/dep/ - Depression

>>294087
Simply put, if you see yourself as deficient. You will most likely project deficiency in a myriad of ways. People(i.e. animals) and sometimes even actual predatory animals will receive these signals of weakness and treat you you accordingly. Remember, niceness or kindness is pointless if the receiver feels that's the most or all you have to "offer"

>>294093
How so? Are you just being misanthropic? If so, can't say I disagree…

>>293466
This wiz here, this job is so fucking soul crushing but tolerable. The upside is that nobody here wants to be my friend and the work is monotonous and boring as they come, it also pays good and isn't too difficult and the downside is literally everything else; it's dirty, noisy as fuck and time goes by so FUCKING SLOW! and don't even get me started on the endless fucking drama and gossip here; hell, one succubus even has it out for me for no fucking reason she goes apeshit over the tiniest things like a retard, you guys know the type, resting bitch face single mom with tattoos and shit. Other than that I have to come early every fucking day and I'm always sleep deprived now but at least I make a little bit of a meme-tier currency that devalues constantly in a failing economy that's degrading.

>pic isn't mine, but from a nightwalk in the australian suburbs I live in. How I wish I could be as free as those brief periods.

It could always be worse. At least you're not getting targeted and gangstalked by everyone on the company.

Im still trying to compose my booklet\manual on disabilitybux fraud + welfare maxxing + how to mooch off everyone. But Im afraid of FBI investigations, legal repercussions, etc
Im not good at tech and even P2P isn't safe anymore. I may (or may not…) want to include a section on how to ruin someone's life online; SWATting him, sending tranny prostitutes to his gf's house and telling him( the tranny0 the victim's name, info etc so he presents himself looking for the (victim)
this should ONLY be used against high school former bullies but, shall it fall unto the wrong hands, sin will ensue.

I got a job working with "troubled youth" (thanks to an until now useless psych degree I got about 15 years ago). Needless to say those kids can smell my true nature from a mile away and instinctively give me zero respect. The other day I violently threw a 13 year old who went berserk (it was his birthday and he missed his mommy) onto the kitchen floor, injuring him in the arm. I'm a very sensitive person and I was not made for this kind of bullshit. I cried a bit after doing it. It's good money though.

>>294286
Jesus Christ

>>294286
You honestly couldn't pay me enough to deal with shit like that.

>>294286
… im out of words:D

>>294287
If this was some idiot normie trying to pick a fight sure, but not a little kid on his birthday. Hell no.

>>294293
What am I gonna do? Finding a job in my area was already a complete nightmare and I absolutely refuse to go back to job hunting purgatory. The only jobs willing to take me are call center sweatshops that I no longer have the stamina to deal with.

Anyway, I'm just gonna milk this cow for as long as I can. Throwing the kid on the floor wasn't even the worst thing that happened to me lately (emotionally it was pretty bad since this is the only kid in our care I don't hate). I got attacked the other day by an 80kg drunken 16 year old (he had been stealing alcohol from the local supermarket right under our noses), but since he was inebriated he lost his balance while trying to kick me and I managed to tackle him onto the floor. I got on top of the fucker but he spit at and bit me in the chest while cursing me and my whole family before breaking up in tears bawling how he was traumatized by the whole thing and how he would never recover and it was "all my fault". When I finally let him go he went crying to his room and cut his wrists with a glass shard.

I figure they just enjoy freaking out while I'm on shift since they don't perceive me as a real threat and know I'm too much of a pussy to seriously hurt them. I've been putting up with it for a year now but I feel like I'm finally about to break.

I am going to lose my job because our small company will be given away to another bigger company. The owner just doesn't want to do business anymore so he just drops us. That means I will also lose my car which was leased by the company. That means that I can't pay the bills for the house I bought last year. That means I'm completely fucked.

>>294383
This is pretty disgusting, capital gets concentrated into more and more hands while average dudes get fucked over…

>work begins in 10 hours 58 minutes
the wheels of hell turn closer

>>294380
I thought you're not supposed to hurt the kids? I've met a few 'youth workers' and holy fuck is that a shit job, having to deal with the poor retarded kids that nobody wants pretending to give a fuck about them while they make the dumbest decisions you've ever seen. What does an average working day look like for you? Generally the kids respect youth workers because they're nice and a authority figure here at least. You're basically a government employee to stop a few poor kids from going to jail (isn't very successful)

>>289727
How do you respond to being the least liked person at work? Truthfully I don't actually care what the people there think of me or if they like me, but it's very abrasive and grating to have to be around people who obviously don't like you for hours upon hours. I don't make it obvious that I don't like them, I am just quiet and don't talk much. That's it. That was enough for normalfags to think I have "bad vibes"

So tired of my repetitive callcenter job. People are too stupid to even know how to use shit properly and cant even formulate a sentence to explain their problem. And then get pissy with you for not understanding. Fucking dunning-kruger ass normies. Fuck customer service.

is anyone else very seriously considering joining a religious Order\ commune\ monastic temple or "full time devotee"?
I know it involves slave labor (almost no pay) and menial\ tedious works but think of it : assured room and board, no succubi most probably, no normie music. no normies AT ALL. clean, tidy, no drugs. everyone is poor so no rich yuppies to bully you with their wealth.
im thinking wither ISKCON or Sea Org from Scientology. those forbid marriage for their "monks".

>>294618
No

>>294618
A Christian monk needs to study 2 years of philosophy, and 5 of theology, then dedicate 8 hours to work, 8 hours to prayer, and 8 hours of rest.

I've been a NEET for one year, and I've been a wagie for almost one year… I want to be a NEET again. The wagie slavery is taking its toll on me. I'm just so angry and irritated all of the time. I dread clocking into work and I can't relax when I clock out. When I look at the clock, all I think about is the dwindling time before I have to go back to work.

>>294640
It's hell, been working almost 10 years and it doesn't get better. Time flies by and you haven't done anything but work. The Kingdom of Heaven is just having lots of money so you enjoy your time here. No hope, only suffering.

I still can't believe how big this thread is. There's no reason to go to work if you don't have a female you're trying to impress. Just stop going. I'd rather live in a tent then have to go to work every day. wtf are you guys doing.

>>294652
Retard

>>294643
only way to be free is to be rich, the fucking hauk tuah whore is living better than most people in the world and theres nothing we can do about it

>>294663
you know its true nigger, how you sound so high and mighty when you know rent coming up to fuck you in the ass next month

>>294664
Calling me a nigger is like the pot calling the kettle a nigger. You've outed yourself as being California-brained, putting the almighty dollar on a pedestal while whining about random females who happen to be doing better than you financially, calling her a whore as if you were on /r9k/. You are most definitely a sub-27 crab.

>>294662
You should be banned for posting 3d whores on this site. It would be nice to have a place where these cunts weren't shoved in your face.

>>294667
fucking ban me, i'm tired of this place anyways, it's fucking dead and only like 5 or 10 posters lurk here every fucking year, end my misery already

>>294662
you can't post 3d succubi youll get banned

>working shitty dead-end retail job where I'm worked like a dog nearly every day
>thinking I would only be here for a short time while I working on web development with hopes to find some kind of work
>turns out the market is ridiculously oversaturated and highly competitive, has been for a few years now
>what's more is the my knowledge is only about 1/4 of what I would need to even be considered as hirable anywhere
>to top it off I'm 32 and will almost certainly be passed over for younger candidates

All I want is to stop working these awful dead-end, labor-intense jobs. I'm exhausted every day, I don't get adequate sleep, and I even get recurring physical pains. I just wanted a way out, but I've hit a wall and don't know where to turn. I'm not necessarily picky about what I want to do, I just don't want to run myself ragged for peanuts anymore. One would think that it isn't that difficult, after all I'm a single guy with minimal expenses and few distractions, I shouldn't have a hard time with this theoretically. The reality, however, is that nobody wants these low-wage jobs, so they get into the tolerable work as soon as they can. Of course, normalfags have an easier time getting these jobs than wizards since they have social connections to not only teach them what they need to know, but also help them get hired.

I wont lie though, a lot of it is my own fault as well. I should have acted sooner and developed my skills in some field earlier so I wouldn't be where I am now. I think it's probably too late for me now. I think I'm fucked.

>>294670
10 is being generous. I'm surprised if it's more than 3 actives beside you and me

>>294682
Dude, if you build a solid portfolio and network you should be able to get a web dev job.

>>294699
Please stop giving him false hope. The field is *extremely* swamped and the niche is overflowing with devs especially from India who will do the job better and 10x cheaper than him.

(Who are also motivated by actual hunger and starvation, not "wanting to get experience and some spending money").

>>294286
>Needless to say those kids can smell my true nature from a mile away and instinctively give me zero respect.
You being a wizard isn't what made them give you zero respect! Theses troubled youth, is probably similar to troublesome "people" I have meet in my life. If they sense weakness they will use it to "one up you", because it will make them the "top dog" in their mind to feel better. Even if they basically still at the bottom of society, it gives them a temporary escape thinking "at least I am better then this guy, even if am still a wagie at the end of the day".
hit the gym or anything that build muscles, try not to give out a wussy vibe. Fear is basically the easiest way to get "respect" from these sorts.

Happy Labor Day, worker bees!
I'm still a neet technically, but I put in a janitor application to a supermarket about a month ago and they haven't gotten back to me. I really wanna work there since my commute would be like 2 minutes away from my place. Should I just call them tomorrow and be like "gib me jerb"?

>>294710
call them and see what happens

>>294699
Do you have experience in this field? What kind of projects would make an appealing portfolio?

>>294700
Sadly, this is very accurate. I even have an Indian coworker who's brother is a web developer, and he probably works for dirt-cheap.

I just want out of this waking nightmare. Most people are off on Labor Day, I was on my feet working for over 9 hours. Lately, I've been finding myself hoping that this country finally reaches its breaking-point with people, and that civil war or large-scale anarchy breaks out and we have constant war and violence in the streets. I doubt I would survive long, but I personally view that as a plus because my life fucking sucks.

>>294682
The Not-Self Theme in Human Design is a term that describes the negative emotions or states of being that can manifest when an individual is not living in accordance with their true self. In the case of Bitterness, this Not-Self Theme can arise when one is not following their unique strategy and authority, leading to feelings of dissatisfaction and cynicism. It’s important to note that this is a common experience for individuals operating from their mind’s decision-making rather than their strategy and authority.

>assuming that I am right about you

The Bitterness Not-Self Theme can arise due to a variety of factors, all of which revolve around not living in alignment with one’s true self. This lack of alignment can happen when one’s decisions are driven by societal expectations, pressure from others, or internal fears and insecurities, rather than their strategy and authority.

For Projectors, this bitterness often stems from a lack of recognition or not being invited into roles or decisions. For Manifestors, it can arise when they feel their initiating role is suppressed. Generators and Manifesting Generators might feel bitterness when they’re not using their Sacral response for decision-making and end up in unfulfilling work or relationships. Reflectors can experience this when they don’t give themselves the full lunar cycle to make major decisions.

Another common cause of the Bitterness Not-Self Theme is living a life that is not authentic or true to oneself. This might manifest as pursuing a career path that is not fulfilling, staying in unhealthy relationships, or consistently neglecting one’s own needs and desires for the sake of pleasing others.

When individuals aren’t living in accordance with their design, they can often feel a sense of emptiness, resentment, and a pervasive dissatisfaction with life. This bitterness can affect all aspects of their lives, from their relationships and career to their personal growth and well-being.

>Not you? Not at all?

https://ahumandesign.com/not-self-theme/bitterness/

didn't sleep at all again last night. I fucking hate that so much. Every time I contemplate just not going in but it happens often enough that I can't.

>>294682
I know that feel anon, it's rough. I'm in a similar situation, except I'm 21; I have no fucking idea how you made it to 32 years old like this, I can barely imagine 25. Sometimes I stalk people I know from HS and they're either wildly successful (lawyer, surgeon's assistant) or homeless/jail. I wonder if this is just how life is sometimes, you're a innocent child playing in the street and before you know it you're too old and being murdered by regret.

I also work a dead end factory job with crippling anhedonia. At least it's nice to see someone write a half decent post for a change.

>>294744

The people who are wildly successful are always on a grind, but for them it is enjoyable because they have friends and support. They likely learned how to interact with their peers because they were in a neighborhood where their friends had birthday parties and stuff. Or something happened in highschool that allowed them to socially blossom.

That is one thing they don't teach you in school. The importance of being social. It is impossible to do everything on your own, you need to start learning how to get along with people at a young age if you want to have early success.

>>294589
You're not supposed to hurt them sure, but since these are the bottom of the barrel kids that most normal institutions cannot handle, you can - in certain situations - physically restrain them. The management cares very little if the kids or the employees end up a bit hurt during these procedures. They also don't care about how you do the procedure or if you use the correct techniques or whatever.

>What does an average working day look like for you?
It's a closed environment so you just help them with their daily activities and try to prevent them from killing each other.

>Generally the kids respect youth workers because they're nice
They respect only one thing - physical appearance. If you look tall and mean they will respect you, otherwise you are shit out of luck. They might like you and trust you to some extent, but respect? Not a chance. It's quite the nice job if you got the looks but for me it has been hell on earth.

>>294725
Just go to sleep Leon

>>294710
Forgot to respond to this one earlier, sorry wiz. Just call and ask if they're still hiring for the position. If they are, ask to speak to a manager or whomever is in charge of hiring, it shows that you're actually interested in the job and not just filling out applications at random.

>>294722
I've never heard of this before, but congratulations, you have successfully summed up my entire existence thus far. My father was controlling, my family belittled me or ignored me often, I was made fun of in school, and I've always been expected to be someone I'm not, stuffed into mold I could never fit. No one has ever truly cared about my personal desires, interests, aspirations, talents, or values. I have rarely ever been my true self, and as a result I have become bitter, resentful, and borderline misanthropic. However, I assume most wizards experience this to some degree, the world does not want us as we are and will try to change us or attack us for not 'fitting in.'

>>294744
>I have no fucking idea how you made it to 32 years old like this
Believe me, neither do I. It's like my life has been one long, gray blur.

>Sometimes I stalk people I know from HS and they're either wildly successful
I couldn't do that, I think I would have a panic attack if I saw how much better off everyone I knew is compared to me.

>I also work a dead end factory job with crippling anhedonia.
I had a warehouse job prior to my current job, it was marginally better, but most jobs are agonizing for wizards. I've also been struggling with anhedonia, it's rough because there's the daily pain of work and responsibilities without some form of joy or respite to balance things out. It's baffling to me that anyone anywhere can still be optimistic about life in the modern day.

>>294745
Most people learn social skills at an early age, during their childhood, so they don't even think about how it's a skill that needs to be developed. That's why normalfags always look at abnormal people like us and think that we're defective in some irreparable way. They learned to socialize so early and seemingly effortlessly that they think it's something that people are born with, and that those who cannot socialize are subhuman and must be avoided and rejected.

>>294749
Thanks for the response, broham. I called and the manager chick said they weren't hiring. Kinda bummed since that would've been a killer job, but whatever, it happens. I'm a NEET for another day. Maybe I'll become a doordash freeter or something

>>294745
31 lvl wizard here. Yours is a loser mindset with difference and hardly anything good would come for our likes to live with it.

>>294749
Thanks for the appreciation, yet you still might not be a projector and I would check that.

I recently quit my job. I couldn't put up with the managers for one more day.

It's been three weeks and I've made no attempts to find a new one. I genuinely have no idea what to look for. I don't want to work in retail anymore. I don't have a college degree and I don't have any passions or aspirations.

I was thinking about maybe getting a security license and doing security work, or maybe seeing if one of those halloween stores might hire me. More than that though, I want to die.

>>294816
Learn to code

>>294819
But I'm stupid.