to avoid blacks. You can blame it on poor school funding, racisms, police brutality, or any other cope, but facts are facts.
It's the hypocrisy that gets to us true racists. When a Black realtor proclaims she wants to only sell to Black customers, she's regarded as a progressive, empowered hero and given tax breaks. When any other ethnicity does it, they are racist. Selling someone a property in a black neighborhood is the new "Florida Swampland scam". Black neighborhoods don't welcome anyone who isn't black and society at large sees that as OK.
Cultures aren't compatible, nor are the intrinsic characteristics passed down through genetics. Black culture and what it does to its environment is antithetical to Chinese and White culture. It's a long forgotten responsibility of realtors and home builders to not do anything to harm the wellbeing of a neighborhood. This man knows the reality of racial diversity and didn't want to be responsible for the damage of making a homogeneous or compatibly-diverse neighborhood in to a multiracial hellhole.
We are not built equal. Diversity has failed. We're not pieces of the same puzzle. I just go Deja-Vu writing this.
>but most normal people
Most normal people wouldn't stop to smell a new kind of flower they saw growing. Most normal people think having children then leaving them with $500,000 of debt upon dying is sane. Most normal people think virgin men should be beaten and arrested for abstaining from the touch of succubi. Most people were educated by the same institutions that are now teaching kids that they're probably going to be happier if they cut off their genitals.
>So, all black people are violent criminals? The guy was taking pictures and minding his own business
#NotAllOrcs. Consider how despite being 13% of the USA population, Blacks commit over 55% of all violent crime in America. This statistical miracle gives anyone reason enough to avoid blacks. You can blame it on poor school funding, racisms, police brutality, or any other cope, but facts are facts.
It's the hypocrisy that gets to us true racists. When a Black realtor proclaims she wants to only sell to Black customers, she's regarded as a progressive, empowered hero and given tax breaks. When any other ethnicity does it, they are racist. Selling someone a property in a black neighborhood is the new "Florida Swampland scam". Black neighborhoods don't welcome anyone who isn't black and society at large sees that as OK.
Cultures aren't compatible, nor are the intrinsic characteristics passed down through genetics. Black culture and what it does to its environment is antithetical to Chinese and White culture. It's a long forgotten responsibility of realtors and home builders to not do anything to harm the wellbeing of a neighborhood. This man knows the reality of racial diversity and didn't want to be responsible for the damage of making a homogeneous or compatibly-diverse neighborhood in to a multiracial hellhole.
We are not built equal. Diversity has failed. We're not pieces of the same puzzle. I just go Deja-Vu writing this.
>but most normal people
Most normal people wouldn't stop to smell a new kind of flower they saw growing. Most normal people think having children then leaving them with $500,000 of debt upon dying is sane. Most normal people think virgin men should be beaten and arrested for abstaining from the touch of succubi. Most people were educated by the same institutions that are now teaching kids that they're probably going to be happier if they cut off their genitals.
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>>257858
Hello friend.
There are many factors at play here, as we all value different things and see this life through different eyes. Who can even be certain of the frustrations and desires of others, if we struggle to be certain of our own? At the same time, paradoxically, it seems our minds aren't that variable.
>Everyone I think has it harder than me doesn't seem to be suicidal somehow
It may be something simple like a religious belief that makes them fear such thoughts in the first place, so they suppress them. Then again, some feel the pain but choose to fight on for the sake of it. "If we're in a hell, why not make ourselves at home?" Absurdism comes to mind.
My experience: came very close to death by intent or accident several times, realized I enjoy going against all odds in some (also inexplicable) way.
Ride The Train
Hello friend.
There are many factors at play here, as we all value different things and see this life through different eyes. Who can even be certain of the frustrations and desires of others, if we struggle to be certain of our own? At the same time, paradoxically, it seems our minds aren't that variable.
>Everyone I think has it harder than me doesn't seem to be suicidal somehow
It may be something simple like a religious belief that makes them fear such thoughts in the first place, so they suppress them. Then again, some feel the pain but choose to fight on for the sake of it. "If we're in a hell, why not make ourselves at home?" Absurdism comes to mind.
My experience: came very close to death by intent or accident several times, realized I enjoy going against all odds in some (also inexplicable) way.
Ride The Train
>>257866
I've come to accept this too. It's for the best. Other people are unreliable but I'm not and I know myself better than anybody.
I've come to accept this too. It's for the best. Other people are unreliable but I'm not and I know myself better than anybody.
>>257864
You do understand the meaning of the word prejudice? Just because someone happens to be black, doesn't mean they're a criminal or looking to hurt people or destroy your white ass culture. The guy wasn't brandishing a Tec-9 or drug dealing or beating on Asian old ladies, he was just taking pictures and walking around. No matter the statistics, prejudice is still prejudice, and what the Asian dude did was disgusting and immoral.
Consider telling someone you're a virgin and them being prejudiced against you and immediately start thinking you're going to shot up the place because they heard some shit on the news where in-cels are the new boogeyman. Wouldn't you feel some kind of injustice was perpetrated against you in that moment? Or would you shrug your shoulders and be like, "oh well, those virgins really do represent a lot of mass shooters, can't blame them for labeling me like that, it's only natural for them to fear my kind". No, of course not, you'd be crying here with all your virgin bros about how normies called you a school shooter and people would understand how that's wrong and you shouldn't be treated that way.
I feel like I'm talking to a child explaining such basic concepts. Maybe where you grew in bumfuck Nebraska or whatever, they didn't teach you about the concept or you heard your daddy yelling at all the n-words and thought you should too. Or maybe, you grew up with a single mother on the Internet and never felt the consequences of your words, yelling despicable shit in gaymer chatrooms with the rest of the 10-year-olds without supervision.
You do understand the meaning of the word prejudice? Just because someone happens to be black, doesn't mean they're a criminal or looking to hurt people or destroy your white ass culture. The guy wasn't brandishing a Tec-9 or drug dealing or beating on Asian old ladies, he was just taking pictures and walking around. No matter the statistics, prejudice is still prejudice, and what the Asian dude did was disgusting and immoral.
Consider telling someone you're a virgin and them being prejudiced against you and immediately start thinking you're going to shot up the place because they heard some shit on the news where in-cels are the new boogeyman. Wouldn't you feel some kind of injustice was perpetrated against you in that moment? Or would you shrug your shoulders and be like, "oh well, those virgins really do represent a lot of mass shooters, can't blame them for labeling me like that, it's only natural for them to fear my kind". No, of course not, you'd be crying here with all your virgin bros about how normies called you a school shooter and people would understand how that's wrong and you shouldn't be treated that way.
I feel like I'm talking to a child explaining such basic concepts. Maybe where you grew in bumfuck Nebraska or whatever, they didn't teach you about the concept or you heard your daddy yelling at all the n-words and thought you should too. Or maybe, you grew up with a single mother on the Internet and never felt the consequences of your words, yelling despicable shit in gaymer chatrooms with the rest of the 10-year-olds without supervision.
>>257873
Yeah I’ve heard it, from groids. I didn’t say I’ve never heard it, I expressed disbelief at hearing such normgroid lingo on wizchan.
>touch grass
Go back. I don’t even disagree with what you’re saying, but you’re clearly lost.
Yeah I’ve heard it, from groids. I didn’t say I’ve never heard it, I expressed disbelief at hearing such normgroid lingo on wizchan.
>touch grass
Go back. I don’t even disagree with what you’re saying, but you’re clearly lost.
I hate /pol/ posters more than normals. That's assuming /pol/ posters aren't normal, which they most assuredly are.
I cannot fathom caring about any of this shit, I don't know if I've even seen a black person this year. Nor can I fathom wanting wanting to shoehorn this boring garbage into literally every single discussion on every single website for almost a decade now when there are already limitless places to discuss these things.
Genuinely, why? So you can regurgitate the same stats and talking points to some other retard who doesn't even finish reading your post before he responds with his own. Your ability to influence these things are as nonexistent as the impact most of them have on your lives.
I cannot fathom caring about any of this shit, I don't know if I've even seen a black person this year. Nor can I fathom wanting wanting to shoehorn this boring garbage into literally every single discussion on every single website for almost a decade now when there are already limitless places to discuss these things.
Genuinely, why? So you can regurgitate the same stats and talking points to some other retard who doesn't even finish reading your post before he responds with his own. Your ability to influence these things are as nonexistent as the impact most of them have on your lives.
>>257874
>>257877
Y'all morons are too sensitive. Lingo is not indicative of normalhood, even if it's half-ironic twitter shit. There's people here that drive Teslas, work as CEOs and do weed and MDMA all day and I'm the fucking normalfag? For real, y'all need to check yourself, no cap.
>>257876
Oh fuck off you fence sitting retard. Have some balls and tell us your beliefs. Don't do this "uhhh both sides are actually bad hurdur" like some impotent cuck. Sounds like you actually agree with all the /pol/ shit but you're pessimistic about it, like maybe you ain't gonna save the white race this year or something LOL
>>257877
Y'all morons are too sensitive. Lingo is not indicative of normalhood, even if it's half-ironic twitter shit. There's people here that drive Teslas, work as CEOs and do weed and MDMA all day and I'm the fucking normalfag? For real, y'all need to check yourself, no cap.
>>257876
Oh fuck off you fence sitting retard. Have some balls and tell us your beliefs. Don't do this "uhhh both sides are actually bad hurdur" like some impotent cuck. Sounds like you actually agree with all the /pol/ shit but you're pessimistic about it, like maybe you ain't gonna save the white race this year or something LOL
I hate /pol/tards. They shit up every corner of the internet they can find.
Reminds me of 4ch which was fine, until the /pol/ shitted on all the boards with their MAGA posting.
Reminds me of 4ch which was fine, until the /pol/ shitted on all the boards with their MAGA posting.
>>257879
Bro, but some racist got fired from his job! That could be you? Imagine not being able to say the N-word all day, that's fucking torture. Leftists have gone to far!
Bro, but some racist got fired from his job! That could be you? Imagine not being able to say the N-word all day, that's fucking torture. Leftists have gone to far!
>>257508
Suicide has been considered the only redeeming option in certain civilizations after having been dishonored or lost in battle (ancient Greece, Japan etc.). In the modern context suicide is mostly associated with despair in the face of overwhelming meaninglessness and mediocrity of existence.
Suicide has been considered the only redeeming option in certain civilizations after having been dishonored or lost in battle (ancient Greece, Japan etc.). In the modern context suicide is mostly associated with despair in the face of overwhelming meaninglessness and mediocrity of existence.
>>257861
In a decade or less society will agree that not castrating your 9 year old son is disgusting, popular opinion doesn't determine morality. Destroying someone's livelihood because he insulted someone is the moral equivalent of murdering them. They're murderers and if you find nothing wrong with this you are an accomplice.
In a decade or less society will agree that not castrating your 9 year old son is disgusting, popular opinion doesn't determine morality. Destroying someone's livelihood because he insulted someone is the moral equivalent of murdering them. They're murderers and if you find nothing wrong with this you are an accomplice.
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>>257886
That Asian guy has to live like an animal for the rest of his life because of a 1 minute non-criminal altercation he had with a dude that just so happens to be recording.
This country and society is a joke. They metaphorically publicly lynched him because of mean words. What a sad joke.
That Asian guy has to live like an animal for the rest of his life because of a 1 minute non-criminal altercation he had with a dude that just so happens to be recording.
This country and society is a joke. They metaphorically publicly lynched him because of mean words. What a sad joke.
>>257886
Oh please, the guy owns a big ass house (as seen on the video). I doubt his livelihood was threatened that much, he probably retired early and now plays Mahjong with his racist Chinese buddies, discussing how much they hate minorities, especially the dark ones.
Ever wonder how many black families got screwed out of a home just because this piece of shit decided they weren't good enough for it? Since he came up to a man on the street and casually threw a racial slur at him, do you really think he's above the usual polite racism? I'm glad he lost his job. It's not just an "insult", it's dehumanizing an entire race because of preconceived notions. He shouldn't be selling burgers, let alone houses in my opinion.
>>257888
Damn, poor old guy. Be careful out there racist bros, you never know when the darkie is recording. Pretend you're just suspicious because of their plates. Maybe wear one of them white masks so they can't identify you and just let the N-words rip!
Oh please, the guy owns a big ass house (as seen on the video). I doubt his livelihood was threatened that much, he probably retired early and now plays Mahjong with his racist Chinese buddies, discussing how much they hate minorities, especially the dark ones.
Ever wonder how many black families got screwed out of a home just because this piece of shit decided they weren't good enough for it? Since he came up to a man on the street and casually threw a racial slur at him, do you really think he's above the usual polite racism? I'm glad he lost his job. It's not just an "insult", it's dehumanizing an entire race because of preconceived notions. He shouldn't be selling burgers, let alone houses in my opinion.
>>257888
Damn, poor old guy. Be careful out there racist bros, you never know when the darkie is recording. Pretend you're just suspicious because of their plates. Maybe wear one of them white masks so they can't identify you and just let the N-words rip!
>>257886
castration should be mandatory for most families, the world is overpopulated and crappy
castration should be mandatory for most families, the world is overpopulated and crappy
>>257891
How?
He got fired from his job and now he has a criminal record. His face and name is plastered all over the internet.
You can't get hired anywhere with a criminal record. Nobody would even think of hiring this guy.
What is he supposed to do? Live under an overpass like a rat?
How?
He got fired from his job and now he has a criminal record. His face and name is plastered all over the internet.
You can't get hired anywhere with a criminal record. Nobody would even think of hiring this guy.
What is he supposed to do? Live under an overpass like a rat?
>>257876
These kids have been obsessed with niggers and trannies since they were 8 years old. They never get bored of it.
These kids have been obsessed with niggers and trannies since they were 8 years old. They never get bored of it.
>Lingo is not indicative of normalhood
groups of people using words that associate themselves with some kind of ingroup?….. no can't be
groups of people using words that associate themselves with some kind of ingroup?….. no can't be
>>257878
You want to know my political positions? Sure let me list them out for you:
>It’d be pretty cool if I got UBI
>I literally cannot think of anything else
I’ve never voted, I don’t read the news, and I don’t participate in political discussions. I’m not a fence sitter, I just don’t care. I want to talk about things that are actually interesting without it constantly being derailed by some retard because “this video game has a succubus in it”, or “someone said something dumb on twitter”, or “trannies still exist.” I love how this is so incomprehensible to people like you that you assume I must actually be some some sort of /pol/ poster who’s sad they can’t save the white race despite them being the main target of my ire.
You want to know my political positions? Sure let me list them out for you:
>It’d be pretty cool if I got UBI
>I literally cannot think of anything else
I’ve never voted, I don’t read the news, and I don’t participate in political discussions. I’m not a fence sitter, I just don’t care. I want to talk about things that are actually interesting without it constantly being derailed by some retard because “this video game has a succubus in it”, or “someone said something dumb on twitter”, or “trannies still exist.” I love how this is so incomprehensible to people like you that you assume I must actually be some some sort of /pol/ poster who’s sad they can’t save the white race despite them being the main target of my ire.
>>257897
first they tore down anime culture, now theyre trying to gaslight us into thinking that having a sophisticated whiteness to your posting isnt a prerequisite either. emojis are coming next, mark my words…
first they tore down anime culture, now theyre trying to gaslight us into thinking that having a sophisticated whiteness to your posting isnt a prerequisite either. emojis are coming next, mark my words…
>>257885
Killing yourself because of 'dishonor' or because you disappointed the community is herd mentality, in my opinion.
Nowadays people look down on people who killed themselves because they are reminded that existence isn't all sunshine and rainbows by these people.
>>257858
>Everyone I think has it harder than me doesn't seem to be suicidal somehow, and I don't understand how that's possible.
If you were born into Africa then it wouldn't be horrible to you because you would have grew up in that environment from the start. If you were born as mentally retarded or someone who can't walk then you wouldn't complain about that either, because those conditions would be the natural for you.
Aside from that, like this >>257865 guy said, people can take pleasure from fighting, striving, living under harsh conditions. People with truly shit lives either kill themselves quickly or get stronger and push on.
>>257842
Literally who cares? Asians are extremely racist people, they look down on whites too most of the time. Also, like the other guy said already, blacks don't equal criminals, sorry. Statistics don't matter when you encounter people who are exceptions.
How would you feel if someone treated you like shit because of your skin color? Like you were beaten up by blacks because Hitler was white too and so all white people must be evil? Everyone should be judged individually. There are plenty of white criminals out there too, skin colour doesn't tell shit about anyone, only their behavior.
Killing yourself because of 'dishonor' or because you disappointed the community is herd mentality, in my opinion.
Nowadays people look down on people who killed themselves because they are reminded that existence isn't all sunshine and rainbows by these people.
>>257858
>Everyone I think has it harder than me doesn't seem to be suicidal somehow, and I don't understand how that's possible.
If you were born into Africa then it wouldn't be horrible to you because you would have grew up in that environment from the start. If you were born as mentally retarded or someone who can't walk then you wouldn't complain about that either, because those conditions would be the natural for you.
Aside from that, like this >>257865 guy said, people can take pleasure from fighting, striving, living under harsh conditions. People with truly shit lives either kill themselves quickly or get stronger and push on.
>>257842
Literally who cares? Asians are extremely racist people, they look down on whites too most of the time. Also, like the other guy said already, blacks don't equal criminals, sorry. Statistics don't matter when you encounter people who are exceptions.
How would you feel if someone treated you like shit because of your skin color? Like you were beaten up by blacks because Hitler was white too and so all white people must be evil? Everyone should be judged individually. There are plenty of white criminals out there too, skin colour doesn't tell shit about anyone, only their behavior.
>>257897
It's just words, mate. Anyone can use it, especially if it's Internet lingo. Everybody knows about "no cap" and "deadass" and shit like that. Not like I hang around high schoolers all day LOL
>>257909
Oh no mommy, he used the words from the other culture. They're coming for my cartoons next!
>>257906
You're so cool, you don't care about anything, I get it. Until you're neck deep in shit, gasping for air, you won't say a word. Too busy watching animays or whatever thing gives your empty life meaning.
It's just words, mate. Anyone can use it, especially if it's Internet lingo. Everybody knows about "no cap" and "deadass" and shit like that. Not like I hang around high schoolers all day LOL
>>257909
Oh no mommy, he used the words from the other culture. They're coming for my cartoons next!
>>257906
You're so cool, you don't care about anything, I get it. Until you're neck deep in shit, gasping for air, you won't say a word. Too busy watching animays or whatever thing gives your empty life meaning.
>>257647
Yep, consuming media isn't much fun any more. When you do it for long enough you start to predict how the show/game/anime you're playing/watching will end. Throw in infurating political agendas to modern media and now nothing feels like much fun anymore. I try to read every now and then as well as play and compose stuff for the piano. However I feel mentally drained after a long day of wageslaving so I end up just mindlessly browsing the internet, which I promised myself I would stop doing.
Yep, consuming media isn't much fun any more. When you do it for long enough you start to predict how the show/game/anime you're playing/watching will end. Throw in infurating political agendas to modern media and now nothing feels like much fun anymore. I try to read every now and then as well as play and compose stuff for the piano. However I feel mentally drained after a long day of wageslaving so I end up just mindlessly browsing the internet, which I promised myself I would stop doing.
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This thread is filled with warlocks
I apologize for being so bitter, but I'm fucking sick of seeing people here or anywhere whose problems are only psychological or about loneliness. I've had depressive and obsessiev shit since I can remember, but I'd take that anytime over the shit my body does with chronic illness. I can habituate to loneliness and to depression and even obsession. I don't mind washing my hands till they bleed. But FUCK this chronic pain. FUCK these ear issues. FUCK digestive issues. FUCK this biological vessel, this piece of shit that keeps surviving at all costs and makes me feel guilty for not wanting to be here anymore.
I would give literally any fucking thing I have to go back to just having depression. If your body fucking works cherish it. The worst thing is having a mind that can do things but being trapped in this fucking piece of shit meat vessel. I fucking hate this universe and this body, even though I don't hate myself. I feel like a fucking hero for making it this far, but I deserve fucking rest.
Sorry for the bitterness, I know everyone here is truly suffering, and I know I'm being insensitive. I'm just extremely overwhelmed.
I would give literally any fucking thing I have to go back to just having depression. If your body fucking works cherish it. The worst thing is having a mind that can do things but being trapped in this fucking piece of shit meat vessel. I fucking hate this universe and this body, even though I don't hate myself. I feel like a fucking hero for making it this far, but I deserve fucking rest.
Sorry for the bitterness, I know everyone here is truly suffering, and I know I'm being insensitive. I'm just extremely overwhelmed.
>>257984
I'm gonna give you the best advice I recently learned from suffering depression for 10 years. You gotta stop giving a complete fuck about life at this point, this world is fucking mad, you do everything right and shit still goes wrong, everything always feels so ass and people are complete assholes. I just learned to be in bliss of it all and hope the dumb fucking ride ends, it helped me try to slog through the days now.
I'm gonna give you the best advice I recently learned from suffering depression for 10 years. You gotta stop giving a complete fuck about life at this point, this world is fucking mad, you do everything right and shit still goes wrong, everything always feels so ass and people are complete assholes. I just learned to be in bliss of it all and hope the dumb fucking ride ends, it helped me try to slog through the days now.
>>257984
It's completely okay wiz, we understand your frustrations. If you don't mind me asking, what are your ear problems? Were you the wiz who started the thread about tinnitus?
It's completely okay wiz, we understand your frustrations. If you don't mind me asking, what are your ear problems? Were you the wiz who started the thread about tinnitus?
>>257985
This. I really don't care about anything anymore and quality of life has gone up considerably. I have zero stress now.
I also occassionally steal or do things that are against the law and feel zero guilt about it.
I've only been caught once and I didn't feel an ounce of remorse.
Hell, at this point I would be in total tranquility if I had to spend a few months in prison. I would not stress over it at all.
I've already been there for a short stint and it wasn't that bad.
Fuck this life and world. Just do whatever you want, we will be gone in a blink of an eye anyway.
This. I really don't care about anything anymore and quality of life has gone up considerably. I have zero stress now.
I also occassionally steal or do things that are against the law and feel zero guilt about it.
I've only been caught once and I didn't feel an ounce of remorse.
Hell, at this point I would be in total tranquility if I had to spend a few months in prison. I would not stress over it at all.
I've already been there for a short stint and it wasn't that bad.
Fuck this life and world. Just do whatever you want, we will be gone in a blink of an eye anyway.
I get money for life I can at least live on thanks to my "disability" (i'm mentally ill) and yet I dont see the value in continuing life.
I am not a social creature, and it is due to this that many avenues for joy are cut off. These men in white say I am schizoid.
I enjoy nothing.
I dont want friends I dont want more money at most more drugs but even drugs only alleviate a part of the pain of living.
I really just want to decide to actually kill myself
I am not a social creature, and it is due to this that many avenues for joy are cut off. These men in white say I am schizoid.
I enjoy nothing.
I dont want friends I dont want more money at most more drugs but even drugs only alleviate a part of the pain of living.
I really just want to decide to actually kill myself
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The hardest part of the day is waking up and having to endure another day.
My dreams are all nightmares, but so is my life. Almost everyday now I just break down and cry.
It never ends.
My dreams are all nightmares, but so is my life. Almost everyday now I just break down and cry.
It never ends.
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Anyone else abuse benadryl (sleeping pills) to get some relief?
>>258018
No, i use them for allergy relief. Your little kid mind is incapable of using drugs correctly, so I advise you stop giving wizards bad ideas.
No, i use them for allergy relief. Your little kid mind is incapable of using drugs correctly, so I advise you stop giving wizards bad ideas.
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My parents are having the discussion again where they argue over who feels more pain over the way I turned out. They are having their argument in full view of me. Not once did they directly acknowledge my existence. I'm just an obstruction basically. An annoyance. The way they're agonizing over it you'd think they were dealing with an unpaid debt, or a flat tire. I'm not even sure what a healthy relationship between two humans would look like anymore, anytime I'm exposed to the actions and conversations of regular people I sort of recoil because it's not what I'm used to.
While it is true that things could be worse, why must that negate the shittiness of the present situation? I would prefer to be afflicted with poverty–which there is at least a possibility of remedying–than I would bad memories, of which I carry a lifetime's worth; the burden does not lighten, nor is it content with sitting idle; it lodges in my chest and pricks and stings me at the worst moments, being an active source of pain.
I keep finding fewer and fewer reasons not to inflict violence and misery on the human beings around me just for the sake of it (intentionally, rather than unintentionally as per usual).
While it is true that things could be worse, why must that negate the shittiness of the present situation? I would prefer to be afflicted with poverty–which there is at least a possibility of remedying–than I would bad memories, of which I carry a lifetime's worth; the burden does not lighten, nor is it content with sitting idle; it lodges in my chest and pricks and stings me at the worst moments, being an active source of pain.
I keep finding fewer and fewer reasons not to inflict violence and misery on the human beings around me just for the sake of it (intentionally, rather than unintentionally as per usual).
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The crawl threads haven't been numbered properly. The current one is XXXII (32) and yet the thread we opened in February of last year is numbered XXXIII (33).
>>258071
Good catch wiz. It seems someone messed up thread 39 and made it 29.
>Depression Crawl Thread XXIX
https://web.archive.org/web/20220105141601/https://wizchan.org/dep/res/251737.html
So the next one should XXXXIII to restore the timeline.
Good catch wiz. It seems someone messed up thread 39 and made it 29.
>Depression Crawl Thread XXIX
https://web.archive.org/web/20220105141601/https://wizchan.org/dep/res/251737.html
So the next one should XXXXIII to restore the timeline.
>>258057
Fuck them dude, they sound like assholes. Don’t inflict pain on others around you, it’s unnecessary and will probably make you feel worse. Is there any way you can get the fuck away from your breeders? Maybe even find some form of benevolent social structure? Community college or something?
Fuck them dude, they sound like assholes. Don’t inflict pain on others around you, it’s unnecessary and will probably make you feel worse. Is there any way you can get the fuck away from your breeders? Maybe even find some form of benevolent social structure? Community college or something?
>>258085
we shouldn't use roman numerals imo, kinda just makes it more confusing for nothing
we shouldn't use roman numerals imo, kinda just makes it more confusing for nothing
Still tired after sleeping 15 hours.
There must be something wrong with me, but I've already went to the doctors and there wasn't anything out of the ordinary.
There must be something wrong with me, but I've already went to the doctors and there wasn't anything out of the ordinary.
>thing slowly start getting better
>boom some absolute shit out of nowhere
For past few months every day for me is like that and I am really out will to live.
>boom some absolute shit out of nowhere
For past few months every day for me is like that and I am really out will to live.
Y'know, I followed that archive link above to look at the catalog from a few years ago. Reading some wizard's posts I was taken aback by how eloquently some of them articulated the pitfalls of depression. The way they captured its essence in writing, it was powerful. This was the quality of threads a mere three years ago, and a nontrivial number of these posters have either said their piece and left or killed themselves; I feel great shame in knowing that I can't contribute an iota to the website in comparison to what they were able to offer.
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>come to /dep/ to have some kind of sympathetic hospitality
>it's just trolls rubbing salt in your wounds
Wizchan 2022. Real nice place you have here.
>it's just trolls rubbing salt in your wounds
Wizchan 2022. Real nice place you have here.
>>258099
It's OK wizzie, roman numerals can be confusing, it could have happened to anyone.
It's OK wizzie, roman numerals can be confusing, it could have happened to anyone.
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ive changed my mind from applied math, im going to study pure math. i think its better in many ways, most of all it doesnt make a difference because i can study both pure and applied on my own, its more about how the world sees me, and id rather be seen as a pure mathematician than an applied one, it means different things, and i think i can make a bigger contribution to pure than applied math. also ive deciced on a subfield, i think its number theory. i think number theory is the mathematics of mathematics. also i like algebra, algebraic topology, category theory, logic, foundations and computation a lot.
i want to prove important conjectures. there are many things i wish other people wouldnt prove because i want to prove them first. and i have a lot of insights but i cant talk about them because other people might realize what im getting at and write a paper before me. it makes me itch, i really want to talk about what i can see, i want to give you a hint but then what if im right?? after getting a phd or a postdoc i will keep writing proofs in papers but ill start making money and work on personal projects. i wonder if visual arts and music will still be relevant 10 years from now, i hope so. i want to draw, i want to make my own ultimate drawing software. if drawing is outdated ill draw with programs, ill make cool things with vr. i want to study music in depth. i want to program a helper robot like a maid that can do house chores, and maybe give her a soul, i want to try algorithmic trading, i want to write ten thousand papers, i have endless ideas and insight, i can push you forwards, i want to live.
so i have a good idea of how i want to live the rest of my life but i think i will be filtered. im afraid of two filters the most. the university entrance exam and finances. there are tens of people competing for a single spot in the university and theyre all math olympiad medalist types. there are people who study for several years and still dont pass this entrance exam. there are people who pay for expensive cram schools and still dont make it. even if i make it, theres still a high chance my parents might go broke and in that case i would have to give up on my studies and go to work. there are a lot of filters and i think i wont make it.
im very afraid, but ill try. theres nothing else to do with my life. i like to think one day ill be able to make something big and nice and people wont look at me like im a cancer cell. i like to think one day ill be able to communicate and realize my purpose. i dont know i feel like im in a great place where i can be alone and together with others at the same time. i think maybe this place is a lie because ill just fail at everything but at the very least its the most beautiful illusion. maybe i have to believe to make things work but its hard to believe it will work when everyone tells me it wont work and i believe other people more than myself.
i want all persons to be happy, i want everyone to be happy and together forever, i wish the power to protect and provide for others for eternity, and to be together with others, i wish freedom.
i dont know i know im a retard but i like to think someone will read this and feel something. i like to think its like a message in a bottle. i dont know sorry.
i want to prove important conjectures. there are many things i wish other people wouldnt prove because i want to prove them first. and i have a lot of insights but i cant talk about them because other people might realize what im getting at and write a paper before me. it makes me itch, i really want to talk about what i can see, i want to give you a hint but then what if im right?? after getting a phd or a postdoc i will keep writing proofs in papers but ill start making money and work on personal projects. i wonder if visual arts and music will still be relevant 10 years from now, i hope so. i want to draw, i want to make my own ultimate drawing software. if drawing is outdated ill draw with programs, ill make cool things with vr. i want to study music in depth. i want to program a helper robot like a maid that can do house chores, and maybe give her a soul, i want to try algorithmic trading, i want to write ten thousand papers, i have endless ideas and insight, i can push you forwards, i want to live.
so i have a good idea of how i want to live the rest of my life but i think i will be filtered. im afraid of two filters the most. the university entrance exam and finances. there are tens of people competing for a single spot in the university and theyre all math olympiad medalist types. there are people who study for several years and still dont pass this entrance exam. there are people who pay for expensive cram schools and still dont make it. even if i make it, theres still a high chance my parents might go broke and in that case i would have to give up on my studies and go to work. there are a lot of filters and i think i wont make it.
im very afraid, but ill try. theres nothing else to do with my life. i like to think one day ill be able to make something big and nice and people wont look at me like im a cancer cell. i like to think one day ill be able to communicate and realize my purpose. i dont know i feel like im in a great place where i can be alone and together with others at the same time. i think maybe this place is a lie because ill just fail at everything but at the very least its the most beautiful illusion. maybe i have to believe to make things work but its hard to believe it will work when everyone tells me it wont work and i believe other people more than myself.
i want all persons to be happy, i want everyone to be happy and together forever, i wish the power to protect and provide for others for eternity, and to be together with others, i wish freedom.
i dont know i know im a retard but i like to think someone will read this and feel something. i like to think its like a message in a bottle. i dont know sorry.
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>tried therapy
>tried meds
>tried exercising
>tried eating healthy
> try try trry
And at the end of the day i'm still so fucking horribly depressed for no absolute reason, I even talk to at least some people and still, fucking fuck this world, this fucking life, FUCK IT ALL!!!!!!!!!!!!!
>tried meds
>tried exercising
>tried eating healthy
> try try trry
And at the end of the day i'm still so fucking horribly depressed for no absolute reason, I even talk to at least some people and still, fucking fuck this world, this fucking life, FUCK IT ALL!!!!!!!!!!!!!
>>258162
pure math? more like, pure METH haha amirite?
seriously tho, have you made any progress in all these lofty goals. you keep writing giant manic walls of text about this or that but you got nothing to show for it. does it make you feel good to think you're some kind of misunderstood genius, waiting to realize his potential, prove everyone wrong? cuz you're right, all i got from this is that you're a retard of some kind.
>>258172
there is no TRY only DO. this you must learn, yung wizkid. the first lesson is DO (NOT) have sex and everything else will trickle down from the wisdom you gain from that.
pure math? more like, pure METH haha amirite?
seriously tho, have you made any progress in all these lofty goals. you keep writing giant manic walls of text about this or that but you got nothing to show for it. does it make you feel good to think you're some kind of misunderstood genius, waiting to realize his potential, prove everyone wrong? cuz you're right, all i got from this is that you're a retard of some kind.
>>258172
there is no TRY only DO. this you must learn, yung wizkid. the first lesson is DO (NOT) have sex and everything else will trickle down from the wisdom you gain from that.
I should have died when I was 23-24, while life wasn't perfect back then it's way better than now being 26.
Actually people like us should go through some kind of test at that age, if life peaks at that age and everything after that is pretty much guaranteed to be awful we should have the choice to kill ourselves then, there's no point in living after life gets this bad, honestly.
Actually people like us should go through some kind of test at that age, if life peaks at that age and everything after that is pretty much guaranteed to be awful we should have the choice to kill ourselves then, there's no point in living after life gets this bad, honestly.
i've come to that point where i'm starting to hate my family. they are obnoxious and stupid normalfags and it's painful to be around them. they're just fat, naive, and idiotic animals. thing about living with them is you have to pacify their own irrationality and selfishness. we live on a large plot of land in fly-over country and living with just 3 of them is torturous given how retarded and inconsiderate they are.
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>>258172
There are banners at the top of the page that you might want to read some time.
There are banners at the top of the page that you might want to read some time.
>>258172
Nobody is depressed for no reason. Look into yourself a little. Why is it that so many people don't even know what bothers them in the first place? I don't understand this.
>>258175
You always have the choice to kill yourself, what holds you back? Maybe you don't want to die? Nowadays people are so quick to jump to suicide.
>can't find a gf, well better hang myself
>can't get good grades on some exam, well better shoot myself in the head.
>can't be the god-king of the universe, well no point living then, better jump off that bridge
You will deal with it, trust me. Most people do, only overly emotional and sensitive people manage to kill themselves. If you aren't a passionate person then you most likely won't kill yourself.
Nobody is depressed for no reason. Look into yourself a little. Why is it that so many people don't even know what bothers them in the first place? I don't understand this.
>>258175
You always have the choice to kill yourself, what holds you back? Maybe you don't want to die? Nowadays people are so quick to jump to suicide.
>can't find a gf, well better hang myself
>can't get good grades on some exam, well better shoot myself in the head.
>can't be the god-king of the universe, well no point living then, better jump off that bridge
You will deal with it, trust me. Most people do, only overly emotional and sensitive people manage to kill themselves. If you aren't a passionate person then you most likely won't kill yourself.
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im sorry. im sorry. its not my fault things ended like this. i wish i could start over. i wish i had had a chance. i wish i could have been myself from the start. i wish i had always been myself.
i wish i could say what i feel. i feel theres a light, a fountain of energy, inside me but in these circumstances i think it will die. im so afraid it will die. i dont want it to have existed for nothing. it was there and could done made so much. i will do everything i can but i think its too late now. too late.
i will cut the thread tying me to the outer world and live entirely in my internal world. a lonely, ephemeral planetarium. i wish i had the words to describe it. its so happy and so sad at the same time.
i dont know i promise ill stop posting and playing stupid now. ill be myself, even if theres no point anymore. im very afraid, i feel a lot of fear.
i dont know i wanted to communicate something, but im done trying. ill be cool and quiet now. i dont know sorry. sorry a lot.
i wish i could say what i feel. i feel theres a light, a fountain of energy, inside me but in these circumstances i think it will die. im so afraid it will die. i dont want it to have existed for nothing. it was there and could done made so much. i will do everything i can but i think its too late now. too late.
i will cut the thread tying me to the outer world and live entirely in my internal world. a lonely, ephemeral planetarium. i wish i had the words to describe it. its so happy and so sad at the same time.
i dont know i promise ill stop posting and playing stupid now. ill be myself, even if theres no point anymore. im very afraid, i feel a lot of fear.
i dont know i wanted to communicate something, but im done trying. ill be cool and quiet now. i dont know sorry. sorry a lot.
>>258189
The benefits to live to should outweigh the benefits of dying. Look at this man and tell me what he lives for everyday. Tell me what he expects to gain from his life?
https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-8978251/Teen-entire-bottom-half-body-amputated-Montana.html
The benefits to live to should outweigh the benefits of dying. Look at this man and tell me what he lives for everyday. Tell me what he expects to gain from his life?
https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-8978251/Teen-entire-bottom-half-body-amputated-Montana.html
>>258189
>You always have the choice to kill yourself, what holds you back? Maybe you don't want to die? Nowadays people are so quick to jump to suicide.
People who say this are so stupid. I dont live near any forests so I cant do suspension hanging without being saved and getting brain-damage, partial doesnt work and I know that because I tried doing it for 2 months straight. Guns are illegal for most of the world. Nembutal is illegal and sodium nitrite's harder to get than fucking LSD. Benzos are hard to get without a prescription, etc etc. I wish it was as fucking easy as you people say it is.
>You will deal with it, trust me. Most people do, only overly emotional and sensitive people manage to kill themselves. If you aren't a passionate person then you most likely won't kill yourself.
If someone's emotional then they're better off dead, their brain is set like that and theres nothing else they can do.
>You always have the choice to kill yourself, what holds you back? Maybe you don't want to die? Nowadays people are so quick to jump to suicide.
People who say this are so stupid. I dont live near any forests so I cant do suspension hanging without being saved and getting brain-damage, partial doesnt work and I know that because I tried doing it for 2 months straight. Guns are illegal for most of the world. Nembutal is illegal and sodium nitrite's harder to get than fucking LSD. Benzos are hard to get without a prescription, etc etc. I wish it was as fucking easy as you people say it is.
>You will deal with it, trust me. Most people do, only overly emotional and sensitive people manage to kill themselves. If you aren't a passionate person then you most likely won't kill yourself.
If someone's emotional then they're better off dead, their brain is set like that and theres nothing else they can do.
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The only thing stopping me from writing a /dep/ thread outlining how much I hate people and why I hate them so much based on my personal experiences is the fact that every day another 6 paragraphs get added and I just can't find the time to quantanize everything in to a human-readable format. I'm no nihilist or misanthrope but the particular people who intersect through my would-be solitary path of life are some of the most backwards beings on this earth. Wizards who value solitude: Don't let anyone get close. Don't depend on them and don't let them depend on you. The kind of people who either can't read a man well enough to know that he doesn't enjoy company, or who can but pursue some sort of self-interest fulfilling relationship anyway. Reject them outright, even if it makes you look like an asshole.
Basically, I was supposed to help out at a job for a day and the owner is now insisting I work there 12+ hours per day, subminimum wage, doing all the work, while I also entertain him with company and agreement towards of his paranoid delusions and greed. The problem is that he's an extortionist and did the same to my extended family and nearly drove a relative to suicide. He literally called his "biker gang" buddies on another relative who dared question him. The old **** spent all winter figuring out how to rip kids off at the business. "Don't write the "service charge" we apply to all sales on the prices. If they pay with tap, charge them more and don't tell them. If they complain, get their plate number. If someone asks how much [included product] costs, tell them $3. We're giving less of the product per service this year too. Write fake reviews on our Facebook page. I want a camera pointed right at the till. We need to buy several thousands of dollars of equipment before we can pay you". The list goes on. It's a marina and his charges are totally nonsensical because he doesn't actually sell anything. The few drinks and necessities we do sell he has a a 400% markup on because "they'd have to drive all the way across the lake to get it so they have no choice". He got angry with me because I didn't want to eat the banana he pulled out of his car. I like banana, but not old gremlin fartcar banana.
It's a cushy job when he's not around and I did make thousands of untraceable funds from both the agreed pay + scooping 20s (hehehehe) but he sold his other business and is now here all the time. His other business got shut down because all his employees stole from him and he wasn't paying any legally required health insurances so the government poked their nose in and he had to pull the plug. It was a restaurant and this tinyhatter is all kinds of gross, leaky, hair-falloffy, diarrhea every hour and not wash hands, and spit in the food on purpose type piece of work. His kids hate him and because my aunt tried to exploit his loneliness for free shit, he now clings to my family for everything and is driving us all mad.
He's the new landlord of the house we live in, which is why I just can't tell him to jeff off. His extortion goes so far as to kick the family off the property they have been living at for 21 years, and he wormed his way out of renting it legally so there's no signed lease or receipts. I'm going to take research chemicals on a full moon and according to my studies that will give me enough courage to phone the feds on him. I'm not afraid of him or his biker gang but I am afraid of the government so I'll need to find out how to get him booked for running a business without mandatory employee insurances without drawing attention to my own tax evasion etc. I fear getting him V& would be like being in the passenger seat of a drunk driver. I'm "just as responsible" for not stopping it before it happened sort of thing.
I hate these people, this city, this state. They were good, the place was good, but everything changed and I saty the same and now I hate it all. I want to leave. I keep trying but failing. "Next year, after I save some bux" but then next year passes and I'm still a broke NEET with no car, occasionally breaking NEETdom with gig jobs that I end up quitting because the people I work with make me want to kill the people I work with. I've worked with good people before at jobs I've enjoyed, but leave it to the bluehaired daddy-hires to move me to a different position because of how good I became, only for the dice to be rolled again and I get paired with a harder task and even harder to like people. I want another COVID lockdown thing so bad.
Basically, I was supposed to help out at a job for a day and the owner is now insisting I work there 12+ hours per day, subminimum wage, doing all the work, while I also entertain him with company and agreement towards of his paranoid delusions and greed. The problem is that he's an extortionist and did the same to my extended family and nearly drove a relative to suicide. He literally called his "biker gang" buddies on another relative who dared question him. The old **** spent all winter figuring out how to rip kids off at the business. "Don't write the "service charge" we apply to all sales on the prices. If they pay with tap, charge them more and don't tell them. If they complain, get their plate number. If someone asks how much [included product] costs, tell them $3. We're giving less of the product per service this year too. Write fake reviews on our Facebook page. I want a camera pointed right at the till. We need to buy several thousands of dollars of equipment before we can pay you". The list goes on. It's a marina and his charges are totally nonsensical because he doesn't actually sell anything. The few drinks and necessities we do sell he has a a 400% markup on because "they'd have to drive all the way across the lake to get it so they have no choice". He got angry with me because I didn't want to eat the banana he pulled out of his car. I like banana, but not old gremlin fartcar banana.
It's a cushy job when he's not around and I did make thousands of untraceable funds from both the agreed pay + scooping 20s (hehehehe) but he sold his other business and is now here all the time. His other business got shut down because all his employees stole from him and he wasn't paying any legally required health insurances so the government poked their nose in and he had to pull the plug. It was a restaurant and this tinyhatter is all kinds of gross, leaky, hair-falloffy, diarrhea every hour and not wash hands, and spit in the food on purpose type piece of work. His kids hate him and because my aunt tried to exploit his loneliness for free shit, he now clings to my family for everything and is driving us all mad.
He's the new landlord of the house we live in, which is why I just can't tell him to jeff off. His extortion goes so far as to kick the family off the property they have been living at for 21 years, and he wormed his way out of renting it legally so there's no signed lease or receipts. I'm going to take research chemicals on a full moon and according to my studies that will give me enough courage to phone the feds on him. I'm not afraid of him or his biker gang but I am afraid of the government so I'll need to find out how to get him booked for running a business without mandatory employee insurances without drawing attention to my own tax evasion etc. I fear getting him V& would be like being in the passenger seat of a drunk driver. I'm "just as responsible" for not stopping it before it happened sort of thing.
I hate these people, this city, this state. They were good, the place was good, but everything changed and I saty the same and now I hate it all. I want to leave. I keep trying but failing. "Next year, after I save some bux" but then next year passes and I'm still a broke NEET with no car, occasionally breaking NEETdom with gig jobs that I end up quitting because the people I work with make me want to kill the people I work with. I've worked with good people before at jobs I've enjoyed, but leave it to the bluehaired daddy-hires to move me to a different position because of how good I became, only for the dice to be rolled again and I get paired with a harder task and even harder to like people. I want another COVID lockdown thing so bad.
>>258197
Wow, thats a lot of shit you're going through, i wonder how was that old fart childhood to be that fucked up.
Wow, thats a lot of shit you're going through, i wonder how was that old fart childhood to be that fucked up.
>>258189
Because I don't fucking know? It could be that I hate talking to others and I never really go out, but even so when I do hangout with people I randomly get a sense of depression for no reason. I'm taking meds and even took a DNA test to see what meds are best for me, they're all the fucking same. I'm taking the highest dose and still nothing, maybe the mental illness I have is choosing and purposefully being depressed? I don't fucking know anymore, all I know is I hate life and it feels exhausting, i'm sick of people and the only person I care about is my parents.
Because I don't fucking know? It could be that I hate talking to others and I never really go out, but even so when I do hangout with people I randomly get a sense of depression for no reason. I'm taking meds and even took a DNA test to see what meds are best for me, they're all the fucking same. I'm taking the highest dose and still nothing, maybe the mental illness I have is choosing and purposefully being depressed? I don't fucking know anymore, all I know is I hate life and it feels exhausting, i'm sick of people and the only person I care about is my parents.
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Any other wizards desperately wanting to move out but are incapable because you're basically a child in an adult body? Living with my mom at 30 is so disheartening it's paralyzing. I can't enjoy or do anything because I circle back mentally to how it won't help me leave and live on my own.
I hate living here. I hate it so much. I don't want to be on the streets but I have no choices.
I hate living here. I hate it so much. I don't want to be on the streets but I have no choices.
>>258205
Yes, I spent 25 years in the same four walls and I'm planning to move out within the next year. I don't have any savings or rich work experience. This is my last chance to grow up.
Yes, I spent 25 years in the same four walls and I'm planning to move out within the next year. I don't have any savings or rich work experience. This is my last chance to grow up.
>>258209
I don't have a car license either. There was a time when my parents were really pissed off with my neet life and they told me to find a job. I was applying to many places but I've never heard anything from them. My mom found me a job at a fast-food restaurant. It was pretty chill job because I didn't have to talk too much, I had no interactions with customers and when you learn everything it's easy to daydream while doing any tasks.
I don't have a car license either. There was a time when my parents were really pissed off with my neet life and they told me to find a job. I was applying to many places but I've never heard anything from them. My mom found me a job at a fast-food restaurant. It was pretty chill job because I didn't have to talk too much, I had no interactions with customers and when you learn everything it's easy to daydream while doing any tasks.
I’ll keep it to the point: my dad is having serious depression and taking it out on my mom and me, my mom is having all kinds of health problems, my own back pain has been swinging wildly up and down. It has not created a situation of mental stability or feeling good about anything.
Anyone who thinks they can boil my problems to ‘just move out and get laid bro’ is truly delusional. Despite all of that, I have done my best to continue my studies and no go back to drinking, but it does all feel hopeless sometimes. Right now, I really truly don’t want to be in the public eye or talk or be around anyone.
Anyone who thinks they can boil my problems to ‘just move out and get laid bro’ is truly delusional. Despite all of that, I have done my best to continue my studies and no go back to drinking, but it does all feel hopeless sometimes. Right now, I really truly don’t want to be in the public eye or talk or be around anyone.
>>258205
Same, I feel like killing myself all the time. I can't stand living in this place anymore.
Same, I feel like killing myself all the time. I can't stand living in this place anymore.
>>257878
>Lingo is not indicative of normalhood
It absolutely does say much about the influences one stays around and how they come to know and understand certain social cultures and how that slang evolves so they can apply the lingo in the proper context. Did you actually say "touch grass" on Wizardchan of all places?
>Lingo is not indicative of normalhood
It absolutely does say much about the influences one stays around and how they come to know and understand certain social cultures and how that slang evolves so they can apply the lingo in the proper context. Did you actually say "touch grass" on Wizardchan of all places?
>>257889
Look, if anybody wanted to hear normalfag anti-racism propaganda or whatever, we'd just go to Twitter. Stop posting.
Look, if anybody wanted to hear normalfag anti-racism propaganda or whatever, we'd just go to Twitter. Stop posting.
>>258212
It's difficult if you consider countries where you can literlly buy a car license. It costs a lot and you have a small margin of error to pass.
It's difficult if you consider countries where you can literlly buy a car license. It costs a lot and you have a small margin of error to pass.
>>258191
Damn that's interesting. I guess if he can keep going then I can too. I don't know what I'm doing with this life if I'm given but I suspect most people don't know either…
Damn that's interesting. I guess if he can keep going then I can too. I don't know what I'm doing with this life if I'm given but I suspect most people don't know either…
>>258232
>Why would "touch grass" be off limits?
It's an outsider normalfag meme. There's a reason why outsider memes are banned. They're a form of psychological warfare. It's another way that normalfaggotry and normalfag culture invades your brain. The words, terms, and concepts you use affect the way you feel, think, and see the world.
Imagine if you started using crab concepts and terms (you know the ones), you'd then start to see and interpret situations in terms of those concepts, and classify people around you in terms of them, and would soon find yourself thinking a lot about the blackpill worldview, finding it rather intuitive.
Redditors see and interpret the world in terms of wojak meme templates, etc., etc.
>Why would "touch grass" be off limits?
It's an outsider normalfag meme. There's a reason why outsider memes are banned. They're a form of psychological warfare. It's another way that normalfaggotry and normalfag culture invades your brain. The words, terms, and concepts you use affect the way you feel, think, and see the world.
Imagine if you started using crab concepts and terms (you know the ones), you'd then start to see and interpret situations in terms of those concepts, and classify people around you in terms of them, and would soon find yourself thinking a lot about the blackpill worldview, finding it rather intuitive.
Redditors see and interpret the world in terms of wojak meme templates, etc., etc.
>>258235
Classic case of terminally online. It's "us" vs "them". They're the reddit browsing tiktok making normalfags and we're turtle wow guild members! We don't use "touch grass" and other phrases, we say bussy and nigger here!
Classic case of terminally online. It's "us" vs "them". They're the reddit browsing tiktok making normalfags and we're turtle wow guild members! We don't use "touch grass" and other phrases, we say bussy and nigger here!
>>258242
Indeed. I mean, "-oomer" and an incorrect use of the word "cringe" get thrown around, as well as "based" and a host of other newspeak; those are not verbotten, but 4chan normalfags love them.
Indeed. I mean, "-oomer" and an incorrect use of the word "cringe" get thrown around, as well as "based" and a host of other newspeak; those are not verbotten, but 4chan normalfags love them.
I was reading the comments here. Sure I like Homer Simpson as a character in a cartoon. But the comments are applying it to IRL
And so many folks think Grimes is in the wrong, for being a hard working loser bitter and jealous of Homer having everything handed to him despite being lazy and incompetent. So many people defending Homer and his "positive attitude". Despite in universe he is grossly incompetent and lazy and never even does his job.
Its like envy and bitterness became the worst sin, even when its based on objective truth. You just have to be happy for the other guys' success earned or not.
And so many folks think Grimes is in the wrong, for being a hard working loser bitter and jealous of Homer having everything handed to him despite being lazy and incompetent. So many people defending Homer and his "positive attitude". Despite in universe he is grossly incompetent and lazy and never even does his job.
Its like envy and bitterness became the worst sin, even when its based on objective truth. You just have to be happy for the other guys' success earned or not.
>>258232
>Spouts normalfag memetic templates
>Spouts normalfag sociopolitical talking points
>Somehow isn't a normalfag
>>258242
>False dichotomy
That's pretty stupid of you. But unsurprising given who you are, or rather /what/ you are.
>Spouts normalfag memetic templates
>Spouts normalfag sociopolitical talking points
>Somehow isn't a normalfag
>>258242
>False dichotomy
That's pretty stupid of you. But unsurprising given who you are, or rather /what/ you are.
>>258268
Just label the opposing view as normalfag and you have an excuse to delete shit that you don't like, huh modfaggot? You're so pathetic, using "touch grass" as an excuse like it's a pepe meme or some shit. Go back to chopping trees in your MMO.
Just label the opposing view as normalfag and you have an excuse to delete shit that you don't like, huh modfaggot? You're so pathetic, using "touch grass" as an excuse like it's a pepe meme or some shit. Go back to chopping trees in your MMO.
>>258191
How should I know what he thinks? Do you have your bottom half amputated though? No? Then what is your excuse? It's not your problem, nor mine. You have to deal with your own life.
>>258192
It is easy if you want it. Oh please, jump in front of a train or jump off a building or bridge? Then there is hanging which can always be done, no matter where you are. If you really wanted to die you would have done it already. Stop using this escapism and get back to life and consider your options as a realist.
>If someone's emotional then they're better off dead, their brain is set like that and theres nothing else they can do.
Most people who start out as overly emotional are humbled by life and they will burn out sooner or later. Emotional people are the best material for self-control and asceticism. Like I said, I wouldn't plan my funeral already if I were you. You will have an eternity to be non-existent again, you are alive for a short period of time only.
>>258202
Meds and science doesn't solve this. It is something the individual himself has to settle. This is your rite of passage into manhood, think of it like that. You are depressed because obviously your life and your expectations are at conflict with each other. What do you want? Or it could be a 'simple' existential crisis, you don't know what you should live for, you don't know what you should value or posit as value.
How should I know what he thinks? Do you have your bottom half amputated though? No? Then what is your excuse? It's not your problem, nor mine. You have to deal with your own life.
>>258192
It is easy if you want it. Oh please, jump in front of a train or jump off a building or bridge? Then there is hanging which can always be done, no matter where you are. If you really wanted to die you would have done it already. Stop using this escapism and get back to life and consider your options as a realist.
>If someone's emotional then they're better off dead, their brain is set like that and theres nothing else they can do.
Most people who start out as overly emotional are humbled by life and they will burn out sooner or later. Emotional people are the best material for self-control and asceticism. Like I said, I wouldn't plan my funeral already if I were you. You will have an eternity to be non-existent again, you are alive for a short period of time only.
>>258202
Meds and science doesn't solve this. It is something the individual himself has to settle. This is your rite of passage into manhood, think of it like that. You are depressed because obviously your life and your expectations are at conflict with each other. What do you want? Or it could be a 'simple' existential crisis, you don't know what you should live for, you don't know what you should value or posit as value.
>>258269
>No I just talk like a normalfag, I'm not one I swear!
inb4 you do something stupid like compare the usage of English in general to this "b-because normal normalfags do that too."
>No I just talk like a normalfag, I'm not one I swear!
inb4 you do something stupid like compare the usage of English in general to this "b-because normal normalfags do that too."
>>258272
I don't know what I really want in life though, i'm 21 and i'm just lost. I don't wanna do anything but sit on my computer, that's the only thing I give a shit about and have been doing this since I was 12 years old.
I don't know what I really want in life though, i'm 21 and i'm just lost. I don't wanna do anything but sit on my computer, that's the only thing I give a shit about and have been doing this since I was 12 years old.
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>>258272
Most men do know what they want from life, but because there are too many people in existence, carving out a decent living for yourself with no inheritances and pure hard work has become close to impossible in many countries.
Most men do know what they want from life, but because there are too many people in existence, carving out a decent living for yourself with no inheritances and pure hard work has become close to impossible in many countries.
I think I'm going to stop trying to get hobbies. I don't find anything enjoyable and maybe I should just accept it
>>258286
I don't care anymore either. I'm pretty much done with everything and rather just rot and wait till I die. Fuck this world and all of it's noise, i'm taking a fucking break.
I don't care anymore either. I'm pretty much done with everything and rather just rot and wait till I die. Fuck this world and all of it's noise, i'm taking a fucking break.
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my motor functions are decaying. i am becoming retarded. i stood in line at the supermarket trying to pay for something and an attendant finally came over and helped me. the problem was very simple, just a few button presses were needed. yet it still stumped a troglodyte like me; troglodytes deserve to be disdained, and so they are. the look on people's faces when they see something like me isn't something i have a single word for. how would you feel if you knew inferior beings dwelled among you and had the same rights as you, probably pretty disgusted i think. that's a very common mindset, even here; it must be nice to know that your superiority to certain people is a foregone conclusion. i threw my keys out with the trash again. i left the fridge open while looking for some food and then forgot what i was looking for and paced in a circle for 10 minutes daydreaming before i realized what was up. i dropped another glass today. i trip over myself at least 5 times a day. very scary. i would die immediately without someone working to put a roof over my head and keep the lights on.
that's the disgusting thing about displays of self-pity, is that it forces one to either commiserate or to dissociate entirely from the affected person, to roll in the mud with unfortunates or raise oneself above them, deaf to their wailing. now i see that pity is a reflexive thing, done out of self-defense. humans are disgusting animals. i hate them all. revolting. but they have sense enough when it comes marking the weak and useless among them. a weak man is an affront to nature. i feel it in every gaze, that instinctual disgust. 'how dare this feckless moron, this unman, this thing exist near me?' im hardly the first person to put it this way, i think witchking said it best but i haven't seen him on any imageboard in a long while.
when everything you attempt fails spectacularly then this is all you end up thinking about. incredible. i could see something incredible tomorrow and all i'd have to say about it would be something utterly prosaic. once-in-a-lifetime event and all it gets from me is a blurb which wouldn't look out of place in a grade schooler's essay. that is all this phony reality deserves.
that's the disgusting thing about displays of self-pity, is that it forces one to either commiserate or to dissociate entirely from the affected person, to roll in the mud with unfortunates or raise oneself above them, deaf to their wailing. now i see that pity is a reflexive thing, done out of self-defense. humans are disgusting animals. i hate them all. revolting. but they have sense enough when it comes marking the weak and useless among them. a weak man is an affront to nature. i feel it in every gaze, that instinctual disgust. 'how dare this feckless moron, this unman, this thing exist near me?' im hardly the first person to put it this way, i think witchking said it best but i haven't seen him on any imageboard in a long while.
when everything you attempt fails spectacularly then this is all you end up thinking about. incredible. i could see something incredible tomorrow and all i'd have to say about it would be something utterly prosaic. once-in-a-lifetime event and all it gets from me is a blurb which wouldn't look out of place in a grade schooler's essay. that is all this phony reality deserves.
>>258306
>how would you feel if you knew inferior beings dwelled among you and had the same rights as you
Inferior how? It all depends who makes the rules. People with IQs above 140 have massive problems fitting in regular society and half of them get bullied on school because they are surrounded by actual retards (people 30 points or more below them) and everything (school, work, day to day life) is arranged to their average level of only 100 IQ. Are they inferior beings as well?
One of the guys with the highest IQ ever was a bouncer at a club for over twenty years, is he inferior? https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Christopher_Langan
>how would you feel if you knew inferior beings dwelled among you and had the same rights as you
Inferior how? It all depends who makes the rules. People with IQs above 140 have massive problems fitting in regular society and half of them get bullied on school because they are surrounded by actual retards (people 30 points or more below them) and everything (school, work, day to day life) is arranged to their average level of only 100 IQ. Are they inferior beings as well?
One of the guys with the highest IQ ever was a bouncer at a club for over twenty years, is he inferior? https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Christopher_Langan
>>258308
>In comparing the lack of academic and life success of Langan to the successes of Robert Oppenheimer, journalist Malcolm Gladwell, in his 2008 book Outliers, points to the background and social skills of the two men. Oppenheimer was raised in a wealthy cosmopolitan neighborhood in Manhattan. His father was a successful businessman and his mother was an artist, he was educated at the Ethical Culture School and summered in Europe, and studied at Harvard University and subsequently started a PhD at Cambridge University. Gladwell points to an illustrating example: when Oppenheimer tried to poison his tutor at Cambridge, he used his social savvy and his parents used their influence to have Oppenheimer merely sent for psychiatric help without any criminal or academic consequences; in contrast, when Langan's mother missed a deadline for financial aid, Langan lost his scholarship and when Langan tried to convince college administration at Reed College to switch a class to a later time (owing to a broken down car) his request was denied. Langan grew up in poverty and had an unsettled early life filled with abuse, which created a resentment of authority which Gladwell reported Langan still carried during his interview decades after his academic hardships. He had had little or no guidance from his parents or his teachers, and never developed the social skills needed to cope with and overcome his challenges.
It's kinda hilarious from this example how important a solid foundation of wealth and a good social network really is.
>Just work hard bro!
>In comparing the lack of academic and life success of Langan to the successes of Robert Oppenheimer, journalist Malcolm Gladwell, in his 2008 book Outliers, points to the background and social skills of the two men. Oppenheimer was raised in a wealthy cosmopolitan neighborhood in Manhattan. His father was a successful businessman and his mother was an artist, he was educated at the Ethical Culture School and summered in Europe, and studied at Harvard University and subsequently started a PhD at Cambridge University. Gladwell points to an illustrating example: when Oppenheimer tried to poison his tutor at Cambridge, he used his social savvy and his parents used their influence to have Oppenheimer merely sent for psychiatric help without any criminal or academic consequences; in contrast, when Langan's mother missed a deadline for financial aid, Langan lost his scholarship and when Langan tried to convince college administration at Reed College to switch a class to a later time (owing to a broken down car) his request was denied. Langan grew up in poverty and had an unsettled early life filled with abuse, which created a resentment of authority which Gladwell reported Langan still carried during his interview decades after his academic hardships. He had had little or no guidance from his parents or his teachers, and never developed the social skills needed to cope with and overcome his challenges.
It's kinda hilarious from this example how important a solid foundation of wealth and a good social network really is.
>Just work hard bro!
>>258306
>i threw my keys out with the trash again. i left the fridge open while looking for some food and then forgot what i was looking for and paced in a circle for 10 minutes daydreaming before i realized what was up
Sounds like you have ADHD and not actual brain retardation.
>i threw my keys out with the trash again. i left the fridge open while looking for some food and then forgot what i was looking for and paced in a circle for 10 minutes daydreaming before i realized what was up
Sounds like you have ADHD and not actual brain retardation.
>>258281
That is a purpose in itself. So you have something you like and you want to do. This is a good start. Most people instantly think about something world saving or revolutionary but that is just romantic fantasy. It's better to have realistic goals like you have.
Being lost is natural at that age, you will come around. It's called "baby's first existential crisis", everyone who has 3 digit IQ has that sooner or later. Normals mostly develop existential crisis only when they are 40-50, figures we are just too mature for our age.
>>258283
I don't agree that "most men do know what they want", it seems to me like most people just drift along with events, go with the flow aimlessly. This is true for both normals and people here, lots of times their problem is exactly that they don't know what their problem is.
And yeah, I understand what you say about living, that is pure luck or lottery, depending on where you were born. I guess this too is one of the elements that make life as a wiz more interesting, the question of how you can evade wageslavery and how you can be a NEET, if you can be one at all.
>>258286
>>258291
You will get tired of being tired too. You will get tired of not caring anymore. You will get tired of wanting to die too.
That is a purpose in itself. So you have something you like and you want to do. This is a good start. Most people instantly think about something world saving or revolutionary but that is just romantic fantasy. It's better to have realistic goals like you have.
Being lost is natural at that age, you will come around. It's called "baby's first existential crisis", everyone who has 3 digit IQ has that sooner or later. Normals mostly develop existential crisis only when they are 40-50, figures we are just too mature for our age.
>>258283
I don't agree that "most men do know what they want", it seems to me like most people just drift along with events, go with the flow aimlessly. This is true for both normals and people here, lots of times their problem is exactly that they don't know what their problem is.
And yeah, I understand what you say about living, that is pure luck or lottery, depending on where you were born. I guess this too is one of the elements that make life as a wiz more interesting, the question of how you can evade wageslavery and how you can be a NEET, if you can be one at all.
>>258286
>>258291
You will get tired of being tired too. You will get tired of not caring anymore. You will get tired of wanting to die too.
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Bhadbhabie (cash me outside succubus) has made 42.3 million dollars since joining Onlyfans.
How does that make you feel as a wagecuck?
How does that make you feel as a wagecuck?
>>258337
The crab sees a succubus being given 43 million dollars.
The wizard laughs at the simps for throwing away 43 million dollars
Human men throughout history have always gravitated en masse towards a matriarch. An idol, a goddess, a princess, a queen, broodmother… Tribalists still practice it today. The sad fact is that most men are so undetatched from their most baseline instincts that they exist solely to serve a greater female. Modern times allow for these men to do so with a whole living wage of income, and for the idols themselves to do the same old nothing that idols of old would do but in front of a webcam. It's the sad reality of bugmen and bimbos.
Neither resent or respect the succubus, nor the simps. They are both following their antlike intuition. Pity though that these human insects are probably given the same rights and opportunities as healthy people. If all of the whoes and whoremongers were to die off, the world would be a much better place. For families, for workalone wizards, for neets, and for mother nature.
The crab sees a succubus being given 43 million dollars.
The wizard laughs at the simps for throwing away 43 million dollars
Human men throughout history have always gravitated en masse towards a matriarch. An idol, a goddess, a princess, a queen, broodmother… Tribalists still practice it today. The sad fact is that most men are so undetatched from their most baseline instincts that they exist solely to serve a greater female. Modern times allow for these men to do so with a whole living wage of income, and for the idols themselves to do the same old nothing that idols of old would do but in front of a webcam. It's the sad reality of bugmen and bimbos.
Neither resent or respect the succubus, nor the simps. They are both following their antlike intuition. Pity though that these human insects are probably given the same rights and opportunities as healthy people. If all of the whoes and whoremongers were to die off, the world would be a much better place. For families, for workalone wizards, for neets, and for mother nature.
>>258337
Sad, but I don't consider succubi to be conscious so no "person" is enjoying the money.
Sad, but I don't consider succubi to be conscious so no "person" is enjoying the money.
>>258337
>>258338
>>258340
Maybe you're all retarded zoomerfags and your generation thinks an onlyfans account is a normal thing to have these days but like, what the fuck?
Who? Who is subscribed to an onlyfans account for the "cash me outside" succubus? Like exactly changed that paying for some random whore's amateur porn and a parasocial relationship is "okay" for normalfags to do?
Like loser nerds/geeks back in the day would have been socially crucified if they were discovered that they were paying to get some cosplay succubus's vaguely risqué cosplay pictures.
>>258338
>>258340
Maybe you're all retarded zoomerfags and your generation thinks an onlyfans account is a normal thing to have these days but like, what the fuck?
Who? Who is subscribed to an onlyfans account for the "cash me outside" succubus? Like exactly changed that paying for some random whore's amateur porn and a parasocial relationship is "okay" for normalfags to do?
Like loser nerds/geeks back in the day would have been socially crucified if they were discovered that they were paying to get some cosplay succubus's vaguely risqué cosplay pictures.
Anyone else has brain fog and daydreams a lot? I spend a lot of time daydreaming and constantly forget what I was going to do.
>>258346
Yes, If I go out for a walk I'll start day dreaming instantly and even play acting out my fantasies if no one is around.
Yes, If I go out for a walk I'll start day dreaming instantly and even play acting out my fantasies if no one is around.
>>258337
I don't feel anything, I don't care anymore and they're ton of people living a better life than me without doing jack shit, just the way it is out here.
I don't feel anything, I don't care anymore and they're ton of people living a better life than me without doing jack shit, just the way it is out here.
>>257449
I tried a new drug based on someone here mentioning it (venlafaxine) helping with social phobia, but a single dose has me so sick that it’s not worth it even if it goes away in a few weeks. I’ve had SSRI nausea before, but anti-nausea stuff isn’t touching this. I feel like I poisoned myself.
I tried a new drug based on someone here mentioning it (venlafaxine) helping with social phobia, but a single dose has me so sick that it’s not worth it even if it goes away in a few weeks. I’ve had SSRI nausea before, but anti-nausea stuff isn’t touching this. I feel like I poisoned myself.
>>258379
All anti-depressants is a total scam, i'm taking a 100 mg Pristiq and yes my social phobia has quite dulled, I literally lose my humanity with these pills, I feel fucking nothing, no emotion or any soul, i'm just a husk wandering around this world at this point.
All anti-depressants is a total scam, i'm taking a 100 mg Pristiq and yes my social phobia has quite dulled, I literally lose my humanity with these pills, I feel fucking nothing, no emotion or any soul, i'm just a husk wandering around this world at this point.
>>258382
Yeah, I know it’s a scam. I’d just rather feel nothing than seethe and ruminate over things that happened well over a decade ago. I really just need a memory wipe, but there’s no drug for that.
Yeah, I know it’s a scam. I’d just rather feel nothing than seethe and ruminate over things that happened well over a decade ago. I really just need a memory wipe, but there’s no drug for that.
>>258384
Take a SNRI like mines, they're different, trust me. But also note that it's REALLY hard to get off if you're thinking of quitting someday.
Take a SNRI like mines, they're different, trust me. But also note that it's REALLY hard to get off if you're thinking of quitting someday.
>>258337
Capitalism is a rotten ideology, what's new? Yet morons still defend it as the greatest economic system of mankind ever…
Capitalism is a rotten ideology, what's new? Yet morons still defend it as the greatest economic system of mankind ever…
>>258416
I don't know why we're stuck in this economic system, the economy has changed over time, many protests and wanting things better for people. How come it won't fucking happen in this generation?
I don't know why we're stuck in this economic system, the economy has changed over time, many protests and wanting things better for people. How come it won't fucking happen in this generation?
My anhedonia is so bad that I have to lay in bed most of the day and do nothing. Not "nothing", but literally nothing. It's hard to explain, but I have this constant bad feeling that won't go away. Laying in bed gives me some sense of relief. I'm disabled because of this. I would rather have my legs cut off or something. I want to do things, but I just can't. I will perhaps give it a chance before I off myself. Maybe the feeling will disappear one day, just maybe. There's no action I can take to improve, I have a deterministic view about all of this. My brain just decides where it wants to go. There might be things that you can do if you're depressed, don't get me wrong. But my case is too severe. It's impossible for me to take action.
>>258465
Are you on paliperidone or anything? Because that shit makes you lazy. And schizophrenics are so engrossed by their voices that they don't need any stimulation, hardly, it might just be the way you are. Start the day off with a methylphenidate and maybe it'll get you moving a bit more, eh? You smoke loud to make you that lazy bro?
Are you on paliperidone or anything? Because that shit makes you lazy. And schizophrenics are so engrossed by their voices that they don't need any stimulation, hardly, it might just be the way you are. Start the day off with a methylphenidate and maybe it'll get you moving a bit more, eh? You smoke loud to make you that lazy bro?
Feeling so devoid of emotion with tragedy. I'm not able to play games or anything, that's too much like work. My mouth bounces from bitch to complaint and over to irate ranting, it's like I'm being wronged. I hate it when everything doesn't turn out perfect.
>>258469
>gaming is work
Sorry for paraphrasing, phoneposting presently. I tried playing the evil within 2 recently since I adored the first game so much and it sucked ass. Some acquaintances on steam keep trying to get me to play turtle wow and it feels like the most unrewarding busywork ever. Like how they can sit down and play their clay-graphics grindy game 8 hours a day is beyond my temperament. I'm either not autistic or drunk enough to do that shit.
>gaming is work
Sorry for paraphrasing, phoneposting presently. I tried playing the evil within 2 recently since I adored the first game so much and it sucked ass. Some acquaintances on steam keep trying to get me to play turtle wow and it feels like the most unrewarding busywork ever. Like how they can sit down and play their clay-graphics grindy game 8 hours a day is beyond my temperament. I'm either not autistic or drunk enough to do that shit.
>>258462
Because people were brainwashed to believe it is either this capitalist dystopia or the soviet union/fascist Italy. People are afraid of any change. They cling to capitalism because it 'works' (for who?) and uh, because of our precious freedumbs (read, the ability to spend money on retarded things or to scam others). It is enough to make you cry. People think anti-capitalism would necessarily result in gulags and concentration camps, never mind the masses who are destroyed daily thanks to capitalism. But that's not murder, it's your fault if you die because of poverty and hunger bro…
>>258469
>>258482
Why don't you just watch nocommentary longplays of games? I love doing that, it is a much better way of enjoying games than actually playing them yourself, imo. I can sit back and relax while watching longplays, it's become one of my favorite hobbies.
Because people were brainwashed to believe it is either this capitalist dystopia or the soviet union/fascist Italy. People are afraid of any change. They cling to capitalism because it 'works' (for who?) and uh, because of our precious freedumbs (read, the ability to spend money on retarded things or to scam others). It is enough to make you cry. People think anti-capitalism would necessarily result in gulags and concentration camps, never mind the masses who are destroyed daily thanks to capitalism. But that's not murder, it's your fault if you die because of poverty and hunger bro…
>>258469
>>258482
Why don't you just watch nocommentary longplays of games? I love doing that, it is a much better way of enjoying games than actually playing them yourself, imo. I can sit back and relax while watching longplays, it's become one of my favorite hobbies.
>>258530
I don't think Elon, richest man in the world who has tons of kids and had famous succubi dating him would give a shit about wizchan at all.
I don't think Elon, richest man in the world who has tons of kids and had famous succubi dating him would give a shit about wizchan at all.
>>258532
Thanks for replying to my comment brocel. It makes me feel like an actual human being rather than an disconnected and depersonalized member of our collective experience in the ether of the infinite.
Thanks for replying to my comment brocel. It makes me feel like an actual human being rather than an disconnected and depersonalized member of our collective experience in the ether of the infinite.
How am I supposed to cope with a family member changing for the worst and unable to do a fucking thing about it?
>>258537
I've noticed this with my family. Age has not been kind to them and they ended up more bitter and conceited. My dad for example is just permanently in a bad mood now.
I've noticed this with my family. Age has not been kind to them and they ended up more bitter and conceited. My dad for example is just permanently in a bad mood now.
>>258537
get them on one of those intervention reality tv shows. public shaming will get them in line, at least until the camera's rolling.
get them on one of those intervention reality tv shows. public shaming will get them in line, at least until the camera's rolling.
>>258537
If you’re close maybe try to have a serious talk about it, but most likely the endgame is just distancing yourself if they don’t get better, depending on what the problem is. I lost my only sibling to drugs and it would have been better if I’d cut him off sooner. I still hope he gets better, but you can’t change people.
If you’re close maybe try to have a serious talk about it, but most likely the endgame is just distancing yourself if they don’t get better, depending on what the problem is. I lost my only sibling to drugs and it would have been better if I’d cut him off sooner. I still hope he gets better, but you can’t change people.
Anger really is a terrible emotion. It's such an irrational sensation of impotence and an urge to kill someone, but you know that acting on that impulse would result in the opposite of what you imagine. There's nothing to really do with it besides suppress it and not let it take control of you. A fellow player in Left 4 Dead 2 gunned me down because I accidentally killed him with a Molotov when a tank was attacking us. I'm just really upset that I so rarely see any redeeming qualities in other human beings. Even here I feel like an outcast amongst outcasts since everyone seems to be pushing their narratives instead of trying to learn something or just talk.
>>258553
At least you can feel angry, I can't even make myself angry and just get sad or start crying.
At least you can feel angry, I can't even make myself angry and just get sad or start crying.
Look up depression on the internet and you find people who have good jobs, a wife and kids, a large house, and and overall good life. Yet they claim they are just you cause they feel sad, fuck off.
>>258570
Yeah, I have paralysis, but for me it's high functioning paralysis! So I can walk around and do everything a normal person can do but inside I'm still paralyzed.
Yeah, I have paralysis, but for me it's high functioning paralysis! So I can walk around and do everything a normal person can do but inside I'm still paralyzed.
The thing with self improvement and trying to be a better person is that the people with all these negative traits are still way happier and functional than you. I don’t mean online or theoretical people I mean actual people around me - obsessed with money and narcissistic are doing ok, vindictive and rude people are happier, road ragers are happy. Dude who get so drunk they drove their car in to 6 parked cars fucked his life up , that one they can have. But everyone that displays extreme character faults functions and is pretty content - yet after 10 years of trying to improve how I behave and think I’m still a depressed non functional mess.
Then they just give you another task, don’t compare yourself to others. Just do another 10 years - oh by the way the people who constantly compare themselves to others, bitch, gossip, and shit - they’re better off than you too.
Then they just give you another task, don’t compare yourself to others. Just do another 10 years - oh by the way the people who constantly compare themselves to others, bitch, gossip, and shit - they’re better off than you too.
Yeah so i get belligerently attacked by everyone on the entire website for using some big words in my personal wall text post, yet it's perfectly okay when all of the philosopher wizards use language that only has meaning in their personalized field and write even bigger walls of text than me. this is called hypocrisy and it creates victims. tumblr will be hearing about this.
>>258573
I don't know, the ones in my life basically seem to be okay on a day to day basis, but almost all have degenerated faster than I have. The drugs, the mood swings, the work gaps, the divorces all start to catch up with them over the years and they physically and mentally degenerate so hard. One killed himself after being fired a few years back.
There are some utterly insane cunts psychos out there, but because they're still functional they're just left wandering about with nobody calling them out on it. It's fucking bizarre coming across it.
I don't know, the ones in my life basically seem to be okay on a day to day basis, but almost all have degenerated faster than I have. The drugs, the mood swings, the work gaps, the divorces all start to catch up with them over the years and they physically and mentally degenerate so hard. One killed himself after being fired a few years back.
There are some utterly insane cunts psychos out there, but because they're still functional they're just left wandering about with nobody calling them out on it. It's fucking bizarre coming across it.
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>>258573
every millisecond of being mad is repaid with a full second of butthurt (cortisol karma), so when the wagie is being ragie rest assured they are recuperating from the buttblast later
every millisecond of being mad is repaid with a full second of butthurt (cortisol karma), so when the wagie is being ragie rest assured they are recuperating from the buttblast later
ive lost the ability to think and process basic concepts recently, i piss off everyone i talk to on the internet by being very confused. i cannot even do things that docile neets should be into like video games and media. most days i wake up and stare at the wall for an hour, get up and go on youtube and watch some documentry or listen to the same music i liked as a teenager to try retain some element of being able to feel stimuli. i accept the fact that even the most outcasted retard will be shocked by how primitive, uneducated and apelike i am. i cannot even do middle school tier problem solving and get violently angry at the slightest provacation. does anyone here have experience with brain rot/dementia like symptoms as a result of neet? i can only type my thoughts out if i try to talk in a voice chat or irl it will be similar to a crackhead on the street. grunting at you.
>>258578
I believe you. I actually noticed that you'd first posted this on the wrong anti-crawl thread.
I believe you. I actually noticed that you'd first posted this on the wrong anti-crawl thread.
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>>258574
>i get belligerently attacked by everyone on the entire website
You were attacked by all 6 wizchan users?
>i get belligerently attacked by everyone on the entire website
You were attacked by all 6 wizchan users?
>>258578
the education system is a one-size-fits-all industrial factory with the aim of producing workers, not refined intellects, so don't let "x tier of problem" weigh on you. those tiers are only relative to other industrialized workers and not actual aptness in the field. if your aim is to be a renaissance neet, then you'll likely arrive at that field from an unorthodox direction and solve it on your own terms. if the music you used to like doesn't appeal to you anymore then drop it, part of what leads to stagnation and the frustration you're experiencing is clinging to old ideas. to stop the feeling of brainrot means cultivating intellectual flexibility and passion
the education system is a one-size-fits-all industrial factory with the aim of producing workers, not refined intellects, so don't let "x tier of problem" weigh on you. those tiers are only relative to other industrialized workers and not actual aptness in the field. if your aim is to be a renaissance neet, then you'll likely arrive at that field from an unorthodox direction and solve it on your own terms. if the music you used to like doesn't appeal to you anymore then drop it, part of what leads to stagnation and the frustration you're experiencing is clinging to old ideas. to stop the feeling of brainrot means cultivating intellectual flexibility and passion
>>258093
Too much sleep can be just as bad as not sleeping enough. Cut down to 8 and see how you feel afterwards.
Too much sleep can be just as bad as not sleeping enough. Cut down to 8 and see how you feel afterwards.
>>258229
sooo you're a normalfag for not being a racist crab?
honestly if you had any balls you would respond to this with an answer, but we all know you won't. you know 4shit has a board called /pol/ that you'd really like, and theirs this guy named "Q" that's REALLY cool.
sooo you're a normalfag for not being a racist crab?
honestly if you had any balls you would respond to this with an answer, but we all know you won't. you know 4shit has a board called /pol/ that you'd really like, and theirs this guy named "Q" that's REALLY cool.
>>258590
the world is ending at we know it anyways, this place won't matter in a couple of years, its been fun though.
the world is ending at we know it anyways, this place won't matter in a couple of years, its been fun though.
I've been listening to some músic lately that seems to be written to me, dunno if im going through another psychotic breakout
>>258596
Im talking about things like isolation, nihilism and desolation.i thought I was feeling better but after all I'm still and emotional mess. "Insanity may be the only logic answer to a world that hás become insane" someone said
Im talking about things like isolation, nihilism and desolation.i thought I was feeling better but after all I'm still and emotional mess. "Insanity may be the only logic answer to a world that hás become insane" someone said
>>258601
makes me think of "It is no measure of health to be well adjusted to a profoundly sick society."
makes me think of "It is no measure of health to be well adjusted to a profoundly sick society."
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>>258594
humans have thought the world is ending for every generation since the dawn of man. desiring for the world to end is an ironic hope for someone that is extremely hopeless. this is more indicative of society's pathology than anything. everyone is bored, misanthropic, and crazy nowadays.
humans have thought the world is ending for every generation since the dawn of man. desiring for the world to end is an ironic hope for someone that is extremely hopeless. this is more indicative of society's pathology than anything. everyone is bored, misanthropic, and crazy nowadays.
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>>258089
>Is there any way you can get the fuck away
No and I was too stupid and short-sighted and unlucky to have played my cards right; they're kicking me out in a week unless I find some kind of full time minimum wage slavejob. No degree with which to secure a livelihood (which would have taken time away from the one or two activities I enjoyed), no friends to mooch or coast off of. In short there is probably no social structure willing to accept a stunted individual like myself. It's over, I'm licked. Preparing to exit.
>>258190
>i wish i could start over. i wish i had had a chance.
you and me both bro. i was objectively never cut out for anything artistic/drawing related even though i gravitated towards that. maybe heaven is a place where you get to draw and study to your heart's content forever and ever with no interruptions.
>Is there any way you can get the fuck away
No and I was too stupid and short-sighted and unlucky to have played my cards right; they're kicking me out in a week unless I find some kind of full time minimum wage slavejob. No degree with which to secure a livelihood (which would have taken time away from the one or two activities I enjoyed), no friends to mooch or coast off of. In short there is probably no social structure willing to accept a stunted individual like myself. It's over, I'm licked. Preparing to exit.
>>258190
>i wish i could start over. i wish i had had a chance.
you and me both bro. i was objectively never cut out for anything artistic/drawing related even though i gravitated towards that. maybe heaven is a place where you get to draw and study to your heart's content forever and ever with no interruptions.
>>258582
Good post.
>>258607
Yeah, and every religion has/had its own particular apocalypse predicted. It is every weak and sour-grapes type person't wet dream, the world ending just like that poff. What bullshit.
>>258601
>>258602
Every kind of society is sick and insane by default. Where people gather things are bound to end up as shit.
Good post.
>>258607
Yeah, and every religion has/had its own particular apocalypse predicted. It is every weak and sour-grapes type person't wet dream, the world ending just like that poff. What bullshit.
>>258601
>>258602
Every kind of society is sick and insane by default. Where people gather things are bound to end up as shit.
>>258616
Not that anon but I have ADHD and that description matches a lot of my behavior. For example emotional dis-regulation I get pissed off at random stuff and I can't stop thinking about it for hours.
adhd is totally misrepresented in the world it's a self-control disorder not an attention disorder.
Not that anon but I have ADHD and that description matches a lot of my behavior. For example emotional dis-regulation I get pissed off at random stuff and I can't stop thinking about it for hours.
adhd is totally misrepresented in the world it's a self-control disorder not an attention disorder.
>>258607
He specifically said "ending as we know it", which has to happen every once in a while. Our globalized, industrial civilization is simply unsustainable and can't go on for much longer. As for humanity and "the world", it'll probably keep existing for a very long time.
He specifically said "ending as we know it", which has to happen every once in a while. Our globalized, industrial civilization is simply unsustainable and can't go on for much longer. As for humanity and "the world", it'll probably keep existing for a very long time.
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in a constant mood of despair my every waking & sleeping moment. my mind is so infested with intrusive thoughts and the patterns are only becoming stronger. i understand from speaking to many people that i'm not unique in this regard. so this means that intrusive thought patterns are more common than i thought. i guess my main issue is that nobody has the bravery to really address alot of people's emotional problems with empathy.
I feel like a nightmare is constantly following me, and unless I drown it out, it just swallows me up. Every night I drive home, I'm apprehensive and scared about spending time alone. I know the nightmare and the memories are going to return and creep into my head as I lie in bed trying to sleep. The stimuli of the day kinda drowns them out, but honestly, even there I can kind of feel them, the barrier just raises in a sense and I can feel somewhat normal.
Every night I try to retard myself with drugs, work, study or anything that numbs my brain so these nightmares just don't come up. But it's late at night and here I am. I tipped out the remainder of the alcohol so I wouldn't get fucked up for tomorrow.
This terror that follows me is just constantly there. I'm young and healthy at the moment, and people care about me, and I just know that when my 40s or 50s hit, it's going to swallow me entirely.
Every night I try to retard myself with drugs, work, study or anything that numbs my brain so these nightmares just don't come up. But it's late at night and here I am. I tipped out the remainder of the alcohol so I wouldn't get fucked up for tomorrow.
This terror that follows me is just constantly there. I'm young and healthy at the moment, and people care about me, and I just know that when my 40s or 50s hit, it's going to swallow me entirely.
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>>258607
Yeah I should've been specific, even if we go into nuclear war, the world will move on. Hell if they're also human survivors then fallout will actually be real.
Yeah I should've been specific, even if we go into nuclear war, the world will move on. Hell if they're also human survivors then fallout will actually be real.
i dont really know what to do with myself. for the past 5-6 years in my free time I have just LDARmaxxed on online forums and imageboards. i tried to quit and instead i just laid down and stared at the ceiling or paced around the room literally all day. i have a tendancy to want to do nothing at all. i dont really know what to do instead. there is nothing i really enjoy. i need some way to decompress
The internet is a horrible place. It eats your hopes and dreams, it kills your innocence and curiosity, it's full of hate, lies, and horrible people, men and succubi that are not natural and only say the worst things because in real life they are too scared to say those things. They wouldn't say shit to their mother yet here they say all these retarded things and act like it matters what they think. The last time I was happy was when I left this place for a while. This place infects our minds and thoughts. It should be abandoned. But the damage is already done and the addictive form my makes it hard to leave.
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Do you guys know of any books about losers which are suitable for wizards, without some happy ending or relationship.
Just books about being a below average person who fucks stuff up and no matter the effort/time never really gets anywhere. Not necessarily depressed and suicidal.
Just books about being a below average person who fucks stuff up and no matter the effort/time never really gets anywhere. Not necessarily depressed and suicidal.
>>258695
Same anon… Especially the wanting to do nothing all the time. I really wonder why we're this way. I don't think it's because there's nothing I want to do, because there's too many things to list, but for some reason doing anything feels wrong.
>>258700
The internet is terrible. I genuinely think that social media was a mistake.
Same anon… Especially the wanting to do nothing all the time. I really wonder why we're this way. I don't think it's because there's nothing I want to do, because there's too many things to list, but for some reason doing anything feels wrong.
>>258700
The internet is terrible. I genuinely think that social media was a mistake.
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>>258701
A Confederacy of Dunces? I've heard It's a good book though I've never read it myself. It's basically about a fat loser in his 30s who's basically a proto-NEET and lives with his single mother in early-mid 1960s New Orleans I think.
A Confederacy of Dunces? I've heard It's a good book though I've never read it myself. It's basically about a fat loser in his 30s who's basically a proto-NEET and lives with his single mother in early-mid 1960s New Orleans I think.
>>258704
>I really wonder why we're this way. I don't think it's because there's nothing I want to do, because there's too many things to list, but for some reason doing anything feels wrong.
my theory is that everything is made meaningless because we know we are going to die. copes like shallow pleasures and time wasters, its easy to see how they are trivialities. but i think wizards are distinguished because they see how even the "productive" things are also meaningless. because the more time you spend on them, the closer you get to death. and then when you die, its fuckall. a lot of people dont see this though because they havent come to terms with the fact that they are going to die
>I really wonder why we're this way. I don't think it's because there's nothing I want to do, because there's too many things to list, but for some reason doing anything feels wrong.
my theory is that everything is made meaningless because we know we are going to die. copes like shallow pleasures and time wasters, its easy to see how they are trivialities. but i think wizards are distinguished because they see how even the "productive" things are also meaningless. because the more time you spend on them, the closer you get to death. and then when you die, its fuckall. a lot of people dont see this though because they havent come to terms with the fact that they are going to die
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>>258701
book is about two aristocratic friends Arkady and Barazov who view life in a Nietzschean-esque way. one of them experiments on insects and shit. cool characters and ideas and stuff.
book is about two aristocratic friends Arkady and Barazov who view life in a Nietzschean-esque way. one of them experiments on insects and shit. cool characters and ideas and stuff.
how do i get a hobby? i don't even really care about anything. i have tried to force myself to get into things but i cant and its just a waste of time and money
>>258716
troll videogames. you are basically given the opportunity to make normalfags get max butthurt for no visible consequences at all.
troll videogames. you are basically given the opportunity to make normalfags get max butthurt for no visible consequences at all.
>>258716
I'm going to echo the other poster who suggested you take up a creative and/or productive hobby. Why not try your hand at writing a few short stories?
I'm going to echo the other poster who suggested you take up a creative and/or productive hobby. Why not try your hand at writing a few short stories?
>>258720
you can troll thirdworlders in free source mods on steam. you can break their games really easy. next all you have to do is insult every single religion you can think of. e.g. "i skullfucked christ before he was crucified" or "i made love in muhammed's mouth"
you can troll thirdworlders in free source mods on steam. you can break their games really easy. next all you have to do is insult every single religion you can think of. e.g. "i skullfucked christ before he was crucified" or "i made love in muhammed's mouth"
I think my unrestrained masculine impulse lead me to radical ideologies like naziism, but it is my more restrained self that prefers communism. I think that I was so paralyzed by the consequences in my life that I tried to do everything that I could to not end up in those situations again. A preconception in my head lead to believe that unchecked white masculinity leads people to becoming skinhead freaks in prison trying to stab negroes with toothbrushes. I was basically forced to redirect all of my aggression into some strange convoluted area. I really think there is safety here though. Nobody can see who I am. I am far too vulnerable to let them see. They have entire armies of numbers and I am just me. I am alone in this world of face first falls and public breakdowns. I am a retarded disfigured clown. Dying to be heard for the sacred art of letting this heavy wall fall.
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I'm convinced that isn't life, this is hell, somehow I died some time ago and I ended up here, this is the christian hell everyone talks about in normal life there's no way things can be like this, there's no way life can be like this so of course this must be hell, it's not about flames and fire like everyone says, but complete mental torture 24/7, I wouldn't desire this kind of feeling to the worst scumbag on earth, so yeah this is hell, it has to be.
I saved this picture from a fellow soul doomed to be in this hell some time ago, I feel exactly like this, no human being should suffer like this…
I saved this picture from a fellow soul doomed to be in this hell some time ago, I feel exactly like this, no human being should suffer like this…
>>258695
Same, it's the depression. I force my self to learn something new every day, but even putting 40 minutes on it is incredibly hard.
Try to find something cool to learn. I was able to put almost 6 hours a day for a short period of time learning python and building some shitty app for myself. Then I fell down to the bottom of the depression pit again.
Try doing something like that or study depression to see what can be done to fight it and please share your findings if you do.
Same, it's the depression. I force my self to learn something new every day, but even putting 40 minutes on it is incredibly hard.
Try to find something cool to learn. I was able to put almost 6 hours a day for a short period of time learning python and building some shitty app for myself. Then I fell down to the bottom of the depression pit again.
Try doing something like that or study depression to see what can be done to fight it and please share your findings if you do.
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>>258726
Beyond 2
Beyond 2
the good memories eventually just come back to crush me flatter, because with them i also recall what they lead to. toys break, landscape changes, relations sour, hopes evaporate, people die. wondering if one would be better off not making any to begin with; be a person with pure contempt for 100% of everything instead of only 99%. i think just not existing would be better than both.
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>>258700
Seeing the burning corpse of internet utopianism is kind of funny. The idea that people had good intentions and they'd do something good if only they were free from the limited mainstream culture controlled by special interests. Nah niggah, people love lies, people love spreading lies, people love hate, people love pegging their identity against a strawman, people love building communities about abusing people in a righteous fashion. Everything is converted to entertainment, and it seems hatred and anger are available entertainment when the pictures of kittens and people doing good things don't hit.
Seeing the burning corpse of internet utopianism is kind of funny. The idea that people had good intentions and they'd do something good if only they were free from the limited mainstream culture controlled by special interests. Nah niggah, people love lies, people love spreading lies, people love hate, people love pegging their identity against a strawman, people love building communities about abusing people in a righteous fashion. Everything is converted to entertainment, and it seems hatred and anger are available entertainment when the pictures of kittens and people doing good things don't hit.
>>258735
We were making progress as a species until the internet came out and all the idiots of the world found their echo chambers to feed back and increase the bad shit from the past that we were killing off.
We were making progress as a species until the internet came out and all the idiots of the world found their echo chambers to feed back and increase the bad shit from the past that we were killing off.
Before thread 300s, I will just drop this here.
I love life. I am grateful to my parents that they gave me life. I love living. I had another wonderful day. I will do anything to share my power and light with others. I will change this world. I will ascend to the heavens and shine my light on you all. This is just the beginning.
Watch out for me.
I love life. I am grateful to my parents that they gave me life. I love living. I had another wonderful day. I will do anything to share my power and light with others. I will change this world. I will ascend to the heavens and shine my light on you all. This is just the beginning.
Watch out for me.
>>258743
your grandiosity is redundant and tiring. i venture to guess that you're one of the /b/ spammer trolls.
your grandiosity is redundant and tiring. i venture to guess that you're one of the /b/ spammer trolls.
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>>258735
>>258742
This.
Back in the 90's I used to think "Wow the internet is great, all the world's information is at your fingertips, and most people are actually nice, this netiquette thing is good, the internet will eliminate things like lies, stupid people and other things because everyone will have access to all information in the world".
Needless to say it went the opposite way, people now are way more fucking stupid than 30 years ago, the internet is mostly lies, shills and bots, twitch whores are rich scamming pathetic males, and the world is slowly descending into some kind of horrible dystopia that makes 1984 look sane in comparison.
The internet was a mistake.
>>258742
This.
Back in the 90's I used to think "Wow the internet is great, all the world's information is at your fingertips, and most people are actually nice, this netiquette thing is good, the internet will eliminate things like lies, stupid people and other things because everyone will have access to all information in the world".
Needless to say it went the opposite way, people now are way more fucking stupid than 30 years ago, the internet is mostly lies, shills and bots, twitch whores are rich scamming pathetic males, and the world is slowly descending into some kind of horrible dystopia that makes 1984 look sane in comparison.
The internet was a mistake.
>>258756
Why do you put words in his mouth that he never said or implied? He made a thoughtful and humble remark about his experience. You are exactly condensing everything that is wrong with the current internet into one post.
Why do you put words in his mouth that he never said or implied? He made a thoughtful and humble remark about his experience. You are exactly condensing everything that is wrong with the current internet into one post.
>>258754
I'm trying to read Baudrillard (and some Guy Debord) on this hyperreality shit but he is a hard read.
I'm trying to read Baudrillard (and some Guy Debord) on this hyperreality shit but he is a hard read.
>>258754
Don't shoot the messenger.
The internet just showed you how people really are. The internet didn't change them, it just made you notice how shitty and how many of them were.
If you don't agree just look at history, nothing but butchery and horrors.
Don't shoot the messenger.
The internet just showed you how people really are. The internet didn't change them, it just made you notice how shitty and how many of them were.
If you don't agree just look at history, nothing but butchery and horrors.
>>258740
I understand why he writes the way he does now
You spend all that time ruminating, pontificating on your condition, but no matter what you do things only get worse. Expressing yourself coherently is a spook when the problem itself is insoluble
I understand why he writes the way he does now
You spend all that time ruminating, pontificating on your condition, but no matter what you do things only get worse. Expressing yourself coherently is a spook when the problem itself is insoluble
>>258761
The internet did amplify the horrors.
Before the internet is a guy was good at playing at arcades and became a cunt he was a cunt only at the local arcade, now we have lots of these horrible people around shilling their shit on twitch.
Back then if a succubus was a whore she was a whore at the local high school,now these whores have global influence and way too many simps.
Before the internet all this shit was small and localized, now every little horror gets massively amplified.
The internet did amplify the horrors.
Before the internet is a guy was good at playing at arcades and became a cunt he was a cunt only at the local arcade, now we have lots of these horrible people around shilling their shit on twitch.
Back then if a succubus was a whore she was a whore at the local high school,now these whores have global influence and way too many simps.
Before the internet all this shit was small and localized, now every little horror gets massively amplified.
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i wish to reincarnate after i die.
>>258790
Is it you, Koishi anon? I always enjoy reading your posts. Try not to feel too disheartened by the exchange above, if it is possible. I would like it if you continued writing here.
Is it you, Koishi anon? I always enjoy reading your posts. Try not to feel too disheartened by the exchange above, if it is possible. I would like it if you continued writing here.
I always knew that Koishifags were the most mentally ill people. Every single Koishifag I've ever seen has fit the bill. What is it about her that attracts these people?
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I am not able to socialize which makes me even more depressed. I'm always silent especially when I'm in a group and can't figure out a reason/topic/story/reply to talk about or share, even if I had any, I ruin it with my lame narrative and stuttering.
You will love this collection of calming music to help you get your baby to sleep. https://youtu.be/ypfuDALM_1k
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