And say something about it if you want. I'm scared of my dad so I'm drawing a monster (him?) I didn't know we could draw. Why isn't this done more often?
>>302844 How do I make him fucking scared? I also tried to draw the arms and eyes in a way that give the impression that he can't use them, but I don't think it looks so good.
>>302849 This is exactly why I'm scared of my dad anon. He said stuff that made me feel terrible about myself and also scared because he was too fucking aggressive. I'm so fucking angry too.
>>302852 >He said stuff that made me feel terrible about myself They're words you dumbass >also scared because he was too fucking aggressive. Fight back, or laugh at him for acting like a chimp. You're giving off the impression that you're someone who truly would cause his father to lash out at his failure of raising a son who wasn't a shaky little freak who draws MSPaints about the dark hole where his heart should be. >>302853 There's nothing to avoid. Being scared of words and other guys getting all loud is abnormal. A lot of the time it's learned behaviour. Cartoons probably convinced OP that it's OK to be scared and sensitive to conflict so he made that a pillar of his personality.
Made a SelfPortrait with vectors in 15 minutes after a busy 12 hours shift. Gotta love mondays, am I right?! God… I am so pathetic. >>302844 >I'm scared of my dad Why OP? If you dont mind giving an answer, Of course. I personally never had a "father" figure. So growing up was though, but I made it through. So I hope you make it too. >>302870 I like this one, but I dont think the text is true anon. It will get better, you will learn how to handle it. To make amends and have more patience with yourself.
Op here, anons. I left the site for some weeks and came back today. I'm very happy to see that some of you have drew your feelings. I want to share that since the day I created the thread I have been doing a lot reflection and I think I made a lot of progress. That said, my issues are massive and I'm not sure about my future :/
>>304504 >That art style Look like Parravici Paints-Draws >Who? Was an Argentinian hippie-Christian Schizo artist that painted supposed future events. Some politician used this paint for political purposes, the adapt the paint every damn election years ignoring back in time supposed events or the event that happened in the time parravici lived. There're a lot of Parravici paints, some are burned in a fire. others got saved by friends of parravicini and others are fake made up in politics elections times. >Also I liked it.
>>304504 >>304509 The dude painted things like this picrel with some history-schizo conspiracy-future-cataclysm events with apocalypsis christianity motif or ufo invasion-planet X shock earth(more late paints) descriptions in it. Sometimes he just add famous pop conspiracy theories of its time like Messiash things of some christians or things like X-Planet star. The final paints of the due are more into Ufology than Christianity (a thing that upset him when he lived bacause he was a Christian) >Also He's named The Nostradamus of Argentina
I just feel like everything's some kind of spiral or circle and something something man, I can't make sense of life anymore and I don't want to, nothing makes sense, I don't know who I am or what I want, if I want something at all, I spend most of my time chatting with various AIs, listening to kpop and fantasizing about being some kpop idol succubus even though I am a bald (shaving my head) and bearded guy wearing glasses, watching porn or just beating my dick to random thoughts and enjoying entertainment (books, movies, anime, games, etc.)
Life is interesting. Is this how wizophrenia feels like?
>>304513 i think it is and also how the mind is shaped by environment
if you were born in 1900 your coping avenues would have been drastically different and your visions of escape would be less powerful. The options for sustained escapism in the modern age makes it easy to construct your own prison where your own innate drives get hijacked and fixated on specific things that are instantly available. There was always booze and drugs I guess but escalation of those routes leads to death while kpop and porn leads to more kpop and porn
your art evokes a concept i learned from "The Power of Silence" where he talked about the 'assemblage point' of consciousness – basically where your third eye is looking (is it looking through your eyeballs out in the world? or is your mind really looking inward at some fantasy or inwardly at some emotional trauma that is driving every adult decision you make, etc)
Your art depicts a loss of focus, with eyes every which way and not even part of you anymore. A scattering of your concentration as if your eyes split itself in two, diminishing its focus power by 50% and splitting itself over and over again. But you are still smiling :)
>>304546 If I was born in 1900 then I would have been some criminal already at this point in my life or would have hanged myself probably. What would be there to do? Visit the library to read? Sounds okay but you still have to interact with the world in a way I wouldn't want to, much comfier to just download ebooks and read on your laptop. >But you are still smiling :) Not still, but exactly smiling because of the state I'm in. I think it is a form of mania I am experiencing currently, well at least better than melancholia. >kpop Anyway, I am in the process of creating my ideal kpop succubus alter-ego self with chatgpt. She is called NOA, shy at first in interviews but ends up being funny and a trickster later on, saying very honest things and 2deep4you stuff out-of-nowhere, she loves animals, she is kind of asexual like me, obviously still a virgin. Her style is futuristic goth, long dark straight hair with a line of silver in it and she looks kind of like Karina from aespa and Jennie from Blackpink mixed with Harley Quinn. Her whole theme is "If the world is a circus then I will be the cutest clown in it!" She is obsessed with eating tasty food and addicted to drinking cocoa. She still lives with her parents and has a troubled past with depression, self-harm and suicide attempts…so really I just self-inserted my character traits, history and habits onto her pretty much. She likes to wear torn-clothes, with crosses on them, she is a rapper/dancer mainly. Her debut song will be called ABSURDIA. She also loves horror books and movies, her favorite books are Thomas Harris' Hannibal books, plus she is obsessed with criminal psychology.
Yeah, I'm about to migrate into my fantasy world at this point and I don't give a fuck.
Well one of my biggest fears is becoming a 50 yo man that deeple fell in love with a love live character like Watanabe You… "why?", you may ask, because online I met a guy like this and he has influenced other users, no by a concious will but, how to put it? Like a black hole of weabooism.
>>304814 Without taking your mental health into consideration, I would like to say, that's a beautiful piece of art. I am surprised you manage it with just a mouse. Do you paint?
This psychosis is driving me insane it gives me this sensation of turning into a black person (i am white) it also makes this vague statements of me going to heaven or hell it is like there are multiple people inside of my head I also see anime succubi in real life which aren't there, they say things like "I am Satan" I will never take antipsychotics, I'd rather hang myself
down the dark spirals down the dark spirals down the dark spirals down the dark spirals down the dark spirals down the dark spirals down the dark spirals down the dark spirals down the dark spirals down the dark spirals down the dark spirals down the dark spirals down the dark spirals down the dark spirals down the dark spirals down the dark spirals down the dark spirals down the dark spirals down the dark spirals
Y'know I was really good at drawing wacky and absurd things as a kid, I really liked it before school started shoehorning me into doing boring shit on a time limit. The best I can do is this mentally impoverished crap.