No.304761
I had an idea recently (while thinking about my own life) that feelings of
unfulfilment stem from alien values. It may be that the life you aspire to or
have been coerced into living is not the one you are best suited for.
I once heard a succubus say this (paraphrasing as it was a while ago and not in
English): "When I was young, I felt that I wasn't good at anything. Then, my
grandmother told me, 'You don't need to be brilliant; just live a good life.'
I thought that was very nice, and I have always remembered those words."
Well, when I first heard the succubus say that, I thought, "How silly. Of course
that's what you would tell a child who isn't particularly good at anything. It's
a cope, like so many others." But lately, I've begun to wonder about it more,
and in fact, I found myself idly wishing that someone had told me something like
that when I was younger. It might be that this idea that we have to become as
good or better than others is a kind of trap, and that for some people there is
no need to be especially good at anything. I spent so much time worrying about
stupid things like grades and reaching a "perfect future," and for what? I
was overwhelmed, I had nervous breakdowns, I thought about suicide regularly
and even developed health problems. In retrospect, it was all so silly and
unnecessary, but because I had internalised ideas like "good grades in school >
top college > high-paying job > retire at 40," I wasn't even able to consider
ideas like accepting poverty (in multiple senses), being frugal and finding ways
to live well that don't rely on this value system which was created for people
who are not like me, and which was forced upon me when I was young.
I can only speak about my own life, and of course no one knows your situation
as well as you. But, since you seem to be seeking advice, perhaps you would be
better served by ignoring the talents and skills of others (to whatever extent
you can) and instead finding ways to live a good life (regarding whatever is in
your power to control). And don't spend too much time on imageboards. Places
like this are "depression support groups" only in the sense that they support
depression, not the people suffering from it. I have been forced to admit the
importance of occasional "interchange" with other people, and, for the moment,
sites like this one seem to be the best option I have. But, if my visits become
any more than "infrequent," it does not go well, and it is so easy in our age to
find better distractions than imageboards.
One's "way of thinking" is so important. If I have the right mindset, I can be
satisfied just watching the wind blow the trees around. Maybe cultivating that
state is what is really helpful in a life that is not destined to be excellent.
No.304764
>mentally handicapped>I wasn't able to continue collegeThat's not being mentally handicapped at all, you got into college after all. You just have low self confidence, brainfog, depression, etc. You don't find meaning to your life and you don't know who you are. It'll take time but you will get over it.
>>304761Good advice. People need to stop worrying about living up to ideals that aren't even theirs but just got planted into their heads at a young age.