No.305456
I backed out at the last moment last month. When minutes from death I get the most disgusting gory feeling of terror and despair. I believe everyone goes to some kind of involuntary judgement after death and speculation whether you go to hell or heaven is stupid unless you are very evil or very good.
Anyway I realised my SI is a real problem. I see webm's of Japanese schoolgirls jumping to their death without hesitation and I wonder why I as a 30 year old white man can't do the same. I am almost ashamed of it. Getting scared I will never be able to do it and this rot will continue indefinitely.
No.305458
>>305456
>
>Anyway I realised my SI is a real problem. I see webm's of Japanese schoolgirls jumping to their death without hesitation"Puberty hits you hard" versus "keeping face" is a painful concept when youre a teen.
Good thing I had something to hold onto, a certain secret outlet to fulfil my need to feel "still managing to deserve to live".
No.305460
>>305456Drugs are the way to go and that's why they limit drugs as an option. It's pathetically easy to kill yourself with cyanide or Nembutal, or opium.
I feel envious of the drug addicts who have access to those means. The ones who can just get a whole dose of heroin to shoot up and have it look like an OD death.
No.305465
https://www.npr.org/2008/05/05/90179759/japanese-turning-to-suicide-by-detergent-death
>In the past year, some 300 people in Japan have killed themselves by deliberately mixing bleach with other household cleaners and then breathing the toxic hydrogen sulfide fumes.Nu-suicide method just dropped. Or old, but it's not that old.
It's funny, at my old job we did curtain cleaning. And I was always warned not to mix the upholstery cleaner with bleach otherwise it released toxic fumes.
Loading up on alcohol and sleeping pills, and putting on a gas mask, then slowly releasing the gas in a steady stream while listening to music, should make for a relatively peaceful death. Even if the mask slips. It'd still fill the room and kill you.
No.305466
>>305465Death before dishonor. Hopefully they fail to delete the info from boards.
No.305481
>>305466It's not hard to find out honestly. All cleaning products have their ingredients on the back.
I think what's important with suicide is that there's no going back, and that it doesn't trigger a death instinct. Swallowing fast acting poison of any kind does that. Your body doesn't associate swallowing something with death.
No.305484
>>305481SCHRÖDINGER'S UR ASSHOLE
I SURVIVED
No.305521
>>305460I meant killing yourself without hesitation I actually tried to hang myself. I agree these junkies have a ridiculously easy way out, maybe the only good thing about that lifestyle.
No.305522
>>305521It's a pleasant way too. What way could be better than just overdosing on opium?
No.305525
>>297905I almost died of fentanyl once, don't remember how and I sure as shit didn't ask for fentanyl, they just put it in the drugs that I did ask for kinda like a kinder surprise chocolatte egg of death. Put me in a coma. So just do drugs and eventually you will win the amazing fent lottery
No.305530
>>305484stupid picture but i can't help having a laugh at the thought of this kitten exacting its revenge on schrodinger.
No.305573
>>305568Mankind is one giant ball of normgroid slop and I wish for nothing but the worst for it
No.305739
Is there a commit a 'semi-suicide' or 'negligent suicide'?
What I mean is suicide being the result of another act, not committing the act of suicide directly. Such as falling off from a height and dying from inhaling monoxide. I'm wondering if there's any way to do this surreptitiously in my own room such as inhaling aerosol (read about being dying from that but don't know how), caffeine overdose, or malnutrition (not total starvation, just eating not enough).
No.305740
>>305739I'm not really sure, this is just suicide by complicated method, or are you trying to hide your death was by suicide? ODing on substances or eating disorders are common methods.
Anyway the more complicated the method, the more chances for failure.
No.305741
>>305573Someone told me recently about the epstein files and how these people are basically a club of cannibals, that they see themselves as above humanity
Then I brought up animal and how the conditions they live in are similar, take a battery chicken for example, it's basically force fed and its children or eggs are harvested from it until the day it gets turned into KFC itself
When I mentioned this man made hell they said, "well, they're just animals"
Ironic, that's why I refuse to get involved in people's lives
No.305751
>>305741Cannibalism was used during the Cultural Revolution to signify conformity and in-group loyalty. The redguards would make people eat human meat to test their devotion to the cause.
No.305760
>>305751I guess britcucks have always been a bunch of missborn inbreds
No.305765
>>305739If you live in an area with heavy snow, you can go into the forest in the middle of the night, drink a bottle of vodka, and strip naked. People will just assume you got drunk and lost, and paradoxical stripping is a symptom of hypothermia.
No.305777
My family is forcing me to get a job. But I have no skills. And I don't want to get a job. I am going to kill myself. I am so tired.
No.305778
>>305522How much opium do you need to overdose?
No.305815
Bleach method sounds like that 4chad crap with crystal that would fuck your eyes and stomach but keep you alive in even more agony than already are my dream is sneaking into train tracks with headphones at max volume to avoid mutilation or failure at the last moment
No.305916
Wild how on here 6 years ago during a depressive episode I tried to kill myself through freezing myself to death. I drove up the mountain with two bottles of vodka. This was during covid lockdowns.
I had a change of heart and was terrified and praying to god as I was driving back down. As the road was that slippery and I was sliding all over the ice.
It's wild to think that if I crashed and got stuck I probably would've died. I purposely went with no mobile phone and was only wearing a shirt and shorts.
I posted about it the whole time on here hysterically and got laughed at as a troll/attention seeker/whatever. I wanted to die at the time and was in pretty deep depression and terror.
I'm older now, I still feel suicidal but it's more in a "one day" sort of way. I've had a few cycles of getting close and then freaking out at the last minute.
No.305917
>>305916>I tried to kill myself through freezing myself to deathYour body would start shivering out of control, it is a terrible way to die.
>I drove up the mountain with two bottles of vodkaAlcoholic coma sounds much more comfy.
>I purposely went with no mobile phone and was only wearing a shirt and shorts.Scary.
No.305920
>>305022Is "Gunshot of head" like a basic handgun to the head?
No.305936
>>305920reminder to never EVER shoot yourself on forehead like media bastards show it will fuck your face but you will still be forced to live by normies
No.305947
I have expired SN extored but afraid to do it asleep my brain is a piece of gargabe and I rarely sleep peacefully I think it would be better for me to do it while awake to avoid being stuck in the labyrinth of my mind
No.306067
>>306065I hope that it doesn't kill you, and instead you live to go on to kill the people who made you believe that suicide as the only option.
No.306068
>>306065farewell man, lets hope death is nothingness forever.
No.306069
>>306067The other option is to wait involuntary death
No.306070
>>306065good luck man, I hope the afterlife isn't too bad. was supposed to hang myself this month but I keep procastinating. I feel like my thinking is scrambled and my mind is playing tricks on me to keep me here.
No.306071
>>306065I wish you well anon, and to suffer as little as possible before you move on to the other side. A dignified ending is one of the last few things left for us to choose.
No.306075
What household chemicals that you can buy over the counter are used for suicide? Just something I can go into the bush and chug down and have a guaranteed death in twenty minutes.
No.306077
>>306076Just found out hydrogen sulfide can be manufactured through drain cleaners and garden sulpher powder.
https://www.reddit.com/r/Music/comments/1f4hbxf/slashs_tragic_stepdaughters_cause_of_death_at_25/Seems to be a reliable and common suicide method.
I just need a reliable delivery mechanism now. A way to hit myself with a 1000 ppm dose for instant unconsciousness and death, in a way that doesn't get anyone else killed from the poisonous gas accidentally.
No.306079
>>306072Just drink a whole bottle of vodka in one go.
I know a guy that did that at a party as a challenge, then he went to bed and never woke up.
No.306082
Please guys don't kill yourselves. You are capable of more than you imagine. Please at least give Jesus a chance in your lives.
No.306083
>>306082we don't serve false gods
No.306086
Amerilards are so fucking lucky, imagine being able to just dome yourself whenever you feel like with a glock you got for free with your happy meal and chicken nuggies from McD's.
No.306574
>>296511I wonder if I wrote this back then, but probably not, life was sort of tolerable. Now it's back to being shit, hanging does seem like a solid method
No.306612
If you could take a few evil people with you to the grave, who would you choose?
I wish I could settle the score for what they did to me.
No.306614
>>306082Christianity is a disease and a psyop
No.306615
>>306083You are not a sigma
No.306950
>>296511I dont stood the weight of my sins anymore. ím a terrible person and thats will be worst. i don´t wanna be a monster.
Also. the life don´t have nothing interesting that offer me.
No.306952
i tell myself i'll do it when mom leaves the house, but i always chicken out. my chosen method is partial hanging, it seems like the easiest and least brutal method. i'm still too scared to actually do it and if i chicken out midway, i don't want to have marks on my neck. i could also fuck up and become a vegetable… if there was a button that i could press then oh boy would i be pressing it.
i'm not sure what do with my computer and whether to leave a note. my mom's not tech savvy and my pc is password protected, but if she sells it later for money or something, i don't want strangers looking at my unencrypted files. i don't have the willpower to do a full clean up.
as for the note, anything i could write just seems too cringe. i'd rather people wonder why i did it than whine about being a retarded loser. it makes me cringe thinking about people coming to my funeral and how ugly my face would be on those death notice posters. i don't have any recent photos, just the one from my government ID.
i hope after death i don't have to stick around as a ghost. i imagine the grim reaper or some angel leading me around, "so here's how your mother suffered after she found your body, don't you feel bad about it?" just turn me into a ball of radiating light and let me join the Monad. i'm tired of material existence…
No.306954
>>306952>anything i could write just seems too cringe.Because suicide as a whole is cringe.
No.306957
it is honestly amazing how we managed to squander something as wonderful as life
what kind of genuis is this?
out planet always had abundant resources for everyone to live, if not like a king then at least in peace, since fucking stone ages. Now we have tech and everything, food literally is infinite now yet we live as miserably as ever. how? literally how? this is a joke right literally all i want is to live for sake of living but even than is denied in our sociecty what the fuck is this.
i have suicide fantasies every week or maybe every day i dont know i dont count. i wish i could just do it but there some things that just hold me back i don't want my suicide to have consequences to anyone except myself im damned cant even suicide. maybe ill do it once im 40 or 50 when my sisters finally grow up.
hope rest of you will have it easy either be it passing or trying to live i hope same for myself too.