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A few days ago, I made a thread about changing my lifestyle.
It has been a week. My urges for porn, junk food, and internet in general have vanished. For the first time in my life, I had no interested in using the internet. Read & learnt a lot. My skin, my lips, my nails, my smell, my mind, everything was improved significantly. My energy was off the charts.
Unfortunately, I took a long pause and asked myself "to what end?"
Yesterday, a cluster of bad memories about my dark childhood hit me so hard. All the sudden, all my past was unfolded in front of me. I was crying for the first time in many, many years. I didn't cry when I went to prison. I didn't cry when I was expelled from college. I didn't cry when I saw my young parents dying (in fact I didn't care. Didn't have any emotion or empathy for them).
One of you said "Do [all my goals], then what?" Didn't understand that sentence until now.
Porn, social media, & junk food helped me soothe my mind. They helped me escape from a horrific reality.
The fact that we wake up every single morning and not commit suicide is crazy. Just like food and sex. The cells that control our brains want us alive to prolong the cycle of nature.
"What's the point of living?" We've all asked this question. Only a very few of us did the right thing.
Females don't mind carrying & raising a baby that will break her back and makes her life full of agony. It's not her who wants the baby. It's the cells that want her kind to survive.
I don't know if you guys understand what I'm saying. We don't have control over ourselves. "We are driven by our natural instincts that are not only limited to eating, mating, playing, and sleeping."
It has been a week. My urges for porn, junk food, and internet in general have vanished. For the first time in my life, I had no interested in using the internet. Read & learnt a lot. My skin, my lips, my nails, my smell, my mind, everything was improved significantly. My energy was off the charts.
Unfortunately, I took a long pause and asked myself "to what end?"
Yesterday, a cluster of bad memories about my dark childhood hit me so hard. All the sudden, all my past was unfolded in front of me. I was crying for the first time in many, many years. I didn't cry when I went to prison. I didn't cry when I was expelled from college. I didn't cry when I saw my young parents dying (in fact I didn't care. Didn't have any emotion or empathy for them).
One of you said "Do [all my goals], then what?" Didn't understand that sentence until now.
Porn, social media, & junk food helped me soothe my mind. They helped me escape from a horrific reality.
The fact that we wake up every single morning and not commit suicide is crazy. Just like food and sex. The cells that control our brains want us alive to prolong the cycle of nature.
"What's the point of living?" We've all asked this question. Only a very few of us did the right thing.
Females don't mind carrying & raising a baby that will break her back and makes her life full of agony. It's not her who wants the baby. It's the cells that want her kind to survive.
I don't know if you guys understand what I'm saying. We don't have control over ourselves. "We are driven by our natural instincts that are not only limited to eating, mating, playing, and sleeping."
I don't understand why people are smiling. To me, it's an absurd behavior. We are suffering & dying slowly. We got used to it. The uplifiting moments your brain pushes to prevent you from collapsing are very few and far between.
>I don't know if you guys understand what I'm saying
Well, what you're saying is 90% of /dep/ content over years.
Well, what you're saying is 90% of /dep/ content over years.
>>227511
every biography is the history of suffering, for every life is, as a rule, a continual series of great and small misfortunes, which each one conceals as much as possible, because he knows that others can seldom feel sympathy or compassion, but almost always satisfaction at the sight of the woes from which they are themselves for the moment exempt. But perhaps at the end of life, if a man is sincere and in full possession of his faculties, he will never wish to have it to live over again, but rather than this, he will much prefer absolute annihilation.
every biography is the history of suffering, for every life is, as a rule, a continual series of great and small misfortunes, which each one conceals as much as possible, because he knows that others can seldom feel sympathy or compassion, but almost always satisfaction at the sight of the woes from which they are themselves for the moment exempt. But perhaps at the end of life, if a man is sincere and in full possession of his faculties, he will never wish to have it to live over again, but rather than this, he will much prefer absolute annihilation.
>>227498
At least no matter how negative or positive you evaluate your lifestyle changes right now, we already have a result here in front of our eyes: A questioning, doubting, thinking wizard that shares with us some of his insights. If you ask me that's an achievement in itself. There is no point, of course everyone 'knows' this and 4chad uses this sentiment against any path of philosophy and even legitimates full blown normie path, sex and mindless consumption with it, which as you have mentioned could be one result of this insight. That's too easy I think. Actually I'd say that the path of thinking has a point in itself. The virtue of shutting away mindless pleasure is a double-edged sword. I don't think many people are made for that, I certainly am not, as I tend to be quite hedonistic. That's not a confession, I openly indulge in hedonism. But there is a different kind of pleasure availabe to us that is hard to even acknowledge since it's almost invisible and it takes lots of mental focus to feel and take part in this hidden pleasure. However I think this hidden pleasure (I don't like calling it spiritual, it's not esoteric or religious at all, it's just a mental focus that we can achieve, not so much a feeling but rather a state of clarity, or in one word: Ataraxia)is much more fulfilling and universal than short term pleasure and so on. I had it a few times in my life but sadly reality stole it from me, it was not lasting although I am certain that some of it is still in me and kind of structures my presence.
I'd like to see more posts like yours. Maybe you can get access to this hidden pleasure, but don't force it as it is not just something you can gain through meditation or something alike, still it needs time, withdrawal and, let's say momentum. Well, >>227505 kind of is right, and you haven't something genuinly new, but you came to these conclusions yourself and if you keep going this path there will be deeper findings. And I have to say, ataraxia is not about finding new insights. I certainly haven't had a thought or idea in my life that is truly new or special or worthwhile for the world to see, although I often had this thought. The real key is the insights you get become a form of clarity that you didn't know before, your previous knowledge of the world and yourself becomes animated.
At least no matter how negative or positive you evaluate your lifestyle changes right now, we already have a result here in front of our eyes: A questioning, doubting, thinking wizard that shares with us some of his insights. If you ask me that's an achievement in itself. There is no point, of course everyone 'knows' this and 4chad uses this sentiment against any path of philosophy and even legitimates full blown normie path, sex and mindless consumption with it, which as you have mentioned could be one result of this insight. That's too easy I think. Actually I'd say that the path of thinking has a point in itself. The virtue of shutting away mindless pleasure is a double-edged sword. I don't think many people are made for that, I certainly am not, as I tend to be quite hedonistic. That's not a confession, I openly indulge in hedonism. But there is a different kind of pleasure availabe to us that is hard to even acknowledge since it's almost invisible and it takes lots of mental focus to feel and take part in this hidden pleasure. However I think this hidden pleasure (I don't like calling it spiritual, it's not esoteric or religious at all, it's just a mental focus that we can achieve, not so much a feeling but rather a state of clarity, or in one word: Ataraxia)is much more fulfilling and universal than short term pleasure and so on. I had it a few times in my life but sadly reality stole it from me, it was not lasting although I am certain that some of it is still in me and kind of structures my presence.
I'd like to see more posts like yours. Maybe you can get access to this hidden pleasure, but don't force it as it is not just something you can gain through meditation or something alike, still it needs time, withdrawal and, let's say momentum. Well, >>227505 kind of is right, and you haven't something genuinly new, but you came to these conclusions yourself and if you keep going this path there will be deeper findings. And I have to say, ataraxia is not about finding new insights. I certainly haven't had a thought or idea in my life that is truly new or special or worthwhile for the world to see, although I often had this thought. The real key is the insights you get become a form of clarity that you didn't know before, your previous knowledge of the world and yourself becomes animated.
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>>227498
>Do [all my goals], then what?
Now live in the present moment. Understand that the most mundane things are special gifts because you are experiencing them. Know that a task repeated billions of times by billions of people is meaningful to you because you are personally experiencing it.
Live with the all-pervasing meaning or kill yourself.
This is Gnosis.
>Do [all my goals], then what?
Now live in the present moment. Understand that the most mundane things are special gifts because you are experiencing them. Know that a task repeated billions of times by billions of people is meaningful to you because you are personally experiencing it.
Live with the all-pervasing meaning or kill yourself.
This is Gnosis.
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The "And then what?" question can drive away virtue and happiness and leave you digging into the dirt looking for any purpose in life. The farther away we step back to take the perspective the less meaning and purpose we see. Humans are happiest when they take the narrowest cognitive slice possible. Normalfags are able to switch from task to task, and keep their minds occupied on the present.We are not meant to explore the full mental landscape available to us.
>>227498
Everything got better and you relapsed on addictions? Who wouldn't thought. If one day of self-reflection broke you down, there's no hope or point in staying sober and staying outside the herd of addicts. At least you tried, heh.
Everything got better and you relapsed on addictions? Who wouldn't thought. If one day of self-reflection broke you down, there's no hope or point in staying sober and staying outside the herd of addicts. At least you tried, heh.
>>227568
Sure, let's keep picking on people trying to do something deviating from the norm and not-trivial to justify your own ways. That trait has been programmed into all of us by evolution to keep people on the edge of the herd in check. It's already worthwhile to not be addicted to a myriad of stimuli, if only to be able to face life easier.
Sure, let's keep picking on people trying to do something deviating from the norm and not-trivial to justify your own ways. That trait has been programmed into all of us by evolution to keep people on the edge of the herd in check. It's already worthwhile to not be addicted to a myriad of stimuli, if only to be able to face life easier.
>>227570
I'm not picking on anyone, i'm sayin both ways are pointless, addicts at least have some fun, what do wokers have?
>face life easier
How?
I'm not picking on anyone, i'm sayin both ways are pointless, addicts at least have some fun, what do wokers have?
>face life easier
How?
>>227571
the argument to just be addicted and have fun doesn't work, if you're put in a mental hospital or a job, where you can't use them to "soothe the mind". When life is a nightmare and you jerk off and watch videos, eating junk food laying down, how does that make it any better, other than help you kill time and sleep? It's hell either way
>>227573
another post proving that all you do is attack recovering addicts, just like polaks in the painted bird
the argument to just be addicted and have fun doesn't work, if you're put in a mental hospital or a job, where you can't use them to "soothe the mind". When life is a nightmare and you jerk off and watch videos, eating junk food laying down, how does that make it any better, other than help you kill time and sleep? It's hell either way
>>227573
another post proving that all you do is attack recovering addicts, just like polaks in the painted bird
>>227575
>how does that make it any better
it fucking soothes
>put in a mental hospital or a job, where you can't use them
then it will be a time to die
>how does that make it any better
it fucking soothes
>put in a mental hospital or a job, where you can't use them
then it will be a time to die
>>227498
Yes, we understand completely what you mean, see the thread on brain chemicals, they essentially run your life, and your genetic code is the parasite inside you that wishes to thrive off the back of your suffering >>>/wiz/167228
Yes, we understand completely what you mean, see the thread on brain chemicals, they essentially run your life, and your genetic code is the parasite inside you that wishes to thrive off the back of your suffering >>>/wiz/167228
>>227895
Masturbating is one of the few things that actually give you a short relief of the pain of hemorrhoids though.
Masturbating is one of the few things that actually give you a short relief of the pain of hemorrhoids though.
>>227929
What. It's the inflation of all sorts of muscles there, add a log of poop and you have a clusterfuck of organs pushing each other.
What. It's the inflation of all sorts of muscles there, add a log of poop and you have a clusterfuck of organs pushing each other.
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>>227931
Do you know how ejaculation works?
Do you know how ejaculation works?
>>227575
>the argument to just be addicted and have fun doesn't work
It absolutely does. I was hooked on GHB for 2 years, using it literally every single day. I haven't used it for a few months now but I definitely will use it again. I don't want to encourage other wizards to use drugs as they aren't for everyone, but I can honestly say those two years were by far the best in my life. The most entertaining, the most joyous, the daily bliss which I thought would dull over time but aside from getting a tolerance never really did.
Any "recovered" drug addict is fucking lying to himself. Ask an Alcoholics Anonymous when the last time they had a drink was. They'll tell you to the fucking hour. They change their addiction from the drug to talking about how they aren't addicted to the drug, it's embarrassingly pathetic.
I hate to break it to you but self improvement is largely bullshit. Your post in the OP basically acknowledges it.
>the argument to just be addicted and have fun doesn't work
It absolutely does. I was hooked on GHB for 2 years, using it literally every single day. I haven't used it for a few months now but I definitely will use it again. I don't want to encourage other wizards to use drugs as they aren't for everyone, but I can honestly say those two years were by far the best in my life. The most entertaining, the most joyous, the daily bliss which I thought would dull over time but aside from getting a tolerance never really did.
Any "recovered" drug addict is fucking lying to himself. Ask an Alcoholics Anonymous when the last time they had a drink was. They'll tell you to the fucking hour. They change their addiction from the drug to talking about how they aren't addicted to the drug, it's embarrassingly pathetic.
I hate to break it to you but self improvement is largely bullshit. Your post in the OP basically acknowledges it.
>>228003
Cheers to this wiz.
My only addiction is junk food, and eating healthy + losing weight did absolutely no mood improvement, in fact made me just generally bored.
Cheers to this wiz.
My only addiction is junk food, and eating healthy + losing weight did absolutely no mood improvement, in fact made me just generally bored.
>>228003
Just because you enjoy something to the point of doing it everyday doesnt make it bad. it sounds like GHB improved your life. An addiction is something that damages your life because you cant stop even when you want to and know it is harming your life
Just because you enjoy something to the point of doing it everyday doesnt make it bad. it sounds like GHB improved your life. An addiction is something that damages your life because you cant stop even when you want to and know it is harming your life
>>227528
Genuine wizdom
>>227563
I tell you: I've never meant to find a purpose for life. Then I found it, and I constantly wish eternal non-existance since then.
>>227894
Wizards do, but it is a loss.
>>228005
You can actually start purity fastings even if you do junk food.
For the brainfog, mainly…
sometimes is overwhelming.
Genuine wizdom
>>227563
I tell you: I've never meant to find a purpose for life. Then I found it, and I constantly wish eternal non-existance since then.
>>227894
Wizards do, but it is a loss.
>>228005
You can actually start purity fastings even if you do junk food.
For the brainfog, mainly…
sometimes is overwhelming.
>>227511
imagine a society that subjects people to conditions that make them terribly unhappy then gives them the drugs to take away their unhappiness. Science fiction It is already happening to some extent in our own society. Instead of removing the conditions that make people depressed modern society gives them antidepressant drugs. In effect antidepressants are a means of modifying an individual's internal state in such a way as to enable him to tolerate social conditions that he would otherwise find intolerable.
imagine a society that subjects people to conditions that make them terribly unhappy then gives them the drugs to take away their unhappiness. Science fiction It is already happening to some extent in our own society. Instead of removing the conditions that make people depressed modern society gives them antidepressant drugs. In effect antidepressants are a means of modifying an individual's internal state in such a way as to enable him to tolerate social conditions that he would otherwise find intolerable.
>>229231
Imagine a society where you demand people work for free in order to give you neetbux.
Imagine a society where you demand people work for free in order to give you neetbux.
>>227538
Thank you for your insights fellow wiz.Those words certainly gave some food for thought…for better or worse.
Thank you for your insights fellow wiz.Those words certainly gave some food for thought…for better or worse.
>>228003
Sorry but I don't understand your situation at all. How the hell did a puny substance that doesn't even last that long make your 2 years suddenly better? I think those 2 years were genuinely better for you, or it's just me who genuinely doesn't understand drug addiction. I'm not making fun of you tho, If somebody explained that'd be interesting
Sorry but I don't understand your situation at all. How the hell did a puny substance that doesn't even last that long make your 2 years suddenly better? I think those 2 years were genuinely better for you, or it's just me who genuinely doesn't understand drug addiction. I'm not making fun of you tho, If somebody explained that'd be interesting
I'm dealing with this question on a nearly daily basis. Surely there must be more to life than eating, drinking, smoking, and fucking. Surely there must be a bigger reason for us all being here at this time in this place on this planet in this timeline together. Is there a greater purpose for us individually or collectively? Is chasing the answer to this question a fruitless endeavor that will only lead to emptiness and unfulfillment? I don't want to live a life of ignorant bliss and ignore the greater truths of the world, but I don't want to torture myself trying to find red herrings either.
honestly im just alive for the show.
nothing brings me happiness, i just want to see what crazy shit goes down on earth or as long as i am alive
nothing brings me happiness, i just want to see what crazy shit goes down on earth or as long as i am alive
>>227498
Obviously im not coming at you with any solutions for this one but I do know exactly what you're talking about. Like I will literally write a to-do list containing every possible activity I could do that day including "sleeping" and "eating" because otherwise I will go off the rails. But when I go to do it I'm always like "but why" > "have to eat something to survive" > "but why" > "i have to survive and i dont want to be in pain" > "but why" and then it goes along like this for a while, all other activities being incidental like keeping a job, as the job coalesces to the food problem. Maybe we just have philosopher brains or something like we would have been saying all of this in the Greek forum but the only thought that helps me a little is this thing, don't know why but it's just comforting.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tetrapharmakos
Obviously im not coming at you with any solutions for this one but I do know exactly what you're talking about. Like I will literally write a to-do list containing every possible activity I could do that day including "sleeping" and "eating" because otherwise I will go off the rails. But when I go to do it I'm always like "but why" > "have to eat something to survive" > "but why" > "i have to survive and i dont want to be in pain" > "but why" and then it goes along like this for a while, all other activities being incidental like keeping a job, as the job coalesces to the food problem. Maybe we just have philosopher brains or something like we would have been saying all of this in the Greek forum but the only thought that helps me a little is this thing, don't know why but it's just comforting.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tetrapharmakos
death are the meaning of our life, its death that cause us to go to work, to act, to play the role of life, death is the drive to all of it.
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>>227498
>Porn, social media, & junk food helped me soothe my mind. They helped me escape from a horrific reality.
But they won't serve you anymore beyond a certain point while you UNDERMINE your health and mind.
I think you are ready for Holotropic Breathwork, for you resemble that phase of Warp Wanings that has ended inside a physical context. You seem blissfully ready to keep delving here… or at least to avoid being punched in the throat by destiny in such a hard way (as a warped wizard).
Keep the research, and stay patient.
Think about death and difficulties while the answers may come.
>Porn, social media, & junk food helped me soothe my mind. They helped me escape from a horrific reality.
But they won't serve you anymore beyond a certain point while you UNDERMINE your health and mind.
I think you are ready for Holotropic Breathwork, for you resemble that phase of Warp Wanings that has ended inside a physical context. You seem blissfully ready to keep delving here… or at least to avoid being punched in the throat by destiny in such a hard way (as a warped wizard).
Keep the research, and stay patient.
Think about death and difficulties while the answers may come.