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I'm 23, have a good family, so i consider myself very lucky, but i guess all that doesn't cut it for me to be happy, i just keep making mistakes, failing at everything i do and feeling worse about myself
I'm leeching off my family, and that has to end, so I'm thinking of just going to a nearby town, leave all behind and rot as a homeless person.
I need advice on what should i bring with me, and how should i go about it
I'm leeching off my family, and that has to end, so I'm thinking of just going to a nearby town, leave all behind and rot as a homeless person.
I need advice on what should i bring with me, and how should i go about it
Stop being sentimental and embrace the meaninglessness of life.
You were dealt a good set of cards in life by having a loving supporting family despite not being neurotypical and being fated to become a wizard.
Mooch off them as much as you can, if it does them no harm, there is no "victim" and you get a comfy standard of living.
My grandparents used to give me $1k every few months when they were alive (my bioparents are dead or incarcerated).
I felt zero remorse for taking it and they still left a massive will after dying, meaning that contribution didn't make even a slight dent in their monthly finances.
You don't have a duty to wageslave for this society. If you have any easy way out without risking jail just take it.
The stupidest thing you could do is become voluntarily homeless. I was involuntarily homeless for 4 months and it was the shittiest period of my life.
It didn't ennoble me or make me tougher, it just sucked hard, and you become a prey for all kinds of weird normies who want to pick on you or torture you when you have to sleep in all sorts of weird places in heavy rain.
You were dealt a good set of cards in life by having a loving supporting family despite not being neurotypical and being fated to become a wizard.
Mooch off them as much as you can, if it does them no harm, there is no "victim" and you get a comfy standard of living.
My grandparents used to give me $1k every few months when they were alive (my bioparents are dead or incarcerated).
I felt zero remorse for taking it and they still left a massive will after dying, meaning that contribution didn't make even a slight dent in their monthly finances.
You don't have a duty to wageslave for this society. If you have any easy way out without risking jail just take it.
The stupidest thing you could do is become voluntarily homeless. I was involuntarily homeless for 4 months and it was the shittiest period of my life.
It didn't ennoble me or make me tougher, it just sucked hard, and you become a prey for all kinds of weird normies who want to pick on you or torture you when you have to sleep in all sorts of weird places in heavy rain.
Even though i agree, i have to do this, i'm just dead weight, they're hurting just by living with me, i've been nothing but a disappointment, and i think it's about time i just end it.
It's not only about the money, i can see them get worse with every mistake and wrong turn i make. I just can't fight it, i cannot be a wageslave with no purpose, no social life and no goals for the rest of my life
It's not only about the money, i can see them get worse with every mistake and wrong turn i make. I just can't fight it, i cannot be a wageslave with no purpose, no social life and no goals for the rest of my life
>>284344
Become a psychiatric patient and leech off welfare, being homeless is the worst thing that can happen to you
Dying of starvation is better than living in the streets
Become a psychiatric patient and leech off welfare, being homeless is the worst thing that can happen to you
Dying of starvation is better than living in the streets
>>284352
Why not just buy a knife or even gun, some camping gear, go live in the woods, and get eaten by a bear instead of living on the streets?
Why not just buy a knife or even gun, some camping gear, go live in the woods, and get eaten by a bear instead of living on the streets?
>>284362
A subzero rated sleeping bag if he lives up north, or a hooded USGI bivy with bugnet hood if he's down south. A USGI poncho and Woobie set will serve him well in any environment.
A subzero rated sleeping bag if he lives up north, or a hooded USGI bivy with bugnet hood if he's down south. A USGI poncho and Woobie set will serve him well in any environment.
homelessness is for people with no family or hopelessly fucked up families. It will not make your family happier for you to be homeless.
>>>>284358
Can't, my 3rd world country doesn't allow ppl having guns without a lot of money
Can't, my 3rd world country doesn't allow ppl having guns without a lot of money
>>284364
I know, i have to lie to them, and make them believe that i'm doing ok, so basically betray them
I know, i have to lie to them, and make them believe that i'm doing ok, so basically betray them
>>284352
I'm currently trying, but i feel like the walls are closing in and i need to do something
I'm currently trying, but i feel like the walls are closing in and i need to do something
>>284344
if you're suicidal and mentally ill then you can't possibly have a good family, they're precisely the reason why you're in such s terrible state, meaning that you should either seek to get away from them entirely (under circumstances that are preferable to being homeless), or to continue "leeching" (they're the ones who forced you into this horrible existence in the first place) free of bad conscience
if you're suicidal and mentally ill then you can't possibly have a good family, they're precisely the reason why you're in such s terrible state, meaning that you should either seek to get away from them entirely (under circumstances that are preferable to being homeless), or to continue "leeching" (they're the ones who forced you into this horrible existence in the first place) free of bad conscience
>>284376
OK dad, I'll just go and give the manager at Walmart Nightshift Security Janitor Solutions a firm handshake and ask him when I start.
If getting an easy job that payed enough to live alone with at LEAST 5 hours of free time each day was an option, OP would probably have jumped on it.
OK dad, I'll just go and give the manager at Walmart Nightshift Security Janitor Solutions a firm handshake and ask him when I start.
If getting an easy job that payed enough to live alone with at LEAST 5 hours of free time each day was an option, OP would probably have jumped on it.
I was homeless for like 2 months this year and i had it easy as shit for those 2 months but it was still one of the worst periods of my life by far. You lose literally all sense of security and ownership and normalcy you have when you live on the street and everything that you want or need to do becomes 100x harder than it would be if you had a place to live. I got random infections all the time,I got my shit stolen multiple times,I couldn't sleep for days on end cause I either couldn't find a safe place to sleep or I did and I got the cops called on me. I know that I can't change your mind and your your own person and shit but like if you're still going to do this please be smart or you will die.
So … You are gonna reward your family for their goodness, by disappearing from their life ?
Think.
Think.
>>284368
Maybe OP's condition sprouted from his existentialism and experiences with the world while his family at best indirectly contributed to this.
Maybe OP's condition sprouted from his existentialism and experiences with the world while his family at best indirectly contributed to this.
I suggest you actually go through with this to see if you have what it takes and appreciate what you have. Be homeless for a month then go back home.
>>284386
Account for this as well. If they're still treating you kindly or neutrally despite being dead weight they're going to want to expect a payback in some way, they're putting trust into and made a silent contract with you for their kindness to be appreciated because they feel some level of love for you. I doubt they're using this period of your life as ammo to use against you but it's possible.
>>284386
Account for this as well. If they're still treating you kindly or neutrally despite being dead weight they're going to want to expect a payback in some way, they're putting trust into and made a silent contract with you for their kindness to be appreciated because they feel some level of love for you. I doubt they're using this period of your life as ammo to use against you but it's possible.
>>284376
Tell me how to get a job having a blank resume, even slave-tier places require interview, resume or indication.
>why do you want to work here?
>tell me about your qualities and flaws
>tell me about your hobbies
>tell me about your previews experience
>why do you have being unemployed for 10 years?
>tell me your zodiac sign
>if you were an animal, what you you would be? And why?
>imitate a chicken, please
Tell me how to get a job having a blank resume, even slave-tier places require interview, resume or indication.
>why do you want to work here?
>tell me about your qualities and flaws
>tell me about your hobbies
>tell me about your previews experience
>why do you have being unemployed for 10 years?
>tell me your zodiac sign
>if you were an animal, what you you would be? And why?
>imitate a chicken, please
>>284424
Also, interviews are made to filter out people like me. I had gone to a few constructions, some laugh at me, some told the manager went out, some told to leave the resume, some told were full. Since a kid I helped my dad to build 2 houses, one brickhouse and another woodhouse, had build walls, extensions and all the handy stuff; I also have an auto mechanic trade certification, despite being ostracized there, and a few experiences helping my dad as a kid before he sold the car; going out in autoshops they laugh at me, say to leave the resume or say they are full. I had tried food stuff, they ask for resume or don't hire blank resume; SAME FOR industrial SLAVE SHIT, which I would not mind a repetitive manual task, THEY FEEL THE MAGIC ON ME!
Also, interviews are made to filter out people like me. I had gone to a few constructions, some laugh at me, some told the manager went out, some told to leave the resume, some told were full. Since a kid I helped my dad to build 2 houses, one brickhouse and another woodhouse, had build walls, extensions and all the handy stuff; I also have an auto mechanic trade certification, despite being ostracized there, and a few experiences helping my dad as a kid before he sold the car; going out in autoshops they laugh at me, say to leave the resume or say they are full. I had tried food stuff, they ask for resume or don't hire blank resume; SAME FOR industrial SLAVE SHIT, which I would not mind a repetitive manual task, THEY FEEL THE MAGIC ON ME!
>>284425
>>284424
It's just mind crushing trying out for years until put everything in place, get a minimal 2 weeks nofap, fixing my sleeping schedule, get 50 push-ups in 10/5, shave myself, get a haircut and walk 1 hour/day to get confident enough to go out trying to find a job and just be incapable. I did learn programming in 2014, but just in 2021 I got confidence enough to create a github, put some projects, create a linkedin and applied to a few jobs, but deleted everything in shame after no responses and after fapping destroying my confidence; for the current programming market and ghost jobs I just can't get a job without a degree, so I gave up. In 10 years I was able to complete this "ritual" only 2 times and currently I'm waiting my parents to die to become homeless since my family gonna kick me out to get the house.
>>284424
It's just mind crushing trying out for years until put everything in place, get a minimal 2 weeks nofap, fixing my sleeping schedule, get 50 push-ups in 10/5, shave myself, get a haircut and walk 1 hour/day to get confident enough to go out trying to find a job and just be incapable. I did learn programming in 2014, but just in 2021 I got confidence enough to create a github, put some projects, create a linkedin and applied to a few jobs, but deleted everything in shame after no responses and after fapping destroying my confidence; for the current programming market and ghost jobs I just can't get a job without a degree, so I gave up. In 10 years I was able to complete this "ritual" only 2 times and currently I'm waiting my parents to die to become homeless since my family gonna kick me out to get the house.
>>284424
>let's see, references, references, ahh here it is
>you have two references and hmmmm, it seems they're you're parents?
>yes sir
>why no one else?
>they are the only two people who know me sir
surely that will go well lmao
>let's see, references, references, ahh here it is
>you have two references and hmmmm, it seems they're you're parents?
>yes sir
>why no one else?
>they are the only two people who know me sir
surely that will go well lmao
>>284395
>>284386
I agree with you, they've been good parents, and i'm just repaying their kindness with leaving from their life? that's wrong, seriously wrong. I still feel the urge to either die or go away, but i cannot do this behind their back.
I think I'm gonna do just that, talk to them, and spend a month or more living in the streets, hopefully i'll realize how stupid i am being.
I don't know when things got so messy, i was a good kid… anyway, i have things to think about, thanks guys.
>>284386
I agree with you, they've been good parents, and i'm just repaying their kindness with leaving from their life? that's wrong, seriously wrong. I still feel the urge to either die or go away, but i cannot do this behind their back.
I think I'm gonna do just that, talk to them, and spend a month or more living in the streets, hopefully i'll realize how stupid i am being.
I don't know when things got so messy, i was a good kid… anyway, i have things to think about, thanks guys.
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>>284430
>hey mom hey dad I'm going to be homeless for a month, would you please consent
Don't do this, just leave if you're going to. Personally, dumping your cards on the table like that makes me uncomfortable and is an awful idea but that's just what it's like with mine.
>hey mom hey dad I'm going to be homeless for a month, would you please consent
Don't do this, just leave if you're going to. Personally, dumping your cards on the table like that makes me uncomfortable and is an awful idea but that's just what it's like with mine.
>>284392
existentialist thought at an early age is a consequence of obsessing over death because of suicide ideation, which is a cause of depression triggered by a shitty dysfunctional oppressive environment, OP is probably a victim of manipulation by his parents, e.g. "we live in a poor country so you should be grateful for not living in poverty or being on the streets!", to invalidate your issues and suffering and to make you comply through guilt, it's a tactic that's very commonly utilized by NPD parents
existentialist thought at an early age is a consequence of obsessing over death because of suicide ideation, which is a cause of depression triggered by a shitty dysfunctional oppressive environment, OP is probably a victim of manipulation by his parents, e.g. "we live in a poor country so you should be grateful for not living in poverty or being on the streets!", to invalidate your issues and suffering and to make you comply through guilt, it's a tactic that's very commonly utilized by NPD parents
>>284430
>talk to them
Just leave.
I left at 19 and went straight for the woods. Came out 3 months later with a job so I wouldn't have to ever deal with them again.
I've cut all contact with my parents for nearly 9 years now.
>talk to them
Just leave.
I left at 19 and went straight for the woods. Came out 3 months later with a job so I wouldn't have to ever deal with them again.
I've cut all contact with my parents for nearly 9 years now.
>>284502
It's entirely valid and I know what you're talking about but I'm going to also assume, especially since he said he has a good family, the possibility that he may be spoiled to some degree or has developed this ennui or depression himself. OP says he feels guilty for being a loser and leech, this may be because of his parents' standards and manipulation, maturity knowing that both parties are to "blame", or that they don't know what's going on through his mind despite the attempts of a healthy upbringing.
It's entirely valid and I know what you're talking about but I'm going to also assume, especially since he said he has a good family, the possibility that he may be spoiled to some degree or has developed this ennui or depression himself. OP says he feels guilty for being a loser and leech, this may be because of his parents' standards and manipulation, maturity knowing that both parties are to "blame", or that they don't know what's going on through his mind despite the attempts of a healthy upbringing.
>>284507
someone who has been pampered by parents for the entirety of their youth and has lived a materially comfortable life without experiencing the stress of struggling with survival wouldn't be as willing to throw themselves into terrible, tough conditions of living such as homelessness, in most cases these feelings of inadequacy and low self-esteem are caused by parental emotional abuse, neglection and rejection, the first step that OP needs to take towards "fixing" his life is realizing that everyone and everything that surrounds him is an enemy
someone who has been pampered by parents for the entirety of their youth and has lived a materially comfortable life without experiencing the stress of struggling with survival wouldn't be as willing to throw themselves into terrible, tough conditions of living such as homelessness, in most cases these feelings of inadequacy and low self-esteem are caused by parental emotional abuse, neglection and rejection, the first step that OP needs to take towards "fixing" his life is realizing that everyone and everything that surrounds him is an enemy
>>284509
Perhaps. We need to see what OP must say about it though because I am as right as you are but I have a feeling he's done with this thread if he didn't actually stick to his word.
>someone who has been pampered by parents for the entirety of their youth and has lived a materially comfortable life
That's exactly why I think he'd say he'd become homeless even if it's a bluff, it is guilt that drives him to fantasize or be willing to do that. A good portion of the middle class feel ashamed of living cushy lives, being berated about poverty and/or not far from seeing it everyday. Life can also feel like a gilded cage.
Perhaps. We need to see what OP must say about it though because I am as right as you are but I have a feeling he's done with this thread if he didn't actually stick to his word.
>someone who has been pampered by parents for the entirety of their youth and has lived a materially comfortable life
That's exactly why I think he'd say he'd become homeless even if it's a bluff, it is guilt that drives him to fantasize or be willing to do that. A good portion of the middle class feel ashamed of living cushy lives, being berated about poverty and/or not far from seeing it everyday. Life can also feel like a gilded cage.
leave homelessness as a last resort. You need to learn about what's best for your situation but over here it's not a good time even though I'd say we are top 5 countries to be homeless in. Just weigh it all up and don't make a dumb choice man
>>284376
getting the job is so easy but they always lie about what you'll be doing, I was asked if i can lift up to 10kg and i said yes. Even moving 10kg box around all day is back breaking for a guy like me but 1st day on the job I had to catch YES CATCH 30kg+ boxes that were thrown at me from a guy on the above platform. Idk physics math but look here:
30kg is 3x more than 10kg. MASSIVE LIE ALREADY. Also with force thrown and gravity ETC can i safely assume it's like lifting 40 to 50 kg to catch 30kg in that position? regardless iquit after a day i'd rather eat out of dumpsters than have 20~50 daollars a week to live on from that job
getting the job is so easy but they always lie about what you'll be doing, I was asked if i can lift up to 10kg and i said yes. Even moving 10kg box around all day is back breaking for a guy like me but 1st day on the job I had to catch YES CATCH 30kg+ boxes that were thrown at me from a guy on the above platform. Idk physics math but look here:
30kg is 3x more than 10kg. MASSIVE LIE ALREADY. Also with force thrown and gravity ETC can i safely assume it's like lifting 40 to 50 kg to catch 30kg in that position? regardless iquit after a day i'd rather eat out of dumpsters than have 20~50 daollars a week to live on from that job
I talked to them, they talked with my psychologist, and they all told me that i shouldn't do it, which is basically the same thing that i'm reading on this thread,
thanks for every piece of advice that you gave me, but now i'm not so sure about leaving
>>284509
I'll have to disagree with that, i don't think my parents have been abusive, or at least, not voluntarily, i cannot see everyone as an enemy, actually, my low self-esteem makes me see everyone else like some kind of superhero
thanks for every piece of advice that you gave me, but now i'm not so sure about leaving
>>284509
I'll have to disagree with that, i don't think my parents have been abusive, or at least, not voluntarily, i cannot see everyone as an enemy, actually, my low self-esteem makes me see everyone else like some kind of superhero
>>284502
that's quite accurate, but i don't think they're narcissistic, maybe i idealize them too much, but i think they're good parents, or tried to be the best. But you do have a point, they have said things very similar to that and the environment hasn't been the best
that's quite accurate, but i don't think they're narcissistic, maybe i idealize them too much, but i think they're good parents, or tried to be the best. But you do have a point, they have said things very similar to that and the environment hasn't been the best
>>284352
>being homeless is the worst thing that can happen to you
There are many, many worse things that can happen to you. Don't be retarded
>being homeless is the worst thing that can happen to you
There are many, many worse things that can happen to you. Don't be retarded
>>284633
You could shoot off your face with a shotgun but survive and be kept in a hospital being tortured for decades, unable to kill yourself
You could shoot off your face with a shotgun but survive and be kept in a hospital being tortured for decades, unable to kill yourself
>>284633
Having your skull caved in and living as a vegetable in delusion, feeling the moment when everything that made you up as a person, your inner world, just get deleted in an instant.
Having your skull caved in and living as a vegetable in delusion, feeling the moment when everything that made you up as a person, your inner world, just get deleted in an instant.
>>284609
Hey OP just read through the thread. Just wanted to let you know you're not the only retard with these fantasies. I've been dealing with the same issues for the past fiveish years. The low self esteem permeates every part of your life. You can't talk to people. You can't make good choices for yourself. You can't ask people for things. etc etc. Maybe its just because the thought of being homeless doesn't feel as bad as the struggle to live normally.
Hey OP just read through the thread. Just wanted to let you know you're not the only retard with these fantasies. I've been dealing with the same issues for the past fiveish years. The low self esteem permeates every part of your life. You can't talk to people. You can't make good choices for yourself. You can't ask people for things. etc etc. Maybe its just because the thought of being homeless doesn't feel as bad as the struggle to live normally.
>>287160
>>287161
There is no age. The concept of "you still have time to do X" where X is something that you cannot do because you don't want to do it and because your biology and mental health and personality don't allow you to do, is a concept with no sense.
There was never and there will never be a proper time.
>>287161
There is no age. The concept of "you still have time to do X" where X is something that you cannot do because you don't want to do it and because your biology and mental health and personality don't allow you to do, is a concept with no sense.
There was never and there will never be a proper time.
>>287177
Maybe in theory but in practice your brain has a harder time learning things, your energy levels become lower with age and if you want to get a job there is ageism. You also lose on support programs that exist for young people only.
But of course that means waiting even longer will be worse so better start now.
Maybe in theory but in practice your brain has a harder time learning things, your energy levels become lower with age and if you want to get a job there is ageism. You also lose on support programs that exist for young people only.
But of course that means waiting even longer will be worse so better start now.
>>287180
I'd say 50 is around the latest to turn things around, after that you just start running out of time to get your investment back for higher education. You can't get a deposit for a house.
I'd say 50 is around the latest to turn things around, after that you just start running out of time to get your investment back for higher education. You can't get a deposit for a house.
>>287216
No, your life is mostly over by that point. Many people in the trades start retiring at 50-55 because their minds and bodies are so broken. In France some tradesmen and public servants get to retire at 49.
The last window of opportunity to make a change is realistically around 30-35 and even the you're in a big hurry.
No, your life is mostly over by that point. Many people in the trades start retiring at 50-55 because their minds and bodies are so broken. In France some tradesmen and public servants get to retire at 49.
The last window of opportunity to make a change is realistically around 30-35 and even the you're in a big hurry.
>>287180
>>287216
>>287217
>>287229
Things change as you age, yes, but that just means that you have to aim for another target. If you are 30 then you should probably stop chasing that dream of being a pro football player. That isn't the end of the world, though. You can still do many other things.
Age 50 is very different for many people so what you can do realistically at that age varies from person to person. Tradesmen retire early because their bodies are broken from the years of abuse. A 50 year old who hasn't abused their body can do the job as well as a man as half his age. As for mental decline, I personally work with people in their 60s and they are just as sharp as people in their 30s. The only way you can truly know what you can and cannot do is by going out there and doing it.
>>287216
>>287217
>>287229
Things change as you age, yes, but that just means that you have to aim for another target. If you are 30 then you should probably stop chasing that dream of being a pro football player. That isn't the end of the world, though. You can still do many other things.
Age 50 is very different for many people so what you can do realistically at that age varies from person to person. Tradesmen retire early because their bodies are broken from the years of abuse. A 50 year old who hasn't abused their body can do the job as well as a man as half his age. As for mental decline, I personally work with people in their 60s and they are just as sharp as people in their 30s. The only way you can truly know what you can and cannot do is by going out there and doing it.
>>287235
But also don't think this is a free pass to do fuck all because you still have time. The best time to make a change is always now.
But also don't think this is a free pass to do fuck all because you still have time. The best time to make a change is always now.
>>284344
Pretty bad ass op. Good luck. Going out is the best decision you will do. Don't let the naysayers drag you, it's obvious they want people to be just like them locked in self isolation
Pretty bad ass op. Good luck. Going out is the best decision you will do. Don't let the naysayers drag you, it's obvious they want people to be just like them locked in self isolation