>>158524 School: Had some goals and decent grades; treated fairly by classmates… Overall an important step in developing some basic social skills and survivability in the conforming society. Towards the end of high school was when I 1st felt romantically attracted to a 2D character. It helped me realize I don't want to waste my time chasing after 3D succubi, and that real life relationships just aren't all that worth it.
Higher education: I attended a private polytechnic university (2-3 hours per day, after working hours) with mostly men and succubi in their twenties. Some chads and stacys, but most of them were already quite matured and conservative (married, had children, christian, etc…) and it was a nice experience. Didn't talk much anyways. It was mostly come in, attend class, go home.
No one's gonna read all this shit, but fuck it, I want to put my English skills into practice. >1st grade to 4th grade Normie-ish but innocent boy. For some reason, I enjoyed making other students laugh. I think it's because people seemed to like me more because I was funny. Though deep within I've always felt lonely (And I also don't know why I felt and still feel that way, I think it's because prior to that I lived in isolation. I remember that when I was very little, I used to play alone because I was the only little kid in the neighborhood (it was a very isolated neighborhood and my mother thought that buying a lot of toys made up for my lack of friends)), I managed to be the center of attention in class. I was one the most popular kids in school, simply because I was funny. >5th grade Had to move to another school. The teenagers' school in a shady and poor neighborhood. First few days it was still okay, I was the funny guy but it didn't last long. I noticed that people weren't taking me seriously anymore. I was the class clown and that started to become a problem. The other kids were worried about succubi, relationships, sex. The cool kids were no longer the funny kids or the kids who knew how to draw and create stuff. The cool kids were the so-called "bad" guys, the ones who get succubi, the ones who defy authority and don't care about anything. Needless to say, I was bullied by those guys because I was too innocent. I didn't even know what masturbation was and didn't care about succubi before. I only started to get interested in the opposite sex because I was pressured by them. Everyone around me was obsessed with succubi and sex. Every joke revolved around sex. As I became interested in succubi, my self-esteem dropped. I knew nothing about this world, I had just found out what masturbation was. I couldn't fit in, so I found myself a niche of nerds and losers. I became friends with them and felt less out of place. The bullying, however, continued and wouldn't stop till the 8th grade. >8th grade I became a recluse due to bullying and low self-esteem. Became addicted to the internet and spent hours on it so I started skipping school to spend more time on the internet. I ended up repeating 8th grade due to absence. >9th grade to 12th grade I changed shifts because if you're a repeater, you can only study at night where I live. I stopped skipping school but I wasn't interested in it. Kept going because I wanted to finish school once and for all. The bullying stopped along with my will to make friends. I was no longer the funny guy, I was the serious, reserved and mysterious guy and some people even admitted to being afraid of me (haha). Barely interacted with other students. Just did what I was supposed to do and then went home. I had just discovered 4chan and felt like I didn't need them or anyone in the real world.
So I finished school and after a few months got a job at a callcenter and kind of became traumatized and was afraid of making friends with other people, so I just tried to focus on my job but the pressure was too great, most of it came from my boss. She was a prick, insensitive, rude; she was a bully. I was committing many mistakes, so she started to berate me. Once she called me to have a conversation with her and she started asking questions about my personal life. Started questioning my sexuality, asked me if I had friends and etc, and I naturally fled. Next day I skipped work because I was just too embarrassed. I had been interested in drugs way before this embarrassing event, so I just went to a very shady place and got some weed and started smoking it. It was magical. I was feeling so good that I forgot everything. I was in heaven. Next day I went to work stoned and started going stoned to work every single day. I just couldn't face reality anymore. After a few months, I was so care-free and sloppy that I started skipping work, but they just wouldn't fire me. Fast-forward… went buy some weed as usual, but there wasn't any at that day. It was Christmas so they sold everything they had in a few hours, they said they only had cocaine and nothing else so I bought cocaine and went home. Even when I started smoking weed, I had sworn to myself that I would never touch any other drug, but I was so lost that I didn't care. Fast-forward… became addicted to cocaine as well. Still kept going to work but skipping it almost every week. Finally got fired and spent all the money I got on drugs. I was so heavily addicted that I talked to my mother and ask her to send me to a rehab, but I only did that because I didn't have any more money and was afraid of what I could do to get it. Fast-forward… I've recovered and spend most of my time reading books, studying something or shitposting on imageboards. I still crave drugs from time to time, but only in moments of despair. I don't think about drugs most of the time. I think about life and the meaning of it all. And to find an answer to it is even more difficult than to overcome any addiction.
>>158528 Just want to say that I read it. >She was a prick, insensitive, rude; she was a bully. I was committing many mistakes, so she started to berate me. Once she called me to have a conversation with her and she started asking questions about my personal life. Started questioning my sexuality, asked me if I had friends and etc, and I naturally fled. Kind of sounds like she was trying to flirt with you.
i was homeschooled from the start of first grade onwards. my parents never bothered to force me to socialize in any other way, aside from sending me to church and some of the activities provided by it. but that wasn't often. school was always just boring really, just doing the few hours i really needed to do each day and then spending the rest of the time free to do whatever in my own little bubble at home. i never found much difficulty with schoolwork, and when i did it just made me feel stupid. it's not like i ever thought i was very smart anyway though.
i don't even remember much about the brief time i was in preschool/kindergarten. in kindergarten just remember doing my work faster than everyone else and feeling bored, and also finding it difficult to play with the other kids or even to want to do so. one of my teachers even figured i was autistic. i tried to socialize sometimes, but i don't think it ever worked out very well. i was just ignored. everyone left me alone, and i left them alone. that's all i really remember about that. i never liked going to school, so i didn't mind being taken out at all.
i think being homeschooled for basically my entire childhood is one of the biggest reasons why i ended up the way i am. in particular, why i'm so timid, childish, naive, and socially stunted/clueless. so i was never bullied or pressured to do well with my grades and whatnot, but the lack of anything close to that just sent me into the opposite direction, of being woefully unprepared for all the cruel and horrible and unfair things the "real world" will inevitably throw my way once i'm finally forced out of my safe little bubble i've known since i was a child. at least i could have that short time safe from the horrors of it all. everything my head has come up with in all that alone time over the years doesn't compare in the slightest to the fear i feel of what being around other people and having to deal with them will do to me in the end.
Socially: In elementary I played with other kids during recess. After that I went through middle, high school and university without talking much but I was never bullied outside the ocasional "why are you so quiet" or "do you have any friends lol" Academically: Hated every second of it, my mother stopped forcing me to go after middle school and I attended the bare minimum to pass.
At the end of middle school and in high school I played Gameloft's Real Football through bluetooth. The most painful was when my back was hit with the iron ruler as a joke (edge side). At least I used to copy tests from that person who was more social than I and could get it from the others. I looked at his social media profile and he was in the group for erotic massage. I went to that site out of curiosity. It said they didn't do sexual services yet prostate massage was among the available things. Degenerate society.
I used to use homophobic slurs but the opponent was in the long conflict with me, fatshamed me and used the same slurs too. Let's say it was jokingly offending but not actual hate speech.
Elementary: nothing interesting, everyone was a snotty dumb kid, including me. Middle: boys start to find succubi interesting, succubi start to find drama interesting. Was kinda lucky that I sat next to a top-of-the-class guy, so I never had to study or do homework myself. All I can remember is dumb drama not involving me. Even when someone bullied me, they just stopped after 2-3 tries, there were far better victims for them to bully. High: the smart guy stopped giving his homework to me, no idea why. I had no intention of chasing higher education, so I just kinda stopped studying. Started skipping classes a lot more frequently. None of the teachers gave a shit about me, there were 2-3 guys who were on the verge of dropping out, they stood out far more than me. High school was also the time when I stopped giving a shit what others think of me, best decision of my life. Out of all the school years, high school was the best.
>>158557 I used to buy books with the made homework but it had no use during tests because teachers used different equations and such, not even close by analogy.
It was ok, most of my school life consistend of not standing out and hanging out with 2 or 3 guys I got along with. Can't really think of anything of note, not even bullying since most of the bullying was among succubi.
Primary school: Passable. Good because of comics, Captain Underpants, Harry Potter and me discovering my sexual attraction to succubi at only 10 years old, bad because of being an Aspie who was forced into normal school despite having to watch others during recess due to feeling alone, having to move to a different city, and discovering my sexual attraction to succubi at only 10 years old.
Secondary school: Good because I still made comics, Linkin Park, and when 7th grade was when there was no such thing as painful angst. Bad because succubi can be JUST bullies, grew out of Captain Underpants and characters in Harry Potter began getting killed.
High School: Good because I met a ton of good people, was passionate to a fault about comics, and had Obama. Bad because it was 90% in Mexico, the IB program (which was painfully strict) and I lost contact with a good friend from 4th grade.
I know what hell is like and with the exception of half of 6th grade, 8th grade and 10th grade, I'd say it was ALMOST like it.
So long ago,but what I do remember is always struggling with school work, well every one else was advancing even with basic shit I wasn't, I didn't start getting good grades till the end of highschool.
Nothing in particular really, pretty standard experience.
Went from being a kind of a bully in elementary school to be kind of bullied in middle and first year of high school which the latter one I failed.
After failing went on to another school and got it through pretty fine since we're all like minded (male) people without any succubi in the entire school.
Kindergarten was homeschool. Grade 1 at nice single-room school. Grades 2-8 at modern large soulless public school. Had many close friends, we talked vidya and anime, had some adventures. School had bullies but I wasn't singled out. Was pretty comfy, albeit mind numbing. Had a teacher that gave me a slight hard time but it was kind of a mutual clash of lifestyles. Told the teachers in plain words I had no interest in school grades so I didn't do any assignments but was never caught causing trouble for anyone so I passed. Typical jolly fat kid who would gladly eat the part of your lunch you didn't want. I slept in class full-snore and the teachers would joke to me about it, but I think they wrongly believed there was some at-home trouble forcing me to sleep at school so they allowed it when really I was just up all night gaming. Kind of tried to go against the grain and get people to think I was hardcore but I ended up just giving some kids a fair laugh.
Grade 9 (Highschool) I became singled out by some kids who I didn't grow up with because I wasn't bro. All friends from gradeschool had developed own respective groups, wasn't in any of their classes so no contact. Discovered PC enthusiasm and dropped out with mother's permission. Took to online hobby forums for interaction, some of which I still use to talk to people whom I've known online under aliases for a decade now. Attempted to attend attentive learning which was really comfy too but my sister bullied me out of it, convincing me the teacher hated me (he was actually a really good guy). Moved to a new town before the end of the year and never regretted any of it. Sometimes I feel like I'd like to go back to a quiet regulated class-like environment where I can sit at a desk and draw, read, or just think, but I remember that's only because as a housecat NEET I'm subject to constant negative human interaction all day and just ache for any modicum of peace and quiet. A shady tree suffices.
Overall a godly experience compared to some of the stuff posted in this thread so far. I remember it felt magnitudes worse when I was out during the time when I should have still been enrolled, but I guess years of discomfort, loss, wageslavery, and finally re-neetdom has altered my perception and it all seems like a fantasy compared to adult life.
I went to a rural school that combined all grades from kindergarten to 12th grade into one facility. My class size was less than 70. From 1st grade up through like 8th grade I latched onto a clique of autists, medicated freaks and skittish weirdos.
I probably never held a conversation with more than half my graduating class through all those years. I didn't want anything to do with the succubi. I had almost no self awareness until I was in my early 20s so somehow I didn't clearly register at the time that people were trying to bully me when I stood out. In retrospect I was the butt of some gay jokes, nothing physical happened because in fourth grade I had punched a guy really hard just because he was in my face.
For the last four years I was disowned by most of the weird clique because I was just dislikeable and didn't give thought to anything and I was never interested in them only interests we shared. The only person who could stand me was this unstable guy who was obsessed with anime and goth culture, would compulsively commit minor crimes and cut himself then drink his own blood. He took all kinds of meds. When he was 17 he told me that he had had sex and I never spoke to him again. He ended up dropping out to raise his child.
I constantly did inappropriate things like print out grotesque things I found on the internet and turn them in instead of assignments, or hog the computer during study hall to play flash games. I also copied notes and cheated on tests if I could. I failed spanish completely and had a lower gpa than almost anyone. It's insane that I never got in trouble for things I did and I never got diagnosed with aspergers or recommended for a psychological evaluation.
>>158524 my highschool experience was bitter sweet, I didn't have as much to worry about and shit in my life didn't really hit the fan yet. I was pretty miserable and lost often but I had more time and breathing space. Got bullied a bit but it was nothing compared to what my mother was like so it didn't effect me much. At the time I had a 360 and was able to fit in and blend in a bit by keeping up with gaming trends for a while but that temporary disguise of normality didn't last throughout it as I stayed there and everyone passed me by.
>>158965 Well for one if you slot your wrists and someone finds you fast enough, you’ll be fine. Also attempting to overdose on pharmaceuticals can often just be cured with a stomach pump and some rest. Really falling, hanging, and guns are the methods that will make you a vegetable if you fail.
>>158968 I think going for anything else other than clean methods like hanging, jumping, train, shotgun is just a cry for help and not a serious attempt.
Was homeschooled till I was 17, then went to high school for 2 years then college.
There was a lot of work, but not a whole lot of bullying for me. I don't know if it was because I came in late so no one could really know me. Plus I avoided a lot of the below A level classes where most of the problem kids would get kicked down to by junior year. But I was still terrified about going to school before then because I was worried about being bullied.
College was not much different, just living away from my parents different. But thank god my college had single dorms, I don't think I could tolerate a normie as a roommate.
>>158980 what do you mean by clean? He was perfectly clear in his post, those methods are lethal and the % of failing them is low. You opted for the roastie methods and failed. I believe like that poster, that you were only asking for help not actually ttrying to kill yourself.
Dumb hicks always kicking the shit out of eachother.
A few entitled chip on their shoulders having niggers (or at least one).
Dumb fuck teachers that blamed us students for their lack of sound teaching ability instead of themselves where the blame actually belonged.
Dumb whores constantly getting STD's and unwanted pregnancies from their Chad.
Mean little viscious Mexcrement exchange student from Mexifornia that I remember and am telling you all about now as this little turd just stuck in my memory for some reason. He was a short little fucker who may of been gang affiliated while in Mexifornia and always had an ugly scowl on his tiny burrito sucking face. He was shorter than a manlet too. Fucker couldn't of been above 5'0 yet carried himself like he was a 7ft tall swole as fuck prison nigger that did not fear anybody. Anyway I'm sure this little dirtbag is probably dead now. No, he never did anything bad to me nor did we as far as I remember ever speak one word to eachother but I always found the little fucker to be somehow fascinating in the same sense a scientist studies chimps and other animals and is probably fascinated by them so as to get involved in that line of work.
Anyway I digress.
School was shit and I dropped out in 10th grade, became NEET and never looked back.
Realized very early on that I could also just not go and then I did exactly that. Regardless of the consequences for my future I think the peace that that decision gave me has been so incredibly worth it.
It was shit, but I was still young, had hobbies I enjoyed and my future didn't seem so grim. I can't imagine trying go to to uni or something like that at my age now, seems like hell.
Never liked it too much. I got good grades early on and it was suggested I skip a grade because my reading level was very advanced (I read a lot at home), but soon the work became demanding and I showed no interest in applying myself to it. Barely graduated high school barely ever doing assignments and often sleeping in class, then did a few years of community college at my parents request (one of the most depressing times of my life) and then dropped out never to return
I was very good at school at first but fell off because I got bullied and became depressed. I stopped trying and would skip class and pretend to be sick so my parents would let me stay home. Eventually I beat most of the dudes picking on me but the damage was already done, I hated school and social interaction and only want to stay in my room playing video games.
>What was your school life like? being an IQ 127 faggot, school was always rather easy for me. Never had to put in much effort to get decent grades. Did well academically even. People think I was some genius or something. But the problem was that I never fit in with the normalfags. On top of that I was a crybaby and that got me the image that everyone can fuck with me and bully me. >kindergarten The life of the immigrant kid in the west. You are different. You talk different and act different. You don't fit the normalkids. I was the kid that was picked on by the twin brothers that were one year older than me I cannot remember why. Then this other faggot locked me away in a plastic tube or tent no idea what it was. I also had 2 kids that I always played lego with. 2 other immigrant kids >1st grade, 2nd grade I can remember again, 2 kids that I got along with. One liked the same tv show that I liked mummies alive. The other one was some crazy kid always doing rascal shit and we both liked Capri Sun. Since 1st grade there was this spaghetti thot that hated me with a passion for no reason. She was the embodiment of stacie. I never did her any wrong and I never understood where the hatred came from. With the other kids I never got along really. They would always group in big packs, go play socccer. I sucked at soccer anyways. >3rd, 4th, 5th grade I was never popular but had at least 2 or 3 kids I could hang out with. One guy was a Sanic fan like I was. He also liked Spiderman. In class we were all on good terms with each other so it felt really harmonic. There was cliques but it was rather neighborhood based. Who lives near each other would form groups. I would trade pokemon cards with the other kids on the school yard and there was one kid who introduced me to anime. I did not have friends but there was also nobody bullying me so it was okay. I fell in love with a succubus from class but soon I understood about the class dynamics and that she only wanted to be with the popular boys, even if we were at good terms and bench neighbors.
>junior high school here is where I did not understand the world anymore. Cliques formed and it was clique wars. I was member of none of course. People of all cliques started to hate on me for being an animefag (even those who have been themselves just a few months ago in 5th grade). One faggot vandalized my sports bag. I was the receiving end of jokes, along with the other class weirdo. The spaghetti thot was in my class again and dedicated her life to ruin mine whenever she felt like it. The worst thing about bullying is that feeling when you are trapped. You wake up in the morning knowing exactly this faggot is gonna fuck with you again and there is nothing you can do. There is no escape.
But there was even worse in the parallel class. There was an obese succubus that got bullied every day. She had an official death note. The only thing that made it bearable was that my cousins were at the same school and 2 of them were known as troublemakers and with the other one I would usually hang out in breaks or after school. I was just glad when junior high was over. >trade school instead of academic high school I went to learn a profession. People at class were decent. Coworkers as well. Instructors too. I was happy because my past experience from junior high ruined me and taught me to never trust anyone so this was kind of a relief that people were okay with each other. There was cliques based on interests but everyone got along with each other in the end. It felt a little like 3rd-5th grade again.
I also tried the uni meme but I alienated myself from the world completely by that time already. I was 24 and the youngest fags were 19 and I had no connection to those and basically I would just go to lectures and exams and nothing else. Quit after 2 years because there was no future for me there anyways.
Elementary school wasn't bad. I was one of the better students in the class. Middle school (Grade 6-8) was hell as there were a bunch of slavic gangs around that bullied me and other people. The police had to actually step in before they stopped. High school was alright but nothing special.
I was always picked on but it wasn't too bad, I had a small group of friends when I was real young just through association but by high school they all drifted away and never really liked me in the first place cause I seemed to only get invited to what they were doing when someone made them do so. High school was when I started to become completely invisible and had some fleeting associations with people. It was pretty tame overall, shit didn't really hit the fan in my life completely until 2012-2014 a year after a graduated.
>>159482 (Mod fuck you, you deleted my reply) Saved because off topic but if anyone knows about the artist, I'm curious why is that succ making that face and the pigs seems to have weird reaction faces as well.
I obtained multiple degrees and postgrad degrees, dropped out several times, debated suicide, was humiliated, always by myself, would be laughed at if I tried to reach out to people, and never was invited to even entire school program parties where everyone else was. Even my teachers would purposely humiliate me, and advisors would stop helping me and not answer communications. It was magic. Humans are amazing and wonderful.
Dropped out to play DAoC all day when I was 12 or 13, and never went back because WoW came out 3 years later. I'm 32 now, family is rich so I will never be forced to get a regular job; as a matter of fact I'm going to administrate my dad finances when he gets too old for that shit. Dropped videogames as well some years ago, nowadays I just travel to remote places where life is cheap and get royally fucked up with a vast assortment of mind altering substances. Let's see how it goes
Had to switch to online schooling. Nobody ever said anything directly to me, but all my friends stopped talking to me, and I couldn't handle the public isolation. I felt like a sole animal at a fucking circus. Online schooling let me switch my socialization online, for better or for worse, and helped me pull myself out of depression.
>>158524 I got in fights with teachers and students a lot, sometimes verbal, sometimes physical. I got kicked out of schools several times and flip flopped from homeschool to public school off and on. Eventually I dropped out altogether at the middle of my 3rd year of highschool, and never looked back. I remember the moment when I was sitting at my computer and I felt myself break free from the remaining fragments of a desire to be valued by anyone else in any way shape or form. It was weird, and I was scared at first thinking that I would no longer be able ti go back even if I wanted to, but I was never really more than halfway part of their world in the first place. It was a natural step. Almost a decade later and I don't feel any regret. I've been homeless more than once, but it's better than being employed.
>bullied by classmates >bullied by teachers >no friends >mute >hardly ever went due to bullying and isolation >never attended graduation because fuck them >haven't spoke with anyone from there since graduating >two classmates of mine have already died, one due to car accident and one by suicide >i get happy when I find out one of my classmates have died
I would have happily killed everyone there and I still fantasize about killing my old teachers. Now I work as a security guard for 2 days out of the week, which I fairly enjoy. All I do all day is shit post on chans and play video games. Probably going to suicide in the future at some point.
>>159682 Sometimes I wonder what it would have been like to have had an innocent fun childhood. It seems like a decent amount maybe a majority of Wizards look at it as the calm before the storm. While for me it was the worst period of my life, and everything later was relatively better.
>>158524 Up to elementary school I had a pretty normal school life. I actually had a lot of friends back then. More friends than I've ever had in my life. At the end of elementary school though, we made a huge move for my dad's work. I couldn't really recover socially, and instead of coping, learning to socialize, and make new friends, I just talked to my old friends on the phone and played Runescape with them. I kinda sorta made one friend but he was super distant and didnt really care about me. The schools in this area were super dumpy and easy so grades weren't a problem thus far. In the middle of middle school though, we made another move. Not as big, but still to a city about an hour away. Not that it mattered I didnt really have friends any more anyway. However the new middle school I went to was much nicer, and the classes were way harder. First time I ever started getting Fs and Ds, literally started crying in front of my teacher and mom during a parent teacher conference. Still didnt have any social skills so… not really any friends, basically stuck to some online forums. High school was similar. Not bullied, just ignored, and again I haven't recovered in terms of grade from middle school, so I didnt do well at high school either. I didnt know how to make friends or talk to strangers so I just played Pokemon and talked in online chatrooms. My parents, of course, were utter retards and pushed for me to goto community college anyway despite my doing dogshit in high school up until the very end. Went to a local community college and flunked out after 2 years of bullshit (pretty uneventful college life. went to a local community college, and learned how to socialize a little better i guess). NEET'd it up for maybe 6~ months after, then started working for 4-5 years, and now I'm giving college another shot though its not going well.
After that I went to a private Catholic school for elementary and middle which was kind of awkward because my parents are both atheists, but I guess it was better than other schools in the area. Also we had to go to church at least once a week - more when it was a holiday - which was pretty boring.
Elementary school I was the quiet kid but still social enough to participate in playground games. Teachers fed me some bullshit about putting me in an advanced class because I was really good at reading for my age but I don't think that ever happened, I just got to read harder books than everyone else when we had reading time or whatever. There were a few succubi interested in me, one succubus randomly mailed me her picture and another put a note on some valentine saying she wanted to kiss me. I was oblivious to that stuff at that age though so I was baffled by the first thing and kind of disgusted by the second.
Towards the end of elementary and into middle school I started becoming more asocial. At recess rather than playing I would pace around making up stories in my imagination - usually extensions or alternate versions of games I was playing at the time or a book I had read, occasionally something original, or some omnipotent fantasies about mass killing. Also stopped believing in god, I had pretty much always thought of him as 'magical sky man who grants wishes if you pray hard enough' as a kid but even then I think I was pretty aware that all the stories they fed people were bullshit.
Last few months of my final year in middle school I did something that kind of made people hate me by skipping when I was supposed to play some role in a play. I didn't really give a shit at that point though. I remember standing at the gay little graduation ceremony they held and accepting some medal for highest grades while thinking about how much I couldn't wait to go home and play games (I had just gotten a computer that week).
High school, I went to a public school in another state. Was pretty asocial although beginning of freshman year there were a few kids who were trying to be friendly with me (looking back I suspect a few of them were gay) and I kind of got dragged along with them. At lunch I sat with them and watched 2 nerds play chess every other day. I only had 2 classes with these guys though and our lunch times were different depending on the day so most of the time I was alone.
At one point I got called to some succubus's office and she basically told me she was a suicide prevention counselor or something like that. I'm guessing they called me in because I was kind of aloof and looked tired all the time (after school every day I'd immediately go into playing video games and then stay up late watching anime or fapping, I usually slept less than 6 hours). She gave me some flyer for a youth group which I just took and then left. I never got called to her office again but she me in the hallway once later that year and questioned me on how things were going. At the end she asked me something like "Are you happy?" which I just said yes to because I wanted her to fuck off.
After freshman year I was completely alone, pretty much just did what I had to in classes, worked with people if necessary but never tried to or allowed them to get closer than that. Sitting alone at lunch, there were these security guards who were always around campus patrolling, one or two would always be in the lunchroom and they'd try to strike up conversation with me sometimes, just small talk. I don't if they felt bad for me or if they thought I was a potential school shooter. Maybe both. Outside of school I pissed all my time away on games, anime, or imageboards. Towards the latter half of senior year I started programming and learning Japanese.
Uni, nothing worthy to note other than that it's been a waste of time and money. Most years I skipped just about every class session to teach myself the material and only showed up for midterms and the final.
I was bullied in every school. After years I hate myself for my passivness. That I didnt try to change school for better one, or to fight back with aggresion.
But bullying in high school could easile be avoided. If only I wouldnt listen to my mother… She choosen class for me with some radical normies and extroverts
High school for me was actually amazing. We were in a relatively small and close community, so I actually did have some friends there and did have fun being an outcast with them.
College was a living hell right from the start. I left my bubble and got destroyed.
>>159901 >Weightlifting class I always have been very slender so people where already making fun of me expecting that I'll be shit at weightlifting. I remember going to that class incredibly stressed out, I did not do any kind of sport for the 3 last years. So I started lifting weight and I put lots of weight on there to not look weak, I was worried because people were whispering next to me while I was exercicing so I kept adding more weight. Turns out I lifted way too much and for way too long and managed to impress the whole class instead of embarassing myself You gotta start believing in miracles
Dropped out in senior year. Towards the end of my time there I would skip entire school days by sitting in a bathroom stall or just walk out of the building and walk several miles back home if it wasn't too hot out.
>>158524 English is not my first language, so sorry for the shitty writing. I just want to get things out. >Junior high The same class, same people through 4 grades. Have 1 close friend from elementary in class (let's call him Mark). 6th grade pass normally. For the remaining time, start from 7th grade, the class divided to 3 groups: the big brains, the bad boys/succubi, the rich kids. Me and my dude doesn't belong in any group. Tried to fit in but no avail. Mark got mentally bullied so naturally I got ignored too. Did got into fight and win so no one physically bully me and my friend. Start being into anime/manga in 8th grade, so I had something to cope with being an outcast, while Mark was heavily affected by it. My mother died in this time period. I fucking hate my school and my class with a passion. >High school Same class with the same people throughout 3 grades (that how school is where I live). I was lazy and stupid so got ranked the second worst student in class, and the worst one is someone with actual brain problem. Managed to befriend with 1 dude (not Mark), being a "dirty pair" with our sex joke and bullshit we take from the internet, plus my knowledge in obscure ecchi anmime and hentai. Got into fights a lot. The most ridiculous one is a bad boy from another class mistook me for someone who stole his girlfriend. It was a fucking big fight, still don't know how I got out of it with only 1 cut above the eye. I don't hate this time period, just feels empty. >University Got into a private university. Being fucking lazy and stupid, I lost 6 years of my life to graduate from this shit hole. This uni is fucking greedy I tell you. The students from my year had to riot against their scummy business practice. I got blacklisted for being in and failed many many subjects because of this. Still stay until the end because I need a degree for my family (I'm Asian btw). Got into fight with an exchange nigger, but didn't fight back because this scummy uni would expel me instead of the nigger to save face.
Currently jobless. Don't know what to do with a hollow degree, I might be a blue collar worker in the near future.
>>159034 This has been a terrible revelation for me. This one guy in high school would threaten to beat me up if I didn't ditch classes with him. I would get so nervous walking past the gates at lunch time. But soon I began doing it on my own as an easy coping mechanism for the stresses of being surrounded by normalfags and their social jungle circle-jerking that I had grown to hate. Eventually my parents would drop me off at school and I would immediately walk straight home and sleep on the porch until they arrived to let me in and play World of Warcraft. Then in community college, I would start going for a few weeks but eventually, the same behavior happened. College was NO different than high school because it was full of animals and trash who loudly bragged about hating classes, having sex, and they even smoked marijuana on campus secretly.
I would find a quiet corner of the school and just sleep there, waiting for my mom to pick me up, and soon was dropped from my classes. I have attempted to go back over 6 times and I can't do it. I end up sleeping or walking to the back alley of a 711 for some peace from the noise. I wish I never developed awareness of just "walking away" because I really want a college degree. I want it just to say I have one and I know that is irrational but it is how I feel. I have always been irrational and made dumb decisions I can't really explain. You aren't supposed to walk away from obligations; you're supposed to finish them, good or bad, and evaluate what you do from there. But I can't do that. I can't progress. And being a NEET is great but at the same time, I'd rather be a NEET with a degree.
>>159034 >Realized very early on that I could also just not go I had a 23% attendance rate my first year of highschool because I would only show up to class on thursday/friday to take tests. The rest of the time I spent playing WoW until the principal got wind of what I was doing.
I only had 1 failing grade and it wasn't even my fault. I signed up for spanish 1 which was suppose to be for people with NO EXPERIENCE speaking spanish but instead the class was ALL MEXICAN AMERICANS except for just me. If I had a dollar for everytime the teacher had to stop a student because they were pronouncing words in spanglish and not proper spanish I could have bought a gun to shoot myself with. Needless to say that class moved so quickly that I gave up entirely in the first two weeks.
Anyways I remember the day that I got called to the main office to have a sit down with the principal. He gave me two options, start showing up to class or drop out, there was no need to even think about my answer. A week later my parents enrolled me in a high school homeschooling program that was all correspondence based through mail.
Primary and middle school was ok, I had no friends but people left me alone and were respectful. In high school I was "bullied", but I didn't care as it was mostly verbal/non-physical. I dropped out of school before year 10.
i was a delinquent that was "popular" at school for being willing to get sent to the principal's office/get suspended. i hated school even more than i hated being at home with my abusive father, so i took any opportunity to get out. i even physically assaulted a few kids i didn't have a problem with just to get out of school. (this was in elementary/junior high. i stopped getting physical with people when high school begun because they start calling 911 on you then.)
i also liked to tear down school banners and advertisements for book fairs and stuff and crumple them up and piss on them. i would wipe my butt and throw it on the ceiling in the bathroom where it would harden up there so often that the ceiling was more dirty toilet paper than wood. i would get in a stall next to someone taking a shit and pee on their pants and then run away before they can get out to see who did it. my favorite pass time was throwing stuff from my backpack at a certain targeted individual over and over and over and over for hours until they eventually snap and start crying. (my targets were at complete random so don't think i'm some normalfag picking on wizkids. i was raised on jewish television and i was completely blind to people's differences until i was 20 years old.) if i was successful enough at it, i would enter school with a full backpack and leave with it completely empty. like throw every single piece of paper out of a notebook at someone. if the teacher was negligent enough, the classroom floor would be filled with garbage after my work was done.
it was quite fun when i reflect on it. the chaos. but note that i put "popular" in quotations. it's because while the schoolchildren do find this chaos amusing and wish to witness it, they knew hanging out with me would be trouble. so they would often get traitorous and snitch on me happily when the chance arose, none of them ever had real conversations with me, not a single person ever hung out with me outside of school (apart from birthday parties in which you were required by the school board to invite every person in the class or else you aren't allowed to have a party), etc.
>>160033 Come to think of it you don't really see many people who aren't uncomfortable with this sort of personality even on anti-social internet forums. I didn't go quite as far as you but it was more or less similar with me starting shit with everyone imaginable, in fact I actually preferred being in school simply because there was so much rigidity to use as a foil for my anti-social feelings. So kids sort of thought I was entertaining and liked watching me do stupid shit but they also avoided being friends with me. I still don't know whether they were laughing with me or at me. I haven't changed a bit but because I don't interact with society anymore, I don't do much.
>>160039 I see you've mistaken a desire to destroy and mock social existence with a desire to compete and struggle within social existence. Causing inconvenience for normalfags is its own reward. What's wrong? Certainly you don't feel threatened by harm done to society?
>>160039 i was diagnosed with schizoid personality disorder. tl;dr i have good social skills and can fit in fine, but i choose not to because everyone is boring and retarded and i'd rather hang out in my weird fantasy universes. whenever i talk about schhizoid, it sounds pompous and like i'm trying to be a badass and i feel embarrassed. but it's true.
also after high school, my mom let me be unemployed for four years, and the isolation gave me agoraphobia. even if i wanted to reenter society, i'm too fucked in the head now. i can still converse with people when i have to and they think i'm normal, but then i go home and crash and have stomach pain from the stress for two weeks type of thing.
I forgot if I posted in this thread already, all post again anyway, I wish I was still in grade school, the freedom was awesome, all I had to do was spend a little time at school then I got to come home and play video games all night without a care in the world, parents didn't expect me to get a job or anything either, they would ask me how I did at school and I'd say good and that's all they needed from me
I got my GED. I was relentlessly bullied and I never really even learned anything in school. I learned more being homeless than I ever learned in school.
>>158524 Elementary school was mostly fun. 6th grade was not and I got expelled for threatening to shoot a kid. Best decision of my life, was homeschooled after.
started state university at 18. dropped out after 3 semesters. returned multiple times for a semester at a time sometimes finishing, sometimes not. finally got medicated, stopped abusing street drugs and a senior finishing my bs in finance.
>>160058 Elementary: Alright, the only regret i have was constantly wearing pants instead of jeans. My own cousins had to get me to be active. The worthless male of my dad didn't give a shit. Middle School: The cracks of not being raised healthy start to show.I was a clown character in school but I still got by being somewhat respected. I am no longer active. Junior High: It cracks I am peak waste-man, everything wrong with me is shown. A huge revelation came upon me, showing me that these friends I had could give a shit less about me. I had to realize that the world was run by Use. I tried my best to convince my parents to relocate, I wanted to come back with a bad ass redemption. I was ignored and given the excuse that we're poor, despite the fact that my uncle would have accepted me. High School: I am a husk.This thing breathing is not me. This sentient flesh and skin is the work of my parents. I of course hoping my parents could change, started to spout ideas to release my creativity. they did not help. I was left on my own, and since I had a record of not putting effort my ideas never came to fruition. As a matter of fact I don't know what I even like since I wan't allowed to explore my self. I ended up graduating prematurely as a junior at a special ed class. I could have graduated normally if my parents allowed me to transfer. The special ed class was bullshit, I am mentally sane.
After graduation I just stuck to being a shut in. Even if I wanted to move out, my parents would just tell me to get a job even though they know I have social anxiety because of them. It's like they're taunting me, re affirming that I am their slave. I honestly could care less what others think of me, they can call me obese smelly loser and they would be right. I am those things. I just have been conditioned to not improve. I still have some hope that I could get out of this state and live life as a comfy shutin.
>>160391 Yep, there was a small bathroom in an out of the way area of my school that was seldom used, I was able to go there and be completely alone most of the time.
>>160391 I was lucky enough to attend a school that was in the countryside so while everyone was doing whatever they did I just sat by the window and stared at the trees and birds
>>160391 I did it during my freshman year of high school. I sat in stalls when the library was closed for whatever reason. Could stand being in the cafeteria.
>>160391 i was locked in a closet for lunch, and for all of the school day for that matter, in 6th grade. that's all i remember of lunch. it was like a super detention because i was delinquent and got straight F's. maybe i will try to file a lawsuit against that school. Playa Del Rey Elementary. i wasn't the only one who was locked in there, some special ed kids they didn't want to deal with were, too. i can't even discuss it more than that because it's too traumatic.
My experience is pretty okay despite being a loner most of the time. I just wish my lazyness didnt get the better of me. I also regret the fact that I didn't practice sports and didnt participate in clubs that could have made my experience better. I could have made some friends trying out new things, but my lazyness and lack of action took hold of me
>>160757 >>160757 >I also regret the fact that I didn't practice sports and didnt participate in clubs that could have made my experience better. I could have made some friends trying out new things wizchan 2019
Nothing I can realistically complain about, I guess. The best way I can describe it is "uneventful". I went, I learned, I went home, and I immediately crashed. The moment I was home it was like I threw myself into whatever would take my mind off the day, and I had a lot of trouble with homework because of it.
The one thing that sticks out to me was my unwavering inability to talk in front of the class. I remember one time we had a substitute teacher for math. It had become know for one reason or another that I was good at math. I had even got in trouble for teaching some dumb jock an easier way to solve a particular equation, because the class wasn't supposed to learn it yet. Anyway, I was pressured into teaching the class that day, and I must have been the most shaky-voiced, autistic teacher on the planet. Ended up dropping out not a little over a year after that. Should have just done it sooner. Still don't have a GED.
>>158524 blog inbound. you've een warned, don't read it if you're just gonna complain about it. >fit in okay up until highschool, didn't get bullied, although most of my class doesn't know who i am >mom makes me go to a trade highschool so i have to leave all my friends >only friend i stayed in touch with turned out to be a flaming faggot so i had to ghost him >he would always come on to me but i was a very late bloomer so i didn't catch on and thought he was just weird because he did it in this playful way like he was just joking around >freshman and sophomore year get bullied ceaselessly >freshmen year is the worst because of exploratory, which basically means every day you have to go through a new shop with a randomized group of kids, so you're literally fucked if you're not outgoing >also you go to these shops with the junior year kids, and they basically just shit on you >then you pick six shops and spend a week each in them, again with random classmates >key point: become a mute autist during this period. completely have zero personality, i am destroyed psychologically. i don't even remember any of it in detail. >everyone in my shop shits on me (electrical) >never really made any new friends until sophomore year once we were settled in as shops >it ends up being very tribalistic, you end up in a shop with like 5-15 other guys and you spend every other week with them and no one else, so eventually i kind of warm up to them and start fitting in >boosted by this tribal energy, i become really fucking good at bantz and getting bantzd because of all the bullying which made me stronger and fueled my overall power level >start shitting all over the lgbt kids as well as everyone who crosses me >become known for being a "savage" >still never hang out with anyone after school hours or anything, still separate from them, but not completely ostracized anymore >spend junior year shitting on people, eventually gets really bad and i'm a straight up bully >get suspended for bullying the gay kid, get suspended for spitting on a black kid, get threatened with prosecution for hate crimes by police officers >also got in trouble for calling the holocaust guy who came to talk to us a fraud (never even heard of /pol/ or chans by this period, it was just because of his bullshit story) >we kept crossing lines until we eventually had to completely lay low and stop all bantz entirely >keep in mind all of this has a patina of "construction worker" over it because of the school, so i'm learning to vibe with that >everyone is always wearing carhartts, high-vis shit, those work shirts with the logo on the back and on the front breast pocket, also its in massachusetts so we all speak in a boston accent as a joke because its funny >anyway by senior year, puberty has done me very well and i could probably pass as an attractive guy if i weren't so fucked up >this junior chick gets interested in me somehow and the place in society which i have carved out for myself comes crashing down due to me being completely inept with females >i won't elaborate because thats a whole different story, but i'm still a virgin and nothing remotely romantic happens >end up getting shit on for what happens >my fellow electricans don't shit on me for it, they just think the whole situation is funny >as a result, i'm shut off from pretty much everyone but the electricians and the plumbers and i look like a total fucking creepy weirdo to everyone but them cause they know me and know i'm just semi-autist >graduation on the horizon and i don't have any close friends >become painfully aware that i will not being talking to any of them after graduation >right before we go our separate ways, one guy from my shop and i start making plans about growing weed off in maine somewhere to make a ton of money >me and him had already tried a couple of retarded get-rich-quick schemes, one of which was panning for gold in some river in new hampshire, which obviously did not "pan" out and that basically set the stage for my post-highschool life right there. no friends except this one guy and another guy who we hung out with occasionally and we were both complete retards who thought we were going to get rich off of drug money. to this day i have no idea where he is, i havent seen him since i bought him a fucking sailboat. he sailed off into the blue i guess. thats a whole other story right there, though. he was my only friend and i haven't seen him in two years. i haven't talked to anyone besides old fucks at work and cash register people for two years. looking back i can really see how a lonely loser like 14-year-old me got shaped into the chain-smoking alcoholic blue collar wagie/angry chan autist that you see before you today.
Dropped out, in some grades i had zero friends, used to draw faces on my fingers and talked with them, kinda like imaginary friends.. but as a teenager.
>>160872 Crab is a wordfilter for involuntary celibate. When people say something is "crabby" they mean the topic or poster is probably obsessed with getting a girlfriend or dating websites and shouldn't be on wizchan, or will reveal themselves later in the thread as being one or a non-virgin when they get angry. It's kind of a shitpost to say it and doesn't add to the discussion much.
>>158524 It was a Hell on Earth, especially in Middle School. High School was a tad bit better, but I still resented every moment of it.
My grades were always fairly average. I definitely did better in Highschool, but only because I tried to actually give a fuck, and by Senior year, that level of giveafuckness went way down. I still managed to maintain a GPA of roughly 80% for all four years, but it wasn't really all that special, especially since there were others who performed way better than me.
I also never scored socially in school. I did technically have a couple of friends, but I rarely hung out with them outside of school and they were far and few in between.
I'm kinda glad I'm in college now. My grades aren't great, but honestly, it's to be expected at this point. Plus, I'm not living in an environment where social isolation is treated like an illness.
Throughout most of grade school, I had some of the highest if not highest grades in school. I had a lot of people I talked to, but I'm not sure if they could have been considered friends. I think they just talked to me because the school was so small and there was only so many people one could have a conversation with. Like today, I never spent any of my free time outside of my room. I'm still in university, but I'm doubting whether or not if someone who did poorly in school can be considered an outcast. Being smart (or at least just getting good grades) makes one hated by others. If I had gotten worse grades, I would have been popular. Getting bad grades (and better yet being a dropout) makes you really cool in the eyes of a lot of people. So to anyone ITT that didn't/doesn't perform well in school, you should use that in conversations more. People will like you as you'll be seen as a badass.
School was pretty decent to be honest, no bullying or really traumatic experience. The real trauma came from the family life lol, that was really fucked up
>Elementary school the only thing i can remember from back then is getting scammed of pokémon cards multiple times including one which is now worth >100$ >higher level secondary school I'm from Germany and after elementary school there are multiple school levels and i went to the highest one for 4 years i really failed at that one simply because i wasnt paying attention in class, didnt really study, i just didnt give a fuck, the teachers hated me additionally and wanted our class to suck eg. by collecting homework in the lunch break where most of us wanted to do them. I also missed a few classes because i had epilepsy at the time and had to stay in the hospital >lower level high school I changed the level because i sucked too hard. Then magically i was one of the best students in the school, didnt change anything about my ways though. I was suddenly perceived as the intelligent kid instead of the stupid one. its quite common in my family to suck in the first years of school and getting better with no reason in the latter ones. >high school Because i was pretty good at the latter second level i appended high school to that to get a higher school certificate, also because i didnt know what to work as. I'm currently in the last year of that and now have to worry about what comes after. I'm also doing fairly well now but still have to look for a job after the coming graduation. I would rather live as a NEET than becoming some wage slave but first I have to figure out how to do that. I will probably work for some years and live really minimalistically to hoard some money and letting my money work for me later. Not sure how or if that will work out though.
>>161906 Fellow kraut here. I went for the same approach as you during school but managed to stay in the Gymnasium (most advanced high school level for foreigners) and graduates with a 3.0 average. I didn't know what to do whatsoever and kind of just ignored the issue because my parents pressuring me was paralyzing. Two or three weeks before start of Uni I simply applied to a random course in a nearby city and am now in the 7th semester. It's sociology btw which is not only boring and gay but also useless. Things I didn't consider or cared for at the moment of my choosing. After next semester I will likely have to enter the job market with the same practical knowledge I had at the end of high school and again I will just choose whatever once the time comes.
my school life was actually pretty tame, I was bullied a bit but it was nothing compared to my insane parent and the constriction on my life from that. I almost got held back for failing math too much but that was only my last year of high school. I want to go back in time and do it again surely something I could have done may have avoided the years of shit after at least to the extent they were.
>>159971 so the spics sign up for spanish class to get an A+ for no effort? they are smart as fuck the average white boy would be bored to death learning his own mother tongue in school
Does anyone else still feel the same way they did in school? Like, you still feel like you're going, even if you graduated years ago? I guess waking up early and leaving the house to go somewhere so noisy and stressful for years upon years has been burned into my memory. I still get nightmares that I'm going to be late for school, or nightmares where I forget to study for a test, and fall behind.
>>163309 yes. haven't been in school since 2011 but still feel like i'm going there every day. especially when my mom is driving me to work. when i was in high school, i dreaded going to school so much that the drive there made me feel like i was being driven to an internment camp to be tortured or something. and the drive to work is no different, same torture, new setting. >>163309
I guess I was a normie up until 5th grade or so. I had a neighbour that was the same age as me, and we had always hung out together ever since we were small. I also had another friend that I would constantly hang out with for many years. In 5th grade I started to become less popular and I stopped hanging out with friends after school. I would just watch TV or play games at home. We moved right before 8th grade started.
8-10th grade was ok, I actually had some friends. These weren't exactly true friendships though, it was more like I was an amusing weirdo that they found to be entertaining.
11th grade is the start of gymnasium in my country, so we switch schools. The whole "amusing weirdo" thing came to an end here, and I was now an outright loser/loner. I remember the first day at school, when the class first met together. Everyone started forming cliques immediately, like, instantly. It's like I was too socially retarded to keep up at this point, I didn't even understand what the hell was going on. People really started to suck around this age I noticed, the normgroidness really started to kick in. Even former classmates of mine that went to the school started changing their behavior, and we stopped talking to each other mostly. My grades went to shit because the subjects started to become way more difficult in gymnasium compared to earlier. I never did any homework and paid no attention in class, which didn't work anymore.
I started skipping school a lot, something I'd never really done before. My mom was unemployed and would scream at me if I didn't go to school. I would sometimes go out into a forest instead of going to school. In 13th grade I had plans of going homeless after being yelled at by my mother one day, I packed up some stuff and left. My parents called the police and had them come and pick me up. I now became a NEET instead.
I went back to school at age 21 to learn a trade. Trade school here is an alternative to gynmasium, so it was basically the same damn thing all over again. At this point I couldn't really give less of a shit about making friends or socializing (whereas before that stuff still bothered me). I stayed by myself and appreciated being left alone. I still hated being there though.
>>158524 I was homeschooled from age 5 to age 18. I was pretty much doomed to be a strange guy/loner from the start. On the bright side my lack of a social life led me to be a good programmer since that was one of the only things I could do with my spare time
>>158524 Elementary: Was that quiet, sometimes annoying kid. I had a few friends but my parents kept moving my school because getting in trouble and having mental breakdowns in class.
Middle: 7th grade was when I started being bad, skipping school, drinking, being friends with gang members. I got in a lot of trouble because I liked to cause chaos. This was also when my mental illness really started showing, I did things like torture animals, tic, suicide attempt, and have invasive thoughts. 8th grade was when I really just stopped giving a shit and did whatever I wanted. Disrupting class, leaving, fighting with administration, beating kids up, and doing drugs in school. At this point everyone stayed away from me because they were scared. My mental illness got really bad, and after winter break I was expelled and sent to a school for mentally ill kids. After about a month I was also kicked out of that one and sat at home for the rest of the year.
High: I started 9th grade in a state sponsored special school. Those few months were uneventful and I just behaved well so that I could leave. From there I was transfered to a special program inside of a normal highschool. The rest of my year was okay and my time was split between the program and regular classes. The only people who I talked too were also part of the special program because normies wouldn't look at us. The next year my mental health flared up again and was hell until I dropped out and got my GED.
>>158524 I dropped out near the end of 10th grade and got my (post 2014) ged. I worked a job for a while but eventually my mental issues got the better of me and I quit. I've been NEET for 6 years.
I went to school normally, up until the last stage of elementary school (Grade 6), where I suffered a nervous breakdown due to the anxiety disorder I suffered from at the time and still suffer from, as a matter of fact. As a result, I completed Grade 6 with a specialized tutor/teacher on a one on one basis at the city's main school board, away from everyone else.
My attendance during middle school was fairly sporadic. Sometimes I'd attend school normally with other kids, but just as often I'd take my school work in a separate area by myself. I had a specialized EA (educational assistant) who was always by my side whenever I was at school. In class, my EA was simply said to be an assistant to the teacher, so as not to make me stand out too much. I took all my tests separately & was pretty much only part of a traditional school setting, as in sitting in class with all the other kids, for only like 15-20% of the time during both Grade 7 & 8. All the kids ignored me and I was essentially nothing more than a ghost drifting through the halls. I also had the additional benefit of being able to leave early, so as to avoid the crowds of kids exiting/wandering the school at the end of the day, or during lunch hour. Generally speaking, this gave me more of a relaxed reign of movement to just bum about aimlessly down the empty halls of the school, which I'd sometimes find myself doing every now & again, if my EA was late or whatever.
High school was a bit interesting. For the first semester of Grade 9, I managed to attend school normally with everyone else, no EA required. It was quite weird, to be honest. For that first semester, I felt like just a normal person. My anxiety was under control and I was able to move forward without being crippled by it. I was even part of class projects, and other random activities, that I wouldn't have even dared to think of partaking in before. Once the second semester started however, I pretty much fell apart. I needed an EA again, I couldn't attend classes with everyone else again, I needed to be able to leave early again, and my attendance was pretty much entirely dependent on all the special conditions that were provided for me. As a result, I took my school work in a separate room in the school's library with my EA. Eventually though, I couldn't even get to the school itself, so I started to meet my EA at the city's local library instead, or sometimes even here at home. Well, long story short, I just barely managed to finish Grade 9 in this fashion. It was decided that come Grade 10, I'd return to school with my EA. No more meeting at a different location. Unfortunately, I never went back. My EA got swapped with another one at the last minute and, even aside from that, I'd already pretty much made it abundantly clear to my parents over the Summer that I couldn't go back to school, no matter what. Once school actually began, my mother tried to push me to go, but was already quite mentally & physically exhausted after the last number of years of having to deal with all this crap and so, very understandably, decided to give up the fight. It's only thanks to her that I could enjoy & make use of all those special conditions of mine, as in EAs and what not. She fought tooth & nail on my behalf to get me those perks. I think she realized that no matter her efforts to try & make things easier on me, it was never going to be enough. There just came a point where finally cutting me loose was far & away the better option.
And that was basically it for me. I dropped out of everything in life, post Grade 9. Been a hermit living with my parents ever since, coming on about 13 years now. To this day, I still don't posses a GED, nor do I have any plans to ever get one. My parents have long accepted the fact that this is simply what I am. They look after me & don't judge me. We're just a family sticking together and making the best of it, basically. My older brother has always been a well adjusted, successful person, who's currently a medical student, so I feel like that helps balance things out for them.
A classmate called me a Jew in German class, so I stabbed him in his temple with my Biro. He started crying after he saw the blood. I'm not even Jewish, I must of been upset at the accusation. The look on the teachers face was one of complete and utter horror.
She stormed me off to the head of year, I squirmed out of it by saying it was an accident - it was not, it was pure uncontrollable rage. I was told to go pickup my bag and report to the headmasters office. When I opened the door to the class all the students cheered and clapped.
That's pretty much all I remember of German class.
I cheated in all my Maths exams. I purchased a programmable calculator that had a mini display (Large Screen Graphical Calculators were banned). I wrote programs for every formula we were expected to know. Then I extended the programs to provide me values for showing my method. I became concerned that a teacher might spot that my calculator was programmable so I opened it up and figured out I could get the calculator to hard reset itself when shorting a specific location on the PCB. So I drilled a hole through the backplate and made a makeshift button with plasticine and a button membrane salvaged from something else. All I needed to do incase of an emergency was press the calculator against the desk.
All of that effort gained me a considerable advantage over the other students in terms of time, whilst they were busy 'figuring it out' I was already on the next question. I was never caught.
In retrospect I kind of wish I was, as no one ever found out how awesome the caper was.
>>164892 It's the one pictured. If you look at the top row you'll notice an all reset hole. Of course pulling out my Biro during an interrogation was unrealistic plus any front face modification would be below par and only serve to draw attention. I guessed there would be a trace line I could tap.
>>164889 All that effort just to avoid just learning the math. Why? I ain't even all that good at math but it was never hard enough to go through that much trouble just to avoid it.
I never had any goals or dreams for a career or anything like that. I always found school boring and uninteresting, I always had quite average grades (B & C) I guess I could have worked a bit harder, but I have a learning disability so my attention span was pretty shit. My mom nags at me all the time to go to college to get some random degree in whatever random program she wants me to go to (business, lumber, nursing, fucking mountain tourism wtf)
I kind of think the NEET life gave me perks. I am proud of having had as little education as being possible. I feel so much less restricted in thought. Not that they couldve imprisoned my soul anyways.
They hated me. Because there, in thaat kingdom.. they fear me. I rule upon them. I guess thats why even the teachers bullied me.
Idk fuck the ZOEducation system
My development however.. Sure I speak English in like 50 dialects and I am hyper social in a way due to it. But it is pointless, I cant connect. Too far.. on a difr plane
>>166581 Holy shit, you sound like an egotistical retard or an idiot larper who honestly believes that people who bully you do so solely because they're jealous.
Up to age 12 I did quite well socially, learnt how to make friends and lie about interests to fit in so I was well liked, but quiet. Then my friends bullied me for about a year, worst that happened to me I guess was being being picked up and thrown down a hill (lol). It took a while but eventually I was left alone. Then on I had no friends, my grades also dropped and I at around 14 I started to lose all interest in my passions and dreams. Someone asked me what I thought I'd be doing in the future, and I replied probably dead in my room, at the time I thought it was the normal thing and couldn't imagine how anyone could live such a mundane life of boring work and struggle for so long. I barely got my GCSE's at 16 and then ended up dropping out of college (UK-16 to 18) because of a lack of interest and depression that deprived me of any will to study or do anything, I skipped classes so often that if I didn't leave I would've been kicked out instead. That's the end of that I guess, I've been an on and off neet since then, working minimum wage jobs. My parents were always been adamant that if I didn't work I would be living on the streets. Now here I am with no direction and no hope for the future, so not much has changed.
It was alright until middle school when suddenly everything turns about sex, relationships, drama and some other ape bull that was just alien to me and just didn't click with the way I was raised. I had come from a christian home so I couldn't understand that some people were raised with different kind of values (to avoid saying no values whatsoever). Then I switched schools in the last year of middle school to some school where everyone had been friends since elementary and apparently the whole class had become experienced with the bull I already mentioned, I think it was there when I felt true loneliness and how skewed social stuff can be for the first time. My grades (especially math) took a dip, not cause the material was any harder but cause I started to ask for the first time if there was any point in doing these things. Obviously my parents got mad at me and started to blame it to the internet and video games. Cant really blame them, they were just acting from what they knew. At this point I was still hopeful the Lord would make these things go away.
Then High-school came and when I think about the whole thing as it was a 5 year (had to repeat a grade) descent from a hopeful christian kid to another depressed teenager I guess that would end up as a Wizard. I think the day they told me I had failed the second year of high school, I think that was the day when the feeling that my life wouldn't be the same as my peers finally sank. Anyway went through 2 different schools for the remaining years, I was bullied the last 2 years of it but I was too apathetic to do something about it, not like anyone was going to help anyway I already knew as much. Other than some former classmate working as a manager in a courier store I go while on errands and seeing other two in cycling events the people I went to school with may as well never existed.
After that I decided to study medicine, under the pretense that If life was worthless to me at least would make the most of it helping others, but really 6 years later (yes took me that much time) I came to realize it was just a vanity project. I didn't really care about helping others, especially when most of what you deal with could be averted if people didn't purposely fucked their lives, then again who am i to judge? I also found it dangerous someone who felt like this in position to deal with people's lives so I dropped out. It has been kinda awkward cause after all this time I had become to be known as the family physician.
This last year I have been trying to fill up my resume to make up for almost a decade gap since I graduated trying different kinds of odd jobs. The last gig was a call center I was just finishing my training when Corona-chan happened and was sent home. Funnily enough the government forced the work centers to pay for their workers while they are at home, which is less than what they usually pay us which is already not much but still its money for not working. I apologize If I went a little off-topic but writing this post was good for reminiscing.
had no friends, quiet, played sports and still got made fun of anyways, barely passed all of my classes, slept during every class, stayed up all night, had the cops called to search my house because they thought i was a potential shooter, etc
What I regret about highschool isn't so much the loneliness / isolation, but the fact I wasted so much time either playing video games which now seem so simplistic in retrospect (Call of Duty, FIFA, CS:GO, etc) or desperately trying to fit in and thus becoming an insecure people-pleaser. That desperation to please others has been something I still struggle to overcome, and it doesn't make people even like me but only pity and / or tolerate my presence. If I had just gone to the library and started reading, I would have found solace and a means to develop myself at a much earlier age. Instead I rotted in anxiety.
I was born with an eye deformity with my left eye's iris scarred. I had to wear an eye patch and children would call me pooping pirate and ostracize me. They would try to rip out my eye patch and close one eye to mock me. No one would make friends with me in fear of being ostracized too. The teacher felt threatened by me and called me a thug. My grades kept dropping because I couldn't concentrate. Maybe my willpower wasn't enough. Just thinking about it makes my eyes water but I'm never able to cry if only I didn't run out of female hormone injections. They would try to gouge my right eye out to ''make the equation equal". I later found out it was because my daddy dropped a screw driver on my eye. Why papa why. I want to cry but when I cry I think about the past trauma. I can't make eye contact not even with anime succubi. Whenever an anime succubus looks directly at the screen I avert my gaze. I'm also brain damage because they pushed me off the bleachers at some point and I hit my head real good. Elon musk can help people like me recover with brain damage with his neural link magic. I hope…….
>>166851 Anxiety is really the worse :( I remember as a teenager I used to just play Fifa all the time. Back when PS3 got hacked it ruined my 19 winstreak even.
It wasn't the worst but by the end of highschool I was a depressed edgelord "goth" faggot who did the bare minimum to get by, tried to be intoxicated or high as often as possible and thought I'd likely be dead by this age
>>158524 dropped out in 7th grade, went back later until 10th grade. never went to highschool or anything after it. never had friends, even the nerdy group of people made fun of me. i was the weird isolated kid, easy target for jokes, sometimes bullying. im glad i never have to go to school again.
>>158524 nearly killed walking home 2-3 times from, shcool, beat up at school, by a fluke i graduated, but at a shchool with no 'prom' or any kind of mainstream 'party' or any thing, nearly died again after that 2 years after, home life as disabled - big hell of 2 decades thereafter, it really never gets better.
I was a sperg with bare social skills and otherwise just voluntarily introverted (i'm so autistic i didn't even comprehend the purpose of friendship until i was 17, near grad), but i don't regret missing out on teenage relationships at all. "Romeo and Juliet" teenage sex would have been cool, but even that wasn't worth all of the gossip and other retarded high school shit either. Most adolescents are immature and more close-minded than adult normalfags and outright hate anyone with interests that aren't pop music, minecraft, class assignments or sportsball. Even the "geeks" in my school were faggots bragging about their IQ and grades despite not even knowing how to speak english or use computers. Also, teenage succubi are also fugly. Glad i just spent those years shitposting on imageboards and xmpp chatrooms instead of obsessing grades and social status.
The only thing i really regret is having wasted all those years without picking up an useful hobby, though. Fuck, i wanna be a freelance artist or musician instead of this soul sucking social wageslavery.
>>158524 i was home schooled and denied every possible childhood/teenage school-related experience and it crippled me emotionally and still echoes inside my body as a mysterious form of pain
Best years of my life, I did so many things like perform at various events with the school choir, would go back and do it all again if I could. >Middle School
Hell on earth. Always came home crying to my mom because the people there were shit and my lifelong friend turned his back on me. >High School
Even worse, even when my mom taught at the same school. During lunch I would just eat at my mom's office and watch The Electric Playground.
>Elementary School Can't remember at all. >Middle School Bullied to death. Ended up snapping, almost killing a bully, arrested 5 days later and locked inside the loony bin for six months only to get out of there worse than before. Homeschooled since them. >High School Homeschooled.
>>158654 Sadly yes, but over the years they are becoming less frequent which is a blessing. They are almost always about negative things too, never fun or happy things. These dreams would be about situations that happened years ago. I hope that I stop having these school dreams for good.
>>171368 >Ended up snapping, almost killing a bully, arrested 5 days later and locked inside the loony bin for six months only to get out of there worse than before. Homeschooled since them Could you tell your story in details? You got me interested.
>>171605 Some guy and two of his friends bullied me for two years, and I had enough. One Monday I brought a knife and to the school, when they got an opportunity to bully me when the teacher left the room I just stabbed his belly when he got close of me to punch my face as he used to do. I tried stabbed his other friends too, but they left the classroom screaming, so I got my backpack and left the room to kill the other two idiots. Since I realized that I couldn't kill the two idiots with a knife I screamed that I was going somewhere get a gun to kill many people as possible inside the school and left the school by jumping the front gate. Since the school is next to a road all I had to do was, change my school uniform t shirt for some other t shirt, get inside a bus to the rural area of my city. 5 days later, hidden at some abandoned farm only eating fish and fruits, the cops got me while I was sleeping around 10 AM. After that they realized that I was loony bin material, sent me to the hospital where they injected some anti psychotic drugs then I was straight to the loony bin.
The loony bin was annoying, I wanted to kill everyone there, but since I played their stupid games they thought I was "good". When I got home my father foresaw my hate toward him and my mother: he build a bathroom inside my room, fenced the window, changed the wooden door for some big ass iron door and successfully turned my room into some prison cell. The first 90 days after go home from the loony bin I only could leave my room once a day from 5PM to 6PM to get some sunlight, once a week to see some therapist whore (I hated her), once a month to see the psychiatrist (cool guy, I liked him, but after my father realized I wasn't going kill him and my mother he stopped let my room locked when he was out.
4 years later I was 18, got some dead end job, a driver license, started to heavy drink to endure my shitty life and now I'm a 33 yo alcoholic virgin that will probably will die before reach 40 yo.
>>171621 well at least you had the balls to actually defend yourself from the bullies. did your father have any good reason to think you would kill him and your mother? because if not, I think he was kind of a normie asshole
>>171622 I only made eye contact with my father and mother a single time after I left the loony bin while they were driving me home, and was to say: "I will never forgive you two" with. That was enough make my father lock me up for 90 days, lock the cupboards, only let me eat with spoons and also lock up my room from 8 PM to 6 AM.
I don't talk to my parents since 2008 and I don't even know if they are alive or not.
The final two years were great because I discovered and then spent all my free time watching anime, the ten years before that started out eh and just got worse as time went on.
I dropped out in the 8th grade but school when I was there was a strange experience for me. In class people would talk to me and I would talk back but at lunch time I always found myself alone.
>>171913 Thinking about this always makes me angry. Why are people supposed to spend their formative years attending a prison-like institution just so they can have the minimum requirement to compete for a wageslave job? School is not only a waste of time, it's violence against mankind.
>>171929 Well it's daycare and it's meant to make you accustomed to a regular schedule, normalfag socialization, cramming, and doing things on deadlines.
This image sums up my time in school. I was the succubus with white hair and the succubus with pink hair was the education system, sucking the life out of me.
Now it is 2020, and I am now a vampire but I escaped from the succubus with pink hair. However, she is hunting me down.
>nearly every year teachers would ask me >"What do you want to be when you get older?" >my answer was always "i don't know" >even as early as fucking 8, where most kids would just answer "Astronaut!!!" or some dumb shit >and all the way until graduation It was all there from the beginning
>>170975 >The only thing i really regret is having wasted all those years without picking up an useful hobby, though. Fuck, i wanna be a freelance artist or musician instead of this soul sucking social wageslavery. Iktf. I would travel back in time and slap videogames out of 14 year old myself.
Though if it makes you feel better, practicing a hobby early on won't guarantee you'll become a virtuoso either. It does grant a nice headstart, but i knew a succubus classmate who was a 8/10 singer. She's currently wageslaving and moved on to study something else. It's about situation.
>>172242 I was always the same. Just wanted to live an easy life, never had any particular goals. I always just ended up answering shit like “astronaut” or whatever since whatever made the most money or what was ambitious was the most socially acceptable.
Basically i was mute and never spoke a single word in the final years. Every single day i had to use a lot of tranquilizers just to leave my home and go to school. Every single day thinking about suicide or dropping out. Social phobia and paranoia made me shit my pants sometimes, but i never did that in public. The colleagues used to see me as a handicapped or something like that. I remember trying to communicate with some succubi by gestures a few times and now i can realize how pathetic i was. Despite that i was a good student, but without focus to apply for some good college, i ended up in a shitty job. I was so envy about my normie cousins going to gym and having sex with girlfriends and hanging out with friends, but always pretended i didn't care at all.
>>158524 I was pseudo-normal in elementary school. Still quiet and shy, even in first grade, but each year there were a handful of kids I would play with, nobody was really mean to me and I never got in trouble. I went to a trash school so I was the smartest kid there by a mile. Everything went to shit in high school. "A little shy" turned into completely dysfunctional levels of anxiety to the point where I had to stop at the bathroom before certain classes to throw up just so I could go inside. I didn't speak a word to anybody at all, maybe one brief exchange every month or two. Although at least I still wasn't bullied. Eventually I got so bad I literally just couldn't make myself go into certain classes anymore and I ended up dropping out during 11th grade and finishing the last two years in a correspondence program at home.
I didn't enjoy it and it felt hostile but I wasn't particularly bullied. Occasiomal insults but i was very weak more than it being bad. I had friends but I was never close to them, mostly on the edge of the friend circle listening to a CD player. I was really like a depressed ghost but I did OK schoolwork so nobody cared, teachers forgot I was there. I didn't have the complete social alienation many here report. I had retreated online by the age of 12 so I didn't really need the real world and just waited for school to end and skipped a lot of school. The depression never really ended and I don't think about school at all, I don't consider my life before 21 years old as really relevant to my identity.
School life was a mixed bag. >Elementary School My early elementary school years are fuzzy but a few things stick out to me. I remember everyone thinking I was cute, but that is probably only because I'm extremely short. I also remember giving people invitations to my birthday several times but nobody ever coming to any of them. One of my classmate's parents ran a local charity organization and gave me a bike one year for my birthday because I didn't get any gifts because poor. I remember getting an award for being the only kid in my entire state to ace a standardized test in math but I was in first grade so it's a lot less impressive. I didn't get any friends until my sixth year of school but they ended up being good buddies. I remember playing war games with them because one of my friends was a history encyclopedia. He might have been high functioning autism. >Middle School This was a hard time in my life. I first started to really tap into social situations but I was behind the curve developmentally. I didn't really know what was and wasn't ok despite having friends in the past. I was a part of the school's "honors" program (basically advanced courses) but I still felt different from everyone else in the room. I definitely wasn't smarter at the time but I was rebellious with the way I thought. I always challenged what teachers taught: the validity of their statements and such. Maybe because I was an ass hole. I never did much work because I hated school and a lot of just felt too easy/not worth my time as a kid and I would've failed if that was actually a possibility. I ended up getting put in a foster care system in my 9th year of school which only hurt me more mentally because I was suddenly ripped away from my home without getting to say goodbye or I love you for something I didn't even do. I ended up getting put back in my home but the damage was done. I could see how it affected people around me. I could see how me being gone affected the people around me. What really ended up driving home that other people also have emotions and lives was that one of my friends from elementary school started completely avoiding me (presumably because they didn't want to get hurt if I left again). Nothing else eventful really happened. >High School This was a big change. The transition only made me hate school more. Here was a place that was built up as a new environment with more choice and opportunities but there was even less. The same system of being locked in place was stronger than ever. I hated the law and order of going from place to place still choking me. I became distant to school and just quit working at all. I started failing classes which caused my father to hit me which made me hate school even more and hate living too. I also had almost no more contact with any of my friends, only acquaintances floating in and out of my life from there. I only became more socially inept. I ended up resorting to online interactions for all of my contact with other people. I had used them before, but by my twelfth year of school they were all I had anymore. This was also around the time that my mental health really began to hit the shit. Relationships with family were more stressed than ever. I ended up moving in my twelfth year, but that didn't change much other than worsening family tensions and mental health. I developed pretty awful depression that partially stemmed from OCD/OCPD. I became very anxious and loathed social situations. I probably did fine in social situations but I criticized myself especially heavily after them every single time so that didn't help me any. I graduated on time with my class because of some extra work I put in and I did manage to force in some classes I wanted to do. I graduated with honors, 3 "career pathways" completed, and 2 clubs. >After High School I got a perfect score on the SAT but haven't gone to college yet, I went a different (probably dumber) route instead.
>>172328 I left out a lot of stuff. I got bullied a lot in HS. I got suspended a lot for no reason in 8th - 10th grade. That's just what I could think up. I'm going to sleep now, good night.
>>158524 When I was younger I was autistic enough to not be aware of my unpopularity and still did well academically. As I grew up the autism increased my isolation and my grades went to hell also. My parents didn't like the grades slipping and my schoolmates didn't like me. There was nowhere to go. I think my depression and suicidal tendencies started from there. I have a mostly unhappy life now but I'd still never go back to the supposed "golden years" of childhood.
My past kinda sucks. I've already been pretty weird for others, naive and cried a lot during kindergarten and been know for one moment when succubi tried to kiss me, but I wasn't sure what she wanted to do with me so I was running away from her and I got laughed at this for a long time. I've been also called a succubus often, because I had long hair and not really short haired as other slav kids. The only good thing was that I was being protected by one normie, but good friend when someone tried to beat me, unfortunately he wasn't always around. With such reputation from kindergarten, I was already known in middle school that I was that kid who you can easily bully and make him cry. Sadly my only friend was studying in other classes so I was on my own. No one wanted to associate with me, because I've been already bullied by bullies and been called a succubus a lot there as well. I've been both physically, verbally and mentally bullied and abused and because of it, I wasn't sure how to talk with people, so on top of being a weak, I was acting weird as well and had bad hygiene. My very own name transformed into a local word that was meant "weird". I've done a lot of really cringe stuff during middle school, but I somehow managed to be in a group of people, who liked to play vidyas and some of then even watched anime, but I was still considered weird among them and wasn't very welcome. In high school, a lot of bullies left education so I could breath a little bit more easier. I've started to maintain hygiene and tried to go to sports to learn how to defend myself, but I was still had that shadow of bad reputation and just in general weirdness. At the very end of high school, I got respected by "some" people for trying to improve and etc. In the end, I really hate school, it left me mentally unstable and I've been diagnosed with chronic/clinical depression. I'm not saying any specific stories, because I had too many of them that it all transformed into one messy bad memory. My apologies if I had some grammar mistakes in this post.
>>172360 It's ok, anon, it's perfectly readable. I've been in your shoes before too. Having long hair and being a short, scrawny guy in HS ended with a lot of people calling my a tranny or faggot and I got mistaken for a succubus a lot.
>>172361 Thank you. Luckily for me I guess, I'm not short, but I've chest deformity that makes you pretty thin. I've seen that people have it worse, but I still got poked fun at it.
>>172363 I'm really short, sadly. Only 150 cm. I'm not too bitter about it, though. It made me subject to a lot of harassment, but I only get sad about my height occasionally.
>>172365 Thanks, anon. I try to be nice to others, but I've got a pretty bad problem with seeing myself as an awful person. I hope things look up for you too.
I didn't talk in elementary school except to answer questions and stuff. In middle and high school I had a few proto-friends. In middle school a place to sit in the lunch room was hard to find so I normally ate in the classroom. I used to be jealous of friendships but not of the things that people would do. I have always been a soulless husk I guess
>>158524 >get trashcanned my first day of freshman year >get wedgied in front of a bunch of succubi and put in a nelson lock in P.E. while the bald cuck teacher ignores us >don't make any friends until my junior year >drop out senior year It could've been better, glad it wasn't worse.
>kindergarten i got ostracized, never got included in games, etc. at one time there was a school trip and the quota was full. they got my name out of the list to make room for some other kid. >elementary and middle school mostly bullied, probably it was the worst time in my life. >high school never talked to anyone and people left me alone. i was a ghost.
>>158524 What was your school life like? Decent. Nothing bad aside from some embarrassing moments sometimes but everyone has them and no one remembers but you.
Was it hell? No. In some ways it was preferable to life afterwards.
Taking weight class instead of basic PE in high school was the best decision. I was tired of the endless onslaught of bullying and being skinnyfat sucked. By the time I hit junior year it had paid off, since people finally started leaving me alone. Ironically the only people who would try to start shit with me after that were scrawny wizkids.
I was a happy kid before starting school, school was terrible, first 4 years were the worst, got bullied by schoolmates and class teacher alike, parents never noticed anything, i stayed quiet. In high school i was already an antisocial pyromaniac with resentment towards humanity and academic environment, so no higher education despite possessing an analytical mind. Ok that's enough self-pity.
>1st to 3rd grade Hated by around half of my class. I wasn't that much of an outcast during this time, probably because everyone is still childish and innocent. >4th - 6th Hated by 95% of my class, the other 5% was the nerd circles full of other outcasts and whatnot but even some of them didn't really like me I feel. This is when I started to get bullied and hated even by teachers. I was always the worst in my class when it came to grades, surprised I never flunked during this time tbh. Thanks to the bad grades I got beat by my parents after every parent teacher conference and whenever they sent grades out. Was suicidal at one point and thought about running away from home before my parents got home from a parent teacher conference. >7th Grade - 9th grade Finally flunked, first year of 7th grade I was hated by 100% of my grade at this point. 2nd year wasn't as bad because I was pretty much a new student and nobody knew me thanks to flunking. Made friends with the nerd group of this new grade which lasted for about 2 years. >10th & 11th All the nerds started getting into relationships and I felt so out of place around them. I eventually stopped hanging out with them which nobody seemed to notice me being gone, that's when I knew they weren't really my friends at that point. My grades got significantly worse by this point and I went to the adult education trailer outside my school where people get their GED, mostly full of wannabe gangsters who should have been expelled. I was bullied there too and eventually just stopped going to school altogether. My only regret is not dropping out sooner, literally nothing in my life is negatively affected by not having a diploma Just a waste of 3 years years of my life.
Spent elementary and high school in a boys-only school which meant I only started being around non-relative succubi regularly during college. I never learned to talk to succubi casually and never had many male friends either.
In high school there was no bullying where I went to. So it was pretty good overall. I could even manage to crack some jokes because of that, something I rarely do. Nice times, but I know I was lucky.
I probably won't be writing anything that differs that much from the other stories here but I'll give it a try. >Kindergarten For some reason, my parents decided to send me to this, even though it's not compulsory in my country. In my country, elementary school starts at age 4/5 so I went to this place at age 2-3, so it was more like a daycare than an actual school. Supposedly, I literally never spoke while there and the caretakers who worked there actually thought I was mute. I have never been diagnosed with anything because I don't want to but I have heard that many people with autism will go through a phase like that in their early childhood. >Elementary school I was a very introverted and anxious child. I never wanted to go school and for the first three years, I would go insane and cry a lot on the first day of the school-year. I would often wet my pants because of the retarded rule they tend to have in elementary schools that you need permission to go to the toilet and can't go during specific classes. You'd think that after wetting myself nearly every week, they'd make an exception for me but no. They probably thought I was too stupid or lazy to not piss my pants and wanted to build up discipline. Later, I found out that an extremely weak bladder in early childhood is often a side-effect of being circumcised, which I an. >Middle school/High school In my country, these two are combined into one school. My country also has different levels at secondary education, which will determine if you can go to university later on or if you have to go trade school/community college. There's kind of a stereotype that only the dumbest children go to anything but the two highest levels. I myself did the highest level for my first 2 years but eventually ended up on a lower level, which caused my parents to get mad at me and take away my pc, the only thing that could give me enjoyment in life at that point. The fact that I ended up on a lower level with people that I perceived to be dumber than me also hurt my pride a lot, after having been praised as a 'gifted' kid for years who would 'go places' and get some well-paying job. Add to that, that I also was no longer in the same class as the few friends I had. I was very depressed and actually wanted to kill myself, not specifically because of school-related stress but also because at that point, it didn't seem like I had anything going for me in my life. I had no friends. The only people that I genuinely trusted and loved as a child, my parents, now seemed to hate me. Of course, I had no luck with succubi. And I didn't have high expectations for the future.
Looking back, it seems like public education is programmed to mentally break anyone but the most docile, submissive people. Rather than valuing intelligence and creativity, it expects only that you are highly extroverted and willing to dedicate all of your free time to memorizing pieces of text. I got absolutely nothing of value out of it and I am glad that it is over.
>>158524 Had extreme excema and hayfever for my entire early childhood alongside bad anger issues and all the social developmental shit that comes with spergoid binary coded brain disorder. Let me take you through: Years K-2: felt like a decade and was at minimum self esteem almost throughout. Got teased for constantly being plagued by allergic reactions to pure fucking thin air, nobody was interested in being close friends and with a Christian family this early experience doomed me to cold and bitter hatred towards God, which I cannot shake off. Got beaten up a few times but not too much, and got into plenty of trouble for fighting and misbehaving (disassociation/zoning out in class, leaving the classroom, spitting in people’s mouths) Year 3-6: When I moved from Victoria to NSW (Ausfag), got to skip year 2, which would have ramifications in HS. Anyway, anger issues escalated quickly, and with only 60 kids in the whole school my reputation flatlined and people of all walks of life lined up to wind me up and see what stupid shit I would do. Got a fowl mouth and quickly learned the more crass slurs, would punch myself in the mouth and hit wooden boards in the schoolyard out of frustration. Threatened suicide many times but never planned. Year 7-10: Underwent some drastic changes in year 6: ditched common empathy, sense of self importance, stopped responding to negative talk, learned to degrade people’s self esteem in an argument, would not grow attachment outside of established friend groups, fine tuned a sense of humour for normies and humans, started to plan my future and avoid pitfalls beyond college (loans, living in cities, consumerism, bills) and things gradually went on the up. Too tired to type the rest, but things are going better now, becoming a junior financial analyst and planning to become 100% self sufficient by 35.
I really hated the first 4 grades of the elementary school, it was like hell, and I don't remember too much from it (gypsies bullied me a lot). I know it was crap. The 5-8 I attended in another where the community was better. I missed that. High school was shit, I got bullied a lot, even by the end I was called virgin by chads. University was good, except I sucked with a lot subjects.
>>158524 Dropped out of highschool twice and finished around 3 years after my peers. I was already somewhat of an outcast when I first dropped out but changing schools obviously didn't improve the situation either. Just kept my head down, did my work and stayed out of trouble.
College hasn't changed much either, besides being forced to interact with others more often due to mandatory group assignments. The pandemic has improved things drastically though, at least I don't have to leave my home or work with other students. That being said, I've never felt as stupid and close to resigning as right now. That being said I have absolutely 0 plans what to do if I don't make it, so I somehow have to get through. (b.s. computer engineering)
>>158528 I read it. How old are you (answering approximately is fine) because when I was in 5th grade, people weren't obsessed with sex at all. It sounds terrible. Shit's fucked up. You mentioned becoming a recluse in 8th grade. I just realised that 8th grade is like a turning point look at these other stories: >>163446 >>159947 >>158921 (until 8th grade, so something changed?) >>171626 I'm not sure why 8th grade is like that.
Here's my story.
My country calls "grades" years, from Kindergarten, then Year 1 to 12. Also, I need to note that both my parents had degrading mental health the entire time, my mother plateaued with this, but my father spiralled down. And constantly had explosive rage and anger over anything, on top of being extremely unreliable.
I was bullied so badly in K-6 (Primary) school that I repeated a year, year/grade 2. I'm still angry at the teacher that made me repeat. It wasn't because I was falling behind in grades, my work was good. IT was because I 'wasn't socializing enough'. I had 3 friends, and I was really happy with them. But repeating that year meant that I was basically totally cut off from them because year 3s go to completely different part. GREAT JOB. A kid isn't socialising enough so you CUT HIM OFF from his friends. I still kept in contact with 2 of them after that, because they were good friends. But it was harder. I don't have contact with them now.
Recently, I saw a photo of me when I was 5 or 6 when my grandfather was taking me to school, and I already looked depressed, looking down at my shoes while my sister and grandfather are smiling at the camera. 2 boys tried to molest me (on separate occasions) at that first school I went to.
After that I changed schools, got bullied terribly at the next school, I literally had sloppy dog shit smeared on me. I made 1 friend there, but I didn't keep in contact with them, because I left after that year was done. The 3rd school I went to was hellish. Pretty quickly all the succubi-in-training started treating me like shit, it was hell. If you've ever been treated this way, I'm sure you can relate. It was more than the normal disdain for someone nerdy. It was extremely malicious. It was like I was made of shit, they wouldn't touch me, any of my stuff, constant looks of disgust, brutal verbal abuse. I tried to kill myself when I was 11 due to this. It got so bad that after a year and a half a teacher did something. After that it basically stopped, but I just wanted them to leave me in peace. I found out it's because shortly after I joined the school someone had spread a rumour about me, but none of them could remember what it was, they just bullied me constantly due to it having become a culture there.
Year/Grade 6 had some light bullying but I was already supremely fucked up by this time.
Year 7 was when highschool started. Bullying continued, especially as these twin boys from my first school were there and they just decided to bully me again. I attempted too. I'd never done anything to them, ever. I'd never really done anything to anyone really. I tried to keep to myself. Soon I just started walking out of class. By year 8 I was walking out of class even more often and spending time in the school library. Half way through the year I stopped going to school. They couldn't motivate me, I was too depressed. I did get out of home, I'd ride my BMX bike to the town library to get away from my crazy parents. (there's Year 8 mentioned again!) So I regard year 7 as my last real schooling. There was an attempt at distance education for what would have been grade 9, but that failed because my own father bullied me. Screamed at me for not doing work, when I had done the work. So I just stopped doing it. he couldn't bully me to do it more. I went to hospital later that year, they said that I couldn't live at home. There were some more attempts to go to school but I'll gloss over those, I left home at 15 to live with some foster parents, but after 9 months they sent me back to my real parents. I then tried again in year 10-11, but didn't complete anything and left school mid way through year 11 to go to a nearby technical/vocational college here we call TAFE. I then spent the next 7-10 years trying to complete courses there and failing every time. The first time I only failed at the end, but I didn't really realise it but I had huge PTSD from all my school experiences. I was actually damaging myself even more by forcing myself to go to this college. (The government also wanted me to go). So each year I'd drop out sooner and sooner, because my anxiety was growing stronger and stronger.
Now I have a crippling traumatic complex around school. I can't go back there, it sends me insane. I signed up for university this year, got accepted for a course that was 3 months away, and became such a giant stressball that I had to drop out with only a month before it started, because in the 2 months up until that point I'd become such a gigantic ball of stress that I was impossible to be around, I was very quick to anger too. I had to tell the university that I couldn't start the course. As soon as I did that I instantly felt relief, but it's taken me over a month to even 'recover' from that. I was in fight-or-flight mode the whole 2 months, complete with nightmares and tension headaches.
School was hell. I'm COMPLETELY uneducated in a time when there's 0 opportunities for people without educations, and I can't even get an education. TEN YEARS. TEN YEARS OF TRYING COLLEGE. FAILURE. Will it take me 10 years to sort this horrible anxiety complex out? I can't even express it; it's just a horrible dread that consumes every waking and sleeping moment when I know school is in the future. I can't even imagine what formally 'knowing stuff' is like.
>>174160 I think puberty is the turning point and where social hierarchies naturally develop based on sexual and social characteristics. Some succubi develop larger breasts and ass early so they get more attention and popularity; same thing happens with some guys becoming more aggressive and athletic. Naturally, the ones that win the genetic lottery start dunking on the "losers" and reap all the social benefits.
>>158524 Self loathing since I was a child meant I never tried once to do anything but sleep in school until dropping out in highschool.
I never got to college due to reasons. I did not even want to drop out bt the universe chose for me. I was always strange and bullied as a child even by those younger than me but for some reason it changed when I was 13-14. I still got treated weird and bullied in a sense yet I did not actually care about being weird and embraced who I was. I was always depressed but as it was part of who I was for my entire history I never related to the emo kids in school and thought they were faggots although the fashion for succubi was cool.
I remember I had one much older teen bully me on my way home daily when I was a still in elementary school and it was very important for me as I came to understand how your actions that harm others continue on and spread throughout the world like a domino effect. The teen who bullied me was a loser as well who was bullied.
Normalfags claim that bullies are always bullied but this is not true at all however in this case it was. I started doing drugs by 12 and drinking all to self medicate. Life never got good but I never tried so I cannot complain.
I would describe myself as a normie in many ways yet I expect wizards to disagree I just feel my ability to blend into the normalfag world is something that a lot of you do not have. The world is not worth blending into
I'm not particularly interesting, but either way >Kindergarten I don't remember much here, but I think it went OK. I do think I wasn't as connected with the others but there was no reason for worry back then >Primary This time is pretty much the root of all my problems. You see, I was the kind of kid that started speaking relatively late, but when I did, it was pretty much full sentences. People did NOT like the fact I was ahead. Not so much the kids, but teachers and parents. A little background: we used to live in this village close to the city. It was a pretty normal village, except for that fact that the northern part (everything above the train tracks) was really posh. One of the richest villages of the country, even. Of course, we lived in the pretty average southern area. The school, however, was in the north. Big mistake. Parents of other children complained and told my parents they were from the wrong zip code, and teachers did not know what to do. This also rubbed off on students. Pair that with the fact I was a pretty bad autist and yeah, I left that school within 3 years. At that point I had already developed quite a disconnect with other children, and got tardrage outbreaks often.. >Primary, episode 2 I was put on a christian school in the southern area of the village. In general, that school handled me far better - the teachers etc were OK with me. However, my mental situation got worse. Thinking back at it, I was probably unsufferable. Not only was I generally an autist and had tardrage outbreaks, I also constantly replicated computer sounds out loud. I don't know why - perhaps just a lack of connection w/ the outside world. I was bullied a ton, and the friends I thought back then I had, in retrospect, didn't care much about me. Over time, this school kinda turned me from a relatively extroverted autist into a very introverted one. While that would seem a good development, I'm not sure it improved me mentally. By 10yo I'm quite sure I was aleady very suicidal (I mean, I tried) - a anorexic sister didn't help either. >High school Of course, I was given the "gifted kid" treatment and placed on a gymnasium, and pretty much failed instantly. While honestly I'm sure I would be able to pick up the subjects quickly had I put in effort, I simply didn't have the energy for it at that point. I failed gymnasium, and was moved to a different school at a slightly-lower-but-still-high level, where I made 0 progress either. Parents had me put on cram schools, which just made the burnout far worse. I got psychosis somewhere around that time. I was moved to yet another school, where I did make some progress, all the way up to the final year, at which, week 1, I already couldn't go. It simply wasn't happening anymore. fucking boring innit
>>174224 >You see, I was the kind of kid that started speaking relatively late, but when I did, it was pretty much full sentences. People did NOT like the fact I was ahead. Not so much the kids, but teachers and parents. What age are you talking about anon? My memory of being young has largely withered away but when I read this I thought to myself perhaps you live in a place full of developmentally challenged people. Do kids not speak in full sentences aside from when they are still fully retarded? > Not only was I generally an autist and had tardrage outbreaks, I also constantly replicated computer sounds out loud. keked irl desu. As an adult do you still feel the need to do autistic things? I do what some may say is autistic for fun like trying to dance pretending I am an anime succubus and talk in meme speek for fun but have no issues socially interacting normally if I choose to. An example would be picking up a mango while dancing slightly and saying to someone. >num num bigu mang-goo num num
I do not think your story was boring wiz. Normalfags have boring ass origin stories as they are nearly all replications of themselves without anything unique.
Elementary: Uneventful. Grades were good, top notch even since I received a few awards and such. Never talked to anyone I didn't have to. Middle School: The stress takes hold. I ended up suffering panic attacks which exacerbated my pre-existing asthma. Ended up being home schooled for the latter half of 6th and all of 7th grade before finally returning for 8th. Did the absolute bare minimum, no home work whatsoever only class work and tests but still managing to pass with a B- in most classes. Any attempts at interaction with others fails spectacularly including the first attempt at female interaction which leads to public humiliation, ridicule and a fall down a flight of bleachers. High School: No fucks can be given anymore. Skipped most of 9th so I had to repeat it and just quit on the second go. Got my GED within two months of leaving since it was ridiculously easy for what it is. Post School: Self imposed isolation for over a decade. No work, virtually no contact with others, sometimes months spent without leaving the house. This has only recently changed do to extenuating circumstances but I still have no job, no license, no friends, and no interaction outside of family and the occasional cashier asking if I want a receipt.
>>174225 >What age are you talking about anon? Mmmm, don't remember exactly. It's more that while other kids were still reading letter by letter out loud, I could already read and speak with ease, knew the alphabet proper, etc >Do kids not speak in full sentences aside from when they are still fully retarded? It tends to take a bit, at least. Apparently, for me that time in which you only speak words was very short, and within a short time I could also hold conversations and read signs, even before going to school >As an adult do you still feel the need to do autistic things? I still do it quite a bit, albeit more in my head. I tend to spend a lot of time every day just playing UI animations and their sounds in my head. I use my hands to do it too, I'm glad nobody can see me doing that nowadays.. That's probably where my skill in UI design comes from as well, I guess
>>174162 Society knows what to do with those succubi, and chads. Now our society is so normcore that wizards and their potential are just ground up and tossed aside. In the past there were places for spergs an other weird people, you'd go to a monastery to be with your own kind. There, they made some of the best beer in the world, not to mention preserving knowledge and other activities. There was purpose.
>>174677 monasteries were mostly for the elderly,they were like retirement centers. sperg kids were more likely to just "get lost in the forest" one day and the family will never talk about them again and the townspeople would know better than to ask
>>158524 I lost a full ride scholarship because I got MDD with psychosis. My first ever psychotic depressive episode was during my third semester. I ended up skipping all my classes, attempting suicide, and getting hospitalized. Failed all my classes and was kicked out.
I did drop out when I was 16. But I came close to dropping out 3 times prior. I missed 80+ days of the previous school year. I always missed classes or was in detention for fighting. I regret not dropping out sooner.
>>174678 Because puberty did not make you physically dimorphic enough (at least at the year you’re taking about) to put you higher on the social hierarchy. If you had become more dimorphic enough then you would have gotten a boost in status. At least until others’ puberty boosts raised them back above you.
>>174162 Something I noticed is that males dont really achieve puberty dimorphism until junior year of highschool. Instead succubi become instantly super dimorphic around middle school years. Whereas the males still look more like children than like adult chads. What I think is that competition increases due to all the older chads starting to compete with the succubi’ peers during those years, and that creates the vicious toxicity of social hierarchy which we start to see develop during middle school years.
For example. I was normal height at 5 foot 9 all the way until sophomore, junior and senior years. Those years everybody got growth spurts. In my grade I was among only a handful of guys shorter than 5’11, and there were three men (out of like 200 men) that was shorter than 5’8. I would say the vast majority of my grade was above 6 foot. And I got made fun of it very often, people would legit pick fights with me over it. I became more excluded than ever before.
But going back to middle school for a moment. Yeah, I remember almost every single succubus going out with college aged and highschool aged dudes. (Like dudes aged 16 to 28). I think that sharp increasing of competition is what drives middle school aged males to become aggressive and competitive with their peers, and not their own puberty. Anyway at least thats my theory. I also noticed in middle school succubi start to become extra vicious to their male peers that they think are lowest status in the status hierarchy.
>>158524 For the most part enjoyed most of it, with the exception of seventh grade which was the only time I was randomly bullied. Near the end of high school though, my last year, I got involved in drugs a bit and failed and had to graduate in summer school. Didn't even have a graduation ceremony. I think everything was pretty much downhill from there. I feel like I had a pretty decent social life as a kid/teenager, it wasn't until school ended that I become a real loser. I tried to go to college but I just wasn't feeling it. Too many different classes required group activity things. Instead of study I just wanted to drink. All in all, I would rather return to that time compared to hell my life is now.
>>177960 Based on my experience, boys and succubi seem to be experiencing puberty earlier with boys slightly later, but with males it seems like more of a crapshoot as to what traits we can inherit. There were succubi who got the short end of the stick relative to other succubi but they didn't get anywhere near the amount of shit boys of similar status did.
>>177960 what country? 5'10" is completely average adult male height for americans. i cant believe you got made fun of for being 1" below average height here.
i tried to fit in by acting like a clown throughout primary school and for the first couple of years of highschool but that didn't work out. spent the rest of my time there mostly alone or with other autists in quiet spaces, highschool left me bitter towards teenagers. my grades were decent despite not studying but i never used them to get anywhere in life.
>>178001 >>178297 In all my years of schooling from elementary to dropping out of college I remember maybe 2 instances where a student was made fun because of height and it was just some teasing, nothing major. Ironically one instance was because the person was too tall. I'm not saying those things doesn't happen but for some odd reason IBs tend to have a high amount of people concerned about height.
I'm average height and I never even thought about my own or other people's height until I began using IBs because there are so many people talking about this.
Being fat or ugly however, I can remember several instances going back to elementary school of kids, both boys and succubi getting teased real bad over being obese or ugly.
I went to a male Catholic school (La Salle). Throughout highschool I was always the youngest student at my class, and the gap between me and the older students grew steadily as years went by, and grade repeaters were incorporated to my class. When I graduated at 16, some of my classmates were as old as 20 or even 21. On top of that, I was one of the shortest guys at class, I was also fairly skinny and had a (non so severe) acne problem. Bullying wasn't really a big issue at that school, nonetheless I was looked down and bullied in subtle ways, many times, for all of these reasons (short, looking younger than my age, shy assburger etc).
Had strong social anxiety and was very shy and insecure, to the point that I somatized it by becoming a "low talker"; as I said, I was never really bullied but I was belittled a lot because of that, and I became sort of an outcast except for two or three """"friends""" (acquaintances with whom I would walk home after class or make group assignments).
Academically speaking I performed decently, got average to good grades, and even got the best score for my school at senior year, in something that could be said is the equivalent of SAT in my country. After highschool I was one of few students within my school to qualify for the best public university in my country. I got a college degree from there after 8 long years but that's another story.
I didn't do so bad in sport class. As I said, I was short and skinny, but I have never been really bad for footy and other sports. Of course was never close of being part of the highschool team either.
Of course I didn't have any relationship with succubi at all, but I jerked off a lot to porn and fantazising with a couple of teachers (which weren't even hot or anything but I was horny kid). I discovered porn through some of my older brother magazines and videotapes. I was a fairly horny kid since age 12 or so.
Nowadays I sort of get along with a few of my former classmates, I don't really hold any grudge towards any of them.
>tfw the kids who made fun of us for being weird and socially awkward are now having kids of their own, passing their feelings towards wizards onto them
Middle and high school were pretty boring, but I wasn't bullied. During university I realized that I could just not go to school, so I didn't. Took two years of terrible grades until I found a balance of attending as few classes as possible but still do decently well. And now I'm a neet.
>>158524 primary school was bad, bullying and all that. kids can be cruel to those that are somewhat different from them (I'm quite sure I am some kind of sperg or autist or schizoid idk) then I moved to a different country and it was better I was mostly left alone. I had good enough grades to get into uni. there I tried to act normal but failed. at least I got an ok job now out of it so I can wageslave and go home to shitpost
It happened today wizzies, I ran into a friend from school for the first time in 12 years. I don't know how I've managed to avoid it this long. I was right outside my house on my way to the pharmacy to pick something up for my dad when I ran into him. I tried putting on my best normy facade and asked how are you etc. But then he asked me if I had a job, my eyes fell and I said "…yeah, I'm working in a sh-shop" after that I think he picked up from my bodylanguage that I didn't want to be having this conversation so he said "anyway it's good seeing you" and we parted ways. I also felt extremely short the whole time.
>>181616 That's too bad. It's always best to prepare for these situations mentally by rehearsing your excuse for immediately leaving before any questioning can begin upon meeting an old school acquaintance. Never ends well.
>>181616 >>181617 >>181618 just completely blank them and tell them to fuck off if they approach you, you don't owe a normie conversation just because you went to school together
>>181616 I've seen people from my high school that I kinda knew, it pretty much went similar to that, but it was more like just as I was walking by I just "hey" and gave them a little wave and head nod and kept walking, they usually just say "hey" back and we just go on our ways. Only one person actually initiated a conversation with me and he just asked if I had discord and I told him I didn't, then I asked him what he was studying and I told him what I was studying (at the time) and then I just wrapped it up, said his career sounded cool and said "see ya around", smiled, and said I had somewhere to go and walked away
TFW I will never live in a comfy abbey with other wizard friends. TFW when I will never preserve ancient knowledge through illumination nor be on the cutting edge of research in the medieval world. TFW I will never drink excellent self brewed beer made by me and other wizards.
My family moved if not every year, then every other year. I think I went through 10 schools, one of them was even back in my mother country. If that didn't happen, dunno maybe I'd be a normalfag
>>160498 >maybe i will try to file a lawsuit against that school. I don't think there's much you can do with natural statue of limitations. Proof isn't preserved, people naturally forget things.
I had to repeat my final year of mandatory schooling because I was missing .5 credits, in a specific class, and the teacher somehow got it into her head I was a literal rapist and deliberately tanked any chance of me passing. She was a old feminist cunt, and apparently didn't like young dude crass humor when she overheard me joking with friends. Not a single person took my side no matter how clearly bullshit this was, including my parents. I'll forever be mad I had to waste an extra year of my life jumping through hoops to get this last fucking useless credit.