No.289778
How do your parents feel about you doing nothing? Does anyone ask you how you're doing? Do they check on you in the mancave? Do they try to get you to do things with them? I've heard a lot of your story through your personal perspective, but what's your environment like?
No.289779
Yeah, that's just standard depression. It's likely that your social isolation is the root cause of it and without changing that, it will not go away.
No.289780
Do you masturbate a lot? This used to be me before doing nofap which is why I ask. Excessive internet usage in general could also cause it, either way you slice it you need to take a break from whatever it is you're doing and let your dopamine receptors restore themselves. That's my 2 cents
No.289786
>>289778We used to have fights every few months but I would just go to my room and go back to my routine. Now they accepted the situation which is honestly more depressing.
>>289779Idk how I can be social with no life experience and nothing to talk about.
>>289780I actually fap only like 1-3 a week and mostly to imagination. I am definetely not a "gooner".
No.289813
>>289777Not enough history to give any meaningful comment.
No.289817
>>289777Also I feel so foolish for letting this go on for so long. Now it just feels so much harder to change with the shame of being like this at 32, when people at that stage have a family they provide for and senior positions at work. I won't be able to talk to anyone my age because they will be disgusted by how much of a manchild I am. I mean I myself can't properly explain it beyond "depression, no friends that I can follow the flow of and lack of persistent outside pressure".
No.289818
>>289817stop brushing your teeth it causes depression
No.289820
>>289818I literally used toothpaste on a processor as a heat distributor under a heatsink.
It worked fine for 2+ years. The temps were much worse than with Arctic Silver or actual thermal pastes, but never went above 94 celsius when gaming (201f) and 41 when idling.
No.289821
>>289818Dear sir,
It has come to my attention that you are a retarded niggerfaggot. Please cease this behavior at once. Sincerely, a white man.
No.289824
>>289821I'm like a 3rd or 4th generation pasty irish. With some random scot thrown in
No.289826
>>289777I think this is a pretty common feel among young men who never really had the opportunity to explore what they want. You get told of the life you are supposed to live while being shamed about your daily whims. So eventually you settle into some limbo where you feel like shit for not being what you've ben told you were supposed to be, but have no motivation to actually do anything because everything you do is supposedly bad. This type of thing is perpetuated even in this community, where you are ostracized for being a normie or a crab if you say you want to have sex or whatever.
I think a good start is to just allow yourself to want to want things. Of course you can't become passionate about anything if you aren't allowed to explore your whims. That is probably one step away from where you are now. At the basic level you have to actually allow your emotions to sit and register fully in your brain, which REALLY sucks at first when all of your emotions are overwhelmingly negative.
No.289829
>>289826The problem is I know what I want that would make me happy and bring me daily happiness, but it costs too much and people despise hiring neurodivergents.
One of the wants is a more beautiful home, that's why rich people also put up elaborate wallpaper, vivie colors, decorative cornices and paneling, paintings with nice frames.
Because they know each time they come home it brings them happiness to be surrounded by such marvel.
Whereas poor people generally live in white outdated ugly boxes with Ikea furniture and looking at the home only brings depression.
No.289831
>>289829Notice how you began your response by mentioning your desires, only to quickly disregard it and shift the focus to the desires of others. I also think you shifted focus to rich and poor people as a way to distance yourself from your own negative reality This behavior is indicative of a brain that has been conditioned to overlook its own needs, and perhaps also adapted to this behavior as a defense mechanism. This is why I said this process sucks because you are going to have to lower that defense mechanism and allow some negative feelings to flood in before it gets better.
It is okay to want better living conditions. It is also okay to think the cards are stacked against you. There are likely some thoughts that can be challenged there, but you can't really challenge anything that you aren't actively aware that you are doing.
No.289834
>>289831The vast majority of humans on Earth can't afford a beautiful home and aesthetic furniture (let alone high class stuff like genuine art and antiques).
It's just how the world is. Some stuff is only a reward for the 1% (or historically, for those on the winning side of conquests and wars who were close friends with the ruler).
Most people have to make do with squalor, mediocrity or downright ugliness.
No.289856
>>289826This might be a good point. I don't think it's because I got shamed for it directly but the idea is that only the super talented, driven or rich get to do the fun jobs and everyone else has to settle for something boring. But that sounds depressing and not very motivating. Without normie obligations like friends that expect me to have money to do stuff with them and leave my room or needing to impress a succubus by having a good job and my own place I floated aimlessly scratching my base desires and dopamine itch with internet. Also I got a defeatist personality and imageboards gave me an outlet for anonymous whining with no shame when in real life people would get tired of that quickly.
No.289872
woke up mindblown by how fucked up my life is
so many years wasted doing nothing because i got no reasonable goals, no drive, no attention span, no willpower and a slow thinking brain
some people are born in fucked up circumstances but i only got myself too blame.
No.289876
>>289872>some people are born in fucked up circumstances but i only got myself too blame."Circumstances" include your brain. It's never your fault about anything.
It's like a neural network (given the recent news I suppose everyone is familiar with what that is) feeling guilty because it fails to recognize a horse in the picture. It's being trained like that, it's not its fault.
No.289884
>>289876The thing about humans is that we're self-aware and so we can organize our environments and behavior and in that way influence our brains and training. After a certain age, it's our responsibility to train our brains the right way and influence them towards virtue. But any significant change always requires a lot of time, effort and patience. It's unfair that some were put on the right path from the start by having smart parents and a good environment, but you only have one life and you owe it to yourself to have the best life you possibly can.
No.289896
>>289884It simply makes no sense for your brain to train your brain. It is just the original outside influences continuing to develop. Don't fall for the completely nonsensical illusion of free will.
No.289897
>>289896Well I have no choice but to believe in it. Just my original influences :)
No.289898
>>289896free will exists. you can prove this to yourself by turning off your pc
No.289899
>>289898i can't free will myself one million dollars to be happy
No.289900
>>289898turning it off would be a result of *your* message
No.289901
>>289834A lot of people wouldn't frame it as squalor. Satisfaction of your belongings depends on what you chose to value, really.
No.291454
>>289777I live this way and I like it.
>>289779Piss off.
>>289780this!!!
>>289872Oh no, why? It is the world which doesn't offer worthy things.
REJECT WHAT YOU CANNOT HAVE. THAT IS THE BEST REVENGE