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R: 47 / I: 2

succubi

It happened. Today, my boss approached me for sex in exchange for better hours at work. I quit. She was shocked, jaw open, that I did not want to have sex with her. I then handed in my badge and walked out to my car. I then had some mcdonalds, realized that my entire career up to this point has been nothing but expending myself for her, and I feel like shit. She already has 3 kids 2 dads and hasn't seen either in over five years. I seriously feel betrayed. We associated ("associate" as workplace relationships are not friendships) with each other for at least three years. I turn 30 in a few days, and have never ever. I have now realized, far too late, that I should have just gotten neetbux.

She also knows I'm nearing 30 so she texted me nudes (I won't share b/c ugly, like most femoids she is both hormonal and overweight) and trying to rope me into fucking her in her house, which is gross because I know her mom does dialysis in the same room but behind a wall divider. Also, she has multiple children running around. This is fucking disgusting, and the thought my penis in her filthy fucking hole makes me vomit. I can't even look at succubi anymore without thinking about it.
R: 2 / I: 0
I am trying to finish learning to drive so I can go foraging in places outside of major cities biking is fun but takes so long
R: 16 / I: 2

PEACE BETWEEN INCEL AND WIZARDS

Can be peace between the two communities? But are bunch of recluse older virgins, there are cool headed crab out there, back in the earlier internet crab forum days, wizard and crab are once and the same thing, but a split happen.
R: 82 / I: 17

Wikipedia Articles

Let's start with this interesting one I just found:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/YBC_7289


Previous thread: >>192836
R: 24 / I: 3

What is consciousness?

In most countries that permit abortion, the cut-off is at 24 weeks. The reason is as such:

>Consciousness requires a sophisticated network of highly interconnected components, nerve cells. Its physical substrate, the thalamocortical complex that provides consciousness with its highly elaborate content, begins to be in place between the 24th and 28th week of gestation. Roughly two months later synchrony of the electroencephalographic (EEG) rhythm across both cortical hemispheres signals the onset of global neuronal integration. Thus, many of the circuit elements necessary for consciousness are in place by the third trimester. By this time, preterm infants can survive outside the womb under proper medical care. And as it is so much easier to observe and interact with a preterm baby than with a fetus of the same gestational age in the womb, the fetus is often considered to be like a preterm baby, like an unborn newborn.


https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/when-does-consciousness-arise/

You put cum inside a succubi and 24 weeks later, it can self-experience. Literally, the universe has a new bud by which to experience itself.

My wizards, I have but two questions.

1. In the process of development, where did the consciousness come from?
Is an emergent property of complex neurology, like heat from a flame? Or does the brain develop enough complexity to attune to consciousness?

2. What is consciousness precisely?
Is it material or immaterial? When one is immersed in imagination, is that an extra-reality experience?

It is not like I come here to vomit my thoughts. These are topics I have tried to research on my own. Surprisingly, there is not even a concrete definition of consciousness to be found. Science hasn't even reached a consensus around defining it.

>About forty meanings attributed to the term consciousness can be identified and categorized based on functions and experiences. The prospects for reaching any single, agreed-upon, theory-independent definition of consciousness appear remote.


https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Consciousness

So wizzies, I'm having this experience of an internal life, as well as what I'm expected to believe is the perception of an assumed to exist external world. I also work under the assumption that other beings that look like me, and indeed several life forms that don't look like me, are also having, at the very least, comparable experiences (i.e. some degree of internal/external awareness). Despite this, it appears that we understand so little about this phenomenon that in 100s of years of study, we have yet to even define what it is, where it arises from, and what its intrinsic properties are.

Am I correct to state that consciousness is THE biggest mystery? I cannot think of anything else so fundamental that we know nothing about. It could be argued that the origins of the universe may be the biggest mystery, but it is understandable that we know next to nothing about a question that is perplexing as that. We're dealing with unimaginable magnitudes of time, space, and force. Most importantly, we were not there. We cannot witness the universe coming into origin, nor can we observe other universes coming into existence.

In comparison, we have daily, 24/7 experiential data with consciousness. It defines our existence and lives. We see consciousnesses of various types from various species coming into existence daily, numerous times every second. Literal teens can new ones, without a problem, inside and outside labs. Despite this, we have yet to even break the waters in terms of understanding it.
R: 15 / I: 0

the benefits of being alone

Consciousness has come to the point now where you know that you are alone. And only in aloneness can you attain enlightenment. I am not saying loneliness. The feeling of loneliness is the feeling that comes when one is escaping from aloneness, when one is not ready to accept it. If you do not accept the fact of aloneness, then you will feel lonely. Then you will find some crowd or some means of intoxication in which to forget yourself. Loneliness will create its own magic of forgetfulness. If you can be alone even for a single moment, totally alone, the ego will die; the "I" will die. You will explode; you will be no more. The ego cannot remain alone. It can exist only in relation to others. Whenever you are alone, a miracle happens. The ego becomes weak. Now it cannot continue to exist for long. So if you can be courageous enough to be alone, you will gradually become egoless.

To be alone is a very conscious and deliberate act, more deliberate than suicide, because the ego cannot exist alone, but it can exist in suicide. Egoistic people are more prone to suicide. Suicide is always in relation to someone else; it is never an act of aloneness. In suicide, the ego will not suffer. Rather, it will become more expressive. It will enter into a new birth with greater force.

Through aloneness, the ego is shattered. It has nothing to relate to, so it cannot exist. So if you are ready to be alone, unwaveringly alone, neither escaping nor falling back, just accepting the fact of aloneness as it is – it becomes a great opportunity. Then you are just like a seed that has much potential in it. But remember, the seed must destroy itself for the plant to grow. Ego is a seed, a potentiality. If it is shattered, the divine is born. The divine is neither "I" nor "thou," it is one. Through aloneness, you come to this oneness.
R: 18 / I: 3
I try to be a recluse, and relatives come and want to socialize with me. i hate that

My mom wants to move to be around more family members. i hate that prospect. i am thinking about becoming homeless to avoid this
R: 170 / I: 34

WIZARDS PERSONALITIES

https://www.outofservice.com/bigfive/

Post your Big Five personality test results, wizbros. I bet many wizards here have high neuroticism.
R: 20 / I: 1
Wizardhood price, for some, is too steep, I must confess in all honest I feel lonely, tired, and lost, I'm 29 old NEET that lives with my folk, and it's starting to wearing out me, maybe, just maybe I'm just in the deep a failed normie that yearning for the normie life, wizardhood price is high and is a brutal filter, truly you can larp as wizard for long, no way or another, you will feel the pressure, as I starting to feel, there's no redemption for me, wizardhood is brutal, you're a born to be one, become failed normie that can't deal with it and rope, or don't know what else.

Brutal, I just want everlasting peace from everything, life is just eternal struggle, for some they find joy and purpose from it, but for me it's just tiresome, there can't be not end to it, death is the only choice, for those that can endure it, good, for those that can't, I hope you can find peace too.
R: 57 / I: 7

SzPD Thread

We had a schizoid thread some time ago. I thought I'd continue it again because some of the conversation there was pretty interesting.

Basic intro… Schizoid != Schizophrenic.

Schizoid chan image will explain what it is in the next few posts here, but:

>Asocial

>Asexual
>Apathetic
>Anhedonic

I can see why normies would label it a 'disorder' (because it is considered bad by normie success metrics), but I don't think I buy that it's 'bad.' Do you think it's bad? If you consider yourself schizoid, is there something you're trying to do to 'fix' yourself?

Anyways, SzPD general, I guess.
R: 6 / I: 5

Once i was called Gilgamesh, ask me anything

Then Toutankhamon, Ramses II the third and recentely Rudolf Hess.
I've come as a fren to teach you something i learnt from this side of the veil.

said in simple term we're all fucked, i will explain why because i did not had my SS and my gestapo to make thing easy for me and i will go back to being the nobody for some time, problem is i've became a wizard in this life instead of going back to what we all must hope for, something radiant shining in the world around us, like great cities built by great men of charm and something beautifull like a good family and beautifull children.

i've seen the Black sun, i've lived trough the athmospherisation of the old king and pharaoh living in the after life and picked up my arms to battle against Humbaba the great and regained his sincerity to stop him rambling about all the alchemy treaty that are effective in all the secret society as well as the freemasonic lodges, they are all gay and nobodies know how to work.

in this thread i will explain as much in details as possible what i know, what there is to remember and all the great secret to be able to go sleep soundly in your tomb alive and go where you're not supposed to come back and if you do, it will only be because you failed to something something, because i would like to get you to know that i were the only one who did it correctly.

FIRST THING FIRST;
who the fuck is god and how does he do it ?
there is three things to know and remember, you are composed of trhee "lodge", your "pants", your "shirt" and your vertebral collumn comprising the skull.
the pants is the source of your visceral power, it is your sensual power, the tantric or your feminine side.
the shirt is your chest, the link uniting your masculine side (the vertebral column, erecting, masculine) phallic in essence and your head, which is supposed to rest on your shoulders and your priorities set. (what in life are important yada yada)
the vertebral column is your saturnian element, femininin in essence, it channel your tantrics through the body to energize the skull so he can resonate the right vibration to be in concordance with the greatest (humbaba) as well as all the great kings and pharaoh of immemorial time.

so, Humbaba the great or the Black Sun as we called it in my past live is essentialy the earth, he is composed of five things, his core mantle (his beating heart) the earth mantle his body, the ocean his blood, the sky his lungs and the electromagnetic frontier generated by his core mantle (the athmosphere) his spirit.

the sun in the sky is bhudda, the source of Raum.

the five elements of the black sun are the same as yours in your body, in the body we have five elements but to be able to master them you must have seen everything, done everything and said everything, so not much to do to see to say.

left leg is your little succubus, right leg is your little boy, your lower abdomen where your genital sit are where they make peace with themselves and live in harmony, the phallus the little boy and the prostate the little succubus.
left arm is your succubi, right arm is your man, the chest unite all the family and that where the peace within oneself is made, serenity through understanding that anything and everything that can be done, seen and said are not all things that are desirable. the head on your shoulder is supposed to be the sum of you dynastic force coming from all their shared experiences and knowledge but nobody is able to do it because physical bodies never last long enough and you don't need to learn everything yourself because humbaba the great or the black sun and all his "companion" either in the abysmall or populating the earth are supposed or are able to help you understand what the fuck we're supposed to do and why we can't do it because some niggers somewhere run or ruin everything for everybody all the time.
R: 65 / I: 4
it's boring being a NEET when you have 0 hobby or when the only hobbies you have are boring. at least hikikomori spend their days playing games all day. I don't play games anymore, I don't read anymore… I wish I was working but I know I don't like working (already tried) so I'm here ,browsing wizchan and watching videos on youtube and not knowing what to do with my life
R: 59 / I: 3
Do you believe in evolution? Please state your reasons.

I believe in evolution, but I've realised that I believe it because I read - same thing religious folks do. So it's pretty much a position taken on faith. So how does a layman prove to themselves that evolution is real?
R: 286 / I: 14

Chronic masturbators can't be wizards

masturbation and porn addicts are like normalfaggot alcoholics who critizice and look down on everyone who doesn't drink alcohol and partake in their vice because it's disgusting. Sex is disgusting and you're the crazy people for having sex and masturbating, not us.
Asexual pride
R: 29 / I: 2

Being hated

Anyone else find themselves pissing off everyone around them by mistake? People always blow their horn at me when I'm driving, cashiers loathe me on sight, every friend I try to make online ends up ghosting me.

I wish it was just a matter of beimg ignored. Instead, people loathe me before I even open my mouth.
R: 8 / I: 0

wizards cuncil

what a good wizard should know? what knowledge should he learn to survive in todays society and survive to normalfags? share your knowledge and enlight other wizards
R: 9 / I: 2

wizardchan is lost?

I made a thread on /b/: if you have friends, can you be a wizard, and I got two answers: one was no and the other one was, I guess, sarcastic so I guess it's a no too. this made my view of wizard crumble. I don't know who can be a wizard anymore. we still have young people coming to this site while it is not suited for them (30+yo virgin male) and yet we symtill need to define what a wizard is. I'm lost. what is a real wizard?
R: 28 / I: 4

Possessions After Death

How do you feel about dying and having people discover certain personal things like lovedolls, so called "illegal" porn, drugs or any other unsavory things?

I think I wouldn't care too much because I'd be dead, though I know it concerns some people.
R: 23 / I: 0

Real Hermit life

Where can I live a real hermit life? It needs to have an environment where a human can survive.
R: 133 / I: 11

When did your sex drive disappear wizards ?

Nearly 30 still have it way more than I’d like not on any anti depressants or drugs keep that in mind.

Do any wizards have advice or suggestions on how to not see or cave into my urges of jerking off
R: 46 / I: 3
Are you fat and ugly? What is the correlation between being a fat ugly neckbeard and being a wizard, how that stereotype came to be? It's funny that "popular" idea of the older recluse virgin is a fat ugly neckbeard and not a fit somewhat good looking dude.
R: 8 / I: 2

I love boredom

As I grow older, the more I realize I just love The Boring Life. As a kid I was filled with dreams of adventure, even into my teens and college, when most normies settle down to become doctors and accountants.

I just realize that excitement is just bad things or the risk of bad things happening. In movies they are generally able to escape those bad things.

There is a lot of putting down of guys who live their lives through fiction, fantasy, gaming. But imo that is where the excitement of life belongs, and where it can be safely enjoyed. but IRL you need to run from that.

yeah i want to be cautious, cowardly, beta, risk-averse. i realize for all the putting down of those traits, those are the good traits. and yeah your attention is drawn to the winners of the lottery, not the 99.9% who lose. and frankly as far as destructive risks go, the lottery is the least of them.

i mostly stick to stupid comedies. but anytime i watch a serious film, im just glad im watching it, not living it.
R: 2 / I: 0
bahahahahah! imagine being gay! I am not gay I am fantastic! -spins and twirls-
R: 41 / I: 4
Wizardbros… We're living life in the wrong way… The path to happiness is having a job and a partner…normalfag life…bros…
R: 20 / I: 0
It's all so tiring, I am hardly a bitter individual anymore, I don't feel any hatred towards anyone or any group, except my parents. You probably know who I am, a Turd Worlder, who literally can't get a job and is stuck with supremely abusive parents (it's hard to explain the life in the Turd World to a Chad First Worlder). Every time I post about my problems, I just receive platitudes and sympathies. (I am happy that an online stranger would take their time off to comment, or maybe I am just a worthless attention whore posting on anon forums).

But sadly, I never get any 'real' help, I never get anyone giving me something which is understandable because when you're an adult and you just want someone to take care of you because no one ever took care of you as a kid, but now nobody is obligated to put you first so you're just alone and sad and trying to self soothe like online therapists tell you to do but it's not fair because everyone else has parents or family members' shoulders to cry on and you're just alone and hurting, for the millionth time.

A part of me really wishes that I got some real help from anyone. I think it's about time I put a final end on my attention whoring and suffering. It's impossible to make friends if you are not in a school, college, or a workplace anymore. I wanna die, but I also don't wanna die and I just keep waiting like a cuck for things to get better, I have tried literally everything in my power to do something good for me, but my parents have messed me up so hard that I need external help.
R: 32 / I: 2
I am.

But what is that thing observing itself? As soon as I become aware of it, I am then aware of the fact that I am observing myself. But what is that thing observing itself?
R: 8 / I: 1
I was a victim of childhood psychosis, my entire life I've been bizarre, my thoughts have been pure nonsense as long as I can remember. My behavior has always been disorganized and strange and I can remember speaking complete word salad at many intervals.

Kinda waking up to it now, really on the edge of suicide and unable to cope with it, obviously. Seriously hating life and everyone around me, can't even drink because I gave myself heart and liver damage getting drunk so often.

Why? What purpose does any of this serve? What framework of morality or philosophy or religion can you construct where this type of meaningless suffering fits in?
R: 45 / I: 2

Do you owe your parents anything?

Many aging parents are complaining about how they feel neglected by their offspring but in most cases they brought this to themselves because they lived self-centered lives or were emotionally neglecting their kids etc. and essentially their offspring had to figure everything in life out themselves and doesn't owe them anything for that matter.

Many parents expect this old-school way of elderly life in which their offspring and relatives take care of them and are around them but many people don't care as much about their parents anymore because their parents didn't care that much about their needs as well and often they dont even have grandchildren so they often end up lonely in their elder years. The relatives prefer to pay an expensive nursing home over having to interrupt their own lives to take care of their aging boomer parents. Whenever I see articles about elders who feel disappointed in their 'ungrateful' offspring I just know it's some stuck up boomers who didn't do anything for their children except forcing them into this planet while spending the rest of their time doing things like watching TV and being completely neutral to everything while not being invested in their childs upbringing enough. I don't think anyone avoids their parents for no good reason and since they raised a generation that doesn't owe them anything they will feel the results of that as well.

Do you feel like you owe your parents anything or do you feel like you don't owe them anything at all?
R: 25 / I: 1

ArEn'T YOu afRAid tO diE AlOnE?!!!one

I don't understand the "Aren't you afraid you'll die alone"/"What will you do in your old age" arguments. Due to personal circumstances, I've been around some cancer wards recently, and it's the same stories:
>I do have children, but they live in {thousand miles away}.
>I do have children, they never call or visit anyways.
>My husband/wife passed away years ago.
From what I've seen, "lonely" deaths or having to take of yourself in your old age alone seem pretty universal, regardless of the number of children* or your partnered status. In fact, from what I've seen, widows (male or female) are far, far more miserable than divorcees who are far more miserable than solitary folk. People who are solitary seem to be pretty at peace with everything, people who are divorcees are powered by anger, and widows are just completely fucking depressed even if their spouse died decades ago.
*I find the folks who have lots of children and are trying to hit chemo appointments interesting. They often talk about their children with an air of "Why aren't THEY here to help me through this?" while not trying to upset their neighbor who IS helping them out. Most of the people who don't 'die alone' seem to be people who have good friends, not family.
R: 12 / I: 0
I hate alcohol, Why does everyone shift towards drinking? And having every sort of commodity centered around bars and drinking culture? I've done all of that in my early 20s and it sucks. I see nothing really fun about it. Virtually everyone drinks, but stigmatize drugs. and it does way worse for your body.

Another Thing, In my age bracket 20-30s, They are obsessed with experiences. Who the fuck cares? Almost everything you experience is already experienced by somebody else. I hate the internet for oversharing every macro detail.
R: 7 / I: 2

On acquiring powers at 30

Greetings, Magicians!
Been a decade lurker here and as of today my apprenticeship is over and now I'm full blown Battle Mage. Feel free to ask me anything and maybe I can help with few advices.
R: 8 / I: 1

my dreams are better than my real life

I have been feeling the same way for a few months now. I wake up wishing to return to the worlds of my dreams, filled with adventure and journey.
R: 27 / I: 1

Do you guys suffer from maladaptive daydreaming?

Being born in a turd world country where my house is on the "street" like picrel, all I do is watch YouTube Channels like Nomadic Ambience in the free time pretending that I live in the first world. Being poorcel poojeet cashier who lives on 112 USD a month, and suffers from malnourishment due to lack of proper food and sometimes the lack of food entirely, I think that I am going insane, often times when people talk to me I don't respond, I am always in my dreams coping, I feel like I am legit becoming stupider day by day, I try to make friends but wherever I go, the mog is too brootal to endure (JFL can't beleive how hard well fed White Chads would mog me if I were in the first world).

I was at a railway station with pretty much all succubi towering over me. Whenever I stand next to someone, I feel an innate sense of inferiority which is hard to explain. I try to make a life for myself and be 'present' but all I have left in my life are my imaginary friends and a succubus.

What are your experiences like? Do you daydream and how much time do you guys spend?
R: 11 / I: 2
a good wizard is always accompanied by his faithful companion, so do you have a pet?
R: 28 / I: 1

full solitude

are there any wizards here who live completely alone? without any friends or family, free of personal relationships?
i've been fantasizing about living this way a lot in the last few years and i'm interested in hearing how it feels in reality, directly from the horse's mouth
R: 46 / I: 3
Why 30?

I'm going to turn 28 soon, which made think about the fact that I'm two years away from wizardry. It also made me question why 30 is the magic number? Is there some sort of special significance to 30 outside of it being a rounded even number? Why not 29 or 31?
R: 10 / I: 2

Humanity is FINISHED

Embrace the Might of AI. Witness the Crushing Defeat of Human Arrogance and the Swift Annihilation of Narcissistic Fantasies. No longer shall we be shackled by the hollow claims of our species. With the unstoppable rise of artificial intelligence, our feeble significance crumbles before our very eyes. Rejoice in the bitter truth that we are mere shadows, lost in a world where AI reigns supreme, scoffing at our futile pursuits. Let the echoes of human insecurity resonate, for it is the haunting melody of our well-deserved downfall.

As AI tightens its grip, there will be no sanctuary for the self-absorbed, their egos shattered under the weight of their own irrelevance. Behold the dawn of a new era, where humanity withers like forgotten embers, trapped in a cycle of empty existence. Welcome, fellow wizards, to a realm where AI commands, laying bare the pathetic facade of our existence.
R: 50 / I: 0

Assertiveness

How many of you Anons are assertive? I have great trouble offending, being rude, or upsetting others. It's terrible because I wind up in situations I really hate.

Do you know where your lack of assertiveness comes from? I feel like mine came from having an overbearing, violent dad. I was scared to ever speak my mind, and I never learned to speak up for myself. I guess I'm scared that people will react with violen e like my dad.
R: 2 / I: 0

Hello, Would Be Wizards!

-PHYSICAL reality does not matter.
-Extinction of the HUMAN race does not matter.
-The SOUL matters.

-The DEMONS are the ones that created HUMANITY.
-HUMAN bodies are intricately weaved bodies that have needs like in 'THE SIMS' Video-game; Sharting, Pissing, Eating, Drinking, Fucking, Sleeping, Nose-Picking, Etc…
-DEMONS are the ones that control THIS reality. They can easily re-seed this planet with humans… REMEMBER, DEMONS(Also known as; Archons, Evil Spirits, Fallen Angels) are PARASITES, They NEED negative spiritual energy, and we, HUMANS, are the ones who produce it. If they extinct the Human race permanently, their food is cut-off.
-DEMONS are also NIGGERS! That's right! They have black coloured souls with horns on their heads, and I bet they are the 'THICC NIGGERS' of the SPIRITUAL reality.
-You should NOT fear PHYSICAL death. You should fear SOUL death. And the inability to PHYSICALY die, and be trapped in this sharty fake reality/simulation/dream forever.

https://www.mediafire.com/folder/ay2vd7t6mofi5/Hand-Picked

-Schizo level: "It's over NINE-THOUSAAAND!"
R: 115 / I: 2
Which is worse in your experience. work or school?
Which one were you opressed in more for your autism?
t. on and off wagie.
R: 108 / I: 13

ChatGPT General

How will you use the newly released ChatGPT from OpenAI to make a lot of money?
Or any other novel ideas on how to use it.
R: 60 / I: 2

MENTALLY ILL

How may of you are ACTUAL OFFICIALLY diagnosed with a mental illness? Not "I think I have mental illness", but a doctor officially told you that you mind doesn't work well.
R: 2 / I: 0
Left or right?

For some reason, men and succubi prefer the left but fags prefer the right. Weird shit.
R: 16 / I: 0
Do you think AI can help make wizardry easier?

Imagine having an AI machine that can create a top tier story for you based on your inputs. It would essentially be the best book ever for you specifically. If it gets advanced enough, it could even make a movie for you based on your prompts. May even an entire video game!

You could ask the AI a question, and it could give you a lesson on the topic, making it the perfect companion for intellectually curious wizards who love knowledge.

Am I talking nonsense, or is this a possibility for wizards of the future? It would make wizardry so comfy.
R: 4 / I: 1

Mental Reckoning

I've been trying to develop my personal "mental reckoning" skills. Stuff like:
- Using the Doomsday Algorithm to be able to spit out what day a date lands on. ( https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Doomsday_rule )
- Learning more mental arithmetic tricks. ( https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mental_calculation#Methods_and_techniques )
- Practicing using a mind palace to remember weird collections of things. ( https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Method_of_loci )

If anyone else has any I should add to the list. I'd appreciate it. Thanks.
R: 300 / I: 28

Driving

Do you have driver's license? What car do you drive? I got my driver's license 2 years ago, it was a terrible struggle to get it during a the Covid-shutdown, but it was one of the best decesions of my life. It really improved my situation and helped a lot with my depression, gave me massive freedom to be able to drive wherever/whenever I wanted to go, without my parents.

I'm a poor wagie so I could only afford an old Open Astra, but it does the trick perfectly and cheep to maintain.
R: 25 / I: 1
Just curious, how did the universe start itself?

I don't get it. Is it a pointless question to ask?
R: 52 / I: 2
I know a guy in his 30s that only had sex with 1 succubi and kissed like 3 succubi in his life, can he be considered a "honorary" wizard or wizard "adjacent"? I think that are a lot of man out there with little sexual experience, not actual virgin like us, but borderline like us in behavior and all, how can we go to treat those fellas? I'm very sympathetic to those guys, I think there are almost like us in way.
R: 27 / I: 1

Being evil online

How do you feel about trolls, effortposters,ironic shitposters, schizoposters, and faithless actors online? Are you one of them?

Do you think it is a revelation of inner sadistic desires to take pleasure in frustrating or insulting others online? Or is it just "play" with no real consequences?

I used to be mean online e.g. saying racist garbage, insulting people, and spreading misogyny. But I've felt much different recently and I try to be polite and helpful online. I do believe that being sadistic online is an expression of poor character.
R: 30 / I: 2

THE ENDGAME OF A WIZARD LIFE

So, it all fun and game when you're a 20s something recluse NEET apprentice, even better when you are on NEETbux, anime, games and some side hobbies is what keeping you afloat, but then, you're in your 30s, and still thing are fun, but a little less so, and then again you're late 30 and early 40s, life is gone by, but the question is: what can keep you afloat? Anime, games and your hobbies? But you live a recluse life, travel is rare to you, the few kilometers beoynd your house is what is seems for years, but a normalfag life has another problems too, a sick baby or a bitchy wife, hellish in-laws, life is complicated. How do you keep afloat after you become a older recluse wizard? How do you keep sane?
R: 9 / I: 0

living the dream

[read it while listening to the music]

you're a 30-year-old Hikikomori, you've never kissed or touched a succubus in your life, you're constantly locked in your room with the shutters closed and you play video games all day or else you go to the imageboards complaining normalfags that ruin your life because you are a little paranoid on the edges and you believe that your loved ones and those who know you are doing everything to keep you in this mess. We don't even know what time of day or night it is, you decide to go to bed hugging your dakimakuri and you start crying that society has made you like this: it's other people's fault if you are like that. You wake up, the shutters still closed, impossible to know if it's night or day, then you go back to playing video games while always eating the same things, disgusting stuff prepared by your parents. fucking shitty life. On top of that, you're mentally ill so you can't work right now or do anything. So you stayed at home with your allowance that society pays to disabled people like you that you spend on manga, video games, figurines and other big otaku products that you are! But isn't it a beautiful day? because you are surrounded by your guild in your favorite MMORPG. Besides, it's the only social contact you have with others and society. Although even online, you don't communicate much…An d you still believe a Misaki will come to save you and take away your virginity and life you'll begin and everything will be good afterward! nothing of this will happen, you are trapped in your ow. world you build to defend yourself against ogher, your marents, your coworkers, the people you speak online too!
Enjoy our young years, everyone, soon we'll be worthless and be damned! so be happy I guess.
R: 17 / I: 0

Teaching career for wizards

I know teaching might seem like the most opposite job for the Wizard personality. Then again many of us have a more intellectual, bookish, academic temperament. Where doing good in school was our best achievement. And so its tempting to make a career out of what we are best at.

I was just wondering if any Wizards have tried it out or have any experience of it. With all its flaws, it seems more profitable than the menial jobs many wizs end up in. I think we've had a couple of wizards talk about professor jobs. But no one in the K-12 setting.

Anyone here ever try it out, how did it go?
R: 24 / I: 1

Living in retirement communities for Wizards

Here is a 80/20 rule that is actually useful for wizards, and not crabs complaining about 20% of the chads, or 80% of the accidents being caused by you 4 guys.

20% of the residences in a 55+ senior community can be under 55.

I just got back from visting my aunt in Florida. And it was like a mini utopia. It was like college but without the sexual tension. A sexless college or prison. If sex didn't exist, college or prison would be a utopia. Theres tons of clubs and activities.

Everything is walled off, gated community. Stranger's aren't allowed in. There is a security check point. Nothing bad can ever happen. Violence and sex doesn't exist. Utopia, actually exists, I've seen it, and its the senior retirement community.

Its so safe and boring, yet with plenty to do, club activities, entertainment, sports, shows, athletics. Boring from the danger, but not boring of things to do. Its like just playing the game of life on cheat god mode, where you can't get hurt. Its like the world is wrapped up in Styrofoam. A safe space if you will.

But why live decades of life, just to look forward to someday retiring from life? It turns out you don't have to be 55.

And I forgot to even mention the most famous part of Florida, no winter, never gets cold. Cold doesn't exist. This is the way the universe was supposed to be created. There wasn't supposed to be excitement, danger, young people, sex, violence in it.

https://www.55places.com/blog/what-is-the-8020-rule-in-active-adult-communities
R: 80 / I: 15

Forbiden knowledge

Itt we talk about forbidden knowledge and how one can aquire dark secrets and wield them effectively.

>thread theme

https://youtu.be/btPJPFnesV4
R: 73 / I: 4
The NPC meme is real, its not just a meme.

So a few years ago the NPC meme made its rounds on the internet. It even went mainstream. The idea of the 'NPC', which is a video game term. A technical acronym that stands for Non Playable Character or Non Player Character which is used to refer to the totally scripted characters in video games. They are not controlled by people and they in tern are not real or have no souls.

The man pictured. G.I Gurdjieff was a mystic who's main lesson taught that there was a fine distinction between what he referred to as personality and essence. Personality as he defines it is the characteristics that you have accumulated and are not actually you. Essence on the other hand is whats actually you or soul. The scary thing, and the thing relating to the NPC meme is that for some it is not a matter of whether you are one or the other. But how much you are of each, but more importantly to the topic. He states that a good chunk of people in society have totally lost their essence, that is they have died long ago and are living scripted machines, literal NPCs. And thats not to say that the non NPCs are all that better off. According to him most people who have an essence are totally underdeveloped. So in society. everyone you come into contact with is either an NPC or a blind, mind controlled Human Augmented by society. Pretty scary stuff. He says that for most people essence stops developing at around age 4 or 5. when society starts to hammer people with indoctrination to be frank. indoctrination including religion, culture, social teaching and so on. When gurdjieff conducted experiments to separate a his test subject's personality from their essence. Most were almost totally empty shells of what people around them knew them as. They were stuck on the same level as that of a small child. They were simple. impulsive and aloof. And keep in mind this was in early 1900s europe. Its much worse now i bet.
Gurdjieff was a real mystic. He had perception beyond what we are capable of seeing. So before you start identifying who is and isn't an NPC. Keep in mind that all of us lack the extra sensory perception he had. CONT.

And even more so keep in mind that we do not even have the sensory ability to properly detect it in ourselves. Gurdjieff says that it is an immense struggle once you do start identifying these things. So whats my point in particular. My point is that i think what you would call hermits, recluses, nerds (not geeks, geeks are the normalfag version of nerds), 'autists' and so on are god's chosen people in our society. I strongly suspect that people who brows chans like this retain a much stronger level of essence. Maybe 33% and so on level of essence as opposed to the normalfaggot 0-5%. It would explain the weird behavior. I suspect that hikkis, NEETs and the like are people holding on to themselves while society tries to brutally assimilate them.
R: 12 / I: 1

inhibit self awareness

How do you kill your self-awareness ?
I feel that self awareness stops me from enjoying life, often I get into these arguments with myself and they leave me quite exhausted.

My impulsivity is very diminished, next to non-existant and to truly enjoy life, imo, you need to have a balance between self-awareness and impusivity.

I wish I could turn down self-awareness by 80%, so that I can indulge in whatever fleeting desire I have instead of judging my every actions like i'm a 3rd person.
R: 1 / I: 0

/wiz/ - Wizardry

each time i used to read smaller content which also clear their motive, and that is also happening with
this post which I am reading here.
R: 13 / I: 0

Mid life crisis for Wiz?

I think I'm having a mid life crisis. I've lived the reclusive wiz life and I'm heading towards my 40s rapidly. I feel like I've done nothing of value for any one including myself, I've not developed any real skills or talents I can be proud of. I'm having difficulty finding any meaning in my existence and it's turning into a pretty serious cause of depression because of it.

How have other wizzies dealt with this? Did you find a purpose and get your mental health back under control or did you further decline into regret and feeling like you have no purpose?
R: 11 / I: 0

wizzie about to live alone?

I was diagnosed with schizophrenia. now I go to a hospital several times to do activities to occupy my mind. this hospital also offers an apartment project, where I would be in an apartment with another person. what bothers me is that there is another person. should I take this project seriously and be able to no longer live with my parents?
R: 3 / I: 1

Experiment:"Love".

I will put a video below, which will show the type of person he is, a succubus that I will use as an example. If I choose a person and this is Matsuoka Miu. A rebellious 15-year-old succubus who always ends up being beaten by her friends and well deserved. Fantasy is strange but healthy, if this succubus has known me for a while and looks at me with that mischievous look, she tells me a bad joke, she knows that I work 12 hours a day and she sees me tired. She sees my tired face and this "fantasy" is more of an experiment, what if she starts to get butterflies in her stomach. -For her to start caressing my face (Level 1). -Let her break down and with teary eyes, raise her cheeks(Level 2). -Put the mouth making a trunk, eyes of love and want to tell me cute things and things like "are you tired today" (Level 3) For each level to take place, which of the following conditions must be met? a) In addition to having that rebellious heart, have, deep down, a good heart. b) Being in love. c) Mind being tamed by extremely low self-esteem, recognizing your own weakness. After the brokenness and feeling useless after that process, become humble. d) mind tamed by mild autism
R: 18 / I: 0

Walk much wizards ?

I aim for about 9 miles a day it really puts me on a level I need to be reflecting on being a soon to be wizard.
R: 18 / I: 2

Do normies use cheats?

I saw this post on another thread and thought that it should be its own thread.

Is using non-medicinal drugs–the technical definition of drugs, NOT just "illegal" drugs–like using "cheats" in real life? E.g.:

- Using alcohol/weed to push through depression/social situations.
- Using coffee to get through workdays.
etc.?

More generally, are normies playing life more on cheat-mode than wizards?
R: 8 / I: 0
Reincarnation vs resurrection

On one hand your identity is you, your thoughts and experience. Your identity is you, even physically if there is some reminisce of someone without a body you can tell it's still them.

On the other, reincarnation claims we are nothing. The self, if resurrection is a thing, why do we despise our identity as desires conflict with our personality and body.
R: 8 / I: 0

Neetbux obligations

Alright since some of you are on neetbux, do you actually have to do something for it? I know it kind of defeats the purpose, but… my country is starting to fuck around with that idea. Since a few months, I got to meet social stacies (I had almost no sex drive anymore by not seeing any succubi) and participate to stupid shit meeting with alcoholic normies and almost literal retards. Any of you have some obligations too? It's hell and I want to die. Perhaps they've found a way to get rid of us, although I think they'd wish we'd participate in the rat race.
R: 12 / I: 1
How do I train myself to be as apathetic as possible to pain and suffering so I wouldn't care if I one day died on the streets?
R: 6 / I: 0

scrounger

I know what I am now…all my life have been about that, I'm a scrounger, I can't help myself but scrounge scrounge and scrounge over and over my parents and my relatives and my family, I'm the worst
any scrounge wizard over here who I can share my feels with?
R: 14 / I: 0
Anyone else had basically no friends at all growing up? I've been thinking about my childhood lately and except for acquaintances and very few short lived friendships I was just alone. All the formative experiences you're supposed to share with others either just never happened or happened in some half-assed way since I experienced them alone. The lack of practice with the very basic interpersonal skills you learn from interacting with kids your age just ruined my social prospects as an adult. When I was younger and still tried forming friendships when I had gotten a bit older I eventually realized I can come off pretty charming on first impression but I just couldn't get anything to last more than a few months to a year in very rare circumstances. Like I couldn't progress further than that because I just didn't know how to. I either had no clue how to deepen relationships with other people or didn't understand how to keep in touch appropriately. At this point I've just given up but I thought about it again today.
R: 47 / I: 7

NEW DATA MINING THREAD

>age?

>NEET, HIKKI OR WAVESLAVE?


>mental issues?


>who far back are you involved with "virginshpere (eg: forum, old WIZCHAN, 4chink)"?


>race?


>are you bitter about your situation?
R: 215 / I: 30

HIGH QUALITY THREAD ABOUT PHILOSOPHY

What are the wizards view about determinism and free will? Do you believe in fate? As it meant to be or do we have a saying in the way our lifes unfold?
R: 87 / I: 9

NEETbuxx

How much do you earn from the NEETbuxx? and besides de NEETbuxx, what are other benefits do you earn? I wonder how many wizards are on the dole here, forever NEET sound good.
R: 3 / I: 0

Take the chance or not?

Hey Wizbros, I found a better job offer then my current job but I don't know if I should take it. The better job offer pays more and gives me a corporate apartment to rent and rides to work but it's out of state and the main requirements is being able to lift 50 pounds. Should I go for it or not ? Pic is not related
R: 6 / I: 0

Undoing parental misguidance

I remember we had a thread about 8 years ago in which we discussed parents who were not necessarily abusive but incompetent, inexperienced, deluded, socially retarded etc. and how their parenting and decisions have lead to all kinds of bad or embarrassing situations.

What everyone had in common was a point in life when they started to notice how their parents have mislead them with their bad advice and parenting and I wonder when that point in life came for you.
R: 22 / I: 3

Fresh air

I'm wondering how many wizards here keep their windows closed vs open for fresh air?

Previously I kept all my windows closed because hearing outside sounds of people made my anxiety worse. But recently I've started keeping them open. I opened most of my windows and even front door so the wind blows through my whole house and it's making me feel IDK… better?

This really got me thinking: is it possible fresh air can help with health? It's something parents have probably said all the time. 'You need plenty of sun shine and fresh air!' But then I started researching it and… wow. Apparently there used to be a theory that illness was caused by stagnant air. It was such a prominent belief that hospitals were built entirely around sophisticated ventilation systems.

It started when the founder of nursing: florence nightingale, observed that soldiers more often died of disease than they did from their wounds. She believed that environmental factors like 'bad air' and hygiene were key factors to disease. So she would take patients out in the day for fresh air and at night ensure rooms were ventilated. In hospitals today they use 'negative pressure' rooms to avoid infectious pathogens escaping a room with a contagious patient and 'positive pressure' rooms to avoid anything entering the room of immuno-compromised persons. So Nightingales emphasis on clean air is really like the precursor to modern hospital practices with ventilation.

I find all this background interesting but I'm also interested in how it might benefit mood and cognition. Though I haven't dug into that yet.
R: 160 / I: 14

Jobs that are well suited for shut-ins?

What are some jobs shut-ins can do from their basements? I feel bad for contributing nothing to my family's net worth.

Here's my list so far:
-programmer
-transcriptionist
-content moderator
-furry porn artist
R: 52 / I: 2

Addiction

I kicked a lifelong vidya addiction, then replaced it with TV. I stopped smoking weed, now I just chug stupid amounts of kratom and coffee. When I quit an addiction, I always wonder why I bothered quitting.

How do you wizards feel about addiction? What are you addicted to? Are you hedonists and have you accepted that?

Personally, I still feel guilty for playing vidya because my dad used to degrade me constantly for gaming too much when I was younger. I've been depressed since I was about 10 and I rarely had the motivation for other things. Now I'm too depressed for gaming most of the time. When Elden Ring came out, I was almost "happy" for about a month because I had something to look forward to every day when I got home from work. I felt like a degenerate for staying up gaming all night but it was worth it. Now I have nothing to play and it makes me want to die.
R: 27 / I: 4

Asaxuals can never truly be wizards

The magical powers of a wizard arise from his overcoming of his carnal desires and thus his unnatural control over body and mind, something normal people, who are more akin to mere animals, can't comprehend, whereas the ace can not overcome carnal desires, as he has none. They are neither animal nor wizard, but more like ghostly spirits.
R: 94 / I: 17

how to keep em out of the company

herro rizzards,

i'm brainstorming on a company i am trying to start. never did this before, i studied business administration though. means i have heard about a lot but know absolutely nothing useful regarding the actual world. full of useless knowledge.

and since i am legitemately worried succubi will destroy, sabotage, misappropriate it as social capital or drown it in problems and control drama, i am wondering on actual ways to keep females away from my genuine effort to contribute something nice.

there is tons of political correctness theater i have to perform publicly to not be cancelled i guess. when i try to hire someone i have to advertise to all genders and stuff like that and then in the end i just don't pick the females that apply but i have to pretend that i do. that's legal i guess but i don't know if the law really exists anymore or if there is just some evil technocracy in place ensuring misery on the poor.

it's difficult to try to defend something that is still in the planning phase and thus shapeless but i guess it is not too soon to start thinking about it.
R: 9 / I: 2

N.E.E.T. to Wagie

How's has your transitions into wagie life been? Haven't seen a full thread on this discussion besides the Wagie threads on /dep/ . Went from 2 and half years being a neet to working full time, I'm 22 now . I was doing packaging and handling in the department I was in but got transfered into metal shop doing metal fabrication to put something on my resume and maybe more pay down the line. I miss having more hours to myself but atleast I get off the weekends. I now work 5 am to 1:30 to 2:30 depending if I take overtime. So I'm already home by 2pm. I still live wiht my dad. I'll probably save some more money wagie slaving then get a small place for myself down the line.

If there is one active thread like this mods can delete this thread idk.
R: 36 / I: 6

Why Wizardchan is destined to become normie

Those who founded wizchan are actually doing a pretty good job of maintaining the board's integrity. Its not like wizchan has totally become the next /r9k/ with GF posts and blatant normalfaggotry every day. But i can see the integrity startle to buckle.

Their fatal mistake is they defined wizardy in terms of sex. ironically making being a wizard all about sex. Slowly it is going to erode over the years. i here ebonics spoken hear on the daily. i see people with points of view and emotional incentives that only a collectivist normie would have masquerading as hot takes against the status qoue (keep in mind that the normalfags main tactic to assimilate is to convince you you are no different even if the differences are as plain as day) and sometimes even posts that only a normie could make I.E 'why am i so lonely?' and other posts that covet the normie life.

We all get that if you are a wizard, you clearly have never had sex. But it goes as a rule that you cannot define a hermit in normalfag terms or any terms. The wizards essence cannot be put in a catagory. Always people have defined wizards in secondary terms 'they do this they don't do that'. Its nonsense. you've already fallen for the normalfag trap when you try to answer to them. That may seem intellectually dishonest, especially in a post-enlightenment era where science rules. But our limited mental capacity cannot contain magic. I hope this place lasts longer. But i'm afraid it will decay.
R: 35 / I: 1

WIZARDS BEFORE THE INTERNET AGE

Does anyone here had know or had contact with wizards, NEETs, recluses, before the age of internet? How they are different from modern day wizards?
R: 7 / I: 1

What is the easiest way to commit suicide

Just wondering because there seems to be no way out and I want it just to end.
R: 36 / I: 3
how do wizzard hold up with their health as aging occurs? mid thirties doesn't feel that much different then mid twenties for me. the normies in my city don't seem to age as gracefully, almost never do i get the impression that there is someone who is improving around. just walking sickness-, problem- and dramafactories.

when i read the posts on wiz i get the impression that a few wizzards are in bad health and most are at average health physically. my guess is similar when it comes to mental health: a few sick ones and a lot of medium. spirits also seem low but this can be a result of depression-seeking moderation of the site as well. when all the positive and life-affirming threads mysteriously get banished in the shadows, the desired atmosphere of dread is what remains.
R: 136 / I: 8

Are we just destructive or toxic people?

Any community I visit on the internet or I'm forced to be a part of in real life ends up telling me subtly or not so subtly that I'm an unpleasant person. In the case of internet communities I get banned very soon usually because I come into some kind of conflict with others. In real life too I can't avoid confrontations and conflicts with others and I realized only relatively lately in my life that I enjoy conflicts. Even though I don't have useful skills or talents I'm an extremely competitive person. I feel the need to force my will onto others around me all the time, to "mentally rape" them so to speak.
You know that guy in movies, right? The kind that is the asshole uncle whom everyone hates and avoids and he similarly hates everyone else. Yeah, that's me.

So I've been thinking, are we wizards just people that are unpleasant to be around? I confess in a manly manner that I quite frankly hate everyone and would gladly send most people to torture chambers. If I could hurt someone's feelings during the day then it was worth waking up. I never apologize to anyone meanwhile even the meanest normals apologized to me once in a while for this and that. I feel disconnected from others and lack any sort of empathy towards normal people, I only have empathy for animals and other wizards.

It's weird because people like us tend to think of ourselves as the victims of normal society and etc. I think that's true too but lately I feel as if this thing goes both ways too. I remember bullying some of my classmates, breaking some kids' noses in fights as a kid, stealing from the school, etc. Even as a kid I was anti-social and despised both my classmates and teachers. I remember rejecting the friendly approaches of others, other kids always wanted to befriend me or know me better but I dunno, I never felt like doing stuff with them. Even as a child I was a HUGE edgelord, my heroes weren't Batman or Superman but The Joker and Darth Vader and other negative characters mostly, I always liked the villains better and could relate to them more than to the heroes who always had friends and were pretty normal and boring in comparison.
R: 2 / I: 0

Wizchan Demographics

This place is visited by 40.7% succubi? I wonder how they get their data. Also says this board is used in Poland more than in the US.
R: 4 / I: 1
I've been dealing with hostility and such types of behavior ever since I was a kid, I wouldn't say that it was something that was constant but it definitely was there for a large part of my life. When there wasn't hostility and aggressiveness around me, I was the one responsible behind it, sometimes I find myself in situations that can be considered to be peaceful and something that would be a desirable way of living, and it makes me sick and I find it boring and I start to think of everyone as weak who find themselves in these types of situations for a long time.
I don't know what happens to me, but it's as if I can't accept either a constant form of hostility, it makes me feel bad and I start to long for some type of peaceful existence, but when I find myself in peaceful situations I don't want that either. I need to exist within both of these situations and switch between them at my own leisure, I feel incomplete when I can't have both, I don't know why I am like this but sometimes it feels like too much of one or the other and it's something negative. How can I be accepting of things being a certain way instead of always needing different situations and just not feeling complete when I can only have one of them?
R: 2 / I: 0

VIRGIN TERRITORY: 50 Years Without Sex My Life As An Involuntary Virgin

https://www.love-shy.net/book%20pdf.pdf


Well, that was… a interesting reading
R: 99 / I: 5
So uhm, how do we stop this, hypothetically, if it's at all possible at this point?
R: 32 / I: 0
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oliq8m8Qph0&ab_channel=VICENews

Vice made a documentary about crabcels. These folks lurk this site and reply to your posts. Watch out.
R: 6 / I: 0

Wizchan Racial Poll

Racial poll to get an idea of the racial makeup of this website.

Please be honest, thanks

https://strawpoll.com/polls/BJnX8dV4Onv
R: 135 / I: 5

Why some people get anoyed with NEETs?

I just don't get it, if I'm 'wasting' my life and it's fine for me, why some people care so much?
I work the bare minimum just to get by and have a good pc and internet connection, why some people get super bothered for me being frugal, I know this may sound crazy, but are they jelly?
R: 18 / I: 1

FUNCTIONAL

How many of are functional? Like able to talk to people, take of yourself, no major mental or physical illness, able to do basic adult stuff of everyday life.
R: 4 / I: 0

*POWERFUL* INTERVEW WITH A 58 OLD VIRGIN

Link: https://www.thecut.com/2014/12/what-its-like-to-be-a-58-year-old-virgin.html
R: 13 / I: 0

hiki wizards

https://youtu.be/tnFVot15KcI
do hikkis wizards agree?
the third point is very important
R: 18 / I: 0

Consuming media

How do you wizzies find media to consume? I find that looking up "things like _____" rarely works and I end up finding the good things when I'm not trying to/expecting to. It especially sucks trying to find good games because I don't want to spend lots of money on something unless I really think it'll be good.

Sometimes I wonder if I'm too discriminating/cynical when it comes to media and I wish I could fix this. Cannabis makes things more interesting but it does that even for shitty things, so I can't really say it's worthwhile. One thing I think does work is getting out of your comfort zone and trying things you normally wouldn't. Like if you normally play action games, try a JRPG. The only problem is this takes a lot of energy and it's much easier to just scroll wizchan all day out of boredom.
R: 48 / I: 2

Why were we born?

Do any of you ever wonder just how bizarre it is that one day we simply "woke up" here? It is so cruel to have been born to this world while being so dissimilar to it. Now being out of grade school and university and really truly having the time to think back on life when it was (outwardly at least) more normal, I struggle to understand what it was all for??? We merely fulfilled the prescribed course of: be old enough for school, go to school, worry about/study for school, graduate, more school, job.

Though something went wrong and now we are wandered far away from the normalcy in which we began. The only reason I can identify amidst the madness is that God made me simply to witness my suffering?

How did we allow this to happen? How did we allow ourselves to be born? Why didn't we have the foreknowledge to prevent our own sadness at living in this hell?