I'm too scared. Just the thought of it makes me feel fear. I'm scared of dying AND death. I'm afraid of dying painfully. And I'm also afraid of death itself. The thought of non-existence and not being able to think is incomprehensible and scary to me.
So that's what's stopping me. I don't want to feel pain, but even the rope can be extremely painful. The only quick and painless way are guns. A glock 20 to the head is quick and painless. But I can't get guns in my country. But they're only way I want to go. And even if I had the gun, my fear of death would probably stop me from pulling the trigger.
>>267806 Most users here will probably be hostile because I'm only 20, but here's a summary: >I'm from europe and still go to school because I repeated a year, I'm in grade 13 >I graduate next year and don't know what to do. I likely will go to university because what else should I do? >Nothing interests me, I want to study IT even though I know nothing about computers and I'm shit at math. I'm also a big procrastinator with no self-control. I just don't know what else to do, and I don't want to have a job where I have to socialize much >I'm not diagnosed with anything but I'm definitely mentally ill, probably autism. Everything feels like too much and I constantly need help from others. I'm like a child that's trapped in the body of an adult. I can't do anything and I will never be able to live independently. I don't know how I'm supposed to work >Outside of school I sometimes work part-time in a warehouse and that already feels like way too much. >My family is absolutely dysfunctional, and my father makes no secret on how he hates my mother and me. >I also have general hatred on the world and the system we live in
Read the Peaceful pill handbook, I think it was called. It's about a way out, if u are still interested and committed to this. Instead of asking how to end your life. But you make it sound like u need advice on life instead of death
>>267808 you should stick in there and move out, maybe see a therapist especially because IT is a great wizardly job, and you should just be hopeful to making enough to move out asap hating the world is normal but doesnt help and only gave me stomach pain. since you mention adult-child you can look into a few different types of self therapy involving that like child memory work. everyone is bad at math > Young man, in mathematics you don't ever understand, you just get more familiar with it Von Neumann also IT doesnt even necesarilly require much math, I just like doing math because its like fun little puzzles that are useful. Thats the spirit of some of my favorite computer scientists and mathematicians, Knuth, Conway (file related). Fun playful little puzzlers.
>>267805 This is very easy. You take a lot of xanax (overdose) and then go on top of 20th story building. Then you jump out head first. Good luck, this should work 100% of the time. If you are unable to do this, you are a coward loser. :)
You'll get over fear of death with time just relax and don't worry about it. The grim reaper comes for us all in due time. I used to be like you scared of death but now I welcome it honestly. There's so much pain in this world
Thinking of Kms with 12g of pure caffeine and some pills filled with drain cleaner (sodium hydroxide) as the latter is irreversible but don't wanna survive and fuck up my voice or something and I don't want to be awake for it but I'm looking for something else that I can get in Shetland that I could take in addition kill me
>>268383 Good call I thought to use an electric chainsaw on the cliffs edge to cut my stomach before falling into the sea/rocks so as not to float.
Don't have good info on how long it takes for the >10g of caffeine overdose to do it's thing but I filled my fluoxitine pill cases with caustic soda but worried I'd be suffering for hours or even months if I fuck it up.
Don't know where to score some roofies but wanna go to sleep while the drain cleaner turns my organs to soap.
Just don't want to get caught, what other pills can I take to hasten death?
>>268397 Tried helium but didn't use a proper exit bag so it fucked up, The suspense during the wait drive's me nuts and I'm extremely impatient! Need something that's gonna keep going even if I puss out halfway through.
>>268423 You can get helium on eBay in the UK but not sure how much you need but the design is not airtight so as not to pop but if it's too lose or runs out too quickly it won't work, where to get a decent exit bag?
>>268433 >>268434 Could probably find some decent bags somewhere but it can take time,
Last time I tried just a regular oxygen mask to the tank and pussed out after a few minutes anyway, Kinda want a ready made exit bag so I can have confidence it's a good one and also support the gigachads who sell them online (where buy?)
Even so with caffeine as long as you aren't discovered you basically start throwing up get knackered and eventually black out and die so long as you don't get caught and given potassium IV etc So maybe a few hours of agony followed by sweet realease of death. Hell there's news stories about derpy gymcells puting it in their protein shakes and dieing overnight.
I've gotten the stones out of cherries and got the little almonds out to hopefully take these amygdalin rich treats with vitamin C and become cyanide I have some oxalic acid lemonade to boot.
I'm terrified I'm going to get caught mid suicide or slip into a coma and get unwanted treatment so I want a line of defence so I can safely expire, something to forestall any would be saboteur.
I've considered chlorine gas as a possible line of defence to delay any unwanted intervention while the first thing does its job.
You can get bleach tablets which might beat carrying home bottles of bleach that are 95% water secondly I need an acid possibly another cleaner I heard good things about alcohol too.
Descalers sometimes have reactive ingredients it seems detergent suicides seem to be acid alkiline combos react and make that beautiful deadly smoke.
Might wear some swimming goggles since eye pain is a bitch but your supposed to have at least passed out in an hour, any advise or things to check for first?
>>271008 >any advise or things to check for first? Check if there's a 5-story building to jump off of instead because your plan sounds long, complicated, and offers to0o many opportunities for failure.
>>271010 Jump off a building you've got a broken leg tops, jump into the sea you've got the coastguard to deal with.
It's a small Scottish island so you'd be hard pressed to find a building above 2 stories.
Running out of savings so can't keep up mortgage much longer don't want to work and pay taxes especially since the ordeal I was subjected to after I got spiked. I want to put up a giant middle finger on the way out I plan to have my house bolted shut, take my poison and fill a bunch of plastic tubs with the right chemicals to gas the house and keep anyone who might intervene at bay for at least long enough for me to die. I want to fumigate to the house to accelerate death if I slip into a coma and prevent unwanted treatment. Bleach tablets and a few acidic liquids might hit the spot, no?
Anything that keeps the pigs at bay while it's going on. I desperately want a nobody gets in or out until I'm dead situation.
Last time I tried overdosing I was just sick from caffeine powder but amygdalin, vitamin C and oxalic acid seems promising I just want an extra layer of security.
>>271028 I'm guessing I'd have a 20 minutes to 2 hours of extreme discomfort unless I get lucky and pass out in the first 5 minutes.
Plan to stack some pallets behind the door as a baracade but the gas will hopefully be a sufficient detterant or at least those palettes could waste enough of the fireman's time if my cover gets blown.
I'm a fucking wuss but I need to stop fucking around just do it already.
Got my damn weekly meeting with the social workers tomorrow but I'm off the hook for a week after that so any night after that is probably as good a time as any.
No bleach tablets in the shops which really disappointed me but I got a few bottles of bleach and some lactic acid descalers, vodka and a few other chemicals to try.
I've been buying cherries and saving the stones and cracking them open to get the "tiny almond" said to be rich in amygdalin and some vitamin C which can apparently help it convert to cyanide.
>>267808 >I likely will go to university because what else should I do?
don't waste your youth in learning how to fit into a system you don't like. i suspect university makes it worse because the jobs they qualify you for are awful and soul crushing. also look at the older people around you. don't wait in line to climb onto a conveyor belt that tries you to make you into what they are.
what it sounds to me what you need is some positive experiences.
leave the toxic place you are at and travel around the country, maybe there are nicer places you have not seen.
>>271094 Not same guy but I'm "lying flat"/Let it rot ATM.
Basically I was a waigie who bought his own house but overworked so they were pushing me to take time off. Took day off and went out to unwind, got spiked said some weird shit when high and because I mentioned someone at work who is a bit of a prankster I got detained in a shithole asylum.
Got anger management issues when I get stressed so that didn't help.
My taxes paid for the hell o went through, my strong desire to own a home and live in a place I can make a living of my own aided and abetted the artificially Jewish housing costs.
Being productive and participation in society reinforces society and government.
Nothing we can do can make a dent on the shitty systems we live in but we can be passive aggressively denying them productivity and wasting their resources.
There may be bank account limits with neetbux, buy bling and anime figure's unironicaly or something you can trade
Eaten 9 cartons of cherries and cracked the stones to get the poisonous seeds out also got some vitamin C which supposedly helps the amygdalin become cyanide.
Is this going to be enough to to KMS
Got some shit to mix with bleach and some plastic pots to pour it all in and some pallets to barricade the door, what are my odds of success?
>>271101 Low, but you have a very high probability of giving yourself permanent brain damage. I saw a dude that tried to poison himself while in psych and he had severe retardation. He used to be a PhD engineer, but is now a drooling retard. The worst thing is that he knew what happened, he knew he used to be smart, and he knows now that he's irrevocably fucked. It was heartbreaking to hear him beating his head on the wall crying >I'm fucked I'm fucked I'm fucked >I want die I want die so bad >I'm retard I'm retard I can't go >Please God please God let me die I'm retarded Whenever he was calm he would desperately try to reconnect with his lost intelligence and would always say >God why I'm retard now I'm retard please God why Do NOT FUCK AROUND because you can end up in a FAR WORSE HELL. He was physically too retarded to kill himself at that point. Absolutely devastating. You will almost certainly not succeed with that set up and I recommend you call someone for help.
>>271103 I hate this sadistic determination by the state to force people who don't want to live to suffer needlessly at taxpayer expense.
It occurred to me something like that could happen I thought about talking oxalic acid too and setting off some bleach chemical mix and emptying my propane tanks into the house.
Are there some better recipes for detergent suicides? I heard of one guy doing it in his car and putting 11 pigs in the hospital
>>271104 Could you imagine waking up from that retarded, parapalegic, covered in horrifying chemical burns that torment you every waking moment of your life, and being unable to die? You have to get your ass wiped and diapers changed by hairy arab immigrants in a hospital for the rest of your life? Sheesh. Don't do it.
>>271101 >>271103 Do NOT poison yourself or rope yourself or use a low-caliber firearm if you're serious about this. The chances of getting brain damage but not dying from this retarded shit is very very high
Dude You live in Shetland there's water all over the place Rucksack full of rocks and tie the front of it across you (cable ties?) Get pissed Jump Last this is what I plan on doing next month…..
Drowning doesn't take very long really especially once you breath in the water from my reading in cold water it can happen as quickly as 20-30 seconds
>>271125 If I fill the bag with crushed chlorine tablets and amonium sulphate I could gas the lifeguard if I get caught which would slow down rescue feel like I could still use the poison seeds too just combining methods for maximum results.
>>271137 All about finding a place where you won't be discovered until the deed is done. I'm a fucking wuss so the fear of getting caught keeps me from working up the courage to do it
Chlorine and chloramine supposedly take 4 - 30 minutes to kill after filling the room and can persist for 2 - 5 days inside the house but has negligible effects to those near the house unless they go in and besides a bit of a smell and mild irritation. The thing I like is how there's fuck all to do after you've been sucking it up for an hour.
>>271143 Haven't joined discord yet seems like a pain in the ass to setup. But yeah sure ask any question you want within reason.
Biggest part is how tedious and petty life is, I'm aware of muh hypocrisy on this matter but my solution is to stop existing so that will even things out.
Had a very sheltered upbringing, got sent to the "special needs" section of the school, first few years of my job parents wouldn't fuck off kept butting in because me having a job at fucking McDonald's was causing them greif/fear the whole 9 yards.
Not a prestige issue but more they insisted on unwanted mollycoddleing and I just wanted to be left the fuck alone.
Get enough saving to move(you need to cover the equivalent of several months rent and when moving to a place with jobs you need to sometimes prove employment)
Bit paradoxical but you can get a job that pays less than rent as your key out of poorville so you can look for real jobs once you have a place.
Some islands are hard to move to and thus have a labour shortage because this limits your competition you can more easily get work in these places but only after you are housed.
Anyway I rented for over a year and bought the place because it's cheaper, was planning to pay off and go off grid in the future.
Was working 7 day a week consecutively for over a year.
Think I already mentioned getting knackered being advised to take time off, trying to go out to unwind and getting spiked.
Going out for drinks etc is something I never really did So thought I'd give it a try big mistake.
Didn't cope with being detained in hospital hell and I can't cope when people don't leave me the fuck alone. The shit they forced me to take made me feel shit and other than that acid trip that dropped after I got back from the night out I've never had hallucinations etc.
Every time I would get angry they would attribute it to some nonsense I reportedly said while high that night or someother bullshit.
In reality it was simply being a prisoner and being violently restrained to administer unneeded medication which had the effect of making it near impossible to concentrate and they kept switching it around which felt like torture given how it was affecting me.
My anger caused by detainment and unreasonable force used against me was attributed to fictitious things and because I told the truth, that being I had not experienced what they claimed I had and I simply was extremely miserable and angry at the situation they kept extending my detention.
For the latter half of my 3< month detention all I really talked about was wanting to leave and join dignitas I can't fucking stand being forced to live with others especially since I'm always stuck with the shittiest of people.
All this fucking effort and all I want is to be left the fuck alone, I don't have to endure anybody else's bullshit if I'm dead and I wouldn't notice if I was, the people who did the most to make my life miserable did so because they were "worried" or wanted to mollycoddle me. Biggest middle finger I can give to them would be to kill myself seems like a win win
Got 2 taped sessions with social workers about 45 minutes each where they even admit that it's just anger and frustration and there isn't a psychotic element. Bit worried about doxing myself to upload but maybe on D day It was literally just the screws blaming every indication of Anger and discomfort on it and trying to cash in on it.
All in all I put an undue amount of effort into becoming a homeowner just to be left alone, but It would have been better if I never bothered saved myself the effort and killed myself years ago.
>>271144 That's terrible, it seems like the people in your life don't take you seriously enough. Did you really save money to get a home, or to plan for a home purchase? Either way it shows that you're capable of making responsible plans for the future and other people don't respect that. I hope are able to make it through this wiz. What did they falsely claim you said that night while you were high?
>>271147 I have owned a house in Shetland since 2021 shit hit the fan last April.
I didn't do any crimes or hurt anyone when it happened but I remember some people from work called to check up at the time, I thought something was interfereing with my phone (I was high but not by intent) The trip was weird ever seen 1408 especially the laptop scene, I did see weird stuff on phone and apliences or outlets would randomly work/not work. Said some stupid shit that made sense at the time (again high and probably spiked when I went out) Locked myself in my house to sober up no idea how long I waited After I was sober I knew how I'd fucked up and went to talk to my boss at work to try to explain myself.
He wasn't in but the secretary who likely knew probably called during the incident she decided to waste my time going to look in places he might be. Probably called the cops and I got arrested on the way back home, halfway to my house they let me go as if they had the wrong guy but a few minutes later re arested me, during the whole thing start to finish it felt like an entrapment or something weird that I couldn't put my finger on was going on.
Felt like an entrapment.
The guy who ran the local shop has a few months prior to this had invited me over the his house when we meet on my walk back with groceries which is between my house and the shop (closed at end of last year when he had a nervous breakdown)
Talked about all sorts of shit and some of the shit we talked about that evening.
He was trying to open a pharmacy, somebody on the NHS board was lying about him, his failed attempt to join the navy where he minced an interview and someone thought he was a spy (Apparently a glowie gets assigned to you when that happens) he mentioned something he called sound files which was like mkultra and Rasputin got a parting gift of some french pate.
Dude was tangled up in some lawsuits, wouldn't surprise me if some of his merchandise had the same issue some suspicious Tylenol had either way that's neither here nor there, some of the guys who got laid off from the shop say he lost his medical license and was drunk on the job no source on this but he never struck me as an alcoholic
So after I got realeased after the first detention had the visit from the prick psychiatrist I had told him i thought I had been detained over a misunderstanding following a spiking, gave some details on what was going on and likely witnessed by others.
So the prick wants me to get daily visits I tell him that's excessive and he refuses to discuss it or explain his decision (This is what everyone did at the asylum too) After a few minutes of discussion I loose my paitence and I get angry and I end up breaking something and Dr Morgan runs out like a scared little bitch.
I knew he was going to get the cops so I tried to kill myself to avoid getting sent back to the asylum.
I got to read the notes and he wrote that I expressed paranoid thoughts about someone trying to kill me I never said anyone was I literally just said I thought I was spiked.
They aren't particularly concerned with the truth, more patients more funding after all.
maximizing the amount of money they get from the Scottish government so they ask for as much as they can come up with an excuse for, unironicaly want independence so they can finally stop being subsidised.
Fucking pigs came for me I had tye indint of the cuffs for days, cop killers are based.
Got realeased after another 2 months at the moment I've got these shitty weekly meetings and the CTO prevents me from traveling.
I fucking hate this country and a genocide against its people is justified
>>271148 It sounds like you've been through a lot, wiz. This Dr. Morgan sounds like a frustrating psychiatrist, and it definitely seems like the police and your employer were giving you a rough time over a misunderstanding. You never really wanted to hurt anyone did you? They just pushed you too far and you said things to voice your anger?
>>271149 No actual complaints about my boss, I was the one who turned down days off and I worked as much because I wanted the house.
I never threatened to attack anyone if that's what you mean, I had gotten tired and stressed at work which was what eventually lead to taking a day off and I ended up trying to find something to do that night, I used to do night shift.
Can't say for sure but that is what most likely lead to getting spiked, I've never done psycadelics or any recreational drugs besides alcohol before so it freaked me out. Already explained what happened next.
I've talked about it to others and have been told it sounds like LSD read a bunch Of trip descriptions and I saw many similarities.
I wasn't saying things like "I'm gonna get revenge on you" or that kinda shit it was more like "why the fuck is this happening to me is my phone tapped etc" I must have referenced some unrealated shit at work or whatever so they tied it to that.
That secretary I mentioned earlier called me for the first time while ever I was tripping balls(probably getting my number from work) Undoubtedly I said something stupid and cryptic (again I was high)
As for pigs UK police prefer to go after passive complyant people for petty shit while letting the real trouble makers off with a warning it's why we have Twitter arrests and guys getting locked up for fighting off burglars
"When your Police are pathetic and useless but you still love in a nightmare police state" meme goes well with this
Either way upon reflection and considering I've had severe anger management issues especially when I remember all the "Help" the state has forced upon me. Anger issues that I did not have prior to April and how I don't enjoy my life I definitely think ending it and becoming nothing is the best option only issue is risk of failure
It sounds like you have a lot to deal with. Can you tell me what you think might make you want to live? Do you think a mental health professional might be able to help you?
>>271157 All I've really wanted was to live alone and run my own life which prior to April I had albeit that I was working every day to keep that up.
Outside of work I didn't do much besides waste time on the computer, I did do some repairs on the barge board and some woodworking, painting etc after I bought the house but in winter the paint takes over a week to dry so probably would have gone back to that if I didn't spend the only useable time to do painting incacerated in hospital hell, now the house looks like shit and paints peeling off the shit I missed in 2021 nowadays I mostly get angry and break shit I used to cherish out of frustration.
My life revolved around my house and now it's in shambles, I don't particularly care about the people in my life and cut ties whenever possible.
Contemplating this I reflect on how vacuous and pointless my life was, I could make another flash movie or write a book but whose that for and why bother.
Had that shit not happend last April I'd probably just be working most of my time and focusing on the house.
All this effort just to be left the fuck alone but getting spiked once leads to the state appointing people to bother you.
Been living on saving and doing next to fuck all only thing that isn't broken is my phone everyone is being me to go back to work but why should I. To sustain my shitty existence where I don't enjoy anything a dedicated all my efforts to a house I now regret buying.
I'm not working ATM "there's time now" but I lack desire to do anything so I'd rather just punch my ticket and rest in peace
>>271160 It sounds like you are capable of doing great things, wizzie. I think you can make it, and it might be very hard for you because you are in a very bad spot right now. Psych facilities can be really shit too, so that doesn't help. Do you think you get angry faster than you would like to? Do you ever wish you were more calm, or do you think you're alright in that department?
Then again my life is shitty regardless of if I'm making money and I dislike my job, boss was and is a great guy for what it's worth though.
There's the other matter of repairs to my house and cleaning up all the rubble which is depressing and anger inducing.
Starting out as the occasional thing breaking after I got angry remembering the shit from the middle of last year and then breaking some shit to blow off steam.
Another thing that pisses me off is how I'd rather just get my fucking life over with because I have zero interest in continuing it. Not anger at my desire to death more the knowledge of what happens if I fail
>>271168 Anger is like a disease that will continue to grow until you can't control it any more. The pigs also like to provoke people to anger. They wouldn't be able to detain you if they couldn't make you angry. In a way it's being cultivated without your permission. A lot of psychiatrists are corrupt and don't really care about helping people, but some really do. Some might be willing to help you resist getting influenced by coppers. I definitely want to help you out, wizbro. What is the facility you got to like? Have you ever told them how you really feel, or do you just not trust them?
>>271144 not depper tier. Mental wards are basically just prisons where they try to write stories that keep people attached to their system. Don't tell psychs anything you experience because they right it all down and build on it
If you want my advice get a consultation with a lawyer. Document everything, esp the part where the social workers agreed with you. You also probably want to fix up your house and then sell it and move, since the psychs are usually tied to a geographic location
If you talk to le discord fags they're just gonna try and dox you or coax you into suicide like they do with everyone on this faggot site
>>271175 I couldn't get any help for any anger issues for 2 reasons 1 they were in complete denial anger or stress had anything to do with my extreme discomfort. They were too busy trying to treat symptoms I never experienced during my detainment with excessive medication.
There is absolutely no discussion of reasons for their conclusions so if you were to ask why they think you were thinking X during Y despite X having nothing to do with what happened during Y they will usually give a non-answer such as "Because it's my job to know" Which doesn't provide you with any useful information and denies you the chance to explain.
Generally speaking they will attribute literally everything to psychosis.
Don't like the prison food That's psychotic Get angry on the phone and don't take well to getting restrained They declare that to be psychotic and if you try to push them off that's considered violence.
Not being listened to so write it down. They will tell you that you think that writing things down is controlling things outside or some other bullshit.
Have skepticism about your diagnosis because they are attributing literally every reaction they directly provoked with physical force or any display of anger to utter nonsense They will say you lack incite.
My only substantial dealings with coppers is this "mental health detention" shit.
Anything else with police I just talked it over until they get bored 90% of the time pigs are just clocking up hours and avoiding doing anything useful.
Being detained under mental health bs is worse than being a suspect for a crime because they don't need to prove shit.
>>271181 I could try moving but there's all kinds of bullshit I'd have to do to do that and honestly I simply don't want to continue living so closing in on that goal is probably more feasible.
But I need to make sure the suicide is a success start to finish given how high the penalty for getting caught in the act or comatose will be.
Wish I had some suicide pact buddies so me and the boys could set off chemical/gas weapons at each of the hospitals entrance and DDOS them to prevent unwanted rescue.
I'm probably going to look into a better lawyer as mine accomplished absolutely nothing but as far as my case is going with tribunals etc there is acknowledgement that things caused by "pure anger and frustration" were missinterpreted as psychotic or "Everything I did would be treated as such" at a meeting with another psycaitrist which I was recording.
My discharge notes from my last detention acknowledged my desire to end my life was directly linked to my incaceration in a mental ward they also in the CTO extension wrote they beilived "further detention would only increase my determination to end my life"
My GP seems to be ok when I discussed refusing lifesaving treatment he said my reasons such as life being shit or pointless did not seem to be influenced by a detachment from reality or treatable mental illness.
Going back to being a productive member of society involves payment of taxes that fund shit like what I've been through and as an anti-natalist who thinks the country has too many fucking people anyway there's a strong case to just live off savings and end it before I run out of cash.
I don't want the punishment of further unnecessary "treatment" but I don't want the rewards the society offers either.
>>271194 Sounds like some bullshit, man. I've been in psyche and they definitely like to attribute things to psychosis or delusion even if it's clear that it's not. It's usually cause they can't understand wizards. There might be a way that you can solve this problem by beating them at their own game.
If you can tell them your concerns calmly, and be truthful about what concerns you, then they may be forced to really help you out. Then they can get out of your hair and leave you to your own life.
You might be able to meet a practitioner that wants to help you, too. >>271196 I really want to help you wizbro because I think you have a good potential to be a kind person. I don't think you really want to gas a hospital do you? You might end up hurting an unsuspecting wiz that just wants to play games.
Can I ask a hypothetical question? Would you be willing to talk to your GP just this once and tell him how you're feeling, and that you really want to put an effort into making things better? I know you really want to die, and I know it's selfish of me to ask you this, but I would be really hurt if one of my fellow wizards was beaten by the system and died.
Is there any way that I could convince you to consider this?
>>271196 >Wish I had some suicide pact buddies so me and the boys could set off chemical/gas weapons at each of the hospitals entrance and DDOS them to prevent unwanted rescue. lmaooo Wiznigga, i'm not too far from the area. i've never been but i might be able to get a flight within a week. knew one guy from there that had to go to the lerwick health centre on south road. you ever been?
>>271199 Yeah it's across the road from the hospital the mental health department is in the basement.
I would not actually try to attack a hospital as I mostly just want to cease to exist and be done with it. Don't actually have the capacity to pull that off.
Me and the boys aren't committing domestic terrorism any time soon.
Besides with terrorism the objective is capitulation, reform or accelerationisim. You gotta be 100% in no uncertain terms about your motives.
Given my demands are just "Fuck off and let me die already" it would be more practical to just suicide and have something provide a significant obstacle.
>>271196 I got ward'd and they tried doing the exact same shit with me but I managed to get them to drop the diagnostic crap and surprise surprise nothing has happened since.
In your context it just sounds like you've been fucked over extremely hard by the fraudulent mental health system. Where I live anyways if you're not suicidal (they can grab you) and not "actively psychotic" you can basically just refuse treatment the whole fucking way. Your situation sounds more severe given the police were involved but I suspect you should be able to shake the bullshit if you're able to demonstrate you do not have symptoms after going off this crap. I don't want to see you die man, especially not after reading all this
>>271198 I get your point about being beaten by the system as such a minute thing lead to months of hell.
That being said if I were to go out with a bang they couldn't declare it a victory and they pretty much spell it out that their bullshit strongly influenced my decision to end my life.
That being said they'd only learn the wrong lesson and just double down. >> they definitely like to attribute things to psychosis or delusion even if it's clear that it's not."
Setting up a one way ticket setup and realeaseing the tapes.
There is in my case admission that the "treatment" was detremental to my mental health yet every screw had the complete opposite view and that just gave them free reign to double down.
Need enough gas to do the job but not too much so as not to needlessly harm neighbors, detached house and good spacing best to pick a day when wind blows away from the house, send a few photos on the day of suicide maybe make the news post mortem. 3% chance of getting my side of the story out Mostly talked to my GP about opt out forms etc"Getting help" for anger would need to be done privately with a non NHS person due to trust/conflict of interest issues.
>>271202 >Mostly talked to my GP about opt out forms etc"Getting help" for anger would need to be done privately with a non NHS person due to trust/conflict of interest issues. A lot of private individuals aren't trustworthy and they may try to convince you to do something bad.
I think I know what you mean. You feel like they might try to attack your image and defame you with accusations from when you were spiked, right? If you die, then they will be able to say want they want about you and twist everything up without you being able to show your side of the story.
No matter what you say, they have the upper hand with media connections and other things. But the best way to win is to show that they aren't affecting you. If they say bad things about you, then none of it matters if you prove them wrong by living your life peacefully. By living to your best, peacefully, and working on yourself, you can prove everyone wrong without saying a word. They will be able to see that no matter what you or anyone else says about you, you really are a good guy that wants peace. Even if they think bad things, by not allowing them to break you, you prove them wrong.
Are you okay with going to them to calmly explain that you want help, and that you want to show that it was just a misunderstanding? I can also help you with figuring out how to do this, if you want.
>>271201 It's standard procedure to use the pigs to take you from your home to the hospital.
There was no actual criminal element to the situation, during my detention I asked if I could just be transferred to a non-psyciatric prison or something instead given they generally speaking have fixed time limits there. Was told "No, because I hadn't committed a crime"
Seems like in your case they don't want to give treatment when it's both unnecessary and unwanted, In the UK the government always picks up the tab unless the program is actually useful or helpful. As a rule of thumb if it makes you miserable they will always find the money.
They can keep more staff on the payroll if they keep paitents longer, the community mental health people aren't that bad, just not keen on the meetings but it's important to remember who they work for.
They are trying to get me to accept welfare/government financial aid. Some require you say you are disabled (it would force me to concede the bullshit diagnosis) Or require me to "look for work" basically not working out of spite rather than inability to find it.
As far as getting back on the horse or whatever, fuck that why should I be contributeing to a society and culture who is going to make it needlessly difficult to just be left alone without having patronising unwanted and unnecessary condescending "help" forced upon me.
Better to just give a big middle finger and an hero.
>>271203 Yeah I know what you mean with the media thing and honestly I'd rather just be dead without too much fuss.
My conversations with mental health people, social workers etc is basically that I simply want the restrictions lifted so I may pursue perfectly legal travel to dignitas, the subsequent arrangements with 2 Swiss doctors to show I'm doing it of my own volition etc.
The reason they don't want this is because they want to make the case the shit I was subjected to was condusive to anything positive.
Going imidiately to dignitas would contradict their view that detainment can be good for mental health rather than what it really was, A mistake they kept doubleing down on.
That being said they just do everything they can to keep travel restrictions in place etc and refuse to let go.
Tribunals are kangaroo courts where your testimony is worth noting and it takes about 2 weeks for a business class letter to get from mainland to Shetland tribunal notices are sent 7 days before the tribunal so as to give you the teleconference number after the tribunal has already happened.
I'm not going to be some martyr that causes introspection and actual scrutiny of how the rotten system treats anyone caught in this web, But an end to my life is potentially achieveable.
You said earlier: >They can keep more staff on the payroll if they keep paitents longer, the community mental health people aren't that bad, just not keen on the meetings but it's important to remember who they work for. And you're right. The NHS may not have your best interests in mind. Some of the team at LHC may really want to help you out. I don't know for sure, but I think you want to do the right thing and you don't like that they think you're crazy or angry.
You can try to start on a clean slate and tell them that someone online told you to contact them because you were planning to commit suicide. You can also tell them that you sincerely apologize for your anger and frustration (even if you were under extreme pressure) and that you really want to get help with your feelings.
If you're afraid that you don't know how to word it, I may be able to email them a little bit of information and tell them to anticipate your arrival. I can inform them that you are misunderstood, frustrated because of things that you couldn't control, that you felt the detainment was upsetting and possibly traumatic, and that I believe you really want to die and need help.
I think you can do it wiz, and I think you can really get better. I know that it seems risky and that you don't want to talk, but a lot of the people that work there really want to help, just like I want to help you. Do you think you can work with me?
So OP can you explain this for me. Do they have you on meds? Are you under some kind of mandatory state-appointed psychiatrist or nursing appointment crap? Do they have you on a bullshit diagnosis you can't repeal? Do you not have patient rights in this situation to get them to fuck off?
>>271219 Not op just joined the discussion since I had basically the same question.
When you get detained in the UK it starts with the cops taking you to hospital in cuffs
After that it's a lot of waiting around and whatever.
Got uncuffed and waited until I had to stay until the psycaitrists show up.
Said they "recommend I stayed the night" but did not tell me it was compulsory
So I get arrested after boarding a bus home
When I got there again I was told I was put on a "short term detention and shortly after sedated and woke up in Aberdeen
There's 2 tribunals after that for extending it and you have a Compulsory Treatment Order unless they drop it which I doubt they ever do.
I still have the initial bullshit diagnosis I can't repeal and they recently did an inconclusive autism test so they are now saying that my decision making is impaired by obsessive thoughts about death.
The reality is that my life isn't worth the effort and I don't want to contributeing to a society and culture who is going to make it needlessly difficult to just be left alone without having patronising unwanted and unnecessary condescending "help" forced upon me.
Ending my life neutralises the threat of unwanted and needles "treatment" and their insistence on dragging their heels constantly only reinforces that they refuse to fuck off.
I need both a death and "insurance policy" to ensure it goes uninterrupted.
>>271217 They are more than aware I want to die and it would probably just make my life more of a pain in the arse if we went down that route.
>>271221 I'm sure their reaction to anyone using sites such as this is going to be fantastic. I would advise against it but there's probably nothing I can do to change your mind. There's nothing to help with Just sick of this shit is all. I wish to boycott this dreadful country seek an end to my life to facilitate that.
>>271223 Your best choice at this point is to try not to lash out in anger and cooperate. They want to help you, and they can only do that if you admit that you need help. I think you're afraid people will see you as violent and irrational, and you don't want to admit that you could have done something you didn't really want to do. They will only look down on you if you make excuses for your actions or behaviors, but if you tell them that you want to change, I believe that they will be more than happy to help. Try not to act violent or angry. When you speak with them, think of this as an opportunity for a new beginning and a chance to prove that you aren't a psychotic person. Even if they suspect you for psychosis or other behaviors, as long as you change, their opinions of you will change too.
>>271225 If you speak to them calmy and answer every question directly and truthfully then they will be able to figure it out. One reason they might believe you're psychotic is because you may not have given them direct answers to their questions, or if you ever got irrationally angry without explaining why. If you give them a truthful explanation and a motive behind your actions, they won't even be able to misconstrue it as psychotic.
>>271227 >because you may not have given them direct answers to their questions I have given direct answers and explained my reasons >or if you ever got irrationally angry without explaining why. If you read what I said it was not a matter of getting irrationality angry. I the rationality was circumstances and "treatment" during detention.
They literally admit in the recording that there is no indication of psychosis but undeniable anger and frustration. Even admission that the clinical setting was traumatic and detremental.
Every attempt to discuss the conclusion of the psycaitrists would result in them refusing to give details about their rationale and all skepticism dismissed as "lack of incite" during my detention.
I keep my anger to myself when I'm at home but that's not something you can do under 24 hour surveillance
>>271227 nurses are the most fucking npc'd people on the planet. Only good advice I ever got from them was to tell the doc as little as possible. The more you interact with the system the more they'll just try to squeeze you into a box, schizo is one of the most over-diagnosed mental issues on the planet, all the docs know to do is give you pills that rot out your brain. Vernon Coleman claims there's a study for the UK where 75% of psychiatric patients were found to have been misdiagnosed. The only way to win is to get them to leave you alonoe
>>271245 solid source. you may well have a point but why bring up a figure like this to support it? >schizo is one of the most over-diagnosed mental issues on the planet do you have any source? i find it hard to believe
>>271249 >In speculating about other reasons why there might be so many misdiagnoses, the researchers say that it could be due to overly simplified application of criteria listed in the Diagnostic Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, a standard guide to the diagnosis of psychiatric disorders.
I read about an older guy who was told he was skitzo but turned out he was just autistic though I don't have details on this case
>“Electronic medical record systems, which often use pull-down diagnostic menus, increase the likelihood of this type of error,” says Margolis, who refers to the problem as “checklist psychiatry.”
There was a lady I met who had skitzotypal (no hallucinations odd behaviour) personality disorder but got listed as the version with the hallucinations because it was easier for them to find on the computer.
>>271245 >Vernon Coleman claims there's a study for the UK where 75% of psychiatric patients were found to have been misdiagnosed. Interesting, given how little they care about correct diagnosis I would bet it's much higher.
>>271245 >all the docs know to do is give you pills that rot out your brain.
Big pharmas gonna big pharma >The only way to win is to get them to leave you alonoe True, that being said I've had enough of life
>>271245 I agree. Personally, I would never accept psychiatric treatment unless I felt that I were having hallucinations or delusions. The wizard that wanted to do a chlorine gas suicide was just demonstrate extremely high levels of irrationality, anger, and paranoia so he was probably going to be dangerous to himself and others.
https://www.cchr.org.uk/physical-illnesses-misdiagnosed/ >In one study, 83% of people referred by clinics and social workers for psychiatric treatment had undiagnosed physical illnesses; >42% of those diagnosed with “psychoses” were later found to be suffering from a medical illness, and in another study, 48% of those diagnosed by psychiatrists for mental treatment had an undiagnosed physical condition.* https://www.newstatesman.com/long-reads/2022/12/end-mental-illness-health-unhappy-psychiatrists Not quite what we're looking for but there isn't a lot of UK stuff almost every other article mentions Americans. Likely nearly identical practices but comparing UK things is better when appealing my own case.
That's not to say I didn't see good info on those others.
https://www.talkspace.com/blog/misdiagnosis-mental-illness/ >bipolar disorder, but was originally misdiagnosed with schizophrenia. She attributes her misdiagnosis to cultural bias. “Psychiatrists sometimes erred when diagnosing African-American patients with bipolar disorder,” she said. “Unfortunately, they didn’t attribute that illness to people of my ethnicity, and our emotions were sometimes misread as psychotic.”
Weather race was or wasn't an issue that's addressed on the next line anyway, That's one of the few causes of misunderstanding that normies can actually process.
Give them jumping the gun and attributing everything to "psychosis" that US example does seem consistent with UK practices.
https://hside.org/impact-of-mental-health-misdiagnosis/ >Receiving the wrong medication can also lead to a person experiencing all the side effects of the medication without any of the benefits, causing undue distress and anxiety while leaving the root problem untouched
>>271258 Yep. What's amazing is with studies like this in abundance the system shows no sign of changing. All psychs do is drug people experiencing medical problems out of their minds and give a bumper sticker diagnosis. The idea that we need more mental health support is just a state sponsored meme to increase the size of their funding.
>>271264 I completely agree. In some cases, though, a person is clearly unwell and requires assistance. While the mental health system IS a scam, and it IS mostly ineffective for almost anything, it CAN buy time for some people. Almost any other system would be more beneficial, however. The psychiatric system is absolutely nothing when compared to spiritual, interpersonal, or community care.
>>271265 >absolutely nothing when compared to spiritual, interpersonal, or community care
Spiritual guidance regardless of if the theological underpinnings are true or false can help some people cope with and problem solve issues so collapse of organised religion for a large swaths of the population could have had a substantial effect.
There's the idealists who says "oh well we are going to replace relegion with love science instead"
What seems to have happened instead is quasi-political pseudorelegions and Scientism, the scientific method is a method of testing not a body of knowledge >interpersonal, or community care If you have any skepticism of your diagnosis you will simply be told you "lack incite" if you get them to cite an actual example of something and you explain what you were actually thinking/doing it's "oh, well we will just agree to disagree"
This is probably why they refuse to elaborate on reasons for decision or disclose what they thought the use was. >>271264 >need more mental health support is just a state sponsored meme to increase the size of their funding. Once they've got someone they are going to milk them for all they can get away with
I was sent to psychiatrists early on and they drugged me to shit, I had all kinds of side-effects including nervous system failures. They diagnosed me with all kinds of fancy bullshit and years later it turned out that they were just talking out of their ass and that my only mental problem was a self esteem issue and anything else was related to physical stuff.
Psychiatry is really just a grift most of the time and the people getting thrown into the machine are usually gullible and lack self awareness. I wasn't assertive enough at the time but it was obvious that they thought I'm a complete retard so they could play their scheme on me.
I'm also convinced that it makes things worse since people think they are mentally ill when they are not and that will lead to all kinds of mind games that can easily fuck them up.
>>271332 The book I was shilling earlier anatomy of an epidemic makes the argument that psychiatric drugs are the primary cause of deterioration in patients. He's partisan but it's pretty obvious almost nobody should be going to these people
>>271332 >They diagnosed me with all kinds of fancy bullshit and years later it turned out that they were just talking out of their ass and that my only mental problem was a self esteem issue and anything else was related to physical stuff.
Grifters gonna grift, Realistically there is no consequences for them so they will only get rewarded for being a piece of shit.
>>271333 They're insanely profitable and basically the only "treatment" they issue for "mental health" they have pointless conversions after the fact but they are literally just "checking your taking it"
That being said the "symptoms" I had post spiking were entirely down to being a prisoner etc so I suppose it's best to just say "I am"
>>271332 Some dumb bitch in her mid 20s diagnosed me with "narcisstic personality disorder" when I was younger because I was an impulsive edgelord at the time even though I was just insecure and felt cornered from getting bullied and stuff. I spent years thinking im an egotistic asshole and then I realized that these faggots just throw words around. I also mentioned that I think certain men get bullied in society and that made her accuse me of hating succubi for some reason, so I think the diagnose was rather personal. Now I'm not an edgelord faggot anymore and it's even more obvious how dumb all of this was and it blows my mind when I think about how much money these shitheads make by doing this.
Literally any person could go to a psychiatrist and get diagnosed with some crap.
>>271338 >I also mentioned that I think certain men get bullied in society and that made her accuse me of hating succubi for some reason,
To succubi it's always about them or another succubus. Weakness invites predation/Weak fear strong and strong fear the cunning.
I'm not saying bullying is something that the victim should bend over and take but I think learning to deal with it can help improve a person, unless it's taken to an extreme.
Societal role/function of bullying is actually debatable in itself.
>>271338 >blows my mind when I think about how much money these shitheads make by doing this. Thats our taxes at work only a collapse can shrink it but not much on the horizon atm
>>271340 >Thats our taxes at work only a collapse can shrink it but not much on the horizon atm well thanks a lot those tax dollars helped me escape wageslavery i really appreciate it. (these one fly over the cuckoos nest tier anecdotes sound like made up crap by the way)
>>271343 its institutions are what allow me to neet, i have had more positive/neutral than negative experiences with the psychiatrists i have seen, but it's not like i ever was locked up or anything. if you were, there was probably something legitimately wrong with you because they don't dump you in the looney bin just like that.
>>271344 Already went over what happened after the spiking I get why that was an issue, My issue was the complete refusal to discuss the issue or reasoning during detention I did not cope well with being a prisoner and I have already Voiced my view on the "treatment"
my problems with them is their treatment of those who aren't experienceing anything out of the ordinary but simply want to leave and peacefully end their lives.
Wish I could fight a Jihad against the enemies of right to die.
>Ramirez had been self-administering dimethyl sulfoxide as a treatment for pain, which converted into dimethyl sulfate, an extremely poisonous and highly carcinogenic alkylating agent, via a series of chemical reactions in the emergency department
Legitimately curious if I could overdose on something that could produce a simalar reaction if I get unwanted treatment post suicide.
That drug is probably difficult to source but I don't need the medicinal side I just need some toxic shit that's gonna pollute the air if anybody tries to revive me perhaps there are some more mundane sulfates, sulfoxides etc that could produce such a reaction in a clinical setting?
Seems more effective than the detergent suicide which could be an accidental "smoke signal" rather than a backup suicide method if done wrong.
this guy owns a house and showed every indication of wanting to finish it before meds and feds started interfering with his life and faggots still want to steer him to suicide instead of getting out of the institution trap. Fuck off
>>271505 Gueros complain about the Latinos in their country and want an expensive wall to keep them out, No senior there no dollars for that but plenty of dollars to give the amigos who hopped the fence, or build a waiting room in Rawanda or some other literal African shit hole like UK is doing.
But MUH rednecks on welfare too
How does it feel for white people to fund everything that they hate. It's understandable why the white left wants it's own race to die out Even with war they manage to get a worst of both worlds approach >>271499 >this guy owns a house and showed every indication of wanting to finish it before meds and feds started interfering with his life and faggots still want to steer him to suicide instead of getting out of the institution trap. Fuck off
My point is not about politics it's about contributeing to society and why one should reconsider doing that
So looks like dimethyl sulfoxide is available but from the looks of it can be expensive though it's not particularly poisonous it can make you sick.
The real question is WTF happened to cause the shit that happens to Ramirez and how could one get drunk on dimethyl sulfoxide or simalar and then cause the chemical reaction needed to both die and stave off doctors.
An apple a day keeps the doctor away, or so the saying goes only we need them to keep their distance for the opposite reason.
>>271614 Trying to "get help" so I can hopefully mitigate the risk of surviving a half arsed or sabotaged suicide.
Got 2 candidates for a hiding place but probably going to write up some step by step plan and create a diversion probably buy some ferry and train tickets but keep receipts where they can be found to create a diversion, buying 2 sets of tickets would be too obvious maybe get the real deal with cash or something.
Realize this world is absolutely totally and completely evil because it's filled with satanically evil shitpeople. That is the only truth that will ever matter.