/wiz/ - Wizardry

>>224861


>So what's preventing you from improving your situation?

I'm mentally disabled. But that's not really important honestly. what bugs me is this

>person managed to challenge his disability and be successsful praising him and all that,

You should "2 Arms 1 head". It's the autobiography of a man who was paralyzed during a motorcycle accident. He talks about how normalfags adore this type of thought. As long as they can convince themselves that every human is able to fix themselves, they never have to feel pity or any sense of gratitude for what they have. It beautifully dismantles this "WHY AREN'T YOU IMPROOOOVING???" nonsense. Read it

>>224862
Wow, I have to

Improve by what metric? For what purpose?

>>224864
Basically career related things the economical side of life, especially in so far as NEETs who rot all day, I know plenty here receive NEETbux and they're doing fine, more power to them.

I don't have the money for College or Trade school, selling veggies in the streets's what awaits me when my mom decides to kick me out

>>224864
By the metric and purpose you make for yourself, sperg.

>>224865
I think I'm pretty well-off, employment-wise. I'm having ~$4-5k every month after all taxes, social security and expenses, which I can only invest for interest and dividends. I know I could've been doing up to twice as much, but I see little incentive.

>>224867
I that case I am inexorably improving in my age.

>>224871
>$4-5k every month
you're rich wizzie!

>>224871
Oh yeah I should have been more precise in my post, I don't want people to think I am talking about B.S like getting a girlfriend.

>>224872
>you're rich wizzie!
He's an adult, not a goo-goo baby "wizzie". Stop forcing this dumb infantilism term.

>>224874
holy shit let me use this term wizzie

>>224874
lol wizzie throwing a tantrum

I hate the very idea of "improving" considering life always ends with a miserable death I just want to stay still and rest

>>224861
It's all about mindset. It's impossible to do something when you don't think it will pay off in some way. Not having that kind of faith in the future is what will make you give up and do nothing. Normies always love talking and hearing about those cases that "beat the odds" so to speak like in your post. If there's one thing that lies at the center of the normie worldview it is survivorship bias. They think everyone can 'make it' because "look some poor third worlder pulled himself up by his bootstraps so there's nothing stopping you!". They simply ignore the millions of people who have attempted the exact same thing but were just not as lucky as the one who had success. Doing nothing won't get you anywhere but trying your best is far from a guarantee either. And when you think to yourself that your odds of actually getting where you want with your efforts are too slim, you stop trying. That's where people will talk about outcome-independence, "bro you have to do the thing without being attached to your desired goal" but at that point you are just gaslighting yourself to get on the hamster wheel regardless of the shit odds of achieving your outcome.
>>224865
A good career is mostly about being in the right place at the right time. Your qualifications might matter more or less but if you're lucky with your boss/colleagues, that is if they are more easy going or you can manage to be friendly with them, a lot of the times people won't really care what you can do. Again, as stated above, being NEET for 10 years after high school will make you relatively unemployable to the middle aged HR succibi, so you have to at least outwardly project that you are doing the baseline minimum. But I've known plenty of adults growing up who were just feeding their souls to the grinder day in day out, sacrificing their time, health and families to their workplaces.

>>224878
Same. All paths of life end at the same point, so why choose the hard way? Why produce more than I consume, if I'm only going to reap a fraction of what I sow? I'd rather take the easy way and work as little as I can.

>>224879
Pretty much the fact I lack connections or "Networking" as they call it is the exact reason why I lack the motivation

I'm too old it's over

>>224879
>. And when you think to yourself that your odds of actually getting where you want with your efforts are too slim, you stop trying.

Normalfags will just complain about "Learned Helplessness" if you say that. It's delusional beyond measure how attached they are to the idea that humans carve their own path through grit when each one of them is a recipient of an easy fucking life.

>>224891
I believe that this is because normans need to justify their own 'good' lives in some kind of protestant ethic. If everyone gets what they deserve based on how hard they try, surely then they have earned their cushy lives, well paying jobs, material goodies etc. And by the same token it absolves them of having sympathy for those who are less fortunate, the uglies and the otherwise abnormal, since they are simply reaping what they sow.

>>224901
Of course not everyone is equal, but unless general belief supports the idea of equality, there is not as much to motivate those capable to try their hardest. A few freaks stuck in futile attempt loops is an acceptable trade-off for the majority of population being directed to realizing their full potential.

>>224862
Thanks, for the book recommendation. I was able to find a copy online and read it in a single sitting.

I find it interesting how much his worldview changed after he was paralysed and yet his core values and attitudes remained as they were. He goes on and on in the book about how great he was before the accident and how he was extremely muscular and could beat up the vast majority of people. He says how succubi would be drawn to him before the accident and how charismatic he was. It seems to me that those attitudes about success and what it means to have a life worth living remained the same for him, although he was not under the illusion that his previous type of life was objectively the best, only that it was the only life worth living for him. He did speak highly of Thích Quảng Đức (the burning monk) but wrote that he could not truly understand him and did not find the path he chose appealing.

I find it interesting how his condition did not cause him to view most paraplegics in a favourable light. He thought of the vast majority of them as entitled, repulsive parasites. He says they are a drain on society and that being convinced to live in that condition would neither be desirable for the paraplegics themselves not the people burdened with caring for them. He doesn't think they should be pressured to agree to physician-assisted suicide if they don't want to but essentially says that he thinks the majority of them would be better off dead and that they would agree if it weren't for all the brainwashing they are subjected to that tells them they are no worse off than able-bodied people.

The book has a chapter on suicide where the author elaborates on his (now changed) views on suicide.
>"Much of what you think about suicide is probably wrong. Much of what I thought about it was wrong"
He warns readers that if they don't take action to legalise assisted suicide, they would find themselves suffering and draining their savings all for a few more days of hell on earth as they lie dying. He feels immense distress at being unable to have society accept his decision of what he views as the honourable route for someone in his cirumstances - suicide.

I also feel that I must comment on the sheer bitterness of his tone in the book. The tone (not the content necessarily, just the tone) reflects the long posts you'd see on /dep/ here.

>inb4 reddit spacing
fuck off

>>224907
>>224907
> He thought of the vast majority of them as entitled, repulsive parasites.

I think he was talking specifically about quadriplegics. Paraplegics can still make money and work.


But in any case, I enjoy the book because it gives insight into the extent of human suffering and it's indiscriminate existence. Anyone, at any time, can have their life ripped away and destroyed, and all their careful delusions blown away like dust. We are surrounded by mountains of human suffering. We shouldn't hide it or try to put a "nice face" on it like normalfags do.

There's no limit to what can be taken away from us. Being trapped in a life where you are basically forced to kill yourself is fucking horrifying.

I'm religious ( obviously Atreus is not), but books like "2 Arms,1 head" have made me think more of the problem of evil than some philosophical works I've read, simply because the obviousness and clarity of suffering presented is more sobering than any technical argument. Why do we suffer so much? And how can one be given a life of such suffering and also be told suicide is a sin? I don't have a resolution for that one.

>>224907
I didn't read it, but judging from your description, I find it somehow satisfying that he met such fate. An ahtletic, healthy turbonormie who enjoyed the attention of succubi and looked down on those less fortunate than him. A hedonist so dependent on bodily pleasures and social status. A jock disrespectful towards the disabled became what he detested the most. The irony! The karma couldn't have been any more humiliating. This is exactly the fate I would wish upon my worst enemies - for them to get a taste of being on the opposite side.

>>224861
MCS

>>224909
>I think he was talking specifically about quadriplegics.
Yeah I phrased that quite poorly. He does indeed only view those who cannot contribute to society as parasites who should be put down. He doesn't think Stephen Hawking is a useless parasite because he thinks his contributions to science justify the amount of work needed to keep him alive.
He is only extreme in his thoughts towards those who are "just a head" (quadriplegics):
>"And let’s be honest here, more or less everybody thinks it’s clear as day that head quadriplegics need to die."

I agree with you on how the book makes one think about suffering to a far greater extent that your average philosopher just because of how raw and bitter his writing is. He doesn't try to hide anything. He tells you exactly how horrible it is and how he would rather die than live this way. To be honest I don't really have an answer to the question of why we suffer and what should be done about it. I do think that suffering goes hand in hand with being conscious and that the only way to eliminate suffering is to eliminate consciousness entirely. This is obviously not practical for any living person unless one wishes to go into a coma and then they may as well just kill themselves. I do think that meditation can help clear one's mind and reduce the feeling of being "there" and just dissolving into the background but meditation is not a state than can be sustained indefinitely.

I am not religious and the book has reminded me that I need to get on with it and make provisions for the day when I will no longer wish to be in this world. I have thought about suicide many times before and I think that the correct approach to suicide is less "I can't take this anymore I want to die right this moment" and more "I no longer wish to play the game of life because I am not getting what I want out of it and suffering needlessly". The book reminded me that as you said one can their life fall apart at any given moment and be subjected to vast amount of suffering and for that I wish to be ready to the best of my ability.

>>224910
As >>224909 pointed out, I have misrepresented his attitude towards the disabled. See the first paragraph of my reply
His attitude towards less extremely disabled people like functional people in wheelchairs was pretty much in line with the average person's and I don't imagine the average poster here would exhibit a different type of attitude. What would you do if you saw a severely disabled person outside? I would probably be self-effacing and wish to avoid them out of some kind of embarassment that I am able-bodied and they are not. As if merely existing around them would be an rubbing it in their face. He does say that he does not like this kind of treatment at all because it seems emasculating and infantilising to him if I have interpreted his remarks correctly. It makes me wonder how exactly a disabled person would like me to act around them. Should I pretend that they are not disabled? Should I avoid giving them space or holding doors open for them because it would make them feel like they are less than me and that I am belittling them? I imagine his attitudes may be different to the average disabled person's though.

I actually lurked some disability subs out of curiosity and I didn't quite liked those paralyzed guys and gals.
Most of them were turbo normies who partied hard and probably got injured due to some stupid accident (riding a bike, speeding, whatever normies do).
Then, they find themselves lonely and isolated and they treat it like torture. It's weird seeing them going from normies to pariahs, even though not long ago they treated said pariahs like trash. If you mingle in their communities, they do talk a lot about being wronged by people, ridiculed, ignored, pitied etc. Not getting any attention from the opposite sex, trouble making friends… Does it ring any bells?
Anyway, I don't deny their struggles, but they are normies who walked (heh) in my shoes society-wise (again, they also deal with physical limitations, not only social ones) and they already treat it worse than death.
I feel like such an asshole writing this, but it's something that needs to be said.

>>224866
where will you get the veggies?
where will you live?

>>224920
I was being semi-Ironic but that "job" is my only hope once I lose my family's support.

I tried to currency trading and cryptoshit for a long time but I gave up and I don't want to ever be a wageslave again I literally would prefer being homeless.

>>224889
how old are you?

>>224916
they know what its like to be a normie unlike me, I get my daily dosis of cope from ecchi, harem isekai genre manga

>>224861
Trauma and the desire to not exist.
I'm getting better though. One day at a time. To anyone reading this, there will come a time where you'll either have to choose suicide or change, try to steer in the realm of change.

>>225009
Suicide currently seems like a foregone conclusion. Not this year or the next five perhaps, but once my folks are gone I don't see myself going on. But who knows. I'm also changing bit by bit, although I find myself slipping back into old habits and thought patterns often. Who knows where my path will lead.

>>224861
join a club they said

>>225018
cringe

>>224861
>So what's preventing you from improving your situation?
fitness and mental health wise, nothing. You be surprised how much just doing a few push-ups, 20-min walk, healthy diet and 5min mediation can do for you.
financially it's hard to improve. Because after being fired, no one seems to want to hire me.
sent dozens of applications all rejection or ghosting.
>R.N, I am learning cyber-security
yeah should be learning a trade too, learning to draw since I want to make my own comics, but I know that isn't going to land me a job. Mainly do it to fulfill childhood dreams.

>>224861
I had a whole essay written out about all kinds of stuff, but at the end of the day it's simple.
Desire. A lack of any desire.
I have fantasies, but no true desire, nothing I actually want to pursue or do.
I'm fine just looking at the wall and being in my own head.
Normies can go on with 0 limbs and a miserable life because they have attachments and desires. A drive to do stuff.
I don't.
I don't know why. When I was a little kid I could do stuff, though the signs were there…
Now I just don't care. Can't enjoy anything. Nothing I like.
Couldn't tell you my favorite color to save my life.
I thought I was very self aware, but it seems I don't know myself at all.

Maybe it's like this fellow says >>224879 I failed way too many times and I just can't see myself succeeding in anything ever.
But I no longer have the desire to either.
Perhaps all the kicks I got for trying made me learn to believe that the grapes were indeed sour to begin with and I dislike them anyways.
Anon it's very ironic that you mention outcome independence. I came up with that on my own at some point, even wrote it down many times in different places as a reminder.
Yet it didn't matter.
It's as you say, if you don't have the desire at all why bother picking up the pen, the carving knife the CCNA books or whatever else…
It's bleak.
I don't know how normies do it, seems like I get 0 dopamine from anything, games included so I just stare blankly most days at nothing much.

There's no need for any kind of adversity. Seems like a mistaken design of the universe and I'm waiting for tons of money to come from behind the curtains and to have a perfect soft world. I think of it like productive technology being invented (or rather always existing) and wage slaves keep working just the same or more. Not me.

I tried but no luck

>>224861
where do I start



My mum: abuses coffee to the point of being a coffee junkie. should it be labelled as "substance abuse", i dunno


my bro: certified schizo

my father: ERROR 404

my cat: has been yeeted outta window thanks bro

my uni: thinks i'm the one who can't learn shit; while I was merely having some blocks

my town administration: rejected my request to provide a social housing for my bro "verbally"

my clothes: second-hand

my laptop: 1366x768

my celly: cracked

my libido: wizardchan tier

my diet: 85% dictated by my mum

Autism lv2/ MLD

>>225242
Autism lv2/ cold ranch

>>224861
Not feeling fulfilled in the end goal is a factor. For instance I am also studying IT, got a few certs but still I don't believe that having a job is going to be better than being a NEET. Probably equal levels of sucky. I can get a house and all that but most likely I'll still be a shut-in depressive type but just in a bigger space. I can get swole but to what end, its better to accept who I am now then to chase what I'm not. Self improvement will eventually turn you into a different person than what you started as. "Better" is subjective anyway. I see a skeleton maxxing monk who can summon any emotion he wants on a whim as "better" than some roided up sociopathic CEO.

I guess my "improooving" is to be at peace with everything. but how the hell do you go about that? I'm not a buddhist but the entire "Desire is the root of all suffering" mantra has alot of truth to it. If you can enjoy the little things and float around until you die I think thats good enough