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They were never absent in my life, at least not physically but I feel like I never developed a true emotional bond with them. I don't feel more intimate with them than I do with acquaintances from school. The only time when my dad and I talked (not that much) was when he took me to school and it was hardly about my development as a kid. His routine was basically workplace > bar > home. My mom is an old fashioned stay at home type who only married my dad because of what he can provide for her financially. I don't think she genuinely loves him. My father never showered me or changed my diapers when I was a baby, only my mom did even though he was the one who wanted a kid the most. He never asked how was my day at school, he never helped me with my homework, he never taught me how this confusing world works, never game me advice for anything, nothing. I don't think we ever traveled, outside visiting some relatives here and there. I used to envy my school mates and how close they were to their fathers, like how they would share things together and encourage their children to do their best and such.
I wouldn't use the word 'hate' to describe how I feel about them but goddamn I can't bring myself to love them. I'm a stranger in my own home, among people I share the same blood with. If I wasn't such a worthless NEET with no practical skills I would be living far away from here and I doubt they would me miss.
I wouldn't use the word 'hate' to describe how I feel about them but goddamn I can't bring myself to love them. I'm a stranger in my own home, among people I share the same blood with. If I wasn't such a worthless NEET with no practical skills I would be living far away from here and I doubt they would me miss.
>>176076
I think many people relate. Family is not chosen, and so we are often situated with people we would otherwise never interact with. My family is rather fucked in its composition, but essentially I feel much love towards one of my parents, while the other is a complete stranger. And I relate to being a stranger in your own home. I feel the need to hide all aspects of my life from them.
>I can't bring myself to love them.
We are on wizchan, love is something few of us can feel in any capacity, let alone towards many people.
I think many people relate. Family is not chosen, and so we are often situated with people we would otherwise never interact with. My family is rather fucked in its composition, but essentially I feel much love towards one of my parents, while the other is a complete stranger. And I relate to being a stranger in your own home. I feel the need to hide all aspects of my life from them.
>I can't bring myself to love them.
We are on wizchan, love is something few of us can feel in any capacity, let alone towards many people.
It's "weird" in that it contradicts normalcattle sentiment but it makes perfect sense, which is why I share that feeling. No one is mentally indebted to others by circumstances of their birth outside of their control. Most "attachment" to parents people claim to have is just animalistic dependence on what is (or was) a provider, or social conditioning and medial engineering playing on emotions. I'd happily cut all contact with my family if I had the means of sustaining myself, but since I'm a shut-in with no income I'm financially dependent on them. I may not be attached to them but I don't dislike them enough to become voluntarily homeless.
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can relate
>>176077
>Family is not chosen, and so we are often situated with people we would otherwise never interact with
Well said.
>Family is not chosen, and so we are often situated with people we would otherwise never interact with
Well said.
>>176077
>I feel the need to hide all aspects of my life from them
i learned this early on as a kid, whenever i would talk to them it would end up with something bad happening to me because they didnt really view me as my own person. if they found out i was doing something they disapprove of they wouldnt try to talk me out of it they would just punish me.
an integral part of forming a relationship is honesty, and if you cant talk to someone honestly then you dont really have a relationship with them.
>I feel the need to hide all aspects of my life from them
i learned this early on as a kid, whenever i would talk to them it would end up with something bad happening to me because they didnt really view me as my own person. if they found out i was doing something they disapprove of they wouldnt try to talk me out of it they would just punish me.
an integral part of forming a relationship is honesty, and if you cant talk to someone honestly then you dont really have a relationship with them.
I think that's okay. I wouldn't be surprised if it's always been the norm just people now have forgotten.
>>176076
You pretty much described the relationship I have to my parents. I don't have a single remarkable emotional memory related to my parents. They never were attachment figures to me. I was basically doing stuff by myself all the time. I don't hate them but certainly don't love them. I feel like if they would suddenly get terminally ill and die it would barely affect me other than the structural problems that would go along with their death. But that's the way it is. It's not my parents fault really as nobody really has control over what they are doing anyways.
It might be one of the reasons why I'm extremely unempathetic towards most people and never feel an emotional connection. I at best feel disgust and hate towards people that annoy me and curse their infinite stupidity. Not that I'm any better but that negativity is all I'm capable of when thinking of the human race. At least I'm not racist in any kind. I despise everyone the same.
You pretty much described the relationship I have to my parents. I don't have a single remarkable emotional memory related to my parents. They never were attachment figures to me. I was basically doing stuff by myself all the time. I don't hate them but certainly don't love them. I feel like if they would suddenly get terminally ill and die it would barely affect me other than the structural problems that would go along with their death. But that's the way it is. It's not my parents fault really as nobody really has control over what they are doing anyways.
It might be one of the reasons why I'm extremely unempathetic towards most people and never feel an emotional connection. I at best feel disgust and hate towards people that annoy me and curse their infinite stupidity. Not that I'm any better but that negativity is all I'm capable of when thinking of the human race. At least I'm not racist in any kind. I despise everyone the same.
>>176077
>Family is not chosen, and so we are often situated with people we would otherwise never interact with
This so fucking much.
>Family is not chosen, and so we are often situated with people we would otherwise never interact with
This so fucking much.
>>176076
Adding a dissenting voice to say I'm really quite attached to my mother and am depressed over her ageing/impending death. At times I've envied those who've never felt anything for their "close" family - I figure they just skip straight to the "emptiness" part without going through grief, or something.
Adding a dissenting voice to say I'm really quite attached to my mother and am depressed over her ageing/impending death. At times I've envied those who've never felt anything for their "close" family - I figure they just skip straight to the "emptiness" part without going through grief, or something.
>>176420
as someone who lost a mom i was emotionally attached to, i have wondered how others may process the grief of close family at their final hour. my siblings and myself have witnessed quite a lot of turmoil with our father as we grew up, so perhaps for that reason we were grew closer to each other and to a parent that cared more than the other.
here's to hoping your mom lives a wonderfully long life, anon
as someone who lost a mom i was emotionally attached to, i have wondered how others may process the grief of close family at their final hour. my siblings and myself have witnessed quite a lot of turmoil with our father as we grew up, so perhaps for that reason we were grew closer to each other and to a parent that cared more than the other.
here's to hoping your mom lives a wonderfully long life, anon
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>>176076
I feel the same for the most part, except the travel part, had to go on a holiday every year with them, which I never particularly enjoyed, I always thought it was more enjoyable to just play video games than go abroad to 'experience culture' (read: go to the beach and a fancy restaurant) but that's another matter
I definitely don't love my parents, they're just some individuals that I'm supposedly meant to love unconditionally, and they supposedly love me unconditionally, but I have trouble buying into either belief
when it comes down to it dealing with my parents is just like dealing with a normalfag boss who also wants to be your therapist at the same time
I feel the same for the most part, except the travel part, had to go on a holiday every year with them, which I never particularly enjoyed, I always thought it was more enjoyable to just play video games than go abroad to 'experience culture' (read: go to the beach and a fancy restaurant) but that's another matter
I definitely don't love my parents, they're just some individuals that I'm supposedly meant to love unconditionally, and they supposedly love me unconditionally, but I have trouble buying into either belief
when it comes down to it dealing with my parents is just like dealing with a normalfag boss who also wants to be your therapist at the same time
>>177187
>go to the beach and a fancy restaurant
Lowkey wish my old folks did that once in a while. Are you from a rich family?
>go to the beach and a fancy restaurant
Lowkey wish my old folks did that once in a while. Are you from a rich family?
>>177203
upper middle class, I guess
none of that wealth trickles down my way so I'd prefer a middle-middle class family that didn't helicopter me
upper middle class, I guess
none of that wealth trickles down my way so I'd prefer a middle-middle class family that didn't helicopter me
I lived with my family as basically a hikki until my late 20s. Now been on my own for a year in another country. I barely talk to them - havent even done a phone call. They know i have a lot of anxiety and hate phones. But they must be upset and secretly be bitching about me 'abandoning' them.
Since I have been away from them, I gradually began realising how toxic the family situation was for me. But to my mother it must seem like everything was fine and then I just disappeared and cut contact.
I feel guilty and sociopathic because I don't feel like talking to them.
If I had to go back I would just kill myself, so maybe I associate them with those feelings of home.
Feels very conflicting and awkward. I'm expecting they will break down one day and start guilt tripping me. The first time I call them or see them (if it ever even happens) is going to be disturbing. I suppose my plan should be to try to postpone the 'fuck you' breakdown from them as long as possible even if it means putting in the effort to talk to them a bit when i dont feel like it. Slowly cut them off.
Mainly i'm questioning myself about why I feel like this. I really thought I would miss my mother and want to talk to her
Since I have been away from them, I gradually began realising how toxic the family situation was for me. But to my mother it must seem like everything was fine and then I just disappeared and cut contact.
I feel guilty and sociopathic because I don't feel like talking to them.
If I had to go back I would just kill myself, so maybe I associate them with those feelings of home.
Feels very conflicting and awkward. I'm expecting they will break down one day and start guilt tripping me. The first time I call them or see them (if it ever even happens) is going to be disturbing. I suppose my plan should be to try to postpone the 'fuck you' breakdown from them as long as possible even if it means putting in the effort to talk to them a bit when i dont feel like it. Slowly cut them off.
Mainly i'm questioning myself about why I feel like this. I really thought I would miss my mother and want to talk to her
>>178634
Basically my situation except I moved within the same country and still call them once in a while. My mom says I can come back to stay with her however long I want. Maybe I was wrong to move away from her in the first place. It's really been eye opening because I'm autistic and learned the hard way from being on my own how the world treats people like me. That is normalfags want to see me dead. The only things I have in this life are my family, copes and neetbux. At least for now.
Basically my situation except I moved within the same country and still call them once in a while. My mom says I can come back to stay with her however long I want. Maybe I was wrong to move away from her in the first place. It's really been eye opening because I'm autistic and learned the hard way from being on my own how the world treats people like me. That is normalfags want to see me dead. The only things I have in this life are my family, copes and neetbux. At least for now.
>>176076
you are enlightened not having any attachment to even your own parents. I found my mom dead in her blood soaked bed. It was horrifying but i didn't really cry about it. (was an hero by the way)
you are enlightened not having any attachment to even your own parents. I found my mom dead in her blood soaked bed. It was horrifying but i didn't really cry about it. (was an hero by the way)
My parents fought a whole bunch. But I got the feeling that when I went over a friend's house, I was just seeing the choice bits and their parents fought too.
So consider your idealization of your friend and his father something like that. Like the flaws of social media before social media. Or maybe not and you and I just got shitty hands dealt.
So consider your idealization of your friend and his father something like that. Like the flaws of social media before social media. Or maybe not and you and I just got shitty hands dealt.
i was raised by a single mother. I never met my dad. i don't really a give a shit if i ever do. probably some boring piece of shit like the usual guys my mom likes
my mother is a refrigerator mother, and as a result of that my emotional/social development is stunted
i am actually glad i never had a dad. it means i have fewer obligations to family.
i don't have pretend to like some guy because he's related to me
i don't have pretend to like some guy because he's related to me
the fewer family members you have the better off you are i believe
orphans don't know how great they have it
orphans don't know how great they have it
I am finishing up college now, but I spent the last 1.5 years of covid-time with my family (i have a big one). There was some friction but ultimately interacting with my family was fulfilling in an addicting way. It's hard to describe, it felt like there was nothing else that could compare or nothing that could be worth doing.
Now I am alone, after I graduate and get a job, I will be alone. I am and will be alone. "One in a field, you cannot be a warrior" is a saying I've been thinking about. I'll have to be more than a warrior. I'll have to be a monk, craftsman, and a warrior. I'll have to adhere to my dream, build it with my own hands, and defend it. I don't think there's anything else that's worth doing in this life.
Now I am alone, after I graduate and get a job, I will be alone. I am and will be alone. "One in a field, you cannot be a warrior" is a saying I've been thinking about. I'll have to be more than a warrior. I'll have to be a monk, craftsman, and a warrior. I'll have to adhere to my dream, build it with my own hands, and defend it. I don't think there's anything else that's worth doing in this life.
Does anyone else want to murder their parents/steparents before suicide in Minecraft? It would upset my siblings but just like in prison if someones consistently putting you down you commit extreme violence against them to protect your sense of manhood, especially when youre parents are failures taking their aggression on you, I cant wait tom get fit and scare the shit of my fat cunt of a stepfather who thinks hes a crypto god, be snarky again motherfucker, try it.
>>184255
Me sober here, I was blackout drunk when I wrote this, even though I did say it was a joke by saying in Minecraft in the post I want to reiterate I by no means want to murder or hurt anyone, I actually love my parents, they've helped me a lot and been very generous to me. I just wanted to vent here because sometimes they take little jabs at me, and as I said I was blackout drunk when I wrote that post. Just wanted to clear this up because I felt like such an ungrateful dick and by no means meant what I said, luckily I'm going into rehab in a few days.
Me sober here, I was blackout drunk when I wrote this, even though I did say it was a joke by saying in Minecraft in the post I want to reiterate I by no means want to murder or hurt anyone, I actually love my parents, they've helped me a lot and been very generous to me. I just wanted to vent here because sometimes they take little jabs at me, and as I said I was blackout drunk when I wrote that post. Just wanted to clear this up because I felt like such an ungrateful dick and by no means meant what I said, luckily I'm going into rehab in a few days.
>>176076
I've not loved them since age 11 or so but to be fair got landed in foster care though ironically ended up back with them again as a neet…
So no, it's because they are shit people of which is why you are here being abnormal to be blunt.
nature vs nurture
I've wanted to kill them for a few years now, the 'father' especially.
I've not loved them since age 11 or so but to be fair got landed in foster care though ironically ended up back with them again as a neet…
So no, it's because they are shit people of which is why you are here being abnormal to be blunt.
nature vs nurture
I've wanted to kill them for a few years now, the 'father' especially.
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Every family is a little battlefield.
Its pretty telling that most people who feel this way are also being supported by their family.
>>184554
The nobility got something in their relationship with their vassals. Your parents get nothing.
The nobility got something in their relationship with their vassals. Your parents get nothing.
>>184536
It makes sense. People with bad families leave if they can. People who are forced to stay with bad families will be the ones left to complain and suffer in the inescapable toxic situation. I don't understand what insinuation you intended to make.
It makes sense. People with bad families leave if they can. People who are forced to stay with bad families will be the ones left to complain and suffer in the inescapable toxic situation. I don't understand what insinuation you intended to make.
>>176420
I assume for you it will be emptiness, since you obviously love your parent.
For me though, being one of those that feel detached from their parent, I don't think it's an empty feeling. More along the lines of understanding that some stranger is on their way to dying or already dead.
"oh, that's unfortunate. I hope that won't hinder my plans." I might say, when this parent of mine finally passes.
I assume for you it will be emptiness, since you obviously love your parent.
For me though, being one of those that feel detached from their parent, I don't think it's an empty feeling. More along the lines of understanding that some stranger is on their way to dying or already dead.
"oh, that's unfortunate. I hope that won't hinder my plans." I might say, when this parent of mine finally passes.
>>184536
>supported
If the family were so good at providing support they'd have produced sons capable of living on their own. This isn't support, it's ongoing failure.
>supported
If the family were so good at providing support they'd have produced sons capable of living on their own. This isn't support, it's ongoing failure.
>>187661
I'm gonna drag them down with me, want it or not. From their side it might be failure too.
I'm gonna drag them down with me, want it or not. From their side it might be failure too.
>>178634
Update: now they are finally saying they're upset and hurt by how I dont want them in my life. I still feel like I just dont want to talk to them at all, but i dont know how to get rid of the burden of them. No sense of resolution will ever be possible. If I were to try to go truly zero contact then I would never be able to justify it to them.
Update: now they are finally saying they're upset and hurt by how I dont want them in my life. I still feel like I just dont want to talk to them at all, but i dont know how to get rid of the burden of them. No sense of resolution will ever be possible. If I were to try to go truly zero contact then I would never be able to justify it to them.
>>184536
go on any normalfag site and you'd see plenty with similar sentiments, just not worded the same
go on any normalfag site and you'd see plenty with similar sentiments, just not worded the same
Idk I feel like I lucked out with my parents. We're about to get a house in the countryside and chances are I will inherit it once they pass away. They don't mind me staying here at all as long as I contribute some of my neetbux every month.
I had helicopter parents but I was lucky enough to have some good conversations with my dad. My mom was more distant but I do feel bonded in the sense that if I saw them in pain I would suffer too. Along with being extremely angry at whatever caused it
>>176076
its a normal reaction to a shitty upbringing. my parents were just never there. they "tried" to be there emotionally but when your kid doesnt see you for 12+hrs of the fucking day then dont act surprised when your'how was your day son' or 'lets go to the xyz' falls on deaf ears. I never wanted to hate my parents. i cant change the circumstances of my life. being malnourished most my life and having any growth stunted doesnt help either. the worst thing is they know what they did wrong. TLDR i was just a "lets have another one" baby. a living decoration for the house. like a dog
its a normal reaction to a shitty upbringing. my parents were just never there. they "tried" to be there emotionally but when your kid doesnt see you for 12+hrs of the fucking day then dont act surprised when your'how was your day son' or 'lets go to the xyz' falls on deaf ears. I never wanted to hate my parents. i cant change the circumstances of my life. being malnourished most my life and having any growth stunted doesnt help either. the worst thing is they know what they did wrong. TLDR i was just a "lets have another one" baby. a living decoration for the house. like a dog
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I think it's normal. I love my mother because she spent a lot of time with me and talked with me often. While I appreciate that my father provided for us he didn't make the same effort socially so I'm not close to him.
I'm kinda neutral on them. Never had Any problems, My parents supported me and everything. they Are just retired boomers. They dont Do anything except go For Walks, sauna and watch TV. I Try to Make based jokes about jews and niggers. But they rarely go along. I dont Have anything to talk about with them. If they died I dont think I would miss them, i would also get like 300k in inheritance which would improve My Life.
Just old people with one son.
Just old people with one son.
I get the impression that most parents just got married and had children because it was the thing to do, but they didn't really like it once they did and just half-assed the job at best or either balked (usually the parent) or took out their frustration at a life they didn't like on their kids (usually the mother).
>>191184
>I Try to Make based jokes about jews and niggers. But they rarely go along
You must be a male virgin and at least 18 years old to use this website.
>I Try to Make based jokes about jews and niggers. But they rarely go along
You must be a male virgin and at least 18 years old to use this website.
>>191180
heh i wish i could have been fortunate enough to have been born into money like that. they were lower middle class wage slaves
heh i wish i could have been fortunate enough to have been born into money like that. they were lower middle class wage slaves
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My father is just some fat bastard who pisses in buckets and watches TV very loudly. When I was younger I really wanted friends so I asked for his advice and he would just say shitty advice that did not help in the slightest at all. I also don't like him for making me short and ugly as fuck. I actually like my mom, I feel like she was always their for me unlike my dad. I feel like my dad didn't really care about me, he used to say shit like "you were my favorite son" while ignoring me when I was younger and asking me to go away, this happened multiple times by the way. I feel like the people who treated me the best were my grandparents. My grandfather felt like an actual father figure unlike my dad. I have a lot of fond memories with him unlike my dad. Some times I feel like I'm too mean on my father but I feel like I am justified for what I think about him.
>>176076
my mother doesn't have hobbies so she's like the most boring person to talk to
she's not intellectually inclined either so she basically speaks in cliches and repeats what she heard at work
she also likes to speak in anecdotes that are not remotely interesting
if she weren't my mother we would have nothing to do with each other
my mother doesn't have hobbies so she's like the most boring person to talk to
she's not intellectually inclined either so she basically speaks in cliches and repeats what she heard at work
she also likes to speak in anecdotes that are not remotely interesting
if she weren't my mother we would have nothing to do with each other