/test/ - ;^)

The Not-Quite-A-Wizard Thread

(At the risk of typing out what amounts to a hackneyed, cyrptomnesiac meta-burger rant,) Here's the deal: I've been (mostly browsing, and) posting on this website for about five years now. The matter of the fact is becoming that I barely visit the internet anymore, but with wizchan the combination of general detachment from contemporary social life, good humour and sober, unaffected misanthropy make a comfortable and enjoyable environment for me that's difficult to find elsewhere on the internet.It seems now more than ever that the archetypes on Wizchan are rather decadent and over-the-top in a way that feels alienating to me.

I'll say that I am a "wizard"; I was always 'the quiet kid that stared out of the window on the bus'; I'm not a normie and likely never will be; couldn't be one if I tried to be one. Never had any friends, but never felt bad about it. I have close to zero interest, or ability in the area of social interaction. I'm not autistic, but always was "schizoid". Of course, seeing that I visit online forums regularly I do have some humane enjoyment of discourse, but No, I wouldn't say that I use the internet as a substitution for "friends" or "popularity" in the likes of Discord[/s]-kiddies.[/s]

I resent normies as I've come to see them as wolves-in-sheeps-clothing. They're vapid, miserable and vicious - but not too much of a problem if you can mostly avoid, or learn how to handle them. I don't harbour hate or resentment toward succubi - I just don't care for them. I consider that a strength - or else, a tremendous blessing. I sometimes have fantasies, but I've never sex or a relationship with a succubus, and I'm satisfied if I never do.

I never liked anime (really can't stand it on the whole) but have enjoyed one-or-two, here-and-there over the years (Full-Metal Alchemist, etc.). I can't fathom how some of you "hikkimori otakus" watch this stuff for 10 hours a day. But no hate, Each to their own. I haven't played video-games since I was 14. Television, movies, internet; I barely "consume" any "media". Excuse my language, but these days it feels like eating pure shit. My leisure these days mostly consists of reading books, maybe some sketching and painting in the future. I would consider myself "smart", but I'm not a geek or a book-worm, and don't have the head for anything particularly technical or mathematical.

I am a NEET, but don't anticipate being one for the rest of my life as some kind of middle-finger to society. I'd like the ability to live comfortably and independently, but do feel the need to do so on my own terms, not as a miserable serf. I'm not depressed or suicidal, and I never have been save for one, or two episodes of extreme teenage angst. I've never given absolute reign to defeatism, or exulted in swampy nihilism. I feel motivated to improve myself and develop my personal power - not in a "I-want-to-be-accepted-by-normies" way but a "I-want-to-fulfill-my-destiny-by-developing-my-potentialites" way. I have a very real interest in, for lack of a less tenebrous term, "the occult"; the development and maintenance of the mental and physical faculties, as prerequisite for the birthing of a "higher self" is among my foremost goals. I often consider my estrangement from an active participation in social/emotional life to have been advantageous for steering my life into the self-insulation which is necessary to do this.

I have always had a strained relationship with my mother and have been compelled to attribute my stunted ("schizoid") personality to this, but I don't have a passionate and incestuous love-hate-attachment complex to her. I don't live with my family, but I like and somewhat care about them and enjoy seeing them every now and again.

I'm have no strong political inclinations or beliefs, and am quite tired with the circus of identity-politics which has engulfed so many spaces of discussion. I find that when you really think long enough about it you'll realize that life is more or less a fight and everyone is trying to get a win for their own "team" - or more accurately, their own ego. What's irritating is that everyone is attached in the narrative that they are the victim and they are the truth rather than acknowledging that they're playing the game just like anyone else. (And I'm annoyed to see the spores of this disease arriving on the shores Wizchan, which is otherwise an oasis against such cacophonies of contemporary social life)


Conclusively, or TL;DR: I don't quite feel as though I suffer from all the complexes and compulsions that seem to be the motivating (or, demotivating) influence driving so much of the user-base here. I am a loner and I enjoy solitude; I am a virgin, and I don't feel bad about it; I don't care about succubi and I avoid normies. But when I see the kind of wacky and decrepit degenerates that roam this villa, shackled as they are by their real and imagined handicaps and traumas, I can't help but feel like the odd-one-out again and again - I can't help but feel that my blue hat is a little too straight and a little too short.

Are there any other users who feel this way, or get this sense? How many of "us" are there?