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/dep/ - Depression

Depression

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File: 1587269741881.png (274.6 KB, 1600x900, 16:9, bpg ph.png) ImgOps iqdb

 No.218890

I was born with weird mentality. I give you few examples of it.

1. When they bullied me at school, sometimes I thought in my mind that perhaps they have reason for it and it may be partly my fault.
2. When they insulted me at school I did nothing about it, because I thought that if I want to push somebody in the face then I must have good reason for it and being insulted is not enough a reason. I couldnt in most cases insult back thanks to social phobia.
3. Teachers were mad at me when I were fighting with my bully few times at elementary school, so thanks to that I thought that I must avoid fighting with bullies no matter what, because teachers wont like it. So, after elementary school I practically havent fight with anybody, despite being bullied in every school I went to.
4. If somebody told me that I have to do something, the way he wants I did it (even if when in my mind I knew that I should do what I want instead of listening to some moron). If I did what somebody ordered me to do and I didnt like it, then in my mind I was insulting the guy who gave me order (I was calling him moron or something like that)
5. In the middle school even smaller guys than me bullied me, because of me being brainwashed by the teachers that fighting agaisnt bully is bad.
I m ashamed of that.
6. Lots of people yelled at me, mostly for no reason, just because they were frustrated. In the adulthood - I understood - thats just their mentality, which I dont have.
7. When I graduated from middle school, then I wanted to choose high school, but my mother recommended me other highschool, so I did what she wanted me to do and after years I was mad at her, because I could choose better highschool with better people, instead of listening to her.


Everything went so wrong… What do you think about me?

 No.218894

Are you underage? Get out of this site before it's too late.

 No.218898

>>218894
nope, I m 25 years old.

 No.218905

well you can survive in society with this mentality I guess.

I'd always get shit but to be honest i was always capable of snapping

when I got shit from a smaller kid in middle school, I choked him.

 No.218937

>>218905
>well you can survive in society with this mentality I guess.
yeah, but half of the people are neutral towards me, while second half of them are hostile towards me

 No.218942

Only normalfaggots can be "bullied". Bullying is the process by which normalfags exclude undesirables. Wizards have no reason to try and associate with normalfaggots and so they never get bullied.

 No.218944

>>218942
retarded post of the week everyone.

 No.218945

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 No.218948

>>218945
You cant even meme right

 No.219502

>>218942
bullshit

 No.219534

>>218890
Yes i have the same thing. Officially it's known as being 'high in agreeableness'.
In layman terms it's called having no spine.
You may have had an overprotective mother who was paradoxically emotionally neglectful and/or a stern father who you associated love with compliance with.

 No.219544

this is just being low T / beta. describes me to a t in school/uni. totally let ppl step on me.

 No.219557

>>218945
Why are you posting cartoon version of yourself

 No.219608

>>219534
>>218890
Sounds like a dependent personality disorder. One should not be too quick with such diagnosis, but maybe you just google it and check for yourself if that fits the both of you.

 No.219609

>>219608
It's untreatable so there's no point looking it up.

 No.222573

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OP were you brainwashed with Christ insanity from a young age?

Natural born wizards like us tend to possess a large degree of natural empathy that is then weaponized in a self destructive sense by the Jew cult to our detriment.

So thats why I wonder since many of your experiences seem to mirror my own.

Also those people most likely yelled at you as a result of nature despising weakness ie they must have sensed weakness/passivity in you and naturally felt you were thus a good target for their pent up anger and rage.

 No.222622

>>222573
>OP were you brainwashed with Christ insanity from a young
yes, from the day i was born i was tought how to be a good catholic.

but when I was 16 years old I stopped being catholic and found out that being religious is pointless.

religion made me weak person too, i guess.

 No.222651

>>222622
I wouldn't say religion. Were you brought up in a tight knit religious community? I was brought up a areligious homeschooler and I turned out to be a weak person. I am guessing it was probably because I never picked up all the social ticks people expect you to have after school. It's like being a virgin, everyone you meet seems to tell that you are "off" in some way. Being a homeschooler also made me value social interaction more, but also made me fear them more.

 No.222989

>>218890
For the most part this post also decribes me. I'm still almost totally unable to assert myself in any way, even when it comes to things that would improve my lifestyle.

 No.223738

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>>218890
Brother, I had exactly the same experience. To this day the have issues with assuming that I have done something wrong when people disrespect me. My mother and teachers never taught me to fight back.

Normalfag ‘redpillers’ have this is gross but also fascinating way of describing verbal conflict in terms of ‘holding frame’, meaning holding your perception and belief and events and the world and pushing it on others. If you lose frame you lose respect.
Counterintuitively, people do not like or respect agreeable people who back down; it looks weak and people fucking hate weakness. People won’t admit it but most people love strength, especially in men.

I had the experience with my dad. My dad continually made snide and unpleasant comments about me, would treat me disrespectfully, and called me passive. One day we were arguing about something and I was trying to be polite. He raised his voice then I did as well. He told me off for raising my voice at him. For the first time I shouted at my dad stood over him telling him that if he was going to to shout then I was going to shout too and he had best learn some manners he wanted them from me.

He asked me to leave the house and go back to my pace. Next day, he phoned up and was the most kind and respectful he had ever been in years.

Always maintain your frame in any situation if you want respect. Always hold frame.

 No.223789

>>218890
In my case teachers won't do anything if somebody was verbally or mentally degrading/torturing somebody, but if you got feed up with that and answered with a punch you'd be treated like the worst criminal, even when the teachers knew well that you were being poked to do so. School tachers are scum and deserve ZERO respect

 No.223825

There's a fine balance between standing up for yourself and being somebody everybody dislikes. I used to be the one that always stood up for myself always said something back and never conformed. Simply put it i was hated by everybody and the amount of stress i experienced made my life into a living hell.

 No.223835

>>223825
>always said something back
That's not necessarily standing up for yourself, it's feeding conflict. You don't need to go play into conflict in order to stand up for yourself.

 No.223849

>>223835
On the one hand, I love watching stuff like this (Bombard's channel is something very similar); but on the other hand, I really wonder how much I get from it. Particularly because watching these makes me feel like a complete sociopath/autist, how much human behavior I'm just pretending at, as it makes it apparent that I'm memorizing other advice from other people on social moves. I get the notion that Robert Downey Jr. here did not need to memorize this kind of social gambit, he just naturally picked it up. And because he naturally picked it up, he can naturally apply it like this. Which makes these kind of videos particularly useless. If I were to try doing this, it would appear so forced, so mechanical, so stilted, and have such an uncanny valley effect that it simply wouldn't work.

 No.223850

>>223849
I think you are right. One thing I think is true is changing your underlying beliefs as opposed to changing your behaviour. If you change your beliefs then behaviour will be a lot easier to change.

If I keep telling yourself 'I know something that you don't know' when you encounter other people, then I find myself behaving more confidently, almost normie and my aspergy nervousness tends to die down.

 No.223851

>>223849
Actually, it shows you how sociopathic the average person is, because people are trying to get the edge over edge each to become more convincing and therefore hoard more resources from everyone else.
3+ million people subscribed in to learn how to hack other people's minds.

 No.223869

>>223825
it seems like a catch 22. You don't defend yourself, you are considered weak. If you are a white male and considered weak, it's like immediately everyone finds you repulsive and wants to do away with you immediately, or worse, humiliate you for their own benefit.

Now defend yourself, you put yourself as an aggressor.

>>223835

anon's link here shows probably the lowest key way to get out of this situation, but again this is a situation where you can walk away. Doing this at a job will imply that you quit. Only rarely if the employeer has overplayed their hand will they try to call you back and apologize, but doing this is like literally jumping off a building and not caring if you hit the ground dead or something swoops up and saves you.

Any higher means of defending yourself, you are automatically the aggressor and are viewed as a threat. Unless you have built workplace allies, your enemy is going to attempt to circle the wagons around you and get you fired now. Or worse call security and escort you out.

Maybe normies like to do this as a way to test people's soft social skills. If they can exhibit those skills, they can be embraced by the normie culture. If they cannot, they are a insel and are to be immediately eliminated.

 No.223877

>>223851
It realy sucks how almost everyone is trying to be some machiavellian fag even in some blue collar job. I wonder if it was always like this or if it got worse the last years. This shit is so repulsive that it made me completely give up on the only people i knew in the last 13 years, i really don't care anymore

 No.223883

>>223877
And what's worse is that we are only learning it in order to function, they are learning it in order to maxx out and in essense, push the bar up for everyone else.
>normies like to do this as a way to test people's soft social skills.
Exactly, they test where you are in order to see what they can extract from you or if they can get away with dominating you for dopamine hits

 No.223885

>>223877
> I wonder if it was always like this or if it got worse the last years.
It's always been like this, it's just that the average person did not have access to the most efficient means of domination and resource-hoarding.
It's why the average male now needs to spend 4+ days in the gymn a week, many males take steroids and then compete in martial arts, try to max their salaries through coding or finance, then in their spare time watch youtube videos about building charisma in order to hack their way to the top faster.
The genetic game has just stepped up it's efficiency, and all of us caught out of the game can now see it happening in real time.

 No.223895

>>223877
I think it gets worse as society reaches the limits of expansion. You saw this shit in Europe at first and that's why people fled to America. Then even on the east coast people got sick of this shit and started moving west. Now there is very little land left that you can flee too and call your own. Now we are surrounded by ruling-class stock that is constantly trying to one-up each other to the top. That's why I think homosexuality is a natural product of this, as it helps cut down the population of unbearable pretentious people. But even that shit is being circumvented like in how Anderson Cooper got a surrogate for his child (instead of adopting).

 No.223906

>>223895
>That's why I think homosexuality is a natural product of this, as it helps cut down the population of unbearable pretentious people.
Consequences of Agenda 21:
- Homosexuality to decrease fertility rate.
- Increasing obesity to decrease the fertility rate.
- Destroying religions because atheism has the lowest fertility rate.
- Increasing standard of living of the poorest nations at whatever expense one can get away with with the richer nations, because wealth means a decreased fertility rate.
- Encouraging people to live in high density areas because that decreases the fertility rate.

Etc..

 No.223907

>>223906
>Increasing standard of living
yeah but the rich still need people to do the smelly jobs they can't operate like clean their bathrooms and pick their food.

 No.223908

>>223869
I can testify that the "staring at the bully" trick does work, usually. Tried it with a verbally abusive family member and he couldn't make eye contact at all, just kept looking at my shoes. He did keep berating me but he was visibly uncomfortable and mentioned how I was "looking at him like he was a mean guy".

So long as you can keep that dominant mindset without folding I think the best thing to do is to remain professional and don't fall into the trap of defending yourself to the bully or appearing submissive.

 No.223914

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 No.225165

>>218890
Most of the weird mentality is normal cognition when you are dependent (like a child). Assuming guilt so as to explain bad outcomes in life is logical - although objectively wrong it makes the worlds seem to have meaning and logic.

However, at some point you are not a kid anymore and this cognition must be changed. FORCIBLY if needed. Put yourself, like the Stoics said, in some mildly infuriating situations so as to take control and exercise your will. This is your first option. Assume ownership and control, slowly, in different areas of your life.

Alternatively, become masochistic. I know it sounds silly but it depends on your temperament. For some people it works to bring them peace.

3rd option, become a hermit or minimize human contact as much as possible.

4th option, suicide.

Options ranked from most adaptive to the least.

 No.225166

>>225165
>lmao just be in control bruh just grow up breh and be in charge of shit
You can't "take control", it's given to you by other people and it's not given to people who can't do it. If someone is capable of exercising his will he won'n't have learned not to do it in the first place.

 No.225175

>>223835
Sometimes they are the same thing, no escape.

>>223849
You could assist Chad's classroom to think you have learned something, but reality can always become bizarre and horrible beyond any expectations. Good luck, anyway. By the way, could it be that such opportune helper is nothing but sabotaging you? But, why would he want to do such? Reality overcomes fiction… it is a thing that crushes the mind of those exclusive, rare,few wizards who manage to overcome all of their warp.

>>223869
>you quit

Why so? It's sweeter when you get fired instead of merely shooting yourself down. If they get hateful, stay as you were inspite of that os they may end up being unable to have you inside. Otherwise you may play their game until falling sickened, for drinking other's poisons…

>Maybe normies like to do this as a way to test people's soft social skills.


Not a skill, don't lose a second trying to "learn" such filth. It's just their pathetic corruption, and our minds are weaker enough. I would not risk.

>>223877
See? This one got it already. Cheers.

>>223885
I like to think there is something ridiculously exposed they are actually missing. Something that lies at open sight, yet only some few cleared minds can gaze directly.

>>223907
They are busy doing more important things or just weakened by a luxurious life-style.

 No.225180

The people itt sound so paranoid. Have you considered that the world isn't full of vicious, spiteful bullies or that people with social skills aren't your enemy?

 No.225181

>>225180
Fuck you

 No.225182

>>225180
No I haven’t considered these things as experience has lead me to believe the contrary. Now begone from /dep/.

 No.225199

>>225175
>I like to think there is something ridiculously exposed they are actually missing. Something that lies at open sight, yet only some few cleared minds can gaze directly.
Like what? Sounds like cope tbh

 No.225200

>>225180
You must go back

 No.227553

bump

 No.229392

>>218942
You're saying only people who try to associate with normalshits in the first place are bullied?
That's really retarded anon, jesus fucking christ.

 No.232410

>>229392
It's actually completely true.

 No.232411

>>218942
Go back to /wiz/ where you can be retarded and the schizoid wannabes won't call you out for it

 No.234178

>>223738
Yet risky it worked…

in situations like that I use remain passive (no shame, you see) since such a critic is merely feeding me while complaining about things I wouldn't for him at all but rather for myself.

Not much regretting since they do not set strict privations over me. I think you took them too seriously, more than they deserved.

 No.234193

>>232410
but is not, you can be attacked even when you are actively trying to not associate with those people. Most bullying cases i saw were people who never tried to fit in in the first place and were resented for being asocial.

When someone doesn't even try to take part in the social hierarchy people too invested in it see it as a denial of their rank in that hierarchy so they become offended and act out on it.

If you weren't bullied you probably passed as a normalnigger yourself

 No.234255

>>234193
>When someone doesn't even try to take part in the social hierarchy people too invested in it see it as a denial of their rank in that hierarchy so they become offended and act out on it.
good point

 No.236582

>>218942
its quite opposite

 No.239044

bump

 No.239135

>>223775
>>218890
>>222573
>>223869
Take it from a guy who spent his young years fighting back physically.

The bullies don’t care, the normalfags never cared. You put them in a wheelchair their whole family and friend groups fhases after you. No matter how many of them you put down, none of the normalfags ever learn. If you stop one entire group? Eventually a new geoup starts bullying you. And on, and on.

For some reason, normalfags just don’t respond to losing or to getting beaten. Storytime.

When I was in kindergarten, I was bullied by every single child there. It was horrible. I think they may have all known eachother prior to me arriving, but they were hostile to me from the first moment they saw me. I remember when I first showed up to class children crying and demanding they be allowed to sit far away from me. Eventually their oatracism turned physical and they behan to push me. I didn’t take their shit. One day, after getting oushed, I grabbed a hard toy from the cabinets and went to town on the kids. I knocked out the kids tooth on the first strike, and eventually I was chasing 4 boys while they were crying. Within a couple minutes half the children were on the ground crying and the rest screaming for help.

Not only did I get in legal trouble and have to go see (((psychologists))), not only did I get brutally attacked by my own parents in retaliation for the forbidden “standing up for myself”, but the impact it had on the bullies? Zilch. Nothing. They only stopped physically assaulting me because they knew they couldnt win. But I’d become and even bigger pariah than before. They’d still insult me, but from afar, usually only in the direct presence of a teacher.

I would always say standing up for yourself is the right thing to do. But I also want to make it clear that bullies don’t care. They’re like robots. You stand up for yourself nor for the results, but for the principle. And because those battle-royales were hella adrenalin.

Before anyone says I could have done more to avoid the fighting btw, here’s an example of a bullying incident that led up to that event.

Batman was really popular amongst those kids. I thought maybe in order for them to like me, I should try to fit in. So I went and watched all the batman I could to have a decent knowledge of the thing. So one day there were two succubi playing with batman action fogures on the floor one day and talking about the latest batman episode. I came up to them and pointed out the batman toy and said something about the show and what they were talking about. The firls rose uo in a rage, one picked up her batman toy, and THREW IT across the room! She then shouted:
>I HATE BATMAN!!!!!
And they ran off and told the other boys and they all came over to shove me.

There was no avoiding the coming battle.

 No.239137

Test

 No.239138

>>239135
It's like what this guy here said:
>>>/lounge/264025
Your entire life is rigged from the very start. You are born to be different. To be an outcast. Normalfags will always treat you like an enemy and gang up on you whenever possible. There's no way around it.

 No.242344

>>239138
>Normalfags will always treat you like an enemy and gang up on you whenever possible
yeah, but some normies are less evil than other normies.

 No.242351

this built up, ive been beaten harrassed and had my house vandalized and just told the teachers because i just wanted friends and to be happy. took me until about 18 to understand that people are just sociopaths and then i started getting angry and hurting myself for being so weak, then i realized how strong keeping to yourself for your whole life and solving your own problems without needing to turn to your friends every day of your life.
friends would be nice to have but i dont think i could relate to them given they would have bullied me.

 No.242359

>>239135
You did well to beat those normalniggers up. Some are just messed up and can't be corrected. Never cuck out to the subhuman normalniggers. Worst case scenario you get killed and you are no longer on this faggot Earth.
t. also beat up normalniggers



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