No.303907
We are only a couple years, at most, from digital ID being forcefully implemented around the world. Whether its going to stay or not we don't really know but just knowing that it will happen dissolves the motivation that I have to develop a career. I could try to get somewhere but if Im going to have to drop it all in a year to keep myself from being tracked and tagged then what is the point. It's probably worth it for the money before it happens but I don't feel ready to deal with this when I am still a meek retard in 2025
No.303909
>>303907I already don't have social media, but the current state of the internet makes me want to use it less and less. At this point, I don't even care about Digital ID, but the time it's implemented, I will probably go offline.
No.303927
Are there any other suicide forums than Sanctioned Suicide? I got banned for "fetish content" for discussing hanging yourself while watching porn and jerking off.
Also that entire site is so damned cucked. Got warnings for stupid stuff before.
No.303945
OD'd and gave my self brain damage
Severe back and leg pain
No GP will accept me in my area
Next to zero experience with any kind of non-familial relationships
Zero friends or avenues to make them also lacking the drive to want them
No job
<1 month of money before I have nothing left
My place is a fucking mess
Dad wont talk to me
Realising Mum has actually been an awful influence on my life
Grandparents mental decline is really noticeable now
Tell you what lads, that exit bag is looking real fucking sweet
No.303946
>>303945with your last strenght, say something nice to Jesus in a final prayer
like
Jesus Christ I want to be useful to you!
No.303957
>>303946I'd sooner wager my after life via undying loyalty to Cthulhu rather than any abrahamic religion.
No.303967
I hate how people have exploited my autism. I really regret giving effort in life at all, I was too stupid to realize that anger is an expression of dominance, not that I was doing things wrong.
I feel like family and others have just spat in my face with their anger my entire life, and what makes it so fucking disgusting is that the reason I suffered so much is that I tried. I got shamed into working, shamed into living above my means, shamed into doing certain tasks. If I wasn't pro-social I would've been fine living on welfare in a fucking piece of shit apartment in the countryside, and never would have experienced this misery.
I only felt misery after school, I was really happy until I left. At school people were indifferent to me and left me alone. Then just the constant anger I got from family and people at work after leaving school has broken me.
Autism isn't a fucking hard thing either. Just give us NEETbux and leave us the fuck alone. Why the fuck are social workers always trying to push me into work when it's obviously fucking me up, obviously has fucked me up, and clearly does people with this disorder no good.
No.303975
>>303898>you choose drugs over people Anon, you are a fucking asshole and I hope you will burn in hell for saying this to that poor wiz. You probably haven't even been bullied yet. Fuck off.
No.303987
>>303891…
I think you should try taking a day off and sleeping through the day
No.303990
Studied a business degree on a whim and two weeks before graduating I realized I don't want anything to do with business. Thought about a bit and I think I might like working at a library. But do I really want to go back to school *again* for a few years and spend another thousands for it? I wish I could just take a volunteer position to get a feel for it but the thing is, it's basically impossible to get one in my country unless someone can get your foot in the door for you. Of course, if I could just back in time I would, so I don't really know what I should do. I feel so stupid for wasting all that time and money on that stupid degree.
No.303992
>>303990>business degreeIt was a waste of time before but it's even more useless now that people just use LLM for it. It's useless outside of making connections or providing formal qualification to get a job where the employer already likes you anyway.
No.303996
>>303992>making connections>just use LLMHmmmmmm…
"How to use LLM as a substitute to having an MBA myself?" would be quite a prompt.
No.303998
>>303992I felt that I had to study something as I was only working dead end jobs, and nothing else at the time really interested me, so I applied for it 2 weeks before the semester started. If I gave myself more time I never would have went for it. My only grace is that since library work consists of a lot of administrative work maybe the business degree might give me some sort of leverage. Maybe not I really don't know
No.304005
>>303990Lmao i studied a bookkeeping certificate online. Even while i was doing it i could tell it was an utterly pointless scam. At least it didnt cost me much.
No.304032
There is seemingly this all consuming cancer in the air
It makes everyone waste their lives on meaningless bs
things which make life worth living like basic respect, freedom, health, capability of being left alone are actively attacked and removed from society
everything is reduced to this sequence of demoralised interactions
No.304033
>>304032The toxic leaders of the world enjoy to enforce misery upon us
No.304036
I've missed out on so much basic human experiences by having a fucked up brain. Even the dumbest, most insufferable, most unfortunate, disabled normie has memories of relationships with people, places he had seen or memorable things he had done. I had nothing. Even when I interact with people or travel to places, it felt wrong like I am not really getting "it". The rest of the time when I am not doing that I just hide in my room. My life passes me by. It feels like I had been imprisoned since birth, only looking at other people's life from my window, except that I am physically free.
No.304037
>>304036you should try to get a hobby, anything really, something that doesn't involve a computer screen. Even going on walks, listening to podcast, doing exercise, learning how to cook a dish you like, reading any book you're interested in, and then yeah also spending time on your pc.
I'm in the same situation as you, I've gone through really long periods of social isolation and it really degenerates your brain. Rumination is a mental disease.
Best thing is to exercise and also sunbathe enough to counterbalance the onset of depression or depression in general. Being physically active is what can give you some relief and help with your condition. It won't make it go away but it will help if you're consistent.
No.304039
I tried to hang myself but I chickened out at the last moment.
I really thought I could do it…
No.304041
I used to sleep 9-12 hours, now I'm lucky if I get 6 hours in. I want my sleeping abilities back. Sleep is really the main factor against all sorts of mental symptoms. 8-9 hours probably would be ideal, more than 9 sometimes has negative effects as well. But my body or mind doesn't allow me.
No.304042
>>304041I can only get either too much sleep or too little. My body rejects healthy lifestyle.
No.304046
>>304041Same.
Does it affect your libido?
No.304048
>>304047it all depends on the potatoes mainly its size, small ones cook faster for obvious reasons but you could just have easily checked at min 15 or 16 with a fork if it goes easy to its core then it's bland and already cooked. maybe next time set an alarm if you dont like being in the kitchen waiting
No.304052
everything is cucked shite
media is cucked shite
tech is cucked shite
politics is cucked shite
working is cucked shite
neeting is slightly less cucked shite
internet is cucked shite
No.304058
>>303510None of that could possibly happen. You're a troll.
No.304059
>>304052XX century: Situation Normal All Fucked Up - SNAFU
XXI century: Situation Normal All Cucked Up - SNACU
No.304060
This is ridiculous. You're (we're?) all so absurd. I'm grateful to you but I
really hope I never come back here.
Falling, falling, falling in the darkness. Watching everything and everyone
pass by on the way down, unable to touch them, unable to stop. Stretching out
and blurring and melting - a peculiar feeling. How many years has it been?
I don't want to be like you (us?) anymore.
No.304064
I slept for almost a continuous ~18 hours, only getting up to pee a few times.
Dreamed about a childhood friend. Last time we'd have played together would be some ~25 years ago. Why do these memories stick so much stronger than anything more recent? Do our souls just die around age 12-16?
Being awake just doesn't offer much. Back to bed.
No.304068
>>304064>18 hoursI love that kind of slumber. I drank four beers yesterday and took a sleeping pill, slept for 20 hours straight. Had a lot of dreams. Mostly weird shit about my relatives hating on me. But sleep is the last refuge I have. Wish I could sleep forever.
Sometimes I have weird feelings non-existent in real life. Some are comfy, some feel like chewing razors. But all dreams better than what lies outside of them.
No.304071
>>304068>I drank four beers yesterday and took a sleeping pill,You are brave.
I once drank one (1) beer because I forgot that I took my sleeping pill, and I basically skipped from a pleasant buzz stage straight to the "drank two liters of vodka" hangover.
No.304072
>>304060See you tomorrow.
No.304076
>>303254I'm so fucking mediocre at everything, I hate this fucking shit.
>>303254 No.304094
Just got diagnosed with epilepsy. fuck my stupid shitty life i cant catch a FUCKING BREAK
No.304096
>>304095no, i can still work and shit, ive only had a few but shit sucks ass im paranoid all the fucking time
No.304115
The path to making good health decisions is very difficult when your household buys massive loads of junk food and very little substantial animal proteins. I was reducing my carbs, trying to slim down and quit eating things that make me feel miserable. But I have a very bad habit of snacking every hour or after every little activity, it's an extremely stubborn habit that I can't seem to quit, and would make worse through brute force. Yet what can I do? Brute forcing and suffering is my only option.
I'm thinking I'll buy myself some good clothes once I slim down. I want to take joy in my appearence, even if I'm a genetic fuckup, I wanna be happy with what I have. I really only need to fast for three days and begin eating more protein, but such a simple task feels like a herculean effort.
I made a friend online, he shares similar worldviews as me. I wonder how he's doing. He hasn't responded to me in a while… maybe I'm just that depressing to be around.
No.304120
>>304115>I made a friend online, he shares similar worldviews as me. I wonder how he's doing. He hasn't responded to me in a while… maybe I'm just that depressing to be around.I've made some "friends" online too, and most of them ghosted me. It seems that online "friendship" is such a joke.
No.304121
>>304120The only friend I've had in the last 20 years or so was made online as well, never met him in real life, he went from being proto-wizard to uber-normalfag, he has also ghosted me on and off throughout the years, I feel that since he started undergoing therapy it may have been the last time.
No.304122
>>304121Nothing in life lasts forever anon…be glad you're in good health. Even that is transient.
No.304125
I've been dealing with a compulsive decluttering habit for several years and lately it has gotten very bad. Just a constant urge to delete everything. I took most of the programs and files off of my PC, there is basically nothing on my phone, I have zero presence on any social media and most of my days consist of browsing imageboards with little to no other forms of recreation. Nothing about my outward appearance or demeanor suggests I have this problem, my room seems "lived-in" but to me it feels barren. I've wanted to start a large archival project but it's gotten nowhere because I'll spend several weeks on it, then just randomly decide to format the drives and give up. I don't know what I'm even working towards anymore. My effort isn't being met with a tangible reward, I'm not in an environment conducive to any sort of growth or actualization. If there's no cure for schizoid and OCD tendencies then what is the fucking point?
No.304130
maximalisation of all suffering
torment increasing with seemingly no limit
glorification of dementia and physical disability
regulation of all human behavior
this is what people have a burning desire for
best thing? reality will give these retards precisely what they want
No.304131
>>304126Yeah, also this. I tried having online "friends" but it fept like so much pressure. Somebody always wanted to talk to me. It was so draining, I can't understand how othe people can maintain more than one friendship. Hell, even one friend is too much for me. I just feel like a suqeezed lemon after talking to people.
No.304132
>>304131Extroverts get energized by socializing because they don't have to think before they speak, they SPEAK in order to think. For them it's as natural as breathing. They walk away from every conversation feeling like they just moved forward in some way and figured something out because they use other people as sounding board to clarify their own thoughts. If they don't do it for a while, it gets noisy in their head and they don't know how manage that on their own.
No.304133
>>304131I used to feel the same way and still do, but I've realized I need some level of communication to stimulate my mind. I just speak plainly, come and go at my own time, and dont listen to 'obligations'. I dont get attached to people and dont take anything they say personally. I treat them like an imageboard, basically.