/dep/ - Depression

>>301161
life and death is a mindboggling topic and its often said that we have free will but if that is true then how are these shitskin workers with the shittiest lifes to be explained?
why would anyone out of their free will chose to be born as a jeet or a nigger in africa?
nobody that is sane would, so this must mean that we are getting dropped off here against our will.
and if we couldnt even chose that, then what can we chose?
like anything at all?
looks to me like we have no control over it.

Don't worry as someone in one of those countries who can't even make 200USD a month is that you eventually get used to the system, you get used to the way things are, a lot of times if you earn 200USD, not like me if you don't manage to earn at all lol. The inequality is so brutal that people don't even consider it worthwhile to merely even talk about it. Most people here resign to their fate and some of them are even happy surprisingly but only some though. They just accept the things as the way they are.
As for suicide and everything, I don't really recommend suicide cause you know there is absolutely no evidence of afterlife, rebirth, or past life. You only have one life, there are no rerolls or anything, killing yourself means that there is 100% guarantee of missing out on the rest of your current life and no guarantee that your next life (which there is 0 evidence for) with be worthwhile or worthless.

>>301166
If you don't exist you don't suffer

the fact those people don't kill themselves en masse indicates to me their pain is tolerable, or at least compensated by their lack of awareness and/or copes.

and why is not having prior memories irrelevant? assuming the hypothetical is true, would that future person who grows up in a completely different environment than you today, really you at all?

>>301196
I'll tell you how there pain is intolerable. Half of them believe that after they die they are gonna have a better life and that they are going to be rewarded for it if they complete their religious duties. As for the other less violent half, they simply aren't aware and conciously choose not to see what their life could be, I tried this with my poor friends by showing them videos of middle class people and they were just not interested in seeing it, I told them to see the stark difference between themselves and the middle class and they were all so disinterested in it that they didn't care as if consciouly choosing not to see it cause they know deep down inside that if they would, then it would break their perception of reality. But man were they interested in cricket and other slop made to divert attention.

>>301161
I fear suicide because it seems too easy. 41 years of sadness and suffering and I can just bounce after a few minutes spent on the end of a rope I have in my garage? Like, that's it? I'm just free to go, and they're not gonna send the spectral search teams with astral scent hounds to track me down for breaking out of this corporeal prison? No sir, I don't trust it.

>>301161
I meant this mostly as a joke, but when discussing why third worlders seem to increase in numbers despite the suffering I told my friend the following.
They are too corrupt to escape the samsara cycle which ironically they themselves have invented.
With every iteration they perpetuate their corruption so they just accumulate in number over time.

If you aren't already one of them I wouldn't worry in all honesty. The average wizard has sinned less against others than most normies simply by virtue of interacting with less people in general.
Despite this I fear death. I'm 29 with ruined health and no future in a world that is passing by me, seemingly destined for destitution. By my own design it appears.
Yet I fear it. Every night I'm reminded of my mortality I cry. Every time I attempt to fight it by some minor improvement I'm in tears again.
I know I'll regret a great many things when the reaper comes to claim me and those are things I can no longer change.
I made some attempts, but pussied out from the only hard 100% success rate attempt at the last moment about exactly a decade ago.

I somehow still held hope for the future, that I would change, that I would live a life where I could die in peace. Guess what? It took just about 3 days to be back to same-old same-old…
I'm not sure why I'm like this. I do feel like I at least posses the illusion of free will. Things should have never been as hard as I made them out to be.
Inaction is the regret I hold in my heart, the time past is what I mourn each night. Yet the present and the future? Easily spent in the same frivolous manner.
In this sense I am a worse being than any brown, black or whatever else in these situations you dread, so my "joke" above doesn't quite ring true anymore.

You know how much it hurts to look back knowing, that regardless of the outcome basically every opportunity would have had an infinitely greater result just by taking action?
Any action? No matter what path I chose to walk it would have been incomparable to my situation. It didn't matter.
Non of the choices matter. The only wrong move was never having made one.

An ethics teacher once told the class that suffering is relative. Take it how you wish. It can be interpreted in dozens of ways.
So yeah, hell on earth is real and it can take any and every form one can experience.
My torment is of my own making to an extent. Yet I'm powerless to change. Is it learned helplessness? Is it some meme mental sickness? Is it laziness? Perhaps all, perhaps none.

I know inaction lead to this so maybe pulling the trigger is the action of redemption? Hell no…
As long as I'm alive despite any ailment I can hope and dream of a tomorrow where some spirit takes over my body and changes for the better.

Don't kill yourself either, not because of the possibilities of it getting worse, that is a given, but for the opportunity of things getting better.
I keep posting picrel whenever determinism comes up. Sure it's all determined and life might be an infinitely more complex version of this box, but since it's so complex you never know.
Maybe you'll encounter great fortune, maybe some chance encounter ticks some box or forces some chemical reaction in your brain that changes you for the better.
Every wizards post here is too like a wooden peg you bounce off of, even this one. They all change your trajectory a little.
Yours made me write this all up, think things through, reflect, but not change in behavior.
Maybe the next anonymage will open my third eye, I'll never know until it happens, but once you kill yourself you will become inert, forever stuck at your station in some sense.

On a side note I do hope for an afterlife. Oblivion is harder to accept than hell in a twisted way… Likely my ego talking.