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File: 1485950218205.jpg (295.26 KB, 1402x1600, 701:800, b78b683f1728275971d40590f2….jpg) ImgOps iqdb

 No.33619[View All]

Has anyone read 5e's fucking Ravenloft?
Just some of the horrid shit in it:
>Strahd's played off as what amounts to Buffy the Vampire Slayer's Angelus levels of edge, literally feels nothing and seemingly has no interests above the usual, though not for the same Bram Stoker's Dracula tier reasons, Literally just wants Tatanya as if a meaningless trophy on his belt
>These dumb faggots made it so that Strahd wants to turn whatsherface not into a vampire bride, or hell, even a true vampire, BUT VAMPIRE SPAWN (You know, sniveling wall crawling nosebleed assface monster vamps?)
>Tatanya's a nigger
>The reincarnation is a nigger
>Strahd's wives are niggers
>Nigger Mayor of a town surrounding the land
>Evil white "everything is fine man"
>Strahd's a Bisexual sodomite degenerate with two male consorts to boot
>Made Barovians "Diverse"
>Made Strahd's conquering of the land sound tyrannical as fuck and less just
>Made it so that Some have Barovians have souls and some don't because of 5e's ravenloft being in a private demiplane, stopping newborn bodies from getting souls, in a piss-poor attempt to mimick the Old demiplanes of dread thing where some residents are literally just NPCs made by the powers, even though this makes no sense to anyone who's had to deal with Gulthias in 3.5 and Ashradorn in the whole Soul font thing with the ban on unborn souls in lore, so these people should be getting souls, because otherwise the demiplane would have to deny all positive energy for this shit to even remotely work
>All done because they're too lazy to redo the demiplanes of dread just like before,
>Strahd now heals for 20 in his fast heal
>Mongrel Men are the results of Racemixing past the half-race stage suffer for it, check their description and it's fucking played off as a good thing despite them being ugly mutants beyond redemption in their racial descriptions, the self-unawareness is real

This is why warhammer roleplay and castle drachenfels will always be superior
202 posts and 56 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

 No.63120

>>35312
It's been almost 5 years, but there's Cyberpunk RED now, which, I know nothing of except that it's made by CDPR following the release of 2077.

 No.63121

Warhammer has been getting pozzed the last 2 years. The franchise owner let's anyone do whatever they want with the license so there's a bunch of goofy kids video games now, and one with a female protagonist. Another one that was supposed to be good was Necromunda:A Hired Gun but it was a nu-wolfenstein tier flop as well

 No.63133

>>63030
I heard it used elements of later versions of D&D. I’d want to do pure old school

 No.63310

>>62796
Welp the DM just cancelled the session for the third time now, 3 weeks in a roll and the last game we had he finished the thing almost 2 hours earlier than normal. Nobody said anything so I kept my mouth shut but I really wanted to know what was the reason behind cutting the session short like that. The lack of enthusiasm for his own game is showing pretty bad at this point, I'm almost wishing for the next game to be cancelled as well so I can just quit.

 No.63346

File: 1669692192278.jpg (461.09 KB, 840x2000, 21:50, 1362470586214.jpg) ImgOps iqdb

>>63310
that's sad to hear wiz. As someone who's dm'ed before it's sometimes pretty difficult to keep enthusiasm up especially if you are running weekly. I think it takes a special kind to really run a game consistently, or at least most games I have played in fell apart. I have only really "completed" one campaign which lasted over 2 years IIRC and that was long ago.

You could perhaps try talking to the GM and ask if he has any gripes with what the player(s) are doing. but sometimes it's just a lack of zeal or changing life priorities. Still, I hope it gets better friend.

 No.63352

>>63346
It did get better, the cat went out of the bag past weekend when he sent a message explaining he's also running a game irl for his real life friends and keeping up with two games a week was too much. Then two players immediately quit the discord server, which was childish but kinda funny.

It was no surprise really, you can hear in a person's voice when one has stopped giving a shit. I understand, it's fine. I'm glad this is finally over, it's a little annoying when you try to psych yourself up for a game and then the whole thing gets cancelled over and over again.

I'm just not sure what I'll be doing as far as gaming goes now. I liked having a game going but just the prospect of lurking on roll20 and having to learn how to interact with a whole new group of people already feels pretty exhausting. Damn it.

 No.63353

i remember doing a virtual dnd session years ago and it was so fucking awkward and painful, everyone was clearly as autistic and socially inept as me and the fact no one had much experience really made it diffuclt. idk how people get back into roleplaying. everyone seems capable of it when they are kids but it's like we just grow out of it, even dogs seem to lose interest in playing and dog toys as they get older

i suspect for most people the solution is to be with your friends in a positive environment, no criticism. basically to place you with people you are comfortable with in an environment where there is no judgement. maybe im just not social enough and so this is why i play videogames instead. but i feel like im missing out of the creativity and imagination possible with tabletop roleplaying. i know single player stuff exists, but a big part of the fun from gaming seems to be the human factor, not knowing what the other player is going to do, anticipating and being surprised by their decisions

 No.63365

>>63353
it takes time, I would imagine especially for wizards to learn how to drop their guard so to speak. It took me like 6months or so back when I started playing shadowrun. It's a process that you just have to go through if you want to play and enjoy it outside the wargaming elements.

Granted nothing wrong with playing for the wargaming elements. it's part of the fun.

I think though it is much easier to play in text, rather than voice. but text is much slower. so it's a tradeoff.

 No.63395

where do you find friends/people to play with?

 No.63396

>>63395
roll20

 No.64551

anon who likes aquelarre, if you are still out there, i just find a link with all the books published untill 2022
https://anonfiles.com/n6k7e0D5yf/AKER85_rar

 No.64697

>>64551
I found another spanish. this one is called 1800. A steampunk game in the end of the world

https://anonfiles.com/jcMeKcR4y3/1800_rar

 No.64698

>>64551
>>64697
thanks for the virus

 No.64705

>>64551
Hey anon, yeah I'm still here. This is quite a find! I'll download it and read when my interest spike again. It's been a while since I've read any RPG books. I hope you're doing ok.

 No.64735

>>64705
thanks for asking. Im trying to learn how to draw to become an ilustrator. Just if someone wants to know the english translation of aquelarre was supposely published by chaosium, but the links were 404
https://www.chaosium.com/blogannouncing-aquelarre-the-best-rpg-not-available-in-english-now-available-in-english/

maybe they lost the rigths of the game

 No.64736

>>64735
That's nice. Way better than what I'm doing which is just reading shitty comic books. Also I tried hosting a game >>62974 but yeah, no responses at all and I ended up losing interest myself a couple of months later, so it all worked for the best I guess. Good luck with your endeavours!

 No.64739

>>64736
I still need to learn how to draw. i want to learn the fundamental stuff, but perspective is a bitch. i Dont know how somebody can draw something just using his imagination. Give a try to 1800 too is a very interesting game. read Thorgal, is the best sword and sorcery comic i ever read

 No.64823

File: 1681092990360.jpg (138.67 KB, 825x825, 1:1, 6511.jpg) ImgOps iqdb

>>62974
>>64736
Theres another spanish game that you may like. Is an homage to the first edition of D&D. is called Adventures in the Mark of the East

>Adventures in the Mark of the East is a world brimming with adventure, legendary characters, monsters, dark dungeons, impregnable fortresses, powerful magic and all the other elements that make up the highest fantasy.


>The game is a retroclone of the famous red box of Dungeons and Dragons Basic, the first role-playing game that came to Spain by Dalmau with TSR, Inc.


>Being based on the first edition of D&D, material such as characters and/or adventures are compatible with this game which uses basically the same system as the old D&D with some subtle improvements from the original.


>Character creation, being based on the original system, maintains the same philosophy in the character classes such as Cleric, Dwarf, Elf, Explorer, Warrior, Halfling, Mage, Thief and Paladin.


>The fantasy setting is similar to the original system where each of the areas has its own particularity, Forest Kingdom is the typical medieval fantasy area, Ungoloz would be the powerful Norman empire, Visirtan with a clear Arab inspiration and Neferu that drinks from Pharaonic Egypt, as well as the bestiary where we can find the typical orcs, trolls, giants, dragons, liches, skeletons and all kinds of elementals. As for the combat system itself, there are the typical rolls for surprise and initiative, monster reaction, movement, combat sequence and attack, and depending on the adventurers' class, there are 3 different types of attack tables. In addition there are the tables of saving throws of the different classes of adventurers. Optionally you can use the critical roll and the critical rolls.

 No.64824

Is there no miniatures thread? Do you use this one?

 No.64837

>>64824
Use the catalog >>63795

 No.64877


 No.64885

>>64824
miniatures are for kids, hex and chit is for men

 No.64912

>>34879
What is the difference between age of sigmar and fantasy?

 No.64920

>>64912
Fantasy came first, its been around since the early eighties. In 2015 it got rebooted into Age of Sigmar, which is like fantasy but with more trademarkable names (Orcs vs. oruks) and weird-looking WOW-inspired space marine clones. Apparently the rules aren't very good and the lore is retarded, but some of the miniatures looks nice at least compared to 40k. I wouldn't know, I just collect the old rulebooks and sometimes play WFRP in chatrooms.

 No.64951

>>64920
Thanks. Now, what happened after the awakening of roboute guilliman until now?

 No.65445

Is anyone currently playing something? I miss the days we had a wizgroup that wrote their weekly sessions in another thread.

>>64823
Thanks anon, sounds interesting. I've been slowly going back to reading some RPG stuff with OSR material lately and it's kinda fun. Do you know an art book called Vermis I? Since you're trying to get into illustration, I think you would like to see that. I'm still waiting for someone from /tg/ to scan it and upload to the archive.

 No.65457

>>65445

you're welcome.I dont know that book but thanks to the recomendation.I be waiting for a spanish release to be posted in the site where i find the games i post, but i cant download it because i have a virus called Winbigdrip.life that dont let enter in almost any site and i dont know how to delete it.

 No.65458

>>65457
>Winbigdrip.life
What version of Windows are you using?

 No.65464

>>65458
Windows 7. In scared because i think the virus also infected the router of the neighbor, we share the internet bill, also this government laptop is not even mine, is from my brother, i can give it back to him with this virus on it. I swear this thing knows when i try to find a way to erase it because dont even let me enter in the antivirus sites and almost every site. Im scared of rebooting it because my brother have some important files in it, i dont want to screw it trying to do that

 No.65466

>>65458
Adware which redirects to that site when trying to browse normally.
>>65464
Download an antivirus installer with a separate machine, load it on to a USB drive, and install it in the infected computer while it is not connected to any internet.

 No.65467

File: 1685848018618.swf (11.66 MB, MSEInstall.exe.swf)

>>65464
Alright anon, let me see if I can help you out. For Windows7 you can use Microsoft Security Essentials which is more than enough to take care of a browser hijacker such as Winbigdrip.life. Maybe you never installed it in the first place and that's why this happened.
I downloaded the installer for you from Microsoft's website. You'll download this annexed file and then remove the .swf from the filename. The reason I put it there is so I can upload an .exe file to wizchan. You'll download it and run it. MSE will probably identify a bunch of viruses and whatnot, you follow the instructions and quarantine them all. Next you'll reset your browser to default settings. Let me know if you have any problems.

 No.65468

>>65467
thanks for the virus scanner

 No.65472

>>65467
Thank you for helping me with this. In using a cracked windows 7. Is there any danger for my brothers files or for this laptop?

I tried with rouge killer and 360 antivirus, but this thing is still here.

I also tried with adw cleaner but the virus knows thats an antivirus so he cuts the connection every time i try to instal it.

The virus dont redirect me to a fake advertise, only shows an error of privacy, and sometimes and buch of numbers in the upper part of the browser

 No.65474

>>65472
There's no danger in using Microsoft Security Essentials even on an illegal copy of win7, give it a try. I don't koe rouge killer or 360 antivirus but Winbigdrip.life is just a browser hijacker, it's not serious. You'll lose your cache and browsing history though because to remove this thing completely you'll have to reset whatever browser you're using to default settings. If you have any important passwords saved on your browser you'll have to save them somewhere else.

 No.65480

>>65474
I dont know if i istaled it correctly, because it says, Virus and spyware definitions couldnt be updated, every time i try to use it. I have the same connection error when i tried to instal malwarebytes. i fear this thing also infected the router of the neighbours, because my sister cant enter to certain pages using her phone.

 No.65522

I'm having a hard time finding a table in roll20, most are for 5e. I found this guy, said he'll be running a game using the system I'm currently interested in but he's so damn incompetent. It's been 5 weeks he's looking for players yet he didn't fill out the schedule, didn't write a synopsis or anything about what he'll be running other than the system itself, if it's a module or an adventure he wrote himself, if it's an one-shot, a campaign, nothing at all. He didn't upload any maps to the game either, no discord contact given so I don't know if he'll be using the shitty voice thing on roll20 or what. This thing has red flags all over it. Assuming he can even find 2 more players I doubt this thing can survive more than 2 sessions. God damn it.

 No.65586

>>65474
>>65480
Sorry for keeping you waiting, but the internet was cut for 11 days. I already confirmed that the problem is on the router because I try to visiting the same sites with my bam and I didn't have any problem. I don't know what to do because the router is in the neighbour's house. Is there any method of deleting a virus in a router.

I swear this thing is getting smarter day by day. He can cut the connexion every time I search for a way of getting rid of it. Rigtrh now this shit don't let me enter in google, even if I was watching the video a moment before, so I will have to wait until I can post this.

 No.65619

File: 1687552703173.jpg (283.46 KB, 540x786, 90:131, 1.jpg) ImgOps iqdb

Found a group to play AD&D with. Our session zero ended just now. We basically talked a little about the game and made some characters. It was mostly ok, I think this group is solid enough that we can complete an adventure before things fall apart. DM is a family man and is probably using the RPGs as escapism from wife and kids, but I don't know. Could hear the kid nagging at the background a couple times, kinda funny. He's decent, can describe a scene and know the rules but loves to come up with new prices for stuff in order to make it "a realistic economy" but imo it's just annoying and changes nothing.

One of the players is a complete noob, which is fine. He made a character with a comical name inspired by Monty Python and that was a little concerning, I'm in it for a serious game and the other guys seem to want a serious game as well. We'll see. Another player seems to know what he's doing but kept complaining about "micromanagement" the inventory and stuff like that. As if ticking one torch off after x turns is micromanaging something. Obviously he wants to have infinite amount of arrows, torches and rations and is testing the grounds to see if the DM will turn a blind eye on the issue. I hope he doesn't. The world only feels realistic and immersive if your food runs out, your torches burn away and your arrows break.

Third player kept asking about darkvision of several monsters and every time the GM asked "why, you want to play as creature X?" he would say no, that he's just curious about it. Now, it's obvious he's looking to play some weird creature. He made a million questions and in the end made no character, said he's going to work it out before next session, which means he's going to hit the books and try to sneak a flying mutant with a breath weapon past the DM.

So all in all a very average DnD group.

Anyway, I just rolled 3d6 in order and ended up with a mage. 3 hit points. I'll have to play smart here and be cowardly otherwise my character is doomed.

 No.65621

>>65620
It's pathetic that you wizards feel that answers like these are actually worth your silence, or despair. You guys know your posts are max quality when crabs like this one get roasted.

Mock this piece of cattle. It might even lift your energies

 No.65622

>>65621
>It might even lift your energies
Hardly, friend. If you take the time to dignify with a response every derelict and slow-witted buffoon that wanders inside our /hob/ domain, this place will take a turn for the worse. Only those with wizardly words should fetch a wizard's response. It's how we keep the best board the best.

 No.65627

Shooters or tabletop, playing online games with guys who have had sex does not make the wizard a normalfag. Tabletop is part of hermetic male culture, and the opportunity to indulge in a bit of roleplay should not be discarded on the grounds that one of the participants has children he'd rather not be around at the time of play. Maybe if you assholes got online more, Wiz here wouldn't have to settle for a bard who only knows the Paw Patrol theme song

 No.65628

>>65626
I wouldn't play with a DM that's a redditor with kids and a wife. He is probably a failed normalfag or something.
>>65627
>Maybe if you assholes got online more,
Yes because wizards have nothing better to do than to be online and socialize with you so you don't feel alone playing with normalfags.
Back to reddit.

 No.65661

File: 1688163949295.jpg (421.91 KB, 539x805, 77:115, doors.jpg) ImgOps iqdb

>>65619
Just had my first session after a very long time without playing rpgs. Going for an ADnD game was probably the right choice. People showed up at the game today, 3 guys, two characters each, a main and a backup, and not a single one of those characters had anime avatars, which is something you wouldn't think you need to take it for granted but there you go, these are the times we live in. I noticed for the past few years it's fairly common for at least one person to bring a really goofy anime avatar to the table. I don't mind manga and anime myself but that's like bringing a renaissance painting of St. George to your Dragonball game or whatever. It just doesn't fit, unless you're going for anime-specific type of thing. Showing up in a sword and sorcery or a high fantasy Tolkienesque game with Goku as an avatar is just a complete lack of common sense and basic courtesy to everybody else at the table. If you're playing with serious roleplayers at all worth their salt be warned, everybody is now wanting to murder your ass and then kick you out. Here we are wanting to meet Gandalf the Gray in a muddy, stormy night on The Prancing Pony and you show up as a fucking fairy with a Touhou avatar.

But that didn't happen, which I attribute in part for this being an ADnD game. People playing that tends to be older. This group in particular, by voice and some of the stuff I heard about they talking is probably a bunch of 40 yo olds, a couple of them maybe even older and showing up with anime stuff is usually something younger people do. Anyway, everybody had appropriate imagery, which is always a good sign, it means the group is more or less going for the same atmosphere. One of the guys (the noob player) had an elf that looked like from wow or something and that was the goofiest one at the table. Very acceptable. I have a couple of pictures from one of the splat-books. When in doubt, always go for the art of the book you're playing.

So we get to this small town and start to ask for any rumors, fishing for some plot hooks and the DM tries to have us in a bar fight. That was way too common so we backed off, talked around with locals and found out those ruffians were also committing petty crimes at such an such road. Basically some low level brigands. So we get lucky with a sleep spell, ambush and arrest them without having to kill anyone.

Then the paladin wanted to know if any of the criminals had wife and children and one of them had. So he dragged us to the dilapidated house where they live to inform the wife her husband would not be returning because we arrested him and then gave her some money to help with groceries lol Typical paladin shit, props to the player for knowing how to play one. It turned out this was some crazy bitch and as we were leaving stuck a crossbow outside the window and shot the paladin in the ass. We ended up arresting her too. The 16 yo son ran through the alleys behind the house and we couldn't find him. I'm sure that's going to be problem soon.

Then we had a 20 min discussion about horse speeds and caltrops. All in all an average, enjoyable game session. We'll be visiting the graveyard soon, there's a corpse there with a key we need.

 No.65662

>>65661
>People showed up at the game today, 3 guys, two characters each,
never knew people play as more than one character at the same time, cool

 No.65663

>>65662
The old modules can be brutal and we're probably playing one for 6 to 8 players. I'm guessing that's the reason for the DM to have us show up with 2 characters each. It was either that or waiting to find more people on roll20.

 No.66956

File: 1703084187168.png (154.81 KB, 683x884, 683:884, 123.png) ImgOps iqdb

Our first adventure for the campaign is over. All in all I had fun. It's a little too combat-oriented for my taste but I can't really complain. The players were a somewhat flaky for the first couple of months but now everybody has been showing up consistently. It was a very run-of-the-mill adnd adventure, I can tell the DM just did a few tweaks here and there and based most of the thing in a published module. Again, I'm not complaining, that's the game. I lost my barbarian character out of sheer stupidity on my part but his death was cool (he was buffed by a couple of spells so I managed to kill two monsters at -2 HP before the char finally dropped, it was funny). We'll be exploring a more urban environment next adventure (I'm guessing it will be in and around the capital, we'll see).

As for my general mood towards tabletop gaming it's awkward, the night before and all the way up to the start of the session I feel like I don't want to play this shit anymore and I'm ready to quit and never talk to those guys ever again (they're fine btw, it's strictly gaming talk) but then, during the game and afterwards, I feel like this is really fun and I hope there will be more of it in the future. It's the eternal struggle between having to use a mic and deal with real people but also knowing tabletop gaming beats any type of game due to its virtually infinite possibilities and freedom of choice. Video games feel like connect the dots compared to it, even though I'm fond of several video games myself, it's hard not to see the difference when you play both.

The adventure ended very well btw, we beat the big bad, found the old treasure and returned safely to the duke's domain (the guy who hired us). Myself and two other players lost one character each and another guy lost 2. I felt like the DM might have pulled some punches in a couple of encounters in order to avoid a TPK but oh well, maybe he realized the fight was too hard a little too late and had to correct with some fudging. It happens.

We'll see how it goes from here.

 No.67159

File: 1706549940117.jpg (431.74 KB, 1000x608, 125:76, Gelatinous_cube_1e.jpg) ImgOps iqdb

>>66956
So two of the players quit today due to irl reasons, or so they say. Now it's only two players, myself and another guy, and the DM. I don't know what we'll be playing now but two players is not that great. Specially because me and the other guy are too comfort with silence, so we're running the risk of having one of those gaming sessions where nobody says anything and the thing keeps grinding to a halt. We need a third player but the DM said he prefers to adjust instead of risking fishing for another dude in roll20. I don't know, I would personally risk bringing in a new guy but fuck it.

Where do I even stand on tabletop games at this point. I've been enjoying a couple of video games as of late but deep down I can feel how empty they are and tabletop is the only type of game that still scratches that itch for fantasy. I might go back to reading books again and ditch video games, keeping the tabletop rpg as my only gaming outlet, we'll see. Also I've been posting pretty much alone itt for the past 3 years, is anybody even playing anything? Hard to believe I'm the only one.

 No.67160

>>67159
playing games with other people is too hard. i feel like the part of me that could imaginatively engage in play with other people died as a kid. the best i can do is watch other people playing

 No.67161

>>67160
If you have any interest at all for this hobby give it a shot. It's so much better than video games in a lot of ways. It's also a lot more fun than just watching other people doing it. I guarantee people posting their gaming sessions on YouTube doesn't make for an accurate picture of how things go in most groups. People on YouTube use cameras and generally know each other irl, so those groups are a lot more socially inclined and socially apt. Most times online RPG groups are made of introvert nerds and chances are there is always going to be 1 or 2 guys out of 5 that speaks maybe 10 words in a 3 hours session, so don't worry about having to talk much, or at all during most of the session.

All you have to do is show up on time and knowing what your character does. If you're playing for the first time make a fighter/barbarian and when it's your turn in combat simply attack the nearest foe. You just roll 1d20 to see if you hit and if you do roll damage. That's it. Keep hacking those monsters and the other players will be happy to have you.

It's really not hard at all. And if you don't like it for whatever reason just say you can't show up anymore due to irl stuff and quit, that's what everybody does.

 No.67405

File: 1708992069517.jpg (89.9 KB, 479x697, 479:697, rpg.jpg) ImgOps iqdb

So yesterday we continued going deeper into dungeon number 182347819234. One of the characters got stabbed in the eye. Another guy had his hair melted. We found another secret door, and then another one. Investigated a statue, then a chest. Then another statue. One of the corridors had a trap in it. We disarmed it. Dispatched some monsters, I think it was Goblins (we began a new campaign, everybody is lvl 1 and 2). None of them had anything of value. They tried to flee but we shot them. Gruesome. Etc, Etc, Etc, Etc, Etc.

Seems like I’ve grown fond of disdaining this game. I only like it halfway through a session when I manage to immerse myself in that absurd situation. A bunch of mercenaries going down a cave just because it’s there. A monster under a flagstone spits acid in your friend’s face. There’s a room you can only access from the ceiling, and it’s an abandoned butcher’s shop. There are human carcasses pinned to the walls. Sausages made of human flash in a box, everything is rotten. Nothing quite makes sense, it’s dream world, it’s the escape through the absurd.

I keep saying to myself I’ll quit next week but I don’t. The GM and the other player are pretty committed to the game, it’s amazing. They never show up late, they never cancel, they’re reliable. If I quit I’ll never find people like that ever again to play with. I’ve been around in online rpg communities for many, many years now. Those guys are the crème de la crème. Believe me, I know. I can’t just ditch the game. So I go on. Dungeon number 182347819235. Oh no, some corrupted abomination lurking around the corner. Corner number 239572539820395. Secret door. It’s the 234235235th one. We kill whatever it was, it’s dead now. Some treasure. The mage will carry it, he won’t get encumbered and he won’t die in the front line too far for the others to loot his body. The duke is impressed with our efforts. Or was it the captain of the guard? Or was it the king? Someone important. Plot guy number 239485. You can create millions of corridors with the click of a button. Millions, billions of corridors. Castles and dungeons and inns, sprawling by the billions, enough to fill the entire universe several times. We keep going. Another character gets stabbed in the eye. He’s blind now, we’ll need a new character. Let’s get some horses. And a torch bearer.

It’s the Gm’s birthday. He bought himself another old module from the 80s as a birthday gift. He’ll appropriate the maps and some of the monsters for his next adventure. Those corridors will show up eventually, indistinguishable from the other corridors. A copy of a copy of a copy. A secret door leads to a secret room. More treasure. One of the monsters fell into a trap and it’s starving inside a hole. We throw a morsel at it. The duke is very impressed with our efforts. No, it was a grand duke. A monster negotiates his life for the location of secret loot. There are more secret rooms than regular rooms in half these places. A bunch of rings. A hand still attached to them. Half of them cursed, we tried one anyway, for fun. Curse of never ending urination. The guy who lost his eye now has to cut his finger or he’ll dehydrate and die. We pocket the dead hand with the rings. The grand duke is pleased.

Me, the Gm and the other player keep it going. We meet once a week. Do they despise the game like myself but fail to quit? I don’t know, but we never miss a session, ever. Nobody is ever late. Slowburn dungeon crawl. Then a chase. More skeletons, more goblins, more dragons. Our imagination is a machine pumping out corridors for monsters to lurk in. Treasure inside a chest. There’s a trap, we disarm it. We almost never do small talk. When there’s small talk it’s about tabletop games. What the fuck normal people talk about? All I ever talk about with other humans seems to be about tabletop games. We talk about monsters. We talk about magic properties of made up weapons. We talk about other stuff, made up stuff, more stuff we read somewhere in a module nobody cares about anymore.

It’s mind numbing. Yet I can’t quit. Maybe it’s because it’s my only source of social interaction. I don’t want to disappoint my fellow players. They have put too much work into this. If I quit the game dies. GM said he’s creating a second pantheon. You know, for that parallel dimension from that game 8 months ago. Now that’s cool, I guess. I can’t kill his enthusiasm, so I help him organize an excel sheet with all that nonsense. Cool garbage.

Sometimes when I’m playing, I find myself in an intermediate state between sleep and awakeness. Running inside infinite corridors. Infinite monsters, the absolute and tyrannical rule of cheap imagination. Billions upon billions of magic swords. Another big bad croaks. A hundred more lines up. We roll new characters. 16 charisma!

End of game. Everybody is happy. ‘See you guys next week, take care!’ Yup, you too. The tyranny of cheap imagination continues. More corridors. Corridor number 239850236. Sure I had fun but it feels like we’re trapped inside a Kafka novel. We’re committed to playing this game because we have been playing so long. The fun diminishes but it never reaches zero. It can diminish forever without making us quit. It feels like we’re building towards something… then you actually look, there’s nothing there but millions of made up corridors, millions of made up dead. 3 guys building a communal fairy tale whose only goal is to churn out corpses and corridors. We’re far too deep into it. But then you look back, there was never anything but a surface. Fucking game. And there’s more next week. I won’t cancel it, nor will anybody else. And somewhere inside I know I’ll miss it when it ends.


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