/wiz/ - Wizardry

I've had this bottle for 5 years since I became 18 and realized my life is in a slow decline of low motivation and self hatred. Got into the part where I started playing a game I couldn't stand up to go to the bathroom because bad bladder and needed something close by. I've grown attached to my companion after a while. After it was full I'd not throw it out but empty it, wash it, and reuse. I don't know why but there was a connection. There was a time I fought with my dad because he said it was disgusting and tried to throw it out but he gave up and decided it was not worth it going back to the bottle from the outside garbage everytime he tried to throw it out. I don't know what is wrong with me or why I'm so attached to it. But there is this sense of guilt when I throw it out or the thought of doing it. I tried decorating it a bit too so it doesn't look so bland. I need help ffs.