/dep/ - Depression

People like to say suffering “builds character” or “makes you stronger,” but that idea is only half true at best. Struggle can force growth when there’s support, safety, and room to process what happened. Some people do come out of hardship with deeper empathy, resilience, or clarity about what matters. But that growth isn’t automatic, and it’s not owed to the pain itself. Often it comes despite the suffering, not because of it, through reflection, help from others, or sheer luck in having the resources to heal.

Just as often, suffering doesn’t strengthen someone at all; it wears them down. Chronic stress, trauma, and loss can rewire the brain toward fear, numbness, or hopelessness. Instead of “character,” you get anxiety, depression, mistrust, or burnout. Saying suffering is good for you can quietly invalidate people who were harmed by it and never got the chance to recover. Pain isn’t a forge that reliably produces stronger people, it’s a risk. Sometimes people adapt and grow, and sometimes they’re left carrying damage that was never fair to ask them to endure in the first place.