>>305633I can share a poem that may stem from similar feelings.
Great as glaciers, the clouds
Floating o'er an empty sea
Cast upon the busy crowds
Deathly pale antipathy.
Scatter'd like so many blots
Carelessly on paper strewn:
Him, pursuing private plots,
That one, trawling for a boon,
All in all, the inky herd
Must dark patterns always trace.
From ill courses undeterr'd,
Ever goes the mortal race.
There are also some bits of advice I can offer, which I often have to remind myself of in connection with these matters. This could all very well be mere projection on my part, because I am very susceptible to all that which I am about to attribute to you. Also, I recognise that you may have intentionally omitted some details in the interest of protecting your privacy, or simply because you didn't feel like expounding on every point. That all being said, I wonder if you might find any of this useful, too.
>The 1st - "Physician, heal thyself!"Or, the principal importance of solving your own problems before trying to solve those of others. Being still very far from perfecting myself, I admit a certain hypocrisy in even recommending the same to you. However, it seems clear to me that, between changing the world and changing one's own life, it's far more practical to begin by changing one's life, and that even the example of those changes taking place in yourself can have an effect on other people. The reverse should also be true: by not overcoming the evil in oneself, one could function as yet another vector for that evil to "infect" others, by example or indirect influence. Perhaps you could benefit from temporarily setting aside or reducing the amount of time you spend on larger "external" topics like the state of the world, elites and civilisation. When you do spend time on these things, consider what you hope to gain or how you can practically apply what you learn to your own situation.
>The 2nd - Clear goals and thinking.There seems to be a certain vagueness or over-generality in your way of thinking about these things. I wonder if you might not benefit from clearly outlining what you want to accomplish and why, as well as what the specific obstacles to each of your goals are. Also, perhaps you could define and delimit what you consider to be your inviolable moral principles, so you can better understand how to get around them without betraying yourself. My assumption is, if your morals will permit you to go so far as being gainfully employed, you are not one of those types who feels he is committing an intolerable evil merely by participating in the world. Therefore, you ought to have a fair amount of flexibility in what you can achieve externally. Since you like video games, perhaps you will agree with me that having a list of clearly stated goals is rather like having a quest log, and so is very useful in providing direction to your activities and ensuring that you continue to make progress over time. This even if you don't spend all (or even most) of your time on "questing." Having things stated clearly in this way also allows you to break goals into sub-goals, which can be distributed across days or weeks, making large tasks far more manageable.
>The 3rd - Things that are beyond our control.I consider myself deserving of chastisement when I find myself wishing for something that is out of my power. I suggest you confine your hopes to those matters which you can affect the outcomes of. This way, your happiness or disappointment won't be subject to random chance or the whims of other people, and you will always have the ability to give yourself reasons to feel moralised, by living up to your own standards of conduct and fulfilling the goals which you set for yourself. On the other hand, when considering whether something really is or is not within your control, you may find, as I often do, that arbitrary self-imposed limits have been preventing you from considering certain courses of action, and so the scope of what you can achieve may be considerably larger than it seems at first glance.
>The 4th - Controlling that which influences you."Hopefully" I am not being overly presumptuous in these repeated comparisons between your situation and mine. I have found that I am a very easily influenced person, and so I find it necessary to avoid excessive exposure to things which I expect would influence me in a negative way. Directly put, if you fill up your head with examples of corruption and immorality, and these vices pervading every level of civilisation with no counterbalance, it's only natural for you to feel that you are hopeless and powerless, and that nothing you do really matters. I believe this is a direct reaction to all the demoralisation you've been bombarding yourself with. You may feel that by turning away from these things, you are turning away from the truth. My opinion is that this truth is a very one-sided truth, to the point that it could well be termed a "lie by omission." The omission is that there is in fact goodness in the world, and I think you believe this too, because you allude to decent and honest people in your post, and your mention of corruption and degradation implies that there is something to corrupt and degrade, i.e. something which is not yet totally consumed. If you are anything like me, I think you could benefit by providing yourself with as many examples of that goodness as you can find, anywhere in the world, be they modern or even historical, because those examples will have a positive effect on you, here and now. Eat well and take care of yourself. Spend time in nature if you can. Everything helps.