/dep/ - Depression

that's what happens when you don't fully give up, you're always harboring a small amount of hope that you could somehow discover a magic pill that helps you turn your life around entirely and not only that, but help you catch up to all your peers. wouldn't that be something?

yeah, it's not happening. just accept it and feel it down in your bones, at your very core - this is your life. once you give up completely, new doors will start to open. not the ones you wanted, but real doors, not fantasy ones. then you can start taking each day as it comes and live what's left of your life. and in 30-40 years you will die and the world will keep on turning. it didn't matter, even if you impressed everyone and did all the right things. the best you can hope for is to not suffer too much and what is your hope doing for you exactly? nothing, it's just meaningless torture that you're holding unto. giving up sounds bad, but it's the most rational thing you can do and it will feel like relief. and ironically, it doesn't mean your life is over, on the contrary, it's finally the start of it. it's just not the amazing late bloomer redemption story you imagined.

Try or don't try to change, it doesn't matter. Just don't go chasing what 'society' or some other vague group wants you to chase. Maybe the reason you spent all your time online and playing games is because whatever alternative tasks you had waiting for you didn't lead anywhere that intrinsically motivated you. Think about what YOU want from the rest of your life and start taking small steps towards reaching it. It probably won't be following the normalfaggot script, it's likely too late for that now anyways, but it will be a life created intentionally by you.

>>295386
>if you don't work towards anything nothing happens
Maybe that's exactly the most convenient thing.

We're all NPCs in this world, don't think too much about it.

>>295400
you're right

>>295392
Following the normalfaggot script seems to be the lesser evil compared to giving up and becoming a lesser version of urself. Its called thinking ahead instead of being reactive so you should definetily think ahead…

>>295427
it's the bigger evil, since you sell of your own preferences and sanity for the approval of everyone around you (or lack of disapproval), and even then there's no guarantee that hustling and bustling gets you anything. if you have one shot at life and there's already such a giant gap, you might as well say fuck it and live on your own terms.

>>295427
>>295428
>following
>choosing
lol nobody on this board has a choice and if you did you will be crazy to choose to be depressed

>>295434
So how ur depressed because you think you have no choice whereas Im depressed because I think Ive taken the wrong choice due to my reactiveness and apathy.
>>295428
I want for things to stay as A-OK as they are :(
thats enough reason to put myself through the university grinder even though I dont really have any friends and everytime I try to talk to someone in my university (happened 2 times in 2 years) I weird them out.
As a person who has had no plans for the future and just did things because I was forced to I made it pretty far but I believe Ive comen to a crossroad whre that wont work anymore.
>it's the bigger evil, since you sell of your own preferences and sanity for the approval of everyone around you (or lack of disapproval)
I believe becoming a hikki will be the greater evil since the approval is indeed worth it for me. But its not just that, its also to keep my potential for things to happen should I want to go further into higher education and to have the monetary means and disposition to fuel any future goals I might attain through wakeupcalls or whatever. And I also feel like feeling pain and suffering is a mayor part of human existance and is important to keep your sanity and sharp mind.

>if you have one shot at life and there's already such a giant gap, you might as well say fuck it and live on your own terms.
Im glad I have left myself the paths open.