its not hard, its easier than ever, I like to make friends from wizchan, as long as you have a place that you fit in you can make some friends, even if it takes a while
I have a bunch of acquaintances online. I can't say I'm incredibly intimate with any of these people, but it's just reality. Maybe once in a lifetime you'll have that movie-tier best friend you always want to be around.
Having non-wizzie friends gets harder because most normies start getting married and having kids. If the wife doesn't isolate him from you and his other friends, his kids will. My cousin hasn't been online once since having a baby. It becomes your life and free time gets redefined as "quality time with the kids" instead of "warzone/apex/chel night with my friends".
As you get older I can't see how you can really make friends outside of work. Maybe getting involved in your local community, but even that seems pretty tedious.
If in your youth, you were not able to have friends. Chances are you are not going to have some now, because most of the older folks are married or have kids which means they'll stick to their own families and some 2 or 3 friends they made before that.
I have abandoned the hope of ever making frens, it's too late. Sometimes my heart aches over such matter but most of the time i'm fine.
I had trouble making friends back then and I still do now. Social anxiety mixed with autism as a kid fucking sucks so it didn't feel harder nor easier. Despite that I somehow made a couple lifelong friends growing up so I'm confused how that even worked. Frankly I'm unsure if you could call that wizardly, but maybe I'm just viewing things in black or white. For others most people go down the normalfag path like >>190811 said. They get married, have kids, and end up wageslaving or joining the military. I don't get how they put up with a lifestyle that's just work, wife/kids, rest ad nauseam. That just sounds depressing.
The guy doing plaster on my house today gave me an ear beating about how the daughter of his wife came to live with them after a divorce and he can't stand the little "devil" of a son. Is all noise all the time and he is bad behaved and bla bla bla. A day before that he told me how his brother that was a partner on the business was turned against him by the wife and now they are not in good terms and bla bla bla.
Basically, their lives are that: shit and they are trapped in them.
>>190826 I feel like wizards who lament about 'loneliness' (in scare quotes because I think it should be positively reframed as 'solitude') do not understand opportunity costs. Imagine a wizard could step into a world where they were married and had had kids in the past. Chances are, it would be like you describe: a hell far worse than their current 'lonely' predilection.
Life has infinite possibility to get far, far worse. Something to keep in mind.
>>190828 Nothing crabby about pondering the growing unrealateability between males as they age, and trying to deduce the phenomena to a practical, digestible explanation. >haven't been here in awhile You have no business criticizing any aspect of it if you chose not to be here to grow alongside it.
>>190828 Tourists and wizkids happened. Now we get r9k and pol wizzies coming here and they push their failed normo ideology at every chance they get. Just ignore them.
>>190795 seriously, this is the only place that I know of where celibacy and the recluse lifestyle are seen as positive things, why come here out of all fucking places if you feel the way that you do and not one of the many crab communities on the internet such as reddit or 4chan where you will find many many like-minded individuals?
>>190861 I've always thought this site has a focus on celibacy rather than complete social isolation, although the two certainly go hand-in-hand. Yes being shut-in is seen positively here, but even shut-ins can have friends. Especially friends who are themselves outcasts.
Perhaps this is the greatest division among users here. Not desiring succubi is one thing, which already filters out most people. Then taking that a step further to not desiring any human companionship, is something very few mortals are capable of. If it were enforced as a rule, I wonder how many users would be left. Certainly it would be one hell of a niche.
>>190896 What do you mean by "friends? People you talk with online? Or actual people you hang out with in real life? If the latter then I disagree.
I don't look down on wizzies who have internet friends but I am suspicious about any wizard who has actual friends. Though I am personally a follower of the #TrueWiz Path, meaning I don't masturbate and I don't talk with anyone outside my family, whether online or irl. Well, unless you count posting here as talking with people.
>>190795 If you can keep your friends from the past sure and it definitely becomes harder to make friends. I went away from all my grade school friends for high school, and went away from all my high school friends for college, and now I have 0 friends I hang out with IRL, just ones online. But it feels much harder to make new ones of those too, not sure why.
>>190896 If no one wanted a community, Wizchan wouldn't exist. We're wizards but we are humans.
>>190860 Bullshit. Being a wizard means being a virgin past 30. Anything beyond that is you projecting your life and ideas onto everyone else. I for one would love to have friends at my age and I don't think it is natural in the slightest for grown men to be as socially isolated as they are today.
>>190915 Do not post about voluntary real life social activities (e.g. going to a bar or party). - rule 3
And in the general guidelines of this site it is stated that users here are encouraged to talk about things related to or in the spirit of the reclusive lifestyle.
So no, it's not a projection on my part. Desiring friends is something failed normals do. By your definition, someone can be a lolweird normal and go to football matches and bars with his buddies as long as he stays a virgin. That is just wrong. Being a wiz always had a solitary atmosphere to it. And by that I mean not the failed normal >tfwnofriends solitude but the kind of solitude that is about "others should go to hell". >I for one would love to have friends at my age and I don't think it is natural in the slightest for grown men to be as socially isolated as they are today.
Then go somewhere else, there are plenty of sites for you types, where lonely failed normals can chat or bond with each other. My personal opinion is that it is great we live in a society like this nowadays, where if you are lucky you can live almost completely isolated from everyone. And we should encourage a "society of solitude" (as much as it is an oxymoron) to come into existence.
Why can't retards here just admit social interaction is an essential human need that causes suffering if not met? I'm not suggesting you wanna seek out shitty normalfag "friends" who will humiliate and backstab you. It is still preferrable being alone. But FFS, this level of denial is annoying. Why would there even be a depression board on here if life is all peachy on your own?
>>191077 >some people on the site are depressed therefore all are depressed Do you not see this error in your logic? >social interaction is an essential human need >It is still preferable being alone Do you not see this error in your logic? How can both be true?
>>191085 Nothing puzzling about it unless you're trying to be willfully ignorant. I would try to explain to you the difference between 'essential' and 'preferable' but I'm not in the mood. Now you can argue if it is 'essential' or not, and I might even take your side on that but to claim >>191077 isn't being logical is… And he didn't say 'all are depressed', you're just making things up.
>>191077 Most people on /dep/ suffer from financial troubles, shit living/work conditions, illnesses, annoying normals in their environment and existential dread/crisis. Surprise, but people can be depressed for things other than >tfwnofriends or >tfwnogf.
People don't go crazy in solitude or don't go psychopath, another surprise for you. In fact true insanity lies in toxic communities and societies. Don't buy into every psychology meme you hear.
>>191077 you think there are no schizoids? all you technically need is money to survive in this world, if you're fine being alone. but all too often you cannot simply be alone, and you have no fucking money. you're forced to interact with people, go outside, wageslave. this is why i'm get sad sometimes, even though im neeting currently, because this isolation will eventually end
>>191087 It is never preferable to be lacking something essential.
There is a depression board because some people are unhappy being alone, and also because society makes it incredibly difficult to be alone.
I continue to see the post as entirely illogical. It's possible to make logical claims about people being in denial etc but the post fails to make any such arguments
>>190795 Zombie succubi and state sanctioned oppression make life hard, one is suppose to individual the oppression as personal depression and pretend having a gf\wife 'makes it all better' (only makes the oppression worse).
>>191110 I won't try to defend >>191077 since I don't agree with 'social interaction is an essential human need' (at least in the emotional way he means it). And I agree with 'society makes it incredibly difficult to be alone'. Also, I don't know which 'retards' he's referring to. But I will say there are people on this website who'll ask stupid questions like: 'Why aren't wizards happy and proud?' As if they can't take 2 minutes to think of why a human would be unhappy. Why a human who's thought of as less than by a majority of humans would find it depressing to live. As if they're completely oblivious to 'society makes it incredibly difficult to be alone'.
All of my real life social ties are with guys in their very early 20s because pretty much everyone older than that is preoccupied with their gf/wife, their career, and potentially children. They have all the friends they'll ever want as leftovers from highschool and if they don't they'll just emotionally dump on their gf.
Plenty of reclusive older guys on the internet to befriend though, it's pretty much a pandemic of nerdy loners.
I've never had friends, as defined as those you hang out with in a casual setting. I used to think those I was friendly with only at school were friends. But it doesn't really count.
I realize now if I can't make friends in school/ college with a captive audience, its game over for trying as an adult.
One of the worst parts is the traveling. I live in a family suburb, where the social life is entirely centered around religion. Which I don't belong to. And which single males without families don't really belong to anyhow.
So really the only way to have friends of common interests and hobbies would be to travel to the city. Which was enough of a pain in the ass round trip on the rail, probably a 3 hour commute. But is now even worse with covid masks and high crime.
So yeah part of me does want friends. But I wouldn't be willing to make a 3 hour commute, just for an occasional hangout.
I also have trouble making online friends. Even groups around my very narrow aspie interests. I feel like I have nothing to day. And I'd rather read a wikipedia or a book, than some random dude online. And even when I do post, I feel like my posts are ignored. Or don't get much feedback.
living even 15 mins drive away from someone is far. hours away distance is pointless. I only realised later that all the people with real friendships in childhood tended to live so close that they could just go outside and walk to each other or have a hangout place in common
liveable european small cities are like a different world compared to usa style suburbs
>>191177 Depends what you mean by suburbs I guess. I mine, we played street hockey, threw block parties, shot off illegal fireworks and made bonfires in the road on the 4th of july, and there were stretches of woods and farmland just at the end of the road.
15 I guess, but a school bus might take 45 minutes to go the whole route anyway, so getting off early a friends' house was better. I mainly walked instead since I lived toward the edge of town.
>>191215 Interesting. Now that i think about it, i think it wasnt just my location. Other children did used to go roaming on their bicycles outside and meeting each other, but i was too restricted by 'internal' factors of abuse and mental illness to participate in that. I suppose all suburbs arent equal too. I cant imagine a childhood like that so i dont know. Must always be such a complex combination of multiple factors so i shouldnt make such absolute statements about the location.
>>191223 I can relate. I was too wrecked to really be part of it, but I was still close enough to appreciate it.
I guess it probably wasn't until my mid-late 20s that I came to understand how good I had it, and that's when a lot of us made plans to meet up during holidays or whatever because it turns out sometimes those are the friends you didn't expect would be so valuable later in life.
I always found hostility of old wizchan towards friendship absurd. Wizardry is about virgins, while I don't have any friends I don't find anything inherently wrong about friends or community. This place is also a community in itself regardless of what people think. That being said, I never tried to have any friends and I am still hostile to any place that is not anonymous, I have played some nice games (ss13, dayz community servers, some survival game servers) but in neither of them I joined in the discord and mingled with the community. My only interaction with discord is to be whitelisted, or get unbanned for some rule infraction thats it. I have no steam friends, discord buddies and so forth. I also have some interests that I would enjoy much more If I had an online presence but I avoid it. For example I like rpgs but I don't play them on roll20 or other virtual tabletops because I don't want to develop a social relationship. I'm okay with one shots but a constant commitment always scare me. But that would be my advice for any wiz who want to have some people to talk to, find some hobbies and develop a common interest I guess.
But I have to admit as you grow older you find it more and more difficult to connect with others too, regardless of my aversion I mentioned above there is also a natural progress of many people in 30s getting married and finding jobs while you are often extending your manchildness, either by neeting or wageslaving in part time jobs, still having hobbies you have in your teens, anime/vidya/rpgs and the like. Even in those hobbies I find my interest to be quite distinct from those new comers. I absolutely hate 5th edition and d&d in general but zoomers love them. Such is life I guess. I also find it more and more difficult to relate to people here, many being 20 somethings with different tastes than mine.But still this is one of the few places where broken 30 somethings do hang out so I stay.
>>191284 >I always found hostility of old wizchan towards friendship absurd. Wizardry is about virgins Have you read the rules? It sounds like you read rule #1, but didn't move on to 2, 3, and 4. https://wizardchan.net/rules.html
>>191285 I mean yeah I read the rules and I think I obey them all too in the post, for example I haven't talked about anything related to 2, nor anything related to irl activity as pertained in 3. Maybe you can say something about 4, but as a neet myself I don't disparage it, I'm just saying people who lurk here into their 30ties have taken a different route than normies. Just because I find a rule absurd doesn't mean I break it. I also find rule 7 absurd but I don't go aronud posting 3d porn.
>>190795 Maybe it's because we're still wired for a short lifespan and having the ability to make friends past 25 wasn't important enough to keep in the gene pool. Before it was very common to find a partner and mate early right? Being social and shit was important as you grew up because that's how you establish your position in the social hierarchy and find your match, after that those things probably don't really matter anymore. You grow up, find your place, produce and raise offsping and die in your 30s. And since genes don't change as quickly as our societies have evolved we are outliving that age which means there are a ton of people who can't find friends after a certain age. Either that or because as we age we tend to fall into ruts meaning we only interact with the same people under the same circumstances which reduces our chances of finding someone interesting.
>>191284 I only come here to refresh my sanity to see there are virgins above 25+ like me and even seeing those people I do understand I have nothing in common with a lot of men other than being virgin.I never had friends and never wanted one
>>191316 Ah. I see your point and shouldn't have been so rude, sorry. But still, I can never take it very seriously when some aspect of human existence is explained away by something along the lines of "back when we were uncivilized monkeys…"
The older I get the more comfortable I get with having less friends. friends are more of a drag because of how needy they are, and i've been becoming more comfortable with my own comapny.
>>190795 You never had any or you slipped through the cracks at some point and can't relate to other people anymore. I had an old friend from childhood try to get in contact with me at the start of the pandemic and i just ignored it. I wouldn't even know how to really converse with someone who went down the job/family route at this point.
For me, it's become more difficult to have friends. I'm 30 and work upwards of 70 hour weeks in a trade where I relate to no one since they all have families, or at the very least girlfriends that take up their free time. The biggest reason why is that as normalfags get older than get more and more adult responsibilites such as owning a home, taking care of their kids, etc. Many of them really don't have time for hanging out like they used to. But really in my case I just have nothing in common with people around me because I refuse to change with the times, including internet culture.
Everyone basically can't make friends after 40, and it's really difficult after 30. With everything closed off, it's basically impossible to get in if you were left out in school. It's amazing how much people cooperated with the ruling ideology to make this happen, simply refusing to get over themselves even in clear self-defense. They'd rather hate the weak and tear down each other than resist the onslaught. Totally shameless.
>>190795 friend in the archetypal childhood sense is a beautiful lie sustained by circumstance. And it dwindles as the circumstance recedes; namely, you are both discovering the world until those discoveries depart and responsibilities keep you from bothering from others "adventures"
>>193212 dont older ppl just go to bars and make friends by drinking with strangers. that was my assumption. maybe in the 80s that was how it was… i remember old movies where they do that
>>193215 They do, but that's expensive in itself. And there's a bunch of actual losers, not wizchan losers, but more the bitter crabby types that just ruin everyone's mood.
Many bars are like the boomer version of this place in a way, except they lack the self awareness to realize what they are.
>>193212 I would argue the opposite. It is easier to meet people when you are younger because of how many social situations you are forced into, but finding and keeping a friend is harder. Young people are preoccupied with so many things that it is easy to just lose contact with someone if you don't put in the active effort to hang out with them all the time.
In contrast, older people are typically locked into a routine that prevents them from finding new people. Thing is, a lot of older people claim that they are lonely and need friends so it is pretty easy to make one by just striking up a conversation. It doesn't take much to maintain a friendship when you are older, you can just make something your thing like going fishing twice a year.
Now, if by "friend" you mean someone who will stay up with you all night and listen to your bullshit then, yeah, that ain't gonna happen past your teens. That shit is called a wife.
I'm 29. One reason it's easier to make friends when you're school aged is because you're forced to be around a lot of people you own age. That's obvious. As you grow older, you don't really have those opportunities. And if you fall through the cracks, nobody cares, because why would they, and even if they did, they couldn't help. I don't have any myself. I get lonely, but I try not to let it get to me because in this shitbrained hellhole of a world, it's always one thing or the other, so there's nothing to do about it, really.
Because when you're older everyone is stuck in a job for several hours a day most of the week and there's barely anytime to actually interact with anyone outside that.
>>190828 I've been wondering that too. I just came back here recently (fucked off around 2020) and this place is a lot more friendly to talking about stuff that would get you hanged a few years ago.
>>190795 I feel like you guys are forgetting something really important as well. most normies past age 30 dont want to be close with the loner who was never part of any social group/got married or had kids because they cant relate to you. just like when females dont want to date a guy with no experience
>>195199 I wouldn't say that tbh. what I realised about people after high school is mostly everyone still has to fight their own battles. im not a very judgemental person or that impressionable so people tend to open up to me a lot. i have a facebook i use to talk to me aul ma and its easy to talk to just about anyone on there. i found out on that site that many of the most 'popular' people were depressed or even suicidal.
its kind of funny but i think people who are outcasts tend to assume that attractive people or normies have no problems. i can see why. i mean: they give off a convincing portrayal of someone who is strong, confident, and seems to have everything going for them. but life is a bruising beast. we're all effected by problems. we all have to confront death and the meaninglessness of exist. you would think that these people had strong social ties, too. but that's not always true. if you're a normie you tend to have hundreds of 'friends' but maybe none of them are someone you actually talk to.
so quite a few normies are as depressed and lonely as wizards. you would never know it though. most people dont want to show their weaknesses. its sad though because wizzies migh have actually been very good friends with a normie if the normie were to show their true self. bit of a weird post here, but still. i am writing this reflecting on my own experience in high school many years ago. so much of the way i acted was based on reading people wrong. most of the people i thought were horrible were actually unfailingly nice. most of the people who seemed the happiest were the saddest. >mfw