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Depression
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File: 1704590168109.png (137.18 KB, 360x297, 40:33, ClipboardImage.png) ImgOps iqdb

 No.287651

I'm literally repulsive, I've been doing it since pre-K. You have your quiet nerd introvert types, and they are inoffensive and can be friends with others like them. And then you have the true freaks, that no one, not even nerds can stand to be around.

I guess its classic Aspergers. Like if I was going to start with a list of my traits that annoy people, it would be a list down the DSM V. Obsessiveness, fixation, monologuing, inability to read people, inappropriate sense of humor. Its like I get so fixated on topics. And even if I'm trying to avoid my own aspie fixations, and talk about someone else's interest in the weather, I'll lecture on the theory of meteorology.

Even on the internet when I'm just text on the screen, even right here on Wizchan, I find myself annoying people and becoming X-guy. Even on the most innocuous topics I attract negative attention and irritate people. If I only talked about the weather they'd say oh look cloud-poster is at it again.

Not only have I never had a friend, I've never had anyone want to have a conversation with me for 5 minutes. Tons of times, I think we've having friendly chitchat, making a good connection, they are intrigued by me. But the proof is in the pudding. And however good I think an interaction went, no one ever wants to chat another 5 minutes with me at another time.

I think of myself as an open-minded guy, willing to chat with anyone about virtually any topic, and be friendly about it. Somehow millions of guys with terrible nasty personalities somehow have friends.

I also have a retard, monotone, flat lisp. And I'd blame it on that, except that I have the same experience even as just text on a screen. It just seems so terrible to be around me. Yet if I'm honest, I can't stand listening to 10 seconds of my voice on recording. So I don't have much tolerance for me either.

 No.287663

>>287651
First off, if you really believe these things about yourself (which you seem to do), you are a priori setting yourself up for failure in every interaction you have before even having it.

I personally found nothing irritating/repulsive/annoying/obnoxious in your post at all. Let go of thinking these things about yourself, let go of anticipating or assuming to anticipate how others will react to you, and things likely will turn out much better. You carry too strongly the dark mnemonic shadow of all previous social experiences in your mind and these are falsely coloring all new social experiences you are undertaking. I would have suspected nothing of the things you wrote about yourself had you not made mention of them.

And conversely, even if others do feel this way about you (which I doubt), who cares? You really do need to accept yourself for who you are and steel this conception of yourself against any rejection and criticism. Normies (like w*o*m*en) are responsive to brutality, authority, rudeness, and cruelty. If you approach them with kindness and intelligence and maybe even some nervousness, they will immediately feel put off and out of social reflex shun you. This however is not a judgement against your worth, but theirs. Also, what's wrong with Asperger's? While socially it may hinder you, inwardly, privately, intellectually, it makes you super-human.

"Yet if I'm honest, I can't stand listening to 10 seconds of my voice on recording. So I don't have much tolerance for me either." This is exactly your problem – you dislike yourself. Why? Is it really simply because others respond to you poorly? Is that all it took to make you dislike yourself? We aren't kids…wanting every single person to respond positively to you is something children go through, but as wizardly adults we should be manfully far beyond that. You have no reason to feel bad about yourself, and it pains me to think of a fellow wizard being influenced into hating himself by stupid normscum.

 No.287693

You are the perfect person to interact with actual robots.

 No.287695

>>287663
While its true I can't stand to hear audio of myself. When I'm actually talking I think I sound much better than I do. And over a lifetime there have probably been 100s of interactions that I thought went well and friendly. So despite my pic its not that I always went into interactions like an Eeore. Its only in hindsight reflecting over my whole biography that I see this consistency despite all my best optimistic attempts.

 No.287790

>>287651
I love you. Sincerely.

 No.288594

>>287651
I feel the same

 No.288609

>>287663
These kind of posts are rare here

 No.288654

>>287651
I know how you feel. I do not get along with anyone. I rub everyone the wrong way. Even on this site I have been permanently banned multiples times for being too outspoken and abrasive. I am extremely irritating and don’t really fit in even amongst the most deprived losers. I don’t enjoy negative attention and I don’t seek it out but I’m just so weird and obnoxious that I’m accidentally an internet troll.

 No.288655

>>288654
My opinions are perceived by everyone but me as insane. Everything I write looks like a shitpost even if I’m being genuine. Joining any game or forum or form of social media with moderation is basically a countdown until my participation privileges are revoked. I have had my ass beat multiple times growing up because it’s only a matter of time before I say something so egregious that people literally want to murder me. These days I mostly just stay quiet and don’t try to engage in any conversation with anyone in public because I know I’d probably end up unemployed.

 No.288660

>>287651
I feel the same way I've noticed it is my ability not to keep up with people and mind blanks out so I start going auto pilot saying non sense that I think makes sense. I tried to fix it but it just shows this is who I am and I am doomed to not have deep human connection.

 No.288975

>>288654
>>288655
I've posted in forums and worked with people described here. Yeah, they usually weren't liked at all but I actually admired their alternative, admittedly sometimes retarded takes because most people are bots now.



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