/dep/ - Depression

My life is not suffering, it is very far from it, and I have really improved a lot this last year, to the point that I feel like a different person, however, events happened in my childhood that made me a failure. First of all, there was the divorce, I have a kind of "dissociative amnesia" or forgetfulness due to age because I don't remember, it happened when I was 4-6 years old, it wouldn't be strange at all if it weren't for the fact that it was a very scandalous one that caused a lot of domestic violence, I have no memories but my brothers confessed to me that it was torture, but this would be bad for us if I had not lost my father figure, I separated from him, especially emotionally, and I was very much in charge of my mother.

She is like an older borderline, her personality is a disaster, her emotions too, very irritable and hostile, selfish, manipulative, condescending, she had attacks of multiple things, in short she is a very disturbed succubus. She gave me a bipolar affection, her love was based on talking badly about my father and making him look like a monster and then acting as if she were my savior, there she took advantage of my vulnerability to treat me well and give me affection, but that was very far from reality because on the other hand she ignored me, abandoned me, hit me for no reason and constantly insulted me, all the time she humiliated me and lowered my self-esteem, she was controlling as well as negligent, out of nowhere her affection became cold or contemptuous. Because of that same attitude, she left me in the care of caregivers, family members and nannies who sexually abused me. Over the years I remembered them as if they were flashbacks or regressions. The memory that had the most impact was one where I was lying on my back, very small and unattended. An older succubus changed my underwear, then she groped me and then gave me a very painful anal masturbation. After that I remember more groping, stripping, excihibitions and touching my rear and anal area along with mistreatment. I don't remember exactly the identity of the succubi. who did that, I only remember that they were succubi and older than me, much older because those memories are from my old home, which was where I spent my life before I was 6 or 7 years old. I'm sorry for throwing out all this relief text, I know there are people who need more help than me, but I'm lucky and I shouldn't be sad about these things.