No.299518
I can't move on. Everyone already did but I can't. Nobody remembers me. Trying to reach them is pointless, they avoid me like the plague. My parents told me lots of anecdotes from when they were young. They had friends and an extended family, they went on adventures, they cried and laughted, they grew up with lots of friends. They don't see them much nowdays but if they see each other on the street they cheerfully greet them. Their friends are happy to see them. Mines aren't. I dream about them everyday. Some of them, the original duo from my late childhood, I haven't talked to them in almost 15 years. The others, more "recent", haven't seen them in 10. Time keeps marching on. I stay the same.
I wonder, if I kill myself, will they attend my funeral?
No.299519
When I was a kid I lived with my mother and grandparents. One day one of the soldiers my grandfather served with in WWII came to visit him after tracking him down somehow after not seeing him for 50 years. Your post reminded me of that.
No.299520
>>299518I'm not sure if we're on the same page OP, but maybe I know what you mean.
I feel like I'm stuck in 2015 (or even 2013 or something) and still try to hide there like a scared child, while literally everyone else evolved and moved on. I'm so scared to make a move because I cling on to the "safe" position, I'm so afraid of living.
No.299522
>Nobody remembers me.
Other than a handful of classmates in HS (cuz I quickly dropped out from college) that I can't really call friends, I have virtually no record of existing in other peoples memory. Is anyone as fucking screwed like me? That was about 15 years ago. There is 15 year people-interaction-gap in my life. Man I'm so fucked also thanks for posting that picture OP first time I saw it I had an horrible nightmare living in a ghost town, I wasn't just alone there was nobody left anymore to walk together with towards a future. Pretty bleak…
No.299523
>>299518>Nobody remembers me.how is that a bad thing?
No.299530
We’re all alone on this earth anon. And while no one truly remembers you, you are here and you do exist. People may not remember you, but the world will. Even just as a number. You have a birth certificate. You are a citizen of somewhere. Even if people don’t, the plants and animals do. When you’re walking in the street and pass an ant, you are likely the single most important thing in that ant’s entire life. You are a human like all the others. You are no less significant than the greatest king and the lowest drifter. Take solace in that.
No.299538
>>299522I dropped out of society in 2012. There is no guide online or advice for people like us and it's extremely difficult to find anecdotes. There is no school of therapy designed to help us. We may as well not exist.
No.299579
Assuming you are a shut in. You really really need to let it go.
cause i ll tell ya how normies think and work:
they dont remember you? thank god for it.
cause here s way it would work if they found out your status:
You remember ___________ from way back? Yea? so they live a super sad life, examples x y and z, and they re tryin to contact us? ummmm sad and weird? what do want? to talk about sui and sad stuff. Wow, fuckin weird, creep, etc….
you need to let it go.
No.299580
>>299538>There is no school of therapy designed to help us.70 years back, we d be the guys permanently committed to some mental hospital you see in a movie like one flew over coo coo nest. And they d try to cure, or committed for life. not release us til 1986 when all we d be able to do is be homeless,
No.299584
I feel like I don't exist, even on the internet. I can hardly even bring myself to actually reply to a thread even if it's one I relate to such as this one. Most of the people I talked to when I was younger I now realize didn't really care about me, and my extended family doesn't try to reach out either. Most of the time I don't mind it and wish I could disappear even further and I have an obsession with scrubbing my presence from anywhere, but at times I wish someone would see me.
No.299586
>>299584very relatable
I'm in the process of removing traces of my existence, as preparation for suicide. I'm a piece of shit and a shame to humanity. Removing myself is the greatest deed I can do, because my contribution to the world can only be negative.
No.299859
>>299586Don't know if you're still there wiz but I want you to know I saw your post when you replied and I thought about it for a while and didn't know how to say anything since I'm a retard. I hope you're doing alright.
No.301911
>>299580except, back in the day, super-depressed ppl like /wizards were rare enough, alright?
No.301997
Graduated high school in 2012.
Every now and then I wonder about the school's population. I remember in 2013, I'd think, "I wonder who took my spot in the school band? Probably one of the other french horn players that I interacted with every single morning for rehearsal." After a few more years, I realized something:
Even students who were 9th graders during my senior year have now graduated high school, themselves. I realized that not a single band member will even know that I existed.
Well, that might not be the case. It's possible that, during my senior year, I may have briefly interacted with 8th graders who were planning to join the band. These "band aids" would volunteer to help out with the high school band. It is perfectly possible that some 8th grade band geek gave me a soda while in the pep stands at football games. I guess it's possible one of these middle school kids remembered me, but I doubt it.
This feeling is not exclusive to the school band, though. After a certain point, there are no more student who were in the 9th grade during my senior year. While I MIGHT have interacted with some 8th grade band members, there is 0% chance that any of the 8th graders who became freshmen AFTER my graduation had ever even knew I existed.
Now, in 2025, I have randomly realized that there is not a single student who could possibly know about me. Even kids who were 1st graders during my senior year have graduated from high school themselves. Such 1st graders wouldn't have known me, anyway, but there WAS a chance, however small it might be, that somebody had at least had a passing glance and briefly saw me at some point during school.
This shouldn't feel so… strange. It's an obvious realization that shouldn't affect anything about my life at all. But it feels so daunting. After I graduated I basically just became a hermit in my room. High school 13 years ago was the last time I really interacted with humans beyond my mom and grocery store cashiers. It feels like I don't really exist.
I guess I can easily "return to the past", I mean, my old high school is just a few miles away from me. But there really, truly is nobody there, anymore.
(I hope this post is coherent, I'm currently on around 500mg of DPH and I can't concentrate or even really see the text that I'm typing.)
No.301999
>>301997repeat after me:
Let It go.
If you tell ppl you are obsessing on what your are obsessing on, you ll be tossed in a psyc ward, At Best.
Forget about past, no you cant go back there, and if you want to think about a school college is what you re lookin for.
some people will say hermit s need to be coddled. my hermit dad taught me otherwise.
you have two actual roads in front of you.
1. you accept you went down a dark path, seek treatment, and make an effort to pull out of it.
2. you wake up one day. age 50. and you are sayin same stuff as now. and its all bleak
No.302001
>>301997I know the feeling, I don't talk to anyone besides discord/image boards. It's surreal knowing I'm a ghost that will be forgotten within months of my death; I suppose it's freeing but I'm too numb either way to give a shit.