No.305123
People like to say suffering “builds character” or “makes you stronger,” but that idea is only half true at best. Struggle can force growth when there’s support, safety, and room to process what happened. Some people do come out of hardship with deeper empathy, resilience, or clarity about what matters. But that growth isn’t automatic, and it’s not owed to the pain itself. Often it comes despite the suffering, not because of it, through reflection, help from others, or sheer luck in having the resources to heal.
Just as often, suffering doesn’t strengthen someone at all; it wears them down. Chronic stress, trauma, and loss can rewire the brain toward fear, numbness, or hopelessness. Instead of “character,” you get anxiety, depression, mistrust, or burnout. Saying suffering is good for you can quietly invalidate people who were harmed by it and never got the chance to recover. Pain isn’t a forge that reliably produces stronger people, it’s a risk. Sometimes people adapt and grow, and sometimes they’re left carrying damage that was never fair to ask them to endure in the first place.
No.305124
The people who say that are the ones who don't suffer
No.305125
The people who say that are often those who have suffered the most.
No.305126
>>305123thanks but i prefer my suffering till death
No.305130
Something something zone of optimal performance, flow psychology
No.305131
>>305130Nah it's just the principle of threshold force. If it doesn't break you it makes you more resilient. Yeah sure you end up really twisted in places but ugh such is life I guess.
OP is likely just on a self pity spree trying to rationalize his inability to cope. Should get better in a few days.
No.305137
I remember being made to read a book about Soviet refugees that escaped the gulag. And later in life in New Zealand they weren't really any better off for it. They just worked the lowest of wagecuck jobs, were sorta socially isolated and did weird things like hoard bread crusts in their drawer. The US soldiers that escorted them to the country were commenting on how they just seemed lifeless and distrusting, emotionless even as they were given candy and sweets.
There was a guy at my old job who was completely normal until a group of guys kidnapped him and locked him under a carpit for several days. He almost died of dehydration. He came out of that a barely functioning alcoholic that would melt down when anyone would yell at him. He was constantly the victim of confidence tricks.
No.305145
what about all the ones who kill themselves, "builds character" lmao
No.305146
I have actually come to the opposite conclusion that I need to be in a good mood to be productive and resilient towards life's problems. I still think the zone of optimal development thing is the best explanation. People need to suffer but only as much as they can handle and too much or too little is not good. The improvebrahs can romanticize suffering because their actual life is comfortable so more suffering will push them to grow. People like us don't need any more suffering. We should first try to feel better first before we can grow.
>Struggle can force growth when there’s support, safety, and room to process what happened.
Yeah isn't good support network the number one variable inversely related to mental illness or something? No meds or therapy exists for having a shit life lmao.
No.305147
Same normalfags think bullying builds character too and doesn't just break people and turn them into hollow shells.
No.305186
>>305145Ah, *that* kind of character - Goethe's Werter character!
nah, i'd go f
No.305269
Anon, Elon Musk, one of the greatest man, has been bullied his whole life and is a lolcow, and every clowning on him makes him more popular. Bullying can be a gift.
No.305270
I don't like it when people say that because in my case it just made me numb and less able to connect with people. Not even that I mistrust them or whatever, I don't really dislike them either, it just feels like I no longer have it in me to crave any type of approval or anything similar to that. I think that if I didn't struggle as much as I did as a kid that I'd probably have turned out differently, more compassionate than I am today. That is not really to say that I'm unable to feel compassion, but I've just reached a point where I'm not actually feeling these things and being aware of it anymore, it feels like I'm reacting to something else instead of me actually having some type of recognition of the fact that I'm feeling remorse or anything towards someone. It's weird to describe and explain, but pretty much I don't feel as I did in the past, seems like instead of me having a set of emotions I can actually differentiate from other emotions and being aware, I'm instead just not feeling like I can be aware of these things, but instead I display it as though it affects me, and it definitely does, but I'm not aware of it as I might have been before. I'm not sure if I can blame it exclusively on my past, I'm also on medication which I've been on for some time now and that could also be the reason as to why I feel like this. But I was also more or less the same back when I wasn't on medication.
No.305272
The phrase "suffering makes you stronger" has an implicit assumption: you're already strong, i.e., you can find meaning in your suffering by deeply analysing it and using it for your own observation and improvement, not a material form but a spiritual or psychological one, like understanding the causes behind someone's behaviour and not taking it personal.
Recently I was watching a yt channel where the youtuber was ranting about her life and she was unable to watch herself but as a victim: everyone was mean to her "just because"; but she couln't analyse her own behaviour which, in fact, was the common factor to all of her social problems. Another people might not feel as a victim but neither they can analyse their past, they will just… bear with it, not in the sense that you don't give a shit but in the sense that you deserve all the shit people throw at you. You can cultivate resentment, low self-esteem or personal growth, that is up to you.
No.305275
>>305272you make important omissions.
first, babbling is a part of the process of "figuring it out'. of course, if you don't put a conscious effort into it, you'll just be babbling forever, but even if you *do* put effort into it, you will still babble until you "figure it out".
second, it's not really "up to you". what is up to you is how you use your "good time". by "good time" i mean periods when your brain functions ok. but if most of the time your brain is NOT operating ok, then you can't "figure anything out"
No.305281
>>305269>Anon, Elon Musk, one of the greatest man, has been bullied his whole life and is a lolcow, and every clowning on him makes him more popular. Bullying can be a gift."Oh we11! Th3y bu11y me a lot! Which 54y5 a 1ot about my achievwments" card requires knowing how pull it right e.g. kn0wing your rights
No.305309
>>305123You do not grow stronger by suffering, you grow stronger by overcoming hardship and difficulty. This can very well be done without suffering, though unfortunately most people wouldn't bother to do so until it starts to cause them harm.