No.214202
At some point it dawned on me that I've never been desired by who I was as a person, just whatever skills I had to finish some job or favor, even from my own parents who were never satisfied with what I accomplished.
I feel the final extension of being wanted as a person is consensual sex, someone accepting your most primal desires without any money involved.
Now approaching 30, I feel I've fallen into a spiral where I've become an unlikeable weirdo because I've never been loved, and because of that loneliness, I become even more bitter and unlikeable.
I daydream at work all day about me being the center of attention, being loved, adored, admired for who I am, then snap out of it to resume my shift.
No.214357
>>214256the thread is about wizard acceptance, dipshit
No.215527
>>214205>the same thing occurs to everyone who thinks critically of his situationWhere? In the 3rd world? Most people love life.
No.215536
>>214202Man daydreams are what keep me going. I am still not a good wizard. I guess I can't fight my inner human enough to be a successful wiz. I just for once would want to like my life.
No.215538
>I feel the final extension of being wanted as a person is consensual sex, someone accepting your most primal desires without any money involved.
I agree with this, but at the same time I think it's a delusion the neuro-abnormal have developed since we lack the experience. I truly don't believe all those college retards that sleep around feel such a deep connection with every person they get drunk enough to fuck, but at the same time maybe we are just so mentally guarded that the idea you could trust someone so quickly isn't all that strange.
No.215541
>wanting to be "desired" by vagina subhuman parasites
>wanting to be "the center of attention"
lol I dont want and never wanted any of that shit, some Roastoid subhuman thinking about me or even knowing about my existence sends shivers down my spine and I really want the opposite, I want to be invisible to normalfags and leave as little traces of my existence behind as possible, preferebly none.
shit like "love" or "intimacy" are completely worthless to me and I see "feelings" like this as weakness and as an angle of attack.
But because I know about their Tricks I have never been backstabbed, never been betrayed and normalfaggots have zero power over me and their Tricks will never work on me. There is nothing they can do to manipulate me, they cant control me. normalfag opinions and words are irrelevant to me and my goals.
and thats what I'm truly after, I want to achieve total freedom from Normalfag subhumans and avoid them as much as humanly possible.
I dont need them and will never need them, interestingly this makes Normalniggers seethe and for some reason many of them still want my approval even if I antagonize them directly. I wont even acknowledge their existence and forget their names and faces asap. this makes Normalfaggots seethe.
No.215570
>I daydream at work all day about me being the center of attention, being loved, adored, admired for who I am, then snap out of it to resume my shift.
That's pretty brutal, bro. have you tried ever making friends. It can't be that hard. Just try to find people with common interests, hobbies, passions, etc.
No.215572
>>215541Okay anime antagonist-san. We’ll all leave you alone since you don’t need human interaction. Curious that you post here with the other humans though.
No.215573
>>215570Unironically the only people who also search out friends are also people who have lots of friends,groups, communities they are already established in and will think you're weird and creepy if you aren't like them
No.215574
>>215572…he specified at least once in every sentence 'normalfags', not humans
No.216551
Everyone here is pretty much on the same boat. What can we do but escape into fantasy worlds and consume.
No.217453
You are not alone, OP. Many wizards have gone through the same, I know it doesn't help but I am like you.
Yes, others will define who we become, the past, the trauma, the lack of affection from parents, the neglect, the lack of experiences, everything we've gone through basically but we can still enjoy life
No.217478
>>217453I'm the same as OP and relate to him.
No.217558
The sex thing isn't anything good. There's nothing there, really. Same with social proof generally.
Honestly, there isn't much in this world for anyone. It leaves much to be desired even if you "win" a game of dubious purpose that was set by a few rich assholes. The only thing that kept people going was some small piece of existence they could call "theirs" - and I say this not as a defense of property or selfishness, but something that suggested that there was even life and not whatever this is. I've always been happier in solitude than I was trying to "make friends". I'd be perfectly happy to have a few people I know just to maintain contact with the outside world, but none of these people are going to be my friend, and friendship isn't all that great. It would be enough to have some of those few be people I like enough to share things with. Over the years I've become very particular about wanting to eat alone, sleep alone, bathe alone (pretty obvious), and do many basic life things alone. If I were to do anything sexual, I would want someone who wants to be alone much like I do, except for that one thing and the consequences. I never understood why it had to be made into that much of a pain in the ass, but that's not the world we live in. The easy sex is not for most men anyway. That's only for a subset of men who have everything handed to them, who are selected early on for this. Everyone else is getting either a complete lie or something of dubious value with everyone breathing down your neck over more social obligations to people who have no intention to help anything. It's funny how "the right people" never face consequences and the rest of the world has to kowtow to that for no really good reason. But, it's not worth worrying about too much. I live alone, and tell others that loneliness is a better life. I can't raise a kid anyway, and most of the succubi aren't going to be good mothers anyway. I'd rather be more use to other peoples' kids by doing something to make this world a little more livable, damned fool that I am. Mostly I do this because people like us need the world more than any of these assholes who despoiled it. We're the only ones who really appreciate the world, I've learned.
No.219174
What have you tried so far?