>>325118>get put on clozapine because of "religious delusions"Explain the character of these religious delusions. Do you still suffer from them? What caused the clinician you were seeing to diagnose you as schizophrenic? Did you feel at the time the diagnosis was fair and correct (assuming you were coherent)?
>get told if I miss two doses I need to be re-titrated onto it, in the assiduous care of the psych ward no lessThis is clinically untrue. There are no specific medical grounds for having to readjust dosage of an antipsychotic drug in the simple event of a few missed doses. They just want to frighten you into staying on your medication. This reminds me of general practitioners brainwashing their patients with the line: “SSRIs don’t start working unless you’ve been taking them for six weeks minimum…” which is of course complete bullshit as the drug works immediately to alter healthy brain function and the continuous taking of it is just to cement the dangerous profile of effects.
>crash hard (felt like my whole body was shutting down)This is normal when missing regular dosing periods or withdrawing from heavy prescription drugs. I’ve experienced this crashing when withdrawing from both SSRIs and opioids. It feels like your whole body is dying; it is profoundly frightening. But withdrawal from antipsychotics and antidepressives is even more hellish than withdrawal from opioids as the chemical compounds found in these drugs do not have any true organic analogues in nature (like opioids do with poppies for instance). What this means is the human brain has no hereditary precedent for coming off of these classes of drugs and so the matter of reestablishing normal neurological chemistry is even more painful and confused. The ideal of course is *not* to be on these drugs in the first place so that you don’t have to experience withdrawals; but if you have been put on them, to stop using them as soon as you feel you can.
Additionally remember that good nutrition is your absolute best defense in fighting things like akathisia and the generalized discomfiture incidental to withdrawal. You do not need to return to the poison in order to feel relief from the poison (if you understand my meaning). Rather you need to “drown” your brain in the right foods and vitamins, not more pills.
>report to the emergency after looking into what I should do, including contacting the pharmacist >end up spending two months in the psych ward while they put me on clozapine againHow does the one follow from the other? Why would you have been put back in the psych ward? I don’t understand.
>>There is no refill (the son of a GUN didn't even order for my prescriptions to automatically refill>in the meantime my community psychiatrist unilaterally schedules me to come in at the crack of dawn this morning without asking how that works for me (I have trouble waking up early especially on this crap) >I miss the appointment even though I pulled an all-nighter so I might make it there Explain all of this exactly to your doctor, just like you have here. You are not at fault. Do you have a rational understanding doctor?
>they got me by the balls.No they do not. In the case that you don’t have a rational therapist, remember there are patient representatives at all hospitals, make sure you seek them out and state the details of everything that has happened logically and calmly.