No.314179
>>314169… I remember having passed out from drinking my own piss, a challenge some pretentious goofers, so-called 'wizards' that thought I was so cowardly as to refuse their challenge. Victorious or not, I must now rise from my sofa that now barely manages to contain my fat, a blubber that was too big to be considered human. Too big, too thick, too heavy, and too rough, it was more like a big pile of humanoid meat; and calling it a whale's human form would be a vast understatement.
No.314186
When suddenly, a cassowary entered my room. It was like living proof that dinosaurs are deadly yet beautiful creatures with feathers. "Do not fear dissapointment" said the cassowary "Karma has been unkind to the ones you've loved despite having them shower you with expectation and radically subjective ideals" I cried happy tears, knowing such a deadly creature could understand me instead of succumb to its instincts. "Thank you, mighty cassowary, my heart feels whole again" I said.
No.314338
The cassowary taking notice of my Dorito encrusted fingers pecks hungrily. I humbly oblique, "Free maid service? why not?" I state even though I was saving those Dorito crumbs for a snack. Such a wonderful and glorious creature, truly misunderstood. The cassowary pecks every molecule off my sausage fingers, then turning its head, looking upon my sofa it sees the its prize, an unopened crushed Dorito bag, which I had in fact earlier passed out on…
No.314630
The cassowary starts rummaging its beak, now dirty with dorito, inside the crushed Dorito bag, searching for something. As I watch it, I realize that something is off. Have cassowaries always worn such beautiful shoes? Before I can return to my questions about avian fashion, the cassowary pulls something out of the dorito bag and delivers it into my round hands