No.299779
>Is it even possible to break this cycle?
Yes. At the top, instead of "do nothing", decide to "do literally anything". And if you "feel powerless", remember that you are "not powerless" because how you feel can't possible reflect reality when you're already deep in the depressive spiral.
No.299781
>>299778>now I am pushing 40 and it's over for realI bet you thought it was over for real in your twenties too.
It's not over.
No.299782
>feel powerless
>do nothing
well, the trick is to find an area in life where you don't feel powerless and do something there, and forget about the rest. you feel powerless because you probably are. if there was something obvious you could do, you wouldn't be hesitating, but the "solutions" offered to you by other people simply do not work and your instincts are accurately assessing the situation. the real solution is to "give up" on what you have no control over and find what you can control. maybe that means accepting you will never be a happy-go-lucky normalfag with a wife and kids, or whatever stupid milestone you think you needed to reach to be a valid person. maybe that means just burying your head in that one niche, obscure hobby that makes you look forward to waking up in the morning, even if no one else thinks much of it, even if society doesn't want to make you rich or famous for doing it and thinks you're a "manchild" for caring about it.
the point is, you feel powerless because you have been hitting your head against the wall for the last 20 years and you refuse to accept that you cannot change your situation and certain things are out of reach. to escape the cycle, you simply have to give up and stop striving for something that's just never going to happen. and then you're free to finally do things for yourself again.
No.299784
>>299778Contrary to the two posters above, there's probably no way to do so, not permanently anyway, and it's this impermanence that's a greater malady, for it implies you're forever locked to moving one step forward, and fifty steps back: put bluntly, your efforts are useless.
I've given up myself. You, too, are free to try it. In this hyper competitive world, if you can't cut it, you're wiser raising the white flag, and shattering needless pride, accepting your status as refuse and garbage.
Of course, the resulting apathy… will be somewhat relieving, somewhat overwhelming.
That's all I can say as someone in my 40s who bought into the sabotaging optimism so characteristic of 'normal' minds.
I tried, failed, tried, failed, failed, and it kept on getting worse, the successes emerging fewer and fewer still.
I don't want to do anything anymore. I'm tired. I can't sustain a body that nature determined was a failure indefinitely. I can't keep on 'patching' myself if the anchors keep shaking and collapsing no matter what I do. I'm tired.
No.299785
>>299784This user is a troll who lurks /dep/ for threads about guys trying to find happiness, just se he can tell them that it's impossible to achieve. That all efforts towards not being in despair are futile. That anyone who suggest that depression isn't permanent are liars. This poster should be tarred and feathered and have his computer license revoked.
No.299786
>>299785nothing wrong with giving up. if some 5'6 dude was telling you how he has been trying for 20 years to get into the NBA, you'd tell him that it would be better to just focus on something else. you wouldn't be gaslighting him into believing that he just has depression and he can still make it if he tries hard enough and changes his beliefs lol
No.299787
>>299785Galatians 4:16
Am I now your enemy because I tell you the truth?
All I want is repose for everyone, for a smile, for a brighter world.
By recommending failures to exert worthless efforts, you, my friend, are the more twisted and sinister, the type who'd take the first seat to laugh at tormented wizards.
I'm suggesting they give up and coax themselves in whatever luxuries they're afforded, if even they be any, for that is all they're anyway afforded, and that is all they're anyway privy to. To step beyond is to invite disaster and failure. I know. I've tried. I've paid the price for trying.
I listened to manipulators and schemers like yourself, and was made a laughing stock, a miserable loser.
Don't listen to these 'hope' posters, wizards. They're full of hot air and empty words. Venomous merchants and charlatans. Disgusting.
No.299789
>>299784>>299787you have yet to face a situation that is truly helpless, without backing out.
only then will you learn an elating form of "not caring", one that does not rely on calling yourself "garbage", and giving up, and comparing yourself.
you have not reached the end of the road yet. you will know that you have gotten there when suffering ceases.
No.299790
>>299785you can be happy despite this person posting here.
No.299791
>>299787It sound like you're admitting to the accusation that you're on a mission to bring others down, and you've added that you do so because you yourself were brought down before. That's pathetic.
>Am I now your enemy because I tell you the truth?>"Being depressed for ever is THE TRUTH. Therefore any suggestions otherwise is a LIECalled it. You've been at it for years now. You're a troll.
>>299786>you wouldn't be gaslighting him into believing that he just has depression and he can still make it if he tries hard enough and changes his beliefs lolWhere did this strawman come from? How is this relevant? Read the OP before replying. A short guy not being able to compete in a jumping contest with a tall guy is a physical limit, and if the short guy gets upset about that then there's nothing that can be done besides a change of outlook. But OP's plight isn't fueled by any physical limits. He's upset due to choices he made and emotions he let take over. He can start making right choices now and begin to become the man he wants to be.
No.299792
>>299789No, you're lying, deceptive slimy snake. Go back to seducing Eve, filth.
I've lost my ring finger on my left hand working in a factory. I've lived a homeless life before. You don't understand anything, you haven't experienced anything, all you are is a spectator observing from the comfort of your house, typing away without a care for the world, a veritable 'overseer'.
Your type fills me with intense loathe and revulsion.
I'll tell you plainly what you feel at the end and what you see: respectively - resignation, and eventually a gun to your mouth.
Sometimes they come together, sometimes they don't.
No.299793
>>299791I'm elevating my friends here by preventing them from taking action that'll lead to essentially suicidal despair. Is that wrong? Or should I be like you, sell them the noose, and give them instructions on how to tie it across their dainty necks.
No.299794
>>299792>YOU'RE LYING. OP CAN NEVER BE HAPPY. I DON'T THINK I'LL EVER BE HAPPY BECAUSE OF [reason] SO NOBODY WHO CLAIMS TO BE SAD CAN EVER BE HAPPY YOU LIARFaggot.
No.299795
>>299793I think you should use the noose on yourself.
No.299796
>>299794>>299795Sad. Well, as trolls normally do, you'll go away in time, and so too shall you accept.
No.299797
>>299796i too hope that, if he has not already, he resign toward fate and the world, truly and utterly, in a way where he does not compare himself, nor carry identities like "garbage".
i wish the same for you.
No.299798
>>299796I'll never give up on trying to save guys from weirdos like you who would have them abandon hope towards being happy.
No.299799
>>299791>He can start making right choices now and begin to become the man he wants to be.depends on what kind of man he wants to be. maybe "the kind of man he wants to be" is the whole problem? the point of the NBA example is to show that giving up is an option, and sometimes the most rational choice. maybe life isn't a jumping contest, but it is a contest still, and sometimes you're outmatched in most of the disciplines, even the ones considered basic and trivial. after 20 years of feeling powerless and nothing changing, surely you wouldn't recommend the dude just continue doing the same thing and hope something changes cuz you never know? no! obviously telling him to give up would be a positive in his life, as it probably frees up time and energy for other things that are still possible and worthwhile.
No.299800
>>299798And I'll never relent from assailing against your hopeless hope and poisonous 'optimism'
For every man you lead to hell, I'll try, try and try, steering them toward heaven.
No.299801
>>299799>surely you wouldn't recommend the dude just continue doing the same thing not who you replied to, but he has to be in a situation where he tries, and doesn't back out.
he's in a limbo, he dropped out of hardships too early. if he stayed for longer, the ego would have been tortured out of his body.
he has an intact ego - this is indicative that his idea of giving up is malformed.
No.299802
>>299792it sounds to me like you're protective of this "giving up" that you have.
like it could slip away from your grasp at any moment - leaving you vulnerable.
this is another thing you do not have to worry about anymore, once you find the peace of letting go.
No.299803
>>299801i guess that's true. when you try and really give your best shot, you at least fall flat on your face and it's harder to gaslight yourself into believing that things could still pan out - so you naturally move on. maybe you need to feel the pain of real failure before it snaps you out of delusion and you can free yourself from obsessing over what could've been.
idk, i gave up on a lot of things without needing direct evidence of my imminent failure. i don't need yet another regretful cringe memory in my head just to have a chance of shit testing reality.
No.299804
>>299803>free yourself from obsessing over what could've beenyes, and also, free yourself from the fear of trying.
why do you have to escape opportunities? why would you have to carry the delusion that everything you touch will fail?
in other words, what do you fear?
if you truly let go, there would be no fear of failure.
No.299805
>>299804now you're just talking in boring motivational platitudes… lol
there are real consequences to failure, especially once you're older and outside of a safe environment with a safety net. at the very least, cringe memories that will be permanently recorded as trauma so you don't try to do whatever you did again. humiliation leaves a trace in your soul, you think less and less of yourself with each failure because you just add more evidence of your own worthlessness. contrary to popular belief and internet therapists, you can't just decide to think or feel differently, because it ultimately trickles down from real perceptions, real observations, real memories… over the years, i've learnt to trust my instincts more and more, because they are ultimately protective and they're based on real experiential data, vs some online self-help gurus idea of how life is supposed to work if it was fair and just (spoiler: it isn't)
No.299808
>>299805boring, but pointing toward the true end goal.
>you can't just decide to think or feel differentlymaybe not (?), but you sure can transcend thought and emotion.
trauma makes you identify with emotion and thought. so yes, it will take some work to distance yourself from them again.
and that is what everyone can strive toward - forego thoughts and emotions, let them be, and remain in the situation you are in, or interact with the world.
yes, it's unlikely that you will suddenly do things you have never done before, or do things you have previously burnt yourself at.
but you wont fear the idea of doing it anymore. it will actually be exciting to try new things, if someone pushed you toward it.
No.299811
It takes about five years of consistent effort to reach middle class stability. One year in the worst wagecuck job, one year in a better job and 2-3 years getting a middle class qualification and position.
I'd say 55 is when it's really too late because you're simply running out of time. It's certainly a lot harder after 45 but not impossible.
No.299818
>>299797I think all this blind optimism is coming from the younger posters. When you are in your 20s you feel invincible and unstoppable. They haven't experienced "The Fall" yet where reality strips away all your morals and ideals and leaves you nothing but an empty shell. They have no idea what's coming to them.
No.299830
At this point it really became just predictable and boring and sad that each of these kind of threads ends up in a futile controversy between the free will defenders/ improvebra/ hopefags/ optimists on the one hand and the determinists/ give up proclaimers/ hopeless despair fags/ pessimists on the other hand. This discussion won't lead to anything not only because epistemologically there's no evident truth deductible for either side but also because apparently both sides in their respective way of dealing with things proclaim to offer perspectives on how to live a good life that would help the OP who is asking. Maybe the truth is far more a combination of both, acceptance and generally giving up about life in all its facets and 'how it should be' but also relearning a new life in respect to your current life conditions with a personal setting and goals apart from anything which you have learned about 'how life should be' in the past from childhood on.
No.299831
>>299818>The FallReminds me of the novel by the same name.
Can you explain more clearly what you mean by "the fall"?
No.299832
>>299808You are taking to people here that haven't felt excitement for decades. Kind of rude of you to say such things. I can sense you don't have any experience in this. Are you 21 and in university still?
No.299835
I am vastly younger than you, but I am as hopeless as you, at best i will be selling veggies at the streets, simply i do not have the cash for college/trade school, my parents don't want to help me despite the fact cash is not a problem, nor do i have the connections and social skills to get some meme job that pays relatively well that does not require a certificate, i would unironically be lucky if i get a dishwasher's job, my only hope is my parents finding for me some "shitty" job, i gave up on the middle class income dream, i will die poor and moneyless, i hope you can find some way out of this cycle.
No.299837
>>299836are you a tragic figure, or are you a guy sitting in front of a screen
No.299838
>>299836It's mostly passive media addiction, which includes games that you play repetitively without thinking. It's a common phenomenon these days. You trick your mind into a state where you think everything else is either meaningless or you are not good enough or you wasted too much time or find any other excuses to go back to passive media consumption. I mean it's not the worst but it certainly takes a toll on your brain and ability to experience ease and relaxation apart from looking at a screen.
No.299840
>>299836still stuck huh? i tried to give you some advice over the years, but you're in complete gridlock mentally. i've experienced similar internal resistance before and i've never really found a solution. at some point it either starts flowing or it doesn't and you have to move on. but you have to push yourself for some period of time and it feels like shit until at some point it doesn't and it becomes sustainable. you could try drawing for 15-30 minutes a day for 30 days straight and see if your feelings change. because at the end of the day, it really is all about how you FEEL. you don't FEEL like it's possible or worthwhile, so you will rationalize those feelings. but imagine if you could just flip a switch and feel different, the reasons would become completely irrelevant. the problem is, i've no idea how to achieve something like that consistently, whenever it happens to me, it just seems like pure luck, the right factors being aligned and allowing my psychic energy to pass.
No.299842
>>299830I see this happen in basically every corner of the internet or life in general. Sadly, this sort of behavior seems to be part and parcel with human nature as a whole. Every topic is boiled down to a binary choice, everyone picks one side or the other, and then they proceed to argue back and forth in a verbal pissing match that may or may not sway the occasional onlooker to their side, but usually accomplishes nothing of value. Repeat ad infinitum.
>>299778Personally, I believe there are a few major factors into whether or not this cycle can be effectively and permanently broken. Optimists generally hold to the belief that everything begins and ends with one's own self, that by changing one's own mindset and rejecting any perception of failure is a guaranteed path to success. Pessimists on the other hand will often observe the environment around them as the primary factor in life's struggle, concluding that too harsh an environment with too many hostile people can make success impossible. While I feel that both sides have a ring of truth to them, I think ultimately the question of breaking this cycle of inaction is very much up to the individual asking. You'll have to observe your life and ask yourself "Where am I now? How did I get here? What are my options currently?" Then when you have the answers to those questions, ask yourself "Are my current options acceptable? Is it worth it to change and why? What can I hope to achieve by changing and is that really what I want for myself?" By going through these questions, you can get a decent idea of what obstacles in life are working against you, as well as what tools you still have within you to change, and finally if that change is worth all the effort when considering the possible rewards.
I hope this doesn't come across as a long-winded non-answer to your dilemma, simply telling you 'figure it out yourself,' but that is kind of my main point. No one on this board truly knows the details of your life or current circumstances, nor can (or should) they tell you how to live your life. Can you actually change your life at any age? Realistically yes, even an old man in his seventies can make a different life for himself, but not all change guarantees success or happiness nor is the reward always worth the sacrifices needed to achieve it. That's the point I've come to in my life. I'm in my thirties, I'm in my own cycle of stagnation, and although I can still dig myself out of this hole and do something, I continually question whether or not it's truly worth the effort to persist in a world that I have never enjoyed living in. I do have an answer to that question now, but my answer may not be the same as yours. So the only advice I can give is to urge you to examine your life and options, and decide if any of it truly seems worthwhile to you, then proceed from there.
No.299845
>>299836You and I are much the same, separated only in the circumstances which brought forth this so called 'wasted life' and numbing repetition.
Mine would be constant turmoil, repeated failure, shame and ineptitude, all so palpable until at last I locked myself in my room, closed the binds, cried and cried, and thus was a shut-in beget. 8 years later, the situation remains unchanged. 8 more to come, and perhaps it'll be the same. No - it most definitely will. It's unalterable.
I don't want to change anymore. I don't want there to be noise. I don't want to fail. I don't want to hear the fighting and screaming. I don't want tears to shed. I couldn't it.
So-
I'll continue to remain as-is, concealed from outside, that I may at least not poison the hard working, striving, honest people, with the pile of faeces shit called me. Whats a bastard to do, after all?
Legal euthanasia -assisted death- is only legal in Canada last I read.
Inaction, after so long anyway, has claimed my soul, and no matter what I do, I can't fend away, shake it off, 'try', yet ironically I'm afforded only despair, and only more room to cry.
>>299837I've squandered all the blessings given to me. Some kid somewhere someplace else could've used it better.
Knowing this, I'm left feeling even more empty, only more disgusted with myself. I'm a parasite.
I've failed my parents, I've failed everyone.
I don't know why I was born
No.299846
>>299840How many more years, how many more rounds of advise, how greater a passage of time is needed… just how many will it take for me to move?
I'm sorry.
I might die before anything begins.
I failed.
No.299848
>>299845you've adjusted your sitting position on your chair.
you've pressed the space bar key with the side of your right thumb.
you've scanned this text with your eyes left to right and then next row.
No.299850
>>299778Bro you have depression, the only thing to help me was philosophy.
Now I'm a christian, and at less depression isn't a problem.
I learned to deny to myself.
Is really sad, but modern psychology sucks, please give a change to Christianity.
You don't need to be a perfect christian, I just want you have faith, yes an irrational faith.
Humanity in all history have a lot of problems, war, poverty, sickness, etc.
But they learn to practice hope.
I show you an humiliated God.
A good who like you was insulted and marginalized. But I know he never going to let you down.
Please, I know is hard have faith, but pray helps a lot(it change your mind).
Try to read the psalm 23(a lot), please. Jesus truly love you.
No.299852
>>299850Matthew 25:29
For whoever has will be given more, and they will have an abundance. Whoever does not have, even what they have will be taken from them.
There exists no hope for failures. OP and others here too, myself no exception, lurker or otherwise, are consigned, are sentenced, to repeating their failure indefinitely in their own penal hell.
Hey, tell me, why did I do wrong, huh? why am I always lagging behind, why did all of my peers succeed where I did not? why was I bullied? why was I beaten? why was I the laughing stock all the way even into college? what did I do wrong?
Leave us alone.
No.299853
>>299852We live in a fallen world, we the human race have an evil nature,but exist hope.
I show you an humiliated God, like you and me, who give his life for us.
He was insulted, bullied and the laughing stock alone in the cross.
I know if hard have hope or faith in this world, but we must…
No.299863
I reflect to my past wondering if there is something I could have done better. But all I can think about is how possibly better my life would be if I didn't think I was as smart as I actually am. However I feel low expectations can end up being a self fulfilling prophecy. Like you aim for a minimum wage job you are financially stuck their for life, but if you are ambitious there is a slight chance you can get a decent salary at least. Instead I just resign myself to my fate and consider I did my best with the knowledge I had available at the time.
No.299928
>>299875
Considering that he allows demons to fuck around, god either impotent or uncaring.
And suffering builds very awful character and there absolutely nothing positive about suffering regardless how much and how hard people cope about it.
No.299930
>>299853>but exist hope.For few lucky and thats at best.
No.299933
>>299929
>Suffering is necessary for Growth.
Devil's lies.
Curiosity and potential are nessesary for growth.
And suffering simply leads to escapism and growth can be it if there is potential for it.
No.302427
>>299778I know that feel, brother. That cycle has been the story of my life since I was a teen. I turned 30 a few months ago. My parents are getting old. I have to do something about my shitty life or suffer with terrible guilt until I die.
And it is still not too late for you, buddy. If we actually do something and try or best etc. and life doesn't fuck us in the ass we can do A LOT in just 2 years. Godspeed
No.302429
>>299778>now I am pushing 40and you still feel guilty?
That's quite retarded. Your neurodiversity should be quite clear by this point, why are you still trying to be a normie, that's stupid.
It's not your fault, it's your brain.
Going against it will only make you suffer more.
No.302502
>>302501Is that from Obama's autobiography?
No.302504
>>299793oh look
an asexual who isnt aware of the difference between asexuality and celibate
No.302518
>>302503>OH NOOOOOOOOOOO EVERYONE NEEDS TO BE DEFATİST WEAK PUSSY IN THIS SHITHOLE HOW CAN YOU DARE TO POST GOGGINS IN HERE NOOOOOOOthese crabs in here is no different than woke succubus that trigger to literally everything like a fucking child.
i think these defeatist crabs living in a first world country, so they can keep whining on every little thing like a baby.
first world (pussy) problems…
No.302519
>>299792>>299852"gogginsposter" here.
not the one you replied to, but he is right.
>You don't understand anything, you haven't experienced anythingfrom the age of 11 to 14, I worked in a marble factory earning less than $300 a month, doing hard labor lifting 10–20 kilo stones ten times a minute, placing them on machines, and cutting them with cold fucking water. my entire youth went by worrying about what i was going to eat each day. there were even times when we couldn’t pay the electricity bill and had to sit in the dark. i was bullied my whole life, and by the time i was 19 or 20, i found myself wondering whether i should kill my stepfather or if just crippling him would be enough. but eventually, i pulled myself together, turned my life around in three years, and stopped being a crab like you.
i've experienced "anything" but im not a defeatist succubus like you. so, you need to understand life is not black or white.
No.302522
>>302518That may be so but I personally just find those motivational speakers tiring. The world is not your oyster. Where you were born, what family you were born into, your genetics all matter and you can't outwork any and all obstacles in your life by sheer force of will. Granted, most people here could probably make small changes in their lives to improve their well being and many probably live lives that in general aren't really all that bad to begin with. Having a sense of agency is all well and good but if you are a 12 yo in a marble factory like
>>302519 what the fuck are you gonna do?
No.302523
>>302519It's not necessarily a crab thing wizbro…
As the guy who replied to said a lot of things in life are very much deterministic:
>>302522Had you not been in such a shitty situation, physical labor and all that hardening you to be who you are or were at the time, would you have been able to "pull yourself together"?
A lot of wizards didn't have absolutely horrible lives, but what they had formed them into what they are.
Everyone has their own personal hell here and the random motivational black guy isn't applicable to most of us.
>>302518I'll even agree with you that a lot of us, while having many horrid experiences of abuse, might not have had it to the extent that you did.
So we are "softer".
Again, so? I'm really not sure why you are here if this is how you view your fellows.
I personally was pretty passive in my torment. While abused as a child and tormented outside of my home as well, never fitting in, abandoned etc.
I didn't have material issues aside from being malnourished and generally neglected at least not to the degree where I would have to work at that age.
This passivity carried on, action became foreign and I closed myself off to the idea as most of my actions were met with violence and hostility.
Now I'm like the OP, not having the tools to utilize such "motivations" that you share.
This causes a negative reaction in me as well, because if I was truly able to, I would have done something about it.
If I had it in me, I wouldn't need you to share the motivational speech of a rich black guy with a made up tough guy persona.
Sharing these here is just some weird perverted knife twisting for no real benefit.
You had it bad so we shouldn't bitch. We have seen this a billion times and it feels hostile even if well intentioned, that is why you get such reactions.
Again, had you been in our situation you would likely fare no better. Had we been in yours we might be on here crying about the "losers" not being "men enough" and "acting like succubi".
No need to get this worked up about it.
You too need to understand that life is not black or white and you aren't going to be interacting with people of the same exact perspective here.
Lashing out is just about as pointless as me typing all this out.
No.302524
>>302522>Having a sense of agency is all well and good but if you are a 12 yo in a marble factory like >>302519 what the fuck are you gonna do?bro
>"gogginsposter" here.>>302518>>302519it's same person and it's me. im trying to say that i lived literally deep bottom for ages and still can get my shit together. so MOST OF THE TIME people fuck themselves up, not circumstances.
No.302525
>>302519Turned your life around? What job do you now and how much do you earn?
No.302527
>>302526>If you're "goggins" posting then you're not really a wizA wizard is a male virgin above the age of 30. It doesn't matter what a bunch of crab cultists consider that guy to be based on the other aspects of his personality; a 30 year old male virgin is a wizard no matter what.
No.302529
>>302527>A wizard is a male virgin above the age of 30.I didn't disagree with that.
>It doesn't matter what a bunch of crab cultists consider that guy to be based on the other aspects of his personalityWe both agree on this.
And yes, crabs are a cult.
No.302530
>>302527He just said he is a wizkid, so not a real wizard by the most narrow definition.
Maybe age restrictions should be in the rules, but that is not up to me.
No.302536
>>302523>A lot of wizards didn't have absolutely horrible lives, but what they had formed them into what they are.Everyone has their own personal hell here and the random motivational black guy isn't applicable to most of us.
personally, I am currently outside of said "hell" alright?
No.302537
>>302536Glad to hear. Hope you never find yourself in another.
No.302538
>>302524Listen, it's awesome that you got out of that situation and are now living a life that you find worth living. Good for you, seriously. The reason people like Goggins grind my gears so much is that, as you've said yourself, most of us don't lead such bad lives to begin with. But all those gurus online will tell you to get on your grind and hustle and never stop and what not and for what? I have food and shelter and a job that I can tolerate for now, I am healthy and even have a couple of friends I can play video games with. The only things I am 'lacking' are superfluous things like social status or material riches, which are things you get through your circumstance for the most part.
I don't care about being exceptional, I just want to be comfortable and enjoy this ride as much as I can within my means while I still can, before life finds a way to fuck me up again. It's kind of like the Western vs Eastern mindset, the Western one being about pursuit and struggle and the Eastern more coming to acceptance of what is and contentment from within.
No.302539
>>302538Wish I could phrase things in such a concise manner.
Well said.
No.302556
>>302538thanx
>>302539this
second this opinion on
>>302538