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Post here when you don't have enough to say for a topic and it's too depressing for the general crawl thread.
Previous: >>282200
Previous: >>282200
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>>283313
I hate living with my parents but I have no where to go. No money, no car, no education. I could be homeless but it sounds beyond my abilities ; I've been coddled too long.
There's this agitation in my soul which keeps me restless. I feel like I should be doing something, but what thing is or how I could even accomplish it is beyond me.
Regards
31 year old wizard
I hate living with my parents but I have no where to go. No money, no car, no education. I could be homeless but it sounds beyond my abilities ; I've been coddled too long.
There's this agitation in my soul which keeps me restless. I feel like I should be doing something, but what thing is or how I could even accomplish it is beyond me.
Regards
31 year old wizard
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Computer Good.
>>283314
you can just pursue some education, some short degree, and take it easy from there. at least it will add to your library and it's better than having zero accomplishments.
you can just pursue some education, some short degree, and take it easy from there. at least it will add to your library and it's better than having zero accomplishments.
>>283316
>you can just pursue some education, some short degree, and take it easy from there.
You're starting a little strong for me. I would be lucky to get my GED.
>you can just pursue some education, some short degree, and take it easy from there.
You're starting a little strong for me. I would be lucky to get my GED.
>>283316
Why do you turds keep saying these platitudes?
Of what use is a degree that 99% of the time requires "networking" to land a job for a wizzie that can barely talk?
Why do you turds keep saying these platitudes?
Of what use is a degree that 99% of the time requires "networking" to land a job for a wizzie that can barely talk?
nice projection.
Wizards should pursue degrees in things they are interested in just for the fun of it.
It will make you feel accomplished and you can brag about it. Studying is always fun and a way to prevent COGNITIVE DISORDERS. Keep that mind sharp wizards!
Wizards should pursue degrees in things they are interested in just for the fun of it.
It will make you feel accomplished and you can brag about it. Studying is always fun and a way to prevent COGNITIVE DISORDERS. Keep that mind sharp wizards!
I hate being poor. I hate being a RAMlet. Black Friday coming soon, for once I'll feel better.
Fuck. It's all coming back to me.
I was basically right about everything as a kid.
My high school guidance counselor really was kind of a dick all along.
I was basically right about everything as a kid.
My high school guidance counselor really was kind of a dick all along.
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I give up trying to be optimistic about anything, it's too fucking much and i'm desensitized seeing so much horrible shit in the world, especially the insane religious Palestinians raping and celebrating deaths of civilians. What a joke of a world, it's all nonsense at this point. What the fuck does god even want from us? Why is this world so fucked up?
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Sorry. I'm very confused and I don't understand what's going on. I'm very afraid, I think I won't make it. I know I always come off as a sub 80 IQ cringe monkey subhuman god complex self-important repulsive retardo, just a very, very bad person, and I always make the same post but I don't know. I have to say it because it's important to me and I won't get to show what I mean so I have to at least say it and leave a record, although it's impossible to prove it through words alone and no matter how many times I try I still feel like never wording it properly and I feel like I didn't say what I wanted to say. I think something went very wrong in my life, I lost my life, I feel like a ghost. I think it was supposed to be different, it could have been different, and I'm different, I'm not like this, but something went wrong and I ended up like this. I think it's because of my parents or something, I think I was born in extreme conditions and I've been ruined or corupted, something like that, I don't know. I think I'm defective, something about my brain is broke, so I didn't know how to manage my emotions, but also, because I'm broke and defective, I feel like I enjoy certain things in ways other people can't enjoy. It must be a grave case of autism or some mental problem. I don't know. I don't understand myself and why I ended up like this instead of doing what I wanted to do, but please believe me that it's not my fault. But you could say it was my fault in a way, because I wasn't strong enough to overcome the difficulties. I just wanted to dedicate myself to something, I wanted to spend all my youth learning and getting good at something nice, like math, compsci, drawing or music (right now I'm leaning more towards mathematics because it's too late to do a lot of things and math seems the most important and makes me feel better and it seems greater but I don't know), because I want to be free and useful and mostly I love and enjoy doing it, but I couldn't and now it's just too late. I wish there were a benevolent god who watched over all this, I wish I could ask a benevolent god for another chance, like I wish I could time leap and go back to when I was between 2 and 8 and somehow get into math back then. Or I wish I was born again between the 1990s and 2020s into another body like in another country but with the same soul and still be myself somehow. Or reincarnate in the future if it will still be possible to be a human and learn a lot of things like it has been possible lately. I really wanted to study a lot. I wanted to follow the path that I think is right. I wanted to learn a lot, get really good at math or one of those things, dedicate every instant of my day to becoming better at this, and go to an university. I don't know what I'd do after, maybe a researcher but even teaching math at a public school would be ok. I think it's too late now, not because I lost the essence but I have to find a way to securely make money in a decaying socialist sh*thole while still having enough free time to study things, I think that won't be possible, I'll just end up homeless and I'll die without trying any of the things I wanted to do. Sometimes I feel like quitting and becoming homeless anyway or even killing myself in a gruesome way but I'm a coward. I don't know, it's really impossible to communicate this, it can't be proven through words, I just wanted to learn a lot of things and do a lot of things, I wanted to be free, but this was just a prison. I love learning things and doing things. I love understanding how things work and creating new things. Because I like being useful and making other people happy but mostly because I think it's what's right and makes me feel good. But it was a cage and I never got to do any of those things. I don't know how to explain this, I feel like I could be the freest person on the whole planet, I feel like maybe I could have been the happiest person on the planet, I feel so much joy and nice things, and I love just daydreaming and living in my imagination, I can't describe what it's like, it's like going above heaven's ceiling, it's incommunicable, but I'll never get to use it. I really wanted to communicate this but it's impossible through text. I just want to be really free. And if possible, useful too. I want to be free. I want to learn things and do things. I want to be myself, I want to try. I want to be free. I love dreaming.
I don't know what I'm going to do from now on. And even if I knew, it's possible I couldn't tell you. So I want to stop posting. I wish I knew the important thing that I want to say but I don't know what it is. But even if I just die as a retarded subhuman loser who never achieved anything I still think I felt something important. I don't know, I feel like something major is going on inside me but I have no idea how to explain it. I'm very, very scared. I hope everything ends well. I want to try being better now, and stop being a retard and act like I always wanted to, but I don't know if it's still possible or if there's a point, and I'm erratic so I might change my mind. I don't know, I will try to not make another post even if I change my mind, or remember something I wanted to say, or even if I find the answer to everything. This is just consuming a lot of time, I'm not good at managing emotions and even anonymous imageboards mess up my mind very badly. This post is pointless because I still feel like I couldn't propely communicate so I will stop. Sorry for being annoying and making posts. Sorry about everything. Sorry.
Sorry.
I don't know what I'm going to do from now on. And even if I knew, it's possible I couldn't tell you. So I want to stop posting. I wish I knew the important thing that I want to say but I don't know what it is. But even if I just die as a retarded subhuman loser who never achieved anything I still think I felt something important. I don't know, I feel like something major is going on inside me but I have no idea how to explain it. I'm very, very scared. I hope everything ends well. I want to try being better now, and stop being a retard and act like I always wanted to, but I don't know if it's still possible or if there's a point, and I'm erratic so I might change my mind. I don't know, I will try to not make another post even if I change my mind, or remember something I wanted to say, or even if I find the answer to everything. This is just consuming a lot of time, I'm not good at managing emotions and even anonymous imageboards mess up my mind very badly. This post is pointless because I still feel like I couldn't propely communicate so I will stop. Sorry for being annoying and making posts. Sorry about everything. Sorry.
Sorry.
>>283322
It's retarded to think you have to be either pessimistic or optimistic. Why can't you just realise that some things suck, but some are pretty cool too
It's retarded to think you have to be either pessimistic or optimistic. Why can't you just realise that some things suck, but some are pretty cool too
i have been extensively analyzing my behavioral patterns, including those i remember from the past and as of now i am able to meet all of dsm-iv-tr criteria for asperger except C, because i still cannot objectively evaluate whether i'm impaired and if yes how much. i am not able to get a therapist and won't be in many years to come so i'm likely to never get any clinically correct diagnoses.
i need more insight in asperger disorder in order to have more precise evaluations of myself. i need to know what life i'm facing.
are there any monolitic resources that gather relevant information or do i have to rumble through tons of scientific studies to assemble some useful knowledge?
i need more insight in asperger disorder in order to have more precise evaluations of myself. i need to know what life i'm facing.
are there any monolitic resources that gather relevant information or do i have to rumble through tons of scientific studies to assemble some useful knowledge?
>>283329
Most of the time it sucks though you fag, you're probably a first worlder living with mommy and daddy all day with all the nice things. Life is most of the time a struggle with a little goody shit in there but the events i'm seeing and shit going backwards i dont know what else to fucking think anymore. Why can't you get your head out of your ass?
Most of the time it sucks though you fag, you're probably a first worlder living with mommy and daddy all day with all the nice things. Life is most of the time a struggle with a little goody shit in there but the events i'm seeing and shit going backwards i dont know what else to fucking think anymore. Why can't you get your head out of your ass?
>>283323
you're not alone with that feelings expect i'm not afraid just can't care anymore.
quitting posting is something you will not regret. it won't make you feel better but you'll be more stable and able to cope. or at least that's my experience. just quit seeking easy rewards and self-bitching. it's hard, but it makes life better in a way even though you still don't feel alright. i can't quite put it in words as well
you're not alone with that feelings expect i'm not afraid just can't care anymore.
quitting posting is something you will not regret. it won't make you feel better but you'll be more stable and able to cope. or at least that's my experience. just quit seeking easy rewards and self-bitching. it's hard, but it makes life better in a way even though you still don't feel alright. i can't quite put it in words as well
>>283322
>raping and celebrating deaths of civilians.
Of course the world is going to look awful if you look at it through such a distorted lens. Instead, try looking at it as liberating and taking back whats rightfully theirs. Justice always prevails, and its worth looking at situations as objetively as possible.
>raping and celebrating deaths of civilians.
Of course the world is going to look awful if you look at it through such a distorted lens. Instead, try looking at it as liberating and taking back whats rightfully theirs. Justice always prevails, and its worth looking at situations as objetively as possible.
>>283323
I think you need to give the internet a break already man, you've been posting this shit for years and I don't see much of a solution to your problems. The world doesn't care no matter how you blog, it just doesn't and will still move on. Go take a bath.
I think you need to give the internet a break already man, you've been posting this shit for years and I don't see much of a solution to your problems. The world doesn't care no matter how you blog, it just doesn't and will still move on. Go take a bath.
I'm tired of being poor, it's been years and over the past month after an unexpected bill something just broke in me. I can no longer waste money on anything. I gave up drinking, I gave up buying all take-out food, I'm committed to just buying the cheapest clothes possible. As soon as my money goes in, I send everything out on bills, or overpay bills to ensure I'm in credit.
I actually have developed this weird aversion to spending money. I feel like if I buy even one treat, I'll instantly start wasting money again and I'll be vulnerable once another bill comes.
If you live week to week, you pay with your health eventually. Every novel bill, every car breakdown, every unexpected thing, pays interest with stress. I'm committed to never buying myself anything nice until I have at least six months of savings saved up.
I actually have developed this weird aversion to spending money. I feel like if I buy even one treat, I'll instantly start wasting money again and I'll be vulnerable once another bill comes.
If you live week to week, you pay with your health eventually. Every novel bill, every car breakdown, every unexpected thing, pays interest with stress. I'm committed to never buying myself anything nice until I have at least six months of savings saved up.
>>283346
Doesn't matter when prices are obviously jacked the fucked up nowadays. I don't know how people are still affording shit, 5 items at the grocery stores is costing 40 fucking dollars.
Doesn't matter when prices are obviously jacked the fucked up nowadays. I don't know how people are still affording shit, 5 items at the grocery stores is costing 40 fucking dollars.
>>283347
I swear I'm being gaslit by all the statistics on the average grocery bill, and reddit personal finance subreddits are full of bragging fucks. I spend $120-140 in my country's currency (I think that's like $60-70 US) on groceries a week. It's not rice and beans every meal, but it's just pure staples, coffee and cleaning products. Yet apparently I'm spending 30% more than the average person. I just don't see it…
Although I look in other people's trolleys and I see absolute goyslop. I'm talking 4 loaves of bread, sweets, soda and just microwave meals. Maybe that in part explains it.
I swear I'm being gaslit by all the statistics on the average grocery bill, and reddit personal finance subreddits are full of bragging fucks. I spend $120-140 in my country's currency (I think that's like $60-70 US) on groceries a week. It's not rice and beans every meal, but it's just pure staples, coffee and cleaning products. Yet apparently I'm spending 30% more than the average person. I just don't see it…
Although I look in other people's trolleys and I see absolute goyslop. I'm talking 4 loaves of bread, sweets, soda and just microwave meals. Maybe that in part explains it.
>>283348
>Yet apparently I'm spending 30% more than the average person. I just don't see it…
The assorted slops these people buy are just the snacks they eat in between their takeout fast food. In actuality they may be spending $200/week to feed themselves but only a small bit of that comes from grocery stores with the rest being from restaurants, so it's not counted in the cost of sustenance metrics which only record grocery sales.
>Yet apparently I'm spending 30% more than the average person. I just don't see it…
The assorted slops these people buy are just the snacks they eat in between their takeout fast food. In actuality they may be spending $200/week to feed themselves but only a small bit of that comes from grocery stores with the rest being from restaurants, so it's not counted in the cost of sustenance metrics which only record grocery sales.
>>283349
Self reported data about money is normally wrong, but yeah they normally don’t count lots of stuff like restaurants. They don’t count what they spend at work for lunch, what they spend at cafes, often excludes non-food products like washing powder. Other people are very unreliable when it comes to money.
Self reported data about money is normally wrong, but yeah they normally don’t count lots of stuff like restaurants. They don’t count what they spend at work for lunch, what they spend at cafes, often excludes non-food products like washing powder. Other people are very unreliable when it comes to money.
I realize part of my problem as a kid is I didn't feel enough social pain. Its like how kids who cant feel pain tear themselves apart. Pain hurts, but it serves a bio-purpose. And I thought I was some hero standing up against peer pressure. Peer pressure is actually the easiest thing to defy if you don't mind the consequences. I thought kids would beat me up and force me to smoke. No one is going to try to force you to be accepted. You wanna be an outcast knock yourself out. They'll also bully you for being an outcast. But they wont force you to be normy.
>>283384
Why the fuck would you want to do what the normies want? That's insane. They're all brainwashed by the people that rule them.
Why the fuck would you want to do what the normies want? That's insane. They're all brainwashed by the people that rule them.
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I often feel as if dark comedies more accurately depict reality than any other genre, subgenre, category, type, subtype, and/or style in fiction.
>>283392
i mean i love the genre of what i consider "loser comedy" including the above.
all my fav films are manbaby nihilistic psychotic losers.
i mean i love the genre of what i consider "loser comedy" including the above.
all my fav films are manbaby nihilistic psychotic losers.
>>283394
Super, Zero Charisma, The Foot Fist Way, Big Fan, Mystery Team, Step Brothers, Freddy Got Fingered, Bucky Larson, Black Sheep, Xavier Renegade Angel
Super, Zero Charisma, The Foot Fist Way, Big Fan, Mystery Team, Step Brothers, Freddy Got Fingered, Bucky Larson, Black Sheep, Xavier Renegade Angel
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ned_Vizzini
This guy made an anti-suicide book and movie but then did it
This guy made an anti-suicide book and movie but then did it
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>>283397
This guy posted positivity, encoring you not to give up on life, on Reddit but ended up doing a mass shooting
Connor Sturgeon
This guy posted positivity, encoring you not to give up on life, on Reddit but ended up doing a mass shooting
Connor Sturgeon
"The world is a fine place and worth the fighting for and I hate very much to leave it."
Hey, the guy who wrote that killed himself!
AAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Hey, the guy who wrote that killed himself!
AAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
I grow older but everyone on the Internet stays the same age. The internet is still 99% teens and people around 20.
What was fun in 20s is now dreadful and boring in your 30s. I just needed to pass the time a bit in my 20s and now it's nearly a decade since trump was president.
I'm still in the same room, same bed, same clothes listening to the same music and eating the same foods.
Nothing about me changed but the whole world is now unrecognizable.
What was fun in 20s is now dreadful and boring in your 30s. I just needed to pass the time a bit in my 20s and now it's nearly a decade since trump was president.
I'm still in the same room, same bed, same clothes listening to the same music and eating the same foods.
Nothing about me changed but the whole world is now unrecognizable.
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>>283410
Just got the "You are not allowed to have adblockers on youtube message" and I came to wizchan and saw your post
It's like the world is very firmly telling me I have no place in it. There's a spectre wandering around killing every last piece of escapism left. What am I supposed to do? No friends left, no hobbies or websites, mental status is on the decline, huge debt, parents health falling.
I…really wish I had some kind of hope. Even the hope of abusing a drug or jerking off, but even that is boring to me.
Just got the "You are not allowed to have adblockers on youtube message" and I came to wizchan and saw your post
It's like the world is very firmly telling me I have no place in it. There's a spectre wandering around killing every last piece of escapism left. What am I supposed to do? No friends left, no hobbies or websites, mental status is on the decline, huge debt, parents health falling.
I…really wish I had some kind of hope. Even the hope of abusing a drug or jerking off, but even that is boring to me.
>>283414
Why even use youtube? Just use yewtu.be or one of its million instances, or if you use a terminal/the command line a lot, use ytfzf. Don't give these places any power over you. They thrive on ignorance and thoughts of 'convenience'.
Why even use youtube? Just use yewtu.be or one of its million instances, or if you use a terminal/the command line a lot, use ytfzf. Don't give these places any power over you. They thrive on ignorance and thoughts of 'convenience'.
>>283414
I never got that. It's been over a decade I don't see an ad. Are you using ublock and noscript? You have to know how to tweak your browser and have the right concoction of blockers in order to have a perfect experience. It's not hard to learn but you can't expect anything to work out of the box exactly like you want.
>>283415
>Why even use youtube?
Zillions of hours of free content readily available. Music, movies, footage from everything from everywhere from today back to the very first film recorded in history. I can go to yt right now and have a peek on how Earth looks like from the international space station. I can see animals drinking from a water hole in the African savannas right this instant. I can watch a detailed comparison between box fans, computer processors, vacuum cleaners, monitors, pillows or whatever else. I can access a painstakingly long and detailed review about Kant's Critique of Pure Reason by a Harvard professor. I can watch university lectures for free, or just some Korean succubus eating 4 pounds of pasta in one sitting or the Chinese rover landing on Mars. Why use youtube? Seriously?
If you can't shape sites like youtube to your needs with all the tools and powerful browsers we have today then I don't know what to tell you.
I never got that. It's been over a decade I don't see an ad. Are you using ublock and noscript? You have to know how to tweak your browser and have the right concoction of blockers in order to have a perfect experience. It's not hard to learn but you can't expect anything to work out of the box exactly like you want.
>>283415
>Why even use youtube?
Zillions of hours of free content readily available. Music, movies, footage from everything from everywhere from today back to the very first film recorded in history. I can go to yt right now and have a peek on how Earth looks like from the international space station. I can see animals drinking from a water hole in the African savannas right this instant. I can watch a detailed comparison between box fans, computer processors, vacuum cleaners, monitors, pillows or whatever else. I can access a painstakingly long and detailed review about Kant's Critique of Pure Reason by a Harvard professor. I can watch university lectures for free, or just some Korean succubus eating 4 pounds of pasta in one sitting or the Chinese rover landing on Mars. Why use youtube? Seriously?
If you can't shape sites like youtube to your needs with all the tools and powerful browsers we have today then I don't know what to tell you.
>>283313
dad portioning up dinner and putting it away in the fridge in one of those miniscule little fucking takeaway tupperwares. nice one dad you fucking fat idiot, i just bust my ass off at work all day and you do that? stupid fat retard
dad portioning up dinner and putting it away in the fridge in one of those miniscule little fucking takeaway tupperwares. nice one dad you fucking fat idiot, i just bust my ass off at work all day and you do that? stupid fat retard
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I lost my motherfucking debit card. I had $50 tops on it, but damn that's a lot for a neet. Was saving for a new graphics card ;_;
>>283421
I hate boomers so much its unreal. My dad refused to give me $100 for supplements when I caught covid for the first time, and this week he is getting a new $100,000 SUV. What the fuck is their problem? Ill never own a home, or even have enough starting capital for a business, and this retard squanders his money on unnecessary shit. The day of the pillow cannot come soon enough.
I hate boomers so much its unreal. My dad refused to give me $100 for supplements when I caught covid for the first time, and this week he is getting a new $100,000 SUV. What the fuck is their problem? Ill never own a home, or even have enough starting capital for a business, and this retard squanders his money on unnecessary shit. The day of the pillow cannot come soon enough.
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Okay, I admit. I'm addicted to pic related.
>>283427
I actually get frustrated with how they waste money on cars, why do they like such oversized vehicles? The ones here that are retiring are complaining all the time how little pension they're getting and how hard it is. Like bro, you own your house mortgage free, you're only paying property insurance, property tax and electricity as weekly bills. They're complaining to a generation that won't have a pension who doesn't own their own home.
>retard squanders his money on unnecessary shit.
I don't want a cent of my parent's money but this frustrates me too. They're giving up generational wealth to collect depreciating assets and toys.
I actually get frustrated with how they waste money on cars, why do they like such oversized vehicles? The ones here that are retiring are complaining all the time how little pension they're getting and how hard it is. Like bro, you own your house mortgage free, you're only paying property insurance, property tax and electricity as weekly bills. They're complaining to a generation that won't have a pension who doesn't own their own home.
>retard squanders his money on unnecessary shit.
I don't want a cent of my parent's money but this frustrates me too. They're giving up generational wealth to collect depreciating assets and toys.
>>283420
>words words words
Way to miss the point. The point is, you don't actually have to use the youtube site, with all of its ills, to access youtube content. Try actually looking into what people are saying first next time. How ironic your last line is. Retard.
>words words words
Way to miss the point. The point is, you don't actually have to use the youtube site, with all of its ills, to access youtube content. Try actually looking into what people are saying first next time. How ironic your last line is. Retard.
>>283436
>>283420
Here, I'll even post direct links. I'll resist the urge for further insults and let the links speak for themselves.
https://github.com/iv-org/invidious
>Invidious is an alternative front-end to YouTube
>No ads
>No tracking
https://docs.invidious.io/instances/
>see yewtu.be at the top of the above
https://github.com/pystardust/ytfzf
>A posix script to find and watch youtube videos from the terminal. (Without API)
Hopefully this can help other wizzies.
>>283416
Yeah, I know what you mean. It's just sometimes I feel the urge to help out the people on here who may not know of simple solutions for things as far as software etc. There was a time when I was clueless as well.
>>283420
Here, I'll even post direct links. I'll resist the urge for further insults and let the links speak for themselves.
https://github.com/iv-org/invidious
>Invidious is an alternative front-end to YouTube
>No ads
>No tracking
https://docs.invidious.io/instances/
>see yewtu.be at the top of the above
https://github.com/pystardust/ytfzf
>A posix script to find and watch youtube videos from the terminal. (Without API)
Hopefully this can help other wizzies.
>>283416
Yeah, I know what you mean. It's just sometimes I feel the urge to help out the people on here who may not know of simple solutions for things as far as software etc. There was a time when I was clueless as well.
I'm being tortured by an urge I'm unable to either identify or suppress. It is such a peculiar feeling I can't possibly put it in words. It does not induce any particular feeling. It is just a nonexistent sensation that I want to be gone. I'm yet to investigate if I can employ stimming to combat it.
Looks like I somehow fucked up my PC by installing a used gpu (5700xt) I bought. Now it won't turn on even with the previous one installed
>>283462
This is one reason I'm afraid of buying a used gpu. A used hard drive, ram or cpu is no biggie, gpus being as power hungry as they are. Wew.
This is one reason I'm afraid of buying a used gpu. A used hard drive, ram or cpu is no biggie, gpus being as power hungry as they are. Wew.
>>283464
No. Turns on and only fans spin. The power button led doesn't turn on. I'm scared it's the Mobo but I'll check another PSU. It's a fairly new PC so it sucks
No. Turns on and only fans spin. The power button led doesn't turn on. I'm scared it's the Mobo but I'll check another PSU. It's a fairly new PC so it sucks
>>283471
I bought a used GTX 670 in 2012 and it still runs to this day.
It's countless generationa behind and still runs games like Diablo IV at 1080p and decent settings.
Moore's law has died a long time ago
I bought a used GTX 670 in 2012 and it still runs to this day.
It's countless generationa behind and still runs games like Diablo IV at 1080p and decent settings.
Moore's law has died a long time ago
>>283475
That's not surprising, because in multirender benchmarks, GTX 970 which is still a solid legacy GPU to this day runs at 67fps while a 670 runs at 50 FPS.
We are past the days of the early 2000's where even two year old GPU's basically became obsolete overnight.
Today you can use a 5-10 year old GPU and play Witcher 3 with good graphics quality and FPS.
That's not surprising, because in multirender benchmarks, GTX 970 which is still a solid legacy GPU to this day runs at 67fps while a 670 runs at 50 FPS.
We are past the days of the early 2000's where even two year old GPU's basically became obsolete overnight.
Today you can use a 5-10 year old GPU and play Witcher 3 with good graphics quality and FPS.
I have such a shit reputation in this city and just want to start over. I feel like you can actually never recover from a shit reputation, no matter what people say. In ten years time, twenty years time, you'll still be tarred with the same brush.
If I didn't own a house and have a mortgage, I'd be on the next bus out of here starting again somewhere new.
Fuck normies, why do they take such an obsessive interest in other people?
If I didn't own a house and have a mortgage, I'd be on the next bus out of here starting again somewhere new.
Fuck normies, why do they take such an obsessive interest in other people?
Chemotherapy gave me brain damage so I can no longer remember anything and learning things is so much harder now.
cool how I get cancer meanwhile tons of faggots and garbage human beings go on and live good lives. whatever man
cool how I get cancer meanwhile tons of faggots and garbage human beings go on and live good lives. whatever man
>>283475
Crypto wasn't as widespread as today. Nor were amateur repairmans. It's amazing how the idea of "reflowing" to fix any electronic got imprinted in the mind of every guy in his 20s after the mess of the 360. Did you ask the seller for proofs? A vide of him stress-testing it?
>>283486
>Fuck normies, why do they take such an obsessive interest in other people?
Fuck kiwis you mean, normies aren't invested in this stuff, man.
Crypto wasn't as widespread as today. Nor were amateur repairmans. It's amazing how the idea of "reflowing" to fix any electronic got imprinted in the mind of every guy in his 20s after the mess of the 360. Did you ask the seller for proofs? A vide of him stress-testing it?
>>283486
>Fuck normies, why do they take such an obsessive interest in other people?
Fuck kiwis you mean, normies aren't invested in this stuff, man.
>>283488
Life just unfair man, i'm sorry that you got cancer. No one, not even my worst enemy deserves this confusing meaningless life.
Life just unfair man, i'm sorry that you got cancer. No one, not even my worst enemy deserves this confusing meaningless life.
>>283489
There's not much to say. I was diagnosed a year ago, went through treatment and now I'm ok, ostensibly.
thinking now on it a lot of people suffer tremendously. i'm not special. and in the end we all go from cancer or heart disease or something else and it's painful. but at least they get something good before then.
There's not much to say. I was diagnosed a year ago, went through treatment and now I'm ok, ostensibly.
thinking now on it a lot of people suffer tremendously. i'm not special. and in the end we all go from cancer or heart disease or something else and it's painful. but at least they get something good before then.
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I want them to write me a letter so I know it's real. I don't trust anyone really.
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Another useless lonely day. God I'm always so miserable.
i've been wanting to starve myself since i was like 13, i'm going to start doing it now i think. i'm in my mid twenties. if i keep going like this i'm going to end up a chubby nigger until i'm dead and i don't want that, i like the idea of looking like a zombie meth head
I need to call the gas company to ask why they cut off my heat but I'm so afraid of making a phone call that I'll probably just freeze all winter.
when i sleep i feel like im dead, and i feel relieved. but when im awaken i feel like im being brought back into the hell my parents brought me into, which is this fucking world.
>fill house with shit
>can’t find something
>get angry
>buy 2 of the thing because you’re convinced someone else has thrown them away
>lose new items in rubbish everywhere
>get angry, shout at people you can’t find them, buy more
That my wizzies, is why I’m sitting here cleaning my mothers room and have found a 10 dustpan and brushes in her crap. The irony that something meant to clean is lost underneath all this crap is not lost on me.
>can’t find something
>get angry
>buy 2 of the thing because you’re convinced someone else has thrown them away
>lose new items in rubbish everywhere
>get angry, shout at people you can’t find them, buy more
That my wizzies, is why I’m sitting here cleaning my mothers room and have found a 10 dustpan and brushes in her crap. The irony that something meant to clean is lost underneath all this crap is not lost on me.
>>283522
Hoarders are actually sub-human animals. They all have narcissistic streaks to them too.
Clean hoarder's homes
Scrub hoarder's homes
Throw everything a hoarder owns into the garbage.
Hoarders are actually sub-human animals. They all have narcissistic streaks to them too.
Clean hoarder's homes
Scrub hoarder's homes
Throw everything a hoarder owns into the garbage.
>>283522
>>283523
I have a family member who is a massive hoarder and they cause huge stress issues for my entire family. Piles of old trash, clothes, towels stacked in boxes which fill up the house.
And EACH piece of garbage they treat like the wood from the true cross. don't you dare step on one of their old dirty towels from 1998 or it's like you kicked their dog.
>>283523
I have a family member who is a massive hoarder and they cause huge stress issues for my entire family. Piles of old trash, clothes, towels stacked in boxes which fill up the house.
And EACH piece of garbage they treat like the wood from the true cross. don't you dare step on one of their old dirty towels from 1998 or it's like you kicked their dog.
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Sorry.
Aw crap the voices are doing it again. Telling me to kill people. Won't even let me watch TV in peace.
I just remembered my father being furious and yelling at me back in 2015 because he kept insisting that a medication being prescribed to me to treat depression in 2013 and 2014 called "escitalopram" was–according to my father–meant to treat schizophrenia. His reasoning? The first few syllables in "escitalopram" sound vaguely like the prefix in "esquizofrenia" (the Spanish name for "schizophrenia").
Perhaps ironically; I ended up getting prescribed aripiprazole to treat depression in 2017, 2018, and early-2019 (which actually is, sometimes, prescribed to treat schizophrenia). I did not develop hallucinations until October of 2019.
I never received the schizophrenia diagnosis, however, I was involuntarily committed to a hospital in August of 2022.
Perhaps ironically; I ended up getting prescribed aripiprazole to treat depression in 2017, 2018, and early-2019 (which actually is, sometimes, prescribed to treat schizophrenia). I did not develop hallucinations until October of 2019.
I never received the schizophrenia diagnosis, however, I was involuntarily committed to a hospital in August of 2022.
>>283522
>>283523
>>283526
As a *digital* hoarder I am moderately offended but I completely understand your gripes with it. Actually, when I had to share my laptop and phone this problem readily came to light
>"anon……. where's X holy fuck man you have so much junk in here"
Don't bully us, we do it out of deep-seated scarcity trauma + adhd. My mom did it too. I only affect myself though, sometimes the entire household by clogging the router with torrents.
>>283523
>>283526
As a *digital* hoarder I am moderately offended but I completely understand your gripes with it. Actually, when I had to share my laptop and phone this problem readily came to light
>"anon……. where's X holy fuck man you have so much junk in here"
Don't bully us, we do it out of deep-seated scarcity trauma + adhd. My mom did it too. I only affect myself though, sometimes the entire household by clogging the router with torrents.
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Waiting for liquor store to open. It's 5AM where I'm at. I hit it right in the slot. Sipping on a beer to tide me over until the store opens. Normally I'd be all out and praying to God.
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Also I rode out the alcohol withdrawal for 3 days and feel ok now. At one point I looked out of my window at night and the end of the street was streaked in red, and it led to the middle with a color gradient. I heard voices and couldn't walk properly. I was totally confused. But I didn't freak out because I knew exactly what was up. I hope I just seize up one day and hit my head and die. Stupid fucking waste of life just kill me already.
>>283534
thats the scary part, the wizards you once knew back in day are probably dead or simply moved on
thats the scary part, the wizards you once knew back in day are probably dead or simply moved on
>>283540
I really feel like wizards are dying out. People claim the young people these days don't have sex - I don't buy it. Everything is so sexualized. Sex is god now. As much as possible with no regard to consequences.
I really feel like wizards are dying out. People claim the young people these days don't have sex - I don't buy it. Everything is so sexualized. Sex is god now. As much as possible with no regard to consequences.
I've been thinking about how my brain works recently and it feels like it might be different from how other people's brain work and their thought patterns. With me it feels like there is a continuous string of thought constantly and there's no room in between the thoughts that I might have, it's like I can't keep my mind from thinking things at all times and I don't know if this might be the consequence of some psychological condition I might have, but I feel like there could be people out there that don't have this constant and never ending string of thought at all times. I feel sometimes like this might be something abnormal and if you think about basic things like how much this could potentially affect someone in the long run I would say that it's not a very sustainable thing for someone's mind to work in such a way. It leads me to believe sometimes that I might not live to have a functional brain for all of my life and that there might be a point in time where I'll end up having some type of impairment that will eventually manifest itself within me and that it could make me into some type of vegetable as time passes. I have been like this for all of my life and if it might be the consequence of a disease then I get scared that this could eventually mean that I'll become different in a bad way the longer time goes on.
>>283544
Reminds me of the fact that when I wake up in the morning my stream of thought from the previous day continues right away. Not sure if this is what you mean or if it is normal.
Reminds me of the fact that when I wake up in the morning my stream of thought from the previous day continues right away. Not sure if this is what you mean or if it is normal.
My mother just made me breakfast and I found a worm crawling on my food and she referred to it as a "paloma" (Spanish word for "pigeon").
It wouldn't bother me as much if she'd just let me cook my own damn food.
It wouldn't bother me as much if she'd just let me cook my own damn food.
Tactile hallucinations started up again last night. Sensation that I was being eviscerated and my eyes were being gouged out. Very, very, very unpleasant.
Among other unpleasant experiences.
Among other unpleasant experiences.
>>283543
>Everything is so sexualized.
I think that is why people aren't having sex. Like why put in so much effort to see a titty irl when you can easily see it for free online? Like if porn or sexualized content leads to actual sexual activity, then anime nerds would be sex-addicted perverts instead of perverted shut-ins who fucks their pillows.
>Everything is so sexualized.
I think that is why people aren't having sex. Like why put in so much effort to see a titty irl when you can easily see it for free online? Like if porn or sexualized content leads to actual sexual activity, then anime nerds would be sex-addicted perverts instead of perverted shut-ins who fucks their pillows.
>>283544
I think this is extremely common, especially if you are depressed.
I managed to fix this problem with myself but it takes quite a bit of work and self-realization. Basically learning how to be happy and content with yourself and live in the moment. Meditation also helps a lot, but that isn't going to help on its own if your mind is sick to begin with.
I think this is extremely common, especially if you are depressed.
I managed to fix this problem with myself but it takes quite a bit of work and self-realization. Basically learning how to be happy and content with yourself and live in the moment. Meditation also helps a lot, but that isn't going to help on its own if your mind is sick to begin with.
>>283543
>Sex is god
Sex gives the chance to bring new life so i'm not surprised why everyone obsessed with it. I hate how my body always want it yet I truly don't care about it.
>Sex is god
Sex gives the chance to bring new life so i'm not surprised why everyone obsessed with it. I hate how my body always want it yet I truly don't care about it.
wooooooo
weeeeeeeee
that's
that's actually not as bad as I thought it would be
Damn shame about tolerance, though.
weeeeeeeee
that's
that's actually not as bad as I thought it would be
Damn shame about tolerance, though.
Being bored is the worst because nobody sympathizes with you. It's like being bored personally offends nearly every faggot on the planet.
>when people assume that you're bored because you just want to talk to them so they respond by making a scene in front of everyone
>>283572
It is indeed horrible, and it only gets worse. Like logically speaking, you will get older, you will accrue more mental and physical problems, and you will have less and less to look forward to. It's simply a function of time. Anyone who does not understand this basic aspect of life is either willfully ignoring it or incapable of understanding it.
The only real thing anyone has to look forward to is death. Everything else falls away. Anything you pursue - knowledge, fame, money, whatever you want, will reveal itself as being empty and unsatisfying. It's weird, when I talk about this I'm always pre-rolling my eyes because I know some faggot will reply with "life isn't all bad!" but to me what I am saying is so fucking obvious it almost feels condescending, like telling someone to dry their clothes after washing them.
It is indeed horrible, and it only gets worse. Like logically speaking, you will get older, you will accrue more mental and physical problems, and you will have less and less to look forward to. It's simply a function of time. Anyone who does not understand this basic aspect of life is either willfully ignoring it or incapable of understanding it.
The only real thing anyone has to look forward to is death. Everything else falls away. Anything you pursue - knowledge, fame, money, whatever you want, will reveal itself as being empty and unsatisfying. It's weird, when I talk about this I'm always pre-rolling my eyes because I know some faggot will reply with "life isn't all bad!" but to me what I am saying is so fucking obvious it almost feels condescending, like telling someone to dry their clothes after washing them.
>>283574
>Anyone who does not understand this basic aspect of life is either willfully ignoring it or incapable of understanding it.
I wish it was explained earlier in life, but I can see why people would try to remain ignorant of it.
>It's simply a function of time
Sounds like… entropy
>when I talk about this I'm always pre-rolling my eyes because I know some faggot will reply with "life isn't all bad!" but to me what I am saying is so fucking obvious it almost feels condescending,
That's because according to popular wisdom, you're supposed to "live in the present" but how the fuck can you live in the present knowing there are millions if not billions you're indirectly and directly competing with for every possible future resource and opportunity? How can a man relax under such conditions? For me it's like those people who say they have driving anxiety, they say being aware of all the things that could go wrong is the source of their inability to sit behind the wheel. That's how I feel about life in general. Oddly, I can drive without issues.
>Anyone who does not understand this basic aspect of life is either willfully ignoring it or incapable of understanding it.
I wish it was explained earlier in life, but I can see why people would try to remain ignorant of it.
>It's simply a function of time
Sounds like… entropy
>when I talk about this I'm always pre-rolling my eyes because I know some faggot will reply with "life isn't all bad!" but to me what I am saying is so fucking obvious it almost feels condescending,
That's because according to popular wisdom, you're supposed to "live in the present" but how the fuck can you live in the present knowing there are millions if not billions you're indirectly and directly competing with for every possible future resource and opportunity? How can a man relax under such conditions? For me it's like those people who say they have driving anxiety, they say being aware of all the things that could go wrong is the source of their inability to sit behind the wheel. That's how I feel about life in general. Oddly, I can drive without issues.
I don't have a passion for anything. My dreams are all unrealistic and impossible.
My only drive is wanting things to be better, somehow.
I feel like I need to zap my brain for a hard reset, I'm stuck in a loop like a machine
My only drive is wanting things to be better, somehow.
I feel like I need to zap my brain for a hard reset, I'm stuck in a loop like a machine
>>283575
>"live in the present"
If it can be obtained, it's not bad. Anyone who can let go, attaining a kind of perfect inner indifference is free from a great deal of suffering. But what I am describing is very similar to Buddhism. What normalfags describe as "life in the present" is a contradiction. You must somehow balance pursuing wealth and maintaining relationships and status while simultaneously only caring about the present? How the fuck can one do that?
Become a true buddhist isn't something trivial either. For most of us we don't have that kind of perfect emotional control.
>"live in the present"
If it can be obtained, it's not bad. Anyone who can let go, attaining a kind of perfect inner indifference is free from a great deal of suffering. But what I am describing is very similar to Buddhism. What normalfags describe as "life in the present" is a contradiction. You must somehow balance pursuing wealth and maintaining relationships and status while simultaneously only caring about the present? How the fuck can one do that?
Become a true buddhist isn't something trivial either. For most of us we don't have that kind of perfect emotional control.
>>283578
The problem with killing yourself is that it requires more energy than someone who is suicidal can give.
The problem with killing yourself is that it requires more energy than someone who is suicidal can give.
>>283579
You think it takes more energy to commit suicide than putting in the effort of learning to truly give up on all desires?
I suppose just suffering is easier than either of the two, if that's what you're alluding to
You think it takes more energy to commit suicide than putting in the effort of learning to truly give up on all desires?
I suppose just suffering is easier than either of the two, if that's what you're alluding to
>>283574
I don't understand why we aren't mean to be happy and enjoy a long-ever lasting good life. Why is life so horrible and how does something like all of this exist? Are we being punished?
I don't understand why we aren't mean to be happy and enjoy a long-ever lasting good life. Why is life so horrible and how does something like all of this exist? Are we being punished?
>>283580
I said they're both difficult. But a depressed person already has a headstart on giving up desire, right? We don't feel much pleasure already.
I said they're both difficult. But a depressed person already has a headstart on giving up desire, right? We don't feel much pleasure already.
God damn that was some strong coffee. Kept me up for like eight hours last night. I probably got less than one hour of sleep and I still don't feel tired.
All because I had two cups of coffee before 3 PM.
All because I had two cups of coffee before 3 PM.
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Sorry. I don't know what I'm supposed to say. There are a lot of things I want to say but I can't. I have to go now. Sorry.
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Fuck everything.
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>>283608
Precisely.
Precisely.
>>283596
sage isnt always an attack on ITT, sometimes it just means its not important enuf 2 bump over
sage isnt always an attack on ITT, sometimes it just means its not important enuf 2 bump over
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follow me through the underground
and i will sing you a sweet song of sorrow
and i will sing you a sweet song of sorrow
>>283611
it's a passive aggressive attack. Otherwise why would you even bother replying to that thread?
it's a passive aggressive attack. Otherwise why would you even bother replying to that thread?
>>283614
Because it's a feminine, passive aggressive way of communicating you don't like the thread and it also adds a post toward the bump limit.
Because it's a feminine, passive aggressive way of communicating you don't like the thread and it also adds a post toward the bump limit.
>>283613
As they say some just sage because it’s a minor correction or post that isn’t important enough for people to see bumped
Considerate based pro social wizzer behavior not succubi passive aggressive, thoughtful wizard neuroticism sages are polite
As they say some just sage because it’s a minor correction or post that isn’t important enough for people to see bumped
Considerate based pro social wizzer behavior not succubi passive aggressive, thoughtful wizard neuroticism sages are polite
I'm never going to stop feeling insecure about my intelligence. I call myself a fucking idiot over and over in my head every day. Anytime someone shows themselves to be intellectually superior to me it's like slamming my teeth into the concrete.
>>283625
That person is unusually clean-looking despite being in such an unclean environment. How do they bathe with garbage bags in the bathtub and a giant hole in the bathroom's wall that allows strangers to peek inside? Why does the tub even have a curtain? Why is there unused toilet paper in there?
That person is unusually clean-looking despite being in such an unclean environment. How do they bathe with garbage bags in the bathtub and a giant hole in the bathroom's wall that allows strangers to peek inside? Why does the tub even have a curtain? Why is there unused toilet paper in there?
another stress to take
another suffering to go through
another pain to endure
another struggle to carry on
i'm getting really fed up with this. to the point it doesn't even feel bad anymore, it just complete void of mind and will.
another suffering to go through
another pain to endure
another struggle to carry on
i'm getting really fed up with this. to the point it doesn't even feel bad anymore, it just complete void of mind and will.
Hallucinations are doing the thing again in which they show me a naked female but use a male voice and then randomly switch to showing me a naked male.
>>283668
Have you tried praying? I'm not trying to be condescending or anything, but prayer has helped me in my life. I fully admit that it can't solve all your problems (I'm in depgen as proof)
Have you tried praying? I'm not trying to be condescending or anything, but prayer has helped me in my life. I fully admit that it can't solve all your problems (I'm in depgen as proof)
>>283673
I think that "God" just plain hates humans for some reason and that this God didn't actually create humans and isn't exactly omnipotent per se. Like God was just exploring existence one day and stumbled across humans and was like, "what funny little creatures. I should fuck with them!"
I think that "God" just plain hates humans for some reason and that this God didn't actually create humans and isn't exactly omnipotent per se. Like God was just exploring existence one day and stumbled across humans and was like, "what funny little creatures. I should fuck with them!"
>>283671
you need antipsychotic medication, not prayer. Keep trying different medicines until one works.
you need antipsychotic medication, not prayer. Keep trying different medicines until one works.
>>283686
i don't care if im not a doctor but i heard anti-psychotics can really fuck someone up long term way worse then anti-depressants or anti anxiety medication, i never met one antipsychotic people whos happy and feels normal.
i don't care if im not a doctor but i heard anti-psychotics can really fuck someone up long term way worse then anti-depressants or anti anxiety medication, i never met one antipsychotic people whos happy and feels normal.
do you think posting about your internal (bad) experiences makes a difference? i've lately been haunted by an impression that it's all either appeasing your self-pity or seeking an emotional support which obviously doesn't dwell on imageboards (sure, you can receive a bunch of answers but they can hardly be termed 'emotional support'). both scenarios seem to be a complete waste of time and energy. this waste in my experience results in a shortening of attention span and increase in mood instability. and yet i'm writing this. a convenient ellipsis: (…)
>>283693
>do you think posting about your internal (bad) experiences makes a difference?
It's kind of like taking a drink of cold water after eating something spicy. It provides a kind of temporary relief, which is better than no relief.
>do you think posting about your internal (bad) experiences makes a difference?
It's kind of like taking a drink of cold water after eating something spicy. It provides a kind of temporary relief, which is better than no relief.
>>283693
I think it is helpful. Sometimes I even just write out posts that I don't end up posting and it is helpful because it helps you reflect. It is rare that someone will offer something useful in response to what you have to say but just saying it is worth the effort because you can organize your thoughts.
I think it is helpful. Sometimes I even just write out posts that I don't end up posting and it is helpful because it helps you reflect. It is rare that someone will offer something useful in response to what you have to say but just saying it is worth the effort because you can organize your thoughts.
Therapists have this weirdly annoying way of sedating you while talking so that you don't snap at them when you realize they're ripping you off and it drives me nuts because I know that there's no easy way to combat this other than to simply stop going to therapy and accept the fact that they will never refund me.
>>283704
Glad I used medicaid when I was a teen for therapy and god that was a waste of time, the therapist ending up being rude in the end anyways with my father hating her for disrespecting veterans day. Fucking hate these scamming ez life faggots man, it was all a sham, only way to fix your problems is by having lots of your time to yourself and to heal on your own.
Glad I used medicaid when I was a teen for therapy and god that was a waste of time, the therapist ending up being rude in the end anyways with my father hating her for disrespecting veterans day. Fucking hate these scamming ez life faggots man, it was all a sham, only way to fix your problems is by having lots of your time to yourself and to heal on your own.
Can't tell if my autism got worse with age, or it's mental illness, or I just don't care with fitting in + my autism. I seem to grow further and further apart from normies as I age
>>283722
>only way to fix your problems is by having lots of your time to yourself and to heal on your own
Fag and wrong.
Only way to fix "your" problems is to alter the environment through effort.
"Internal state" is entirely dependent on your surroundings.
Stoic cuckolds not need apply.
>only way to fix your problems is by having lots of your time to yourself and to heal on your own
Fag and wrong.
Only way to fix "your" problems is to alter the environment through effort.
"Internal state" is entirely dependent on your surroundings.
Stoic cuckolds not need apply.
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I feel so lonely. No one understands me or cares really and I am not blaming anyone because I'm too weird and because everyone has enough of their own problems to deal with. No one is going to be reading several pages of the life story of a stranger online and even less people have the knowledge and empathy to say anything specific and not the generic advice.
I just wish I had like a personal customer support rep assigned to me who knew me my whole life, knows my medical history and genetics and fully understands me and every problem I complain about and has just the right advice or calming words to offer to me. I have to fulfill this role to myself but telling things myself just doesn't feel as effective especially when I have no confidence.
I just wish I had like a personal customer support rep assigned to me who knew me my whole life, knows my medical history and genetics and fully understands me and every problem I complain about and has just the right advice or calming words to offer to me. I have to fulfill this role to myself but telling things myself just doesn't feel as effective especially when I have no confidence.
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>>283749
>I just wish I had like a personal customer support rep assigned to me who knew me my whole life
Computer was always there for you Wizzie.
>I just wish I had like a personal customer support rep assigned to me who knew me my whole life
Computer was always there for you Wizzie.
>>283753
the computer betrayed me in so many ways
people online are soulless shitposters
websites become unusable with annoying webdesign and ads
get tech issues that make no sense
the computer betrayed me in so many ways
people online are soulless shitposters
websites become unusable with annoying webdesign and ads
get tech issues that make no sense
>>283755
Have distinct desktops for each task.
I own 2 Windows XPs. ( one purely for vidya, anime, the other for recording at maximized potential )
1 Windows 10 ( 1709 Build ) desktop OFFLINE just for anything Windows XP can´t handle.
..And a shitty laptop with an updated spyware 10 just for internet.
Play smart.
Have distinct desktops for each task.
I own 2 Windows XPs. ( one purely for vidya, anime, the other for recording at maximized potential )
1 Windows 10 ( 1709 Build ) desktop OFFLINE just for anything Windows XP can´t handle.
..And a shitty laptop with an updated spyware 10 just for internet.
Play smart.
>last time I visited my father in early-2020; he lived in a homeless shelter with his wife and told me that they didn't allow visitors inside
>sometime in 2021 or 2022; I send my father a text message telling him happy birthday and father's day because both dates are sorta' close to each other
>I also tell him that I love him very much and to take care of himself
>shortly after; I get a text message from his wife telling me that I'm a terrible person, terrible son, and that I'm not even a man
I haven't bothered to contact my father since then and I can already tell that I will get the news one day that he's been long dead and buried and it's gonna' be like that Adam Sandler movie "Click". Hell, the voices in my head regularly tell me, "may he rest in peace."
>sometime in 2021 or 2022; I send my father a text message telling him happy birthday and father's day because both dates are sorta' close to each other
>I also tell him that I love him very much and to take care of himself
>shortly after; I get a text message from his wife telling me that I'm a terrible person, terrible son, and that I'm not even a man
I haven't bothered to contact my father since then and I can already tell that I will get the news one day that he's been long dead and buried and it's gonna' be like that Adam Sandler movie "Click". Hell, the voices in my head regularly tell me, "may he rest in peace."
Being kept in a psych ward is actually surprisingly expensive nowadays, even if you're just kept in there for 72 hours. Thousands of dollars just to be given three meals a day and a bed to sleep on that you would've had at home anyway. All because I was honest with my therapist about the voices in my head telling me to kill people.
>>283767
>All because I was honest with my therapist about the voices in my head telling me to kill people.
Retard move. But you knew that, right?
>h-h-help me, p-p-please!
Like a succubus…shameful.
>All because I was honest with my therapist about the voices in my head telling me to kill people.
Retard move. But you knew that, right?
>h-h-help me, p-p-please!
Like a succubus…shameful.
>>283771
Because you were crying about your problems to a therapist, like a fag. I dunno. Seems obvious. succubi and children think the world cares about their problems, men understand they're in a void and the only option is endure or die. So…
Because you were crying about your problems to a therapist, like a fag. I dunno. Seems obvious. succubi and children think the world cares about their problems, men understand they're in a void and the only option is endure or die. So…
>>283313
Lost access to the school email, can't read the material I've been sent. To make it worse, I confused the material of one subject with another. I spent 20 minutes trying to think of an explanation, but there isn't really one. I'm just a retard, that failed special ed school. Now the person at the high school will hate me, as well as the teachers. I'm going to go to a mental hospital later today, because I want to kill myself so much and I made everything worse
Lost access to the school email, can't read the material I've been sent. To make it worse, I confused the material of one subject with another. I spent 20 minutes trying to think of an explanation, but there isn't really one. I'm just a retard, that failed special ed school. Now the person at the high school will hate me, as well as the teachers. I'm going to go to a mental hospital later today, because I want to kill myself so much and I made everything worse
>>283313
Well, I just finished texting with the pedagogue. The mistake was so dumb that she told me to contact the teachers myself and explain why I have to not show up. Maybe she even thinks I'm lying. I don't know. I told my mom yesterday that I need to go to a mental hospital. I'm going to go there today. I hope they keep me for a while
Well, I just finished texting with the pedagogue. The mistake was so dumb that she told me to contact the teachers myself and explain why I have to not show up. Maybe she even thinks I'm lying. I don't know. I told my mom yesterday that I need to go to a mental hospital. I'm going to go there today. I hope they keep me for a while
>>283780
Going to a mental hospital is unrelated to this. I wasn't even aware I confused the two subjects prior to this morning. Just another reminder that, maybe, just maybe, I should give up on life already and take the hint
Going to a mental hospital is unrelated to this. I wasn't even aware I confused the two subjects prior to this morning. Just another reminder that, maybe, just maybe, I should give up on life already and take the hint
I repeat to myself "I will rope soon" and "none of it matters", while I lay on this mattress, too scared to actually do anything. What can I call this? Perpetual retardation?
No matter what I do the thick, heavy brick still remains in my head leaving me unable to concentrate or think or care. It eases if I do nothing a few days and then resort to occupations that can approximately be called hobbies. But once I'm back to life it just turns me off, rendering me extremely sick and nonfunctional.
It feels like time is passing so much faster lately. I read somewhere that it was one of the first, most subtle signs of dementia. Ever since I got fucked from taking the covid vaccine I can tell my vascular health is not the same, and sometimes I find myself unable to focus my sight. I guess I'll be wandering the streets in a few months or years. Uh…
>>283786
>vaccine
is it really so bad? can i safely attribute all of my woes to taking it a few years earlier?
>vaccine
is it really so bad? can i safely attribute all of my woes to taking it a few years earlier?
>>283788
No, the vaccine itself really isn't that bad. He is probably experiencing anxiety which is causing the symptoms he is experiencing. If you are the type that is susceptible to being brainwashed by random shit you hear about online then it is very easy to fall into the crowd that says the vaccines are dangerous and become beset by anxiety. Frankly I can empathize to some degree because I finally caught the actual virus itself and that does waaay more damage than the vaccine and really can fuck with the brain and lungs, circulatory system, and a bunch of other shit. I think I have long covid too, I am still not over it. It is definitely causing me to be anxious over my health.
No, the vaccine itself really isn't that bad. He is probably experiencing anxiety which is causing the symptoms he is experiencing. If you are the type that is susceptible to being brainwashed by random shit you hear about online then it is very easy to fall into the crowd that says the vaccines are dangerous and become beset by anxiety. Frankly I can empathize to some degree because I finally caught the actual virus itself and that does waaay more damage than the vaccine and really can fuck with the brain and lungs, circulatory system, and a bunch of other shit. I think I have long covid too, I am still not over it. It is definitely causing me to be anxious over my health.
>>283794
>yes i have long covid and it's definitely not the vaxx
>i believe in this long covid stuff and not vax damage
trollpls
>yes i have long covid and it's definitely not the vaxx
>i believe in this long covid stuff and not vax damage
trollpls
love baiting the succubi that browse here in the shadows with something xtremely misogynistic even though i don't believe in it. rose petal pill
>>283794
>No, the vaccine itself really isn't that bad
That was proven otherwise by sever large medical institutions and also admitted by the vax's manufacurers.
>He is probably experiencing anxiety
He's probably not a succubus.
>brainwashed by random shit you hear about online
Nothing to do with mainstream news and restrictive government mandates is "random shit"
>I can empathize to some degree because I finally caught the actual virus itself and that does waaay more damage than the vaccine
The virus is absolutely harmless unless you're imuno-compromized, whicch you are given your vax status.
>long covid
Doesn't exist.
>It is definitely causing me to be anxious over my health.
You're either a pantywaist or a succubus.
>No, the vaccine itself really isn't that bad
That was proven otherwise by sever large medical institutions and also admitted by the vax's manufacurers.
>He is probably experiencing anxiety
He's probably not a succubus.
>brainwashed by random shit you hear about online
Nothing to do with mainstream news and restrictive government mandates is "random shit"
>I can empathize to some degree because I finally caught the actual virus itself and that does waaay more damage than the vaccine
The virus is absolutely harmless unless you're imuno-compromized, whicch you are given your vax status.
>long covid
Doesn't exist.
>It is definitely causing me to be anxious over my health.
You're either a pantywaist or a succubus.
guys, wiz all of the respect i've developed towards you, but i'm not asking your conspiracy theories. is there any trustworthy evidence that would label covid vaccine as dangerous or not? there are vaccines you take as a child against illnesses which are real scary and i'd rather endure a goddamn injection than risk catching the real thing. so my opinion on vaccines is not determinant.
>>283798
re; the vaccines you had as a child –
The vaccines you had as a child had mercury and aluminium in them, it's heavy metals like that which cause a host of problems, particularly autism which they flat out denied. They took these heavy metals out of the vaccines about 20 years ago, just so they couldn't be blamed for wrongdoing, if you're looking for a source, I recommend:
https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/32544722/
re; the covid vaccines
Very recently:
Canada Health got biotech companies like Pfizer and Moderna to publish what mechanism their Covid Vaccines use, turns out it transcripts mRNA into your cells (thus changing your DNA), Pfizer are admitting outright that it's likely to cause myocarditis now, and they used a carrier associated with another virus, which used to be used in the case of Polio, but was banned because it caused mega cancer.
Nobody cares however.
re; the vaccines you had as a child –
The vaccines you had as a child had mercury and aluminium in them, it's heavy metals like that which cause a host of problems, particularly autism which they flat out denied. They took these heavy metals out of the vaccines about 20 years ago, just so they couldn't be blamed for wrongdoing, if you're looking for a source, I recommend:
https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/32544722/
re; the covid vaccines
Very recently:
Canada Health got biotech companies like Pfizer and Moderna to publish what mechanism their Covid Vaccines use, turns out it transcripts mRNA into your cells (thus changing your DNA), Pfizer are admitting outright that it's likely to cause myocarditis now, and they used a carrier associated with another virus, which used to be used in the case of Polio, but was banned because it caused mega cancer.
Nobody cares however.
imagine if the vaccine really did kill 80% of the population
And I could have died in a giant man made erasure
No fault of my own so even if my family survived I wouldn’t be blamed
Oh god
I am cumming
😺
And I could have died in a giant man made erasure
No fault of my own so even if my family survived I wouldn’t be blamed
Oh god
I am cumming
😺
>>283800
dammit. i've had pfizer, but don't remember once or twice. likely twice, because that's what was enforced to keep the job. time to die i guess. thanks for dismoraling me.
dammit. i've had pfizer, but don't remember once or twice. likely twice, because that's what was enforced to keep the job. time to die i guess. thanks for dismoraling me.
It hurts so much seeing places once you considered your home being lost to the normalfag hordes. Everything has to end, life goes through cycles blahblahblah but it still isn't normal for communities to die like that. Never change wizbros.
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Some blood came out my hernia the other day, maybe it'll finally kill me. We're in the last act folks.
I remember how back in 2004 people were shaming each other for not participating in the US presidential election. I voted for Clinton in 2016 and I'm not even sure why. I was probably more opinionated about politics in 2004 when I was 15 years old than I was in 2016 at the age of 27. I don't think anyone really cares about my opinion anyway.
>>283827
Back in 2004, I had delusions of being a great statesman above ideology, so left-right wasn't as important to me then. I also supported moderate positions like workfare. Anyone willing to work should have a job, but it shouldn't just be a handout. Ironic as today I'm a neet.
I was in AP US Govt class, and we got divided up into Dems and GOP teams. And I recruited a rich older succubus into the Dems, by soft-selling John Kerry's healthcare plan as not meaning more taxes for daddy's biz. But her natural capitalist brain, turned being a Democrat into a business, when she wanted us to pitch in and sell Kerry shirts. So I defected to the Republicans over $10. I suppose a HS version of not wanting to pay taxes. But I did semi sabotage them by accident by putting up Re-Select Bush posters. It was an honest mistake.
But yeah politics meant a lot less to me as a teen, when I believed I was going to be a Great Man who would rise to the top under any system. As opposed to being an adult neet, whose medicaid can be cut any election. I don't really get any welfare or bux. But the 1 thing I do get- medicaid- is valuable.
Back in 2004, I had delusions of being a great statesman above ideology, so left-right wasn't as important to me then. I also supported moderate positions like workfare. Anyone willing to work should have a job, but it shouldn't just be a handout. Ironic as today I'm a neet.
I was in AP US Govt class, and we got divided up into Dems and GOP teams. And I recruited a rich older succubus into the Dems, by soft-selling John Kerry's healthcare plan as not meaning more taxes for daddy's biz. But her natural capitalist brain, turned being a Democrat into a business, when she wanted us to pitch in and sell Kerry shirts. So I defected to the Republicans over $10. I suppose a HS version of not wanting to pay taxes. But I did semi sabotage them by accident by putting up Re-Select Bush posters. It was an honest mistake.
But yeah politics meant a lot less to me as a teen, when I believed I was going to be a Great Man who would rise to the top under any system. As opposed to being an adult neet, whose medicaid can be cut any election. I don't really get any welfare or bux. But the 1 thing I do get- medicaid- is valuable.
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It feels like it's getting crazier out there. Everyone, and I mean literally everyone is on drugs or prescription "mental health" medication. Everyone has given up on life. What the fuck is going on?
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>>283837
When the fuck will it get better? This is ridiculous, there's always a new problem every month and my country is apparently turning into a cartoonish evil empire.
When the fuck will it get better? This is ridiculous, there's always a new problem every month and my country is apparently turning into a cartoonish evil empire.
>>283849
I don't know even know why I take my meds at this point, probably for anxiety, they don't help as much. Don't know why society turning into me, a depressed given up freak.
I don't know even know why I take my meds at this point, probably for anxiety, they don't help as much. Don't know why society turning into me, a depressed given up freak.
Finally someplace to vent. Don't bother reading.
Life is fuck, nothing ever changes for better. Just when I thought I had taken hold of divine legs and I would have peace of mind for once in my life THEY FUCKING RETURN. And only when I began picking up pieces they appear. Is it so fucking hard to leave me alone? I never asked for this, I never asked for anybody to cling onto me. Whenever they see how much positive force I have so they come, like moths they come in swarm to extinguish litlle light I have before it turns into something beatiful, something that won't be affected by them, after I move on. I old animal is back, once again I will at all times feel threatened, fully aware of my surroundings. Always stiff, always attentive with only thoughts being surrounded around fight or flight. No more normal life ever I see for what this wolrd is. This is hell, it wouldn't make sense otherwise.
Life is fuck, nothing ever changes for better. Just when I thought I had taken hold of divine legs and I would have peace of mind for once in my life THEY FUCKING RETURN. And only when I began picking up pieces they appear. Is it so fucking hard to leave me alone? I never asked for this, I never asked for anybody to cling onto me. Whenever they see how much positive force I have so they come, like moths they come in swarm to extinguish litlle light I have before it turns into something beatiful, something that won't be affected by them, after I move on. I old animal is back, once again I will at all times feel threatened, fully aware of my surroundings. Always stiff, always attentive with only thoughts being surrounded around fight or flight. No more normal life ever I see for what this wolrd is. This is hell, it wouldn't make sense otherwise.
i feel nothing but eternal hatred towards this life, world and every living creature (not plants) that exists on this earth. aggrhh! AGGRRRHHHH!!!
i fucking hate this, really. it really feels empty when everything you've ever had is taken away and your choice is either die or suffer utterly until you – surprise – die. fucking shit. i wish this world burn. i wish earth finally split apart and ended this fucking wicked hell
i fucking hate this, really. it really feels empty when everything you've ever had is taken away and your choice is either die or suffer utterly until you – surprise – die. fucking shit. i wish this world burn. i wish earth finally split apart and ended this fucking wicked hell
Hold up I think that the caffeine is just barely starting to kick in because I'm rewatching Beetlejuice and am finding it a lot more enjoyable than I thought I would when the movie started.
another night another grind
at this point my wordlist is probably over. nothing left but the hollow hate towards this world.
at this point my wordlist is probably over. nothing left but the hollow hate towards this world.
>>283869
Yes anon. it's maddening how every little distraction I had has been taken away, and anything good remaining, sort of like the last tiny particles of a drug in the bottom of a pouch, burned away leaving nothing. Life will not let us distract ourselves. EVERY piece of escapism and cope will be hunted down and destroyed. It's as if life says "Oh this? no no no, it prevents you from feeling BARE REALITY, this will not do". Let it FUCKING END ALREADY JESUS CHRIIIIIIIIISTT
Yes anon. it's maddening how every little distraction I had has been taken away, and anything good remaining, sort of like the last tiny particles of a drug in the bottom of a pouch, burned away leaving nothing. Life will not let us distract ourselves. EVERY piece of escapism and cope will be hunted down and destroyed. It's as if life says "Oh this? no no no, it prevents you from feeling BARE REALITY, this will not do". Let it FUCKING END ALREADY JESUS CHRIIIIIIIIISTT
>>283800
I call bullshit on the Health Canada thing. After looking into it on their website for more info, it seems they explicitly state: "it doesn't interact with your DNA or change it in any way" regarding mRNA vaccines, which seems to contradict what you are saying quite strongly (why would they get them reveal this only to deny it). The theoretical mechanism of mRNA transcription used by Pfizer and Moderna vaccines was described quite early-on as I recall. Those vaccines definitely can cause myocarditis, though - you're right to mention that.
I call bullshit on the Health Canada thing. After looking into it on their website for more info, it seems they explicitly state: "it doesn't interact with your DNA or change it in any way" regarding mRNA vaccines, which seems to contradict what you are saying quite strongly (why would they get them reveal this only to deny it). The theoretical mechanism of mRNA transcription used by Pfizer and Moderna vaccines was described quite early-on as I recall. Those vaccines definitely can cause myocarditis, though - you're right to mention that.
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The sadness will last forever.
Been 20 years since I started thinking about suicide
And I have had good days and done things since then
But I am not thankful for any of it
I would have been fine never experiencing any of it
Dying when I was a teenager
I really wouldn’t have regretted it at all
And I have had good days and done things since then
But I am not thankful for any of it
I would have been fine never experiencing any of it
Dying when I was a teenager
I really wouldn’t have regretted it at all
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It's remarkable how many of my sessions with various of my mental health care providers (both psychiatrists and therapists alike) have been so similar to what is depicted in satire, comedies, parodies, spoofs, etc.
Oddly: the therapist from Grand Theft Auto V actually comes off as being somewhat friendlier than many of my mental health care providers.
All the more annoying is this insistence that I sometimes get from some people that therapists are somehow "better" than psychiatrists. It's sort of true, in a way… but not by much.
Oddly: the therapist from Grand Theft Auto V actually comes off as being somewhat friendlier than many of my mental health care providers.
All the more annoying is this insistence that I sometimes get from some people that therapists are somehow "better" than psychiatrists. It's sort of true, in a way… but not by much.
>>283883
I personally knew a somewhat high up child psychologist, not quite A tier fame but somewhat up there, and his home life was a mess. He had his daughter and son whacked out on ADHD meds because they couldn't admit they just not that intelligent and struggling at school for that reason. He and his wife sent one child away to boarding school for fighting, and threatened another with it constantly. He's effectively left his wife behind in another country from him, and she is crying in her home all the time lonely, as he works overseas and most definitely has a mistress.
I just can't imagine taking their advice seriously when I seen how he lived his life. He has a family life that can't really be considered healthy and normal, to the ideal expected for someone that specializes with children.
After being arrested or whatever, I've been sent to see a few psychologists after like 8 months…And they just passively sit there expecting me to make conversation, and about what? They seemed nonchalant about the whole thing, and let me decide if I wanted to come back (I never did).
I think they somewhat know it's a scam, the field over-promises, and most of their patients have inherent problems that can only be mitigated somewhat. And like with police officers and anyone who works for intelligence agencies, the profession attracts people for a yearning for control and to snoop into the lives of others.
I genuinely think there's no true insight to be discovered from them for most problems. I had someone added online for coom shit, who paid to see a therapist because he wanted to date and had autism. It didn't work out for him. I think they might be okay for specific issues, like social anxiety, or an aversion to flying. But generalized things like depression, or untreatable personality disorders like BPD, you're literally better off not wasting the money.
The money is the other thing. All the money the government funnels into psychologist's and mental health worker's pockets could go directly into the mentally ill people's pockets for a greater mitigation of their problems. Poverty is the problem that exacerbates mental health, it's not having nobody to vent to about your problems for an hour.
I personally knew a somewhat high up child psychologist, not quite A tier fame but somewhat up there, and his home life was a mess. He had his daughter and son whacked out on ADHD meds because they couldn't admit they just not that intelligent and struggling at school for that reason. He and his wife sent one child away to boarding school for fighting, and threatened another with it constantly. He's effectively left his wife behind in another country from him, and she is crying in her home all the time lonely, as he works overseas and most definitely has a mistress.
I just can't imagine taking their advice seriously when I seen how he lived his life. He has a family life that can't really be considered healthy and normal, to the ideal expected for someone that specializes with children.
After being arrested or whatever, I've been sent to see a few psychologists after like 8 months…And they just passively sit there expecting me to make conversation, and about what? They seemed nonchalant about the whole thing, and let me decide if I wanted to come back (I never did).
I think they somewhat know it's a scam, the field over-promises, and most of their patients have inherent problems that can only be mitigated somewhat. And like with police officers and anyone who works for intelligence agencies, the profession attracts people for a yearning for control and to snoop into the lives of others.
I genuinely think there's no true insight to be discovered from them for most problems. I had someone added online for coom shit, who paid to see a therapist because he wanted to date and had autism. It didn't work out for him. I think they might be okay for specific issues, like social anxiety, or an aversion to flying. But generalized things like depression, or untreatable personality disorders like BPD, you're literally better off not wasting the money.
The money is the other thing. All the money the government funnels into psychologist's and mental health worker's pockets could go directly into the mentally ill people's pockets for a greater mitigation of their problems. Poverty is the problem that exacerbates mental health, it's not having nobody to vent to about your problems for an hour.
another day i am still fey
had two very nice dreams. in first i was in control of the shit, in the second i was living back in the day when everything was fine.
had two very nice dreams. in first i was in control of the shit, in the second i was living back in the day when everything was fine.
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This will be a mindless rant at best, you don't have to read it. I don't really have anybody in my life that cares anymore. Maybe you can pull something out of it, like any observations you have about normie behavior. Input is even appreciated.
I've decidely quit my job after they gave me under a hour's notice when changing my shifts for the week, they changed it at the last second to accomodate another body that worked there, amongst other things, in this position I was rudely treated and antagonized daily within the second day of starting there. I am talking about another realm of bullying and abuse, this spanning 6 months, from almost everybody that worked there. I learned to hold my own and even got into a fight with a person there and surprisingly it wasn't actioned on because I know how to do my fucking job. The job was incredibly hard at times and laborous, very busy, some of the comments I received really make me question humanity, I saw the job as some retributional punishment from God for my sins, it was that bad compared to what I've been accustom to.
What's funny to me is that I was emailed by the manager asking why I didn't turn up to my shift today and whether I am okay, I am debating whether or not to even give him a straight answer, let alone my notice. You can behave so evil to someone and then pretend like you care just to absolve yourself from some of the guilt of the months of maltreatment. As if it's washing your hands. I am not saying be a nice manager, because it'll just get people taking advantage but if you can't be nice just throw some orders and don't talk to me.
I am so sick of having to do this, it's every job that I walk into I am immediately confronted by abuse and acrimony, this is gangstalking tier shit. I don't know what it is at this point. Do they think I'm rude because of my autism? Or can they just sense a complete outsider? Is it just the nature of the world?
You try so hard in this life just to get your work done, and to get some money behind you, but normies are like sharks thirsty to see people miserable. The abuse I got from everybody on my second day of working there, it really was incredible. A part inside me died that day because I had something else I was dealing with as well.
I needed the money at the time, and I really can't complain with how well it paid, but I have my regrets and wish I never worked there, it's just filled me with so much dread and hate inside. Not to mention I haven't had any friendships for sometime. There is actually no one for me in this life, I really have a bad habit for being around some of the shittest people as humanly possible.
Still it's not all that bad, it's not deterring me from looking for something else. What a journey it's been just thanking it's over.
I've decidely quit my job after they gave me under a hour's notice when changing my shifts for the week, they changed it at the last second to accomodate another body that worked there, amongst other things, in this position I was rudely treated and antagonized daily within the second day of starting there. I am talking about another realm of bullying and abuse, this spanning 6 months, from almost everybody that worked there. I learned to hold my own and even got into a fight with a person there and surprisingly it wasn't actioned on because I know how to do my fucking job. The job was incredibly hard at times and laborous, very busy, some of the comments I received really make me question humanity, I saw the job as some retributional punishment from God for my sins, it was that bad compared to what I've been accustom to.
What's funny to me is that I was emailed by the manager asking why I didn't turn up to my shift today and whether I am okay, I am debating whether or not to even give him a straight answer, let alone my notice. You can behave so evil to someone and then pretend like you care just to absolve yourself from some of the guilt of the months of maltreatment. As if it's washing your hands. I am not saying be a nice manager, because it'll just get people taking advantage but if you can't be nice just throw some orders and don't talk to me.
I am so sick of having to do this, it's every job that I walk into I am immediately confronted by abuse and acrimony, this is gangstalking tier shit. I don't know what it is at this point. Do they think I'm rude because of my autism? Or can they just sense a complete outsider? Is it just the nature of the world?
You try so hard in this life just to get your work done, and to get some money behind you, but normies are like sharks thirsty to see people miserable. The abuse I got from everybody on my second day of working there, it really was incredible. A part inside me died that day because I had something else I was dealing with as well.
I needed the money at the time, and I really can't complain with how well it paid, but I have my regrets and wish I never worked there, it's just filled me with so much dread and hate inside. Not to mention I haven't had any friendships for sometime. There is actually no one for me in this life, I really have a bad habit for being around some of the shittest people as humanly possible.
Still it's not all that bad, it's not deterring me from looking for something else. What a journey it's been just thanking it's over.
mentally ill people are annoying and should kill themselves. some mentally ill nigger is spamming mu
>>283889
I can relate a lot wizzie. What I find in life being the autistic sort and going between shit jobs is just how fucking miserable normal people are. They are really no different to posters on here a lot of them. I know one that's a manager at the sort of place you're describing, and she's whacked out on anti-depressants to even cope.
And what gets me is why they're even like this. They're normalfags, they can be living amazing lives. Why do they squalor in misery and gossip? Why do they needlessly make their workplace such a den of vipers where even they are miserable all the time? There's to some extent them targeting you as an outsider, but from what I've noticed over the years the same shit is chipping away at them, and they're even more dead inside than you.
That's blackpilled me more than any crab shit I've ever read. Seeing people in those miserable workplaces, gossiping about the same pointless drama, pulling each other down like crabs in a bucket.
Just send in a notice and say you felt poorly treated the entire time you were there. Then go in and say "I'm gone in two weeks, don't bother" to any serious complaints. idk, or just don't turn up anymore. In one, two, three years time it'll just be a long gone shit job and a distant memory.
I can relate a lot wizzie. What I find in life being the autistic sort and going between shit jobs is just how fucking miserable normal people are. They are really no different to posters on here a lot of them. I know one that's a manager at the sort of place you're describing, and she's whacked out on anti-depressants to even cope.
And what gets me is why they're even like this. They're normalfags, they can be living amazing lives. Why do they squalor in misery and gossip? Why do they needlessly make their workplace such a den of vipers where even they are miserable all the time? There's to some extent them targeting you as an outsider, but from what I've noticed over the years the same shit is chipping away at them, and they're even more dead inside than you.
That's blackpilled me more than any crab shit I've ever read. Seeing people in those miserable workplaces, gossiping about the same pointless drama, pulling each other down like crabs in a bucket.
Just send in a notice and say you felt poorly treated the entire time you were there. Then go in and say "I'm gone in two weeks, don't bother" to any serious complaints. idk, or just don't turn up anymore. In one, two, three years time it'll just be a long gone shit job and a distant memory.
Finally read No Longer Human by Osamu Dazai. Didn't think much of it, not enough of a retard.
>>283897
I find that book pretty overrated, just felt like a personal blog of a trust fund lucky person just simply not satisfied with life.
I find that book pretty overrated, just felt like a personal blog of a trust fund lucky person just simply not satisfied with life.
Losers have been hounded off the internet, it's really amazing how the internet has been taken over. Most of the old users of the internet can't show their face without being insulted or mocked. There's now millions of anxious depressed kids who feel lonely and haven't had sex, and they have no sympathy or solidarity with losers, they mock them and abuse them because they've been raised by social media for their entire conscious existence.
The old internet actually had losers, 4chan was a popular website where everyone assumed everyone else was a nerdy loser without a girlfriend, that was really how things were. Ugly, fat, weird looking dudes could post their pictures and they wouldn't get pounced on in this modern way, they could post silly or weird photos in forums without being abused by the normie mob.Yes there were memes mocking people, but there did exist a culturew where losers and outcasts could feel at home.
I was watching a youtuber who reviewed some form of electronics, and his wife used to help him on camera. So many people insulted her and mocked her for her looks, she decided to stop, and he stopped youtube. Even small, niche, hobbies are completely dominated by normies putting people down.
Now, there's nowhere. There did used to exist a place online where losers weren't constantly hounded and abused. Normies ruined the internet, and wizchan is much more normie than the old internet, full of these kids raised on modern social media. There was a better world and it was destroyed.
It can't come back, but there was a better online world, there really was.
The old internet actually had losers, 4chan was a popular website where everyone assumed everyone else was a nerdy loser without a girlfriend, that was really how things were. Ugly, fat, weird looking dudes could post their pictures and they wouldn't get pounced on in this modern way, they could post silly or weird photos in forums without being abused by the normie mob.Yes there were memes mocking people, but there did exist a culturew where losers and outcasts could feel at home.
I was watching a youtuber who reviewed some form of electronics, and his wife used to help him on camera. So many people insulted her and mocked her for her looks, she decided to stop, and he stopped youtube. Even small, niche, hobbies are completely dominated by normies putting people down.
Now, there's nowhere. There did used to exist a place online where losers weren't constantly hounded and abused. Normies ruined the internet, and wizchan is much more normie than the old internet, full of these kids raised on modern social media. There was a better world and it was destroyed.
It can't come back, but there was a better online world, there really was.
>>283907
It's weird to me how I'll browse some obscure chan and i'll see the same copy and paste, normgroid assembly line opinions I see on 4kids. It's like normalfags fan out like a swarm of locusts, looking for any community where they can squat and shit out platitudes. It's a mode of being for them, an instinct. There must be platitudes. There must be shitty advice.
It's weird to me how I'll browse some obscure chan and i'll see the same copy and paste, normgroid assembly line opinions I see on 4kids. It's like normalfags fan out like a swarm of locusts, looking for any community where they can squat and shit out platitudes. It's a mode of being for them, an instinct. There must be platitudes. There must be shitty advice.
>>283909
People have been telling me that since before 2012, but then 2012 came and went, and the 2012 Mayan apocalypse thing never happened.
People have been telling me that since before 2012, but then 2012 came and went, and the 2012 Mayan apocalypse thing never happened.
>>283907
Your post made me think of that fat bearded guy with glasses from /v/, yes that one. There was an updated picture where he claims he is still fat and virgin. That was years sgo though, but it cheered me up. All I could think was s genuine, heartfelt "one of us, one of us!" Oh and he seemed pretty bitter.
The thing with zoomers is they were hypersocialized during their formstive years. There's no going back from that. Every single of their opinions and thoughts must be distilled and come from a larger group of people.
Unfortunately there really is strength in numbers, an individual, no matter how wise and smart he is, is no match for angry mobs with pitchforks.
Your post made me think of that fat bearded guy with glasses from /v/, yes that one. There was an updated picture where he claims he is still fat and virgin. That was years sgo though, but it cheered me up. All I could think was s genuine, heartfelt "one of us, one of us!" Oh and he seemed pretty bitter.
The thing with zoomers is they were hypersocialized during their formstive years. There's no going back from that. Every single of their opinions and thoughts must be distilled and come from a larger group of people.
Unfortunately there really is strength in numbers, an individual, no matter how wise and smart he is, is no match for angry mobs with pitchforks.
I also think zoomers cannot get into an Anonymous mindset. No. They just have to attention whore or make themselves easy to identify and even dox. Always. This wouldn't bother me if it weren't because that makes them stand out amongst people unaffected by peer pressure. If that wasn't bad enough, they take entire communities down with them in the process. Now the circle of normalfag shaming is complete, and like cancer they move onto the next target.
>>283885
It's really quite nightmarish for someone with major depressive and social anxiety disorder to end up with psychologists who literally laugh behind your back and in your face. And it's not that they were laughing with me, they're actually laughing AT me. Hell, the same psychologist who diagnosed me with those two disorders I named in the first sentence here was one of the psychologists who laughed at me. It was even the same year that I had a DNA test done and I'd found out that I actually do have a genetic predisposition to those exact disorders. So I had both hard science and soft science backing me up. Did anybody care?
Nope.
It's really quite nightmarish for someone with major depressive and social anxiety disorder to end up with psychologists who literally laugh behind your back and in your face. And it's not that they were laughing with me, they're actually laughing AT me. Hell, the same psychologist who diagnosed me with those two disorders I named in the first sentence here was one of the psychologists who laughed at me. It was even the same year that I had a DNA test done and I'd found out that I actually do have a genetic predisposition to those exact disorders. So I had both hard science and soft science backing me up. Did anybody care?
Nope.
I've reached a point in my life where I find people to be between to extremes for the most part. One of them being people easy to predict and that provide no value towards me in any way, or people that are unpredictable, high maintenance and difficult to rely on. I think I might have spent too long on my own to be able to navigate social interactions with most people easily as I once might have, and sometimes to me it feels like either of these two extremes are either so very mundane and boring, or unpredictable and it takes effort into be able to manage interactions with them.
I think this might have something to do with the fact that I've spent too long on my own and now I have caricatures in my mind about how people could behave and no matter what they do or say they fit into these boxes I've eventually become used to putting people into. Maybe it's over simplifying things too much, but I've spent so long deprived of talking to people in an engaging way that I've just completely given up on it.
I think this might have something to do with the fact that I've spent too long on my own and now I have caricatures in my mind about how people could behave and no matter what they do or say they fit into these boxes I've eventually become used to putting people into. Maybe it's over simplifying things too much, but I've spent so long deprived of talking to people in an engaging way that I've just completely given up on it.
Despite being sleep-deprived and hallucinating the last time I had jury duty (in November of 2019); I would prefer waking up tomorrow at that exact date and realizing that I have jury duty for the rest of the week than to have to wake up tomorrow with no jury duty.
THAT'S HOW MUCH I HATE 2023.
THAT'S HOW MUCH I HATE 2023.
It seems more and more people are becoming affected by YT banning them for adblock use. This is it, isn't it? This is where endstage capitalism ends the dream. From now on it's just overt and covert advertising, purchasing, consuming and making soy faces. Damn, Linux still sucks, W11 runs like ass on old hardware and new hardware is so backdored and locked down, they don't even hide it.
I want to go back, to the real world. Learn a simply trade idk maybe carpentry or general electronics repair. Live a simple life, the world moves too fast I cannot take it anymore.
I want to go back, to the real world. Learn a simply trade idk maybe carpentry or general electronics repair. Live a simple life, the world moves too fast I cannot take it anymore.
>>283937
Using tampermonkey somewhat helped with the ad problem, it stills plays ads but fast forwards them so you barely even notice, I thought it was block all the ads and that faggot warning but this is the best we got.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vKBY25r1NyI
Using tampermonkey somewhat helped with the ad problem, it stills plays ads but fast forwards them so you barely even notice, I thought it was block all the ads and that faggot warning but this is the best we got.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vKBY25r1NyI
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>>283937
>>283939
I've been out of the loop and heard just a few mentions of this new banning thing.
I have somehow circumvented their banning of adblockers, I guess! Because I use a weirdo browser called Seamonkey, and have old outdated versions of NoScript and uBlockOrigin. Seamonkey is my favorite browser but many modern web sites just don't seem to work on it, and my old outdated extensions seem to have trouble too!
So I just use Google to find videos I want, and I get a broken YT like pic related. I only get the video, never see any ads or popups. All the other YT functions are broken but I never used them anyway! It's hilarious! My oldness and refusal to keep up with the times has paid off!
>>283939
I've been out of the loop and heard just a few mentions of this new banning thing.
I have somehow circumvented their banning of adblockers, I guess! Because I use a weirdo browser called Seamonkey, and have old outdated versions of NoScript and uBlockOrigin. Seamonkey is my favorite browser but many modern web sites just don't seem to work on it, and my old outdated extensions seem to have trouble too!
So I just use Google to find videos I want, and I get a broken YT like pic related. I only get the video, never see any ads or popups. All the other YT functions are broken but I never used them anyway! It's hilarious! My oldness and refusal to keep up with the times has paid off!
>>283939
Thanks for the tip, I'm still on W7 so I got an oldass Chrome version, somehow I haven't been hit with any warning yet. But most of my browsing is done in Incognito mode, maybe it has to do with that? It sucks because I was just getting organized, sorting thousands of bookmarks and txt files with music.
>>283940
Hey hey, fellow W7 chad I see :^)
I'll look up that browser, Chrome served me well all these years performance wise, my main PC is old enough that I appreciate any performance enhancement from a webbrowser, just hoping that Seamonkey is not a cpu hog like Firefox.
I wonder if we'll see the rise of paid software solutions, something like a more Newpipe but more sophisticated. Speaking of which, my schizo sense says it was google itself who funded some of these adblock solutions. It's known they got the developer of Magisk to abandon his projects, massive conflict of interests there but he says it's all cool (lmao).
Thanks for the tip, I'm still on W7 so I got an oldass Chrome version, somehow I haven't been hit with any warning yet. But most of my browsing is done in Incognito mode, maybe it has to do with that? It sucks because I was just getting organized, sorting thousands of bookmarks and txt files with music.
>>283940
Hey hey, fellow W7 chad I see :^)
I'll look up that browser, Chrome served me well all these years performance wise, my main PC is old enough that I appreciate any performance enhancement from a webbrowser, just hoping that Seamonkey is not a cpu hog like Firefox.
I wonder if we'll see the rise of paid software solutions, something like a more Newpipe but more sophisticated. Speaking of which, my schizo sense says it was google itself who funded some of these adblock solutions. It's known they got the developer of Magisk to abandon his projects, massive conflict of interests there but he says it's all cool (lmao).
>>283937
yes it's over. do you want my advice? no you don't but i don't give a fuck so here's my advice.
do you need a laptop/pc for work? buy one that is enough for the fucking work.
do you need something for personal usage? buy fucking raspberry pi. really it will run your browser just fine i guess.
anyway that's what i'm going to do in the near future if i don't die sooner
yes it's over. do you want my advice? no you don't but i don't give a fuck so here's my advice.
do you need a laptop/pc for work? buy one that is enough for the fucking work.
do you need something for personal usage? buy fucking raspberry pi. really it will run your browser just fine i guess.
anyway that's what i'm going to do in the near future if i don't die sooner
>>283937
I am kind of glad it’s cutting me off, if the whole internet becomes subscription based I feel as though they would be doing me a favor. Free endless entertainment to us a constant tempting demon trying to eat me.
I am kind of glad it’s cutting me off, if the whole internet becomes subscription based I feel as though they would be doing me a favor. Free endless entertainment to us a constant tempting demon trying to eat me.
>>283937
There are other ways to access youtube without ads, but inevitably these too will be taken down. It's the slow process of elimination and consolidation.
And I don't think It's "Capitalism". It's just how the world works. It's like blaming capitalism for the assassination of the arch duke in 1914. People are greedy and selfish, simply how it goes.
There are other ways to access youtube without ads, but inevitably these too will be taken down. It's the slow process of elimination and consolidation.
And I don't think It's "Capitalism". It's just how the world works. It's like blaming capitalism for the assassination of the arch duke in 1914. People are greedy and selfish, simply how it goes.
>>283937
>It seems more and more people are becoming affected by YT banning them for adblock use. This is it, isn't it?
They won't ever kill adbloackers on the grounds that they'd be afflicting "accessibility" for the less-than-tech savvy and the more than averagely emotionally sensitive. All the popup is is an ad for their Premium subscription, and it can be blocked like any other. There's actually quite a legal push from some governments for AdBlockers to be officially supported by large websites,and that the code execution required to detect an adblocker is malicious and invasive on its own.
>W11 runs like ass on old hardware
There are chopped down versions which clock in a mere 2gb with fractional overhead. Win11 sucks in all forms, but if you ever do conede and get a laptop or something that requires it, you can probably get away with one of these optimized versions.
>I want to go back, to the real world.
The real world doesn't exist above a layer of digital smog. You can learn a trade, but you're not getting any clientele without a Facebook page. And Facebook only runs on the most modern browsers, which require Windows 11, which require an RTX4090 and a 60-passenger RAM bus.
>It seems more and more people are becoming affected by YT banning them for adblock use. This is it, isn't it?
They won't ever kill adbloackers on the grounds that they'd be afflicting "accessibility" for the less-than-tech savvy and the more than averagely emotionally sensitive. All the popup is is an ad for their Premium subscription, and it can be blocked like any other. There's actually quite a legal push from some governments for AdBlockers to be officially supported by large websites,and that the code execution required to detect an adblocker is malicious and invasive on its own.
>W11 runs like ass on old hardware
There are chopped down versions which clock in a mere 2gb with fractional overhead. Win11 sucks in all forms, but if you ever do conede and get a laptop or something that requires it, you can probably get away with one of these optimized versions.
>I want to go back, to the real world.
The real world doesn't exist above a layer of digital smog. You can learn a trade, but you're not getting any clientele without a Facebook page. And Facebook only runs on the most modern browsers, which require Windows 11, which require an RTX4090 and a 60-passenger RAM bus.
>>283950
>I'll look up that browser … just hoping that Seamonkey is not a cpu hog like Firefox.
I don't remember exactly how long ago I switched from Firefox to Seamonkey. I think it was at least 5 years ago.
I, too, was tired of Firefox using so many resources. Seamonkey isn't exactly meant to be "minimalist" or anything, but I find it doesn't seem as "heavy" as Firefox was/is.
I use an old laptop with only 4GB of RAM, so I gotta be a little selective with things that take up too much memory.
>fellow W7 chad I see
Heh when I finally upgraded from XP to W7 I'm pretty sure W7 was already about to be considered "outdated". Don't remember when though.
I'm just not the kind of person who keeps up with things. I'm sure one day I will have no choice but to change my OS. I'm hoping that is the day I switch to Linux or something. But knowing my passive personality, I'll probably just get a better computer and let whatever the current-Windows-is-at-that-time invade my ass and just deal with it…
>I'll look up that browser … just hoping that Seamonkey is not a cpu hog like Firefox.
I don't remember exactly how long ago I switched from Firefox to Seamonkey. I think it was at least 5 years ago.
I, too, was tired of Firefox using so many resources. Seamonkey isn't exactly meant to be "minimalist" or anything, but I find it doesn't seem as "heavy" as Firefox was/is.
I use an old laptop with only 4GB of RAM, so I gotta be a little selective with things that take up too much memory.
>fellow W7 chad I see
Heh when I finally upgraded from XP to W7 I'm pretty sure W7 was already about to be considered "outdated". Don't remember when though.
I'm just not the kind of person who keeps up with things. I'm sure one day I will have no choice but to change my OS. I'm hoping that is the day I switch to Linux or something. But knowing my passive personality, I'll probably just get a better computer and let whatever the current-Windows-is-at-that-time invade my ass and just deal with it…
>when my attorney starts talking to me as if he were my father
Life just keeps getting more and more absurd every year to the extent that I feel the need to put myself in some sort of autopilot state as I was when I was like three years old. Just sitting still and watching adults do their adult stuff that I will never be able to understand.
Life just keeps getting more and more absurd every year to the extent that I feel the need to put myself in some sort of autopilot state as I was when I was like three years old. Just sitting still and watching adults do their adult stuff that I will never be able to understand.
>>283959
Here's a concise rundown. It's been updated further since this video was published. No Xbox. No Onedrive. Just the core essentials with total compatibility with any Windows 11 (and therefore 10, 7, and XP) software.
Here's a concise rundown. It's been updated further since this video was published. No Xbox. No Onedrive. Just the core essentials with total compatibility with any Windows 11 (and therefore 10, 7, and XP) software.
>customer bitched me out because I didn't call him because I accidentally called the wrong number because I was in the middle of 3 other things
>get to do it all again tomorrow and for the rest of my life
I'm such a happy cuck!
>get to do it all again tomorrow and for the rest of my life
I'm such a happy cuck!
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I just had an INSANELY depressing revelation.
I was thinking about what I would do if I won in the lottery. And then I realized that nothing would truly make me happy because the biggest source of unhappiness is myself. I would of course be ecstatic at first, would move out, buy a nice house, buy some expensive shit I always wanted and travel but then after a while I would return to the same baseline of unhappiness because no amount of money could improve my brain.
I was thinking about what I would do if I won in the lottery. And then I realized that nothing would truly make me happy because the biggest source of unhappiness is myself. I would of course be ecstatic at first, would move out, buy a nice house, buy some expensive shit I always wanted and travel but then after a while I would return to the same baseline of unhappiness because no amount of money could improve my brain.
>>283961
Thank god that's what I need, tired of having 100 fucking softwares popping up when I turn on my computer because windows 10 is such a piece of shit.
Thank god that's what I need, tired of having 100 fucking softwares popping up when I turn on my computer because windows 10 is such a piece of shit.
>>283972
It's better to be depressed with a full belly and shelter then be happy and homeless at the risk of being mugged or attacked every night.
It's better to be depressed with a full belly and shelter then be happy and homeless at the risk of being mugged or attacked every night.
>>283972
That's not how it works though.
More stuff = more better.
I was homeless once and finally getting a warm shower and food that isn't cold soaked rice was and still is pretty badass.
I'll still bitch and moan about my tap water not tasting just right.
That's not how it works though.
More stuff = more better.
I was homeless once and finally getting a warm shower and food that isn't cold soaked rice was and still is pretty badass.
I'll still bitch and moan about my tap water not tasting just right.
>>283982
>More stuff = more better.
With money you hit your happiness cap, but if your cap is low it doesn't feel like money added much.
>More stuff = more better.
With money you hit your happiness cap, but if your cap is low it doesn't feel like money added much.
>>283329
Not the other wizzie but for me it's that I can't reconcile those two facts.
That there are really bad things but also good things in the world.
Not the other wizzie but for me it's that I can't reconcile those two facts.
That there are really bad things but also good things in the world.
>>283972
>I was thinking about what I would do if I won in the lottery. And then I realized that nothing would truly make me happy because the biggest source of unhappiness is myself. I would of course be ecstatic at first, would move out, buy a nice house, buy some expensive shit I always wanted and travel but then after a while I would return to the same
That's something I've thought about myself, the bottom line is that if you aren't able to reach any type of happiness without money, then chances are you'd likely not be very happy with money either. Most people out there fluctuate from happiness to a stable mood of not being sad either and that's what they live for the majority of time. With people like us, or at least me, I spend a long time fluctuating from depression into a normal mood and have been doing so for years, I've always thought of money as a way of enhacing one's life rather than it being the sole cause for happiness, if you're already somewhat of a happy person to begin with, you'd become happier, if you're just depressed all of the time you'd probably not end up happy. Of course, I like to imagine in my head a perfect scenario where I could manage to be well off and becoming happy as a result, but chances are it's not what would actually happen if it turned out becoming real.
>I was thinking about what I would do if I won in the lottery. And then I realized that nothing would truly make me happy because the biggest source of unhappiness is myself. I would of course be ecstatic at first, would move out, buy a nice house, buy some expensive shit I always wanted and travel but then after a while I would return to the same
That's something I've thought about myself, the bottom line is that if you aren't able to reach any type of happiness without money, then chances are you'd likely not be very happy with money either. Most people out there fluctuate from happiness to a stable mood of not being sad either and that's what they live for the majority of time. With people like us, or at least me, I spend a long time fluctuating from depression into a normal mood and have been doing so for years, I've always thought of money as a way of enhacing one's life rather than it being the sole cause for happiness, if you're already somewhat of a happy person to begin with, you'd become happier, if you're just depressed all of the time you'd probably not end up happy. Of course, I like to imagine in my head a perfect scenario where I could manage to be well off and becoming happy as a result, but chances are it's not what would actually happen if it turned out becoming real.
It's a bit fascinating how stupid the world has been getting from my perspective over the years.
On the other hand; I can see that smart people still exist and doing cool shit like landing probes on asteroids and comets and bringing samples back to Earth. The sort of people that I'll never be able to hold an intelligent conversation with, or even any conversation whatsoever lasting longer than five seconds.
Sadly, I don't find that paying a therapist $100/hr. to "talk" with every month to be particularly stimulating. Weird how even after finishing my court-mandated, year-long therapy; I don't feel any better.
On the other hand; I can see that smart people still exist and doing cool shit like landing probes on asteroids and comets and bringing samples back to Earth. The sort of people that I'll never be able to hold an intelligent conversation with, or even any conversation whatsoever lasting longer than five seconds.
Sadly, I don't find that paying a therapist $100/hr. to "talk" with every month to be particularly stimulating. Weird how even after finishing my court-mandated, year-long therapy; I don't feel any better.
>>284017
I had a different therapist place a restraining order on me in 2020.
So the judge had me go back to therapy with a new therapist after the old therapist decided to terminate my psychotherapy treatment without warning and I kept calling my old therapist to ask what went wrong.
I had a different therapist place a restraining order on me in 2020.
So the judge had me go back to therapy with a new therapist after the old therapist decided to terminate my psychotherapy treatment without warning and I kept calling my old therapist to ask what went wrong.
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>>284020
Did you hit on her? What did you do? That doesn't explain much.
Did you hit on her? What did you do? That doesn't explain much.
>>284023
NTA but only a succubus can be cold and inhumane enough to kick a man thats already down
NTA but only a succubus can be cold and inhumane enough to kick a man thats already down
>>284024
>only a succubus can be cold and inhumane enough to kick a man thats already down
I think that for the most part–it's often times my male mental health care providers that have been the most insensitive. But yeah, both male and female mental health care providers have shown a capacity to be almost equally assholish/bitchy in their own ways. And yeah, the therapist who placed a restraining order on me was female. And no, I didn't hit on her.
>only a succubus can be cold and inhumane enough to kick a man thats already down
I think that for the most part–it's often times my male mental health care providers that have been the most insensitive. But yeah, both male and female mental health care providers have shown a capacity to be almost equally assholish/bitchy in their own ways. And yeah, the therapist who placed a restraining order on me was female. And no, I didn't hit on her.
>>284025
To play devil's advocate for a bit. These types do face physical risk and do face the same types of untreatable people. If you've actually been around chronically depressed cunts you'll see that it is somewhat infectious, they sap the energy out of an environment when they start non-stop whining. It's unfortunate, but it happens. If they have friends, they'll come at them and just shout at them about their problems, until they've driven their friends away.
The callousness is in part a bit of that I think. They're worn down by having a job to treat people, having to pretend they can treat people, when what they're doing is for the most part putting bandaids on.
To play devil's advocate for a bit. These types do face physical risk and do face the same types of untreatable people. If you've actually been around chronically depressed cunts you'll see that it is somewhat infectious, they sap the energy out of an environment when they start non-stop whining. It's unfortunate, but it happens. If they have friends, they'll come at them and just shout at them about their problems, until they've driven their friends away.
The callousness is in part a bit of that I think. They're worn down by having a job to treat people, having to pretend they can treat people, when what they're doing is for the most part putting bandaids on.
that's the whole point
it holds for /you/
i'm still stateless
likely forever
go to hell
you're so miserable
and false
and disgusting
fuck you
it holds for /you/
i'm still stateless
likely forever
go to hell
you're so miserable
and false
and disgusting
fuck you
I am so fucking tired of failed normalfag cliques destroying every board I once held dear.
Shit. A lot of it is coming back to me. 2009. 2010. What shitty years they were. I should've taken the hint back then. Big fellas were trying to tell me something.
Nobody really wanted me in that Wilshire location, huh? Nor with the Staffing Solutions people? Those truck-driving people… it would've just been like it was at the mall. Right? Was he ever gonna' pay me for those CDs? I mean, within that same year? Would I really have been able to afford that tablet?
Nobody really wanted me in that Wilshire location, huh? Nor with the Staffing Solutions people? Those truck-driving people… it would've just been like it was at the mall. Right? Was he ever gonna' pay me for those CDs? I mean, within that same year? Would I really have been able to afford that tablet?
So bored that I feel physically ill. I feel nauseous. Life disgusts me. I want to vomit. Nothing satisfies my soul. There's nothing I want to do. There's nothing that could make me happy. It's 3am and I can't sleep. I want to die.
Jamais vu
tell me
is it what derealization feels like? they say it feels different. very different. but i don't know. i'm not sure.
tell me
is it what derealization feels like? they say it feels different. very different. but i don't know. i'm not sure.
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And I have two client site visits tomorrow. In addition to doing my planned tasks, I'm sure people will pull me aside to ask me to do things out of scope. Fuck my life I hate customers man.
I often wonder how much of my absurd mental disorders are due to my abusive family or my inherent fuckedupness.
Maybe I'm just a broken and my family didn't do much to alter the course of the tragedy
Maybe I'm just a broken and my family didn't do much to alter the course of the tragedy
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Clueless parenting alone I could forgive, but how they were always so upset with me, for every single little thing, I didn't fucking deserve it. I was a quiet, well-behaved kid with bursts of immaturity as any fucking kid has. What the fuck was so wrong with me, that they were always so displeased? I was lazy? It wasn't my fault. I never had a reason not to be, and never had anything to work towards. They never tried to help me figure one out, I still don't have one, and now my life's at its dead end. I might have the time to turn things around, but I lack the will, and I can read the writing on the wall from here.
They fucked me so bad, them along with every other authority figure I ever had growing up. My life is such a fucking mess because of them, solely because of them, and I'm the one who has to suffer through the whole thing. It's so unfair, it's just so unfair it makes me sick to my goddamned stomach.
I hate my fucking parents. I hate them because they hated me and I'll never know why because I can't talk to them about it because we never had and never will have that kind of relationship with each other. I wish that they would burn in hell and I just wish they had loved me and that I could love them.
They fucked me so bad, them along with every other authority figure I ever had growing up. My life is such a fucking mess because of them, solely because of them, and I'm the one who has to suffer through the whole thing. It's so unfair, it's just so unfair it makes me sick to my goddamned stomach.
I hate my fucking parents. I hate them because they hated me and I'll never know why because I can't talk to them about it because we never had and never will have that kind of relationship with each other. I wish that they would burn in hell and I just wish they had loved me and that I could love them.
>>284075
A lot of people have abuse families and they grow up to be…somewhat normal, work, and take care of themselves. I think we were the double whammy of having fucked up mental issues and genetic setbacks AND a disturbed family. Just a double negative jackpot failure. So much bad luck it's insane
A lot of people have abuse families and they grow up to be…somewhat normal, work, and take care of themselves. I think we were the double whammy of having fucked up mental issues and genetic setbacks AND a disturbed family. Just a double negative jackpot failure. So much bad luck it's insane
I mean i usually do My Best to avoid the Rotten tomatoes score of a movie before watching it so as to maintain an Open/unspoiled mind.
Lets just Say 4chan's /tv/ has other plans.
Guess I'll hace to make do with Shyamalan's new flick..
Lets just Say 4chan's /tv/ has other plans.
Guess I'll hace to make do with Shyamalan's new flick..
>>284080
Growing up around general poor people this is easy to see. Children of divorce, alchoholic abusive fathers, drugs, forced to do crimes by parents, a lot of them still manage to scrape in to normalcy. Know a legit crack baby who became a plumber, he became a drug addict and his girlfriend overdosed I think, but he is more normal than me in others eyes. My mother grew up in neglect, had no shoes, teachers mocked her for not having baths, etc etc. She still managed to get OK grades, jobs, and so on until she got sick. Yet I can barely function due to depression, and my mother tried her best to raise me but it wasn’t enough, high childhood stress environment just happened.
People can trace elements of their behaviour to childhood and parenting, but if you’re retarded level dysfunctional it’s probably something more.
Growing up around general poor people this is easy to see. Children of divorce, alchoholic abusive fathers, drugs, forced to do crimes by parents, a lot of them still manage to scrape in to normalcy. Know a legit crack baby who became a plumber, he became a drug addict and his girlfriend overdosed I think, but he is more normal than me in others eyes. My mother grew up in neglect, had no shoes, teachers mocked her for not having baths, etc etc. She still managed to get OK grades, jobs, and so on until she got sick. Yet I can barely function due to depression, and my mother tried her best to raise me but it wasn’t enough, high childhood stress environment just happened.
People can trace elements of their behaviour to childhood and parenting, but if you’re retarded level dysfunctional it’s probably something more.
>>284075
>self-pity
bad and self-destructing. the sooner you stop the sooner you find the will to do something.
>self-pity
bad and self-destructing. the sooner you stop the sooner you find the will to do something.
I think there's a tiny shard of glass stuck in my throat. That's gonna' be at least a $50 consultation and a $100 x-ray I think.
I feel as if everyone turned 50 years old when they turned 13 except for me, and I'm the only one who remained 13 even as I got to be 34.
pray to fucking god that i wake up on the streets hungry and cold instead of the 7th year of rotting in this shithole trailer.
Fuck. It was actually $100 for the consultation and $150 for a CT scan. I could only afford the consultation. They just took some blood.
Every schizoid talks about daydreaming all day, but no other schizoid talks about violent revenge fantasies. It's common with us, and I'm often filled with them.
I wish I could go back to being a kid where all my fantasies were just about me achieving stuff and elaborate mal-adaptive daydreaming. Not about getting revenge where my heartrate gets up and I feel sick.
I wish I could go back to being a kid where all my fantasies were just about me achieving stuff and elaborate mal-adaptive daydreaming. Not about getting revenge where my heartrate gets up and I feel sick.
>>284140
it amazes me people can still find value and enjoyment in life. there literally isn't anything else to do but fuck and die, everything ends and yet we're still here just living, no matter how bad shit gets.
it amazes me people can still find value and enjoyment in life. there literally isn't anything else to do but fuck and die, everything ends and yet we're still here just living, no matter how bad shit gets.
Having the longest period without depression in a while, today feels bad but I don’t know if I’m going down again. I hope I found a cure, I really do, life is so easy here, I don’t want to get back. I really just don’t want to go back.
>>284142
>It's common with us, and I'm often filled with them.
It's because you can't get people to respect your boundaries. Normalfags walk all over you, and you have no idea how to get angry in a healthy manner.
(I have the same problem)
>It's common with us, and I'm often filled with them.
It's because you can't get people to respect your boundaries. Normalfags walk all over you, and you have no idea how to get angry in a healthy manner.
(I have the same problem)
seems like i'm just aggressively blocking out stress which i can't cope with. i wonder how many eons it will take me to figure out how i work. still struggling to figure out a way to force myself into solving something instead of tiptoeing my best around it
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You ever finish something that left you feeling empty inside afterwards? When I was young this happened to me with videogames, to the point where I wouldnt restart my save on a game because I didnt like the idea of it ending. I think this has affected my ability to enjoy rougelikes and scavenging games with soft resets every time you die. Recently this happened with an anime I was watching. I found it interesting enough and overall enjoyed it, but the way it ended ruined my mood for the rest of the day. It wasnt anything serious, just a bittersweet ending where characters learn to move on form eachother, but the final scenes were of this album. Its such a meme. I shouldn't feel so bad about this. I need to watch something else to get rid of this feeling
I tried to start a "Make $5 a day" goal so I could afford some meds I'm taking and even that is difficult. I'm extremely incompetent and worthless.
i wish my brain would instead block out sexual desire so i don't have to wake up an hour or two before the alarm because i'm fucking disgusted by these female oriented wet dreams. human body is the most cruel prison he could come up with. fucking devil.
You ever get impulsive thoughts about a thing or a person and believe it's the Universes way of trying to tell you something? Not some cringe, chicken-scratch acid "we are all interconnected" shit but wonder if you're tethered to whatever this larger feeling is. Or perhaps a OCD/daydreaming thing again brought on under stressful events.
>>284185
no because universe wouldn't deign to talk to me and i don't get thoughts in general.
no because universe wouldn't deign to talk to me and i don't get thoughts in general.
3 am rn. Also lost track of how many times I've thought about as much RWBY as Monty Oum at this hour, for some reason..
>>284192
i fucking don't remember what was happening a week ago. i don't remember what was happening, in what sequence, only brief sketches. and i have to keep track of things. fucking insane. i have no words.
i fucking don't remember what was happening a week ago. i don't remember what was happening, in what sequence, only brief sketches. and i have to keep track of things. fucking insane. i have no words.
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>>284193
Just write it down nigger.
I have brain damage since having my skull split open as a little baba and I can still keep track of shit with the help of notes.
Just write it down nigger.
I have brain damage since having my skull split open as a little baba and I can still keep track of shit with the help of notes.
I asked a math question on 3 different forums and on all three I got responses that were either totally wrong or just harassment by people telling me to go read a book or fuck off. is it possible to get real information on the internet anymore?
i really love the people who answer confidently wrong. i wonder how many narcissists browse forums just to answer questions on topics they dont know anything about.
i really love the people who answer confidently wrong. i wonder how many narcissists browse forums just to answer questions on topics they dont know anything about.
>>284194
fuck off nigger
my ability to care for today is exhausted
no hard feelings
my rumblings are completely random and baseless
why are you even responding
…
fuck off nigger
my ability to care for today is exhausted
no hard feelings
my rumblings are completely random and baseless
why are you even responding
…
>>284195
I keep pestering people, calling them out on their poor understanding/ methods and causing drama until my problem gets actually solved in-depth. Works every time.
I keep pestering people, calling them out on their poor understanding/ methods and causing drama until my problem gets actually solved in-depth. Works every time.
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I don't know why I have such a hard time when I let someone else down. It makes me feel like absolute shit for a really long time, even when it's not my fault. I wish I could be like the selfish normalfag who just doesn't give a shit.
>>284197
Wizzie, the people who sit, giving wrong answers out with confidence will spend all day arguing with you. They're either AIs or… I don't know. I really don't know what kind of people they are but they're wrong.
Wizzie, the people who sit, giving wrong answers out with confidence will spend all day arguing with you. They're either AIs or… I don't know. I really don't know what kind of people they are but they're wrong.
I slept somewhat better than usual last night with no pillow.
Now I shall see if I can replicate it this night.
Now I shall see if I can replicate it this night.
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