/dep/ - Depression

Are you searching for it? You gotta be trying new things and exploring. A hobby or interest makes a ton of difference. Progressing in something meaningful that you care about is the only way to beat depression. Even if your life is falling apart, having a small domain where you're actually competent and have knowledge really helps.

For me it was language learning. Gives me an excuse to read and consume media all day and discuss it with other people in different communities.

>>295002
A homemade dynamo, to get your own energy. Maybe you should stop and accept your emptiness, if anxiety is the problem.

Most of us have nothing to look forward to, but as >>295003 said, you need to search for a hobby or project that interests you. I currently spend some of my free time either drawing or writing, both are inexpensive and can be done nearly anywhere.

>>295003
>>295042
Of course I tried new things, but no hobby holds my interest for long, besides consuming media (games, movies, shows, books) I tried some productibe hobbies such as to learn some coding, making games, drawing, writing, making memes, physical exercises, learning new languages.

Everything just starts to feel pointless very quickly.

>>295044
I feel you, I technically have tons of things to do, I have little projects, I have a field of work I could improve within, I have hobbies, but after a certain point of fairly dedicated whatever, I just get bored, even if the thing *does* interest me - I wouldn't even say I get "burnout" because I don't work that hard, I just wake up one day and everything in my body and mind is saying "No, you don't want to do that anymore." and I'll just stop indefinitely. It could be weeks or months before I return to whatever I was doing.

The funny part is I know doing these things is unanimously good but the more I do said thing the less good it feels, so overtime the novelty of doing something is beaten out by the drudgery of the actual activity, or at least that's what I think. Or it's that I'm a social outcast with little to no ambition or desire to status chase and my monkey lizard brain can't contextualize these frivolous attempts at action in any real meaningful sense. In either case, what else is there to do with my life? Nothing, so I should just get over it and get on with it.

The only think I look forward to is my own death

>>295042
I've tried to understand how to draw and make music, but my brain just doesn't understand how to improve at them and I stay horrible at them no matter how much I try.

>>295002
There's nothing to look forward to. Only things to occupy yourself with until that termination, that cessation and extinction of all this vain bullshit finally arrives.
My solace is loud music and shitty comedy. Once that well runs dry, if life hasn't ended on it's own accord I'll do the job for it.

>>295193
Respectable role. Better than most.

>>295148
I have found that pure self-study is really difficult. You need that outside perspective of someone on your work that interacts with it and shows you exactly where you can change. It took me about 2 years of doing music to reach something resembling a personal satisfaction in creating, with the first 6 months containing occasional third person feedback from people online. Educative resources are also important to train your "eye", but simply reading over the basics on wikipedia or with an introductory youtube video is frankly all you need. The last great tool to leverage is the work of others. Steal it, deconstruct it, transcribe it by ear, copy sheet music, whatever it takes; as long as you try and look at what they did so you can start doing it too. All art is muscle memory/technical ability combined with the ability to "see". When you hit a wall, it's always one or the other that's holding you back.

I still feel this thread however. I'm very ambition-averse. Entertainment and creating is no different from the meal you eat to keep your body from aching. This is the most natural motivation, the one with limitless supply. All it does is maintain a status-quo, without regard for past or future. People need goals in order to fixate outside of the present moment, I'm lucky enough that my present moment is an easily tolerated monotony. There's not as much stress in the same pain every day if you know you can handle it.

>>295002
Are you another projector of those? Last time I asked here about it, someone told me they were a generator but the entire place looks like a bunch of failed projectors living by outer expectations. It feels dangerous at start and it's said you need seven years to really awaken to what you are, but may God be soft towards me everything Human Design told me to (not) do is pretty much nailing it. It even has rules about how to eat your meals in order to have your brain synchronized with your type and polarity.

>>295148
Because you wanted to be something, since what you are does not fulfill you, right? Yeah, they call this "the Not-Self". Quite a thing.

>pay attention, losers
>you cannot know where the gold lies when no one tells you that it lies beyond places you wouldn't ever believe it to be