/dep/ - Depression

What are you sad about?

>>303848
I'm sad because I don't have a job or a degree, I'm a NEET, I can't read because of my depression, same when I want to play games or do something else. nothing solace me

>>303850
well, I like what nerd, otaku, weebs, geeks like. anime manga video games and the alike (card games, etc…), like everyone like nowdays. and I like orher things too but main is what I said first

>>303851
Accidentally deleted my other post. Your hobby seems all consumerist, and consuming media tend to stop being satisfying after a while. What are some active hobbies that you like? Something that requires making and sharing perhaps?

>>303852
I don't have any 'making' hobby. I have no talent

>>303853
That's okay. When I feel that dull, aching, empty feeling, I just embrace it. Maybe romanticize it, because i cant escape it and its not my fault. I find that sleeping, riding the bus and distracting myself helps. There's alot of options out there, it doesnt have to stop at consumerism.

>>303854
am not a smartass so I can't create, all I do is consum. I'm just those low life people in a society that are not smart and consum lot of media

Sounds like another case of "I'm terminally depressed for the reasons that a Discord Depression server's users told me I should be depressed about".

OP you have all the free time in the world, a roof above your head, and the internet at your fingertips. If there's something you want to do, just do it. Avoid depressing places like this. Misery loves company because that's how misery grows. Quit surrounding yourself with depressing people and thoughts, and begin changing up your routine and trying new things until you find something that relieves whatever anguish you feel. You're not too "low iq" to start doing creative things and you're not undeserving of studying and experimenting because you're not some eccentric outgoing normalfag.

>>303856
You need money to do any worthwhile hobby. Even drawing when you really get into the hobby costs too much.

>>303856
I appreciate you taking the time to write me a message and care for my situation
>>303858
I wish I started earlier. all I do nowdays is daydreaming

>>303858
>Even drawing when you really get into the hobby costs too much
Pencil. Paper. Fuck you.

>>303863
Most creative hobbies are really cheap unless you are a succubus who is obsessed with hoarding ~ aesthetic ~ supplies or some mentally unwell weirdo who NEEDS a dozen of guitars.
Writing? You already have a computer to type on, I assume. Music? Some instruments are super low investment, and easy to learn too, like ukulele. Drawing? A screenless Wacom wouldn't cost more than 100$ and it's all you need, really. Some people just find excuses to avoid doing things.

>am not a smartass so I can't create, all I do is consum. I'm just those low life people in a society that are not smart and consum lot of media

This right here might very well be the main cause of your depression and outlook on life and yourself. Defining yourself through consumption with the premise that you inherently are mentally and physically unable to be productive, creative and generally incapable of achieving anything or make improvements. This is intensified by your life situation (NEET, jobless, no degree, maybe other shortcomings you recognize with yourself) and often by comparison with others, online and offline, who apparently are more successful, smarter, more talented etc. What you have to do now is three things. First, forget the past. You cannot delete the past physically or neurologically, but you can consciously distance yourself from it and say that you don't want to engage with it anymore. Second, stop comparisons with others, if that's something that you do. Comparison will cause nothing but pain and negative emotions and won't have any use or positive effect at all. Just drop it. Thirdly, reduce consumption (especially passive, brain-dead consumption like watching shorts, porn, etc.) in your life as much as possible (it does not have to be at full stop, but think about it yourself which content and form of your consumption you would describe as 'it's okay keeping this for the next year, it gives me something and leaves with positive impressions' and which consumption you would describe as 'I wish I wouldn't do this anymore, I always feel worse after this and it doesn't give me anything and I would have been better off not doing this') and replace it with more productive and creative activities that you would be interested in if you had the capability to engage with them, and just by doing this the capability comes by itself over time simply by taking the time for it (for example reading a book instead of skimming through image boards). You must realise how much this consumerist way of life actually effects your life, how much time it wastes, and how the cycle of consumption never even gives you the chance to come up with any positive observations about yourself or the world you live in, over time it creates nothing but disgust and hate for yourself and existing in general. There needs to be a healthy balance between consumption and productivity. But for you, the consumption has long taken over your life and leaves nothing but a shell behind. You have to take every remaining will you have to identify this impact and then start doing something against it step by step, reducing in small corners and slowly work towards this balance. Also realise that you are not hard wired to not be able to be productive, that you are not too retarded for that, that is just a lie your brain is generating to repeat the consumption cycle in which you are helplessly trapped again and again leaving you behind shattered. And this might even be reinforced by online trolls and fags even more. The Nietzschean consumerist hell hole so many people fall victim to these days is insanity, it's a trick the devil if such thing existed would love to execute itself.

>>303872
thank you for your post
I have a problem: image boards are my only social interaction, and if I do anything other than stay on them, I'm afraid I'll miss out on something. This is all because I don't have many social relationships in real life, and unfortunately, I'm one of those people who really need them.

OP here. tried to play some game today but after 5 minutes O stopped playing. it is difficult to change my bad habits, I just can't

>>303874
Hang in there. Just try to do a little each day even if all you can do is 5 minutes. If you've got extra energy, try to do a little more than yesterday, but if not anything is fine.

>>303849
>I'm sad because I don't have a job or a degree
why the fuck would you be sad about that lol.
wagecucking is some of the worst shit ever.

>>303877
I can't be a NEET my whole life

domestos

>>303852
>Your hobby seems all consumerist, and consuming media tend to stop being satisfying after a while.
True. Been there. Sad thing is, me mum saps whatever craft I try - she would stash my tools at different corners of the house because "she puts thing to order!"

That nothingness you feel has always been there, its just humans have this weird useless drive for self given purpose. Life has always been a bread crumb trail leading you in an endless void, Use that depression aka true sight to realize to irrelevancy of everything that exists.

>>303943
when I had my schizophrenic raving I'd never used imageboards or anything else in internet. I didn't feel the urge to come in imageboards and get my dopamine rush of fast answers. I wish I could go back to that state

>>303948
I don't know to what extent I really have schizophrenia anymore. It's become something I blow out of proportion to excuse being a terminally online idiot. It's more of a passtime than a mental illness at this point. If I weren't so aimless, I could almost be a normal generic human being.

>>303949
you also have schizophrenia?

>>303950
I think so but my current meds work pretty well so I feel mostly normal. I'm probably less paranoid than your typical /pol/ or /g/ user. I have occasional psychoses but they last maybe a few days at most.

>>303951
ok I see. do you have visual hallucination or auditory hallucinations? I had auditory hallucinations

>>303952
I get very mild auditory hallucinations that might actually just be due to an undiagnosed sleep disorder. My only major symptoms that I can identify are ideas of reference and paranoid delusions but only rarely because the antipsychotics actually work most of the time. The side effects kind of suck but they are manageable. I struggled with the condition for years but it's not as bad now. I don't have the focus or motivation that I used to but it might just be me getting old and jaded. My cousin has it bad and has spent decades homeless or in jail.

What is your experience with the condition?

>>303953
>What is your experience with the condition?
it all started in 2018 or 2019 I don't remmber. schizophrenia striked me out of nowhere. I had delirium and had to quit my job at the factory. went 4 week to psychicyard and after coming home I had lot of delirium (I thought my neighbors hacked our devices and where mocking us because of what we do or watch on our devices. these delirium stayes for years. nowdays I feel neutral/a normal state of mind because of years of meds and resting (didn't do anything these years, just resting at home/a NEET another words).
here's my story so far

>>303954
>didn't do anything these years, just resting at home/a NEET another words).

That's kind of what I did. I used it as an excuse to take up a bunch of hobbies and just try to learn any skill. I managed to code a few simple video games during that time. At this point, the ship has sailed on trying to make a career for myself due to AI and the worsening job market but I had fun at least.

>>303955
waoh you made a game,im impressed.
for me, I learned no skills in these resting years. I couldn't do anything, I was too depressed and crying like everyday. i was in a bad mood and the delirium because of schizophrenia. so yeah I developped 0 skills

>>303955
Wiz, don't beat yourself down over AI. The people who care about games would rather play an authentic game made by YOU rather than some quickly made AI game with stolen assests. Same thing with art: people who CARE about art pick a real drawing every time.
Give coding one more try, you have nothing to lose, aren't you? Who knows, maybe in a few years you will develop your skill so well that you would be able to solve complex problems where AI stumbles.