>>218714I used to be extremely shy and only overcame it at a very late age, so I believe I can offer you some helpful advice. Everyone says that shyness is just a lack of confidence, but they rarely explain what that truly means. You may recognize what confidence looks like, but it can be challenging to understand exactly how to embody it. Well, I'm here to shed some light on that. People also often advise not to care about what others think, and while there is some truth to that, it's not as simple as flipping a switch, especially if you're a shy and anxious person. You're not a psychopath; you absolutely do care about others' opinions. What you need to work on is understanding why you care so much.
For now, set aside the word "confidence." Instead, focus on the lack of insecurity, which is what confidence should mean to you at this point. Ask yourself: What are you insecure about? You mentioned that you think people are making fun of you. Why do you feel this way? Did you have negative experiences in the past? Who were the people involved? Did these incidents occur during your childhood? Children often say foolish things, and as an adult, you would likely brush off such comments. However, since you experienced these things during your formative years, your emotions are still tied to that child-like self. It's essential to communicate with that part of you as if it were a child because, in a sense, it still is. This is why identifying the specific memories behind these feelings is crucial. If you're having trouble pinpointing these memories, that's okay too. In that case, you can simply remind yourself that while being anxious about social interactions may have served a purpose in the past, it is no longer helpful. Express gratitude to your younger self for providing that defense mechanism, but acknowledge that you no longer need it and that it's time to let it go. You can rationally explain to your inner child that those were just children who didn't know any better. Don't attempt to use your adult mind to rationalize the feelings away, as that rarely works. Instead, reassure your child-like self that it's okay to feel this way, but the people who made you feel bad were simply being immature.
The second part of the process is to put yourself out there more, allowing your brain to become accustomed to interacting with people and realizing that they can be friendly. Support groups are an excellent way to achieve this. Look for a social anxiety support group to join. If you have any form of addiction, research S.M.A.R.T. groups and attend their meetings. The goal is to participate in something where people are focused on helping each other, which will help your brain adjust to a supportive atmosphere. It's also important to be mindful of the environments you expose yourself to. Spaces filled with negativity and trolls, like most anonymous imageboards (wizchan isnt as bad as say, 4chan, but it is still pretty negative, imo), feed the negative thoughts that keep your insecurities alive. Distancing yourself from these environments will help you cultivate a more positive mindset. You dont have to abandon them completely but it is a good idea to take a break while your brain builds up some resilience.