/lounge/ - Lounge★

I dont know. I dont know who or what i am. There is no independent self. There is just an observer, a mask cant be put on or off. The meatbag reacts how it must under whatever conditions it is in

>>317824 (OP)
I never put on a mask because I dont believe in being a liar and pretending to be someone that I'm not.

>>317826
I think OP means being withdrawn and not sharing anything about yourself with other people, rather than pretending to be someone else. When you have almost nothing in common with normalfags, you can only talk about the most generic stuff like the weather, food, recent events, etc. You avoid revealing anything about yourself for reasons that should be obvious to a male virgin. You go on like this for too long, and the NPC becomes your second nature, and even overwhelms your true self, to the point where there is very little left of your personality. That's how I relate anyway.

>>317824 (OP)
>What to do?
I wish I knew, wish I could open up before people, but there is too much spaghetti in my pockets.

>>317826
>I never wear protective gear when striding through poisonous vegetation and thorns because natural is best.

>>317824 (OP)
Methodical recording of what I am (right now) and what I need to be in public. I have a wall full of laser engraved plaques and calligraphy which I took time to make look nice to trick the subconscious into recognising as important, and also tried to put some eloquence into it so that my conscious mind can remember and articulate it more reliably.

For example:

"You are deformed and damaged from birth, little is expected but is required of you, do not expect others to participate in your delusions, do not take on more than you can reliably accomplish."

This is literally the first thing I see every morning. With that as the baseline I determine what needs to be done on a given day and usually have a formal checklist or memento statements to get myself into the right mind set relative to said baseline.

Further, "Not everyone can be attractive, but everyone can be tidy", so that if I have to go out, as a rule I dress up to the formal shirt, trews and tie level so that people subconsciously interact with The System instead of the deformed individual in front of them. Men are blessed such that "Wearing a bland shirt and tie" makes them fade into the psychological background.

As for taking it off, the reverse works well - dress down to a dirty old hoodie and slack trousers, take a long shower to physically reset the body and literally wash off the grime of the outside world, and make a conscious choice to accommodate my deformities and shortcomings.

15 odd years of practising this and I can apparently pass enough for normal with only a bit of excess tiredness at the end of the work day.

Both the mind and body can be influenced by the environment and incoming signals, this is just basic applied psychology - but you have to *know* it and determine where your signal and noise levels are to make use of them. Willpower and intelligence alone without making use of tools to manipulate the self is for ascetics.

>>317826
Good luck trying to survive on the spectrum with this attitude in countries without neetbucks.

I'm forced to put on a social mask and learn how to maintain it so I don't starve to death.