/dep/ - Depression

you can go on for years like that.

This was me in my 20s because I was still not tired of consuming yet. Imageboards, video games and tv could still distract me.

But now I'm tired of all of it because the novelty wore off and everything new is just something I've seen before but slightly different. Entertainment is at an all time low in quality even if I wasn't depressed.

So there is nothing I can distract myself with anymore. I would probably get addicted to drugs if I had access to them. I tried drinking but it doesn't make me feel joy.

>>289377
Couldn't have said it better. This is why the vast majority of wizards cease to exist by their mid-late 30s.
It's just too shit of an existence to keep continuing.

The copes run out at some point. Your body realizes that despite what imageboards or discords with other wizards tell you, you should already be taking care of your children and legacy, have if not career then at least a decent job, and a real project to pour your energy into, like your own house.
But it never happens, life keeps moving on. Video games, alcohol, junk food give less and less happiness every day while unhappiness increases.

So far I've been able to distract myself from the mess of an existence my life is at 31 but not for long. When you live this hell yourself like I do, you start realizing why most wizards born in the 80s and 70s already offed themselves.
The few that exist on Youtube are walking human ruins instead of enlightened gurus.

Part of the problem is also neurodivergency, most of our brains are simply too different from 'normies' to simply "pull ourselves by the bootstraps" like our parents demand. It's not humanly possible. This fate under these social conditions was fated the moment we were born.

>>289403
I'm in my 30s and still find media fun. It sounds like you're trying to guilt trip people here for enjoying things.

>>289406
I'm not. I'm genuinely happy for you if you have any source of happiness in your life whatsoever. Anything that still releases dopamine.

>>289409
Well post-burnout you just consume slop or nothing. This is why you see boomers consuming dogshit music and tv series from 60s and 70s still. It's not because they have no taste, they probably already saw everything good.

>>289377
>>289403
I'm a 22 year old wizkid without a place in society - broke, no job, no qualifications, no social life. I realize it's pretty much over for me but I still find consooming fun so my plan is to just consoom as much anime, junk food, and pot as I can until I either get sick of it or run out of good anime. I feel like at that point, I would feel like I have done all that I wanted to do that was possible for me and have no doubts about suicide.

I find that this is why it is easier to live in complete isolation. The more divorced you are from "real life" the easier it is to distract yourself and make yourself forget about it all. Eventually though, life will remind you that it's there still not being lived, still slipping by and you will realize what you have lost from time to time. It's unavoidable.

>>289413
>22
>over

stop
you are like a baby
you can easily get these things with some effort. few will expect you to have done anything by 22

>>289416
If you haven't figured it out in 22 years, then how much is another decade or two going to help? The idea that you can just wake up at 22 and be like, oh time to live my life. Time to figure out how living in a society works. All my years of general education and socialization did nothing but if I just decide then…wew! It's a silly power fantasy.

>>289416
equally likely to be bait as a real post because kids say dumb things like that. 22 is a little kid still. at 22 your life hasnt even started and you are saying its over. you are going to hate yourself in a decades time. too bad, you could totally turn it around.

no idea why you guys are so caught up in yourselves and this idea of what you've 'achieved' with your life. it's all a lottery, people don't achieve anything on their own, nobody can take credit for anything, because nobody chooses their genes, is responsible for their genes, their starting conditions, or any of the variables that are intricately tied to their being a 'success' or not. none of that is in your control none of that does anyone do anything to deserve, yet they get all prideful and puff themselves up about what 'they've' done. nobody earns or deserves anything.

if anything, the more successful you are the worse off you are because you have to be a real belligerent spirit to do well in this world. no good person does well, they cannot compete, at best they will make a simple modest living. you only a 'success' in this society if you are a sociopath, and it will get worse.

'success' means, i was good at stealing more of the pie for myself from other people, ensuring that not only did i get my share, i got a bunch of other peoples shares too.

that is what success is, and i'm glad i will never be successful, because this is a zero sum game, in which every gain is at the loss of another individual, and there is only so much to go around. yet the people with it all keep taking more, they're successful, they're good, they deserve it right? to take even more from people who have nothing.

dont get caught up in your place in society, only try to live a righteous life, and be a good wizard. let the animals tear each other apart with the rat race, don't allow them to corrupt and absorb you into their value systems. by feeling depressed and expressing the sentiment you have expressed, you're already fallen into that trap.

>>289347
That's how it is. The intensity of the ups and downs may vary between individuals, but that's how days go by.

>>289403
>you start realizing why most wizards born in the 80s and 70s already offed themselves.
You are underestimating how hard it is to commit suicide.

>>289411
>This is why you see boomers consuming dogshit music and tv series from 60s and 70s still. It's not because they have no taste, they probably already saw everything good.
Definitely not the case. There is so much good stuff out of there, even coming out today, if you just know how to search, that if you happen to watch low quality entertainment it's just because you either don't know how to find better stuff or because you're content with that. Most boomers never even ever heard good music, some never even explored classical, for example.

>>289413
>consoom as much anime, junk food, and pot as I can until I either get sick of it or run out of good anime. I feel like at that point, I would feel like I have done all that I wanted to do that was possible for me
Yeah, no. There will be place for various form of regret.

>>289416
Bluepill psychology: truth is your brain is set in stone when you are like a 10 years old even; if you are the depressed type you are not going to turn your life around at 16, 20, 30, or at any point ever.

>>289425
Definitely not the case. There is so much good stuff out of there, even coming out today, if you just know how to search, that if you happen to watch low quality entertainment it's just because you either don't know how to find better stuff or because you're content with that. Most boomers never even ever heard good music, some never even explored classical, for example.
High quality entertainment is very limited. You can narrow it down to top 50/100 movies/books/anime/games of thousands and never find anything better after. You can binge on hundreds titles a year now without even trying because of how easy and accessibile it is. People run out of things to watch and get burnout, and after that there's nothing left to do but watch low quality shit or drop it all together.

>>289427
I love obscure classical, or even non-mainstream baroque artists or Scarlatti.

It just doesn't work as a cope anymore.

Nothing does after a certain point and age in wizarddom.

>>289417
22 is still very neuroplastic and likely enjoys a wide variety of things life has to offer, since it's only been a couple years since they were just teenagers full of hormones, dopamine and hope.

32 is a much harder age to start getting things done if you start from scratch, because much of your dopamine is already spent.
Activities give dampened emotional responses or no response at all. You feel more tired in general. If you study for a new degree most of your peers are ten years younger than you and wont relate to you.

I turned my life around at 31 and it wasn't satisfying at all. You're supposed to do it in your early 20s when your future is still wide open and your body hasn't started decaying.

Yes, a 32 year olds body is already decaying and experiencing pains you never had at 22. Age is not just a number and the prime of your life is very, very short.

>>289437
>your dopamine is already spent

What is with online advice bros and thinking dopamine is like a mana bar or something.

The reason why I say it's impossible to change at 22 is because the same obstacles that were in your way 10 years ago are still there. It's unlikely that you're going to suddenly figure things out and that your personality and temperament are going to do a 180.

Oh well I could still learn a skill or finish school and have my first love. Yeah, it's not physically impossible, but are you going to do it? Are you the type of person that can just decide to do something out of the blue and just flip 22 years of habits on their head? Unlikely. Like I said, it's a silly power fantasy that keeps you hoping and deluded.

>>289441
>because the same obstacles that were in your way 10 years ago are still there

but you might get motivation as time passes and things change
some people are able to quit addiction for example even though they were addicted for years. something must have changed to motivate them.

>>289441
>I could still learn a skill or finish school and have my first love.
>Are you the type of person that can just decide to do something out of the blue and just flip 22 years of habits on their head?

The people who could do this if they just chose to do so, are like 0,1% of the population. Intelligent, neurotypical, well adjusted good looking high tier normies who simply chose to waste time in their 20s for some reason.

Not a single aspie or neurodivergent in the world can just decide at 32 that they will stop rotting in front of anime and "get" a wife, kids and a career the next year.
What will happen the rotting simply deepens year by year and there is literally no possible escape.

>>289442
Motivation isn't even the biggest problem necessarily. It's sort of just a reflection of what you know is possible or not based on previous experience. That doesn't radically change unless your environment radically changes in some way to make the last few decades of your life seem like an alien planet. The obstacles are still there and that's why you try time and time again and you lose motivation very quickly. The payoffs, the results are just not there.

Like, you could go out tonight to a bar and talk to people, this action is physically possible, but will people suddenly react to you differently, is the interaction suddenly going to be more rewarding than before, will your autism disappear? Nope. Or maybe you want to go to school and finish a degree. You can sign up for a class, buy the books, sit down and study - but are suddenly going to find it easy to learn? Will you suddenly discover that you're really good at it? Your motivations can change, you can hype yourself up for a day or two - but the RESULTS, those rarely change.

I could give you 50 extra years and it's doubtful that you would make any meaningful progress. You'd still be stuck at the same obstacles. Time is not the issue, really. I knew since I was 14 basically where my limits were, what I could do and what I couldn't. You could gaslight yourself that taking a supplement or whatever is going to make a difference, but your mindset is not the problem, reality is.

>>289444
many men are simply atomized, and a change in starting circumstances would have yielded a drastically different outcome. normals don't do anything on their own, they have massive support infrastructure of other people, that is what you need to be able to do a 180 that's being talked about. that doesn't come out of nowhere though, the sad reality is that nobody builds their own wealth, you either start with a nice little bundle and increase it, or you're stuck at the bottom in perpetuity. upwards social mobility is as much as a lie as regan trickle down champagne glass economics, the data is very clear on this. wizardry is a solo endeavor, really.

>>289444
>Like, you could go out tonight to a bar and talk to people, this action is physically possible, but will people suddenly react to you differently, is the interaction suddenly going to be more rewarding than before, will your autism disappear? Nope. Or maybe you want to go to school and finish a degree. You can sign up for a class, buy the books, sit down and study - but are suddenly going to find it easy to learn? Will you suddenly discover that you're really good at it? Your motivations can change, you can hype yourself up for a day or two - but the RESULTS, those rarely change.

Most people with reasonable intelligence understand this and just give up in advance & focus their energy on other pursuits.
The dumb ones keep hitting their head against the wall 3000 times and hope the 3001st yields different results, but it doesn't.

It's those idiots who eventually snap after tens of thousands of rejections and years of ridicule by females and males, and go ER on the public in a school or shopping mall.
They just don't understand it wasn't in their genes as an autist, aspie or whatever to go chat up succubi in a bar or get hobbies with normies or start a family.

I partially blame bad parenting. There are lots of low IQ parents out there who tell their dumb or autistic kid they can be or do whatever they want if they just put their mind into it.
No, you can't. A lot of options were locked to you since birth, by your genetics.

I was never going to be a top level runner who would beat an untrained Usain Bolt even if I had the best coaches, nutrition and motivation in the world. Why? Because he has more fast-twitch muscle fiber than I do, his entire 6'4 jacked body is built for sprinting and he is genetically predestined to become a sprinter.

I on the other hand am genetically a scrawny nerd with no muscle tone who can barely run a straight line without tripping, just as my parents.
No matter how much I put my "mind to it" I wouldn't even become a world top 10000 sprinter let alone the top 1.

>>289451
This site is full of those retarded egoists as well.
Who think everything in life depends on personal effort.

These people have egos the size of an inflated gigantic balloon and think they are omnipotent. Yet they work in a warehouse and post on wizchan due to 'temporary circumstances'.

Testosterone mixed with low IQ and arrogance creates these weird dunning-kruger creatures.

>>289444
>Like, you could go out tonight to a bar and talk to people, this action is physically possible, but will people suddenly react to you differently, is the interaction suddenly going to be more rewarding than before, will your autism disappear? Nope.
Single moments won't make a difference in life and that's why I also think that putting oneself out there doesn't really work. You'd have to fix your problems otherwise its just gonna be the same old pattern of getting into shitty situations which make everything worse. People who are able to socialize do these things organically and its not like an autist who has to plan it like its something special and then fails at it.

>>289443
>The people who could do this if they just chose to do so, are like 0,1% of the population. Intelligent, neurotypical, well adjusted good looking high tier normies who simply chose to waste time in their 20s for some reason.
Exactly. Those people just got off track for some time but they also managed to get back on because they don't struggle socially and they get their motivation like any other normie. This really can't be compared to anyone else because they have a foundation which others don't have.

>>289451
>Most people with reasonable intelligence understand this and just give up in advance & focus their energy on other pursuits. The dumb ones keep hitting their head against the wall 3000 times and hope the 3001st yields different results, but it doesn't.
I used to be the dumb one and it made everything so much worse. Im often haunted by memories of cringe inducing and sometimes messed up situations I got into but at least I learned my lesson eventually.

>>289347
Same age and problem but the misery is coming on less and less. Maybe i'm just growing to accept my life as a ghost? Small goals help i guess.
>>289437
>I turned my life around at 31
I'm curious about what you mean by what turning it around

>>289461
*by turning it around
Pardon my stroke

>>289453
really good post

>>289451
>I was never going to be a top level runner who would beat an untrained Usain Bolt even if I had the best coaches, nutrition and motivation in the world.

Just because you can't become the best at something doesn't mean you should give up trying to do anything. Just because genetics are a factor doesn't mean that effort doesn't matter. With mental things you can't even know your full potential until you try. If you think you have no potential then that just leads to a self-fulfilling prophecy.

>>289481
trying and failing at something would lead to more suffering than simply not trying to stick your hand in a fire
telling people to keep sticking their hand in a fire knowing they'll get burned is even worse as you're just trying to spread suffering on others

>>289482
trying and failing is a learning experience
failing is part of life. no one does everything perfect right away.

>>289483
>no one does everything perfect right away.
That's a normalfag lie. I've seen countless normalfags go through school - college - and become wageslaves months after getting their degrees. No one hired me after college after thousands of applications and I've been unemployed neet for 7 years from 23 to 30. You can't tell me I didn't try.

>>289500
>>289483
confusing the matter because nothing is about hard work or what you know or how good your grades are. everything is about who you know and what your connections are. this is why it costs so much to go to the big schools and why it's so hard to get it. it's a form of gatekeeping to keep out the peasants, because there is a lot of evil and underhanded things taking place at the top level of anything.

all of life exists on this spectrum, at the very bottom are the meek, those unwilling or unable to exert evil influence and do bad things, sacrifice their spirit to gain in fleshly a measure of this world.

at the opposite end of the spectrum the people that will do anything to anyone for more money, more power, more status, even when they have more than they could ever use or need. the people that are truly devoted to evil and are willing to do anything they can get away with, in order to experience more pleasure in their flesh, and aghast the spirit.

>>289639
Lousy Christian communist viewpoint.

uneducated buzzword using tripe

>>289403
Sounds like you're depressed. Stop giving people advice.

>>289443
>not being tied down to a nag machine is "rotting"
wtf are you doing

>>289500
Normalfags, despite what they say about their IQ and hard work, actually do things naturally because they have support networks, friends, nepotism, etc.

>>290105
>i have a dumbest shittiest family i know
>i am the biggest loser i know

>a person who can tell what they want, who has career and gf and shit
>look up their family
>it's a normal good family

I think I just lucked out on spawn, my family gave me bad genes and brain damage when parents divorced.

>>290106
some of my first memorys are of my parents being violent toward eachother

>>290107
me too. i can literally remember by father hitting my mother against the wall, them throwing stuff at each other, i remember when cops were called. i remember that fear of being alone with the father, of being noticed by him. i have some good snippets of memory too, but they are mostly connected to escapism and being by myself, like watching tv or playing vidya or some other shit. simply epic. i think we've genuinely been screwed, friend.

>>289347
Drink your own tears, always.
Also, focus on something that may enrage you, this might compensate such schizoaffectivity.

If none of these thing work, you can always try the shock therapy and go in for all: https://www.holotropic.com/holotropic-breathwork/about-holotropic-breathwork/