No.307520
Yes, you get it right. I'm only 28 but I'm deteriorating at a higher level and it is absolutely horrible.
Normalfags don't seem to be bothered by their mortality and how painful this process will be, they just go around claiming suicide is bad and life is a gift.
To me being able to choose over my own body is what matters the most.
No.307523
>>307520Life for them is not as painful as it is for you.
No.307524
>>307523Well it takes basic empathy skills to understand that life is not a single player game, rejoicing while someone else is suffering is the highest level of evil.
No.307525
>>307524Nobody said anything about rejoicing. Empathy is in short supply though. People have neither the time, energy, or emotional intelligence/bandwidth for the sufferings of others.
No.307530
I'm terrified of dental problems because of how fucking expensive they are. It's like $1500-2000 for a filling and cap. Which as a NEET is completely unaffordable.
No.307573
>>30751930 here, my body is rekt and I plan on hanging myself
>>307521I find it strange the Buddha spawned a religion. He seems more a similar figure to the stoic senator Seneca and Emperor Marcus Aurelius.
>>307524I wish I wasn't aware of higher levels of evil
No.307574
>>307573>my body is rekt what's wrong?
No.307575
>>307524>>307573Good and evil are human constructs. There's no morality independent of mind.
No.307576
>>307575Torturing consciousness is a replicable, scientifically demonstrable, evil deed
No.307578
>>307575Go back to reddit, godless abomination.
No.307579
>>307576>Torturing consciousnessNo such thing. Plenty of wizards happily.
>scienceA human construct based on blind faith in axioms.
>>307578Lol
No.307721
>>307575If you start thinking like this then all human ideas like physics, evolution, atheism are just human constructs not independent of mind.
No.307722
i for one feel good because i eat raw plants and call your food candy, i exercise, i skate, i meditate, i sunbathe, i read, i build my own furniture. while you suffer i am mildly optimistic. being healthy is worth it, your mouthpleasure can't compare to loving your body and it loving you back.
my body is literally a machine that loves me and i take good care of it.
also just stop being depressed, it's possible once you stop insisting on it so hard.
No.307823
>>307574I have brain issues, I hear voices, nightmares, insomnia, involuntary jerks of limbs, feel delusions creeping in, it's all over
No.307833
>>307823>it's all overwhat is the next type of exercise you wanna try, tough guy
No.307835
33 here, soon to be 34. Yep it sucks. My knees are starting to hurt from labor jobs, brain fog, even forgetting how to spell words and the names of places I once knew well 10 years ago.
That and watching family die around you and just how you're treated as a loner at this age.
The worst part is that being solitary for so long has damaged my psyche permanently. Emotions are muted and dopamine I used to get from activites in my 20s is no longer there, nothing to look forward to, not even food.
It's easy to think in your 20s that your 30s as a wizard is just a repeat, or that you'll magically find the will to kill yourself. Let me tell you as you age that concept becomes terrifying as you feel the pain of your mind and body breaking down, as does your resolve you had in your 20s to kill yourself.
No.307839
>>307833What? Your post doesn't even make sense.
No.307840
>>307839he's experiencing an episode be calm with him
No.307841
>>307519I'm only nineteen and already the decay has commenced. My back and neck hurts, my brain is fucked from years of anxiety and drug use.
No.307842
>>307839>What? Your post doesn't even make sense.you say "it's over" but that does not help you one bit. you know what does help a small amount? exercise, physical activity, physical expression; kid's even used to call this "playing" before there were video games who took everything over.
my post was asking what kind of physicality you wanna try next so you don't dwell on how enshittified things are.
No.307843
>>307841>I'm only nineteen and already the decay has commenced. My back and neck hurts, my brain is fucked from years of anxiety and drug use.you have decades of life left inside, find out how the healthy people spend their time. what do they do.
No.307844
>>307843figures you're an esl
No.307845
>>307842I am the guy with brain issues I am not the guy who replied.
If your serious I can only say that you are delusional how bad things can get. You are not going to walk off schizophrenia and epilepsy-like symptoms.
Once you reach a certain point of brain damage it really is over
No.307847
>>307845this is true. since the brain is the center of your world when it gets damaged too much you basically can't help yourself anymore
No.307856
>>307846Noice. Agreed. Advil exists for a reason. Grab a hot/cold beverage of choice and do it to it.
No.307876
>>307847yeah you're also delusional if you don't think this can easily happen to you with one bad drug trip or brain infection, alcoholism takes more time
voices, mini-seizures, insomnia, visual hallucinations, you're just rekt for life and antipsychotics do nothing but turn you into a drooling retard
No.307882
Just be healthy bro
No.307926
>>307845
>If your serious I can only say that you are delusional how bad things can get. unless i have seen dramatic regeneration while you have not.
>You are not going to walk off schizophrenia and epilepsy-like symptoms.i disagree twice with this.
1)trying to walk something off as a general attempt to self-healing might usually be in the top 5 ideas on what to try to make it better so what are you teacher's pet even talking about. you using your walking ability is the river that the city of your body was built next to.
2)what if there are ways to easily improve things, how will you behave? will you cross your arms and make mean faces insisting that this can not be possible like you always do? or will you be humble and give each reasonable idea it's fair chance to make sense. because otherwise when you say YOU ARE NOT GOING TO, how could you even know that if you display such arrogance and stupidity. there could be something you don't know about.
>Once you reach a certain point of brain damage it really is overagain i disagree with your arrogant assumption that you understand what is or isn't possible. you are ruling out the possibility that there is amazing stuff you simply have not found.
No.307931
>>307926>unless i have seen dramatic regeneration while you have not.Looking at rare cases of people crawling back from addiction or brain damage and ignoring most of them end up homeless, disabled or dead
>trying to walk something off as a general attempt to self-healing might usually be in the top 5 ideas on what to trycompletely delusional, you would tell someone which is having a seizure or with parts of their brain missing from an accident to "try taking a walk"
>give each reasonable idea it's fair chance to make senseI'm saying you are not reasonable
>i disagree with your arrogant assumption that you understand what is or isn't possibleIf what i'm saying is wrong, you should always be able to heal yourself no matter how damaged your brain gets, basically there is no "point of no return" according to you
You sound like a normie arguing in bad faith to be honest.
No.307943
>>307931He is a bad faith normie retard, the fact he hasn't been banned is rather disappointing, as he's shitting up a bunch of threads in different boards, or maybe it's all a little group of retards with nothing better to do, probably sucking each other in some gay ass discord server too.
No.307944
>>307943Maybe, either way I absolutely despise this "it always can get better" attitude, it is so far removed from reality.
This board is not for stuff like this. He should just fuck off.
No.307955
>>307944where in the spectrum between "it always can get better" and "it can never get better" should we focus our attention?
No.307960
>>307955"I can make it better if I try"
No.307962
>>307955it doesn't get better, you just get old and die
you don't avoid addiction, illness, injury, boredom, slow rotting, mental decline or struggling for resources, something just gets you eventually
if you manage to avoid the worst case scenarios, these kind of things become guaranteed to happen with old age
this board is also specifically for depressed wizards not some self-improvement forum for normies
I hope this clears things up
No.307967
>>307962>I can't muster the energy to make things better for myself, so I'm going to try to bring other guys down by saying that it can't ever get better for them. I will call anyone who disagrees with me a bad-faith normie invader larper while gatekeeping against anyone who isn't mentally a 6 year old succubusYour honesty is appreciated.
No.307968
>>307962im not rly trying to avocate improvement
i also don't think wallowing or self-destruction is the way either
maybe somewhere in between?
… acceptance and peace?
cus i'm with you, fuck trying to improve this; there is a limit and I can feel the threshold. I see it with my own eyes and know it within myself. It's no use.
I suggest abandoning all outdated neurotypical notions of happiness and redefine your own system from within. It's not gonna be the succubus or rising through corporate ladders and getting a nice car and house that does it for you. What even is "it" that you're so miserable about not having/doing/experiencing/feeling?
accept your sentence in this conscious existence. Maybe you're a loser and isolated in the old world you failed at. you failed and didn't you give up???
why are you still using the old system of measuring human success and worthiness and feeling bad about it?
I am getting sick and tired of my self pity.
No.307970
>>307967>acting as 13 years old succtry to meditate
No.307981
>>307519>tism schizoid CPTSD suspected by some psychs, didnt stick around for a full diagnosis>probably adhd >severe tinnitus>tendonitis in both hands, fingers, carpal tunnel, "tennis elbow">herniated discs in neck, thoracic spine and lumbar spine>polyneuropathy as a result with frequent numbness>eczema>teeth fucked>gastritis, ibs, hemorrhoids >mystery liver pain, probably fat-fuck-syndromeOnly at level 30 so far. Wish I could slowly come to terms with the end like
>>307521 mentions buddhism, but time and deaths closeness just drives my anxiety further.
I'll be honest and say one of the worst aspects of this is that there isn't anyone I can consider a nemesis or evildoer to avenge my lot or something.
Nobody to hate, can't even hate myself really. I consider myself a victim obviously, however lame and loserlike that is. Well I'm a loser so hey… it's in character.
Really though? I was already set on this path by the time I had any real "free will" or even cognition.
Ironically my first 4 memories are in order (all at age 2-3), me drowning, grandma dying, starving at home alone because my father wouldn't feed me and getting the shit beat out of me.
Further formative experiences ensued of course.
Can't hate them though since realistically they were fucked up by those before them too.
Can't quite blame myself either because I did what I deemed best based on my frame of reference at all points in life.
All is left is to hate all of creation I guess.
>earthly life is evil in every aspect.It's a whole evil current that drags you along like some fucked up spooky rollercoaster ride of agony.
Not to mention this is only about bodily degeneration.
How is one supposed to fight their own decay and their own demons when the world around you is even worse off?
I couldn't cut it during the good times, will I during the bad times?
Why even bother…
It seems like evil has clearly won and we are in some transitional period until the bureaucracy is done to hand us all off to the armies of hell.
No.307991
>>307967>There is always an option to improve your situation, things getting so bad it is beyond repair does not happen. All these wizards on /dep/ have the wrong idea and I must inform them.I can not say I appreciate your honesty. I wish mods would just ban or at least warn posters like this.
No.308059
im 29 and have been a lifelong chronically ill weakling. it's only gotten worse with time. the worst part is in theory i should be healthy chad, i was born to 2 attractive normies in their late teens. i just got bad rng
No.308130
>>307520Take care of yourself man im only a couple of years behind you and health problems are getting worse.If you dont eat healthy start now and exercise.
No.308131
>>308059well whats your lifestyle do you exercise,do you go outside,do you eat well.Do you live a sedentary lifestyle.You arent that old yet but you are gonna rapidly age if you dont take care of yourself.
No.308134
We're dying machines. We were made to exist so that we may die. Everything we do or don't do leads to death. It's only at death that our fate fulfilled.
No.308377
>>307521I think when my realisation of mortality hit was when I was in 5th grade, which is what our school called "senior school". 1/2 was Juniors, 3/4 Middle, 5/6 seniors. I distinctly remember being in 2nd grade and thinking to myself. "I'll never be in senior school" The concept of that many years passing by didn't register, I didn't internalize it in my mind quite like this, but it felt like I'd become 20 years old before I turn 7 years old and become a senior in school. I realized that time can just fly by when you look back despite the present taking hours for even 10 minutes to pass. I say this as I'm approaching 30 and my mindset is similar. I often think I'm 40, sometimes I think I'm still 20. I really don't get it. Most times I'm not under this spell and I know my real age, but it's still weird. I feel like Im the same kid at 5 years old nothing has really changed just added responsibilities and pain.
No.308396
>>307968I was responding to his complete denial things don't go really bad irreversible one day and it's inevitable. He sounded like a normie trying to enforce "the normie rules".