No.304096
>>304095no, i can still work and shit, ive only had a few but shit sucks ass im paranoid all the fucking time
No.304115
The path to making good health decisions is very difficult when your household buys massive loads of junk food and very little substantial animal proteins. I was reducing my carbs, trying to slim down and quit eating things that make me feel miserable. But I have a very bad habit of snacking every hour or after every little activity, it's an extremely stubborn habit that I can't seem to quit, and would make worse through brute force. Yet what can I do? Brute forcing and suffering is my only option.
I'm thinking I'll buy myself some good clothes once I slim down. I want to take joy in my appearence, even if I'm a genetic fuckup, I wanna be happy with what I have. I really only need to fast for three days and begin eating more protein, but such a simple task feels like a herculean effort.
I made a friend online, he shares similar worldviews as me. I wonder how he's doing. He hasn't responded to me in a while… maybe I'm just that depressing to be around.
No.304120
>>304115>I made a friend online, he shares similar worldviews as me. I wonder how he's doing. He hasn't responded to me in a while… maybe I'm just that depressing to be around.I've made some "friends" online too, and most of them ghosted me. It seems that online "friendship" is such a joke.
No.304121
>>304120The only friend I've had in the last 20 years or so was made online as well, never met him in real life, he went from being proto-wizard to uber-normalfag, he has also ghosted me on and off throughout the years, I feel that since he started undergoing therapy it may have been the last time.
No.304122
>>304121Nothing in life lasts forever anon…be glad you're in good health. Even that is transient.
No.304125
I've been dealing with a compulsive decluttering habit for several years and lately it has gotten very bad. Just a constant urge to delete everything. I took most of the programs and files off of my PC, there is basically nothing on my phone, I have zero presence on any social media and most of my days consist of browsing imageboards with little to no other forms of recreation. Nothing about my outward appearance or demeanor suggests I have this problem, my room seems "lived-in" but to me it feels barren. I've wanted to start a large archival project but it's gotten nowhere because I'll spend several weeks on it, then just randomly decide to format the drives and give up. I don't know what I'm even working towards anymore. My effort isn't being met with a tangible reward, I'm not in an environment conducive to any sort of growth or actualization. If there's no cure for schizoid and OCD tendencies then what is the fucking point?
No.304130
maximalisation of all suffering
torment increasing with seemingly no limit
glorification of dementia and physical disability
regulation of all human behavior
this is what people have a burning desire for
best thing? reality will give these retards precisely what they want
No.304131
>>304126Yeah, also this. I tried having online "friends" but it fept like so much pressure. Somebody always wanted to talk to me. It was so draining, I can't understand how othe people can maintain more than one friendship. Hell, even one friend is too much for me. I just feel like a suqeezed lemon after talking to people.
No.304132
>>304131Extroverts get energized by socializing because they don't have to think before they speak, they SPEAK in order to think. For them it's as natural as breathing. They walk away from every conversation feeling like they just moved forward in some way and figured something out because they use other people as sounding board to clarify their own thoughts. If they don't do it for a while, it gets noisy in their head and they don't know how manage that on their own.
No.304133
>>304131I used to feel the same way and still do, but I've realized I need some level of communication to stimulate my mind. I just speak plainly, come and go at my own time, and dont listen to 'obligations'. I dont get attached to people and dont take anything they say personally. I treat them like an imageboard, basically.
No.304142
I'm so tired of it all.
No.304145
What do you do when you see that someone managed to do better in 2 weeks what you couldn’t do in 3 years ? The only answer seems to be suicide. I’m not made for this world. I’m a failure and apparently borderline retarded.
No.304146
>>304145I've accepted being subhuman
No.304147
>>304145You’re basically lying. That’s just not possible.
No.304149
A tear jerker heartwarming drama from an anime or tv series doesn't happen in real life. Most people's life are boring and miserable and I have accepted that. So imagine my envy when I encounter the 0,001% of humanity whose life is interesting or who overcome some adversary for a happy ending like a movie protagonists. Absolute cuckoldry that some people just get to live the best that human experience can offer while the rest of us have to live with the fiction isn't real cope.
No.304150
>>304147I wish I was lying.
No.304153
>>304145I jerk off lol. I've almost finished giving up on this. There's basically nothing left but suicide when people are out performing you 10-20x times. I tried countless times to "catch up" and unstupid myself by slow gradual relearning, it's all fake and shit. Sometimes, you just have to let go.
No.304156
>>304145I would
a) ssume they found a great trick and think of it as nothing special
b) itch internally about the fact I picked up some wrong subject in my life AGAIN
No.304157
>>304156>>304156>>304156also
c) ollect some data on the subject via some funny AI with a feature to look things up, like PerPLX.
I would keep asking questions like
"Which is the ample room condition to perform X"
"what is the correct way to start X"
"wha setup do I need"
"quite a collection of items I need to perform X tell me my alternatives?"
No.304182
>die
>Christ shows up and starts speaking
>he says "this is exactly what you think it is"
>those who believed in me and have loved get MEGA PLEASURE FOREVER
>those who have disbelieved and tormented and hurt get MEGA TORTURE FOREVER
what is your reaction?
No.304183
>>304182I mean loved non-sexually obviously (for trigger happy mods)
No.304186
I'll never have friendships or a sense of belonging again for the rest of my life. I am scared of life, scared of death. Scared of the world. I want the warmth and safety I felt when I hugged my mother as a little kid. But that feeling is just a fading memory now. I'll never experience it again until I die alone and unknown. It's too damn cold tonight.
No.304187
>>304186Don't whine, be a man
No.304189
I would also like to truly belong somewhere. I wish I still felt things, anhedonia killed me
No.304193
I'm not sure if it's depression/mental illness. But I just have a foreboding that the whole world's going to go to shit over the next few years.
No.304198
>>304193>>304193It already went to shit lol
wealth, health, social cohesion all gone in the western world
Chinks will become the new masters with their industrial capitalism
No.304199
>>304187What the fuck is a man like you doing here?
No.304200
>>304199It looks to me as if he's disparaging a young timid boy for whining about being lonely on a forum designated for grown men who chose to remain alone.
No.304205
Thanksgiving is tomorrow, and while I usually like Thanksgiving due to the fact that it's typically very simple and low-pressure for me, this year is going to suck.
>mother and sister got into a big argument earlier this year and have held a grudge ever since
>now I have to split my Thanksgiving between two houses (I currently live with my parents, but I'm expected to go to my sister's as well)
>some of my family will be coming here first and bringing their friends/girlfriends (strangers, in my home? fuck that shit)
>afterwards I have to go to my sister's, a succubus who is notoriously stubborn and selfish
>teenage nephew (sister's son) just got busted with alcohol, my brother is a recovering alcoholic and became a devout christian (I sense lengthy lectures in the very near future)
>brother-in-law's (sister's husband) family will be there, and although they're nice, I'm certain they can smell the potent stench of disfunction and abnormality on every member of my family
>on top of all that, I have been sick for the past two days, and while I really don't want to infect anyone, I'm worried if I opt out of any 'festivities' my family will get offended and give me shit over it for months
I used to at least enjoy Thanksgiving, but now I think I can officially say that I hate all major holidays.
No.304209
>>304205that sucks wizzie, but aren't you… a grown ass man? are you seriously not able to put your foot down and just tell your mom/dad you don't want to go to the stupid social event? you must be pretty young if you still care about what your extended family thinks (spoiler: they'll think you're a fucking loser no matter what). just stop showing up to the yearly humiliation ritual you'll be happier, trust me.
No.304212
>>304209>aren't you… a grown ass man?Physically, yes. Mentally? I don't even qualify as human anymore.
>are you seriously not able to put your foot down and just tell your mom/dad you don't want to go to the stupid social event?My parents are actually alright with it, given the way my sister has been acting the past month or so, but my siblings and nephews will give me shit about it. It's not really that awful I suppose, just annoying.
>you must be pretty young if you still care about what your extended family thinksI'm not and I don't. Anything I do socially basically amounts to a bare-minimum effort to avoid unnecessary hassle or harassment.
>(spoiler: they'll think you're a fucking loser no matter what). just stop showing up to the yearly humiliation ritual you'll be happier, trust me.Thankfully, I've reached the point where my family has given up hope on me becoming 'successful' and have accepted that I'm a disappointment. That's why Thanksgiving used to be nice, I would just show up, bullshit my way through a little small talk, eat a feast of specially prepared food, pretend to care about football for an hour or so, then go home. Simple and tidy, or at least it was until now. My previous post was, more than anything, a small lament about the only holiday I still liked becoming shit. Just another thing in this bleak life that I can no longer enjoy. All that said, if I'm still feeling sick tomorrow I wont be going anywhere. Not worth the hassle.
No.304216
>>304209You should know better than to ask a question like that. If you're still reliant on someone else for food and shelter, you're dependent on their whims.
No.304218
It is too hard to be understood and connect with anyone and my vulnerabilities are too numerous and raw to avoid coming up too early and frequently and being struck in a way that isn't just unbearable painful but that destroys the process of trust building and ability to even continue any communication .
All the growth and progress I've made is offset by remaining problems that are still too big and some that got bigger in the mean time
Now I'm almost 40 and still have less than scraps of all the human necessities.
No.304220
>>304205Bring tupperware-like boxes
No.304225
>>304216nah, if you act like a bitch, people gonna treat you like a bitch. if you don't provide pushback, people will just walk over you, including your parents who are used to the idea that they own you because you came out of their dick & vagina.
No.304226
>>304225Disrespecting people who give you food is acting like a bitch. Disregarding your family because of muh quarrels/issued is acting like a bitch, too. If you're so smart either kill yourself or earn your own food. And if you don't depend in your parents to give you food, maybe you shouldn't be a bitch a spend an hour with them of the Thanksgiving day for the simple fact of them being your family, it won't kill you.
No.304228
>>304226if people respect you, you respect them back. that's called reciprocity, but you don't kiss their ass and eat their shit time and time again and hope something changes. if your family members prod into your personal life and make you feel bad about yourself, they don't deserve your presence. simple as!
No.304236
I hate normies so much.
No.304239
>>304205Sounds better than my family, I know I shouldn't complain since family is family but I really just don't like my own family man; you can't pick them anyway, they're inherently terrible people.
Alcoholism and mental illness mixed with poverty and disfunction, nothing new or special but it fucked me up more than enough to post here.
>pic not related, just something I was staring at on acid once. No.304240
>>304239the irony of looking down on your family for being alkies while shoehorning that you're a braindead druggie in the very next sentence. sorry kiddo, you aren't any better than them.
No.304242
>>304240He hasn't reproduced so he still has the moral high ground here.
No.304254
I wonder how many people would still be around if everyone was given a small device with a single button at the age of 20 years that simply makes you never wake up the next time you fall asleep. I'm sure I would not be around. But this kind of utopia is not even dreamable in a normie psychopathic narcissistic ruled world.
No.304257
>>304236This.
I can't stand people, I live in a overpopulated european city and every time I leave the house I have to endure crowds of people driving cars, talking to each other and forming queues in shops.
Now that winter is coming they also spread viruses and illnesses. It's intolerable how selfish and shallow humans are, they don't care if we get sick.
No.304275
>>304257Can't tell if a troll or just the general mindset on this chan. We got covid measures, because niggers like you went along with them, retard.
>Hurr durr other selfishMeanwhile lives in an already overpopulated city
No.304276
>>304275>B-but people have no choice about where they liveYeah, I bet the rest of those assholes are saying the same thing, yall deserve each other
No.304284
>>304275I'm forced to live with my parents and I'm immunodepressed, so yeah these selfish assholes meeting with relatives for christmas spread all kind of diseases. I truly despise this time of the year.
No.304308
>>304275>covid was badThat was one of the best years of my life as an actual 30+ wizard. Life actually paused, the whole of life paused, any guilt trips from my parents, from my coworkers, from MYSELF were on hold. As a working wizard I got to reexperience life as a NEET again.
There are a lot of niggers complaining about people being sheep. Those people are fags who think they're smarter than they actually are since they were deaf and blind to all the other stuff had been going before covid hit.