I have no purpose at life. I just roam. I do this since I was born. Never said one day I'm going to do something. I'm waiting the moment I will say "fine thats' it, thats the day I'll do something with my life" but I know it will never come. I'm a trash
>>300856 I'll try to drink more watta >>300855 no it will lead nowhere.I donnt want advice, I donnt follow them. I'm trying to find answers. I want to believe it will happen when someone says something life changing to me but even that makes me want to not change my life at all. I always lose no matter what I say. I'm not strong enough and get easly hurted
>>300859 How old are you? I'm 29 and still looking for that life-changing answer. Something like a switch, flip it and I'll get my life together. I think I need a life goal, but any goal I can think of, I can't imagine myself actually achieving it.
>>300860 things will never change for a lazy nigger like me >>300861 im 27 apprentice. but like >>300860, you either do shit or you do nothing and if you don't do something nothing will change. I have dreams but I don't know if I will be able to achieve them. god fucks those dreams I'll work on a dead job all my life and thats all
There's no purpose. I was forced to wageslave, time flies by and you suffer. I truly believe you become better when you try to do good. Self destructive tendencies (porn, drugs, trashmedia, processed food,religion,..) all are to grind you down to nothing. If it's all a big nothing let me not give a middlefinger, let me give a prayer before i'm annihilated.
>>300854 Same. I am thinking I could either accept that this is my life forever and just go full lobotomy mode on myself by managing my thoughts such that I think as little as possible about my life. The other is to be delusional and keep trying for that one big break of your life turning over in a moment, that one day you'll wake up, have insane discipline, work 10 hours a day in something you have a massive hidden talent in and in 3 years you become a world famous something. Of course it'll never happen so I'd be prepared to kill myself in the latter.
>>300865 >The other is to be delusional and keep trying for that one big break of your life turning over in a moment, that one day you'll wake up, have insane discipline, work 10 hours a day in something you have a massive hidden talent in and in 3 years you become a world famous something. Of course it'll never happen exactly this it will never happen
everyday i wake up and i have to curse my self for waking up and having to endure another day in this hell no hobbies, no job, nothing i enjoy, completely osctracized from society, i don't talk to my family and my parents hate me. i might have forgot a few others.
>>300867 this life is hellish; I boil inside of me, this is unbearable as a situation, staying at home doing nothing and waiting the time oassing by waiting for something that won't show itself because you have to go pick it up yourself.
Everyone does something with their life. Even rotting alone in your bed all day is doing something. If you wanted to be doing something else then you would be doing that thing. But you aren't so you are fine with this existence on some level. You should just embrace amor fati and make peace with yourself and your life. It's not like anything will change if you make yourself suffer by dreaming about living a life you obviously don't live.
As someone who felt like this all life and has enough time as a NEET to ruminate here are my thoughts:
Consciousness creates a feeling of self-importance. We feel like we have a soul, like life should be fair. But ultimately the mechanics of life aren't that different from animals: we are born with genes and environments we can't control. Whoever has the best conditions thrives. Life is so complex that luck plays a huge role. People use religion to cope with the mismatch of expectations and reality by believing they will have a better life after this one and that there is a higher meaning to life and someone watching over them.
For me growing up in solitude on video games and anime instead of human experiences encouraged this wish to be the main character and do something amazing. But the mismatch between desire and reality, with me being too average for greatness, resulted in depression and avoidance.
Ironically I think the key to a better life is to stop taking it so seriously and accept that life is not a video game that you can 100% and pick the ideal route in. There are no models for living life "the right way". No one wins at life. Everyone is aging. People are creating their personal hell by stressing over missing certain "life achievements". The idea that there exists this ideal life they are missing out creates a mental pain even when their life is fine. With the internet being open to everyone these people find like minded individuals and they all drag each other down together. Social media thrives on this misery because ideals and numbers are easily marketable and create enagement from people comparing themselves. Life is also so complex that it's foolish to think you can plan it out carefully. So much time is wasted thinking you need that ideal job or passion to find happiness when the key is to keep moving and expanding your horizon and take the opportunities as they come.
>>300864 same I lowkey wish religion played a bigger role in my society, even though I'm not religious at all at least there would be some common goal for all to strive towards, and cooperate rather than compete I guess godless and aimless are the same for many people
>learn from your mistakes >what doesn't kill you makes you stronger This sort of mentality is what I'm lacking. I'm always convinced that I'll either fail pointlessly, or that even if I succeed it won't be worth the effort. I any case nothing is worth doing.
>>301094 Well I heard that what it meant back then was exactly what it means today. I guess we're at an impasse. But which reality would better benefit men trying to grow and learn - the one that I hear or the one that you heard? Consider the answer, then consider if the version you heard is the version that ought to be shared.
>>300990 Very good post. The kind of thoughts I come here for. I used to struggle so hard with these imagined visions of greatness, this insane high standard that I held myself to even though I was just a useless depressed youngster who was doing his best. There comes a lot of peace by accepting your lot in life. Maybe you will never move out of your parent's place and have the epic wizcave of your dreams. Maybe you won't ever have the money for that crazy escapist computer setup. I think we need to try to find the answer to the question of "If this was all there is, how could I come to terms with it?". For some this will be harder than others due to luck deciding what life you are born into and your genetic capacity to adapt to it. Some struggle all their lives, unable to cope. But I think a lot of people's situation can improve if they start to let go of the ideas they have of what their lives should look like. I am struggling with these things myself still, walking on a path that often feels too intimidating and stressful and that I often dream of quitting to just do nothing and rot away in my bed. But I know that wouldn't bring the relief I am seeking either. Living means struggling continuously, we just get better at dealing with it.
>>300854 I'll kill myself once I'm 40. I'm 29 now. I wish I was born in a normal country, even a 3rd world country, instead spawned in a war-torn country. People say I'm smart but for fucks sake.. what for? I am TIRED of wageslavery. I am TIRED of alienation No family.. They weren't helpful to me.. Heck.. I lost an eye because of their negligence… I was just promoted at work and will live yet again in another again. I should be happy? NO I AM ANGRY. I AM SO ANGRY. I'm boiling and I do not know WHY. Alcohol doesn't help me anymore. I want something to shut my brain down. I just want to cry in a corner..
There's a saying in Russia - "people don't celebrate their 40th birthday". Health (physical) - steadily declines (slowly or not - that's another thing); mental health - becomes more and more clingy to "life's experience" sampled behaviour, more "rigid" approach to life and such. >People say I'm smart but for fucks sake.. what for?
Same! >I am TIRED of alienation
Same! >No family.. They weren't helpful to me.. Heck.. I lost an eye because of their negligence…
Somehow, I didn't lose my eye after a kindergarten incedent with a pencil. But, it's semi-blind now so I can't see the world in binocular. Kinda wish I were full-on one-eyed - I would wear a funky sparkling glass eyeball and overall have my look matching my wizardchan tier mentality. >I AM ANGRY. I AM SO ANGRY. I'm boiling and I do not know WHY. "Driven by hate, consumed by fear", I know that feel.
I never felt any need to do something with my life. As far as I'm concerned I just want to look at the cool things and then leave. I don't want to be important or valuable to others. Only a guest here passing through briefly.
>>303009 erm… well, I WAS FREQUENTING SAID TYPE OF CHURCH
still do sometimes
Problem is, they LENT
aka go vegan/"partially" vegan for ~150 days a year. I think I have some deficiencies by now, that RUIN MY MOOD (say, B12 vitamin deficiency is a thing among vegans).
>>300854 I have a purpose in life, but my dreams are so impossibly difficult and out of reach compared to my physical limits, that everyday feels like an unbearable slog to get through. Only now am I slowly learning how to let go of my compulsions, fixations, to allow myself to drown in the negativity instead of coping with it or 'managing' it. I don't listen to advice or even follow instructions, infact I have no routine or schedule because I am incapable of listening to instruction, doing as I'm told, doing what I'm 'supposed' to. I don't respond to structure.
So I've learned to just let my subconcious sort it out, naturally. I've learned to work with my limits. I can't create an artistic masterpiece or even muster the energy to draw, fine, let me make something out of gluing newspaper scrap and build my energy slowly from there.
Work with what you have, anon. Work with what's most immediately available, what's most easiest, what feels the most effortless, and do things slowly from there. There's no rush, we're all gonna die anyway, anyways. Whatever. Take your time with whatever difficulty you're facing. Remember that many problems you face in life solve themselves, often intervention perpetuates them, such as in the case of intrusive thoughts or mental overload from your subconcious flooding you with unprocessed thoughts.
I don't know what waits for me. I can only wait and see. I wonder if fate will fully free me by the end…