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I want to share my experiences of having an inner monologue and somewhat losing it later on.

For most of my life up until I was 17 I had an inner monologue. This was almost constant, always some kind of monologue occurring in my head. It was almost a little bit overwhelming, and while I was not diagnosed, I'm 100% sure I had OCD. Would constantly check stuff even though I knew it didn't have to, repeating things in my head to calm anxiety etc. - textbook OCD.

I remember at my "peak" I scored 128 on the Norwegian Mensa IQ test on the first attempt. Not saying that means I had that high IQ, but I'm mentioning it because nowadays I can't score more than 100-110 on the same test.

Anyways, when I was 16-17 there was a lot of fucked up personal shit I don't want to mention, but it was out of my control. I did not use drugs and I wasn't particularly irresponsible, not more than others at that age anyway.

I had gone to the doctor because I was experiencing fatigue. This was shown to be linked to low vitamin D (though it was had more to do with my home environment). The first day I took this supplement, my inner monologue quieted down. It was still there somewhat, but not as active. The next day I took the supplement again it was even quieter. I think I took for a month until I stopped because I didn't feel like myself, inner monologue was basically gone. Even though I stopped it did not return fully. This was compounded by the fact that I decided I needed to lose weight, so I did lots of water fasting, not eating for 2 days at a time. While fasting does provide some benefits, it is not recommended for someone who's brain is still developing. Malnutrition can have permanent effects on your development, which it did in my case. My inner monologue was basically completely gone at this point.

After awhile I actively tried to quiet my brain down because I had such an awful home environment, I would just watch YouTube videos with sound on full blast so I didn't have to hear what was going inside my head or in my living area (family issues). This was right before turning 18.

Ever since, things have not been the same. This was 5 and a half years ago, and things have never been the same again. I do not think as quickly, I don't "get" or understand things as quickly. Like if I read a text or hear someone say something, I may have difficulty understanding it (reading comprehension). This was almost never the case before. I also suck at arguing, if someone counter my point, I can't think of a counter argument immediately. Back in the days I would get 5 counter arguments in my head when I heard some argue against me, I would almost become overwhelmed because I wasn't sure what I was gonna throw at them first. It takes a lot of time for me to understand something, even if it's explained to me a million times.

There are some minor benefits. I am less anxious, but this could be simply due to age and teenagers being more anxious. But my OCD which I suffered from since age 12 or so has been severely diminished, it rears its ugly head occasionally, but it never gets as obsessive as it did before.

I'm generally happier, but this may be due to improved life circumstances, as I now live alone and don't have to deal with others.


All that being said, has anyone else experienced similar things in their life? And is their anyway to get their inner monologue back? Is it even worth it?


>Norwegian Mensa IQ
On the online test, that is.


Started taking anxiety meds, anxiety is gone but i can't focus properly, I feel like I am less smarter than I used to be. I'm 18 yrs old


you're…pretty young


>Be at an age where "anxiety" is perfectly normal, common, and eventually overcome
>Be given a chemical lobotomy
Kill your doctor now holy shit


i have full on aphantasia and can't imagine visual or sound and i have no monologue. when i first heard that other people have such inner experiences, i thought they were schizophrenic or crazy. then i learned the majority of people experience this stuff

as far as i'm aware, it doesn't matter at all and your brain simply find a different way to achieve the same result. there are tons of animators and artists and so on that cannot visualize, they are actually over represented which is odd. something i read in a study is that people with aphantasia don't have the same emotional reactions when reading text, scary stories, etc, but react the same as normal people when shown movies and films and so on. so they might thrive in careers requiring unemotional responses to information, like emergency situation


i can still imagine despite no audio/visuals though. the main way i imagine things is just feeling it with imaginary hands almost. so there is nothing, it's all black, but i can feel the spaces and shapes all at once. there seems to be a limit to the amount of detail though. a full on person with lots of curvy shapes and limbs and so on is too hard, but a table, geometric things, maps, these are okay

when speaking i have to form the sentence ahead of time, which if i had to describe how it goes, it's like running your hand left to right and feeling words, but you're not actually feeling them, instead the word or concept or whatever becomes fresh in the mind, again without being heard or spoken or seen. and when it feels correct i say it. if it doesn't feel correct, i keep thinking about what to say. i've done what is called 'stream of consciousness', a writing exercise, but i've spoken it aloud and recorded myself and listened to it and it reaches a point where i don't even know what i'm saying anymore and it's all gibberish, but when i listen to the recording, it's intelligible but feels like another person is speaking, not me

it sometimes feels like inside my head i have headphones on and i'm blindfolded, but someone else beside me can see and hear, and is covnerting what they see into sign language or something tactile. so what i'm imagining is like a weird game of telephone where the original thing is converted and passed along. and likewise when speaking and thinking, i feel like a caveman. i originally thought the npc meme was about an innner monologue actually, that something else inside you was simply speaking for you and you just repeated it. apparently npc meme was the opposite, not having an inner monologue somehow. i don't get it really

i'm not at all successful in life and have a painful time socializing even with family, but i'm not autistic or mentally ill or otherwise diagnosed with anything. i wish i could say that despite all this shit i'm actually a millionaire and it doesn't matter, but i have worked for only 3 months in the past decade and i'm really poor. maybe it doesn't matter and this is just how i am, i don't know. i know most meditation techniques are based around visualization which was disappointing to learn, since despite having no inner experiences i was deep into meditation for years. i'm somewhat bitter about the absence of inner experiences, whenever i remember they exist for other people, but mostly it doesn't bother me and it has never caused any real stress. maybe if i started out having them, and then lost them, that could be stressful… but it's like how a blind man can't even imagine what they are missing out on, it doesn't bother me


Would you care to take Mensas online IQ test? Its just pattern recognition https://www.mensa.org/public/mensa-iq-challenge


mine is 133, I am this >>215965


File: 1714249100092.jpg (669.31 KB, 720x720, 1:1, wizpost - instant heal.jpg) ImgOps iqdb

Brain care data you should know: https://wizchan.org/dep/res/291067.html#291423
>anxiety meds
You are killing your brain slowly, that's what you do. Anxiety is due to fear, even if you remain unaware about where this fear is. You need to fin that core.



you are either lying or this is completely unrelated to meds. im on meds and my focus never been this good. My sleep also improved which made everything else also improve a little

i get a bit angry when i see people here talking shit on meds because they were only thing that worked for me.

If you are extremely anxious please don't fall in this trap that dumb conspiracionists preach. Seek help and a better life for you. Look at meds as lifehacks. It wont magically solve your problems but i PROMISE your life will be a lot easier


You also don't have to take them forever, this is horsehit. Even if you stop cold turkey you will be in your normal state in more or less two or three weeks or less


>just ruin your life using meds and becoming dependent on it
lol I'm not taking your poison, look at your spacing.


yet the conspiracy is real


what do you think meds are? the way you talk about addiction as if taking meds is like smoking crack just shows your ignorance

what you are doing is spreading misinformation about things that could potentially make wizards lives easier and less stressful


>only MY anecdotal experience counts!
now imagine you had a bad experience, wouldnt you be writing against it? The other user just said "anxiety meds" so it's not even clear at all which drug theyre fucking talking about. It could be antipsychotics as often prescribed in eastern europe, which literally measurably shrink the brain within a few years or less.
My own anecodote: from my teenage years all through my 20s I was only prescribed SSRIs. They harmed me.
In my 30s, I was finally given beta blockers and benzos. They are very helpful, but benzos do permanently harm memory, and some people ruin their lives with benzo addiction, so i wouldnt outright recommend them to everyone. With all this in mind i'd say your comment is awful, dangerous, and low IQ.


We should better say exactly which stuff we are taking each one of us, so we may compare effectively.
>don't fall in this trap that dumb conspiracionists preach.
Ok, this was just enough to suspect you are a faggot trolling us all.
>just trust me bruh

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